April 7, 2025 • 21 mins
What happens when cultural obsession with youth collides with Christian values? Turning 45 has me thinking deeply about aging in a society where Americans outspend the entire world on anti-aging products and procedures. This deeply personal episode explores the crossroads many women face when staring at new wrinkles in the mirror or scrolling through filtered social media perfection.
After years of prayer and reflection, I'm sharing the five compelling reasons behind my commitment to age gracefully - from avoiding all-consuming beauty pursuits to modeling authentic womanhood for my daughters. We'll tackle some uncomfortable questions: Are our beauty decisions driven by insecurity or cultural pressure? Are we investing more in our appearance than our relationship with God? And what message are we sending to younger women watching our choices?
The aging journey isn't always smooth - I openly share my struggles with changing appearance and moments of temptation to pursue interventions. Yet there's profound freedom in finding contentment with our natural selves. Whether you're young and already feeling the pressure to "prevent" aging, or further along wondering what measures to take, this conversation offers thoughtful guidance without judgment.
Join me as we explore what Scripture says about true beauty, the power of contentment, and finding peace in each stage of life. As we navigate these waters together, remember: life doesn't end when we no longer look twenty, and there's beauty waiting to be discovered in every season.
❤️
Andrea
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to Sacred Calling.
I'm Andrea Nutt, bringingencouragement and truth as we
talk through relevant topics weas Christian women, wives and
mothers often face.
Let's get to it.
Today we're going to talk aboutaging, and this is a really
tough topic.
It's one that I want to presentdelicately, but I strongly
(00:43):
believe that we should betalking about it and thinking
through this topic, especiallyas Christian women.
Did you know, americans are theare the top spenders on skincare
, cosmetics, anti-aging,anti-aging procedures and
plastic surgeries.
American women and some menspend far more than any other
country in the world on theirappearance.
(01:04):
That says quite a lot aboutwhere our focus is, and I'm
about to turn 45 and I have beenand I continue to think through
, you know, the choices that Iwant to make and for me, I am
committing to certain boundariesfor myself and, if I'm honest,
I'm struggling at times with thewhole aging process.
And the reason I believe it'simportant to be thinking through
(01:28):
our decisions regarding what wewant to choose to do as we age
is because, if we haven't givenit prayerful and careful
consideration, we are far morelikely to make these really big,
important decisions based onour feelings and, believe me,
there are a lot of feelingshappening right In this stage of
(01:50):
the game.
Like hormones, we're looking inthe mirror.
We don't like what we see, welook different, we don't
recognize ourselves.
We look at old pictures, wecompare ourselves to those that
we see on social media inHollywood and we, frankly, as
women, have so much pressure tolook a certain way.
And as I've gotten older, andso have the women in my life, my
(02:13):
friends, my family, colleaguesyou know the woman that I see at
the grocery store or onFacebook.
I have witnessed quite a fewdoing just about anything to
stop or slow down the agingprocess.
And at times, truthfully, Imyself have gotten caught up in
the idea of doing something.
(02:33):
I've contemplated procedures orI've Googled stuff and I've
even talked things over with myhusband.
But over the past five yearsI've prayed and thought a lot
about what I want to do, movingforward, what my personal
decision is, and it is to I'vecommitted to aging gracefully.
What does that mean?
It means that I'm embracing thenatural process of aging.
(02:57):
I'm trying to have a positiveattitude, focusing on well-being
and my health and finding joyin each stage of life,
essentially being okay with andcontent with where I'm at and
whatever my body is doing andbeing gracious to myself Like
it's okay, it's not the end ofthe world and it's nothing that
(03:17):
I can do to stop it, it's notsomething that is my fault.
Like this is just normal.
It's my fault, this is justnormal.
And so many of you you know youare in that same stage or you
will soon be at those crossroadsyourselves and you're going to
have to determine what you'll doand how far you'll go.
However, this podcast episodeisn't strictly for those that
(03:38):
are getting older.
A lot of the younger generationare doing stuff in the name of,
you know, preventative measuresor to enhance areas that they
want to see improvement or toenhance their beauty, and so
this podcast is.
This episode is for essentiallyanyone concerned at all with
(03:59):
their appearance, and I'm prettysure that's all of us.
Now, I know, with everythingthere is a spectrum, right,
there are extreme cases, thereare people who are taking
extreme measures, you know, allthe way to the other end.
