92: On Chatting the Day Away (WE ARE THE WEIRDOS, MISTER CHIRPLES)

Classic A&A crew chatting it UP! Disjointed topics include: community college, the Are We Dating the Same Guy? facebook group, “male loneliness epidemic”, tipping your bartender, Uber terrors, anime (briefly, we don’t watch it), Binchtopia vocabularly, plus some serious tips & tricks for avoiding an accidental fentanyl overdose. (TW for descriptions of suicide, death in general.)

ig ~ @sadgap.podcast
website ~ sadgap-podcast.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, and welcome to Sad Girls against the Patriarchy.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm Allison and I'm Alexis, and we are your sad Girls.
Good morning, rise and shine everyone. Someone just woke up. Yeah,
it was three fifteen. Alexis is like, hey, like I'm
checking in, you know, running a few minutes late. And that,
fortunately was the message that woke me up. And as

(00:43):
Alexis correctly identified, yes, I took a nap. No alarms
were set. I was reading about the new deal for
this week's episode, and you've immediately fell asleep. It was
so stimulated. My brain just like was overpowered. I was
just at my laptop in bed. That's my mistake though
I would do way too much in bed. That was
me today.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Usually I'm like at the desk, and then today I
was just like on my phone on Wikipedia's like copy
pasting my notes up. So again that's why I was like,
I'm honestly not upset if you don't come.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, I think we're redirecting. We're gonna do it chatty
episode instead. This is a pretty dense one. I realized
going in, Like, I think it's kind of been a
few weeks since we've done something this researchy. Yes. In
the meanwhile, I put up a question sticker in case anyone.
I put it up like ten minutes ago, so I'm
not expecting a million responses. Do you remember we did

(01:35):
this at Alexis's house a while ago and one of
them was herpies. So I just searched my phone for
herpes and no results. Oh, no results for herpes on
your phone. So that means I think we knocked out
all of the questions in that arena. I think we
talked about I remember talking about it vaguely. We did
talk about herpes. Yes, I said it was sexist in
its approach, like people see women with herpes is discussing,

(02:00):
but men get away with stupid shit. Yeah. I also
had more to say on the Surviving Your Twenties episode.
We just got so into it we forgan to take
any breaks, I know, and I was like, man, I
forgot to talk about this, forgot to talk about that.
I don't remember what community college. Community College teased it
and I took out the teas actually because they're like, yeah,
I'm going to talk about that later, and the I'm like, oh, man,

(02:20):
I talked a lot. We all talked a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I think it was just we you know, it
was organic, which I think is what's really important exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
I asked, Yeah, but why don't we talk about community
college now in the context of how to survive your twenties,
including things you can do now to support yourself going forward.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah. I mean, what I was gonna say about community
college is don't feel bad about it, and I think
take advantage of it, because as someone who's been a
working professional and multiple different capacities, I went to community
college for all my prerecs before I went to university
for nursing school. And let me tell you the girl
I went to I worked with. I went to fucking
Columbia all four years and I got the same fucking job.

(03:01):
So it doesn't fucking matter. And you're gonna save yourself
tens of thousands of dollars and there's no fucking shame
in the game.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
That's what I was thinking, the amount of money you
can save going to community.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
College, right, because that's not usually what if you're gonna
get like a four year degree, you can't get your
like main chunky, meaty classes at a community college anyways.
That's gonna be like your I have to take two
englishes in like fucking algebra and government and like all
the basically high school part two ass classes that you
have to take, and it's gonna be so chape.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I did a program in Washington State called Running Start.
I mean it would go through anywhere in high school still, yeah,
but I went full time. My high school teachers, which,
by the way, I went to a high school. I'm
putting really heavy quotes around it. We were kind of
a homeschool co op affiliated with a real high school
that I only visited the campus once. So we had

(03:54):
high school for us was ten eleven twelve, so there
were like thirty students between those grades and the teachers
we all called him by their first name. At the
end of the semester, you would tell your teacher why
you deserved the grade that you thought you did, and
I would be like, I mean, I deserve an A
in biology class. I designed my own biology class. My
mom signed off on it, and I didn't do anything,

(04:17):
and I printed out some stuff from the internet put
it on a poster board, and you're like, that was
definitely me.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
This is back when you could do shit like that
because the teachers did not how the internet worked, but.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
It was also this school, right, I don't think of
real school. I mean I've talked to some people about
it since then that I was in school with, and
we're like, remember when we were just kind of babysat
for our high school education for a few years. But
what would happen is they would encourage all their students
to go off to Running Start. And what you could
do is you would be fulfilling your high school credits
while you were going to community college. But as long

(04:49):
as you didn't finish every high school credit, you could
stay there the whole time, because as soon as you did,
then you're out of Running Start. But they would just
keep one little credit and then if you just didn't
do that. I went to community college full time for
grades eleven and twelve, got my associate's degree at the
same time as one that school diploma. That's so sick.
But then I went to UC Berkeley and I didn't

(05:12):
follow up on my credits being transferred, and I was
bad at human ing and didn't ask for help at
all and didn't want to talk to people. Yeah no,
absolutely not grost like advisors, yuck, who would have saved
me a fucking year of university. I went a year
longer than I needed to because I thought my credits
in transfer. Yeah, I thought they were taking like a
year to transfer. They just kind of got lost in

(05:33):
the mail all. You know. Now I would have really
like figured this shit out.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
I know you've been like, I'm sorry, why do you
mean you're not taking my English credit?

Speaker 2 (05:42):
But this, I think was still when there were papers
back in the old days that old will do howls
through the USBs yees, and that is how everyone talked, honestly, yes,
that is how they tell myself. Before you know, the
internet globalized us, the TikTok ifacacia. Before we all had
like sick vocal fry like we talked about. So that

(06:03):
was stupid. But in the end it all worked out
because like I wouldn't be in LA if not for
the timing of it all, you know, like graduating when
I did, meaning the people I did, moving when I did,
so I don't regret it, except I was an out
of state student, so it was like ooh, an extra
extra year of out of state tuition at UC Berkeley.
So I realized, since it is it's not an ivy,
they call it like the public ivy, but it is

(06:25):
still the same price as like USC very prestigious. Yes,
but in state is like twelve at the time was
twelve grand and out of state was thirty two k. Even.
But I had a ton of you know, your parents
are poor help and I had a lot of grants
and they automatically gave me scholarships. I didn't really apply
to scholarships, but they were like, you're eligible for these scholarships. Like,

(06:47):
I see, you're a poor. Yeah. Pretty much. You put
in your parents' income and it just started flashing red.
You got a poor, we've got a poor. Yeah. And
I do always wonder if I got in because I
checked the I'm part of a tribe and you are
I know, but like they say, they don't do that,
But I was always like, but do they do that?

