Lifting Heavy at 40, Cold Plunges, Supplements & Surviving Toddler Tantrums | Ask Us Anything Vol. 4 - Stronger Weekly

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Right, right. Or when you spend $200 on
Colorado Rockies tickets and do all the planning and preparing.
You put it in a calendar two months out.
You drive an hour, you show up to the stadium and your son
dumps a freaking slushy on the stranger sitting in front of him
and then gets pissed off at me because I'm telling me can't
have this slushy. Yeah, give me the tools to to

(00:20):
deal with that. Put me under the heaviest squat
bar that was ever created. I don't, crushes me into the
ground, puts me in hospital. And I want to get back up from
underneath this bar. All right, cool, let's dive into

(00:49):
a man. It's our Ask Us Anything
episode. We got some great questions.
I think we want to get in 20 this week.
I think we have 9 here that we're going to try to hit and
what I like about this. This month's questions is some
of them that came in are actually connected to the
episodes of this month. So we had Katie Herzog on that
talked about drink your way sober, which is the Sinclair
Method using medication. We have Mike Hardenbrook who

(01:11):
talked about supplements in general, but also how you can
use those to kind of help with some habits and then some other
ones. So I, I think I'm going to
start, I'm going to flow through, we're going to start
with alcohol as the topic. I think this, I think this
question is great. It's sometimes you get so in the
weeds around alcohol and habits that you start asking these like
kind of like complicated questions.

(01:32):
And this is like probably the most important, but the simplest
question around alcohol. So we're going to start with
you, Justin, on your answer. But the first question here is
how do you know if you're drinking?
Is quote bad enough to need helpversus just normal social
drinking? Great question.
It's a fantastic question and one that, you know, I wish I

(01:54):
asked a little bit sooner in my life.
I think when we asked ourselves this question, the easiest
answer to go to is playing the comparison game with ourselves
compared to somebody else that we know or that we heard.
And nine times out of 10, the people that we're comparing
ourselves to, we know are worse than whatever it is we're making
it out to be in our heads that we are.

(02:15):
But you know, going through thismaze in my head many, many times
over the years, like I think it could have been answered a lot
quicker and more effectively if I ask myself the question, is
alcohol pulling me away from thelife that I want to be able to
live? And that can look like many
different things. And like to take it even
further, is it stealing? Is it stealing your mornings?

(02:36):
Is it stealing your nights? Is it stealing your peace?
You know, your ability to see yourself or who you really are.
Like I think being able to ask yourself those quick questions
and like have an answer of like,oh, am I is my ability to be
present with my family affected by alcohol?
Is my ability to be a good employee affected by alcohol?
Like it doesn't have to be a well, Jimmy down the street

(02:58):
crashed his truck into the neighbor's house with seven kids
in the car last week. I'm not as bad.
Like it doesn't have to be that.And I feel like a lot of times
and when this question is asked,it's when people are are
hovering usually towards the that the side of the spectrum
they don't want to go to with drinking and everything.
But like people are are waiting for this rock bottom to be hit.

(03:21):
And like your rock bottom doesn't have to come with your
casket. Like it doesn't have to be this
eye opening horrible. Somebody has to die in order for
me to make a change. Like crisis doesn't.
And you don't need crisis in order to to have a change occur
with it. You know what I mean?
Like, and just getting ahead of this and like asking yourself
these questions before you know something horrible happens is,

(03:44):
is probably the best thing you can do.
So everybody listening, I hope you can challenge yourself and
ask yourself this question rightnow.
Yeah, agreed, Agreed. Everything you said.
And then I'm going to kind of add some some buckets on, on
things or ways we might self evaluate because also I'll kind
of piggyback up what you said, what you led with your answer
was essentially, and these are my words, not yours, But if it's

(04:07):
taking you away from your goals,if it's negatively impacting
your life, well, how can it do that?
And I think 4 buckets to evaluate.
And there could be more than this, but I think if it's
impacting your physical health, if it's impacting your emotional
health, if it's impacting your bank account, when that could be

(04:28):
tied to your career performance or literally spending money on
drinking or going out. And is it impacting your
relationships, Right. So I think if you look at those
4 buckets, physical health what,what should our goals be?
We want to be fit, generally fit.
Emotionally health, what are ourgoals?
We want to be happy and maybe present, which you and I talk

(04:48):
about all the time. Bank account.
I mean, your goal doesn't need to be, I want to be wealthy, but
you want to be comfortable and in relationships, you want to
feel love and respect and you want to give love and respect.
And I think it doesn't need to be something where, OK, alcohol
is impacting all of those things.
But to wrap this up, I think if you're drinking is impacting

(05:10):
even one of those that could be an indicator that you you need
to assess. Yeah, that's re evaluate.
Exactly. But I completely agree with you
in that like the comparison thing is like if you take some
train wreck rock bottom scenarioand say, well, I'm not that, I'm
good. That's just giving yourself
permission to continue on the road.

(05:31):
And then the last thing I'll sayis for the person who asked this
question or anyone listening, ifyou are asking this question,
you are already probably drinking too much or you're
going down that road because whyis that on your mind?
Exactly. Yep.
I would say to that so awesome. Next one has to do with
supplements and habit building. This is good too, man.