We've got moderate and mild tosome people doing absolutely
nothing, and I'm not here totell you what's right for you,
(04:20):
but if we take an honest lookaround a culture, it is getting
out of hand and we need to becareful not to fall in too deep,
not to get sucked into whateveryone else is doing, and so
my goal for today is to sharewith you the top reasons that I
came to that really influencedmy decision to accept what's
(04:44):
happening, and I'm hoping that Imaybe help someone else as you
process, as maybe you'relearning to accept that we're
all going to get older, thatultimately, we can chase after
the fountain of youth, which hasbeen a quest that many humans
have made, probably for all oftime, and we've never found it
right.
(05:05):
There's a legend that a Spanishexplorer, in Conquistador,
landed in Florida in 1513 insearch of a magical spring that
would grant eternal youth, andnow historians aren't in
agreement as to whether this istrue or if it's a myth, but I
don't doubt that if someonebelieved something like that
(05:26):
existed, they would cross oceansto find it.
And I'm not here to put mypersonal convictions onto you.
I'm here to share where Ilanded on this issue, based on,
like I said, lots of thoughts,prayer and also a lot of
observations of our culture andhow it defines beauty, and so
(05:46):
today I just want to highlightfive of my kind of main reasons.
I'm seeking contentment inwherever I'm at in the aging
process, and none of these arerules for Christian living.
But when we seek to know whatthe Bible says about specific
areas, we can glean truths thatwould help us inform our
decisions and the way that welive our lives.
(06:08):
And the Bible is clear thattrue beauty isn't on the outside
, that it isn't what God looksupon when he looks at us, and
that the outward appearanceshouldn't be our primary focus.
You know, we've heard it saidforever that it's what's on the
inside that counts.
So enough of that.
Let's get into my five mainreasons that I've made the
(06:30):
commitment to age gracefully,and why.
Now, some of these might seemsilly to you.
They might be like that's yourreason.
Just bear with me.
I promise it will make sense atthe end.
But number one is I personallysee that it becomes all
(06:51):
consuming, right, it takes up somuch headspace.
Not only that, but it costs alot of money, and what I observe
is it never seems to be enough.
And, as with anything, too muchis generally not a good thing.
And I can only speculate that,if you're chasing after youth
(07:12):
and beauty, that it mightincrease insecurities.
Right, it might be why there'salways that sort of next thing
you see something else, oh Ineed to take care of this,
something to fix, or the nextthing to try, and I can see how
dangerous this could be, evenfor me personally, and frankly I
already let this stuff occupytoo much headspace.
(07:34):
As it is so to be safe andcautious, I just refuse to even
go there.
It is so to be safe andcautious, I just refuse to even
go there.
Number two as a mom, I thinkit's important to model for my
girls what true beauty is andwhat's most important, and we
have lots of conversations and Idon't want them to get swept up
in it all.
And how many of us, you know,got caught up in one of the
(07:59):
newest trends?
How many of them do we lookback and we go oh, why did I do
that?
We have such regret, like like.
For example, if you're a childof the nineties, you likely
regret plucking the heck out ofyour eyebrows.
I tell my girls all the timethat being them in their most
natural form, their eyebrows,however God made them, is never
(08:23):
going to go out of style.
So don't fall into the trap ofwhat the current culture says is
beautiful, because it willchange and when it does, you are
likely going to be left withsome regret, and I also believe
that it's important that, as Iam desiring to instill these
values, also believe that it'simportant that, as I am desiring
to instill these value values,right, I want my girls to to see
(08:44):
themselves as just beautifulbeings inside and out, just how
God created them, and I'mwanting them to focus on their
inner beauty.
That I need to be modeling forthem, this unwavering commitment
to myself.
You you know these, you knowthat what I value, and if I'm
committing to that to them, itspeaks volumes.
(09:04):
And as a mom, we should nothave this, you know, do as I say
, not as I do approach, becauseour girls are watching and they
are taking notes.
Now number three.
This one might seem really dumbto you, but it is a very, very
real reason for me.
I am a very honest person and Iremember in my 20s I got
(09:29):
colored contacts.
It was all the rage.
Someone complimented me on myeyes.
I felt the need to admit thatthey were not my real eye color.
Or when I used to tanobsessively and someone would
say how great I looked, I would,I wouldn't feel comfortable,
(09:50):
like not saying something.
It just felt deceptive and soI'd have to like say, oh, I'm,
I'm wearing contacts.
I'm not sure why I feel thisway, but I do and it's, it's.
I feel like I should saysomething for me and so I don't
want to get stuff done.