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Honestly, I hate to give this advice, but I think
it's anything that you can possibly try to get.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh, I didn't do it in them, We're okay. Apparently
when I was supposed to have drinks in here, I
literally walked in with this like so flagrantly. Today I
have like a very clear water bottle of orange.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, it's like clear orange with like They're like, there
is liquid inside of here.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Every time, as you guys know, we talk about our
bisexual three beverages minimum and we open our V eight
And then last week the guy was like, oh, you
can't have drinks in here, and I said, oh, I
didn't know that. It's like, literally, your what were we
being poor? And great?

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Anything you can.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Use, anything you could possibly use. Said yeah, try to
get a scholarship for it, or use it. I have
a friend that got a scholarship for being left handed.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Love it.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I have my best friend's a redhead. She applied for
some scholarships. Like literally, just look, if you're tall or short,
like under a certain threshold, you can get scholarship. Like,
it's very surprising what you can get scholarships for.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Do you know you're more likely to be I'm not
gonna there's a right way to say this. If you
are left handed, the likelihood that you are a pedophiles higher,
or the likelihood that you'll be a president. More presidents
are left handed than the general pop including pedophiles. I
think it's because when something is different, like it is

(08:27):
a very right handed world. When I teach dance, I
notice everyone is stronger on the right side, even left
handed people. I've noticed this, and I think it a
compensated me exactly, even like spiral notebooks, scissors, probably other
things I don't think about. I think when there's a
different kind of structuring for you, you have more of
a chance of abnormal psychology. I mean, presidents are pretty

(08:48):
abnormal in my opinion. Yeah, they're pretty psychopathic, let's be real.
They're also more likely to be taller, which makes sense.
And I don't know if you guys have noticed this,
but they're more likely to be male. And it's not
a predictor of either of these things, but.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
It's just statistically it's like a funny yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, And I don't know why I look things like
that up. I'm very fun at parties. I think that's
really interesting.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Just like apparently the zodiac sign with the most serial
killers is Pisces, so.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Watch she's going robe community college? Was is also as
long as you just try, it wasn't hard. I don't
think I think it's designed to be like you just
have to put in the effort, right, you have.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
To study, you have to try, but you don't have
to like die about it.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
No, it's and I like that because I know people
who I I was just talking to someone I didn't
know we would have so much to say on a
chatty episode. But I mean, yeah, I got some words,
like there's things we don't hang out enough anymore, so
just at this time because of life things.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Obviously people are speculating about my favorite word.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Like they're not even friends anymore. I'm like, cool, Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
They don't like hang out as much as they used
to because it's like they have like a purely working relationship.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
But I don't know. But maybe maybe I'm just you know,
cognitively skitting from like, oh they're friends or friends forever
p let the befriends. So I was going to say,
there are people who like don't seem very smart to me,
Like I find them like hard to communicate with, and
they still do well in school, but I know it's

(10:25):
because they work hard. Then I remember this thing A
one was telling me last night, where she was saying,
you're never You're not better than anyone, You're also not
lesser than them, and having either attitude is a problem
with how you see the world. Yes, so if you're
groveling for people and if they're taking advantage of you
because you think they're so good. I know someone who

(10:47):
cleaned another woman's house for her just because she admired
her and she was grateful for the experience, Like she
told me, she was like, oh, I was just so
nervous being around this person as I cleaned her house,
and I was like, she's fucking can take the advantage
of you, queen. Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
If you move to the big city Hollywood, don't let
people that you think have influenced because everyone here works
in the entertainment industry. Like half the people here fucking
famous or rich or whatever.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Just no, don't do it. I got in touch with
one of my horrible, my, no good, very bad boyfriend x.
I got in touch with one of his ex girlfriends
through that. Are we dating the same guy group?

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
There were two women who responded to my posts that
I posted in two different cities because they were both
like where he lived and worked and then where he
moved to. Two women responded. By the way, these posts
did not pop off. They didn't get like hundreds of
life right. It wasn't like a trending Oh no, the
page live your life in such a way that two
women in different cities will not respond to a not

(11:46):
very visible post about you just as a goal. Yeah,
like that was that's kind of like, wow, what are
the fucking chances? But one woman was talking about him
at work and the other was like, oh my god,
I dated this guy. But her and I were going
back and forth and she was like not understanding how
different our situations were. He wasn't good to her, but

(12:08):
it was like he kind of ghosted her and like
didn't communicate well enough. And I'm like, that's different. Yeah,
you're like not good, but I don't. This is apples
and oranges here at this point. And she said, well,
you know, at least he did take me to this
A Listers party, so at least I'll always have that.

(12:28):
And I just couldn't respond to that because I'm like,
well that is so small. And also, you do not
live in LA where you will have opportunities like that
fall in your lap if you just open yourself to them. Right,
I haven't quite had, you know, like that would be cool,
but I've met enough of them to know that, Like,
you know, I don't know if I want to hang
out with them.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
No, not always, They're not you know, some people are cool,
but most most of the celebrities I met, I'm like, yeah,
you're kind of insufferable.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Usually my friends are cool. I don't rather you have
like my friends. Yeah. So I couldn't even respond to that.
And then she was like, I don't remember if I
said this on the pod yet, but she was like,
one day we'll be able to laugh about this. And
I said, I will not be able to laugh about this,
but someday we'll stop giving me anxiety attentions. And she
heart reacted and we haven't spoken. You know what, I

(13:15):
think that's a good sendoff.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
I think that was a nice way to just end
that conversation between these two people.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Affected by the same face. Yeah, but in different in
different ways. So was she in the other She wasn't
in La No, Yeah, she was in the other state.
So he was dating there a while ago, like a
few years ago, is very connected there and now lives there. Okay.
We were talking about community college being valuable, oh yes,

