November 29, 2023 • 19 mins
Have you ever thought about how your thoughts can affect how well you do in business? Well, in this episode, we're going to look at how having the right kind of thinking is super important, especially during holidays. We'll talk about how truly believing in what you're doing and having a positive attitude can make people see your products or services in a good way. We'll also share our own stories to show why it's important to deal with any worries you might have and work on having the right mindset for success in the long run. Our converstation is a strong reminder that growing as a person and doing well in business are connected, so it's a good idea to take care of your mental strength.
In this episode, we discuss the following:
1. The significance of mindset in achieving success in business.
2. The importance of the energy you project and the belief you have in the products or services you are selling.
3. How addressing your personal trauma and working on your mindset is beneficial for your business.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to Rock's Talks, the podcast that helps
network marketers grow theirbusiness on social media.
I'm Roxanne Wilson, socialmedia network marketing coach,
with nearly a decade ofexperience in the space, as well
as television and radioexperience, and a passion to
really help you and empower youto be the best network marketer
you can be, which means knowingyourself and knowing your brand.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And I'm Taryn Soa, your social media sidekick.
I run all things behind thescenes at Rock's Talks, While
being the right hand woman toRoxanne, I also strategize and
manage our full social mediaplan.
So I would love to share withyou the tips, the happenings,
(00:50):
all the things going on in thesocial media world.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Each week, we're here to give you the latest and
greatest direct selling, socialselling, network marketing,
whatever you like to call it.
The end game is for you toreally understand your business,
understand yourself and yourbrand and to rock it on social
media.
It's the most wonderful time ofthe ding ding, ding dong.
(01:17):
You have not had that yet.
Yo, I'm surprised you're here.
Happy holidays as you'relistening to this.
You've just finished GivingTuesday.
You've just finished CyberMonday.
You've just finished SmallBusiness Saturday.
You've just finished BlackFriday.
You just finished Stuffin' andHuffin' with Thanksgiving.
(01:39):
How ya feeling.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Who did the turkey trot?
That's what I want to know,right, who did the turkey?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
trot.
We used to have a jazzer sizeclass the day of Thanksgiving
and we call it Huff and Puffbefore you stuff.
Oh gosh, I could use that.
Oh yeah, those were populartimes.
My dad, because he was a soccercoach for tons and tons of
years and they used to haveevery Thanksgiving they'd have a
(02:07):
before they did theThanksgiving tournament.
On Thanksgiving morning theywould have a parents versus the
kids game.
Of course they'd always have tolet the parents win, but it was
always cute to see it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
What you had to let the kids win.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, no, they were highly competitive.
They were no.
These were like state andregional champs and all the
things.
Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Let them have some breaking rights at the table.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Exactly so.
Something I've been noticingtearing up my heart tear bear,
is that there are some of youwho are putting a lot of effort
into this holiday season, whichis good, because this is the
time of like just go balls tothe walls, get your product into
as many people's hands aspossible, all the things and yet
(02:55):
you're not seeing the results.
Oh, or you were given, given ona platy, a perfect plan for how
to execute the holiday seasonand you're just not doing it.
The reason is the same for bothof you.
(03:16):
So you're do, do, doing and notseeing the results, or you're
not doing and also not seeingthe results.
The reason you're not seeingthe results is the same.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
So are you going to tell us what it is?
Tell us, that's the reason.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yes, I'll tell you, it is y'all.
I'm trying to find a like, anon-cliché way to say it.
Yes, it is something new.
You're going to be told, after喔, what's going on in between
your two ears.
It's your head, it's your mind,it's your mindset.
Yes, I'm gonna say mindset, soI'm gonna turn it off, like, oh,
she's gonna get a littlemindset-y, but it's so true,
it's what's going on betweenyour head.
And if your head isn't right,you know what the rest of this
(03:53):
is not right.
There is a show, and I can'tit's.
The show got canceled Canceledbecause I'm a very controversial
lead of the show and the nameof the show is named after a
very controversial person.
But growing up I'll give you ahint as a black woman and a
black family, we used to watch ashow all the time, and I'll
(04:15):
remember, I always remember,this episode where one of the
children in the family bringshome her new husband, and her
new husband is this marim, andshe's like this is my husband
and he has a child, and shecan't understand why her parents
are so bothered by the wholething.
