Episode 8 - Love's Whimsical Ride: Dinner Disasters, Road Trip Chaos, and Crazy Online Profiles

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Ever had a dinner date that went hilariously wrong, or found yourself stuck in what we jokingly call "penis purgatory"? Join us for some laugh-out-loud moments as we share our own dating disasters and triumphs, just in time to keep that Valentine's Day spirit alive. From romantic dinners featuring beef tips and halibut in morel mushroom sauce, to laughing about personal taco preferences, our candid conversations will have you nodding along and chuckling at the whims of love and communication.

But that's not all! We recount chaotic adventures, like a tubing trip that turned into an all-night veterinary saga, and nostalgic family trips to Mackinac Island. Encountering unexpected detours on a honeymoon road trip, including a disturbing pit stop in West Virginia, adds a mix of humor and tension. These stories are filled with camaraderie, unexpected twists, and a touch of absurdity that reflects life's unpredictable nature.

To wrap things up, we dive into the outrageous world of online dating profiles. From jaw-droppingly bad bios to the infamous "crazy hot matrix," we explore what makes us swipe left faster than a speeding bullet. A chaotic concert experience adds a layer of empathy and humor, highlighting the joys and challenges of live events. Tune in for a rollercoaster of emotion, laughter, and the kind of stories that remind us why life, with all its quirks, is worth sharing.

ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.

Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.

Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:20):
welcome back to the round and loudy podcast.
This is episode 8 and we've gota great show for you.
This time we have some funnydating stories that we're going
to go over.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I got some good ones.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
These are all true dating stories that Eric and I
have experienced in one way,shape or form.
And then we have a top fiveworst things to see in a dating
profile, bio.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
And love is in the air, Brad.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Love is in the air because we just had Valentine's
Day.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Dude, my wife's awesome man, Obviously, we have
a newborn at home.
Yeah, but I talked to her and Ijust straight up asked her dude
, this is how my personality toa teen and you can vouch oh yeah
I'm just straightforward asfuck, even if it's awkward
aren't I?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
yep, even if it's awkward as shit.
Yep, you put it all out thereon the table I don't give a fuck
.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I just looked at her.
I was like, hey, likevalentine's day is coming up,
like what do we do?
She goes I don't give a shit.
Yeah, so are you saying youdon't give a shit because you
don't give a shit?
Or is this a fucking trap,because I'll buy the flowers and
the fucking bear?
we're running out of room withall the other bears I bought you
for valentine's day right, asif, like, adults need stuffed

(01:36):
animals, but like right, forsome reason that's something we
do.
She gave me a free pass.
Dude, I haven't fucking heard aword about it.
I I'm not in the doghouse, Ijust am starting to really think
that she is just as cool as Iadvertise her as.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
She's just that.
She's just fucking awesome.
Yeah, she is awesome and I canvouch for that.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
All the time.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
My wife and I went to .
It's called Bold.
It's in Kalamazoo.
Isn't that really expensive?
It is, but we so her.
Obviously, Valentine's Day wasthe 14th.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
And then the 16th was her birthday, so it was kind of
a twofer.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
So we went Not in the middle, yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
We went on Saturday and we had a really really good
dinner.
It was awesome what kind offood we had a really really good
dinner.
It was awesome what kind offood she got like beef tips,
like tenderloin tips orsomething like that.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Was it kind of your like signal, if you will,
because she was kind of afterjust the tip, she got more than
just the tip.
Let me tell you she ordered.
She's like I'll take the beeftips.
She's like sitting there nextto the waiter, like you hear
that?
You hear that fucking shit.
I'm going to be showing her myold face tonight.
Oh, oh.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
You know what I'm talking about High-fiving him.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
So she got the tips and I got halibut.
It was fucking delicious Fish.
Yeah, it's an Alaskan fish.
It's really, really good, butit was in a morel mushroom sauce
.
Really it was really good.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, so it seems like what you really like and
what Papa really likes are insync.
Oh yeah, because Papa's thatdude that loves mushrooms,
onions, tomatoes, guac, all thatshit.
Yeah Me, I'm just such a basicbitch like we went to fucking
basic bitch we went to mexicanthe other night, dude, and it's

(03:32):
like I get my tacos literallystraight up.
Flour tortilla ground beefcheese that's it that's it wow I
don't know, I'm just a firmbeliever that some things
shouldn't crunch like that's,like the, like the lettuce, like
I don't want to like'm just afirm believer that some things
shouldn't crunch.
That's like the lettuce I don'twant to eat it like I'm eating a
chip.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, there are certain times where a crunchy
taco sounds really good, oh dude.
And then soft tacos.
Yeah, there's definitely a timeand place for those, but I like
to get a little.
You probably don't like sourcream, I do.
So a little sour cream and thena little liquid like the nacho
cheese.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
That's the fucking shit right there, hey girl.
Hey girl, you want my soft taco?
I got it long and soft for you,girl.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Just how you like.
It May not be long, but it sureis skinny.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Not enough to play with, but it's enough to look
like.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
I'm kind of in between, oh shit.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
What is it called when you're Catholic and you
don't go to heaven?
Purgatory.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Penis purgatory is when you got a long softie Like
you're not quite there, right,you're in, like the waiting room
, look it is all right I'm sorrythat he's not.
He's not at full attention foryou right now.
You can change this.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Only you can change this only you can prevent penis
purgatory yeah, a small donationbrings me out of penis
purgatory.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I'll light a fucking candle for you if it makes you
feel better.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
All I need is some titties Do titties.
All right so.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Previous top three.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yes, we have to go over that.
You have to From episode seven.
Episode seven the top three.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
Episode seven I love you.
And now Okay, 11, 11.
And now okay, previous topthree Number three yeah, hi,
this is Sharon.
We caught Timmy sellinghomemade jerk-off tapes in the
cafeteria.
I didn't watch it, but here arethe chapters Jerking in public,

(05:41):
Jerking on a plane, pocketpussy, paula Shower jerk and
something called jacking andstacking oh man, that was a good
that.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
I really enjoyed that top five that was.
So yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
I'm so dude, you deserve your own.
E true hollywood story.
Dude, like I'm brad, I shit mypants in second grade and still
made it right still made itstill graduated like dude kids
today.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
That would have been horrible oh yeah, it would have
been bad I'm so glad it was theback I I was kind of debating on
whether or not I wanted to tellthat story, because I'm sure
there's there's going to beclassmates that remember that.
But I don't give a.
You know, it's like it was insecond fucking grade.
I don't give a shit anymore.
I've done far more embarrassingthings out in fucking public

(06:32):
other than that.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, it looks like we have a new topic, bud.
But I would have been a goodfriend dude, I would have given
him a visual, I would havepulled my pants right down there
and shit on the floor.
You know, just curl one up onthe carpet, just a fucking
gremlin.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
You think that's bad?
You should make a swirly.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Tom, we're going to need more of those fucking side
wood chips.
Go put this on the playground.
We're done here, alright.
Oh man, oh man.
Go put this on the playground.
We're done here, all right.

(07:14):
Oh man, oh man.
Um, so this is connie calling.
This is number two.
This is connie calling duringsex.
Ed tucker asked uh, miss jacobs, about proper pulling out
techniques.
That is not what we're tryingto cover here in Sex Ad.
Please come pick up your child.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Tucker's pull-out game is strong.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Dude just like Mel.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Just like Mel.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Mel Tucker.
Dude, that story is so weird.
He was the coach of MichiganState.
I know we kind of talked aboutthis on the last one, but he was
really high paid.
Oh yeah, we're talking like hewas probably making $7, $8
million a year.
He got in with this girl, Idon't know, she was some women's

(07:58):
rights activist, she was thereto teach the team about sexual
harassment.
I know which is hilarious.
So here's the kicker right.
Apparently, she doesn't knowhow to work a phone because when
she reported him.
She said that she sat frozewhile he pleasured himself.
And I started thinking tomyself.
I was like this story doesn'tmake any fucking sense and

(08:20):
Chelsea's like why?
I was like because MichaelJordan could call me right
fucking now.
And the second he's like I'mtouching my snake, I'm fucking
milking it, bitch like, and he'slike getting great like dude,
I'm hanging up.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
I don't care who it is yeah, I think she just wanted
to get him on something shewanted to get him going, but not
all the way she got him to like98% dude if only we had
invented our product before.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
dude penis purgatory would have been perfect for Mel
he probably would have a jobright now.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
He could go on the.
What was it?
The Price is Right.
This is Mel Tucker's penispurgatory.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, dude, what's your guess?
2000.
What's your guess?
2001.
Fuck you bitch, all rightpurgatory.
Yeah, dude, what's your guess2000?
What's your guess 2001?
Fuck you, bitch, all rightnumber one.
Your child happened to bringhis cat to school because he
heard me tell his mom I wasgonna eat that pussy.
We're gonna need you to goahead and pick him up.
Oh, man, and now we're on totelling funny stories.