I don't want to get extensionsor facelift because someone's
likely going to bring it up,they're going to compliment me
(10:11):
on something and I'm going tofeel the need to explain it.
And I know not everyone hasthis conflict, but man, I sure
do.
And it is just another reason Idon't want to do anything.
And, like I said, that mightseem really silly to you but it
really is legit, like one of mymain reasons for not.
I don't want to explain that.
I don't want to explain my,what I've done to people.
(10:34):
I don't want to talk about it.
Number four as a Christian, Idon't believe that I should
focus on my outward beauty.
You know most of us have heardof the Proverbs 31 woman.
She is praised not for herphysical beauty but for her
strength and virtue and wisdom.
And Proverbs 31, 30 emphasizesthat outward appearances and
(10:56):
superficial traits are temporary, that outward appearances and
superficial traits are temporaryand they can be misleading,
while our true worth lies in ourinner qualities and a life
lived in reverence and obedienceto God.
And the description of thiswoman is a reminder that we
(11:17):
should focus on character,integrity, genuine virtue, and
to value what's inside a personand to seek God's wisdom and
guidance in our lives.
Those should be the things thatwe're focusing on.
And in 1 Peter, chapter 3, heinstructs wives to have a
similar focus, particularlythose with unbelieving husbands,
as a way to witness to them.
When he says in verses 3through 4, do not let your
adorning be external thebraiding of hair and the putting
(11:40):
on of gold jewelry or theclothing you wear but let your
adorning be the hidden person ofthe heart, with the
imperishable beauty of a gentleand quiet spirit which, in God's
sight, is very precious.
That's amazing.
He's saying you're focusing onthese inner qualities, these
character traits.
If your heart is being changedand you're focusing on these
inner qualities, these charactertraits, if your, if your heart
(12:01):
is being changed and you'rebeing sanctified, your husband's
going to be, he's going to seethat, he's going to be attracted
to that, it's going to witnessto him far more than your
external beauty.
And now neither of thesepassages are saying that beauty
is a bad thing.
It's just pointing out whereour priority should be, what our
central focus should be asChristian women and, ultimately,
(12:23):
the impact that we can have ifwe shift our focus on those
right things.
Number five as a person who hasworked hard to live a healthier
lifestyle, when it comes to thefood that we're eating as a
family my household cleaners youknow I'm avoiding what I can.
That's toxic.
It's everywhere we don't useplastic.
(12:45):
There's a lot of changes I'vemade in the last five years and
I don't believe that a lot ofthe things that are out there
that are supposed to enhance ourappearance are good for us, and
I think that, as we all know,that it takes time until we see
(13:08):
just the evidence of theconsequences and problems that
arise from these things, and Idon't doubt that there are a lot
of unwanted side effects ornegative impacts that happen to
our bodies when we're injectingthings or doing things and
taking these drastic measures.
I mean take breast implantillness.
(13:28):
I personally known severalwomen who have had to get their
implants removed because theywere the cause of a whole host
of medical issues, and when Ilook at things like Botox.
You know, knowing that, whatmuscles do when they're not in
use they atrophy.
Essentially, they're shrinkingand they're weakening, and I
(13:49):
really believe that Botox islikely causing more issues under
the surface as it relates toaging, and probably increasing
the need for additional thingslike fillers, because your face
is likely experiencing long-termatrophy and that is not natural
and I'm guessing it's not agood idea.
I'm just looking at thesethings logically.
(14:11):
I'm not a scientist, but I cansee, you know, patterns
throughout.
You know, even just in mylifetime, where things were
introduced that we laterdetermined like did more harm
than good.
And so, as a me personally, Ijust want to be careful and as
I've gotten older and I've triedreally hard to live a life that
is healthy and free of as manyharmful or unnatural substances
(14:33):
as possible, and so, for thisreason, I have a strong personal
conviction about doing thingsor putting things into my body
that go against you know what Ivalue, what I've worked really
hard to do in our family and,like I said, you might think
these things are silly and youmay have a different list of
reasons, but the important thingis that we are making lists and
(14:57):
weighing out our decisions andthinking through and praying
about and seeking to desire thatwhich God desires.
And so my top five.
It's not meant to be anexhaustive list, it's not even
all the reasons why I don't dowhat I do, but and it's not even
one for you to live by.
But hopefully it just helps youknow, get you know.
(15:18):
You started right, even ifyou're just start asking
yourself some questions, and soI came up with some questions
that you might ask yourself asyou spend time examining you
know what you, what you value,what God desires for you, what
your motivations are for some ofthe decisions that you're
making or wanting to make.
