May 13, 2025 • 38 mins
In this heartfelt episode, the host welcomes Tami Wollensak, a successful mortgage lender with a focus on helping individuals navigate the financial hardships of divorce. Tami shares her inspiring story of overcoming her own divorce, building an incredible business, and her journey to becoming an Instagram influencer. The discussion covers the importance of focusing on one's calling, the value of authentic social media engagement, and practical tips on meditation for stress relief and personal growth. This episode is a beacon of hope for anyone facing challenging times and looking to come out stronger on the other side.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
01:24 Tami's Journey and Business Insights
03:39 Navigating Divorce and Financial Decisions
07:33 Finding Your Calling and Overcoming Challenges
10:09 The Power of Focus and Niche Marketing
18:55 Instagram Growth and Social Media Strategies
20:27 The Struggle with Social Media Growth
21:03 Authenticity Over Perfection
22:12 Sharing Personal Stories
23:08 How to Share Content on Instagram
26:21 The Impact of Instagram on Business
27:11 The Importance of Meditation
28:17 Starting a Meditation Practice
35:09 Consistency is Key
35:35 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
https://www.newamericanfunding.com/mortgage-loans/tamiwollensak
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Welcome listeners.
I cannot tell you how trulygrateful I am for my guest today.
I'm actually getting tears in my eyes.
You've heard her before.
It's Tammy Wallach.
She's like my go-to divorce gal.
When you're, you know, you've gotsomething going on with your house and
you need some information about what todo with the home and I want you to know,
(00:25):
go and listen to doing divorce different'cause we're gonna talk about divorce a
little bit more on that, that podcast.
But if you like what we're talkingabout and like hearing Tammy
and I have our conversations.
This settle up live audience cango to doing divorce different, even
if you're not getting divorced,because we can all learn from people
(00:45):
who have gone through hard things.
And I, Tammy became my friend throughthis work we met on the podcast.
Yeah.
So welcome Tammy.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh my goodness.
Thank you so much for having me.
I just love the conversationsthat we have so much.
They're always so authentic and.
I always feel like I come away with,um, so much great energy after we
speak, so thank you for having me.
Speaker (01:11):
Well, and the thing that I love about Tammy is she
is like my calming influence.
I think I just threw up all over herbefore we got on the call call about, ah,
I, you know, rushing woman syndrome here.
But I'm excited today because we'regonna talk about some things and it's
kinda like just about being a, a woman, awoman who's gone through something hard.
(01:33):
Tammy has built an incredible business.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (01:36):
I wanna talk about that.
She's been divorced for about nine years,I think she said she's got a couple boys.
Um, and she really, she'sgot tons of followers.
Go follow her on Instagram.
She's got the greatest littlevideos and I have seen.
Her just explode in that area.
And she is, she's writing books.
She's becoming an expert,such an expert in her field.
(02:00):
And what I want my listeners toknow is I really didn't start
doing my work until I was in myfifties and Colonel Sanders was 65.
Right?
I know, right?
I love that.
So if you've got a little inkling,listen, hear Tammy, how she followed
her calling, how she changed her life,and I, so we're gonna talk about that.
(02:21):
She's gonna share her story.
About her business and how it's kindof evolved, and then I can't help it.
I'm gonna pick her brain about Instagram,which is kind of related to our business.
But ladies, I wanna grow my Instagram.
I just, I don't even do personal stuffbecause you know, I try to focus on my
business, but I'd like to do a betterjob even with my personal, so I wanna
(02:45):
talk to you about that, and I thinkwe're gonna learn some interesting
things and then I can't help it.
Tammy, I need this.
I need to talk about meditation.
And Tammy is not, she's notan expert in meditation.
But I remember one time on the podcast sheshared with me that she started meditating
(03:05):
when she was going through her divorce.
And she has kept that practice up.
And I am, I know there's, I knowfailure isn't a bad word, and I don't
wanna be mean to myself, but I havethis brain that doesn't shut off.
And I get excited about things.
And I tried meditation forover a month and it was like.
Now to like, okay, nowI've gotta go meditate.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You say that the more you feel that you can't meditate,
the more you need to meditate.
Speaker (03:34):
Amen.
We're gonna talk about that atthe, at the end of this episode.
So, Tammy, if you wouldn't mindjust sharing like, what led you into
this business that you're doing?