(05:54):
Again, a simple question that helps you kind of think deep
about it, but the question is how do you decide whether you
need supplements at all versus just eating better?
That's a good one. That is a very good one.
I mean, I, you'll hear both of us talk about this a lot on on
the podcast, but obviously I think we should be aiming to get

(06:15):
the majority of our, you know, micro macros from our actual
diet. But I don't think there's many
people out there who are gettingtheir full, you know, RDA of
vitamins and minerals with from their diet.
So I think everybody should be taking at least a multivitamin
and fish oil like we talked about many times.

(06:36):
But outside of that, I think it can get pretty scenario
specific. You know, I think, you know, are
you having trouble? Is it sleep that you're you're
struggling with? Is it something that you're not
able to fall asleep or you're able to fall asleep quick, but
you're finding yourself waking up a time like that's when I
think we can move from. OK, let's assess the diet 1st
and see what are you having throughout the day and before
bed. But if not, let's try, you know,

(06:58):
supplementing with XY and Z. But yeah I always go back to
diet but fully understanding that reality of the situations
most likely are people aren't getting everything they should
be from their diet. So that's when introducing the
supplements as needed would be my recommendation.
Yeah, I think if I just double click on the question need

(07:21):
supplements, I think that missesa point.
It it almost implies that you should only take supplements if
you need them. Yeah.
And I think there are some science backed really, really
good supplements that are healthy for anybody, even if you
are eating well. And I agree with you that unless
you're basically a professional athlete and that is your job to

(07:42):
be on top of your nutrition and your exercise, almost all of us
are lacking in something even ifyou eat healthy around the
clock. So I think there are some
fundamental creatines that you should take year round that you
don't need to need them, you should just take them.
Yeah. And you and I talk about all the
time, but in case there's new listeners on the show, I mean,
you and I are, we are aligned onfish oil.

(08:04):
I think we're aligned on creatine, right?
Yep, Yep. Nootropic and physical benefits
there. I think an interesting one to
think about is vitamin D if you're not going down in the sun
enough, there's so many benefitsof of just having like a
baseline of adequate vitamin D and then.
And two and. Yeah, exactly.

(08:24):
And on the multivitamo and interesting you said everyone
should take that. I would disagree.
I love that. Yeah, in that I, I think that if
you do eat a well-rounded, if you have a well-rounded
nutritional kind of like lifestyle, I think you can get
the micronutrients that you need.

(08:46):
However, I would agree that mostpeople aren't doing that.
So they might consider a multivitamin.
And I'm, I'm of the, the mindsetof if you're gonna go the
multivitamin route, there's thiskind of like middle door where
instead of taking a pill, you can look into like daily greens
or something like that. Exactly.
I think most people who aren't getting the micronutrients they
need, they're probably not getting them from vegetables.

(09:08):
Leafy. Green.
Yeah, and that's where like a daily green can help.
But yeah, I think everyone should be taking something.
But then if you need additional supplementation, that's where
I'd say you might want to seek like a holistic type coach or a
integrative Dr. 'cause they might like do some blood work
and say, well, you're lacking. And then you get medical advice

(09:31):
to go ahead and and lean into something.
But what? Do you think I was going to say,
I mean, at the end of the day, you really want to find out what
you are or what you're lacking or not lacking.
Get blood work, a full panel, hormonal, holistic, obviously
the better. Get as many markers tested as
you can, especially men as you continue to age.

(09:51):
Like fine wine in this wonderfullife, making sure everything's
going, going accordingly underneath that.
I agree. I think we had a question last
month which which had to do withit like aging, like, you know,
what kind of workout should I doat 30?
And we're both like, well, don'tworry about that.
Like wait until you're a little older.
But on the topic, and I agree with you on on blood work, I, I
don't think it's as common as itshould be, but I think men and

(10:13):
women when they do reach a certain age, assuming they've
been relatively healthy up untilthat .3540, I think it's so
helpful for your future to get avery, very comprehensive blood
analysis done so that you can establish A baseline for.
The exactly. For the future, I think.
That doesn't have to be like, well, I don't feel right right

(10:34):
now, so I want to, I want to wait until something's going on
to get it checked. Like, no, it's that baseline.
So you know, whether or not you're feeling a certain way
that things are in line or there's an area that you got to
look into and, you know, get ahead of rather than react to
down the line when it's a littlebit too late.
A. 100% agreed. Agreed.
All right man, next question. I, I basically already answered

(10:56):
this, but this is moving towardskind of fitness and training.
Great question. Everyone's got a morning
routine. What's your?
What's yours? So and I have my wife, my
beautiful, amazing, perfect wifelistens to this.
She can attest to this. But one of the things that I
like, I make fun of myself for now when I'm like getting ready,

(11:17):
excuse me for bed or like where we're wrapping up for the night
and I am, I'll make a comment. I was like, well, just setting
myself up for future success tomorrow morning and like I have
started. I started realizing how like,
just like me as a person, I wakeup and like, if I'm going to the
gym early now, like which I'm back in the habit of doing and

(11:38):
it's awesome. Best way to start my day.
Like I'll wake up and it's like,oh, I got to get to the gym like
quick. So everything's in a rush
because that's how my brain is. But like, I have found that
doing like the smallest things to like set yourself up for
again, having a better morning. And that's just like setting up
my, my coffee routine for, you know, so I'm not banging through

(11:58):
jurors and shit at 5:00 in the morning waking everybody up.
And, but like, even that saves me 5 minutes.
But that's 5 minutes in the morning when you're trying to
get a working time before the world's awake feels like an
eternity. I feel like if you're at the
gym, you're like, oh, I got 5 minutes.
That's like 3 more sets with 30 seconds rest in between.
So I got like 40-5 more reps I can do.