So here's some questions.
Is this societal pressure or aself-esteem issue?
(15:40):
Yeah, does this line up with myvalues and with my faith?
Is my desire for this rooted ina healthy sense of self or
rooted in insecurities?
Am I doing this in the hopesthat it will fix some other
issue, for example, a lack ofintimacy in my marriage?
What are the benefits?
What are the risks?
(16:01):
Am I putting superficial needsabove other needs?
Am I doing this based on acultural standard of beauty or a
genuine desire to changesomething that affects my
overall well-being?
Who in my life is watching mydecisions and will potentially
follow in my footsteps.
How does this affect myfinancial situation and will it
(16:23):
burden our family?
Affect my financial situationand will it burden our family?
Have I done all that I can, oram I looking for a quick fix,
and a really tough one?
Am I putting more effort intomy outward appearance than I am?
In growing as a Christian and inmy relationship with God, I do
believe we should be taking careof ourselves.
I believe we should take pridein the way that God created us
(16:47):
as women, as, however that is,for each of us it looks
different, and so one of theways that there's a lot of
things that I do I don't justwear sweats all day and not take
a shower and put makeup on.
I love looking pretty.
My favorite thing is to weardresses, but one of the things
(17:10):
that I've committed to is doingwhat I can, naturally, and so
there are some things that werereally important to me.
One of the things when I goingback to that question um, oh,
what was it?
Um, oh, what was it?
(17:31):
Hold on, I just had it.
Oh, it was something.
Oh, I know it was.
Am I doing this based on acultural standard of beauty or a
genuine desire to changesomething that affects my
overall well-being.
And one of the things thatgenuinely affected how I felt
about myself was my teeth, andso I had a strong desire to
(17:56):
invest my money and my time inInvisalign treatments, and that
was really important to me.
I wanted to have nice teeth.
I did not like what I saw inpictures.
I felt very self-conscious.
It was, you know, it's one ofthose things that a lot of
people deal with.
I get it, it's not, it was.
(18:17):
It was a big deal to me and Ifelt like it was a natural thing
that I could change.
That wasn't going to, you know,taking extreme measures.
But when I finished with thetreatment, the orthodontist then
offered me teeth bleaching andoh my gosh, I was so tempted
because here I had this verystraight smile, beautiful, you
(18:37):
know, wide smile, and I reallywanted to get the teeth
bleaching.
And I had to ask myself doesthis align with my commitments?
And, fortunately for me, I haverelatively white teeth.
It's something that peoplecomment on and I kind of went
back to that If I bleach them,people are going to say
something, that I'm going tohave to say something.
(18:57):
But once that offer was on thetable, it just seemed that my
beautifully straight teeth werenot enough.
I needed more.
Right, this discontentment withmy smile crept in.
But I also knew it went againstmy non-toxic, healthy lifestyle
.
So, after wrestling with it, Ilet that idea go.
And you know what?
(19:18):
I am so stinking happy with myteeth.
I no longer look in the mirrorand think, oh, I wish they were
whiter, I need to bleach them.
I love them.
They're beautiful just the way.
I no longer look in the mirrorand and think, oh, I wish they
were whiter, I need to bleachthem, I love them.
They're beautiful just the waythey are.
They're no longer crooked.
That's amazing.
And so, as I've practicedcontentment, I've learned to
focus less on what I don't like,and it it's not always easy.
(19:39):
It's up and down, right,there's things that come up and
you got to really work throughthem, but I can appreciate the
way that God made me and it'ssomething that that contentment
is something to be practiced.
We have to take our thoughtscaptive.
We have to continually speaktruth to ourselves, and when you
find contentment in somethinglike when I let go of the idea
(20:01):
that I need to bleach my teeth,there's just so much more peace
and freedom in that.
And can I just say like I havereally good days and bad days,
or maybe not bad days, but likereally hard moments, like the
struggle is real.
It is not easy to get older.
It is not easy to lookdifferent, to know what's ahead,
(20:25):
and it's not fun, I get it, butit doesn't have to take us out.
Life isn't over just because weno longer look like we're 20.
And I want to end hereencouraging all the older women
in my life that are aginggracefully.
I find it so refreshing to seeyour natural beauty, your laugh
lines and your gray hair andjust seeing you with your
(20:48):
grandkids in this new stage oflife.
I never look at you and think,wow, she should do something.
Wow, she's looking old.