Explain to the people
Speaker 2 (03:47):
what you're
Speaker (03:47):
doing.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, so I've been in the mortgage business for,
um, several decades, let's justcall it actually like 30 years.
Um, and I started out, um, you know,in an administrative role and then I
slowly worked into sales role and then.
I, um, I went into a wholesale position,which doesn't mean a lot to people,
(04:14):
but it wasn't where I wasn't workingdirect with, um, the consumer that,
or looking for mortgages, right?
If you wanna buy a house, yougo and talk to a loan officer.
That wasn't my role for a long time.
Um, but after my divorce, um, I realizedthat there was a really big gap between
(04:35):
family law and mortgage lending.
And I personally was laid offby a large company and I'd just
gone through a divorce and I waslike, oh my gosh, what do I do?
I was so afraid and I, I tried todo other things, you know, thinking
(04:56):
like I do this other thing here,and it just kept bringing me back
because I knew mortgages really well.
I.
And so, and I was, you know, hadto be the breadwinner of my family
now because I'm a single mom.
Speaker (05:10):
How scary was that?
I don't mean to interrupt you,but to lose your job, right?
When you're starting this new solo life.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
So afraid.
I was so fearful and I was reallyscrambling and make, I made a
lot of really bad decisions.
And through those decisions ofbad making housing decisions is
really what, you know, drew me tohelp trying to help other people.
Because you are not thinking clearly.
(05:41):
You have brain fog and you'rebeing chased by a tiger, right?
And so.
Your frontal lobe shuts down and youcan't think or make good decisions.
And then after I came out of it,I was like, oh, I could have done
this different, I should havedone that different, I should have
done this other thing different.
But that's okay because I learnedso much through all of that.
(06:04):
And, but I really did realize like, oh,attorneys aren't financial people and
they're not mortgage lenders, and theirrole is to get you mediators, family
law attorneys, anybody that is helpingyou get through the legal process.
(06:27):
That's their role.
Right?
Their role isn't to tell youwhether or not to keep the house.
Or to even advise you on it.
Having other people to rely on that canguide you in that direction and make
better sense of your, from a financialperspective, makes for a better divorce.
(06:48):
Right?
Because then you're making good decisionsor informed decisions before you sign
your settlement agreement so thatyou know that you can carry out all
the things that you've agreed to do.
Right?
Right.
And as you go through your mediationor your, your divorce, you're having
(07:08):
to make decisions and you can't makethose decisions alone in a silo even.
Um, me as a mortgage lender, I didn'thave a financial advisor looking at.
The, my whole picture.
Mm-hmm.
I was just right.
Trying to, trying to do it all by myself.
(07:28):
'cause I thought I, I, Icould and I, I couldn't.
Um, so you need a team.
Right.
Speaker (07:33):
And so what, so now, like, I'm trying to think of this through a
perspective of if there's a woman outthere who's maybe not even after getting
divorced, but just ready to start.
Yeah.
Something new.
To be open to what you're learning.
And I think that's what you did.
You had been through somethinghard and you thought, huh, I
(07:54):
could have really used this.
Mm-hmm.
There's a, there's a need there.
You knew your audience, youknew who you could help.
Yeah.
And so you're taking, you're taking,and, and then that's gotta, that's gotta
feel like a calling a little bit to helpsomebody through what you've been through.
That's where you get to, to giveand feel real good about that.
(08:15):
Super good.
Oh, I love that.
And then it's, but it's also, 'causeI'm always telling people like, I
love if you can work in your calling.
So, but there's a whole bunch ofpieces to that, and it can take
a traumatic event to happen.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but you can study up on it and tryto figure out, okay, what are things I
know just like me, I was an attorney.
(08:36):
Yeah.
I didn't really, I really was neveranyone who wanted to go argue in court.
Are you kidding me?
I am a peacemaker.
Yeah.
So far from who, you're right.
I know.
So the minute when I took some time toreally think through this, I realized,
oh my gosh, I'm here to help people.
And I didn't think I wasgonna mediate divorces.
(08:58):
I thought that I was going to just mediateeverything, but divorces kept coming.
Yeah.
And so that, and then I just do doveinto the law surrounding it so that
I could be really informed about it.
Mm-hmm.
But it's, it's a little bit similar.
To your experience where Yeah,it was a little bit different.
I saw the need, I saw the needthere, and I wanted people to
(09:19):
know, you can do this a better way.
