March 18, 2025 • 33 mins
Overcoming Fears and Embracing Emotional Freedom with EFT
In this episode, the host welcomes back Sonia Petruska, an expert in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). They discuss the effectiveness of tapping to manage long-standing fears, specifically focusing on the host's fear of getting her blood pressure taken. Sonia elaborates on the process of recognizing and voicing emotions, how these emotions can be physically felt in the body, and the importance of addressing the root cause to achieve emotional freedom. They also touch upon the neurological basis of tapping and how it helps rewire the brain’s response to stress. Sonia also introduces her upcoming workshop aimed at helping online event hosts manage disruptions from Zoom trolls and provides insights into handling unexpected challenges calmly. The episode concludes with a teaser for an upcoming discussion on in-the-moment coping strategies.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:17 Revisiting Tapping with Sonia
01:05 Blood Pressure Anxiety
02:51 Understanding Emotions and Tapping
07:20 Physical Manifestations of Emotions
13:28 Deep Dive into Tapping Techniques
26:54 Upcoming Workshop and Conclusion
https://taptoshinewellness.com/
Sonia Pietruszka is an accredited, certified EFT Tapping & Energy Makeover Coach and the owner of Tap to Shine Wellness. Working primarily with women, she helps clients navigating the emotional landscape life change, such as divorce, go from lost and stuck in survival mode to confident, hopeful, and excited about their future. Sonia believes that every person brings something special to the world. That’s why she strives to provide clients with the tools, support, and guidance to shine bright no matter what life brings them. In her down time, Sonia enjoys reading, bike rides along the Chicago lakefront, spending time in nature, and experimenting in the kitchen.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome listeners.
I'm really excited that you'rehere and you're going to be happy
to know that Sonia Petruska.
Is back.
And if you remember, she joinedus a little over a month ago and.
help me with some tapping,which was really new to me.,
(00:21):
if you want to go back and listen, and I'mgoing to go over the steps again, since
I have Sonya here, but we wanted to seehow Lisa did after that tapping practice.
What my fear was, was gettingmy blood pressure taken, which
has been a fear for years.
It doesn't make any sense.
I know that it's stupid.
(00:43):
I, I've had my heart tested.
You know, I know my heart is fine.
And yet it's those neural pathways,right, that we kind of talked about.
And so Sonia helped me by tapping,and Sonia this is what, and I only
did it once, and I never went backand listened to do the steps again.
Now I'm prepared to talk about them again.
(01:05):
Okay.
And when I went in to get myblood pressure taken, it was high.
However, I was a little, Iwas more accepting of it.
So interestingly enough, I, I walkedin and it was a male nurse and he
sat down and I said, okay, honey,I just want you to know when I come
(01:25):
here, my blood pressure gets reallyhigh and it's going to be okay.
I want you to know it's gonna be okay.
Don't get worried about it.
I'm like coaching him through it.
And it was, it was high,but it's been higher.
Right.
And I didn't do any of the tabbywork and it, you know, it was.
You know how life can get busy, right?
(01:46):
, so I, today I took some timeand I went back over those
steps that you gave us, Sonia.
And I realized.
How grateful I am that I kindof by having you on this podcast
had a free session with Sonia.
And it is really helpful.
And I think what I really like aboutit is it's not something probably
(02:07):
that you're going to have to keep.
coming back for over and over again.
I mean, maybe as life goes on.
But I think if you could work withSonia for, you know, I don't know,
do you do our increments, Sonia?
Yeah, sessions are an hour, butI like to, um, offer packages
because it's kind of like anything.
If we're comparing it to, you know,traditional western therapy, you're not
(02:31):
gonna go from one session and that's it.
Right.
Make sure that whatever your issue ofconcern is, we give it the time and
space it needs to work through it.
Sure.
Um, but which, which I understand becauseas I said, I had my one session now I get
to have you back again to talk through it.
(02:51):
But I thought what was reallyinteresting as well, I was kind
of re listening to what she walkedme through with the tapping.
A big part of it is torecognize what you're feeling.
So if there's something thatyou're afraid of, like me with
my blood pressure, you had me.
talk about how that felt and I saidafraid, afraid something was going to
(03:14):
be wrong and you and this is what I dowhen I coach people on their mindset.
You said, um, where is it?
So you're connectingit to your body, right?
And so is this something thatwe're always going to do?
Is this kind of a step in the process?
So say I'm a little bit afraid ofa horse that I have who is huge.
(03:35):
So I think about that horse because Ithink I talked to you about this before.
And I, and I think about how Ifeel and I really, really delve in.
And if anyone wants a feelingswheel, it's in my resource page.
Just go grab it.
Cause get real specific.
And I think even like, is it hot or cold?
Is it because you used what Itold you as you walked me through.
(04:01):
The tapping.
Do you want to talk a little bit about howthat helps you heal through this process?
Getting, getting to know whatthose feelings really are?
Yeah, of course.
When do I not want to talk about that?
(04:21):
Um, I want to rewind just a tiny bitand um, And just mentioned briefly about
your, um, I guess the white coat syndromeor I guess, yeah, um, the piece that you
mentioned about accepting that the numberwas high, that in itself is huge because.
(04:44):
Ultimately, yes, it's about the emotions.
It's about accepting what's going onfor us and how it's feeling in that
moment, because the emotion will pass.
It's not going to stay with usforever, but when we are resisting it,
there's that saying, what we resist.
So that holds true.
And, um, so when we're able to acknowledgethe emotions, if we want to imagine it as,
(05:10):
um, actually, um, the, the movies InsideOut are a perfect example of this, right?
Like, think of your emotionsa little differently.
People or you know, wholive inside you, right?
Yes.
And they want to be acknowledged.
So when they're acting up, that is a sign.
They need some attention, theyneed some acknowledgement.
(05:30):
And so when we do the tapping, yes,we wanna voice what's coming up.
So for the example of, of, um,fear or what, I'm sorry, what was
the one that you mentioned before?