You are beautiful just the wayyou are.
Let's celebrate getting olderinstead of looking at it as a
curse.
And that goes for the youngwomen that are fearful of aging
and trying to do all they can toprevent it.
It's going to be all right.
(21:09):
There's other things to lookforward to.
Life is still meaningful, it isstill wonderful.
And to the woman strugglingwith insecurities and the
pressure to look a certain wayyou are beautiful, just the way
you are, I promise.
Thanks for tuning in.
I pray you feel inspired tolive out your unique and sacred
calling.
Until next time, remember youserve a God who is bigger than
(21:34):
all that comes your way.
Thank you.
Welcome to Sacred Calling.
I'm Andrea Nutt, bringingencouragement and truth as we
talk through relevant topics weas Christian women, wives and
mothers often face.
Let's get to it.
Today we're going to talk aboutaging, and this is a really
tough topic.
It's one that I want to presentdelicately, but I strongly
(00:43):
believe that we should betalking about it and thinking
through this topic, especiallyas Christian women.
Did you know, americans are theare the top spenders on skincare
, cosmetics, anti-aging,anti-aging procedures and
plastic surgeries.
American women and some menspend far more than any other
country in the world on theirappearance.
(01:04):
That says quite a lot aboutwhere our focus is, and I'm
about to turn 45 and I have beenand I continue to think through
, you know, the choices that Iwant to make and for me, I am
committing to certain boundariesfor myself and, if I'm honest,
I'm struggling at times with thewhole aging process.
And the reason I believe it'simportant to be thinking through
(01:28):
our decisions regarding what wewant to choose to do as we age
is because, if we haven't givenit prayerful and careful
consideration, we are far morelikely to make these really big,
important decisions based onour feelings and, believe me,
there are a lot of feelingshappening right In this stage of
(01:50):
the game.
Like hormones, we're looking inthe mirror.
We don't like what we see, welook different, we don't
recognize ourselves.
We look at old pictures, wecompare ourselves to those that
we see on social media inHollywood and we, frankly, as
women, have so much pressure tolook a certain way.
And as I've gotten older, andso have the women in my life, my
(02:13):
friends, my family, colleaguesyou know the woman that I see at
the grocery store or onFacebook.
I have witnessed quite a fewdoing just about anything to
stop or slow down the agingprocess.
And at times, truthfully, Imyself have gotten caught up in
the idea of doing something.
(02:33):
I've contemplated procedures orI've Googled stuff and I've
even talked things over with myhusband.
But over the past five yearsI've prayed and thought a lot
about what I want to do, movingforward, what my personal
decision is, and it is to I'vecommitted to aging gracefully.
What does that mean?
It means that I'm embracing thenatural process of aging.
(02:57):
I'm trying to have a positiveattitude, focusing on well-being
and my health and finding joyin each stage of life,
essentially being okay with andcontent with where I'm at and
whatever my body is doing andbeing gracious to myself Like
it's okay, it's not the end ofthe world and it's nothing that
(03:17):
I can do to stop it, it's notsomething that is my fault.
Like this is just normal.
It's my fault, this is justnormal.
And so many of you you know youare in that same stage or you
will soon be at those crossroadsyourselves and you're going to
have to determine what you'll doand how far you'll go.
However, this podcast episodeisn't strictly for those that
(03:38):
are getting older.
A lot of the younger generationare doing stuff in the name of,
you know, preventative measuresor to enhance areas that they
want to see improvement or toenhance their beauty, and so
this podcast is.
This episode is for essentiallyanyone concerned at all with
(03:59):
their appearance, and I'm prettysure that's all of us.
Now, I know, with everythingthere is a spectrum, right,
there are extreme cases, thereare people who are taking
extreme measures, you know, allthe way to the other end.
We've got moderate and mild tosome people doing absolutely
nothing, and I'm not here totell you what's right for you,
(04:20):
but if we take an honest lookaround a culture, it is getting
out of hand and we need to becareful not to fall in too deep,
not to get sucked into whateveryone else is doing, and so
my goal for today is to sharewith you the top reasons that I
came to that really influencedmy decision to accept what's
(04:44):
happening, and I'm hoping that Imaybe help someone else as you
process, as maybe you'relearning to accept that we're
all going to get older, thatultimately, we can chase after
the fountain of youth, which hasbeen a quest that many humans
have made, probably for all oftime, and we've never found it
right.