And, but it, and it'snot all roses, right?
It's not like all, everything we loveto do every day and I get sidetracked
by other things that I wanna do.
So, but to just like, and I of coursepray, I, I have to pray and be silent.
Yes.
I try to silent this head of mine andlisten to what, where God is leading me.
(09:43):
Mm-hmm.
But that door seems like it opened to you.
Yeah.
And you've kind of been burningforward since, haven't you?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah.
And I've had a lot of, um,naysayers in my industry, right?
Because people are like, well,you're a mortgage lender.
You can lend anybody like you, youknow, if you're a first time home
buyer, you, I could do their loan.
If you're buying an investmentproperty, I can do their loan.
But I didn't, I really cut out all thenoise and I micro-focused and at some
(10:15):
point in my career, um, there was a book,and I think it's called like the Blue
Ocean, and I talk, I've talked about thisbefore and I, the premise of the book is
basically like when you have really goodfocus and you niche down, like niche,
niche down, then you know everybody else'sin your industry is kind of out in the
(10:39):
waters, like where all the sharks are.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Everybody kind of going after the same client.
Mm-hmm.
The same person trying to help thesame, because that's easy, right?
It's like easy when, when refibooms are happening or when rates
are really good, like over covid.
Everybody was getting all thisbusiness and I was over here.
In the calm waters.
(11:04):
In the blue ocean.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Where nobody was helping anybody through their divorces.
Nobody want, nobody in my industrywants to learn the language of divorce.
Like you guys speak a wholedifferent language, Lisa, right?
Like mm-hmm.
Settlement agreements and MSA andsupport and all these words that
(11:29):
traditional mortgage lenders don't know,don't know the right questions to ask.
Don't know how to work with mediatorsor family law attorneys because they're,
they're fearful of what they don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
They only know their lane.
So when you can bridge that gap, and Ilearned that whole new language of divorce
and what people could and couldn't doand what they were trying to accomplish.
And um, it made a big difference.
Um,
Speaker (12:03):
well, and what I wanna commend you on Tammy, is you are the sole
breadwinner, you know, for your family.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
How courageous you are.
So courageous lady for you to be ableto really focus in on where you, because
not everybody was knew they needed you.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah.
I
Speaker (12:24):
mean I think those years I think people are starting to
understand because of the housingmarket, but I don't, I think you kind
of had that was, had to be scary.
Like, well why don't I just gojump on here and get all this
money and work with these people'cause they know how to do it.
But yet you stayed dialedin to your true calling.
How'd you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Well, I also felt though, in, in, um, you know, I also felt
there was a lot of competition.
I.
Okay.
In my, you know, we all know amortgage lender or five, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like you all could say like, I knowthis mo mortgage broker down the
street, or I know this guy at thebank, or I know this other person here.
(13:05):
Um, so there was a lot ofcompetition and I was, you
know, no spring chicken anymore.
So, so it's like, how do I competein my particular town where I live?
There's a very large lenderthat, you know, he, um, he owns
(13:26):
the town, so to speak, right?
You know, he's got a billboardon the biggest intersection.
He, you know, everybody knows him.
He sponsors everything.
His name's everywhere.
Like there was just a hugeamount of competition that I
was trying to get away from.
So I was like, not only can Iget away from that competition of
(13:47):
having to, you know, compete withthis person that's well liked.
He is a very kind per, he's a friend.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Like I made, I befriendedhim over a time because of
Speaker (13:57):
course you did.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Like, I just wanted to know who this person was and what he was all about.
In fact, we just went to breakfastlast week, you know, and anyways, so
I really was like, how do I compete?
How do I do what I'm doingand how do I ha help people?
I knew I wanted to be, I wanted to putmy feet on the ground every day and
be passionate about what I do and notfeel like it was just a transaction.
(14:26):
And when I am sitting on a Zoom call orin front of somebody and their, their
energy is in the place that I was.
And they're afraid and I can give themsome hope and I can give them assurance
or even give them the information.
Sometimes it's not what they want to hear.
(14:47):
Right.
Sometimes it's not.
Sometimes I get a lot of tears, right?
Like they think it's one thing and thenI explain to 'em that's another thing.
And they're, they don't understand.
Um, and they, it's not whatthey wanted to hear, right?
Because it's a legal process and a lotof times it's a financial process, right?