(09:27):
And, man, it would be crazy ifwe could tell like the ones that
we're not allowed to tell Right, like the like dirty behind
closed doors ones, or like timesthat like you laughed while you
were in the sack, or like youknow, yeah.
Me and my wife, never mind,can't talk about it.
You see what I'm?

Speaker 1 (09:42):
saying Can't, can't talk about it.
You see what I'm saying, likeI'm an open book, but not right
now.
Right, yeah, I'm not that openlike I have a.
I have a special chapter that.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
I got a fucking banger first story.
You want me to go first orsecond you?
Go first alright, so Chelsea,who you know well, then you know
Papa well, have you met,brandon my yeah, your
brother-in-law, yeah at my yeah,your brother-in-law, yeah, uh,
at your diaper party he'sfucking awesome like that's,
that's a dude that you willclick with someday.

(10:10):
Like when you get to know him,me and him say I love you to
each other by just like therudest things, like I'll walk in
and I'll be like fuck you.
Yeah, he'll be like, eat afucking dick.
And that is our way of saying Ilove you.
Yep, so anywho.
So we plan a trip.
So, uh, he has a cabin.
Uh, he has a cabin up inbaldwin, which is about I don't
know hour from the bridge tomackinac.

(10:32):
Okay, or give or take,baldwin's a big area, I think
it's a big county, but um, Idon't think bald is a county you
shut your fucking.
The best part about that is, assoon as I said that I had, the
same doubt creep in, like that'snot a county bud, that is not a

(10:53):
county.
That's the attic yardie.
Anywho, it's a big area, sothere you go.
So he has a cabin up there, butit's fucking tiny.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean it's like two bedroom bedroom, 48 square feet,
you know what I mean, kind ofplace though like it's it's
almost built like a huntingcabin yeah, it's a cabin in the
woods, it doesn't have to be bigyeah, it's a place to escape
and get away the fact that theyhave power is fucking nuts.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah, so it was ashley and brandon, me and
chelsea, okay, papa, gamma andrachel at the time.
Okay, so seven of us give ortake, uh, this tiny little
fucking cabin.
So ashley and brandon got oneof the beds gamma and papa got
the other bed, rachel got thecouch, me and chelsea slipped in

(11:41):
the fucking tent outside, whichsounds fine, because I was
thinking maybe I'd get lucky,but there's no fucking way.
Anyway, but you know what Imean.
Like we're with family, likelet's hang out.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
I got yeah, I got stories about that, but we don't
give a shit About pitching atent or penis purgatory.
If there's family around, let'sput it that way oh yeah, we'll
hear from Brad later on that, sowe're up there and it's
summertime, so it's hot out,it's whatever.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
So we have a tent right outside the front door
with a fan, with an extensioncord.
We're kind of clamping, kind ofnot.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Well, his property up north.
There's a ton of pine trees andshit everywhere and it rained
on our way up.
So that night when we got ourtent and stuff, we put it right
under a pine tree.
And the other thing to notehere is that this is my first
time really gelling withChelsea's family, so this is

(12:44):
like 30 days in.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
To like dating.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, the relationship 30 days into the
relationship.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
We're really getting to know each other.
And fuck dude.
Oh my God.
So the night before we set up atent and right under a pine
tree it sat and dripped water,dude drip.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Oh yeah, all night Drip, drip, drip.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Drip, drip and I'm all out of options.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
All the beds are tooken, Tooken.
Fuck, this story is not goingthe way I wanted it to.
So all the beds I wanted it to,I'm enjoying it.
All the beds are sold right.
Yep, Couch is gone.
So I just kind of sat insilence and kind of just stared
because I'm just getting to knowChelsea.
I'm just like I don't know.

(13:37):
I didn't sleep the whole night.
The whole night.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, it drove you, fucking nuts I literally did not
sleep.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, the way my brain works like I need a fan or
like that, like fan sound.
If something trumps that, I'mgonna hear that.
That's all I'm gonna hear yeahso like a constant, like a tap,
like a yeah, yeah, it's gonnadrive me fucking nuts.
So I'm on no sleep.
I wake up, I'm fucking out ofit, take my pills, whatever.

(14:04):
I go shower.
Obviously I'm not in highdemand because I have a dick the
girls go first.
I know how this works and I'mand I'm just meeting her family,
so like I'm waiting, I'm takingmy time smoking cigs, like just
trying to figure out how tolike get through this fucking
day.
I go in the shower, I come outand everyone's gone and I'm like
what the fucking fuck?

(14:25):
I'm freaking out a little, I'mparanoid.
Like I have that like elevatorfeeling, like naturally from not
sleeping, like you know thatfeeling when you go up on an
elevator, yeah, and like yourwhole body feels that like weird
little tug, like I had thatwhile I was walking, like that's
how fucking tired I was.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Everywhere I that's how fucking tired I was.
Okay, everywhere I went likeyeah, like air heady, I'm
panicking, dude, I can't fuckingfind them.
They're on the other side ofthe house and they moved
brandon's truck so that Iwouldn't see it and they came
out just fucking died oh yeah sowe go up to mackinac.
Uh, we drove so we probably gotup at like 9, 10 went, uh, you
know ate something, and then, uh, we started driving towards the
bridge, so it's like an hourdrive or so.

(15:07):
Okay, uh, so we're going up tomackinac island, right?
yep and let me tell you too,dude, this isn't the funny part
of the story, but it's prettyfucking funny.
We plan on doing, like that,that tour around the island,
like with, like the horses orwhatever, like where you hop on
that, like, uh, have you everseen that like the guided tour
yeah, whatever, yeah and likeeveryone that we had talked to

(15:29):
about, it was like, yeah, it'slike 15 bucks, like you guys are
gonna have so much fun.
We get there, dude, it's like 78a person.
Holy shit to hop in this likecarriage and like go around like
just so stupid.
So all the guys are like fuckit, fuck it, let's go to a gift
shop and buy some dumb shit andwe'll just walk around and you
know, the girls are sold ontaking this tour.

(15:51):
So it causes a little bit of atiff.
Brad and I'm a little bit toohigh and a little bit too tired
to be able to figure this shitout.
So my wife's mad, ashley's mad.
Brandon is in.
I don't give a fuck mode.
I don't give a fuck either, andneither does papa, and we're
just sitting there just likewhat do we do?
Oh my god.

(16:12):
So it was such an awkward time,but it was so much fun.
It ended up being a greatfucking day.
So while we were up there, wecrammed a lot into one day, like
like the amount of shit that wedid on the day that.
I had no sleep.
I'm not even kind of done.
So we went back to the houseafter Mackinac Island it's like
probably four or five right nowwe booked a tubing trip after

(16:34):
this Same day.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Holy shit.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yeah, so the tubing place was like I don't know, 20
minutes from the house,something like that, and it's
four hours long yeah which I'mexcited about, because now we're
relaxing, which I thought youknow I'm gonna bring a bunch of
tubes yeah, I'm gonna sit on atube and smoke pot.
Her dad smokes pot.
I'm good, you know like this isgonna be fucking great turns

(17:02):
out.
You need a paddle on those for atube dude, when a river is
running really fucking fast andyou have five, well, seven tubes
strung along and you don't havea paddle, or someone guiding
yeah not good it ends badly.
It was not relaxing at all,friend, okay, her dad yeah has

(17:25):
back problems, so I'm not gonnalike ask him to do a bunch of
shit like he does a ton of shit,like I'm not saying that he
doesn't, he do, he does, yeah,but like me and brandon led the
fucking charge on that.
Dude, we were the prop, we werethe motor, we were the fucking
captain yep, high on no sleepafter going to Mackinac Known

(17:48):
this lady and her family forlike 30, 40 days at this point.
And I was like what the fuck?
So like we finally dude, I'mnot even done, I'm not even done
.
Okay, so no sleep.
I've been to Mackinac.
I've been tubing without apaddle Anybody listening.
You string people along on ariver that's running, naturally,
where you can tube, and thensome people pick you up, bring a

(18:11):
mother fucking paddle.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Trust me, so we get home.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
We get home from tubing We've already been to
Mackinac, we've been tubing.
Okay, it's like 10 o'clock,okay, both dogs run out and let
out like kind of a yelp.
A yelp, almost like a like if adog could make a right sadie,
so there's, so sadie's there andloki's there.