(13:42):
and then being lesser better than I do think if
you're like a dude who abuses your girl, I think
they're lesser. I'm saying it.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Oh yeah, no, I think I think there's you know
exceptions to that.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
No, fuck those guys. Yeah, but like someone who may
maybe this episode isn't out yet, but we talked about
i Q testing in different kinds of intelligence.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
Yeah, everyone just is intelligent different ways. And yeah, maybe
the way they're presenting it or for me it's like
references or like senses of humor, Like if we don't mesh,
then I'm.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
Like, uh, they're like off.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
But I'm like, yo, they're totally putting normally fine and
like they just don't get my stupid shokes like gibers.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
But they're probably way book smarter than I am. They're
probably way more normal than us. Honestly. Well, yeah, that's
that's definitely what it is to there's like a level here. Yeah,
it's actually us. It's not that oh we're oh we're
the problem is that what you're saying? We are the weirdos? Mister.
That's the title of the episode. Now, yes, good Craft
reference love it. We need to come up with more

(14:41):
clever titles because I ended up I end up labeling
it like on birth control, and then later I'm like
that's boring. I don't know where's the pizazz.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
On not fertilizing your eggs. I don't know how you
would make that a different title, popping pills.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
And Borton bills. I don't know, like children named. Yeah exactly,
you got the Joe bills and Jills, Yeah, Borton bills
and Jills Barton important. We'll work on that. Shop it. Yeah,
let's take our first break. You can get your triples out, jarbels, jingles.

(15:36):
I don't know, I'm saying turples now, that's good. Our
recording equipment always in the beginning is like, yeah, it
breaks up and it's like staticky and sound like ass yees.
But we hide that from you. But we're back. I
think that was funny. I'm leaving it in triples. Triples,
we are the weirdest. Mister Triples it's his last name.

(15:59):
Are We got a few requests to the sticker I
put up just like very shortly ago of what should
we talk about. One is the male quote loneliness unquote epidemic,
which is just such a triggering word until someone says
that to Hi, I'm just like, can you shut the
fuck up?

Speaker 3 (16:17):
Like you guys, It's like, you mean the epidemic that
you guys bring upon yourselves because you hate everything and
are such miserable little bitches.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, the meme that's like a boot on her neck
and it's like the war on men. But then the
bottom side is like a little girl like holding up
on her It's like the arm in the boot that's
like on your own neck. Yeah, it's your arm.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
Yeah. It's like when you guys dismantle your own relationships
and think having platonic relationships with men are gay and like,
you know, think women are subservient subhumans and try to
play devil's advocate and be edgy all the time and
push people away and then you're.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Like want to be foods with me.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
It's like, again, have fun with the male loneliness epidemic.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
But is that I have never I'm not in the
MRA circles? Is that something that dudes really say? Because
this is okay at this point to me, it's a
meme and it's a thing that women make fun of.
But I mean I knew it had a root of
but of truth, but like it's still out there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
I posted like a fucking thing on my story of
someone like basically saying what we're saying about the male
Lolian its epidemic.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
And then I had a dude respond back and be like,
this is a bad take, and I was like, oh,
so many their feelings hurt. Oh no, they were. They
were not doing that. Boys aren't emotional though, right, Yeah,
but I know we know it's nuanced because refer to
our controversial how the patriarchy here, it's meant to episode
where we go into yeah, they're not allowed to have

(17:43):
these emotions in the same way that women feel the
pressure to be pretty, which we know is real. Like
I'm not denying that, oh absolutely.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I mean I've heard women like shit talk men for
like being emotional or crying like it's fucked up.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
It's the society we live in. It's shit.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
There was a coworker, remember talking to a guy and
rest job where I was talking about like they need
to be vulnerable with partners, and he was saying no,
actually it was the next boyfriend. It felt very genuine.
He was like, I am telling you truly, like I
have cried in front of a partner and it had
them mock me and make me feel deeply unpleasant, uncomfortable,
like with that experience and like I was trying and

(18:19):
a woman shut me down.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, No, I mean the patriarchy hurts everybody, and like
the things that we bestow on to men affects how
women view men as well. And it's i feel like
more upheld by other men because I've also seen men
like rag on other dudes for like being gay or
like what the fuck ever, or how we dismiss when

(18:41):
there's like a woman pedophile who's like taking advantage of
a young boy, and like the responses are like, oh,
I wish that was my teacher or whatever the fuck.
It's like it's still being perpetuated by men in the patriarchy,
but that doesn't mean it doesn't bleed over into internalized
misogyny like with women too. Like I've I mean I've
even felt myself of having thoughts that I'm like, no,

(19:01):
we got to throw that away, of like seeing a
dude and being like, well that's it.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
I'm like no, no, no, no, no, we don't think
that way. We push that out of our mind. That's bad. Yeah,
So something we can do to help. I'm not saying
it's our falter, it's really ultimately our problem. I mean,
it's more it's more on them. But what we can
do just to support our cause just for selfish reasons,
right to make us look good, yeah, and feel better.

(19:25):
And I always say, like, even if you don't have
an instinct to be nice, I want you to recognize
how useful it will be to you if you are.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yes, I cannot stress enough how being nice has you
what you want? Oh my god, the amount of free
shit I've gotten just for like looking someone in the
eye and being like hey, like to a service person
like hey, how are.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
You doing today? Man, like you look really busy, and then.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Like four free drinks later and I'm fucking blasted, like like,
I love you.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Favor forever. It's so pretty. It's not how we talk.
Maybe it was after level drinks. But also, yeah, customer
service people like on the phone, you know when I say,
even if I'm getting heated, the very millennial young person
thing of like I'm sorry, I'm upset. I'm not upset
at you, I'm upset at the situation. It helps in

(20:13):
They're like, because as a person who's worked service industry
or retail for fifteen sixteen goddamn years, it's not all
I do, but it's definitely one of the things that
have made me a stable income. I will always do
one hundred percent for everyone, no matter what, because I
care about doing a good job, not for them, but
for me, for someone I like who's nice to me.