Was it.
You
wanna talk about your horse?
Yeah.
Fear.
Oh, this horse that I have is just hugeand ginormous and big, and I get scared.
(05:52):
Okay, so if you're feeling scared,yeah, we're gonna voice that if
there's something else going on.
So maybe you have this fear aboutbeing around the giant horse.
Maybe there's some resistanceof even approaching.
There could be different emotions thatcome up, and that's normal for one,
because as humans we're multifaceted.
(06:14):
We can have.
Different emotions at the same timeas part of the beauty of us as beings.
And so in that instance, wewould want to determine which of
these emotions feels the biggest.
If there is one that ismore, more prominent.
And then that's what we focus on first.
(06:35):
And like you said, um, finding out ornoticing where you feel it in your body.
is also really important becauseagain, the mind body connection.
Some people have a lot of troublefeeling what's going on in
here because we stay up here.
That's where it's quote unquotesafe and more comfortable,
(06:56):
which again, totally normal.
But even if it's not the emotion per se,maybe you're like, Oh, well, you know, my
shoulder has been kind of achy or tightor stiff for like, I don't know, a month.
I don't think it's related,but that's what I'm feeling.
That's fine.
Maybe it's related, maybe it's not,but it's not going to hurt anything.
from including that because thechances are there is a connection.
(07:20):
I love that.
So you're talking aboutincluding physical pain as well.
I didn't know that.
Absolutely.
Because sometimes our emotionsdo manifest physically.
Um, and I, when I say this, Ithink of a client who, um, she
was going through a hardship.
(07:41):
And so When we were gathering theinformation of kind of the language
we were going to use in our tappinground, we got to the point of getting
curious about what she was feelingphysically, any sensations, and this
was a very vivid description, andI think I will remember it forever.
She's like, it feels like there'sa pitchfork in my chest that
(08:04):
someone is raking up and down.
Oh my gosh.
Like, you know, I think it's, it's a verygood illustration, you know, what you're
feeling good, it can be anything, therecan be colors, there can be textures,
it's, you know, we're not restrictedhere because if it's something that
comes up for you and your, your mind'seye and your imagination, we can use it.
(08:27):
There's basically anything goes.
Yeah, well, and what I like to Sonyais as I'm thinking about this and
about the blood pressure So I tendto like kind of laugh it off, right?
But it does bug me like I want to go andget a good reading I want to go and get
a real reading, you know I want it tobe like it is at home and I think that I
(08:51):
blow it off because they go Well, that'sa stupid feeling I don't accept it.
And I know there's more work to bedone there because I know you've talked
about and that's another reason whyit's good to work with someone really
digging down into what that core is.
That's that's causingthat I think would help.
I mean, that is the journey.
(09:12):
I am just on this journeyto get those neurons.
going, you know, new neuro pathwaysbecause even though we know how dumb
it is and how it doesn't make anysense, if it's something that we've
done over and over again and we don'tunderstand why it keeps happening.
(09:34):
And so, so if we were going to, soI've done like core wounds work.
So if you were going towork with me further.
on this blood pressure, what, whatwould you be looking at in addition
to me doing the tapping and we can cantalk through, you know, how it what it
looked like when you did it with me.
(09:55):
Um, but what would you do inaddition to that to dive deeper?
Say this is our second session.
I'm coming back and I'm telling youthat I felt the acceptance of it.
Now what?
Yeah, so I mean, we would startwith what is present in that moment.
So like, yeah, you'reacknowledging the acceptance.
(10:16):
We both know, especially givenour dialogue so far, that's not
the only thing that's there.
So it's, it's you sharing, okay, thisis what else is coming up for me or what
else is present when I think about it.
And we, we just start with where you are.
Um, ideally, I mean, just likethinking ahead, what I would be
(10:39):
curious about is maybe when was yourearliest memory of this happening?
Um, What was that situation?
And maybe, um, going intothat, seeing what comes up.
And it's a little bit hard forme to kind of forecast how the
session will go, because I honestlydon't have any knowing that.
(11:02):
Right.
So it could be that, you know,you have a memory that is.
To me completely unrelated, maybe evento you, but there's a similar feeling
around it or there's, there's somethingin honestly, even if it's not the exact
same emotion, there is some connectionbecause it's coming up for you, right?
(11:22):
And if that's the case, ourjob is to follow that thread.
And see where it leads us, becauseit's, it's really about being curious,
putting on our, our detective hats,so to speak, and just allowing
whatever comes up to come up and becurious and compassionate with it.
And that is how, that's how we do it.
(11:46):
Of course, there's different types of kindof like exercises or techniques that I
may choose to use based on what comes up.
Um, but generally it's.
As you mentioned before, accepting what'scoming up and if that's, um, not coming as
easily as we'd like, then we address that.
(12:07):
You know, so it's, we may starton one issue and have to kind of
pause and focus on a little bit of aroadblock before we can continue down.
Right.
Which is normal.
Yep.
I love, I love that you saidfollow that thread and in my mind
as you were talking about that Ikinda was, and you know, I always.
Thought the reason I had it was becausethis nurse reacted so crazy, um, when I
(12:32):
was in college, like your blood pressure'sso high and she freaked out about it.
And then of course I freaked out.
But then I was thinking back, I rememberbeing terrified about it before that.
So it's not just that.
And so then I kind of.
As I and I won't spend all the timetalking about myself, but I think it's
(12:54):
I think it is a little bit of that.
Like, I love life, right?
And so on the flip side ofthat is I'm afraid to die.
And I've you know, and I've alreadyI've already kind of looked at that
because I've been doing the work andand I think that that would probably
be where the thread would startto lead us if we were, I probably
(13:15):
should book some sessions with you.
But I think that's where itwould, would kind of end up going.
And so what I'm wondering, I want tokind of review what you did with me.
Sure.
Walk me, walk me through maybe the why's.
So I just remember we started with,you had me tap on the side of my hand.
(13:37):
Yes.