(12:19):
Let's go. So.
I'm trying like completely relate.
But you know, my morning routine, the best way that I
can, you know, sum it up now because it doesn't look 100% the
same every morning. But it's starting my day with
intentionality and movement, AKAgoing to the gym and then

(12:39):
realizing how much of A ripple effect that has on on the day
of, you know, getting home as the kids are waking up or when
the kids are waking up and I'm in a much happier and pain free
mood that I would be if I'm justrolling out of bed.
You know, when they are. So definitely that I would say.
Look, one in ten Americans todaystruggle with alcohol use

(13:00):
disorder and I was one of them. Did you know that there is a
safe science backed daily pill that you can take to drink less
or even quit alcohol for good? It's called naltrexone.
A doctor prescribed medication that you get online.
And our sponsor OR Health is thenation's leading provider of
naltrexone. To date OR Health has helped

(13:20):
over 35,000 people find freedom from alcohol and I'm proudly one
of them. To get started, text STRENGTH to
710710. Again, that's STRENGTH to 710710
and get started on your journey to finally find freedom from
alcohol. Yeah, I love it.

(13:41):
What you're essentially saying is like your morning routine
starts the night before. It has to because if not I'll
just be. I feel like I'm a step behind
and that's Nope, not happening anymore.
I'm in control, damn it. That's right.
Happy to hear you're up doing your your morning lifts.
By the way, I know how how important that is to you to set
your day up. Right.
So I agree, man, said I, I thinksomething simple as laying out
your clothes and sometimes even this is so, I don't know,

(14:05):
psychotic maybe. But like I'll even put the
powder from my pre workout in the shaker and yeah it's just
one less thing to do. It is and it's.
It really is. But I think it does start to
think about this like if part ofyour night routine is to get to
bed by a, by a certain time and then, you know, impulse
compulsion, you're scrolling Internet in your bed or
something, and then you're pushing your sleep and then

(14:25):
you're still trying to hit your wake up goal that's going to
Jack you up. So get to bed, do as much as you
can before I already touched on my morning routine is working
Now, granted, I've been doing itfor two weeks because I've only
had a cold plunge for two weeks,But on strength training days, I
just love it. Man up in that thing as fast as
I can. Caffeine, whether sometimes I do
double espresso, sometimes it isa pre workout just on my mood
strength train and then have a goal to get done.

(14:48):
Because then the next part, and I do consider this part of my
morning routine is shut all thatlike me time down and then step
into family time and be helpful getting the kids out the door,
help my wife and just kind of like be part of that, you know,
talk to them, be intentional andtell them you love them.
Have a good day. And then I transition right into
work mode and I'm off for the races.
But the one thing my morning routine is missing is I would

(15:12):
say like mindfulness and that could be through reading or
meditation because both are kindof exercising the same muscle
deep focus. But for now, like I, I got to
tell you, my mornings feel a little cramped.
So to like, I'm down in the coldplunge, caffeine go like to say
like, OK, I'm going to sit for 10 minutes.
And you know, So what I'm tryingto do is in the cold plunge for
that 2 minutes and it's still dark out.

(15:34):
I'm doing breath work and I'm actually just trying to clear my
mind and I just stare at like the dark sky and I just, I, I
got to tell you, I go to a different place.
So for now, that's how I'm getting some mindfulness in the
morning. But I think that is something
that's still lacking for me, whether I'm opening up the Bible
or just reading like 5 pages in a book that I'm reading.
But we'll, we'll see. I'll get there.

(15:55):
I'm still trying to get this cold plunge thing down so.
You're already doing it man. The hard part is getting
started. You checked that off.
Four times this week. Let's go.
Good one here. I think underneath this question
has to do with time management alittle bit, recognizing that
both cardio and strength training are essential for
overall well-rounded fitness. But the question is how do you

(16:16):
balance zone 2 cardio with heavylifting without burning out?
It's a great question and I think unless you're calculated
and strategic about it, you willburn yourself out.
You know, there's been many of workouts that I've, I've walked
away from throwing up when I fully wasn't planning on doing

(16:39):
that. But that is it was a result of
only me, you know, like for instance, my split may have got
messed up because of travel for work or something.
I ended up having to be doing back day on the same day that I
wanted to end with, you know, heavy assault fight sprints.
And you know, stuck to that and said, I'm going to do my normal
back split. And then I'm going to end with
the same type of, you know, highintensity that I typically do

(17:00):
when I'm going for that. And quickly realized that I'm
already taxed and I can't do that.
So I think, and just, we were talking about this at the beach
the other week too, but like understanding that it's whatever
you're doing, you're doing with a different intentionality than
you would be if it was just likea, hey, it's a end of the
workout. I'm going to walk for 25 minutes

(17:22):
on a slow incline. Like you are going to be fully
taxing your central nervous system and your body a little
bit more than you probably have been in the past if you're not
used to it. So it doesn't have to be, I'm
going to go for 99% for 50 seconds and then 10 seconds off
and then jump back into it. Like assess how you're feeling,
assess what your training and your diet looks like.