(05:05):
There's a legend that a Spanishexplorer, in Conquistador,
landed in Florida in 1513 insearch of a magical spring that
would grant eternal youth, andnow historians aren't in
agreement as to whether this istrue or if it's a myth, but I
don't doubt that if someonebelieved something like that
(05:26):
existed, they would cross oceansto find it.
And I'm not here to put mypersonal convictions onto you.
I'm here to share where Ilanded on this issue, based on,
like I said, lots of thoughts,prayer and also a lot of
observations of our culture andhow it defines beauty, and so
(05:46):
today I just want to highlightfive of my kind of main reasons.
I'm seeking contentment inwherever I'm at in the aging
process, and none of these arerules for Christian living.
But when we seek to know whatthe Bible says about specific
areas, we can glean truths thatwould help us inform our
decisions and the way that welive our lives.
(06:08):
And the Bible is clear thattrue beauty isn't on the outside
, that it isn't what God looksupon when he looks at us, and
that the outward appearanceshouldn't be our primary focus.
You know, we've heard it saidforever that it's what's on the
inside that counts.
So enough of that.
Let's get into my five mainreasons that I've made the
(06:30):
commitment to age gracefully,and why.
Now, some of these might seemsilly to you.
They might be like that's yourreason.
Just bear with me.
I promise it will make sense atthe end.
But number one is I personallysee that it becomes all
(06:51):
consuming, right, it takes up somuch headspace.
Not only that, but it costs alot of money, and what I observe
is it never seems to be enough.
And, as with anything, too muchis generally not a good thing.
And I can only speculate that,if you're chasing after youth
(07:12):
and beauty, that it mightincrease insecurities.
Right, it might be why there'salways that sort of next thing
you see something else, oh Ineed to take care of this,
something to fix, or the nextthing to try, and I can see how
dangerous this could be, evenfor me personally, and frankly I
already let this stuff occupytoo much headspace.
(07:34):
As it is so to be safe andcautious, I just refuse to even
go there.
It is so to be safe andcautious, I just refuse to even
go there.
Number two as a mom, I thinkit's important to model for my
girls what true beauty is andwhat's most important, and we
have lots of conversations and Idon't want them to get swept up
in it all.
And how many of us, you know,got caught up in one of the
(07:59):
newest trends?
How many of them do we lookback and we go oh, why did I do
that?
We have such regret, like like.
For example, if you're a childof the nineties, you likely
regret plucking the heck out ofyour eyebrows.
I tell my girls all the timethat being them in their most
natural form, their eyebrows,however God made them, is never
(08:23):
going to go out of style.
So don't fall into the trap ofwhat the current culture says is
beautiful, because it willchange and when it does, you are
likely going to be left withsome regret, and I also believe
that it's important that, as Iam desiring to instill these
values, also believe that it'simportant that, as I am desiring
to instill these value values,right, I want my girls to to see
(08:44):
themselves as just beautifulbeings inside and out, just how
God created them, and I'mwanting them to focus on their
inner beauty.
That I need to be modeling forthem, this unwavering commitment
to myself.
You you know these, you knowthat what I value, and if I'm
committing to that to them, itspeaks volumes.
(09:04):
And as a mom, we should nothave this, you know, do as I say
, not as I do approach, becauseour girls are watching and they
are taking notes.
Now number three.
This one might seem really dumbto you, but it is a very, very
real reason for me.
I am a very honest person and Iremember in my 20s I got
(09:29):
colored contacts.
It was all the rage.
Someone complimented me on myeyes.
I felt the need to admit thatthey were not my real eye color.
Or when I used to tanobsessively and someone would
say how great I looked, I would,I wouldn't feel comfortable,
(09:50):
like not saying something.
It just felt deceptive and soI'd have to like say, oh, I'm,
I'm wearing contacts.
I'm not sure why I feel thisway, but I do and it's, it's.
I feel like I should saysomething for me and so I don't
want to get stuff done.
I don't want to get extensionsor facelift because someone's
likely going to bring it up,they're going to compliment me
(10:11):
on something and I'm going tofeel the need to explain it.
And I know not everyone hasthis conflict, but man, I sure
do.
And it is just another reason Idon't want to do anything.
And, like I said, that mightseem really silly to you but it
really is legit, like one of mymain reasons for not.
I don't want to explain that.
I don't want to explain my,what I've done to people.
(10:34):
I don't want to talk about it.
Number four as a Christian, Idon't believe that I should
focus on my outward beauty.
You know most of us have heardof the Proverbs 31 woman.