And so the parents describe thesituation as like why don't you
(04:40):
imagine something?
Imagine you go to your favoriterestaurant.
I want you right now to thinkabout your, and if it's Chipotle
, I don't mean Chipotle.
Like your favorite, likefive-star restaurant Restaurants
.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
sit down with a server, not KFC.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, I've been watching too much Love Is Blind.
Where you're like is thisfavorite restaurant is Chipotle,
yeah, no, Okay.
So this is like nice, nicerestaurant, right?
And you're so excited andyou're dressed up and you've got
your best person with you andyou're like ordering this
six-course meal and you're soexcited and the filet mignon is
(05:15):
about to come and you've got thewaiter or the server, I should
say and they've got the Evenhave the napkin.
This is all the.
I remember this part.
He's describing this way thenapkin on the shoulder, and he
has your plate and there's asilver cap over it and he lifts
it up and you see that yourfilet mignon is on a garbage can
lid.
Ew, Like exactly.
(05:38):
Would you want that filetmignon?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, probably not.
No, consider it for a secondand then I'm like oh shit I
can't eat it.
It gets ruined.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Right, the filet mignon is ruined because of what
it was presented on, as opposedto you presenting it on a plate
or a platter, y'all it's thesame.
You're like where is she goingwith this?
It's the same thing.
When you're sitting there andyou're doing all the do but
you're not believing it's goingto work, you're thinking, oh my
gosh, this business has beencrappy this year.
(06:10):
A note my team has quit on me.
I can't get people to buy fromme.
I can't convince people to buyfrom me.
I don't believe this works.
If you present whatever you'reselling and I don't care if
you're presenting it via socialmedia or talking to someone or
doing a presentation to a group,if that is what's in the back
(06:32):
of your head then you basicallyserve them filet mignon on a
garbage can lid and then you'retrying to understand and you
can't understand.
Why don't they want to have tooffer?
Because the energy you put outthere was garbage.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Was garbage.
I was literally actually lastnight listening to this awesome
master class and it was likebefore you can even do sales or
strategy.
You have to work on your energyand not in a way I mean, if
this works for you, whateverwhere you get out all your
stones and you're dancing nakedin the moon, like we were
(07:08):
talking about earlier offlinebut people can feel your energy.
They are attracted to youbecause of you.
So if the energy you're puttingout is negative, guess what?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
They are going to turn their little booty around
and run the other direction 100%like a magnet, repelling, not
attracting, and you can try andsideswipe it all you want.
But I think about when I coach.
Like most of the coaching thatI do is mindset coaching.
Now, you don't hire me formindset coaching because you
(07:42):
don't want to do mindsetcoaching.
You want to know how to getwhat you need to get done right
now and I'll show you and I'llhelp you.
But the moment you feel likeyou're stumbling, it's because
we're discovering that yourmindset is not right and that's
what we then have to go and workon.
There's so many of my clientswho are like oh, this was
therapy, and I'm not a therapist, I'm not saying they are, but
(08:05):
because the mindset matters.
It truly, truly, truly matters.
And you think people don't know, but you got to think about it.
There are times where you aretotally detracted or repelled
from something and you're like,eh, that is a stick.
Two people selling the samething, which is what most of you
are doing.
Why do you grab towards oneperson and not the other when
(08:27):
they are literally selling thesame thing?
And you could say, oh well, hersocial media is better.
She did that, but at the end ofthe day, it's the energy she's
putting out there, it's themindset.
It's that she believes or shedoes not believe.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
And you can tell, you can see when someone's kind of
questioning it and I feel likeit's kind of what we've talked
about in the past, where it'slike and you feel like it's not
spammy.
What word am I looking for?
Use car summon yeah, you cansee right through it where
you're like yeah, is she goingto be selling something
different next week?
Does she really?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
believe it or is she just trying to get me to do it?
It's also why I don't believethat you should lead with the
business, because if you don'tbelieve and you've got nothing
going on and you're like, joinme, join me, join me you're
wondering why people aren'tjoining you.
It's because you don't believein your business.
Why should someone join you ina business you don't believe in?
And that's why I applaud peopleand they're like you know what?
I don't believe right now inbringing someone on and telling
(09:22):
them hey, you're going to make Xamount of dollars, because I
just don't see that happeningfor them.
So I'm not going to say it.