(17:42):
And then see what kind of adjustments you have to make in
order to be able to still walk away feeling like you achieved
the workout that you wanted to. And, you know, maintain the
intensity in the right zone. But it doesn't have to be balls
to the wall every single workoutin order to feel like you can
walk away saying that was a goodworkout, you know?
Yeah, I agree. I'm going to I'm going to kind
of answer it tactically here because this is this is my life.

(18:05):
This is something Zone 2 is important to me for longevity
and also I strategic to place itearly in the day fasted for fat
loss, so more aesthetics and I wouldn't say heavy lifting is a
goal. I mean, obviously I can't
clarify this question, but heavylifting kind of says to me like
you're almost like a power lifter and maybe you're doing a
lot of like really, really like high effort, high load work.

(18:28):
And I would say this, if you arean athlete who is really focused
on like endurance running and you're investing a lot of time
in that, it is going to be hard to balance strength training
without sacrificing family time,work time, etcetera.
And then conversely, if you're like a competitive power lifter
or you know, whatever, like evenlike bodybuilder maybe, but

(18:49):
you're going to want to invest more of your time there and it's
going to be hard to pick up thatzone two time, which which takes
a while. And I would even say since it's
my show and I can say what I want, I wouldn't focus too much
on like that high effort heavy load lifting because you will
burn out and you know, and you'll get hurt so very quickly.
So assuming you want to balance both and you want to kind of

(19:10):
follow, you know, best practices, I would say, and this
is exactly what I do, I shoot for 90 minutes of zone 2:00
every single week and I'll choose my 2 strength training
sessions that subjectively speaking are the least
difficult. Yeah, exactly.
Upper push hypertrophy day. So chest, shoulders, triceps,

(19:30):
that is an easy workout for me. As much as I want to make it
difficult, it's just not it doesn't tax my central nervous
system. So what I'll do is I'll take
that work out and choose that one and I'll even like introduce
like super sets. I'll reduce the rest periods and
I try to get that strength training done in 45 minutes so
that I have 30 minutes after. Now, granted, that's an hour and
15 minutes, probably a little bit longer, but I sacrificed my

(19:54):
sleep to do it whole nother conversation.
But bottom line is I'll I'll position two of those sessions.
They're each 30 minutes after myeasier strength training
sessions. And then when you get into like
heavy, I'm doing heavy deadlifts.
I'm not running after that because I will burn out and if
I'm hitting like 4 sets of eightwith heavy squats.
I don't do my cardio after that.So if you're trying to get 90

(20:16):
minutes, which is basically recommended as a not a minimum,
but like a sweet spot, yeah, I'll put two of those sessions
at the end of two of my strengthtraining sessions.
And then I have a dedicated day right in the middle of the week.
It's Wednesday where I don't do strength training at all and
I'll do 45 minutes. There you go.
And I think someone other topic and we don't have to dig into
it, but when I look at my heart rate tracker, so I use woop when

(20:40):
I look at that at the end of theweek and I look at my Zone 2, I
just looked at it this morning, it's Friday.
I have 3 hours and 45 minutes ofintentional zone 2 training done
this week. However, I've only done 90
minutes of cardio. Where did the other where did it
come from? My heart rate gets up to zone 2
when I'm strength training and there is some debate and I

(21:00):
haven't looked into it enough toconfirm what's true.
But there is this question to ask of do you get the same
benefits if you're getting into zone 2IN strength training and
just daily life like chasing your kids around?
Is it the same benefit if it's intentional sustained cardio?
And I've heard two different answers I.
Was going to say. It it's tricky, but my point

(21:22):
there is even if you fall short of whatever your weekly goal is
for zone 2, keep in the back of your mind that you might be
getting or picking up that extraZone 2 in just the rest of your
week. So just don't pick yourself up
about it as well. Look.
Life can be hard and stressful sometimes, we all know that.
But when it comes to supplements, why is it that

(21:43):
nobody talks about stress and resilience?
For me, I take the adaptogen stack from Momentous
Supplements. It's a daily blend of
ashwagandha, rhodiola, and L theanine, all clinically backed
to help you stay calm, focused and resilient.
I'm proudly partnered with Momentous Supplements because
they are the industry's best. They don't cut corners,

(22:05):
everything's third party tested,used by pro athletes, and high
quality. Head to livemomentous.com and
use code STRENGTH for 35% off your first order.
Again, that's live momentous.comcode word strength for 35% off
your first order and get startedtoday.

(22:27):
I'm agreed, man. Yeah.
I got to look into that and thenkind of confirm, I think Andy
Galpin, Dr. Galpin was, was kindof trying to hit on this topic
like it does Zone 2 have to be like sustained steady state or
can you just get the benefits elsewise?
Yeah, no, it's a good. I'm sure there there's
definitely argument supporting both sides so.
Yeah. All right, man.
Next one's staying on training. So this one's great.