(20:34):
One hundred and ten. Yeah, easy, what do you want?
I will do it for you, and I'll give you
a little hookups and like, I'll try to take care
of you first if I can, without dismissing other people.
But just like when I can, I will go the
extra mile for you. Yes, and tipping to it makes
you look cool. Literally, Yes, when you walk in the
door and you're a non tipper, the staff is a

(20:55):
little like ooh, and they'll like talk about it behind
your back a little bit, a little gossip gossip. It's
just even if you don't agree with the tipping economy,
literally a dollar on a coffee will make the staff
think you're cool and don't you want to walk in
have them be like, ay, it's you, you're here. I'm
happy you're here. Right.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
It's also kind of like investing in your future because
if you're establishing like your regular coffee shop or like
your regular haunt, and you are a good person that
like tips and is like kind to the staff, it
will reward you and like friendship even or like other perks. Yes,
networking opportunity. You never know what people know or who
they know, or like what you can get yourself into,

(21:37):
like be nice to your bartender, to your servers, to
your baristas.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Mm hmmm. I know someone who does a comedy bit
who's like, yeah, you know, sure, maybe you don't like tipping,
and you don't think I should like it, even though
it's my oh job. It's a terrible system. He was like, yeah,
but when you think about it, I'm at work to
make money, and if there's a chance to make more money,
don't you think I'm going and then jump on it.
I'm already here to make money, right, And then he

(22:03):
goes on to say like, but I'm proud to say,
once they've added that twenty five percent option on the
screen after you flip it, I'm buying a Ferrari week. Baby.
The thing is, and this is one of my rants,
and I got derailed from the point I was already making.
But it doesn't matter. Today. There's those charts where you
see the cost of goods and services inflation of everything

(22:28):
we consume, and it's climbing climbing and then you see
the wages and it's pretty much stagnant.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, the minimum wage has not gone up since two
thousand and nine.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
However, the cost of the menu at any place where
there's tipping, the cost of the menu goes up with
that top line, which means tips go up with that
top line. And that's why a tip job is the
only viable job in this economy, because it's climbing with
the top line, not the flat line. Ruh. So I

(22:56):
get that it's not ideal, and we would love to
live in a European country where it's wages that are
more aligned with the top line. I'm sure. I know
it's not perfect, but no, but it's steady income. You
know what you're gonna get paid.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah, that really helps, and it's like a more respected
job and something even. I mean, you don't need benefits
with your job in Europe, but like you know, it's
like a career.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah. Here, the people I've known who are career servers
in their forties, like god, they all are like get
out when you still can, like please, Like they're wearing
back braces. It's hard to set aside money. Also when
you do freelance and gigs if you don't know how
much money you're gonna make next month, it's really hard
to save and like be mindful of that because how

(23:39):
can I mean, how can I.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
Put a percentage aside every month if I don't have
a stable percentage to put aside.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, yeah, it's it definitely comes with its challenges and
it is very degrading. That's why don't do restaurant work
in particular anymore. Bartenders have more respect because they can
cut you off, they can kick you out right. They
should be able to. If they can't, the manager isn't
doing it right correct. Servers are pretty looked down on
by people. I definitely had people who without even trying to,

(24:05):
just saw me as a servant.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, and I think that's a very I'm sure it's
in other places, but I feel like in America it's
so bad where it's like if you provide any service
to somebody, like the same thing like we've talked about
being a nurses, basically being like a server with more
steps mm hmmm. It's like they won't even look at
you half the time. It's like, hey, how are you today?
Diet coke?

Speaker 2 (24:25):
And you're like, oh, okay, nice to to diet coke.
My name's Allison. But it's also because customer service people
in any form here I've noticed are way more fake
nice than overseas because we're having to work for it. Yes.
I heard my brother in law teach my niece that
because he had driven for like DoorDash and Uber, and

(24:46):
for some reason my nieces are allowed to like door
dash a coffee with their you know, meager chore money
or whatever. But it still seems weird that they like
can go on to the door dash. I know.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
I have coworkers who like they were like middle school
kids have fucking Uber.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
You're on their phone and like, what do you mean
your kids are ubery with an a doll by themselves
in a car. I hate it. Yeah, And honestly, the
amount of abuse that happens in ubers, it doesn't feel right. No,
I get all those ads in my Instagram. Yeah, we
just saw one where a woman was like, Okay, sorry,
we're going down too many rabbit hot trails. People come
back to that, Hey we're going back to Yeah. All

(25:23):
of a sudden, my brother in law was like, hey,
you need to give him a dollar tip otherwise they
won't prioritize your order because they're seeing a lot of orders. Well,
I don't know, they do get one at a time
when my experience sometimes they overlap a bit.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, but they will try to make sure that your
coffee's not spilled on the west.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
But he was just saying it very practically. It wasn't
like tipping economy is such and such. He was just like,
if you want your order prioritize, you just need to
give him a dollar. And she was like, okay, I
was like, just fucking reality on realities terms.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Baby, Yeah, and that's still good advice. It's like put
out good, you get good.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah. Literally, for the low cost of a dollar, you
can give someone a living like a living wage and
look cool and get better service. And if people be
nicer to you, that sounds like a dollar is worth
to me. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
Also, it sounds exhausting to be like a miserable cunt
all the time.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, there's a regular at my job that doesn't tip.
We but it's very nice. But we saw the verbal
today yeah, yeah, which honestly, the sad part is like
I've also heard people be like, well he doesn't tip,
but at least he doesn't like verbally abuse me, And
it's just.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
So sad that, like, oh the bars on the fucking
Like when I have a like anybody say like please
and thank you to me, I automatically start crying because
I never hear I'm not joking, by the way. I
feel like if someone earnestly is like thank you, I'm like,
I never hear it.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Well, the sad part about nursing, as we've talked about,
is like a lot of people are having they're having
a horrible Oh yeah, of course, even yeah, the last
time I was in that situation, like getting a minor surgery,
I wasn't mean to people, obviously, but I was having
a harder time being really nice because I was so uncomfortable.
You don't I'm not expecting nice, yeah at all. Just
I mean, I mean, I'm even expecting irritable.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
Like if you're a beautible and you're shore with me,
I'm like, oh my god, Bessie, I totally get it,
you're having like the worst time of your life. But
when you're like listen here, you dumb fucking bitch, and
start throwing stuff at me and spitting on me, then.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
That's not in our repertoire wheelhouse, Like, that's just not
I mean, I think everyone should work a job where
they have to mop floors. Yes, I can tell there
is you can tell.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
Oh, yeah, someone has not had like worked in retailer
like food, especially like at least fast food. In high school,
everyone's required to work in fast food or like a
terrible retail job.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah. I agree. You'll never again look at that as like, uh,
what are they called like a you don't need any skill? Yeah,
unskilled labor. Yeah, trust me, you need a lot of
soft skills to make it.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
Well.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
I was talking about the importance of being nice for
a reason. What that reason was, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Oh, I was waiting on baited breath. I'm like, yes,
what was it like be a good fucking person?