(15:10):
Breaking up all your assetsand all that kind of stuff.
Um, but I come at it witha very empathetic heart.
Mm-hmm.
And I think people feel that from me.
'cause I say, look, when Iwent through my divorce, yeah.
I can come at it.
Like, I know what you're feeling.
I know you're afraid.
(15:31):
I know the house feels.
Very safe to you becausethat's where you live.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And it's a very emotional tie to the marital home.
That's where you may have thrownparties where your kids grew up.
Your kids might havebeen born in the house.
Your, your, your, your friends came over.
You have great memories, butsometimes you have bad memories too.
Speaker (15:55):
Right,
Speaker 2 (15:56):
right.
So taking some of that emotion outor helping them see past that, that
there could be a light on the otherside without necessarily being
tied to that piece of real estate.
Speaker (16:12):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
What did those options look like?
And then if at the end of the day Itell everybody, if at the end of the
day you know all of your options and youpick whatever's right for you and your
family, then that's the right answer.
Speaker (16:28):
Well, and you, no one better than you to say that because as you
keep talking, I do keep thinking,Tammy, about how you really did
stay clear on what you were doing.
You did not sway awayfrom who you were helping.
Um, which is gonna kindalead us into Instagram.
And the reason this is hittingme is because I'm a person who
(16:53):
can get a little lettuce astray.
Well, maybe I'll do a few adoptions.
Well, maybe I'll, you know, and I, I'vegot, well, this, this podcast was born
of me going through something hard andwanting to help women, you know, feel
empowered and less afraid, which iswhat I was doing for the divorce crowd.
(17:15):
So I kinda, I'm a littlejelly at your focus and that
you are so comfortable in it.
I love that.
I love that about you.
And I'm gonna learn from you andI'm gonna read the blue ocean.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Well, I haven't always been right.
I did, like I said, there was alot of noise to tell me, like, you,
you know, you would do so much morevolume, you'd close so many more
loans, especially when everybody wastrying to assume their mortgages.
Yeah.
Um, that does nothing for me.
Right.
I'm a mortgage lender and Imake money by closing loans.
(17:51):
Right.
But.
That's, that's okay.
Because when I started understandingwhat that process was about, I was
like, oh, um, that may be good forsome people, but not in all cases.
Right.
Right.
And if I'm in front of enough peopleand can explain the process and where,
(18:12):
where the gaps are within that, um,and I kind of became an expert at that.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Um, then I was able to dial in and like I said, if it was right
for them and their family, guess what?
People that assumed their mortgagesand then referred their friend to me
that couldn't assume their mortgage.
Right.
It just all, that's howthe universe works, right.
It just, if you do the right thingand give people the right direction.
(18:43):
They're just super eternally.
I have people that come back to me.
I talked to you two yearsago, or I talked to, right.
Like I assumed my mortgage and nowI'm selling and buying something new.
Speaker (18:54):
Yep, yep.
Which I think, okay, so now I wannatalk a little bit about that Instagram.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Hmm.
Speaker (19:00):
Because I think when I first met you, I don't think
you had a lot of followers.
I didn't.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Now in October of last year, I know these numbers 'cause
I think it's the baffling as well.
Well, I love it.
Tell me where you were in October.
October of 24, I had 800 followers.
Speaker (19:24):
Okay.
So that's even, I'm a little underthat right now on the divorce podcast.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then what ha And I just sit there.
I don't know.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I
Speaker (19:34):
did too.
Okay.
So,
Speaker 2 (19:35):
well, I actually hired people.
Okay.
At some point to post for me.
'cause I thought that that could do it.
Right.
Because if you, you know, social mediais like this baffling thing that um,
you know, just people just post onit, just post your stuff on there.
But if you know about it and once youstart learning, you can post all day
(19:57):
long and if only 10 people are seeingit, it's kind of a waste of energy.
Right.
Right.
The same 10 people see your stuff.
Like, it's your mom and your sister,auntie Mary, and they always like it.
And you're like,
Speaker (20:18):
so, okay.
But I don't think that when you hiredpeople that it made that big of a
difference or did it, I thought was
Speaker 2 (20:25):
actually the opposite.
Speaker (20:27):
So tell me what changed?
So I paid
Speaker 2 (20:28):
all this money for people to post and to have these beautiful
graphics and do all this stuffand you know, and it did nothing.
I wasn't growing.