(22:51):
Question is similar to questionsyou've gotten in the in the
past, but not exactly. Question is, at 40 like me,
should I be training heavy like I did in my 20s or focus more on
mobility and lighter weights? It's a very good question.

(23:14):
I think first response would be,you know, what are you training
for? Like what are your current goals
with everything that you're doing?
Like are you training for to be a marathon athlete?
Or are you training because you want to look good on the beach?
Or are you training because you want to be living a long healthy
life and be around for your kidslater in life?
Like should we be training like we did in our 20s?
One, I hope none of us are stilltraining like we did in our 20s

(23:35):
and that our training evolved a bit.
My training in my 20s is, has myback issues in my mid 30s right
now. So hey, man, I don't think we
should be copying and pasting old habits with that.
But no, I think again, dependingon what your goals are, like,
there's certain things that Jesse and I both talked about a

(23:57):
lot on previous episodes of likewhat I think everybody should be
using as staples in their in their life, from cardio routines
to, you know, strength training.I think both of what you said
should still be part of what your routines are, again,
pending your goals. But should we still be training
somewhat heavy? Yeah.
If you want to progress still, yes.
We should be, you know, trainingsmart and heavy, but also

(24:17):
understanding that we're not going to be moving the same
loads and intensity that we did when we were younger.
That's just the way the human body works.
And that's something that we better all accept sooner than
later. If not, we're going to hear
ourselves. So we're going to have to be,
you know, adjusting our trainingbased off of what phase of life
we're at. Like cardio is going to have to
be a lot more important to us now than it did when we were in

(24:38):
our 20s. And making sure that we're
actually taking care of the things that are making us go
outside of just, you know, how we look in the mirror.
So definitely still be challenging yourself with
strength training and lifting and progressing in terms of load
and load in intensity, but in a way that is, you know, smart and
specific to your goals and your body.

(24:58):
But yeah, you said mobility. That is something I wish I began
including in my 20s and not waiting till I have to start
digging out adhesions that I didn't know existed or should be
there. Yeah, I like that you said.
Challenge. So I'll start with that.
Every time you lift weights, you'd be challenging yourself

(25:18):
and you should be progressively challenging yourself more
because that's how the adaptations that you're seeking
and that's how your muscle grows.
That's how your bones get stronger.
And both muscle mass and bone strength or bone density are
really important for aging. So I think you should be
challenging yourself, You know, like you mobility, what the hell

(25:40):
is that? When I was in my 20s, not a not
even a thought. And like you, I sure wish it
was. So I think this is my answer
would be, should you be trainingheavy like you're in your 20s?
Probably not. Because if you're 40, I would
hope you learn something in in the 10:15, you know, 20 years
since then. And what you probably should
have learned is train safe and hard, right?

(26:04):
So no, you shouldn't be traininglike your 20s.
However, you can train heavy relative to you by challenging
yourself with weights. And I think what's important to
do is as you age, assess the movements that you're doing.
Perfect example that so many people can relate with who have
been squatting with weights for,you know, 10/15/20 years.

(26:24):
Eventually something will break down and there will be people
disagree with this, but eventually putting a heavy
barbell over your spine and squatting deep to the ground
will cause some discomfort and potentially an injury.
My point is, as you age 404550, recognize that you can get not
as much of a stimulation of yourmuscles and as much growth.

(26:47):
But why not take those weights, transition them underneath you
so they're not on your spine andputting pressure on your lower
back and do a belt squat. If your gym has one.
Do a a Bulgarian split squat because you're going to be
hitting the same muscles, but it's going to be safer and you
can lift heavy and challenge yourself that way.
So point there is just question the movements, not necessarily

(27:08):
the goal, right? And on on mobility, I do think
as we age, because you're just putting more tread on the tires
if you're strength training decade after decade, I do think
that you should, as this question has quote, focus more
on mobility than in your 20s because you won't need it as
much when you're younger. But I think mobility needs to be
something that is focused on an intentional, not an

(27:31):
afterthought. And then the last piece, that
question was lighter weights. No, you don't need to do lighter
weights. I think you should set pick a
safe movement, set a Rep range and do the weights that are
appropriate that gets you to that Rep range and then adjust
them accordingly. So you don't have to go into it
like I should lift lighter, you should just always be lifting
what is appropriate for your strength.

(27:53):
Yes, and there's other ways to progress too, rather than just
putting more plates on the bar too.
And I know that's the the meat and mentality of what we think
progression is, but challenge yourself with, you know, how
long you want to be doing eccentrics and concentric
movements. Like don't do 3 seconds down, 3
seconds up. Or let's do you know what range

(28:14):
of motion updates are we making?Are we having any isometric
holds throughout the Rep range? So many different ways that we
can, you know, further challengeour bodies and what our muscles
are adapting to. Then just saying, I got to put
more weight on the bar. It's the only way I'm going to
grow, you know? Exactly.
I think 3 words that I wish I orthree terms I wish I learned and
understood. I think as it relates to

(28:36):
strength training that I understand now that I didn't
Range of motion, time under tension and contraction.
Feeling the muscles that you're intending to work, work.
I think a lot of people are likeme and can relate that for
whatever reason, if I did a bicep curl, I literally felt my

(28:56):
bicep muscle tightening and I felt it contracting.
Doing a barbell bench press, I never felt like my chest fully
contracting, which is an indicator not using that muscle.
So there was times when I could I could do a close grip bench
press and do almost as much weight as a wider grip bench
press. And what does that tell you?