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah, but there was something about like the practicality of that.
I mean I think we kind of went through it.
There was a reason, yeah that I brought it up.
But was it community college? No, it wasn't community college. Okay,
we were on the male loneliness epidemic. We so were,
so that could definitely be its own That will be
its own episode. Yeah, We're definitely gonna do a whole

(28:27):
episode on that I have a screenshat to read. Oh, yes,
that's weird. That's that was it. But this is this
is the chaotic bisexual episode of the year. Now they
know where I was going. Paying attention, better pay attention.
You don't have to pay attention. Wash your dishes or

(28:49):
whatever you're doing. You don't have to wash your dishes
right now, drive wash it. Yeah, whatever I put on
makeup and listill podcast. Yeah, whatever you do. I'm never
offending when people are like, oh, it was falling asleep
to your podcast. No, I'm like honor and truly. Someone
in my Facebook feed posted, I guess hiding my birthday
on my Facebook profiles answered a question I've had for

(29:11):
a long time period without it. Crickets, Who the fuck
is memorizing your birthday, dude, especially fifty random people you
haven't seen since high school? I know someone like that
nine nine likes or like you know? The care response
was first nine reactions. Care response was first, then alike
than a heart, and then I see three comments here.

(29:33):
They were all from men. The first one was I
did the same with identical results to happy belated birthday, man,
and the next one birthdays are markers in time, congrats
on leveling up, and then the third one was happy birthday, buddy,
missing you around heart emoji allmen comforting this poor baby
who didn't get any birthday response. I don't have my

(29:53):
birthday on Facebook. I've never had a happy birth rarely
one or two people who I've known for every haveing
a calendar. The way don't celebrate it on Facebook is
you take it off your profile.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
Right, and not only that unless your fucking mother forgets
your birthday.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Shut up? Literally, what the fuck up cares? Why would
I where old? This guy is in his thirties or forties, like,
oh knowing wish me, i'd be boot grow up. I
just can't imagine a woman posting that. I'm sure there's
one who would. I have a friend that one time.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
I was busy on her birthday and then I messaged
her the next day and she like talked shit.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
About me for forgetting her birthday. I'm like, bitch, grow up. Yeah,
I drunk texted Alexis on his birthday. I don't know,
well I was I gonna say when it was Oh
sorry sorry sorry I could have beeped it. But it's yeah,
maybe it's funny. I drunk texted Alexis's husband about ba baba.

(30:50):
Oh yeah, my baba. Yeah, when all of a sudden
to be like, I have a birthday of my calendar.
It could be the douchebag from one of my jobs
who has the same name, but I don't think I
would have his name of my calendar, but I would
have yours because your special happy birthday. And he was
like thanks.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
He does not care about his birthday at all. Yeah,
trying to do something, he just not want it. Yeah,
we're going to Darren to show tomorrow. He's gonna have
to suck it up.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, and some of our friend group cares more. We
all like to celebrate each other like period. So it's
a nice excuse to do that.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
I just like, That's the reason I like my birthdays
because I'm like, I want an excuse to go to
like a restaurant and like do something and make other
people do.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah, why not, I was gonna say when we were
on Uber and kids taking Uber, is that? Yeah? I
do get things that. Yeah, you've seen to the like have.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
You been abus asking your lawyer ads about yeah, getting
abused in ubers or lifts or whatever.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
There's so many of them. There's different law groups that
are suing. It's so bad, and they wouldn't be doing
it if it was a fraud. I mean, I think
lawyers are no better than to just fabricate a fucking
like class action lawsuit. It's very well investigated, if TV
shows are telling me true.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, and not only that, it's like I've I had
a friend who was in an Uber and she went
in the back seat and this guy was being a
fucking creeped he So she started recording and he was
being fucking like he wasn't like he was.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Like trying to touch her, but not like and he
was saying like patterne or something exactly.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, And she was in the back and he was driving,
and he was like, oh, like you know, I would
make you my wife and like blah blah blah, like
saying all this shit. And she was just recording the
whole time and like put it on blast. But it's like, Okay,
that's something that I've actually seen that someone wasn't able
to record.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
We got we saw a real recently that was like
Ladies in Los Angeles. Oh god, yeah, I had a
water bottle from an Uber driver. It was sealed, I
opened it, I sipped it within a few minutes, I
was like incapacitated. Yeah, and those are just like not
that any of our listeners would be like, well, she
could have been lying, but like, why that's such a

(33:01):
weird That's not like you're targeting your X or anything.
Why the fuck would you lie about? What do you
get from lying about that?

Speaker 3 (33:07):
We just live in a society where we don't believe
women and that anything that's terrible that happens to women
is automatically can't be true.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah, I mean, it's not like she's saying like and
now I'm signing up to be with such and such
law and you could too, and I didn't get it
right ferral, Like there's no reason.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
And I can totally see that being a thing, Like
I don't know why, but rufies are so fucking popular
in LA, Like almost everyone I know has been roofied,
which is insane.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Yeah, so I can see that totally, yes, because then
he can just fucking take advantage of near lifeless body.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
Right, he can say he dropped you off and then
go around the fucking corner and turn off the app
I know, and the water bottle thing is honestly terrifying
and but also genius because you've been in an uber
where they have water bottle offer as like, yeah, my
drunk has been like water, I'm sorry, sign for water
and a phone charger customer service.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Who could blame you? All right, customer service right until
it's servicing the customer?

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Right?

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Oh god? So dark? We don't we don't, obviously obviously
obviously not sorry, it's dark joke. We love, we love
dark humor. Here we do. Another one of the topics
suggested to discuss was anime which I do not watch.
Neither do I'm okay, I'm we're unqualified.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
I watched Taylor Moon as a kid and like an
not opposed anime, but like, I'm not cool.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
Do we know if a lot of it is sexist
or kind of pedophilix is the wrong word.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
There's some pedophilion Yeah, it's what I understand. It's like
they're all like school age children usually in a lot
of animes. And I don't know enough about it to
start fucking yapping. But from what my friends who are
big fucking weaves have told me, yeah, there's definitely some
like this character is.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Supposed to be like twelve.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
They don't look it, but they are, and why did
why are they doing stop doing that?

