Trigger warning: This episode may include discussions about suicide, mental illness, substance abuse and self-harm. If these topics are sensitive to you, proceed with caution. It may also contain strong language and is intended for an adult audience.
If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988. When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary. The current Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, even after 988 is launched nationally. Veterans can now dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veteran Crisis Line.Suicide warning signs can be found at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (Afsp.org).
Today we hear the perspective of a surviving partner. Her name is Jean Mellano. Steve and Jean met in 1981 and were together for over 33 years. Theirs was a love story and a tragedy. In 2013, Steve started slipping away and his depressions were becoming more frequent and longer in duration. Even though he sought professional help, he could no longer make decisions and was no longer capable of running his business.
For any survivor who is listening, this episode is so powerful because Jean shares her struggles before and after Steve’s death. Like many survivors, memories continue to surface at often unexpected times. After she finished this interview, Jean remembered something important that she wanted to make sure we include.
A few weeks before he passed, in a phone conversation, Steve shared with her that he was so afraid. When she asked what he meant, he could not—or did not want to—explain what he feared. Little did she know, he probably realized he was literally “losing his mind” and had no control over it. He felt he had no options left. Steve was her Ironman, her rock of support who got her through cancer and the passing of her parents—how could he possibly feel so vulnerable and alone? And how could she not know? These are the thoughts that continue to surface, even 7 years later. Sadly, this is common for survivors, so if you are going through this, you are not alone.
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An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.