(29:17):
It tells you that my triceps aredoing a lot of the work.
So the point is, I think if you if you focus on more of those,
kind of like less talked about but important aspects, range of
motion, time under tension and contraction, I think you're
going to get those adaptations that you're looking for.
That's just a little side note there as as we age and train.
So yeah, man, I think I'm talking a lot this episode.

(29:37):
I'm. Sorry, No, no, you're doing
good. I don't think that at all.
I just wish it would. Shut up, man.
Thank you. All right, man, I think I speak.
For both of us, but going into kind of our favorite category
here, which is more about lifestyle and parenting.
Yeah, business man. So we're we're going to go back
to alcohol here, but I think this is this is such a such an

(29:59):
awesome question. Question is how do you stop
yourself from using alcohol as an escape when parenting gets
overwhelming? Good Lord.
Yeah, I mean, insert your voice of choice here.
You know, it doesn't just have to be alcohol.
But obviously me personally, youknow, from my answer to this

(30:23):
question is by the grace of hindsight, I'm able to say, you
know, I remember what it almost cost me, you know, trying to to
use that as my justification of like, oh, it's been the kids
have been driving. I haven't slept great in a week.
Like I deserve this drink. And that quickly turns into, you
know, what it turns into? I think we all have to ask, you

(30:44):
know, rather than resorting to what advice can I use to help
myself escape? Like, what are we escaping from?
Like, what is really the issue here?
Is your kid being a child and having struggles going to bed
really what you're that mad about?
Or are you mad because you can'tcontrol your reaction to your
kid being upset at the end of the day because you're already
stressed and emotional from workand not taking care of yourself

(31:05):
and not making time to work out and do the things that help you
unwind and manage your emotions in a way that you're able to
respond to your children's in a way that's not pure anger or
lashing out when they need to bemet with love and empathy and
understanding and where they're at as a kid.
So you know, that was a, a rabbit hole, but I think

(31:27):
understanding what it is, it's actually triggering you and why
you're getting triggered and looking to escape from that.
Because a lot of the times it's easier to say my kid had a
temper tantrum. Like no shit, I deserve a drink
after that. But like, that's not why.
That isn't the reason, you know,like, parenting is hard.
Like, no shit parenting is hard.This is what the fuck we all
signed up for. Like we should not be looking to

(31:49):
escape from the thing that we knew was going to come with the
good nights and the good days and the hard nights and the hard
days and that, yeah, the good and the bad.
But like this, you know, your kids are always watching.
So whether or not your kids at the age to be able to understand
like this daddy drinking, because I'm hard to deal with.
Like think of the president thatyou're setting and I'm as guilty

(32:13):
of it too. I did the same shit.
And like now I'm able to say like, I can't go back to that
and I can't escape from what I created.
Like this is my doing and I'm damned and I'm going to die on
that hill. But ask yourself what you're,
what you're escaping from, and what's actually triggering you.
That that. That's the short answer.
Yeah, it's because overwhelmed or overwhelming is in the

(32:34):
question. I'm going to kind of frame it
around that word and I'm listening to you.
And I think that there's, there's 2 answers here.
There's two steps. It's one.
And you just answered this or, or kind of like in the vein of
this, but like, how do you prevent yourself from getting
overwhelmed in the 1st place? And that's not what this is
asking. This is, this is insinuating I'm
already there. What do I do?

(32:55):
But it is important to ask that question as a, as a kind of by
product of This is why am I overwhelmed?
And then, you know, let those answers guide what you should
do. And we talked about these things
and you just did. But you know, how do you have
the right perspective? How do you structure your day so
that you're better equipped in that moment and in that space to
not get overwhelmed in the 1st place, etcetera, etcetera.

(33:15):
And there's more to that, but I think that's the first thing.
Why am I overwhelmed? And let those answers guide you.
And then the second thing was more to this question is, OK,
I'm overwhelmed. How do I cope with it?
How do I prevent picking up a drink which, you know,
unfortunately it it is effectivein, in coping, right.
So more kind of more in the practical sense.
I think another word that we useoften and I think it needs to be

(33:37):
used more is dysregulated. When I hear overwhelmed and
attach it to parents, I think noise, I think deadlines, I
think all all the things that gointo being dysregulated.
Over stimulated, yeah. Over stimulated.
And I say that to say maybe I'lljust introduce one kind of thing
to think about. There's this, there's this idea
of how do you ground yourself? How do you turn down that noise?

(34:02):
And literally, and in this case,like regulate your nervous
system. And I think assuming it's safe
to do this, I think it is OK to literally physically,
temporarily remove yourself fromwhatever's overwhelming you.
And sometimes you can't, but sometimes you can't.
I'm picturing busy kitchen, you know, cries, fights, all that
stuff. And I think just going in

(34:22):
another physical space and doinglike just close your eyes and
just do like 2 to 3 minutes of, of some breathing and you might
have a mantra. I don't, I'm, I'm just not
something I have. But like if you have a mantra or
something like I'm OK, I'm OK, we're OK.
But I think the physical separation from whatever is over
stimulating you combined with just a little focus and breath
work to just bring your nervous system down is going to give you

(34:45):
enough to step back into that environment and just kind of
push through. And then look, if I'm being
really honest, like at times when, you know, I was a stay at
home dad for 18 months, at timesthat I was just like in my head
anyway, like what the hell? Like this is this is insane.
Like no, no problem being like, all right, you know what guys?
Put on Bluey for 10 minutes, Daddy.