I'm like bravo to you.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, gone are the days.
I think and that's what we'rereally trying to make a change
is leading with the business.
I still see it, I still see itand you're like oh well, what
are you actually selling?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But yeah, yeah.
So I am a firm believer andyou've heard me probably say
this over and over again.
But if you came to startingyour business thinking I'm going
to learn about business, yes,you are.
But remember that thing thatyou locked in the deep dark
(10:01):
corners of your mind, whatevertype of trauma, insecurities it
might be, and you locked it andyou threw away the key and
you're like OK, I never have tothink about you again being a
business person, whether you'rea direct seller, network marker,
social seller, or you're acoach, or you've got a drop ship
(10:22):
, no matter what kind ofbusiness you have, if you're an
entrepreneur, those things willcreep up.
That door you thought waslocked will suddenly unlock and
that thing you thought you putaway like the Vespers, like I
used to watch Charmed, they'recoming for you, coming for you
yes, and that's not alwaysadvertised when someone wants to
start a business.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Like oh, by the way, while you're doing this business
, every trauma you've ever hadis going to lay itself back out
for you.
And to be successful inbusiness, you have to work on it
.
You've got to work on it.
You can't just leave it layingthere.
You've got to pick it up, youknow.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that would be the best commercial for a
company wanting people to do 9to 5.
Do 9 to 5 so all of your deep,dark trauma won't come out.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yes, you don't really have to use your brain as much.
Well, ok, what do we?
Really feel about 9 to 5?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I know, right, you've got to turn it on and turn it
back off, just.
But if you are going to be abusiness person, the squishy
stuff is going to come up.
And it's going to come upsometimes when you usually when
you really didn't want it to,because you didn't want it to
anyway, yeah, so embrace thatand and understand that that's
going to be part of it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
When did that come up for you in your business Like?
Because I have a vivid memoryof when it was like oh my God, I
need to work on this.
And it clicked.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
When did that come up for me?
It came up for me when I wasdoing network marketing not
coaching, actually, yeah.
And it came up for me because Iwas like, okay, I'm doing all
the things and and peoplestarted hating me.
People just like I was helpingeveryone, I was doing things for
the team at large, I was doingthings that were successful in
(12:09):
my business, and then I washearing all this shit that
people were saying about me andI was like what, I'm here on
Island, what the heck?
And I had a choice.
Yeah, I had a choice in thatmoment to like what I used to do
, which was like dive into themess and try and like defend
myself, or and or just not Say Idon't accept this cause.
(12:31):
I know this isn't true and I'mnot.
I'm not, I am misunderstood,Hello manifestor.
And I'm going to walk, justlike walk away from it.
And so I did.
I walked away.
I'm like you know what?
I don't need this.
I know I didn't do anythingwrong.
I don't know why you guys thinkthese things about me.
I don't even know you.
You're like so removed from meand you hate me and you're
telling me, like what'shappening here?
(12:53):
Yeah, but it was hurtful,because you see people you think
know you, who were like, ohwell, this person might be
anyway, but that's when I had todeal with him.
Okay, what am I going to dothis time?
I'm going to try and defendmyself or I'm just going to be
me and just walk away.
And I walked away, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think there's.
There's a moment that I likerealized it.
But there's also the momentbefore I realized it, when I was
trying to sell it works, yeah,the wraps and I could not.
I couldn't do it.
I like could not get out ofmyself to do it and so I quit it
and I was like this isn't justnot going to work for me, so I
(13:30):
didn't do anything with it.
Fast forward, a year later, Istarted doing more virtual
assisting and I was ready tokind of like expand my business
outside of one client and thepeople pleasing in me was taking
over.
I was unhappy, I'm like I was sodepressed and I had finally
reached out to like a life coach.
And she's like Taryn, you needto feel your feelings.
(13:52):
And I was like what are youtalking about?
I feel my feelings and she'slike no, you don't.
And so that was like the oh.
Once I started like monitoring,I like I had stuffed every
single feeling and the only onesthat would bubble out would be
anger.
If I was really angry.
Or like you know where you everhave that like really good cry,
(14:15):
where it's like you just takethe lid off and then you can't
stop crying and you're cryingand crying, and those are the
two emotions I felt Wow, nothappiness, not, you know and so
I had to really really work onthat.
I still do.