Between my pinky and my wrist.
Uh huh.
And I loved it because you took what Itold you about the feeling and that's
where the acceptance came in by whatyou were, and you had me repeat it.
So, and I didn't have to really think,you, you fed me the lines as I tapped.
(14:00):
And it was, it said, I have this feeling.
And that's where you really go deepinto explaining, you, you pick,
pick like it's in my solar plex, butyou could say it was hot or cold or
however you want it to describe it.
Um, and then when I blank, likewhen I get my blood pressure taken,
(14:20):
when I see spiders, um, I chooseto completely accept and my, wait.
Oh, so I feel that feeling when Isee these things or when I get my
blood pressure taken and I chooseand making a choice to completely
accept and love myself anyway.
(14:41):
And then I am choosing to deeply love,honor and accept myself and my feelings.
And I love that because that's what thatI did do one session that I that I did.
And doesn't that make life Easier,more peaceful if you just accept it.
Not that it's all fixed and better,but it's a step in the right direction.
(15:05):
And then I add it.
'cause you know, I'm,I'm the Christian gal.
I know that I am safe and thatthe God of the universe loves
me and calls me daughter.
That's great.
And you kind of, you had me dothat, repeat that three times.
Yeah.
Okay, tell me what does thatdo kind of set in because
(15:26):
that was the first tab, right?
So that is what we call oursetup, our setup statement.
We do this three times and that's um,kind of the, the format of EFT and
the way that I was trained through EFTinternational is called gold standard EFT.
So anyone who has trainedthrough this organization.
(15:48):
knows to do it this way, whether ornot they do that in their own private
practices, you know, up to them.
Um, and so what that's doing and kindof what you're alluding to here is we're
starting to kind of Set the prime primethe brain for the new neural pathway.
And so the idea with these set upstatements is, as you explained very
(16:12):
well, we're stating, like, even thoughI have this problem, and then we can, we
can articulate that however you want to.
So in the session with you last time,we said these were the feelings.
This is when they came up.
And then we kind of bookend that with it.
Some sort of affirmation.
And so, the important thing withthese set of statements is that
(16:35):
we are voicing the negative thing.
The problem.
The icky thing that we don'twant to have to deal with.
And it's not because We want you tofeel uncomfortable, but we have to, and
I'm gonna sound like cheesy, but we,again, we have to name it to tame it.
All those, they're real.
(16:55):
There's a reason theyexist because it's true.
And so by voicing these things, we'reremoving that emotional charge around it.
And then as we're tapping through allthe points on our head and upper torso,
this is helping to deeper, more deeplyingrain that new neural pathway to
(17:18):
support this idea that you are safe,that you can be in the presence of the
nurse taking your vitals and be okay.
You know, and what I love, Sonia,about what you're talking about,
uh, I don't know if I mentionedthis, but I do a little NLP work.
Okay.
(17:38):
And one thing that I do kind of as apractice on my own, because I've heard
through Bruce Lipton, I don't knowwho, if you know who he is, but he, he
gave a little hint to record yourselfand I have these affirmations that
I say, like, I don't, uh, my valuedoesn't come from what other people's
(18:01):
think, what other people think of me.
So I have these things that Irepeat and as I'm falling asleep,
I hope that they'll like get alittle bit ingrained in my brain.
It's a little bit what this is, isn't it?
Except that we're, is it, or Imean, I could be totally off, but I
thought of that as you were talking.
Yes and no, but there's, there'sone crucial piece that is different.
(18:26):
Okay.
So with.
EFT emotional freedomtechniques or tapping.
Eventually, we can getto just the affirmatives.
Like, that's kind of the goal.
But the biggest benefit of using itis to remove the emotional charge.
(18:47):
Like, the problem, what iscausing our symptoms or reactions.
So, whatever the root cause of You'respiking blood pressure when you're
in the doctor's office if we gothrough the Go through the motions.
We do the work with tapping to getto that, you know initial Whatever
(19:12):
it was situation event memory thatis causing these This problem for
you throughout your later life.
The goal here is toneutralize whatever happened.
Right?
Your memory of that.
The thing is, our brains don'tknow if it's real or not.
So, by the fact that we'restill having that same response.
(19:33):
Or I guess I should say reactionin this case, um, means that
we're being re triggered each timewe're in that similar situation.
And so the idea is that if we can goback, identify the first time or like
the most impactful time that you hadthat experience, and again, different
techniques will be used depending onwhat's coming up, but we can ideally get
(19:58):
you to a place where you can imagine this.
a response.
Then we can d of trying to testthis an get to the real life test
a shift, what has changed sincewe were able to neutralize that.
So I, I state this to kind of explaina little bit clearly how, if we are
(20:24):
going directly to the affirmations of,I just want to feel better now, like
I'm going to make myself think thatI'm okay when I go into the doctor's
office, even though my body doesn'tbelieve it, that's not going to work.
So it's like, We're trying to jumpover like a hurdle or there's,
there's a gap that we're trying tojump over and we're not quite able
(20:47):
to clear it yet because there is.
There's something that needshealing and so that's why I think
some people may have trouble withAffirmations because there's a block.
There's a subconscious block Theirbody doesn't their nervous system is
(21:07):
not in agreement with this belief nomatter how much they want to believe
it And consciously, yes, you can belike, yeah, of course I'm healthy.
I'm gonna live till I'm 102.
Right?
But everything, all of us has to be onboard, in agreement, in alignment with it.
And so that's why, that's the beautyof EFT, it, you can literally have
(21:29):
emotional freedom and the feeling of that.
I mean, it's freedom.
I just, every time I think of situationswhere I've done, you know, tapping
on my own stuff and I know it works.
I know the science behind it, but eachtime I'm always amazed because the
feeling you're just feel so much lighter.
(21:50):
So open and look, and just the burdenof whatever has been weighing is lifted.
And that, if you can give that toyourself or gift it to yourself.
Why wouldn't you?
And I, and what yousaid, follow the thread.