And I was like, why ismy Instagram not growing?
Like, you're posting, you'redoing the things, you know.
'cause social media is social.
If you are gonna be on social media, youhave, people will look for community.
(20:52):
They look for a connection with you.
They look for just like you would.
Mm-hmm.
Who do you follow?
Who do you like?
Who do you like, oh, here's their video.
You like people that are authentic.
I think people are getting more awayfrom the very, um, edited videos where
(21:13):
they look really professional, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Um,
Speaker 2 (21:18):
people like that.
People are sitting on their bed, theedge of their bed, talking to them
like, it's like you're their sister.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Um, I got away from feeling that I needed to be, have my makeup and
hair done all the time, and I neededto present this certain image because
Lisa, if I got on a call with you, Iwould just be like, we would just be
like, well, this is what we just did.
Right.
We're not, yeah.
(21:47):
All made up and you know, like, like,you know, if we were gonna go out to a,
a ball or something, you know mm-hmm.
We're just girls.
Right.
Talking and people like that.
And if you've ever listened to podcasts, Ithink the draw with podcasts is you almost
feel like you're sitting in the same roomwith two people that are just chatting.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And that was when I realized like, oh, my Instagram, I needed to be
able to connect with people, connectwith people that are going through
something that I went through that may,that I may put some my, my spin on.
Um, a certain way that I looked atmy divorce, how I felt when I was
(22:35):
going through my divorce, like whatit made me feel like, give them hope
that there's light on the other side.
So is it kind of your story?
Is it kind of sharing your story?
Or?
If I see something that hitsme, I'm like, oh, I love that.
I'm gonna share that.
(22:56):
Right, right.
And that's when things are like, oh,other people feel this way, then they
start sharing it with their friends.
Speaker (23:06):
Okay.
So I love that.
So, sh I don't even see, I'm agrandma, I don't know much about this.
So when you, like, I'll seesomething that I like and
sometimes I'll put it on my story.
Mm-hmm.
Is that how you share itor is there a different,
Speaker 2 (23:21):
you know how you click the arrow?
Yep.
And then you can actually, so Isend it a lot of stuff to my kids.
They get annoyed, but I'llsee a reel or something.
Yes.
That strikes me as funny.
They never, I don't even know ifthey look at it, but they, I'm always
like, didn't you see that real I sent?
But anyways, yeah, that's how you,so you can share it and you can
(23:43):
click it and make it a link, right.
So that you can text it to somebodyor email it to somebody or whatever
and be like, isn't that funny?
Or Right.
You know, something that hit you as beingcute or funny or, you know, whatever.
Um, uh, impactful.
And then, um, so people share.
(24:06):
Instagram really likes thingsthat people are sharing or saving.
And I get, a lot of timespeople share, save a lot of my
posts, like for later maybe.
Because as we know, divorceis a long process sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes you're in contemplationstage and you haven't even told
your spouse you're getting,you wanna get a divorce yet.
(24:29):
Right.
So things may be coming up, you maybe researching, you may be looking
at stuff, you may be, you know, justtrying to get all your ducks in a row.
Speaker (24:40):
Yep.
Okay.
So you started sharing some stories.
Mm-hmm.
You started doing more videos andthey're not always videos of you.
Yeah.
Where are you doing those videos?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
They, so I just use, um, like sites like Canva or you know, where you
can pull, um, graphics or you can pullvideo from, and then you just put whatever
words you feel like are impactful.
Right.
And how,
Speaker (25:10):
how often are you doing that?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I, I do my Instagram every day, but I'm kind of obsessed with it
now because I've seen, when you seesuccess from something, you're like, oh,
Speaker (25:21):
so tell me how much time does that take
Speaker 2 (25:24):
now?
I could do a post in five minutes.
Right.
So is it five minutes a day?
Is it could be.
You know, I posted a video this morningwhere I was standing right here.
You could go on my Instagram right now.
I was standing right where I'm standingright now talking to you, and I was
like, oh, I'm gonna do a quick video.
(25:45):
I did a quick video.
I didn't analyze it.
Yep.
I didn't script it.
I just said, this is what I wanna say.
I said it, and I think itwas about why I do what I do.
That's exactly what I did.
I said, people ask me allthe time why I do what I do.
And I said, I do what I do becauseI want to help women, believe it
(26:10):
or not, my Instagram, even thoughmen do follow me on Instagram.