(18:38):
So while we're tubing the dogsare alone okay in the, in the
tiny little love shack right yepyep oh my god.
So we come back and in insadie's looking like fucking
save me, like, oh my god, I'm soglad you guys are home like the
dog on the sarah mclaughlincommercial, you know like, just

(18:58):
like just battered, beatenfucking yeah loki, his back is
breached.
We're like he's got that hump inhis back almost like a camel
and his boner stuck out, stuckout.
It would not go back in to thepoint that it was limiting his

(19:19):
walking ability and his backpicture the hunchback of notre
Notre Dame.
But as a pit bull, dude, thesame curvature of like a VW
Beetle is how his back looked.
Was he walking like he washumping the whole time, dude?
He was looking at us like hewas proud, as shit dude, like he

(19:39):
had just lost his virginity andshe fucking was begging for it.
Dude, guess what I did?
Did dad, I fucking gave it toher.
Dude.
And here's the best part, hedoesn't even have balls.
So nothing came out.
Okay, this dick is stuck, buddy, to the point that he cannot
move, papa and I, okay.

(20:00):
So once again, healthy reminderno sleep night before we've
already already drove toMackinac Island and back with
seven of us.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Four of which are females complaining.
Oh yeah, okay.
Then went tubing, which wethought was relaxing.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
No, Not fucking relaxing at all.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
We come home, dude Loki's dick is broken Straight
up.
Broken dude, it will not goback in.
It will not even kind of goback in, dude.
Oh shit, okay, we try to help.
Dude.
Like we got an ice cube on thatthing, like like papa grew up
with the dog a little more solike I let him handle the dick
business and I just held thelegs you know like, but like

(20:41):
dude, fucking ice cubes, water.
I mean we even put on anepisode of Roseanne for the guy.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
We thought that would help, if nothing else would
dude as soon as.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Mimi came out of the.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Drew.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Carey show Mimi.
Oh yeah, I think that Mimi andRoseanne are twins.
Dude, Dude, they have anability to just wreck a penis
and put it right in the penispurgatory Never getting out.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
It's less than purgatory, Okay when Roseanne
can't help.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
A dog's boner, we got a problem.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
So, we had to call the vet.
It's like 11 o'clock now.
We're trying everything andChelsea's freaking out Like
that's her fucking buddy, solike if I were to disappear,
like that's her best friend.
That's her homie Like.
Like.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
I have a dog like that.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Dude, we called the vet for Baldwin and the closest
place is Traverse City, houraway.
So he tells us, so we call, andthen he calls us back and he
tells us he's like look, if thatremains out, like your dog
could die from like, from like ablood clot or like different

(21:43):
things that could happen, Likelike pretty much everything in
his body is not going to work.
I hope I die that way.
Yeah, dude, because his dickwas so hard.
Here lies a man you know, Dude,yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
When he fell over, he just stood back up.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Dude, everyone has jokes.
Dude.
It's like, yeah, brad tookthose dick pills and didn't call
the doctor after four hours.
And here we are, you know.
So we had to take him in, dude,to get a surgery, so like 11
o'clock dude, after that fuckingday.
So like Chelsea, brandon andAshley went with the dog.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
And I stayed back.
The funny thing is like Sadieclung to me, dude, and I
understand why I really do.
I sat there with her and kindof held her like she had been
fucked for god knows how long bymy dog right, yeah at the time,
right like so I'm holding herlike she had just had the worst

(22:41):
day of her life and it's like,sweetie, you have no idea, right
?
Yeah, I would have gladly takenthat over what I had to go
through like, oh my god dude, no, I'm just kidding.
But like you know what I mean.
Like it's, and it's just such afunny story.
I wake up and take a shower.
They all disappear, notrelaxing at all.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Showers are normally my thing.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Right.
We go to fucking MackinacIsland.
I'm thinking it's going to befudge everywhere Like titties
and wooden shoes or somethingCool, dude, and it's just a
bunch of girls that I know thatare fighting.
We try to go tubing Dude.
We went on a tube and dube andthat was fucking stressful.
How do you tube and dube andhave stress, dude?

(23:22):
Yeah, that sucks.
We were higher than the devil'sdick.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Like dude I was actually on the elevator, higher
than Loki's dick.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Dude.
Yeah, I rolled one of thosekind of like mini baseball bats
where it's like half ounce, intoa joint.
Yeah, me and Papa sat on thatriver and just fucking.
So I guess in hindsight we owean apology to Brandon, because
he probably really actuallysteered the ship.
Probably I was probably toohigh.
You probably thought you weredoing all the work, you weren't

(23:53):
doing shit.
I want a t-shirt and I have at-shirt idea for the show, but I
think it's a good idea.
What if, when you got superhigh or too high, you had a
t-shirt that you could wear andit just said out of order or a
check engine light dude.
Oh yeah, just the check enginelight icon.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
And the back says round and loud it could it could
light up.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Oh my god, I'm out of commission, but yeah, so we
made it loki's dick's all right,but yeah, that was fucking wild
dude.
Yeah, no shit.
So they got home at three, yepthree in the morning slept since
the night before, so since twonights before.
Yeah, so I think when I addedit up it was close to 36 hours,

(24:39):
36 give or take that.
I was awake without sleep andit turns out that even if you're
shooting blanks, you can stillbreak that fucking thing down,
turns out if you don't use it,you do lose it

Speaker 1 (24:55):
so I gotta to piggyback off your Mackinac
Island story.
So back when my kids were theywere, I think my son was
probably around 11 or 12.
Okay, and we went up toMackinac, my aunt they were in a

(25:15):
group that had a cabin thatthey all kind of pitched in on.
On the island, not on theisland.
It was up in Mesick.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yep, I know.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
So they had a cabin and they were able to.
They all paid into it and thenthey could use it for a really
reduced rate.
It was like 50 bucks a night orsomething for everybody to stay
there.
So we would go up there everyyear and one year we went to
Mackinac.
I took my kids up there and hada good time, Got some fudge and

(25:46):
all that good stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Was your extended family there too, or was it just
you and your family?

Speaker 1 (25:50):
My mom and dad, my aunt, my uncle, I think some of
my cousins were there as well.
Damn so big cabin.
So, yeah, there was.
We actually had a cabin thatall of the bunk beds were in.
And then we had like a kitchenarea so that we could prepare

(26:11):
the food, and then all thetables were in there, and then
there was like a small livingroom so we could sit there Like
two buildings, like one withbunks, one with that's dope.
So that's dope.
Yeah, it was a good time.
We had a really good time.
It was a good place to justkind of hang out and have a good
time.
So we get back from Mackinacand we have dinner.

(26:34):
Everybody's kind of sitting inthe living room.
There's a, a show on I thinkthere was.
We were able to put like dvdsin and watch a movie or whatever
.
So we were all kind of we couldplay cards there too on the
tables.
But my son, I I went into thethe kitchen and I cut off a
piece of fudge and uh, I'm outthere in the living room and I'm

(26:55):
eating a piece of fudge andhe's like, oh, can I have a
piece?
I'm like, yeah, sure, noproblem.
So he goes out to the kitchenand like half hour hour later I
go out to the kitchen to getanother piece.
It's fucking gone.
Okay, we're talking like aquarter or a half pound of fudge

(27:16):
, like the little wedge, thewedge, the little, like half
pizza thing.
Yeah.
So I'm like I look over, I'mlike where's the fudge?
He's like I ate it.
I'm like what do you mean?
You ate it.
He's like well, you said Icould have a piece.
That does not mean he thoughtthe whole fucking thing was a

(27:38):
piece.
Okay, so he had like a halfpound of fudge.
You motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Other than the little piece that I cut off.
Just wait until I tell your momabout this.
Oh she was there.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Oh my god, I mean to this day we still fucking give
him shit about it.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Can I have a piece?
Can I have?