It's hard to feel feelings.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I think it's.
Yeah, I think it's.
A lot of times it comes upagain and you just like did I
figure this out?
Or maybe I didn't figure it out?
Maybe there's another piece,another feeling.
I need to learn how to feel.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yep, there's another layer, especially to like for me
personally.
I was that way for a reasonright, because of the family
that I was around.
So it's like you do kind ofhave to keep you change, but
like the people around youaren't changing.
So there's that piece too.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, and how are you going to react to that?
Yeah, exactly, that's so true.
So I guess the takeaway for youright now, because I think, hey
, that's great, Roxanne, I stillhave sales, I still have places
I need to go right now, yeah,it is.
I guess.
If you're not, if you know yourenergy is off, which it is,
yeah, the long term, there'ssome work.
(15:17):
That I'm not saying is going tobe fixed just because you
listened to this podcast.
I wish it was, but that's notgoing to happen.
What do you believe in?
What do you have to offer thatyou do believe in?
And take your energy withsomething you know that you
believe in and perhaps try andpromote that.
It may not be the thing that'son sale or is like the big, oh
my gosh, thing we're doing rightnow, but if there's something
(15:38):
you believe in, if everyone'ssaying like sell, like recruit,
recruit, recruit and you're like, but I just believe in the body
wash, then talk about the bodywash, Talk about the thing you
believe in.
And for those of you who arenot doing anything because you
don't believe, between your headyou believe in something or you
wouldn't be in the business, sojust talk about that thing that
you believe in.
Start there.
(15:59):
But my other suggestion would beto decide and maybe it's for
2024, maybe you don't want to doit right now.
That's totally fine that you aregoing to work on your mindset
that you are going to, whetherthat be going to therapy,
whether that be coaching,whatever.
And if you're someone whoyou're like you know what,
Roxanne, I cannot stomachinvesting in something that
(16:24):
seems kind of woo-wee or soft,qualitative and not quantitative
then find a coach like what Ido, where it's like yes, you're
coming for this and I'll helpyou move the needle here, but I
am going to work on the squishystuff at the same time.
Like, if you, if that you justlike I need to know that we're
working towards a goal that isquantitative than awesome.
(16:45):
If you're like I don't needthat, I know I need, I'm okay
with just qualitative, then goget a therapist, Go to therapy.
Either way, do something.
Decide that you are going to dosomething now to really help
you, and it's not I'm just goingto help you with your business.
It's literally going to helpyou with life.
I promise it will.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I promise too.
I promise you know, every timeI work on myself, my business
grows and continues to grow andI'm learning.
It's not just a one and donething, like I work on my mindset
all the time, all the time, allthe time, and makes you feel
better makes you feel goodAbsolutely, and that's why it's
the most wonderful time of theyear.
(17:28):
Speaking of that, my behind thescenes we're going to decorate
for Christmas.
I think tonight or tomorrow Ihave been the Grinch when it has
come to Christmas, because Iusually decorate.
You're a mean one, I know.
I usually decorate November 1stand it is as we're recording.
(17:49):
I don't know what the day is,november 21st.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So we're going to do it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yay, holiday spirit, that'll be good.
And they'll be the first timedecorating your new place,
that's even more exciting.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Mm-hmm, yep, so I'm going to take all this stuff out
and see where we're going toput it.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I don't think we're decorating this year.
I just don't know.
No, probably not.
No, and I knew that a month ago.
I'm like I don't think we'redecorating this year.
Yeah, with the move and we'renot home now, we're still in the
Boston area and then we'removing I just don't think it's
(18:29):
gonna happen.
So I like to look at otherpeople's decorations.
So show them a post, share themwith me.
I wanna see them for sure.
My behind the scenes is I'mjust like moving along.
That's what I got.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Moving along.
Nothing wrong with that,nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
All right, y'all, you're amazing.
We'll see you next week.
Be kind to yourself and pleasedon't sit there and go.
I should be further along withthis mental stuff.
No, you shouldn't.
No one said that.
That's not a thing, not a headnot behind.
You're exactly where you'resupposed to be, but do work on
it now.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Awesome, we love you guys.
See you next week, bye, bye.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Rock Talks.
We would love for you to helpus get this message out to other
network marketers.
If you could follow rate reviewwherever you are listening to
this episode, we would greatlyappreciate it.