Um, but my, um, but my analyticsare more about 80% are women
Speaker (26:21):
and I need And tell, tell us now, Tammy, how many followers do you have?
I think I'm close to 40,000.
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Super crazy.
Speaker (26:31):
I love that.
For you, do you get a lotof business from Instagram?
Ton.
Tons.
Okay.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (26:38):
that is just so everybody that's on my calendar,
most people are on my calendar.
I think my calendar's bookedout through May right now.
Speaker (26:47):
Wow.
And they're mostly from Instagram?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah.
'cause I have a, where did you, youknow, obviously if, um, like you
refer a client or somebody to me,you would email me and then I would.
You know, fit them in or whatever.
But if somebody just drops onmy calendar unintentionally,
it's usually from social media.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
That
Speaker (27:08):
is so, so cool.
Okay, and here's the thing.
I'm looking at the time and we'relike almost outta time, and I have
to, we have to talk about meditationbecause sweetheart, I need it.
I need your calm demeanor.
Ha.
But have you always been calm?
Do you think I so, no.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
You know what my nickname, you know what my nickname was for
years in the mortgage business.
No, this will make you laugh.
The redhead tornado.
Speaker (27:36):
Okay.
That does make me laughbecause I'm not killing you.
Kidding?
You're like my chillest friend.
You're seem, you're so like I love it.
I mean, it's like a nicebro, like fresh air for Lisa.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Wow.
Because that is that.
So, yeah.
So I, um, I've been meditating now.
I was off and on just likewe do with any practice.
It's like a practice, likeyoga is a practice, right?
Mm-hmm.
You have to learn howto do it, how to sit.
You're not trying to push outthese thoughts that you have, Lisa.
(28:14):
Nobody can do that.
Speaker (28:17):
So what do, so, okay, let's just do a quick little three minute course on,
if I were to start doing this, what would
Speaker 2 (28:25):
you, I, if I, if you wanted to start meditating, I would
start with a guided meditation
Speaker (28:33):
and I'm super duper Christian.
Mm-hmm.
So that sometimes I getafraid of these guided ones.
I know there's a paused.
That's
Speaker 2 (28:41):
interesting that you said that because I was having a conversation
with my mother about it, and shelooked on one of the sites that I, um.
Somebody that I follow, andthat's a retreat that I went to.
This, there's science behind this.
This is not like, um, there'sactual science, right?
(29:02):
Yeah.
There we're all made up of energyand the more, you know, the more
you focus on certain things.
Mm-hmm.
And a lot of times when people havesickness, it's energy that's bound up.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Um, and you probablybelieve in that, right?
Oh,
Speaker (29:18):
I absolutely, in fact, in my show notes, I always have JJ Zas.
Um, it's a core wounds course that I took
Speaker 2 (29:27):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Talks
Speaker (29:28):
a lot about mm-hmm.
Things like that.
So, no, I'm following you there.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker (29:34):
So, um.
And here's, I like want it to be fun.
Like I want it to besomething I look like.
I honestly am a personwho loves to work out.
I could, I could probably have beena trainer because I just love it.
Yeah.
It just gives me energy and it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Mm-hmm.
But
Speaker (29:50):
for some reason sitting down and quieting my mind is about
the hardest thing I could ever do.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Well, you're not really trying to quiet your mind.
You're trying to allow the thoughts tocome in and go out and you're trying
to, that's why a guided meditation.
I follow Dr.
Joe Dispenza, which,
Speaker (30:10):
oh yeah, I've, I think I've looked at some of his stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah.
And he's got a lot of, if you go onYouTube, there's a lot of testimonials
of people that have had some seriouschronic and cancers and all kinds
of things that have really, um, I.
I guess, um, focused on theirmeditation practice and, um,
(30:35):
changed a lot of their energy
Speaker (30:38):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
And changed some of these diagnoses, so like,
have turned them around.
Speaker (30:44):
Right.
Is it something that youlook forward to doing?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I do, because I know what the outcome is.
Speaker (30:53):
Okay.
And so when you like
Speaker 2 (30:55):
working out, it's not super fun to work out, but if you love putting
on your team, I don't even think I
Speaker (31:01):
see at this age.
I don't know.
I can pick up grandkids and throw 'emaround and run around a playground.
I don't know if I look like great in aswimming suit, but I don't even Right.