Speaker 1 (27:51):
a piece of fudge and I have to tell him just take a
fucking little piece off.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
I love fudge.
I'm a chocoholic dude, dude, Ilove it.
But what I don't love about itis I feel like I can eat three
of those no fucking problem inan hour.
And when you read the label,not a good idea.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Oh yeah, it's not good.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
And it just hits your stomach so much harder, yeah,
than peanut butter m&ms do,which I love, yeah, but the
weird thing about peter peanutbutter m&ms that have been
happening to me lately for somereason, when I so, I'll wake up
like like it's just stupid,stoned right sometimes and I'll
just walk in my kitchen and poplike a bunch of peanut butter

(28:37):
M&Ms in my mouth at like threein the morning go back to bed,
right, For some reason, when Ido that, when I wake up, dude,
my burps taste like Cheerios.
So if there's a health personout there, or maybe a doctor
that could tell me why.
I'll bet.
It means I have a sour stomach,but like worth, it worth it

(29:02):
fucking worth it.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Bring it on, bitch, you know like.
So my story tonight.
So this is my, my wife and I.
It was kind of a date.
We were going to a buddy's itwas actually his daughter's
graduation party, okay, and it'sup in just north of Holland a
little bit Okay.
But we stopped here in town atthe McDonald's and we just got a

(29:27):
couple something to drink forthe road Right and we stopped at
the drive-thru order what wewanted to drink and we pull
ahead and this car pulls inbehind us and you could kind of
hear her ordering and she wantedan ice cream cone.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Okay, well, that was summertime, that was, you know,
ice cream was.
The machine was actuallyworking.
I guess, I don't know, we creamwas.
The machine was actuallyworking.
I guess I don't know.
We never got there.
It's never working.
So we're pulled ahead in thenext spot and she orders her ice
cream and all of a sudden weWham, we just get hit in the ass

(30:12):
.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
You got rear-ended.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yeah, we got rear-ended in the drive-thru.
We're sitting in the fuckingdrive-thru and we get rear-ended
fuck, does that happen?
So we and my wife is likeinstantly pissed, instant pissed
.
She's like you stay here, I'llhandle this.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
I'm like holy shit, yeah, jen, yeah, I love her yeah
fuck, I wasn't supposed to saythat that's all right.
That's all right, so oh no.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
You're good.
So, oh my God, we like.
So I put it in park right and Iget out and I'm walking back
and as I'm looking, as I'mwalking back there, the car that
just hit us is backing out ofthe fucking drive-thru.
It backs all the way out to theside and it hits the fucking

(30:58):
side of the building, backs upinto the building all the
fucking way out and wham rightinto the wall of the building.
It's just like 85 year old lady, just frail as shit she's not
texting?
yeah, frail as shit.
And she, just she.
And she still has it in reverse.
I don't know if she had like aTMI or I don't know what the

(31:21):
fuck she had going on, or shejust put it in reverse to back
out and just hit the gas.
I have no idea, but she hitthat fucking wall and took out
like there was rock and shit onthe side.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
What McDonald's?

Speaker 1 (31:36):
One right here in town, no, the one up just north
of town, here Anyway.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Plainwell.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
No, right here in Richland.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Oh, yep, I know what you're talking about.
Now I got you.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
So this frail old lady, like she has no idea what
the fuck just happened.
So we run over there and likeput her car in part four and
everything it's still in reverse.
Yeah, she's still in reverse, Imean.
But yeah, and I don't know,Like she didn't know what the
fuck was going on or justfreaked out because she hit us,
or whatever the case may be.
But that was the craziestfucking thing.

(32:15):
We're sitting in a fuckingdrive-thru and we get rear-ended
.
Did you ever solve it?
I don't know what they like thecops were called and they
obviously had the the managernews no, no, they knew screw it
up.
But the store manager came outwas like inspecting the side of
the building and there's allkinds of damage there and shit
like that.
Yeah, it was, yeah was, yeah,it was wild.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
And you didn't get your burgers.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
We were just getting something to drink.
We ended up getting our drinkslater, but we were there for
shit.
We were probably there for anhour, you know, kind of
answering questions and all thatshit Like what happened and why
.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
That's the worst is when it's like when you hurt
yourself and you have no one toyell at but yourself, Like
that's how that must have feltright.
Like you're hoping a teenagergets out with a skateboard and a
cell phone so your wife can lether fucking have it.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, she would have too.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Listen here, you dumb bitch, I'll fucking kill you.
Yeah, and you want to see that.
You know because as a guy, it'shot you know, my wife gets all
fucking pissed off.
I kind of dig it Like I've toldher that before.
You know, like when she getsall like go fuck yourself
towards someone else, like partof me is just like dope Penis is
out of purgatory you know whatI mean.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Part of me sometimes wants to get her pissed so that
we can have angry sex.
Just fucking fuck you, fuckingfuck.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Just poke the bear but only a little.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would backfire in a big
way, you know, like she'd bepissed off and I wouldn't get
shit for weeks.
You know, are you fuckingkidding?

Speaker 2 (33:51):
me.
So I'm stealing your idea.
You have to pick between threestories Leatherface, racist,
fuck you Walt Disney.
So I'm stealing your idea.
You have to pick between threestories Ooh, leatherface, racist
, fuck you Walt Disney.
Or concert clusterfuck.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
I want to know about the first one, the racist, the
leatherhead, what?

Speaker 2 (34:09):
did you say Leatherface racist?

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Leatherface racist.
Yeah, what the hell is that allabout?

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Well, you know, Leatherface like Texas Chainsaw,
like they're really ugly guythat always wear the overalls.
Yep, keep that in mind, okay.
So me and my wife on ourhoneymoon, we drove my kia down
to myrtle beach.
My kia, kia wouldn't want to beand um, the amount of tolls
that, like we're, trip first off.

(34:38):
Toll roads are fucking stupid.
I'm sorry, but I just cannotstand them.
I get why they do it andthey're the nicest roads.
I get that, yes, I get that.
But, bitch, if I want to go geta fucking Slurpee for a dollar,
it's not a dollar anymore.
When I got to pay $4 to go on,your go on your.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
You don't have to take the fucking toll road.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
You bitch.
I didn't, and this is what'llhappen.
Okay, so on google maps,there's a feature that you can
click avoid tolls oh yeah, yepand like our trip from myrtle
beach to home was like, say, 13hours, yeah, with tolls yep
without tolls, it was like 13hours and 13 hours With tolls.

(35:16):
Without tolls, it was like 13hours and 12 minutes.
It's like okay, dude, it tookus on some fucking sketchy,
fucking.
You might actually know.
Okay, so do you drive to MyrtleBeach when you go?
Have you done that?

Speaker 1 (35:32):
No, I've always paid the tolls.
You vids, that's it.
I enjoy driving on fucking niceroads.
I live in fucking Michigan.
There's not a whole lot offucking nice roads around here,
okay, no no, so I enjoy it.
I'll pay the fucking $10 todrive down to Myrtle Beach on
good roads.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
I don't know.
It was quite a bit.
It showed me that it was goingto be quite a bit.
It was quite a bit.
It showed me that it was goingto be quite a bit.
It was like, say, $40, right,well, just for the sake of
argument, right, say it's $40.
So we're driving, dude, andthis is on our way to Myrtle
Beach, so we're heading up onour honeymoon.
You know, spirits are high,you're heading down.

(36:12):
Myrtle Beach is down.
I swear to god.
Okay, yes, we're going down,it's going down uh so we did the
no toll thing like I don't know.
All I remember is dude.
It starts raining, it's darkout and it takes us through west
Virginia.

(36:33):
Yeah, west Virginia, dude,scary place Like my small, tiny
experience in West Virginia, notcool.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
Was there like banjos , Dude, Dude.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
It was something out of a fucking horror movie.
So we go to this gas station,dude, and me and Chelsea both
got a pass.
We've been in the car for likefive fucking hours.
So we both go in the bathroom,dude, and I come out in a
fucking panic, dude.
So I piss Like dude.
I look around Like first off,the dude behind the counter
looks like fucking Leatherface.