She is praised not for herphysical beauty but for her
strength and virtue and wisdom.
And Proverbs 31, 30 emphasizesthat outward appearances and
(10:56):
superficial traits are temporary, that outward appearances and
superficial traits are temporaryand they can be misleading,
while our true worth lies in ourinner qualities and a life
lived in reverence and obedienceto God.
And the description of thiswoman is a reminder that we
(11:17):
should focus on character,integrity, genuine virtue, and
to value what's inside a personand to seek God's wisdom and
guidance in our lives.
Those should be the things thatwe're focusing on.
And in 1 Peter, chapter 3, heinstructs wives to have a
similar focus, particularlythose with unbelieving husbands,
as a way to witness to them.
When he says in verses 3through 4, do not let your
adorning be external thebraiding of hair and the putting
(11:40):
on of gold jewelry or theclothing you wear but let your
adorning be the hidden person ofthe heart, with the
imperishable beauty of a gentleand quiet spirit which, in God's
sight, is very precious.
That's amazing.
He's saying you're focusing onthese inner qualities, these
character traits.
If your heart is being changedand you're focusing on these
inner qualities, these charactertraits, if your, if your heart
(12:01):
is being changed and you'rebeing sanctified, your husband's
going to be, he's going to seethat, he's going to be attracted
to that, it's going to witnessto him far more than your
external beauty.
And now neither of thesepassages are saying that beauty
is a bad thing.
It's just pointing out whereour priority should be, what our
central focus should be asChristian women and, ultimately,
(12:23):
the impact that we can have ifwe shift our focus on those
right things.
Number five as a person who hasworked hard to live a healthier
lifestyle, when it comes to thefood that we're eating as a
family my household cleaners youknow I'm avoiding what I can.
That's toxic.
It's everywhere we don't useplastic.
(12:45):
There's a lot of changes I'vemade in the last five years and
I don't believe that a lot ofthe things that are out there
that are supposed to enhance ourappearance are good for us, and
I think that, as we all know,that it takes time until we see
(13:08):
just the evidence of theconsequences and problems that
arise from these things, and Idon't doubt that there are a lot
of unwanted side effects ornegative impacts that happen to
our bodies when we're injectingthings or doing things and
taking these drastic measures.
I mean take breast implantillness.
(13:28):
I personally known severalwomen who have had to get their
implants removed because theywere the cause of a whole host
of medical issues, and when Ilook at things like Botox.
You know, knowing that, whatmuscles do when they're not in
use they atrophy.
Essentially, they're shrinkingand they're weakening, and I
(13:49):
really believe that Botox islikely causing more issues under
the surface as it relates toaging, and probably increasing
the need for additional thingslike fillers, because your face
is likely experiencing long-termatrophy and that is not natural
and I'm guessing it's not agood idea.
I'm just looking at thesethings logically.
(14:11):
I'm not a scientist, but I cansee, you know, patterns
throughout.
You know, even just in mylifetime, where things were
introduced that we laterdetermined like did more harm
than good.
And so, as a me personally, Ijust want to be careful and as
I've gotten older and I've triedreally hard to live a life that
is healthy and free of as manyharmful or unnatural substances
(14:33):
as possible, and so, for thisreason, I have a strong personal
conviction about doing thingsor putting things into my body
that go against you know what Ivalue, what I've worked really
hard to do in our family and,like I said, you might think
these things are silly and youmay have a different list of
reasons, but the important thingis that we are making lists and
(14:57):
weighing out our decisions andthinking through and praying
about and seeking to desire thatwhich God desires.
And so my top five.
It's not meant to be anexhaustive list, it's not even
all the reasons why I don't dowhat I do, but and it's not even
one for you to live by.
But hopefully it just helps youknow, get you know.
(15:18):
You started right, even ifyou're just start asking
yourself some questions, and soI came up with some questions
that you might ask yourself asyou spend time examining you
know what you, what you value,what God desires for you, what
your motivations are for some ofthe decisions that you're
making or wanting to make.
So here's some questions.
Is this societal pressure or aself-esteem issue?
(15:40):
Yeah, does this line up with myvalues and with my faith?
Is my desire for this rooted ina healthy sense of self or
rooted in insecurities?
Am I doing this in the hopesthat it will fix some other
issue, for example, a lack ofintimacy in my marriage?
What are the benefits?
What are the risks?
(16:01):
Am I putting superficial needsabove other needs?
Am I doing this based on acultural standard of beauty or a
genuine desire to changesomething that affects my
overall well-being?
