A Christian Experience of Polyamory - Jennifer C Martin

In this episode, Jennifer Martin, a self-identified Christian, polyamorous, and bisexual mom, shares her personal journey of reconciling her deep faith with a non-monogamous lifestyle, emphasizing that non-monogamy can be a healthy and faith-aligned sexual expression. Her story illustrates a comprehensive deconstruction driven by a "hunger for God" and a commitment to liberation theology, demonstrating how Christian principles can lead to a more progressive understanding of sexuality and community that transcends fear and judgment.

Key Topics:

• Jennifer Martin lives with five family members and two pets, stating she loves having people around and that being polyamorous is "a good way of life" for her. She also mentions "solo poly" for those who prefer not to live with partners.

• Jennifer defines liberation theology as centered around social justice, aiming to "create a more just society based on Christian principles" on Earth, in contrast to her Pentecostal upbringing that taught life on Earth was meant to be terrible. She recommends James Cone's Black Theology of Liberation.
• Liberation in sexuality means not having to choose between faith and sexuality, extending to non-monogamy. Jennifer advocates for non-monogamy as a healthy form of sexual expression aligned with faith, noting her children have been raised in a polyamorous home with three parents since 2020, and they've known about their non-monogamy since 2016 or 2017.
• Jennifer grew up in purity culture with shaming sex education. She came out as bisexual early on, facing suppression of her feelings due to fear of hell. Despite trying to be a "perfect evangelical Christian wife and mother," she continued to have feelings for multiple people, leading her and her husband to deconstruct their relationship and embrace non-monogamy and polyamory together.

• Jennifer prioritized maintaining her faith and relationship with God throughout her deconstruction, feeling "hungrier for God" than ever before. Her Christian beliefs, particularly regarding Jesus, drove her progressivism.
• The most uncomfortable part was other people's reactions to her non-monogamy, including her family dismissing her faith as "fake" and being called names like "adulterer" or "fallen woman". Even non-religious and LGBTQ+-affirming individuals questioned her choices. Despite this, she never stopped attending church and is now confident in her faith, unbothered by others' opinions.

• Jennifer addresses the spiritual question of God's acceptance of non-monogamy, acknowledging ingrained biblical messages about adultery and patriarchal polygamy. Dr. Kevin Jenson's book, Sacred Not Sinful, explores these topics, noting the patriarchal application of laws. He asserts that Jesus' teachings emphasize equality before God for all, transcending social distinctions.
• Jennifer advises those deconstructing their sexuality to research and learn about it, emphasizing mindful, consent-based models that prioritize emotional health and open communication.

Connect with Jennifer Martin

Jennifer offers paid Zoom chats or detailed email exchanges for guidance. Recommended resources include her blog, Dirt Bag Christian, poly-friendly therapists, local polyamory groups, and Queer Theology.

@notreallyjcm

https://linktr.ee/jennifercmartin

Get a copy of Dr Kevin Jenson's book

Sacred not Sinful: A New Christian Sexual Ethic

We mentioned meeting at Wild Goose Festival...and would love to meet you there next year!

https://wildgoosefestival.org/

Connect with Dr Kevin Jenson

https://linktr.ee/drkevinjenson