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, it seems like even adultish women who are maybe
like nineteen, there's still they got big guys, they got
big kits, they got little skirts, little skirts. Yeah, but
I can tell it is not all like that based
on the people I know who like it. Yeah. So
we're not in favor of the gross sexualization of children,

(35:22):
young women, motifs, girl motifs. Yeah, but otherwise it seems
like an art form that has value. Yeah, and there's
all sorts of different kinds. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Yeah, that's all we have to say about anime because
we're because that's.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
All we have. Sorry. Yeah, or it works but different kinds. Yeah,
not in that way. Someone said, how do you heal
from abuse? You can't talk about and then parentheses forced
to sign an NDA. Yikes. So I think that's the
saying of you don't actually need the other person to
have closure. I don't think you even need to forgive him.

(35:55):
I don't believe forgiveness is a gift. You don't have
to give it in my opinion, unless it benefits you, right, unless.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
It will you know, relieve you of that burden and
that weight and that stress and that anxiety.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yeah, but I mean we revert to therapy a lot
of the time. We direct to that which, you know,
I think talking to your community, talking to trusted people.
So when I say talking to your community and I
get NDA. We've signed NDAs for projects before, which is
a little less serious in a way because no one's
probably like not gonna personally come up after us. However,

(36:30):
to me, that means don't post about it. Yeah, usually
NDA's that we sign.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
It's like these don't post that you were on set
today for this show and post on fucking Instagram.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
But they'll even say I might have said like, don't
talk about it. But in my mind that means like,
oh maybe I shouldn't be saying this on a podcast.
Maybe someone who made me sign an NDA is going
to assume me. Probably not, but like with Alexis or something,
someone who I trust and who I can clarify like,
I am not supposed to be talking about this, but
I trust you not to gossip about it, and that

(36:58):
in that case it feels safer. So I'm wondering, And
it was a therapist. They're mandated reporters, But unless this
is like relating to abuse of a child. They're not
going to talk about it to anyone. Yep. Although my
therapist did say that what she puts in her notes
can be subpoanut, which makes her very uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
That actually is true, and I think I'm not sure,
but I think that's like a semi recent change.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Yeah. Yeah, No, she is very careful. She's told me
she's careful about the way she words things. And I
think you could ask a trusted therapist to do that.
And also you could also be vague about the details,
in which case it's it would be hard to get
on your case about that if it's like I didn't
say a name, I didn't say a specific place. I

(37:44):
was talking about how it affected me. Yeah, so I
think do that with friends if it doesn't feel safe
understandably to give details, even with the disclaimer of like,
I really seriously need you to not repeat this to anyone.
I can't can't go online, it can't go anywhere. If
it with a therapist, with a trusted friend, maybe if

(38:06):
you like your family could never be us. But if
you trusted no, not like I forget that your mom
listened sometimes, so it Yeah, if you have trusted family members.
It just avoiding the details so that you can talk
about it, because I really think it needs to not
stay inside.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
I agree, Yeah, tell your cat also on your journal.
As far as I know, I don't think an NDA
is like forever. Usually they have like a NDA until
like an x amount of time. Yeah, not that that's
I mean, it could be like ten fucking years. But yeah,
usually there's there's some sort of you're allowed to talk
about it now because you see that all times, like

(38:48):
the XOSA. It's like now that this NDA is expired,
so and so and so has come forward.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
Right, Yeah, read that thing carefully. I wonder if other
people are allowed to read an NDA for you because
it doesn't tell the details. Just don't talk about it.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
It's illegal document. Yeah, you know, I would think you
have a friend that's a lawyer, who know who. It's
like having a friend with a truck or a kitten lawyer.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Okay, I don't that's in law school right now, very
PROFRESHI that's yeah. It's a useful friend to have if
it's someone who you could read this with you and
help you understand the details, because then you can understand
how much you could say when you could say it,
if if at all. Maybe it does say in perpetuity
or whatever, but look for that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
I don't know enough about NDA's but I feel like
even like big scandalous ones and like expiry dates.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah, yeah, so that's like the European way I feel expiry.
It sounds cute. I like expiring. I feel like, yeah,
I like it. Aluminium m yes, hypernormally I know they
hate Z, sorry Z, but yes, however, you can get

(40:02):
that out even with the NDA in place, so you
can do the things that everyone does after a traumatic event. EMDR,
even if it's like an event of MDR didn't really
work for me because it was kind of more of
like a long time period. But if there is a
like specific nights when shit went down that you need
to process, that might be good too.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
And I know this is corny, but journaling, honestly just
getting it out out of you. I sometimes I feel
like it's like a trauma is like inside of you
and you have to like free it and like get
it out, and even journaling can might not do it fully,
but that can that can help a lot. And I
know this is also corny, but like something creative man
like mm hmm, or like go to a fucking rage room,

(40:43):
like paint a picture or smash some bases, you know,
like whatever you think will help you.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
You know, take psychedelics and paint. Yes, yes, if you
take psychedelics as a human, I'm not suggesting you start
right now because of our suggestion, but if you do
already and you've ever tried painting on it, the universe
is like telling you where the paints should go.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
Yeah, and psychedelics can do a lot of things for trauma.
There's a lot of data coming out about, you know,
trying to make psilocybin legal for like vets with PTSD,
because they've shown some promising data.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
Yeah, let's take our second break and come back to
talk more about I was trying to come up with
a euphemism sweet treats. We returned to the casting of

(41:43):
the pods. I had to come up with that name pod cast.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
So actually, whoa it derived from Apple from iPods and broadcasting.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
That makes podcast Oh the etymology of it all. Yeah,
I found that out so my recently and I was like,
son of a bitch, does anyone know if I if
binge Topia does because they say we're doing a chatty episode.
Is that just a thing podcasters say or is that
something that we started saying because of the Topia. I

(42:16):
don't know. It just makes sense to me, you're having
a chatty episode. I don't. I didn't think about it.
That's understandable. I actually don't listen to bench Topia as much.
I adore them, but I was using some of their
They have like a vocabulary of like the Scorgine, and
I just not that any We're not nearly on their caliber.

(42:38):
But I don't want to rip off. You don't want
to be influenced by them. We're doing our own thing, right,
We're Alison and Alexis. Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna look up
chatty podcast episode and see if it pulls up. Okay,
I see a chatty update from wool Needles Hands, I
see get chatty with me for someone else. What are

(43:01):
some fun chatty podcasts to listen to?