(37:06):
Like doesn't need makeup, likesomething fucking like.
I don't dude big old bub, youknow like 400-pound dude like
400 pound dude, like fuckingwhatever I look up, dude, I'm
washing my hands.
I look up and there is a like apretty large banner in this
bathroom and this is like a maingas station right by a highway.

(37:27):
We proudly support white unity,really.
And it's two white handsshaking.
Oh shit, and I'm like holy fuckholy fuck, dude, like the
clan's here.
Dude, we gotta get the fuck outof here.
Like I, like everybody, don'ttell them that I'm cool with
everybody.
Like don't, hey, don't tellthem.

(37:47):
Hey, don't tell anybody aboutour black friends.
Don't tell anybody that I'mcool with gay people.
Don't you ever tell any peopleI'm accepting all right whites.
Are it for us?
Chelsea, you know.
So I look at chelsea.
I'm like we gotta get the fuckout of here.
And she's like what do you mean?
Like why?
Like what, I'm gonna get snacksand stretch my legs.
Like we'll stretch our legswherever the fuck we get, but we

(38:07):
gotta get the fuck out of hereif you don't want to fucking die
getting the fucking hug.
And like she's like oh my god,I get out to the car.
And she's like what?
What the fuck?
What's going?
you know what's going on I'mlike dude, look at my fucking
phone and I show her the picturelike we support what unity.
She goes, drive the fucking carand it's like but, dude, how?
Like?
Like, blatantly racist, in themiddle of fucking nowhere in a,

(38:27):
in a dude, my fucking god, likedude.
Oh, my god.
That set me on edge, like just.
And then we looked it up andthat was the funny thing, dude.
It was like we support whiteunity and it was like they gave
a website and it's a bunch ofpeople pissed off at Jewish
people for calling themselvesCaucasian.
That's what they fight for whofucking cares, dude, it was like

(38:51):
in the workforce if you have100 workers, we would like there
to only be one person of Jewishdescent.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah.
Dude, millions of dollars.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
That organization has millions.
Really it's like a hate groupthat's fucked up.
Wouldn't you get the fuck outof there?

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, bubble, I thought you were going in a very
different direction with thatwhole story.
Like you were going to come upwith like a game show that was
like squeal or no squeal orsomething like that.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I know a squirmer when Isee one.
And you, mister, Is it Fuck?
I just used my last name.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Whatever, I'm cool.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
I don't support white unity you know, I can bleep
that out if you want.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Oh yeah, dude, we should test the bleeping feature
.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Like you, motherfucker, I ought to come
over here and fuck you.
Our audience would never hearanything.
I know, yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
It'd be like hearing an Eminem CD with the edits on
it.
It's like I come up in the andI shove it, mama.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
It'd be like hooking a heart monitor up to a corpse.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Oh, my God dude.
Some other time.
Some other time I got to tellmy other.
I got a couple other storiesthat are fucking bangers too,
like fuck you, walt Disney andConcert Clusterfuck.
Just remind me if we ever haveextra time those are good, oh

(40:21):
shit.
You got another one, or shouldwe hop?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
into the top five.
I do have.
So you ever been up to Cadillacand went to the?
It was a little place calledthe Frosty Cup Ice cream place
no, the Frosty Cup Ice creamplace.
No, the Frosty.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Cup and it's not an ice cream place.
Is this like a butthole bar?
What is this?

Speaker 1 (40:44):
The Frosty.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Cup.
What the fuck is a?

Speaker 1 (40:45):
butthole bar.
It sounds like a brothel.
It was like a breakfast place.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Like a coffee.
I'm a buddy of yours.
What the hell is a butthole barDude?
Like a brothel, Like a buttholebar.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
We gotta create this.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
Dude.
We were made to make animatedtelevision dude.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
With all the crazy shit that we can think of.
But anyway, back to the FrostyCup.
So I'm just going to throw thisout there.
My wife and I may have may havehypothetically had sex in that

(41:34):
parking lot, in the back of her,during breakfast time.
Uh, I don't know if it wasbreakfast time, but there were
people there hypothetically.
Do you hypothetically havetinted windows?
Yeah, tinted windows, what?

Speaker 2 (41:49):
if you didn't and you just roll those bitches down
dude.
Welcome to the butthole bar,Dude.
Welcome to hey baby.
Yeah, you like that shit.
Welcome to the butthole bar.
You like that shit.
Oh, my god, Did you getbreakfast after?
Yeah, that is so cool.

(42:09):
That's a dream of mine, dude,Like if I On vacation Chelsea,
if you're listening.
I would love to wake up in themorning, smoke the biggest joint
ever with a friend.
Yep, you know like, like I know, you don't smoke very regularly
.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
No, you can't be a part of this dream if it has
anything to do with buttholebars, I don't want to be
involved.
Anyway, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
But I think the coolest thing ever that a wife
could do on a trip.
You wake up around 11 when theteenagers do dude, because you
got all fucked up the nightbefore.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
You wake up, smoke a doom, go in the shower, whatever
fuck your wife, go to a buffet.
That would be the best way toever start a day.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
It would be Ever yeah .

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Because you're going to be sluggish and taking your
time.
But guess what, buddy, You'reat a fucking buffet Right.
And you can take as long asyou'd like my friend.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Did I mention we have a chocolate?

Speaker 2 (43:12):
fountain.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
You might want to wash your hands, though.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
They still smell like pussy.
Oh, no shit.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Oh man.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
But you got any other .

Speaker 2 (43:29):
So is one of your other stories quick, it can be.
Just like me, we got an oldcountry buffet to get to.
Just like me, we got an oldcountry buffet to get to.
Fill me up, okay.
So concert clusterfuck, I'lltell that one real quick.
So it's actually kind of recent.

(43:50):
So me and my wife about a yearago we went and saw Falling in
Reverse and Hollywood Undead atWings Event Center.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
And it was awesome, awesome fucking show.
Yeah.
So we get there and, dude, mywife is so much fun at these
things, like she doesn't realizeit Because she's kind of quiet,
but like I feel like she reallylikes music and I hope she
likes getting out there with mebecause it's something we really
do a lot together.
Yeah, but I music and I hopeshe likes getting out there with
me because it's something wereally do a lot together.
Yeah, um, but I don't knowshe's, she always looks cute,
she's always fun, like it's,it's, it's always great.

(44:21):
So, um, there was an openerbefore hollywood undead and
someone I didn't really know, or, um, I'm trying to think of who
the fuck it was, it doesn'tmatter.
So we get there and, like thelights are down.
You know, we know, we knowWings Event Center really well
because we go to the K-Wingsgames like every other fucking

(44:43):
weekend.
So, um, and our seats are kindof they're in the end zone, if
you will, like we're not on theblue line, like we're kind of
even with like the net Okay, solike the concert is all the way
on the end.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
And we're in the back , so it's as dark as it could be
where we are, okay, and we walkto our seats and it's, I don't
know, probably 60% full at thistime.
Yeah, and someone's in ourseats.
So us being cool people, wedon't give a fuck, right?
Yep, we just sat in anotherseat that was open.
Yep, we'll figure it out.
Yep, so said band gets off.

(45:19):
And they got off.
Oh my god, dude, they nuttedall over the fucking concert,
all over the ice.
This one lady came out.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
I have aids.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
I know it, I know it oh my god, you can't get aids
from someone busting a nut onyour forehead.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
It's not how it spreads Anywho.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
So someone's in our seats and we're fine, so I
obviously am probably a littlehigh.
I hopped out to go smoke acigarette.
Whatever, right yeah.
No never, dude.
I'm one of the mosthigh-functioning, high people
you'll ever meet, though, am Inot?
Like, I am not the typical.

(45:59):
Like bro, you want to eat some?