This takes work.
It does.
(22:11):
Right.
So it's not going to happen.
Cause as I'm sitting here too, I'mlike, I can't come up really with an
answer as to where this is coming from.
So for like my homework, where wouldyou have me, how would you have me?
figure this out?
Like where, like journaling, whatdo I do to figure out what is the
(22:33):
real reason that this is happening?
Yeah.
Okay.
First, I'm really, reallyexcited by this question.
So, I mean, if you're, if,yeah, if you're into journaling,
that's a great place to start.
And I would, um, suggest actually tojust take some time and think about,
(22:53):
um, Other times in your life, IE earlierlife if possible, where you've had where,
where you felt the same emotion before.
Right?
So it doesn't have to be evenremotely the same kind of situation.
Okay.
But where the emotion came up and.
(23:15):
A lot of things, not everything,of course, but a lot of things are
rooted in childhood experiences.
And, again, because it, like, ifwe were to talk about it right
now, it might just seem like, well,that, how could that be related?
That is, they have nothingto do with each other.
But the brain doesn't know that, soa little bit of, and you probably
(23:38):
know this already, but a littlebit of the neuroscience behind it
is, Our brains, like memories, arenot like movie reels in our heads.
It's chemicals.
It's the release of chemicals connectingto, to neuron receptors, right?
And so, when we have an emotion, it's justchemicals being released in our brains.
That's why we can have a similarexperience, or we can have an experience
(24:04):
with a similar feeling, a similaremotion, that is now linked in our brains.
Because of the, the chemical reaction.
And so it's the idea, and again,like, I'm bringing in all the
cheesy phrases, but what, what,uh, fires together, wires together.
Of course, that's more along, youknow, the science field, but that
(24:26):
is also true when we are kind offocusing on these feelings that we
may designate as bad or uncomfortable.
When that is where our focusis, those are activated.
And so again, it seems kind ofcounterintuitive, but with the tapping,
yeah, we do focus on that, but becauseof the way tapping works, because
(24:50):
it Is working to support our nervoussystems and turn down like physically
turns down our stress response.
That means that that's how we removethat emotional charge to remove
that kind of like jump scare factor.
So that we don't have to keep experiencingthat in the presence of whatever
(25:12):
is, um, you know, activating us.
Yeah.
And okay.
So I feel like.
When you talked about tell me if thisis correct when you were talking about
it's a chemical thing in your brain AndI didn't know that you're teaching me
all of this What I thought about was Ithink it's a feeling of out of control I
have no control to save like and that'swhat it feels like when you go in I can't
(25:36):
control I can You know, I can't control Myweight kind of I can control How I breathe
I can control Some things, but I can'tcontrol what that blood pressure cuff
is going to do and it drives me batty.
Yeah.
And so now I need to go back to when wasthe first memory of feeling that, right?
(26:01):
Yeah, yeah.
So I would say just, you know, to kind ofcover the bases, like, think back as far
as you can to come up with a couple, acouple of memories, because maybe, I mean,
we'll say generally it's the earliest one,but sometimes we will start with whatever
feels like the biggest, the most intense.
(26:21):
Gotcha.
So, you know, it's kind of eitheror there and just giving a little
bit of thought, obviously, don'tstress yourself out about it.
If nothing's coming up, that's okay.
There are ways to navigate that.
It's just a starting point of what youmight be looking for and sometimes, you
know, other things may surface and ifthat's the case, other memories that again
(26:45):
seem unrelated, maybe it's a differentfeeling, but if it's coming up in your
mind, it may be worth looking into.
Yeah, I love that.
I'm going to do that.
Okay, Sonia, I've had you here.
Will you come back again?
I would love to!
Because I think this is so good and,I mean, I just want to help people and
(27:05):
I feel like if they could, you're so,you're so knowledgeable and I just,
I love how you present this stuff.
I like working with you and I feellike, You would be so great for my
listeners, and so I want you to say howthey can connect with you, and we're
gonna have that in the show notes, andI'm gonna do a little newsletter on it.
(27:26):
But what I want to also know you hadmentioned you're doing something.
It'll be this week.
What?
The week that this comes out?
What?
What is that?
That you have a webinar?
I don't know.
Yes, I have.
I have a workshop of an online workshop.
It's on, um, the 21st, March 21st, 3 p.
m.
(27:47):
Central time.
And, um, so just very briefly, this,the title, I, I think I'm going to
get it right is Nice Try Trolls.
Online events from Zoom bombers.
So I learned from personal experiencelast month that if you are.
(28:08):
hosting online events thr Um, any, anyplatform rea zoom as the video communi I
did a free event because me give back now.
I'm I'm You know, second guessingif that's something I want to do.
(28:29):
However, I learned that it is apparentlya cool thing to do with some youths these
days to join these free events and just.
disrupt them, just cause chaosfor, for fun, for pranks.
And, um, it was kind of ironic thatthis happened in my previous workshop
(28:50):
because that was focused on emotionalregulation for work and life.
So, they kind of proved my pointbecause although, yes, it was
disruptive, it was unexpected.
I personally feel very proud of how Ihandled it because I was able to remain
regulated and navigate as best as I could.
(29:11):
And at the end, yeah, I was not pleasedthat it happened, but I was really proud
with how I handled myself and how I triedto take care of the real participants.
So being able to have that levelof confidence and calm amid
chaos, they proved the point.
So anyway, now, because that happened,I'm Trying to turn around for a
(29:33):
learning opportunity for other folks.
I am charging a very small fee.
Mainly to deter trolls, right?
Do they have to pay?
Are they going to join?
Probably not.
However, I will admit, I am baitinga little bit with the title.
Because now I'm ready for them.
So we'll see.
(29:53):
But that is definitely somethingI would encourage if anyone is
posting online events with Zoom.
Knowing how to have your settingsadjusted properly and things to look
for to better be able to identify ifthis person who's trying to join is
supposed to be there or not, I thinkit's going to be really helpful.