(35:05):
Daddy needs space like Daddy needs space to be vulnerable.
To say that this is hard, I needa minute.
Yep. Put on Bluey, walk in the other
room, bring it back in, go back,go back into the fire.
But I think the physical separation is, is something that
helps. But also, again, if you're
asking yourself this question, you're using alcohol as a tool.

(35:26):
And I think, you know, it would be much easier in that moment to
to work on that habit as well onthe side, you know?
So yeah, Yeah, man. 100%. Next question related Sort of
somewhat funny here, but what isharder, putting up with toddler
tantrums or finishing a heavy squat set?

(35:48):
Depends on the day, but nine times out of 10 I'm going to say
those that those toddler tantrums leave more of a lasting
burn than a. Scarring, even injury.
Yeah, some permanent muscular damage.
So you're going toddler tantrums.
I'm going toddler tantrums. Yeah, 100% I think.

(36:08):
Yeah, they give me bloody. Yeah, because a heavy squat set
is a minute. I look forward to that pain.
Yeah, you know. Go ahead, Sorry.
I know that's the other kind, that's that's an emotional
trauma that you're walking away with from that tantrum.
Yeah, I think based on the duration of the pain or

(36:30):
discomfort, I'll take a happy squat set over a 35 minute
toddler tangent, by the way, followed by the rest of the day,
that toddler being exhausted andornery and illogical.
Crazy. Whole day shot man, might as
well just go back to bed and start over.
I know dude. Heavy squats that I'm big on
being able to. If it's self-inflicted pain,
like I I caused it, I can sleep with it.

(36:52):
But if it's if it's a toddler tantrum that throws off the
entire course of the day. And it usually happen on
weekends too, like when you got something fun planned, it's
like, I guess we're not fucking doing that anymore.
Right, right. Or when you spend $200 on
Colorado Rockies tickets and do all the planning and preparing,
you put it in a calendar two months out.

(37:12):
You drive an hour, you show up to the stadium and your son
dumps a freaking slushy on the stranger sitting in front of him
and then gets pissed off at me because I'm telling me can't
have this slushy. Yeah, give me the tools to to
deal with that. Put me under the heaviest squat
bar that was ever created. I don't.
Crushes me into the ground, putsme in the hospital.
I don't. Want to get back up from

(37:33):
underneath this bar dude? No way.
I'll say though, man, like, you know, I, I plan my workouts out
like you do, and I know, like, you know, week 4, I'm going to
be. Sending it as all the young kids
say, but I I'm looking at like, you know, next week's like lower
body workout and if I know I'm going to to try to get under
like a four. Rep near maximal squat like I'm

(37:53):
I'm thinking. About that, I'm like, man,
that's kind of yeah. I do that stuff that like the
night before, like if I know that's my next workout, that's
all I'm thinking about. And that's about me problem,
100% of me problem. But like, my brain's like shit.
Like, what are you gonna do? Like, you think I'm gonna be
able to squeeze out one more? Am I gonna get one less?
Like this is gonna determine howthe rest of the day goes,
Justin. Even like when I get to that

(38:14):
workout I know like I'm gonna have 4 heavy sets like.
I'm like digging around, like procrastinating, yeah.
I mean, just Gee, I don't know if this song isn't cutting it
today because he's just. Trying to delay the thing.
After the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I guess we're still not following our advice and we're
still training heavy at 40. We're headed this part out of
the episode. Man, I can't, I can't help

(38:37):
myself. But yeah, all right, so that's,
that's pretty straightforward there.
Consensus. I'll take a I'll take a heavy
squat over a tantrum any day, Man, man.
All right, Cool. Last, Last.
Question and a deep one. I love it.
What's 1 habit every parent should try to model for their

(38:58):
kids? Just one.
Yeah, it's asking for one, but come on, you can give, you know,
we'll cap it at three if you want.
I think I I shared this either on one of the most recent
episode or when we were together, I can't remember which
one. But to sum up, like the leg, one

(39:20):
of the legacy I want to leave, like to my kids and everything,
like as a dad, like I want them to be able to say, like I want
them to be able to look back andsay Daddy was always there.
And that looks like a couple different things.
I think like it's. Yeah.
Is it easy to just physically bethere?
Yeah. But that doesn't necessarily
mean you're actually there. And that's something we talk
about a lot. So I think being consistent is

(39:43):
one I'm going to now I'm going to cut it at 3.
Being consistent, being intentional and being present.
I would say those are those are the three ingredients to the
model and or legacy that I want to, you know, ensure that my
kids are always able to confidently say those are three
things that daddy always did. And you know, he was always

(40:04):
consistent and he was always intentional with us and was met
us where we're at. You know, he was able to get
down to our level. And he was always really there,
you know, He wasn't distracted. He wasn't on his phone the whole
time, you know. Yeah.
So I think ultimately all three and those three combined to
showing love and yeah, making them feel valued.