(19:26):
And hey, if this episode speaksto you directly, take a
screenshot of you listening onyour device and post it on
Instagram stories.
Be sure to tag us over at RocksTalks.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Always remember you're not ahead, you're not
behind, you're exactly whereyou're supposed to be and we'll
see you next week for anotherepisode of Rocks Talks.
Thank you.
Welcome to Rock's Talks, the podcast that helps
network marketers grow theirbusiness on social media.
I'm Roxanne Wilson, socialmedia network marketing coach,
with nearly a decade ofexperience in the space, as well
as television and radioexperience, and a passion to
really help you and empower youto be the best network marketer
you can be, which means knowingyourself and knowing your brand.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And I'm Taryn Soa, your social media sidekick.
I run all things behind thescenes at Rock's Talks, While
being the right hand woman toRoxanne, I also strategize and
manage our full social mediaplan.
So I would love to share withyou the tips, the happenings,
(00:50):
all the things going on in thesocial media world.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Each week, we're here to give you the latest and
greatest direct selling, socialselling, network marketing,
whatever you like to call it.
The end game is for you toreally understand your business,
understand yourself and yourbrand and to rock it on social
media.
It's the most wonderful time ofthe ding ding, ding dong.
(01:17):
You have not had that yet.
Yo, I'm surprised you're here.
Happy holidays as you'relistening to this.
You've just finished GivingTuesday.
You've just finished CyberMonday.
You've just finished SmallBusiness Saturday.
You've just finished BlackFriday.
You just finished Stuffin' andHuffin' with Thanksgiving.
(01:39):
How ya feeling.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Who did the turkey trot?
That's what I want to know,right, who did the turkey?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
trot.
We used to have a jazzer sizeclass the day of Thanksgiving
and we call it Huff and Puffbefore you stuff.
Oh gosh, I could use that.
Oh yeah, those were populartimes.
My dad, because he was a soccercoach for tons and tons of
years and they used to haveevery Thanksgiving they'd have a
(02:07):
before they did theThanksgiving tournament.
On Thanksgiving morning theywould have a parents versus the
kids game.
Of course they'd always have tolet the parents win, but it was
always cute to see it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
What you had to let the kids win.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, no, they were highly competitive.
They were no.
These were like state andregional champs and all the
things.
Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Let them have some breaking rights at the table.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Exactly so.
Something I've been noticingtearing up my heart tear bear,
is that there are some of youwho are putting a lot of effort
into this holiday season, whichis good, because this is the
time of like just go balls tothe walls, get your product into
as many people's hands aspossible, all the things and yet
(02:55):
you're not seeing the results.
Oh, or you were given, given ona platy, a perfect plan for how
to execute the holiday seasonand you're just not doing it.
The reason is the same for bothof you.
(03:16):
So you're do, do, doing and notseeing the results, or you're
not doing and also not seeingthe results.
The reason you're not seeingthe results is the same.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
So are you going to tell us what it is?
Tell us, that's the reason.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yes, I'll tell you, it is y'all.
I'm trying to find a like, anon-cliché way to say it.
Yes, it is something new.
You're going to be told, after喔, what's going on in between
your two ears.
It's your head, it's your mind,it's your mindset.
Yes, I'm gonna say mindset, soI'm gonna turn it off, like, oh,
she's gonna get a littlemindset-y, but it's so true,
it's what's going on betweenyour head.
And if your head isn't right,you know what the rest of this
(03:53):
is not right.
There is a show, and I can'tit's.
The show got canceled Canceledbecause I'm a very controversial
lead of the show and the nameof the show is named after a
very controversial person.
But growing up I'll give you ahint as a black woman and a
black family, we used to watch ashow all the time, and I'll
(04:15):
remember, I always remember,this episode where one of the
children in the family bringshome her new husband, and her
new husband is this marim, andshe's like this is my husband
and he has a child, and shecan't understand why her parents
are so bothered by the wholething.
And so the parents describe thesituation as like why don't you
(04:40):
imagine something?
Imagine you go to your favoriterestaurant.
I want you right now to thinkabout your, and if it's Chipotle
, I don't mean Chipotle.
Like your favorite, likefive-star restaurant Restaurants
.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
sit down with a server, not KFC.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, I've been watching too much Love Is Blind.