(30:15):
So I'm really, really excitedto share this with folks.
And there you go again goingthrough something hard and
then sharing it with others.
That's why I love, that'swhat I love about you.
So, um, that sounds like a great one andI'm going to have to look and see if I
could actually do that because I do, youknow, now and again do things over Zoom.
So, um, I so appreciate that.
(30:36):
And the other thing that I didn'tget to talk about and we're over
time that I want to talk about nexttime, I want to like kind of do.
Get a little free coaching again, butI also want to talk about Just like in
the moment when you were on that zoomcall You had to you know, I might not
have time to go do all this tappingstuff I want to talk to you about in
(30:59):
the moment how you handle that and solet's save that for the next one Perfect.
Sounds great Sonia, thankyou so much for being here.
Thank you.
This is fun.
Take good care
Welcome listeners.
I'm really excited that you'rehere and you're going to be happy
to know that Sonia Petruska.
Is back.
And if you remember, she joinedus a little over a month ago and.
help me with some tapping,which was really new to me.,
(00:21):
if you want to go back and listen, and I'mgoing to go over the steps again, since
I have Sonya here, but we wanted to seehow Lisa did after that tapping practice.
What my fear was, was gettingmy blood pressure taken, which
has been a fear for years.
It doesn't make any sense.
I know that it's stupid.
(00:43):
I, I've had my heart tested.
You know, I know my heart is fine.
And yet it's those neural pathways,right, that we kind of talked about.
And so Sonia helped me by tapping,and Sonia this is what, and I only
did it once, and I never went backand listened to do the steps again.
Now I'm prepared to talk about them again.
(01:05):
Okay.
And when I went in to get myblood pressure taken, it was high.
However, I was a little, Iwas more accepting of it.
So interestingly enough, I, I walkedin and it was a male nurse and he
sat down and I said, okay, honey,I just want you to know when I come
(01:25):
here, my blood pressure gets reallyhigh and it's going to be okay.
I want you to know it's gonna be okay.
Don't get worried about it.
I'm like coaching him through it.
And it was, it was high,but it's been higher.
Right.
And I didn't do any of the tabbywork and it, you know, it was.
You know how life can get busy, right?
(01:46):
, so I, today I took some timeand I went back over those
steps that you gave us, Sonia.
And I realized.
How grateful I am that I kindof by having you on this podcast
had a free session with Sonia.
And it is really helpful.
And I think what I really like aboutit is it's not something probably
(02:07):
that you're going to have to keep.
coming back for over and over again.
I mean, maybe as life goes on.
But I think if you could work withSonia for, you know, I don't know,
do you do our increments, Sonia?
Yeah, sessions are an hour, butI like to, um, offer packages
because it's kind of like anything.
If we're comparing it to, you know,traditional western therapy, you're not
(02:31):
gonna go from one session and that's it.
Right.
Make sure that whatever your issue ofconcern is, we give it the time and
space it needs to work through it.
Sure.
Um, but which, which I understand becauseas I said, I had my one session now I get
to have you back again to talk through it.
(02:51):
But I thought what was reallyinteresting as well, I was kind
of re listening to what she walkedme through with the tapping.
A big part of it is torecognize what you're feeling.
So if there's something thatyou're afraid of, like me with
my blood pressure, you had me.
talk about how that felt and I saidafraid, afraid something was going to
(03:14):
be wrong and you and this is what I dowhen I coach people on their mindset.
You said, um, where is it?
So you're connectingit to your body, right?
And so is this something thatwe're always going to do?
Is this kind of a step in the process?
So say I'm a little bit afraid ofa horse that I have who is huge.
(03:35):
So I think about that horse because Ithink I talked to you about this before.
And I, and I think about how Ifeel and I really, really delve in.
And if anyone wants a feelingswheel, it's in my resource page.
Just go grab it.
Cause get real specific.
And I think even like, is it hot or cold?
Is it because you used what Itold you as you walked me through.
(04:01):
The tapping.
Do you want to talk a little bit about howthat helps you heal through this process?
Getting, getting to know whatthose feelings really are?
Yeah, of course.
When do I not want to talk about that?
(04:21):
Um, I want to rewind just a tiny bitand um, And just mentioned briefly about
your, um, I guess the white coat syndromeor I guess, yeah, um, the piece that you
mentioned about accepting that the numberwas high, that in itself is huge because.
(04:44):
Ultimately, yes, it's about the emotions.
It's about accepting what's going onfor us and how it's feeling in that
moment, because the emotion will pass.
It's not going to stay with usforever, but when we are resisting it,
there's that saying, what we resist.
So that holds true.
And, um, so when we're able to acknowledgethe emotions, if we want to imagine it as,
(05:10):
um, actually, um, the, the movies InsideOut are a perfect example of this, right?
Like, think of your emotionsa little differently.
People or you know, wholive inside you, right?
Yes.
And they want to be acknowledged.
So when they're acting up, that is a sign.
They need some attention, theyneed some acknowledgement.
(05:30):
And so when we do the tapping, yes,we wanna voice what's coming up.
So for the example of, of, um,fear or what, I'm sorry, what was
the one that you mentioned before?
Was it.
You
wanna talk about your horse?
Yeah.
Fear.
Oh, this horse that I have is just hugeand ginormous and big, and I get scared.
(05:52):
Okay, so if you're feeling scared,yeah, we're gonna voice that if
there's something else going on.
So maybe you have this fear aboutbeing around the giant horse.
Maybe there's some resistanceof even approaching.
There could be different emotions thatcome up, and that's normal for one,
because as humans we're multifaceted.
(06:14):
We can have.
Different emotions at the same timeas part of the beauty of us as beings.
And so in that instance, wewould want to determine which of
these emotions feels the biggest.
If there is one that ismore, more prominent.
And then that's what we focus on first.
(06:35):
And like you said, um, finding out ornoticing where you feel it in your body.
is also really important becauseagain, the mind body connection.