Speaker 3 (46:00):
cereal and watch ren and stimpy like that's right, I
have fun with it though yeah sowe hop out for a cigarette.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
We come back, uh, to our section and it's in between
bands, they're setting up forhollywood undead right now, and,
um, we notice that no one's, noone's in our seats now.
So we're like, okay, sweet, youknow, like so the people in our
seats is like a son and a momand you could tell the mom just
didn't fucking get it and theson actually was autistic, so we

(46:28):
were treading really lightlyyeah like it was like like this
is probably a huge deal to him.
Like oh yeah, you know what Imean yep, and me, you know, me
and chelsea, like we're not outto ever like hurt someone's
feelings, so we sit in ouractual seats.
Well, the lights go down andthey're getting ready to come on
, and here comes son and mom,right to where they were and

(46:49):
it's kind of it kind of makessense if you think about it
right, like he knew where he wasgoing but didn't.
Okay, so we're in the rightseats, they're not, and he
doesn't get that yeah and I'mnot trying to be a dick, but
like dude, this is a sold-outconcert like it is now, like
we're we're now at like 95percent full yeah so where we
had sat previously when theywere in their seats, those are

(47:09):
gone right those are not anoption yep the seats next to
them gone.
The seats in front of them aregone.
It's packed.
So we finally look at the momand we're trying to explain this
to her, and her son is autistic.
He's fucking losing it, dude.
He's like fuck you guys.
You guys are a bunch of fucks.
What the fuck?
You're in our fucking seat.
And like dude, it was like sosay, it was like section 30, row

(47:32):
H, seat 1, and 2, say right.
Yep, Her ticket said 32, row Hseat 1 and 2.
So she was two over.
So we're trying to show herwhere to go.
And this lady's a fucking idiot.
I can't even explain it to you,buddy, she's dumb.

(47:52):
So she's in section 31 nowtelling people to move out of
their seats, and it's the wrongpeople.
So like we're trying to likeexplain this to her, like we're
trying to get like one of theticketing person, um and I think
I lied earlier too like thelights weren't down at this
point because we saw what thefuck was going on so they were
probably just setting up.

(48:13):
So we finally go grab a ticketguy and I'm like, dude, you're
not gonna have a lot to dotonight, but if you can solve
this for me, you're a fuckinghero right, okay, no one else is
gonna call you a hero today,but me you got 20 seconds.
Help me solve this dumb dumbfucking over here.
And I'm not talking about thekid, okay, without I'm not
talking about him, his mom yeah,I was fucking out there, dude.

(48:34):
Yeah, so he finally directs herto the seat that she's supposed
to be in, like the actual one.
So section 32, seat H, rowwhatever one, and two Kid, you,
not dude.
She walks all the way down tothis row and I didn't realize it

(48:56):
at the time.
Dude stands up with sunglasseson.
I thought he had sunglasses onbecause he was high, fucking
blind.
Oh my god oh shit.
So all within a five minuteperiod, we pissed, pissed off an
autistic kid, his mom.
Yep and a blind guy and afucking blind guy that ended up

(49:19):
tripping trying to find hiscorrect seat.
Why didn't the and I wanted tolook at the mom so bad?
Be like he's autistic, he'sblind.
What the fuck is your excuseLike?
You know what I'm like.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Oh my.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
God, that was an epic concert too, like the coolest
thing about that.
So actually that was falling inreverse.
Papa Roach and Hollywood undead.
Okay, so Papa Roach is prettybig.
They're they're more like anineties.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Uh uh, falling in reverse is really big right now,
Kind of heavy.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
The craziest thing was is that I was there to see
Falling in Reverse Singer RonnieRadke.
He's this wild as shit kind ofguy and.
I dig it, I dig him.
I think he's fucking cool.
He's a very go fuck yourselfkind of guy.
Yeah, and people mess with him,he'll respond with a middle
finger.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
He doesn't give a shit.
Yep, the coolest part aboutthat show was like falling
reverse was excellent, dude,like I have nothing bad like
excellent.
And papa roach was great too,uh, but hollywood undead blew me
fucking away like they were sogood.
It was like it was like hearingsomething for the first time
that you had no idea was as goodas you like they were so, dude,
they had seven people on stage,buddy seven, yeah, like there's
dudes that sing.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
Seven.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Like there's dudes that sing, there's dudes that
rap, there's dudes that playguitar, there's dudes that play
drums, there's dudes that playbass, and they're so together.
It was fucking insane.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
So like hearing, like somebody get up and rap and
then their head singer kind ofreminds me of like Chester from
Linkin Park sounded like thatkind of rasp but like really
fucking good, yep blew me awayone of my favorite bands to this
day and I never would haveknown that yeah, sweet, and
maybe if you had pissed off theblind guy, maybe it's because
that moment was so tense that Iwas so focused on that and not

(51:08):
my surroundings, because Ididn't want to like draw
attention yeah I ended up uh,the mom actually after hollywood
and dad like went up with a sonand I think he had to go to the
bathroom or something.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
But I actually saw her out in the concourse and I
went up to her and I justapologized.
I was like, look like, I knowyou're trying to do a cool thing
for your son here.
I know that that was a horriblesituation.
This is probably where youdon't want to be.
It would be like me trying toswitch seats with someone at
like fucking Disney on ice, andI'm thinking to myself.
I don't fucking want to be atDisney on ice, so why don't you
sit the fuck down and just stopbugging me?

(51:41):
You know, like that's kind ofthe attitude she had with me.
She ended up giving me a bighug and explained to me like and
I already knew like, explainedto me that her son was autistic
and he's a huge fan.
Oh yeah, so it was a negativeturned positive but, like, dude,
that is the worst feeling inthe world and anybody could have
fallen into that fuckingmousetrap.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
It's a sold-out concert.
If we don't sit there, thatmeans we don't watch it.
Yep, Fuck Autistic guy goes andtaps a fucking blind guy on the
shoulder and I started thefucking hurricane.
Oh man, Isn a guy goes and tapsa fucking blind guy on the
shoulder and I started thefucking hurricane.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Oh man, isn't that wild.
That's a true story dude, truefucking story rabid or just
you're just pissing off allkinds of people yeah, dude, fuck
you walt disney, remind meabout that one all right.
Well, uh, it's a time for ourtop five.
Top five.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
Well, it's a time for our top five, top five.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
I'm really looking forward to seeing or hearing
what you have on your datingprofile.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Would you like me to go first?

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Yeah, okay, you go first.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
So these are the top five worst things you could find
on a dating profile description.
The way I'm thinking of this is, if you're a chick chick, we'll
say you're a chick and you'relike oh fuck, dude, sky skyler's
hot and shit.
His description says what, whatthe fuck?

Speaker 1 (53:06):
that's what we're going for or if you're a dude,
you're like wow, britney's gotperky titties.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
They touch her description says what, all right
, the worst.
So like one-liners or likedescription paragraphs or
whatever you could have in there, right yep, you bring a safe
word, I'll bring the plan b ohmy god, number five, that was

(53:32):
number five.
You bring the safe word, I'llbring that.
Plan B, number four.
What's up?
My name's Chet and I'm anadaptive motherfucker.
I've lived in my mom's basement, county jail, prison and a farm
all within one year.
If I move in with you, bitch,it'll be number five.

(53:52):
That's five places in one year.
I don't even think michaeljordan's done that piece can you
imagine?
Oh man oh my god, oh my god,number three, this is yeah,
number three.
Number three, this is yeah,number three.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
I have an appetite.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
I've been known to have an appetite, like Jeffrey
Dahmer.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Appetite like Jeffrey Dahmer.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Oh my god dude.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
That's all it says in the About Me.
I tend to have an appetite,like Jeffrey Dahmer.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
I can't even imagine.
The picture that the guy wouldhave.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Number four is going to have a two-parter.
Okay, and I'm sorry for that.
This is going back to the firstepisode where I had a top six.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Oh, what the?

Speaker 2 (54:55):
fuck, no, dude.
One's if you're a guy, One's.
If you're a girl, Okay, Allright.
So if you're a guy, it wouldsay couches, pull out, but I
never do.
And if you're a girl it wouldsay my vagina has no gag reflex.
And number one I can flick apaper football with my boner and

(55:34):
make field goals all damn day,dude.
It's often odd to picture this,but it's kind of like the door
spring the doorknob when it goesback and forth.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
That's the type of motion.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
I'm willing to give you baby.

Speaker 3 (55:46):
I can flick a fucking paper football with my boner.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Oh man, I don't even know if that's possible.
Nope, nope, I cannot start thatbecause that's how my brain
works.
Dude the next time.
I do a count, honey.
Wait, wait, wait One second.
You remember at Sam's Club whenyou were asking me if I was
making a cootie catcher and Isaid, nope, you'll see.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
You're going to want to see this.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
You're going to try it out?