Who in my life is watching mydecisions and will potentially
follow in my footsteps.
How does this affect myfinancial situation and will it
(16:23):
burden our family?
Affect my financial situationand will it burden our family?
Have I done all that I can, oram I looking for a quick fix,
and a really tough one?
Am I putting more effort intomy outward appearance than I am?
In growing as a Christian and inmy relationship with God, I do
believe we should be taking careof ourselves.
I believe we should take pridein the way that God created us
(16:47):
as women, as, however that is,for each of us it looks
different, and so one of theways that there's a lot of
things that I do I don't justwear sweats all day and not take
a shower and put makeup on.
I love looking pretty.
My favorite thing is to weardresses, but one of the things
(17:10):
that I've committed to is doingwhat I can, naturally, and so
there are some things that werereally important to me.
One of the things when I goingback to that question um, oh,
what was it?
Um, oh, what was it?
(17:31):
Hold on, I just had it.
Oh, it was something.
Oh, I know it was.
Am I doing this based on acultural standard of beauty or a
genuine desire to changesomething that affects my
overall well-being.
And one of the things thatgenuinely affected how I felt
about myself was my teeth, andso I had a strong desire to
(17:56):
invest my money and my time inInvisalign treatments, and that
was really important to me.
I wanted to have nice teeth.
I did not like what I saw inpictures.
I felt very self-conscious.
It was, you know, it's one ofthose things that a lot of
people deal with.
I get it, it's not, it was.
(18:17):
It was a big deal to me and Ifelt like it was a natural thing
that I could change.
That wasn't going to, you know,taking extreme measures.
But when I finished with thetreatment, the orthodontist then
offered me teeth bleaching andoh my gosh, I was so tempted
because here I had this verystraight smile, beautiful, you
(18:37):
know, wide smile, and I reallywanted to get the teeth
bleaching.
And I had to ask myself doesthis align with my commitments?
And, fortunately for me, I haverelatively white teeth.
It's something that peoplecomment on and I kind of went
back to that If I bleach them,people are going to say
something, that I'm going tohave to say something.
(18:57):
But once that offer was on thetable, it just seemed that my
beautifully straight teeth werenot enough.
I needed more.
Right, this discontentment withmy smile crept in.
But I also knew it went againstmy non-toxic, healthy lifestyle
.
So, after wrestling with it, Ilet that idea go.
And you know what?
(19:18):
I am so stinking happy with myteeth.
I no longer look in the mirrorand think, oh, I wish they were
whiter, I need to bleach them.
I love them.
They're beautiful just the way.
I no longer look in the mirrorand and think, oh, I wish they
were whiter, I need to bleachthem, I love them.
They're beautiful just the waythey are.
They're no longer crooked.
That's amazing.
And so, as I've practicedcontentment, I've learned to
focus less on what I don't like,and it it's not always easy.
(19:39):
It's up and down, right,there's things that come up and
you got to really work throughthem, but I can appreciate the
way that God made me and it'ssomething that that contentment
is something to be practiced.
We have to take our thoughtscaptive.
We have to continually speaktruth to ourselves, and when you
find contentment in somethinglike when I let go of the idea
(20:01):
that I need to bleach my teeth,there's just so much more peace
and freedom in that.
And can I just say like I havereally good days and bad days,
or maybe not bad days, but likereally hard moments, like the
struggle is real.
It is not easy to get older.
It is not easy to lookdifferent, to know what's ahead,
(20:25):
and it's not fun, I get it, butit doesn't have to take us out.
Life isn't over just because weno longer look like we're 20.
And I want to end hereencouraging all the older women
in my life that are aginggracefully.
I find it so refreshing to seeyour natural beauty, your laugh
lines and your gray hair andjust seeing you with your
(20:48):
grandkids in this new stage oflife.
I never look at you and think,wow, she should do something.
Wow, she's looking old.
You are beautiful just the wayyou are.
Let's celebrate getting olderinstead of looking at it as a
curse.
And that goes for the youngwomen that are fearful of aging
and trying to do all they can toprevent it.
It's going to be all right.
(21:09):
There's other things to lookforward to.
Life is still meaningful, it isstill wonderful.
And to the woman strugglingwith insecurities and the
pressure to look a certain wayyou are beautiful, just the way
you are, I promise.
Thanks for tuning in.
I pray you feel inspired tolive out your unique and sacred
calling.
Until next time, remember youserve a God who is bigger than
(21:34):
all that comes your way.
Thank you.
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