Some people have a lot of troublefeeling what's going on in
here because we stay up here.
That's where it's quote unquotesafe and more comfortable,
(06:56):
which again, totally normal.
But even if it's not the emotion per se,maybe you're like, Oh, well, you know, my
shoulder has been kind of achy or tightor stiff for like, I don't know, a month.
I don't think it's related,but that's what I'm feeling.
That's fine.
Maybe it's related, maybe it's not,but it's not going to hurt anything.
from including that because thechances are there is a connection.
(07:20):
I love that.
So you're talking aboutincluding physical pain as well.
I didn't know that.
Absolutely.
Because sometimes our emotionsdo manifest physically.
Um, and I, when I say this, Ithink of a client who, um, she
was going through a hardship.
(07:41):
And so When we were gathering theinformation of kind of the language
we were going to use in our tappinground, we got to the point of getting
curious about what she was feelingphysically, any sensations, and this
was a very vivid description, andI think I will remember it forever.
She's like, it feels like there'sa pitchfork in my chest that
(08:04):
someone is raking up and down.
Oh my gosh.
Like, you know, I think it's, it's a verygood illustration, you know, what you're
feeling good, it can be anything, therecan be colors, there can be textures,
it's, you know, we're not restrictedhere because if it's something that
comes up for you and your, your mind'seye and your imagination, we can use it.
(08:27):
There's basically anything goes.
Yeah, well, and what I like to Sonyais as I'm thinking about this and
about the blood pressure So I tendto like kind of laugh it off, right?
But it does bug me like I want to go andget a good reading I want to go and get
a real reading, you know I want it tobe like it is at home and I think that I
(08:51):
blow it off because they go Well, that'sa stupid feeling I don't accept it.
And I know there's more work to bedone there because I know you've talked
about and that's another reason whyit's good to work with someone really
digging down into what that core is.
That's that's causingthat I think would help.
I mean, that is the journey.
(09:12):
I am just on this journeyto get those neurons.
going, you know, new neuro pathwaysbecause even though we know how dumb
it is and how it doesn't make anysense, if it's something that we've
done over and over again and we don'tunderstand why it keeps happening.
(09:34):
And so, so if we were going to, soI've done like core wounds work.
So if you were going towork with me further.
on this blood pressure, what, whatwould you be looking at in addition
to me doing the tapping and we can cantalk through, you know, how it what it
looked like when you did it with me.
(09:55):
Um, but what would you do inaddition to that to dive deeper?
Say this is our second session.
I'm coming back and I'm telling youthat I felt the acceptance of it.
Now what?
Yeah, so I mean, we would startwith what is present in that moment.
So like, yeah, you'reacknowledging the acceptance.
(10:16):
We both know, especially givenour dialogue so far, that's not
the only thing that's there.
So it's, it's you sharing, okay, thisis what else is coming up for me or what
else is present when I think about it.
And we, we just start with where you are.
Um, ideally, I mean, just likethinking ahead, what I would be
(10:39):
curious about is maybe when was yourearliest memory of this happening?
Um, What was that situation?
And maybe, um, going intothat, seeing what comes up.
And it's a little bit hard forme to kind of forecast how the
session will go, because I honestlydon't have any knowing that.
(11:02):
Right.
So it could be that, you know,you have a memory that is.
To me completely unrelated, maybe evento you, but there's a similar feeling
around it or there's, there's somethingin honestly, even if it's not the exact
same emotion, there is some connectionbecause it's coming up for you, right?
(11:22):
And if that's the case, ourjob is to follow that thread.
And see where it leads us, becauseit's, it's really about being curious,
putting on our, our detective hats,so to speak, and just allowing
whatever comes up to come up and becurious and compassionate with it.
And that is how, that's how we do it.
(11:46):
Of course, there's different types of kindof like exercises or techniques that I
may choose to use based on what comes up.
Um, but generally it's.
As you mentioned before, accepting what'scoming up and if that's, um, not coming as
easily as we'd like, then we address that.
(12:07):
You know, so it's, we may starton one issue and have to kind of
pause and focus on a little bit of aroadblock before we can continue down.
Right.
Which is normal.
Yep.
I love, I love that you saidfollow that thread and in my mind
as you were talking about that Ikinda was, and you know, I always.
Thought the reason I had it was becausethis nurse reacted so crazy, um, when I
(12:32):
was in college, like your blood pressure'sso high and she freaked out about it.
And then of course I freaked out.
But then I was thinking back, I rememberbeing terrified about it before that.
So it's not just that.
And so then I kind of.
As I and I won't spend all the timetalking about myself, but I think it's
(12:54):
I think it is a little bit of that.
Like, I love life, right?
And so on the flip side ofthat is I'm afraid to die.
And I've you know, and I've alreadyI've already kind of looked at that
because I've been doing the work andand I think that that would probably
be where the thread would startto lead us if we were, I probably
(13:15):
should book some sessions with you.
But I think that's where itwould, would kind of end up going.
And so what I'm wondering, I want tokind of review what you did with me.
Sure.
Walk me, walk me through maybe the why's.
So I just remember we started with,you had me tap on the side of my hand.
(13:37):
Yes.
Between my pinky and my wrist.
Uh huh.
And I loved it because you took what Itold you about the feeling and that's
where the acceptance came in by whatyou were, and you had me repeat it.
So, and I didn't have to really think,you, you fed me the lines as I tapped.
(14:00):
And it was, it said, I have this feeling.
And that's where you really go deepinto explaining, you, you pick,
pick like it's in my solar plex, butyou could say it was hot or cold or
however you want it to describe it.
Um, and then when I blank, likewhen I get my blood pressure taken,
(14:20):
when I see spiders, um, I chooseto completely accept and my, wait.
Oh, so I feel that feeling when Isee these things or when I get my
blood pressure taken and I chooseand making a choice to completely
accept and love myself anyway.
(14:41):
And then I am choosing to deeply love,honor and accept myself and my feelings.