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Oh, man, man, I got a couple ones for the for that
back half portion.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
All right, all right.
Well, this is my top five.
Top five, I'm going to saythese are the top five worst
Tinder profiles.
So you're swiping throughTinder.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Like description or names the bio Okay.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Number one this could be maleor female, it doesn't matter.
Okay, I can hide a half kilo ofcocaine in my prison wallet.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
Do you want to play hide and seek?

Speaker 2 (57:12):
I can hide a half kilo in my prison wallet my
prison wallet, dude, it'scurrency.
It turns out down the streetthey're opening a butt bar, so
my prison wallet's on point.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
It's a butthole bar.
Oh my god.
Number two, let me uh, oh mygod, number two, I mean.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
That would be so intriguing if I was single.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
I'd be like fuck it.
You wanna go?
Oh my god, do you wanna go?
Egg some cars and poke homelesspeople in sticks and eat some
fucking White Castle?
Because I feel like you're downfor that.
Number two.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
And this could be male or female Must be cautious
during sex or my colostomy bagmight rupture.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Oh my god, and then keep describing it.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Have you ever ordered a drink that's called a
mudslide?
It's like that without thesyrup.
Oh shit, my colostomy Numberthree.
I feel bad for people that havethat.

(58:38):
That would suck.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
Oh yeah, it would suck dude.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely,especially if they were trying
to get dates.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Okay, I'm guessing doggy's out of the picture
because.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Number three I'm only here for the rim jobs, oh my
god period but make it all rhymedude like.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
I'm only here for the rim jobs and the trim jobs and
the grim jobs and if you'relooking for a penis?
I hope you're down with slimjobs.
I'm only here for the rim jobs,and if you're looking for a
penis, I hope you're down withSlim Jobs.
I'm only here for the rib jobs.
That would be so weird if thatwas a guy.

(59:26):
That was straight.
Yeah, and girls?
That's the first thing thatthey read was just like I want
you to lick my butthole clean.
I want you to clean that shit,like I'm going to sell it on
eBay.
Look at that.
You left a spot.

(59:47):
He left a spot.
You missed a spot.
There's a streak.
You get those crusties.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
The Klingons, don't forget the Klingons.
The extra crunch beers.
Oh my God, the Klingons.
Don't forget the Klingons, theextra crunch berries.
Oh shit, number four, mm-hmm,my ankle monitor.

Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Yes, doesn't allow me to leave my mom's house, so
we'll have to do it in thegarage.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Another person I'd hit up Doesn't allow me to leave
my mom's.
Oh my God, would you call her?
No?
Actually, it's really funnythat you say that, because I
knew somebody, so I had to sellinsurance in benton harbor, yeah

(01:00:40):
, and like dude.
I got really cool with a lot ofpeople down there like dude.
There's nothing like thatfeeling.
It's just so cool like I can'teven explain it like I I could
just roll through there like itwas awesome.
But one night we were all at aparty and, uh, I was asking a
couple people what they do andyou, you know, it was like five
friends and you know relatives,whatever.
And one guy's like I'm amechanic and one guy's, like you

(01:01:02):
know, I'm a lawyer.
And one guy's like you know, Iwork at blah, blah, blah in the
factory.
One guy looked at me in thefucking dead and dead, fucking
serious, Looks at me and goesI'm the dude that can do kind of
crazy shit like you need yourankle monitor.
Took enough, I got that shitbitch like dude.
So this was the guy that couldlike remove an ankle monitor and

(01:01:25):
then reassemble it and no onewould know so like if you needed
to actually let go, so like hemade a fuck ton of money doing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Oh, I bet yeah a fuck ton of money doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Oh, I bet yeah A fuck ton of money doing that yeah.
Because people would leave fora couple days, because it
doesn't even look like they'rethere.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
Right yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Or if you're looking to skip town.
Yeah 200 bucks will get you outof that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Oh shit, Isn't that great yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I bet he made a lot of money especially in Benton
Harbor area.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
harbor area, dude, if you died because you had too
long of a boner, like you talkedabout earlier, right, I don't
have to worry about having toolong of a boner.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Wouldn't they send over a cocksmith?
Or like a surgeon that works onhands.
Like don't they have a hand job?
Like I would talk about thatall day.
Like giving handies all day atwork and I'm supposed to just be
cool with it a cocksmith, oh mygod, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Number five number five this is.
This is a woman's bio.
Okay, do you do voices or doyou not like them?
No, okay, no, there's no voice.
This is a bio.
You're reading it?

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
You're kind of going to do it like this and you say,
hey, I'm Sharon.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
So on the lady's profile it says I'm married with
a pegging fetish.
Oh my God, my husband's notinto it, no, ass.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
I'll pass Dude, not calling her no ass.
I'll pass.
And there she is reading yourprofile that says you're only
here for the rim job.
She thinks it's a match made inheaven.
But after that rim job, oh myGod, dude.
So penis purgatory, right backto that.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
but after that rim job.
Oh my god, Dude so penispurgatory.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Right back to that.
If you go one way, you get aboner, and it's awesome, and if
you go the opposite way, likethe hell way, dude, that's
pegging.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
That's what that is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Like when you don't think there's a rock bottom, but
you keep drilling down, keepdrilling.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Keep drilling, Keep going.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Dude, that would make me delete the app.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah, you're not swiping right on that, like the
other ones.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
I think that would be weird, like if someone was like
super religious, like an overlyreligious, where it's like I
only praise Allah and I come toAllah, like shit, like that
would be so fucking freaky.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
Yeah.
Where are you shimmery otherones um.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
I'm fluent in english klingon jabberwockies and star
wars my pullout game is strongerthan your ability to walk the
next day.
I want to Casper the Ghost youon your face.

(01:04:25):
Do you remember Casper theGhost?

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Yeah, yeah, if she got all sticky.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Sticky.
What about Ted Bundy fanatic?

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Period About me.
Oh shit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
Love to make you shout, love to eat you out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
I'm Eric.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Please holla.
I hope the meanest bone in yourbody is me.
I'm Rick, I'm 36.
And honestly I'm just lookingto get my thing wet.
Or someone that listed hobbiesLike what if they listed like
paper mache, float building,writing poems?

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
And then the last one , eating cats.
Oh shit.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Most of my sexual experiences involve you laying
there and shutting the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
And me jerking off.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
passions include night vision, stalking ling,
fucking train, in that order ohmy god dude.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Oh my God, dude.
So I have one extra one, and Iwas kind of debating on whether
or not to put it in the top five, but I couldn't think of any
ones to replace.
The females bio would say if mypersonality doesn't suit you,
be patient.
I have nine more, oh my God,and I will suit you, be patient.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
I have nine more, oh my god, and I will find you.
Yes, oh my god, be patient.
I have nine more.
I don't fuck on the first datePeriod.
Oh shit, or what if they posteddifferent restaurants and what

(01:06:36):
you would get?
So if you went to Checkers,you'll get side boob.
Oh yeah, yeah, right, okay, andthen we're going to move up a
little bit.
We're at Qdoba now.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
You're going to get some make-out action with titty,
full titty.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
We're going to put I don't know Apple at like hand
job, olive gardens, blow job.
Bold is like you know you'reable to do, like fuck, you know,
and then, uh, you know, like awebster's like a really
expensive.
A really expensive place wouldbe you.

(01:07:14):
They just label it as GrandSlam.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
For a bowl.
They better be able to peg her.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
So, like after that, the Grand Slam would just be any
hole, any goal.
I'm open to criticism at thatpoint, my belly's full.
I'm going to be full for morethan one reason take me out to
this place or what are otherthings that like girls could put

(01:07:45):
on their profile.
That would be like just a hugeturnoff.
Dave matthews band fan.
I don't know all natural,including my armpits that would
be a no.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
if her vagina hair looked like the beard of ZZ Top?

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
like it never stopped growing you could like braid it
.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
You know, dude give it cornrows.
Oh my God dude, what is?

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
another thing, that would be a different style of
landing strip.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
And I think guy profile would be like anything
that like over-talked about sexwould be a huge one.
Like I'm just trying to thinkabout like real-life application
of like what would be awful.
Like I'm just trying to thinkabout like real life application
of like what would be awfulLike girls or like just looking
for you to come fuck a baby intome or something creepy like
that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
Yeah, I don't use protection.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
Currently have seven baby daddies Holler at me if you
want to be number eight.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Yeah, that's a big no .