Speaker 3 (43:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Okay, yeah, I thought it was just like a thing.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Yeah, like a verbiage used in the pod world.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
I was gonna talk about. Oh yeah, we promised more
drug content. They can be very therapeutic, Like there's plenty
of data on that. We're not just saying that. But
ideally in these studies it's under the care of professional
and I think.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
And it's dosed appropriately. It's not just like my friend
yipped him up. Yeah he makes tea.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
Or what the fuck ever. Okay, I was going to
talk about fentanyl overdoses and I will say yeah, drugs, yeah, topical, yes,
I okay, I'm just gonna say it. I got this
data from Chatgypt. I did ask it. You can always
ask it for sources, which anything serious I do, and
it did give me a source. But always good to
do your own research opioid overdoses. This is what I

(43:57):
have heard from former heroin addicts. Hey, come on, slowly,
you do your your heroin, you do too much. It's
not instant. It's like you're starting to feel a little
more more sluggish, even like your breathing is slowing down.
And then after it depends on the person and their
tolerance and how much they take. There's a lot of variables,

(44:17):
but it's not instant, is what has been described to
me from personal account from people who have been around
someone who did this.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
That's my understanding too, because from my understanding as a
medical person, it's the reason you die is from respiratory depression,
which even if you stop breathing, you don't die immediately.
And it's not like you just like stop breathing. It nice,
and it's like it's slower, it's slower, It builds up
and then just eventually you're not breathing deep enough and
then you eventually stop breathing.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
In the movies when they put the pillow over the
face and thirty.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
Fucking hilarious, don't that's not the way. No, that's what
like serial killers always say. It's like you don't realize
or like cops even's like you don't realize how violent
it truly is to kill somebody.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah. Yeah, Alfred Hitchcock too, is like they never show
what a messy affair it is to actually kill a man. Yeah,
you can't just like knife from one and he's like, yeah,
falls over stage left, no if. And that also made
me feel better of like stage left, that's very funny,
the prop knife and like the streamers go out. It

(45:20):
makes me feel better to hear that, because everyone has
some fear of death and to know that like, okay,
just one little misstep isn't gonna most likely.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
Most likely, I mean I would say overall human bodies
are like incredibly resilient, but you also hear those freak
cases of like someone got you know, hit in the
head and just happened to hit the squishy part on
their head and then they fucking died instantly and it
wasn't even you know, that big of a projectile.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
But also there's this I should probably put a trigger
warning if I remember to be like, uh, explicit descriptions
of deaths all about dying ways. Yeah, but there's this
famous case that everyone learns about in psychology class where
a guy got a pole through the head and then
lived forever, but he was altered. But it just showed

(46:06):
that like certain areas of brain trauma affect everything your personality,
your speech, your memory, depending on you know where it
is and how extensive it is. But you fucking lived.
And then people can shoot themselves in the head and live, Yeah,
which is scary, So don't, yeah, don't try to offer
yourself ideally. But you know, it's it's really sad when

(46:26):
it's like you tried and then you're just permanently disfigured
and disabled and now you're you know, you didn't even
accomplish a goal, like, Damn Seinfeld has a joke without that,
it's like people who try to kill themselves and fail.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
It's like, wow, I failed at that too. It's like, God,
damn Jerry Seinfield. That wasn't even funny.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Oh gallows humor pretty literally okay, But fennyl overdoses what
I was seeing on z Internet is that it is
so fast and so intense. It's more like a two
to five minute stopped breathing. Yeah, and that narcan which
anyone who's around people who do powdery substances, including.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
I mean anything like anything at all. I've heard people
you're taking your yeah X. I had a kid who
thought he was smoking meth and it was fucking fentanyl
and like.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Just part stopped. And at first I didn't understand the
economics of this because like, if you are selling these things,
why would you want to fucking kill your repeat customers?

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Right?

Speaker 2 (47:24):
Cross terrible business model. Cross contamination is what the Internet
I've seen. And this is like Reddit, you know, this
isn't there are not a there's not a ton of
like data on this because it's so sudden and random
and horrible. But the cartel's not in putting their data
into like plumed not yet, you know, maybe uh, maybe
in the future, but it's like things being cut on

(47:47):
the same board. And then it's just the problem is
you just need a teeny tiny little bit of fentanyl
and then it ends up in your whatever, and then
you consume it or you snort it or whatever. You
might know better than me, but am I understanding. I'm
sure you do no matter than me. Is that it
doesn't have to be a lot. But they're they're also
selling fentanyl to people who expect fentanyl, to people who
know how to dose fentanyl in the way that they

(48:08):
don't die. But then you get some of that in
your thing. And the problem with testing your drugs is
that it could be anywhere. So if you test a
little bit of your bag or whatever, then you don't
actually know. You'd have to test the whole thing. Yeah,
and the same with ecstasy or whatever. You have to
and it's dissolved in water is the only way of
testing that I know. Also that makes sense. It's like

(48:28):
you don't just drop it on something. Yeah, that's what
people I know have done.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
They put it into a water bottle and test the
full amount and test it and then share it between however,
many people, whether that's individually or you know, between a
couple of people.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Nar can counter acts the effects of an opioid overdose.
That person still needs to go to the hospital for care,
but it will for more nar can't it will save
a life. What I read though, is that nar can
isn't necessarily going to be effective enough for the feed
all overdose because it's also usually people are snorting something

(49:04):
and so it's in sepphylation, so it's they're absorbing a
lot through the mucous membranes in their nose going straight
to the brain. And if you are accidentally getting dose
with fentanyl, and probably are a person who's also never
done opioids before, if you're doing a varrowing, your body
has some tolerance to it. If you are trying to

(49:26):
do one thing and you get ventanyl, basically it was
like one dose of the nasal spray of narcan, which
you can get free online. There's a ton of harm
reduction sites that will mail it to you and could
save your friend's life. Just keep that shit in your
car and your purse or whatever. One dose might not
be enough for the surprising fentanyl overdose for someone who
has no opiotolerance that is taking it in this method,

(49:48):
you might need to. There's also an injectable liquid version
that you can also keep in your purse, and that
is much stronger. And it's so funny because they have
the instruction give this little dosing of like try one
milli leader and like you're pulling, try one milli leader
in this ridge, try a second mill leader. I think
you just nope, just get it all jam it in