Where you're like is thisfavorite restaurant is Chipotle,
yeah, no, Okay.
So this is like nice, nicerestaurant, right?
And you're so excited andyou're dressed up and you've got
your best person with you andyou're like ordering this
six-course meal and you're soexcited and the filet mignon is
(05:15):
about to come and you've got thewaiter or the server, I should
say and they've got the Evenhave the napkin.
This is all the.
I remember this part.
He's describing this way thenapkin on the shoulder, and he
has your plate and there's asilver cap over it and he lifts
it up and you see that yourfilet mignon is on a garbage can
lid.
Ew, Like exactly.
(05:38):
Would you want that filetmignon?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, probably not.
No, consider it for a secondand then I'm like oh shit I
can't eat it.
It gets ruined.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Right, the filet mignon is ruined because of what
it was presented on, as opposedto you presenting it on a plate
or a platter, y'all it's thesame.
You're like where is she goingwith this?
It's the same thing.
When you're sitting there andyou're doing all the do but
you're not believing it's goingto work, you're thinking, oh my
gosh, this business has beencrappy this year.
(06:10):
A note my team has quit on me.
I can't get people to buy fromme.
I can't convince people to buyfrom me.
I don't believe this works.
If you present whatever you'reselling and I don't care if
you're presenting it via socialmedia or talking to someone or
doing a presentation to a group,if that is what's in the back
(06:32):
of your head then you basicallyserve them filet mignon on a
garbage can lid and then you'retrying to understand and you
can't understand.
Why don't they want to have tooffer?
Because the energy you put outthere was garbage.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Was garbage.
I was literally actually lastnight listening to this awesome
master class and it was likebefore you can even do sales or
strategy.
You have to work on your energyand not in a way I mean, if
this works for you, whateverwhere you get out all your
stones and you're dancing nakedin the moon, like we were
(07:08):
talking about earlier offlinebut people can feel your energy.
They are attracted to youbecause of you.
So if the energy you're puttingout is negative, guess what?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
They are going to turn their little booty around
and run the other direction 100%like a magnet, repelling, not
attracting, and you can try andsideswipe it all you want.
But I think about when I coach.
Like most of the coaching thatI do is mindset coaching.
Now, you don't hire me formindset coaching because you
(07:42):
don't want to do mindsetcoaching.
You want to know how to getwhat you need to get done right
now and I'll show you and I'llhelp you.
But the moment you feel likeyou're stumbling, it's because
we're discovering that yourmindset is not right and that's
what we then have to go and workon.
There's so many of my clientswho are like oh, this was
therapy, and I'm not a therapist, I'm not saying they are, but
(08:05):
because the mindset matters.
It truly, truly, truly matters.
And you think people don't know, but you got to think about it.
There are times where you aretotally detracted or repelled
from something and you're like,eh, that is a stick.
Two people selling the samething, which is what most of you
are doing.
Why do you grab towards oneperson and not the other when
(08:27):
they are literally selling thesame thing?
And you could say, oh well, hersocial media is better.
She did that, but at the end ofthe day, it's the energy she's
putting out there, it's themindset.
It's that she believes or shedoes not believe.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
And you can tell, you can see when someone's kind of
questioning it and I feel likeit's kind of what we've talked
about in the past, where it'slike and you feel like it's not
spammy.
What word am I looking for?
Use car summon yeah, you cansee right through it where
you're like yeah, is she goingto be selling something
different next week?
Does she really?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
believe it or is she just trying to get me to do it?
It's also why I don't believethat you should lead with the
business, because if you don'tbelieve and you've got nothing
going on and you're like, joinme, join me, join me you're
wondering why people aren'tjoining you.
It's because you don't believein your business.
Why should someone join you ina business you don't believe in?
And that's why I applaud peopleand they're like you know what?
I don't believe right now inbringing someone on and telling
(09:22):
them hey, you're going to make Xamount of dollars, because I
just don't see that happeningfor them.
So I'm not going to say it.
I'm like bravo to you.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, gone are the days.
I think and that's what we'rereally trying to make a change
is leading with the business.
I still see it, I still see itand you're like oh well, what
are you actually selling?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But yeah, yeah.
So I am a firm believer andyou've heard me probably say
this over and over again.
But if you came to startingyour business thinking I'm going
to learn about business, yes,you are.