And I love that because that's what thatI did do one session that I that I did.
And doesn't that make life Easier,more peaceful if you just accept it.
Not that it's all fixed and better,but it's a step in the right direction.
(15:05):
And then I add it.
'cause you know, I'm,I'm the Christian gal.
I know that I am safe and thatthe God of the universe loves
me and calls me daughter.
That's great.
And you kind of, you had me dothat, repeat that three times.
Yeah.
Okay, tell me what does thatdo kind of set in because
(15:26):
that was the first tab, right?
So that is what we call oursetup, our setup statement.
We do this three times and that's um,kind of the, the format of EFT and
the way that I was trained through EFTinternational is called gold standard EFT.
So anyone who has trainedthrough this organization.
(15:48):
knows to do it this way, whether ornot they do that in their own private
practices, you know, up to them.
Um, and so what that's doing and kindof what you're alluding to here is we're
starting to kind of Set the prime primethe brain for the new neural pathway.
And so the idea with these set upstatements is, as you explained very
(16:12):
well, we're stating, like, even thoughI have this problem, and then we can, we
can articulate that however you want to.
So in the session with you last time,we said these were the feelings.
This is when they came up.
And then we kind of bookend that with it.
Some sort of affirmation.
And so, the important thing withthese set of statements is that
(16:35):
we are voicing the negative thing.
The problem.
The icky thing that we don'twant to have to deal with.
And it's not because We want you tofeel uncomfortable, but we have to, and
I'm gonna sound like cheesy, but we,again, we have to name it to tame it.
All those, they're real.
(16:55):
There's a reason theyexist because it's true.
And so by voicing these things, we'reremoving that emotional charge around it.
And then as we're tapping through allthe points on our head and upper torso,
this is helping to deeper, more deeplyingrain that new neural pathway to
(17:18):
support this idea that you are safe,that you can be in the presence of the
nurse taking your vitals and be okay.
You know, and what I love, Sonia,about what you're talking about,
uh, I don't know if I mentionedthis, but I do a little NLP work.
Okay.
(17:38):
And one thing that I do kind of as apractice on my own, because I've heard
through Bruce Lipton, I don't knowwho, if you know who he is, but he, he
gave a little hint to record yourselfand I have these affirmations that
I say, like, I don't, uh, my valuedoesn't come from what other people's
(18:01):
think, what other people think of me.
So I have these things that Irepeat and as I'm falling asleep,
I hope that they'll like get alittle bit ingrained in my brain.
It's a little bit what this is, isn't it?
Except that we're, is it, or Imean, I could be totally off, but I
thought of that as you were talking.
Yes and no, but there's, there'sone crucial piece that is different.
(18:26):
Okay.
So with.
EFT emotional freedomtechniques or tapping.
Eventually, we can getto just the affirmatives.
Like, that's kind of the goal.
But the biggest benefit of using itis to remove the emotional charge.
(18:47):
Like, the problem, what iscausing our symptoms or reactions.
So, whatever the root cause of You'respiking blood pressure when you're
in the doctor's office if we gothrough the Go through the motions.
We do the work with tapping to getto that, you know initial Whatever
(19:12):
it was situation event memory thatis causing these This problem for
you throughout your later life.
The goal here is toneutralize whatever happened.
Right?
Your memory of that.
The thing is, our brains don'tknow if it's real or not.
So, by the fact that we'restill having that same response.
(19:33):
Or I guess I should say reactionin this case, um, means that
we're being re triggered each timewe're in that similar situation.
And so the idea is that if we can goback, identify the first time or like
the most impactful time that you hadthat experience, and again, different
techniques will be used depending onwhat's coming up, but we can ideally get
(19:58):
you to a place where you can imagine this.
a response.
Then we can d of trying to testthis an get to the real life test
a shift, what has changed sincewe were able to neutralize that.
So I, I state this to kind of explaina little bit clearly how, if we are
(20:24):
going directly to the affirmations of,I just want to feel better now, like
I'm going to make myself think thatI'm okay when I go into the doctor's
office, even though my body doesn'tbelieve it, that's not going to work.
So it's like, We're trying to jumpover like a hurdle or there's,
there's a gap that we're trying tojump over and we're not quite able
(20:47):
to clear it yet because there is.
There's something that needshealing and so that's why I think
some people may have trouble withAffirmations because there's a block.
There's a subconscious block Theirbody doesn't their nervous system is
(21:07):
not in agreement with this belief nomatter how much they want to believe
it And consciously, yes, you can belike, yeah, of course I'm healthy.
I'm gonna live till I'm 102.
Right?
But everything, all of us has to be onboard, in agreement, in alignment with it.
And so that's why, that's the beautyof EFT, it, you can literally have
(21:29):
emotional freedom and the feeling of that.
I mean, it's freedom.
I just, every time I think of situationswhere I've done, you know, tapping
on my own stuff and I know it works.
I know the science behind it, but eachtime I'm always amazed because the
feeling you're just feel so much lighter.
(21:50):
So open and look, and just the burdenof whatever has been weighing is lifted.
And that, if you can give that toyourself or gift it to yourself.
Why wouldn't you?
And I, and what yousaid, follow the thread.
This takes work.
It does.
(22:11):
Right.
So it's not going to happen.
Cause as I'm sitting here too, I'mlike, I can't come up really with an
answer as to where this is coming from.
So for like my homework, where wouldyou have me, how would you have me?
figure this out?
Like where, like journaling, whatdo I do to figure out what is the
(22:33):
real reason that this is happening?
Yeah.
Okay.
First, I'm really, reallyexcited by this question.
So, I mean, if you're, if,yeah, if you're into journaling,
that's a great place to start.
And I would, um, suggest actually tojust take some time and think about,
(22:53):
um, Other times in your life, IE earlierlife if possible, where you've had where,
where you felt the same emotion before.
Right?
So it doesn't have to be evenremotely the same kind of situation.
Okay.
But where the emotion came up and.