(40:25):
That's all they want, man. That's all they want.
It was consistent, intentional and present.
Yeah, OK, OK, I so I won't use all of those.
And this is hard because it sayswhat's 1 habit?
I already didn't answer the question right, so no.
You did, you did, but it it's like it, it doesn't say what is
the most important. It just says what is 1 habit

(40:46):
every day. Every parent should model.
I don't know. I don't know if there's one word
for this. I'm just going to try to
describe it and it and it is hard, Justin, It's like, how do
you pick 1? So I'm just going to preface
like this is one of maybe like the Mount Rushmore of maybe 4
and but I won't mention the other three.
But I think what I'm, what I, I,I never in my family growing up,

(41:07):
I never learned how to deal withconflict in a healthy way.
It wasn't modeled. You know, I grew up in a, a
divorced household. So I got to kind of see two
different sets of parenting. And I think it wasn't, I'm
trying to figure out how to, howto say this, but there was some

(41:28):
passive aggressiveness. There was conflict that existed
that everybody knew deep down, but it wasn't addressed and it
and that's not healthy. And I think as a, as a family,
right. So you have a family of four.
I have a family of five. There's going to be conflicts
every single day. And without using words as
parents, both between spouses, if it's two spouses parenting or

(41:50):
single house or whatever, but assuming it's like 2 parents in
the household, they're watching how you do conflict?
Do you raise your voice? Do you scream?
Do you apologize? Do you come back around so that
you can say, you know, I got that wrong, etcetera.
But even as parents with our kids, I think it's so important
to model for them. Yeah, how you're going to kind
of like, cuz every time you discipline a kid, that's a

(42:11):
conflict, right? It is, yeah.
And I think if I can, you know, the question is model.
Yeah, model. It's like I, I'm, I hope and if
my wife is listening that she would agree with this.
But I'm intentional about this and I think I'm good at it.
I apologize to my kids. Yeah, yeah, yes, it's.
Important if I lose my temper orif I give them advice, guidance,

(42:32):
whatever, and then afterwards I realize that it was wrong, I
make sure that I go back and I tell them that sometimes I'll
actually intentionally, you know, that they're asking to do
something. I don't want them to do it.
I'm not like I don't get so stubborn in my own head that
like no, I can't show them that I said this and this is it.
I'll be flexible sometimes and let them like state their case

(42:52):
as to why they think what they think is right.
And then I'll say, OK, that's fine.
But ultimately there's this ideain my head of like, OK, if we
have a conflict, if we address it openly with words, don't lose
our tempers, communicate it and then apologize if we're wrong.
I I think helping them learn howto do human relationships in a
healthy way, including conflict,is going to set them up to be

(43:15):
successful human beings. Because let's face it, you're
going to have fights, disagreements, you're going to
offend people, people will offend you, especially when you
get into the workspace and all that stuff.
And I've had to learn the hard way, like how to like if I'm, if
I'm feeling offended or if I'm feeling something, how do I
communicate it in a healthy way?How do I receive constructive
criticism without being defensive?

(43:36):
How do I apologize? How do I forgive whatever the
friggin word is for that speech?Like I feel like that would be a
habit. It's healthy communication, but
more specifically, healthy, healthy conflict.
Yeah, I like that. And it's also, you know, taking
accountability and, you know, showing that mommy and daddy can
apologize too. And like you said, setting them

(43:57):
up for that and show and living being the example that they need
for that because, you know, that's I think that's insanely
important. And Alyssa and I try and model
that as well. So it was easy, but you know,
we're not going to be able to apologize to them how they're
going to be able to apologize toeach other or somebody else when
it comes to a conflict or something that they did or
didn't do wrong. But no, I love that man Super.
Maybe it's humility, I don't know.

(44:19):
There's there's a word or whatever I just said, but that's
what it is. Yeah, Yeah, All right, dude.
Awesome questions. This one.
As always, deep fun, fitness in there, some habits, all that
stuff. But if you're listening and you
have questions, you can go to our website, runningfreepod.com.
There's a form there to submit your questions.
You can DM us on any of our social accounts wherever you

(44:40):
follow us. So as always, thank you, Justin
for being here and thank everybody for listening.
Thank you as always. And yes, thank you listeners.
Until next time. All right everybody, that's the
show. Folks.
Thank you so much for tuning into this podcast and spending
some time with us today. We've got a favor to ask.
If you enjoyed the show, would you please consider subscribing

(45:02):
to the show and even leaving a rating and review?
That simple act drastically helps us reach more people in
our mission to help them live better, longer.
Healthier lives. You can also follow us if you'd
like on Instagram and YouTube for regular tips and motivation
around mental health, addiction,and so much more.

(45:23):
Know that your support fuels ourbrand and is greatly
appreciated, so until next time,stay strong.
And live deep.

All Episodes

Lifting Heavy at 40, Cold Plunges, Supplements & Surviving Toddler Tantrums | Ask Us Anything Vol. 4

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Stuff You Should Know

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Lifting Heavy at 40, Cold Plunges, Supplements & Surviving Toddler Tantrums | Ask Us Anything Vol. 4