But remember that thing thatyou locked in the deep dark
(10:01):
corners of your mind, whatevertype of trauma, insecurities it
might be, and you locked it andyou threw away the key and
you're like OK, I never have tothink about you again being a
business person, whether you'rea direct seller, network marker,
social seller, or you're acoach, or you've got a drop ship
(10:22):
, no matter what kind ofbusiness you have, if you're an
entrepreneur, those things willcreep up.
That door you thought waslocked will suddenly unlock and
that thing you thought you putaway like the Vespers, like I
used to watch Charmed, they'recoming for you, coming for you
yes, and that's not alwaysadvertised when someone wants to
start a business.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Like oh, by the way, while you're doing this business
, every trauma you've ever hadis going to lay itself back out
for you.
And to be successful inbusiness, you have to work on it
.
You've got to work on it.
You can't just leave it layingthere.
You've got to pick it up, youknow.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that would be the best commercial for a
company wanting people to do 9to 5.
Do 9 to 5 so all of your deep,dark trauma won't come out.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yes, you don't really have to use your brain as much.
Well, ok, what do we?
Really feel about 9 to 5?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I know, right, you've got to turn it on and turn it
back off, just.
But if you are going to be abusiness person, the squishy
stuff is going to come up.
And it's going to come upsometimes when you usually when
you really didn't want it to,because you didn't want it to
anyway, yeah, so embrace thatand and understand that that's
going to be part of it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
When did that come up for you in your business Like?
Because I have a vivid memoryof when it was like oh my God, I
need to work on this.
And it clicked.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
When did that come up for me?
It came up for me when I wasdoing network marketing not
coaching, actually, yeah.
And it came up for me because Iwas like, okay, I'm doing all
the things and and peoplestarted hating me.
People just like I was helpingeveryone, I was doing things for
the team at large, I was doingthings that were successful in
(12:09):
my business, and then I washearing all this shit that
people were saying about me andI was like what, I'm here on
Island, what the heck?
And I had a choice.
Yeah, I had a choice in thatmoment to like what I used to do
, which was like dive into themess and try and like defend
myself, or and or just not Say Idon't accept this cause.
(12:31):
I know this isn't true and I'mnot.
I'm not, I am misunderstood,Hello manifestor.
And I'm going to walk, justlike walk away from it.
And so I did.
I walked away.
I'm like you know what?
I don't need this.
I know I didn't do anythingwrong.
I don't know why you guys thinkthese things about me.
I don't even know you.
You're like so removed from meand you hate me and you're
telling me, like what'shappening here?
(12:53):
Yeah, but it was hurtful,because you see people you think
know you, who were like, ohwell, this person might be
anyway, but that's when I had todeal with him.
Okay, what am I going to dothis time?
I'm going to try and defendmyself or I'm just going to be
me and just walk away.
And I walked away, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think there's.
There's a moment that I likerealized it.
But there's also the momentbefore I realized it, when I was
trying to sell it works, yeah,the wraps and I could not.
I couldn't do it.
I like could not get out ofmyself to do it and so I quit it
and I was like this isn't justnot going to work for me, so I
(13:30):
didn't do anything with it.
Fast forward, a year later, Istarted doing more virtual
assisting and I was ready tokind of like expand my business
outside of one client and thepeople pleasing in me was taking
over.
I was unhappy, I'm like I was sodepressed and I had finally
reached out to like a life coach.
And she's like Taryn, you needto feel your feelings.
(13:52):
And I was like what are youtalking about?
I feel my feelings and she'slike no, you don't.
And so that was like the oh.
Once I started like monitoring,I like I had stuffed every
single feeling and the only onesthat would bubble out would be
anger.
If I was really angry.
Or like you know where you everhave that like really good cry,
(14:15):
where it's like you just takethe lid off and then you can't
stop crying and you're cryingand crying, and those are the
two emotions I felt Wow, nothappiness, not, you know and so
I had to really really work onthat.
I still do.
It's hard to feel feelings.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I think it's.
Yeah, I think it's.
A lot of times it comes upagain and you just like did I
figure this out?
Or maybe I didn't figure it out?
Maybe there's another piece,another feeling.
I need to learn how to feel.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yep, there's another layer, especially to like for me
personally.
I was that way for a reasonright, because of the family
that I was around.