(23:15):
A lot of things, not everything,of course, but a lot of things are
rooted in childhood experiences.
And, again, because it, like, ifwe were to talk about it right
now, it might just seem like, well,that, how could that be related?
That is, they have nothingto do with each other.
But the brain doesn't know that, soa little bit of, and you probably
(23:38):
know this already, but a littlebit of the neuroscience behind it
is, Our brains, like memories, arenot like movie reels in our heads.
It's chemicals.
It's the release of chemicals connectingto, to neuron receptors, right?
And so, when we have an emotion, it's justchemicals being released in our brains.
That's why we can have a similarexperience, or we can have an experience
(24:04):
with a similar feeling, a similaremotion, that is now linked in our brains.
Because of the, the chemical reaction.
And so it's the idea, and again,like, I'm bringing in all the
cheesy phrases, but what, what,uh, fires together, wires together.
Of course, that's more along, youknow, the science field, but that
(24:26):
is also true when we are kind offocusing on these feelings that we
may designate as bad or uncomfortable.
When that is where our focusis, those are activated.
And so again, it seems kind ofcounterintuitive, but with the tapping,
yeah, we do focus on that, but becauseof the way tapping works, because
(24:50):
it Is working to support our nervoussystems and turn down like physically
turns down our stress response.
That means that that's how we removethat emotional charge to remove
that kind of like jump scare factor.
So that we don't have to keep experiencingthat in the presence of whatever
(25:12):
is, um, you know, activating us.
Yeah.
And okay.
So I feel like.
When you talked about tell me if thisis correct when you were talking about
it's a chemical thing in your brain AndI didn't know that you're teaching me
all of this What I thought about was Ithink it's a feeling of out of control I
have no control to save like and that'swhat it feels like when you go in I can't
(25:36):
control I can You know, I can't control Myweight kind of I can control How I breathe
I can control Some things, but I can'tcontrol what that blood pressure cuff
is going to do and it drives me batty.
Yeah.
And so now I need to go back to when wasthe first memory of feeling that, right?
(26:01):
Yeah, yeah.
So I would say just, you know, to kind ofcover the bases, like, think back as far
as you can to come up with a couple, acouple of memories, because maybe, I mean,
we'll say generally it's the earliest one,but sometimes we will start with whatever
feels like the biggest, the most intense.
(26:21):
Gotcha.
So, you know, it's kind of eitheror there and just giving a little
bit of thought, obviously, don'tstress yourself out about it.
If nothing's coming up, that's okay.
There are ways to navigate that.
It's just a starting point of what youmight be looking for and sometimes, you
know, other things may surface and ifthat's the case, other memories that again
(26:45):
seem unrelated, maybe it's a differentfeeling, but if it's coming up in your
mind, it may be worth looking into.
Yeah, I love that.
I'm going to do that.
Okay, Sonia, I've had you here.
Will you come back again?
I would love to!
Because I think this is so good and,I mean, I just want to help people and
(27:05):
I feel like if they could, you're so,you're so knowledgeable and I just,
I love how you present this stuff.
I like working with you and I feellike, You would be so great for my
listeners, and so I want you to say howthey can connect with you, and we're
gonna have that in the show notes, andI'm gonna do a little newsletter on it.
(27:26):
But what I want to also know you hadmentioned you're doing something.
It'll be this week.
What?
The week that this comes out?
What?
What is that?
That you have a webinar?
I don't know.
Yes, I have.
I have a workshop of an online workshop.
It's on, um, the 21st, March 21st, 3 p.
m.
(27:47):
Central time.
And, um, so just very briefly, this,the title, I, I think I'm going to
get it right is Nice Try Trolls.
Online events from Zoom bombers.
So I learned from personal experiencelast month that if you are.
(28:08):
hosting online events thr Um, any, anyplatform rea zoom as the video communi I
did a free event because me give back now.
I'm I'm You know, second guessingif that's something I want to do.
(28:29):
However, I learned that it is apparentlya cool thing to do with some youths these
days to join these free events and just.
disrupt them, just cause chaosfor, for fun, for pranks.
And, um, it was kind of ironic thatthis happened in my previous workshop
(28:50):
because that was focused on emotionalregulation for work and life.
So, they kind of proved my pointbecause although, yes, it was
disruptive, it was unexpected.
I personally feel very proud of how Ihandled it because I was able to remain
regulated and navigate as best as I could.
(29:11):
And at the end, yeah, I was not pleasedthat it happened, but I was really proud
with how I handled myself and how I triedto take care of the real participants.
So being able to have that levelof confidence and calm amid
chaos, they proved the point.
So anyway, now, because that happened,I'm Trying to turn around for a
(29:33):
learning opportunity for other folks.
I am charging a very small fee.
Mainly to deter trolls, right?
Do they have to pay?
Are they going to join?
Probably not.
However, I will admit, I am baitinga little bit with the title.
Because now I'm ready for them.
So we'll see.
(29:53):
But that is definitely somethingI would encourage if anyone is
posting online events with Zoom.
Knowing how to have your settingsadjusted properly and things to look
for to better be able to identify ifthis person who's trying to join is
supposed to be there or not, I thinkit's going to be really helpful.
(30:15):
So I'm really, really excitedto share this with folks.
And there you go again goingthrough something hard and
then sharing it with others.
That's why I love, that'swhat I love about you.
So, um, that sounds like a great one andI'm going to have to look and see if I
could actually do that because I do, youknow, now and again do things over Zoom.
So, um, I so appreciate that.
(30:36):
And the other thing that I didn'tget to talk about and we're over
time that I want to talk about nexttime, I want to like kind of do.
Get a little free coaching again, butI also want to talk about Just like in
the moment when you were on that zoomcall You had to you know, I might not
have time to go do all this tappingstuff I want to talk to you about in
(30:59):
the moment how you handle that and solet's save that for the next one Perfect.
Sounds great Sonia, thankyou so much for being here.
Thank you.
This is fun.
Take good care
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New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!