(50:10):
there movie style.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
And I checked it out and I was like, oh,
is this like I am as a subcus as inconvenience.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
It's all of them.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
So literally just pull it up and just fucking stab
it where the fuck ever right in the eyeball.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Don't do that? Would it still work? But also you
go blind? I think probably take case membranes sind over dead. Yeah,
I mean, just shove it in someone's stomach, arm, thigh,
but whoever sigh Like top of the thigh and arm
was what was highlighted on the little dude.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Yeah, that's that's where subcutane's usually behind the arm, the stomach,
on the top of the thigh and then but you
know what, honestly, any of them would work for what
I could tell, just shove it in there.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, yeah, and you cannot die from too much nar can.
It's also called the lock zone. I feel like one
of those is the brand name, and one of those
is like narcans of brand name, and the lock zone
is the generic. Yeah, okay, so you can look up
either one, and if you're around anyone who is doing this,
you should have it on hand, because I thought it
was like, and you know this is from being around

(51:14):
people who are doing this and wanting to save a life.
I thought it was like, you have that ten to
twenty minutes. And the problem is people don't usually recognize
it because they're already so in top. Yeah they're not like,
oh is my breathing a little slower than whatever? But
I feel like someone around you would be better at noticing, like, oh,
like something weird is happening. It's not that long if

(51:36):
it's this fentinyl cut into your thing and you're not
you don't have an opioid tolerance. And that was just
so scary, like that's not enough time for an ambulance
to come out. No, and then you are just like
dead and they're giving you a CBR and then hoping to,
you know, help breathe for you, and that's bad. Yeah,
they're you know, bagging you. Andfuther they're not tagging you. Yeah,

(51:59):
I'll take baged over tagged and bag. Yeah. No.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
I think doing drugs safely is highly important. My friends
in high school thought I was like such a fucking
narc because I was that person that was like, hey, guys.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
If we're gonna you guys, make sure that we're all hydrated.
Like I wasn't like no one should do this.

Speaker 3 (52:18):
I was just ye me if you're like my boyfriend
at the time had like a horrible heart condition. He
had six heart surgeries before he was twelve, and he
was like starting to do cocaine.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
And I was like, I don't like care.

Speaker 3 (52:31):
That you do drugs, but maybe don't do the one
that's like the worst on your fucking heart that barely works.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Dumb ass. Yeah. Yeah, we're in favor of harm reduction
all around. And I think being hydrated, eating food, Go
for a regular physical with your GP. If they tell
you like, ooh, you're harder your liver, like, take that
shit seriously, man.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Absolutely, And as someone who has seen multiple people like
dying of liver failure.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
That is not how you want to fucking go. No,
absolutely not. We have a few more minutes, and I
wanted to talk about people pleasing. Oh god, what's that.
I've never done that before. I don't care about that.
It was in my notes from last week and I
just didn't bring it up. And I don't think I
got super researchy. But the reason behind people pleasing my understanding,

(53:21):
like what I feel it is, and I'm open to
being wrong or having more input, is like it's a
fear of rejection. It's a desire to be liked. It
can even be it like an unclear sense of self
of like your morals, your principles of like now, these
are my values I do not straight from this and
often rooted in childhood or like early social dynamics that

(53:42):
you experience. Does that sound like a good kind of
root of where it comes from to you?

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Yeah, I mean I think for me personally, it's a
fear of conflict. Mmmm.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Yeah that's valid. Yeah, No, I know I know someone too.
Who is We've talked about it in staff meetings. Who
is people pleasing to the point that it really affects
others in a negative way of like you need to
look out for other people around you too, if you're
shaped about boundaries. Yeah, so what boundaries actually do and
this is like going back to tipping where it's or

(54:12):
like being nice for a strategic reason even if your
heart's not in it. What boundaries actually will do is
help people be a better person because they have to
respect your boundaries and you aren't. You're actually helping them.
It's the way to look at it. I like it. Yeah,
it also protects your mental health. It's it's like modeling
healthy relationships for others of you don't want people to

(54:35):
walk around thinking that they don't have to respect boundaries.
That's how and people will just bend to their will.
That's how you get the entitled man syndrome.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
I was just about to say that's when dudes think
they can shit talk and do all the stuff because
all their bros around. They're like too scared to speak
up and be like hey, actually, like you're kind of
a fucking idiot, or like maybe we don't talk that
way or something like that.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Could we just we don't want to have the conflict.
We don't want to upset anybody. And I've had way
more experiences with entitled men than entitled women girls, Let's
step it up. Yeah, of thinking that everyone has to
do what they want and they're shocked when I stand
up to them, and that I think is the right

(55:15):
thing to do, Like we should stand up to them.
But it's just setting boundaries. It's just being like, hey, like,
it's not appropriate to treat me this way, even if
you're in customer service and you have to be nice,
you say it fucking nicely. Yeah, but you set those
motherfucking boundaries. Yeah, that's something I always do.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Like if people start cussing at me and incapacity, I'm
just like, I'm down to have this conversation with you,
but I want you to refrain from cursing at me
and like, let's continue this conversation in respectful manner.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Yes, it just helps people respect you more and not less.
So you don't have to you could say no, you
don't have to apologize for it, but you can be
nice about it. You don't have to reply to those
work messages after hours. You can be honest about your capacity,
and that is a beautiful way to manage healthy relationships.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
Yeah, I've only ever had positive outcomes with that. I've
been scared to like ask for what I want or
ask for what I need, and then when I do,
it's almost always like a nothing burger of people being
like yeah, sure, no problem, and I'm like what, Yeah,
You're not gonna fire me or like not be my
friend anymore?

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah. Literally, it just helps everyone have a good way
of managing and moderating these beautiful relationships we are forced
to endure with each other. Forced. All right, we are
out of time. So I am a Sandris Memes on
Instagram and I amtxcoth GF and we are sad Gap

(56:37):
dot podcast. You can email us at sad Gap dot
podcast gmail dot com. Follow us on all the things,
all the things, yeah, so many things. Refer to all
our other episodes. For more information on that, go to
the link tree in the bio on the Instagram. So true,
Oh and yeah, great short and going over to your
podcast lot from a choice and give us a five

(56:58):
star rating. If you could go on to Apple and
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have to say, rate, review, subscribe and share with a friend.
We're glad we're here, and we're glad you're here. That's right,
and we're all stronger together. We'll see you next time.
Bye bye bye