So it's like you do kind ofhave to keep you change, but
like the people around youaren't changing.
So there's that piece too.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, and how are you going to react to that?
Yeah, exactly, that's so true.
So I guess the takeaway for youright now, because I think, hey
, that's great, Roxanne, I stillhave sales, I still have places
I need to go right now, yeah,it is.
I guess.
If you're not, if you know yourenergy is off, which it is,
yeah, the long term, there'ssome work.
(15:17):
That I'm not saying is going tobe fixed just because you
listened to this podcast.
I wish it was, but that's notgoing to happen.
What do you believe in?
What do you have to offer thatyou do believe in?
And take your energy withsomething you know that you
believe in and perhaps try andpromote that.
It may not be the thing that'son sale or is like the big, oh
my gosh, thing we're doing rightnow, but if there's something
(15:38):
you believe in, if everyone'ssaying like sell, like recruit,
recruit, recruit and you're like, but I just believe in the body
wash, then talk about the bodywash, Talk about the thing you
believe in.
And for those of you who arenot doing anything because you
don't believe, between your headyou believe in something or you
wouldn't be in the business, sojust talk about that thing that
you believe in.
Start there.
(15:59):
But my other suggestion would beto decide and maybe it's for
2024, maybe you don't want to doit right now.
That's totally fine that you aregoing to work on your mindset
that you are going to, whetherthat be going to therapy,
whether that be coaching,whatever.
And if you're someone whoyou're like you know what,
Roxanne, I cannot stomachinvesting in something that
(16:24):
seems kind of woo-wee or soft,qualitative and not quantitative
then find a coach like what Ido, where it's like yes, you're
coming for this and I'll helpyou move the needle here, but I
am going to work on the squishystuff at the same time.
Like, if you, if that you justlike I need to know that we're
working towards a goal that isquantitative than awesome.
(16:45):
If you're like I don't needthat, I know I need, I'm okay
with just qualitative, then goget a therapist, Go to therapy.
Either way, do something.
Decide that you are going to dosomething now to really help
you, and it's not I'm just goingto help you with your business.
It's literally going to helpyou with life.
I promise it will.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I promise too.
I promise you know, every timeI work on myself, my business
grows and continues to grow andI'm learning.
It's not just a one and donething, like I work on my mindset
all the time, all the time, allthe time, and makes you feel
better makes you feel goodAbsolutely, and that's why it's
the most wonderful time of theyear.
(17:28):
Speaking of that, my behind thescenes we're going to decorate
for Christmas.
I think tonight or tomorrow Ihave been the Grinch when it has
come to Christmas, because Iusually decorate.
You're a mean one, I know.
I usually decorate November 1stand it is as we're recording.
(17:49):
I don't know what the day is,november 21st.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So we're going to do it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yay, holiday spirit, that'll be good.
And they'll be the first timedecorating your new place,
that's even more exciting.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Mm-hmm, yep, so I'm going to take all this stuff out
and see where we're going toput it.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I don't think we're decorating this year.
I just don't know.
No, probably not.
No, and I knew that a month ago.
I'm like I don't think we'redecorating this year.
Yeah, with the move and we'renot home now, we're still in the
Boston area and then we'removing I just don't think it's
(18:29):
gonna happen.
So I like to look at otherpeople's decorations.
So show them a post, share themwith me.
I wanna see them for sure.
My behind the scenes is I'mjust like moving along.
That's what I got.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Moving along.
Nothing wrong with that,nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
All right, y'all, you're amazing.
We'll see you next week.
Be kind to yourself and pleasedon't sit there and go.
I should be further along withthis mental stuff.
No, you shouldn't.
No one said that.
That's not a thing, not a headnot behind.
You're exactly where you'resupposed to be, but do work on
it now.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Awesome, we love you guys.
See you next week, bye, bye.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Rock Talks.
We would love for you to helpus get this message out to other
network marketers.
If you could follow rate reviewwherever you are listening to
this episode, we would greatlyappreciate it.
(19:26):
And hey, if this episode speaksto you directly, take a
screenshot of you listening onyour device and post it on
Instagram stories.
Be sure to tag us over at RocksTalks.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Always remember you're not ahead, you're not
behind, you're exactly whereyou're supposed to be and we'll
see you next week for anotherepisode of Rocks Talks.
Thank you.
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