Speaker 2 (01:08:55):
Hope you're cool with masturbating in the bathroom,
like usual.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
I don't put out.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
Don't worry, I have a mirror Menopause.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
Menopause victim here .
What else could a girl put on aprofile that would be super
unattractive if you were single?
You got to think when you'resingle, works at the butthole
bar that of the month.
Call me up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
oh my god, I want you to put it on your face like war
paint.
Yeah, I want you to get yourred wings tonight.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Big boy, oh my god, twilight fan yeah twilight fan
come fuck a baby into me, oh my.

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
God, there's so many things, are you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Moses, do you want to part?

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
my ribs Part the ribs let's see God, why don't we?

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
sit around and watch Dexter.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
What could a guy put on her profile that would be
awful.
What could a guy put on herprofile that would be awful Like
if you're reading this and I'mnot online, please call my
lawyer.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Only out from prison for the weekend.
Hit me up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
They call me micro penis.
They call me micro penis, micropenis, paul, or they call me
sterile steve.
We have nothing to worry about,girl.

Speaker 1 (01:10:20):
I'm shooting blanks they call me butt bar, bob butt
bar bob dude, I'm a regular.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
Yes, I work there.
I am the only male at thebutthole.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
I think we should ask our listeners for some good
ones.
What would you say no to if yousaw on a bio for Tinder or for
any other dating site?

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
Even adding another layer, say she's hotter than
fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Oh yeah, she's a tan Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
That reminds me you get that match right, like you
get that match and it's likepamela anderson and her prime
titties are touching, like shelooks super hot, but you read
about her and you're like I'mgood yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
So when you said that , when you said that they were
hot, have you ever heard of ofthe crazy hot matrix?

Speaker 2 (01:11:15):
Yeah, it's true, it's a very true thing.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
That's very, very true.

Speaker 2 (01:11:19):
You got to find.
So she'd have to be a 10 hot,but crazy like crazy crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
She'd have to be like a 10 crazy, like the type of
chick.

Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
that's like 42, not married and still saying men
ain't shit, it's like bitch, youain't shit.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Yeah, shit, yeah that .
But in that situation oh yeah,so crazy, what would be?
What would be something thatyou would read on one of those
crazy bios?
That's what I want to know, Ithink.
I think our listeners wouldprobably have some.
Come up with some good shitdude.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
I don't give a fuck if she looks like scarlett
johansson.
If she had a buuckeye shirt on,I'm fucking dead my boner.

Speaker 1 (01:12:01):
My first message to her would be You're going to
have an innie instead of anoutie.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
Dude, I would just text her a picture of a turtle
and just say my boner'sturtle-shelled baby he's not
coming out.
You're not going to see anO-face from me, that's on your
resume for life, yeah, or justhot dog down a hallway period.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
Oh shit.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
Currently in hospice come hang.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh,that's bad Currently in hospice
and I'm down for anything, evenif it kills me Because likely it
will.

Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
I've actually heard old folks'.
Homes are like they fuck a lot.
Oh yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
Yeah, there's a lot.
I think a lot of the old folks'homes and shit like that.
They're crawling with STDs andshit.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
That's not cool, but if it wasn't, I don't know.
I feel like if I was an old guyI'd have some funny terms, If I
was in an old folks' home and Iwas a single guy, obviously.
Right.
If I'm with Chels, we'll be inthere together with our stupid
Segway cards.

Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
Or whatever the fuck.
Those are those like like hoveraround, you know those little
automatic things.

Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
Yeah, the yeah, but like, do you think that, like
the term like I want somegummies, you know?
Like when someone says I wantsome gummies, like I know what
that means, you're?

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
gonna have a lady take out her teeth and drop to
her knees, exactly dude I wantsome gummies.

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
Don't knock it till.
You tried it.

Speaker 3 (01:13:35):
Well, I've tried it, my friend take out her teeth and
drop to her knees.
Exactly, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
What's up, gabby?
Don't knock it till you'vetried it.
Well, I've tried it, my friend.
I'll never get blowjobs withteeth again.
I'm never going back, bro.
I've already told my wife bitethe curb bitch, because we gotta
solve this oh my god, dude,bite the curb bitch.

(01:14:05):
Oh my god, their phoneslistening are probably serving
them a bunch of trolley oldgummy ads and stuff.
It's like that's not what wemean.
Nope, I mean, gladys is gonnadown here, take her dentures out
.
She can barely breathe, but I'mhaving a great time and I
always remind myself, if sheactually does die, that's what

(01:14:25):
she's here to do.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
It's no risk.
Oh God, oh man.

Speaker 3 (01:14:30):
Let's just say that's dark.

Speaker 2 (01:14:33):
The word condom doesn't get used often here.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Oh man, well, I think that about wraps it up, jesus.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
Well, that about raw dogs it out oh man.

Speaker 1 (01:14:57):
Well, hey thanks everybody for joining us.
Hope you really enjoyed theshow.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
We took it too far.

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
Maybe a little.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
I'm a habitual line stepper.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Yeah, we know this.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
I know this.
That's why we're here.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
It is why we're here.
We're blowing off steam.
We're having a great time.
Dude, this is like thehighlight of the week for me,
Don't let your wife hear itAfter.

Speaker 2 (01:15:21):
Do you have time with her?

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
Oh yeah, Well, yes, obviously.

Speaker 2 (01:15:26):
I know it's one of my favorite things too, like I
just I don't know, and I feellike every time we do it I'm
geeked for the next one.

Speaker 1 (01:15:35):
Yeah, and I feel like every time we do it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
I'm geeked for the next one, yeah, just to even
rehash it, yes, so I guessthat's a listener thing that I
would like.

Speaker 1 (01:15:45):
Jason.
Well, I know that probably somepeople have been kind of upset.
I think you've gotten somephone calls that why haven't we
put out a new episode?
And, like we said in the lastone, we kind of fucked that one.
Well, I did, I fucked that oneall up.

Speaker 2 (01:15:59):
The audio was shit.
Even though the audio was alittle fucky.

Speaker 1 (01:16:08):
I still think it sounded better than the halftime
show.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, it wasbad.
It was real bad.
We couldn't put that one out.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
No, we're down to put out, but not that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
Well, if we're going to put out, we want to make sure
it's good, right.

Speaker 2 (01:16:20):
Yeah, I want to have my Britney Spears onesie, that
weird belly shirt on, if I'mputting out, I'm going, you know
we're wearing the BritneySpears onesie and going to the
butthole bar.
Going to the butthole bar andjust paid $5 to get my penis out
of purgatory.
What you doing tonight, girl,oh shit.

(01:16:41):
Penis purgatory dude that's anew term and I think that's a
funny term that might stick andtruly.
What I mean by penis purgatoryis like when you're in that
in-between phase, like whereyou're not hard you, you're not
hard, you're not soft, but inlife, right, like we're, like
maybe wife isn't fucking, orlike whatever dude.

Speaker 1 (01:16:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:58):
I'm in penis purgatory.
Yeah, I get it.
It's been canceled.

Speaker 1 (01:17:03):
Sex is canceled.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Turns out they don't take too kind to Casper the
ghost jokes, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
Well, hey, that wraps it up.
Thanks for listening.
Appreciate you.
You can reach out to us.

Speaker 2 (01:17:21):
Comments on YouTube, spotify, yep, but the best way
to get a hold of the show is ourGmail account, which Brad
talked about earlier.
R-o-w-d-a-n-d-l-o-u-d-y.

Speaker 1 (01:17:35):
Drop us a line At gmailcom.

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
Or don't.
We don't give a fuck.
Yeah, we don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
But if you do, we'll interact.

Speaker 2 (01:17:42):
The fuck out of that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
Yeah, we'll make some comments.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
I hope we get to the point where we can't have that
Gmail because it gets flooded.
Dude, that would be a great day.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
Yeah, great day.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
yeah, your mailbox is full and you can't take any
more yeah, treat us like thatpoor dog Sadie and my dog Loki.
Just stuff that mailbox, justopen it in stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
Whatever you want, be like Moses.
Well, thanks everybody, we'llcatch you on the next episode
absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
Thank you guys for listening peace, peace for
listening, peace.
Peace.