It's just funny how that changes.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So now I'm just thinking, so thisafternoon I'm gonna take some time,
like, how, how long do I need to do this?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Try
and I don't have, if you're gonnachange your diet, you're not gonna be
like, I'm getting rid of gluten sugar.
Well, I, I probably would,
Speaker (31:32):
I probably would do that.
Okay.
So I'm gonna, and I'm not,and I do like to think like,
I like to daydream and things.
So what you're saying, it's kind ofgonna be like a daydream fun thing
for me where I let that thought in.
But then how do you let it go, go?
You just come
Speaker 2 (31:48):
back to like, oh, this is what I'm doing and you know where to focus on.
Um, I would suggest doing some, there'ssome apps you can use and Headspace, A
lot of times people use is a, an, an app.
The people like, um, Dr.
Dispenza has, um, walkingmeditation, so sometimes
Speaker (32:09):
that would be fabulous for me, right?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
That you can wear headphones and be outside and are
Speaker (32:15):
those real?
Is that the same benefit as, becausethat sounds like a total Lisa thing,
but like sitting down in a chairand trying to breathe deep is hard.
I
Speaker 2 (32:26):
think that sometimes people use the word meditation differently, right?
And it's just a focus or it's apractice of going within yourself and
just, uh, you know, reprogramming,kind of your subconscious.
Okay.
There's a lot, lot of things inyour subconscious that drive us.
(32:48):
We only use 5% of our right brain to.
Interact every day.
Right.
Speaker (32:55):
And this really does fit in with my life and my work because I know
that I know about, there's some beliefsthat I have that even though I can
look at 'em and go, that's not true.
There's something way deepinside that still believing that.
And that's why I kind of try to go back.
Mm-hmm.
So I totally agree andget what you're saying.
(33:19):
And here's the deal.
I wanna have you back in a monthand I'm gonna tell you I'm going
to actually take 10 minutes a day.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Okay.
Speaker (33:28):
And then I wanna come back and I wanna talk to you and I wanna
see if anything's changed because, andyou know, at this moment right now,
I'm super happy, but I feel a littlebit rushy and I don't wanna feel rushy
because there was a period of time whereI felt, um, very comfortable feeling.
(33:53):
Chilled, you know, just like relaxed.
Mm-hmm.
And, mm-hmm.
So I'd like, I, I knowwhat that feels like now.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't wanna just jump back intohow I, you know, felt before I was cured.
Right.
Yeah.
'cause who knows, that could be something
Speaker 2 (34:09):
so, well, stress strives a lot of Yep.
You know, and you may notunderstand that you're stressed.
Right, right.
You may just feel thatthat's just the way of life.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But your body might be reacting differently, your
cortisol levels and stuff like that.
Right.
Speaker (34:29):
And I'm like all like I got this little aura ring that's
tells me lots and I think it'll bea really good thing with my sleep.
And another thing I think mylisteners know, so when I went
through the catch in the stage onebreast cancer, I went on anxiety meds
because my head was spinning out.
And now I have weaned off of those.
(34:50):
And so now it's gonna bereally important for me.
And if I have to go backon, I'm good with that.
But I wanna see if I can use more tools.
And so.
Let's see what happens.
Let's get back together and thenit'll gimme an excuse to sit down.
Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2 (35:08):
definitely.
And I find for myself, you know, ifI can do it for five or 10 minutes,
then I do it for five or 10 minutes.
Sometimes I can do it for an hour,sometimes I can do it for 20 minutes.
Like I don't, I givemyself grace for that.
I just try to do it consistently.
Consistency in anything we do is key.
Speaker (35:29):
Amen.
In everything.
In what you eat.
In, in everything.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Yeah.
Speaker (35:34):
Yep.
Okay.
All right honey, thank you so much.
I love, I feel like I was just pullingyour brain apart and I so appreciate it.
It was, it was so fun.
And we're gonna get you back sowe can talk about, sounds like.
Okay.
Yeah.
And if you wanna hear more, justhead to doing divorce different and
listen to Tammy talk about all thegood divorce things, but also about.
(35:57):
It's more than that.
I mean, you can listen to itabout divorce, but it's about
going through something hard, so
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you can come out onthe other side and it, yes.
You can't.
The only way out is through
Speaker (36:08):
Amen.
Yep, yep.
And it's from what my experience goingthrough those hard things, it's so
much more beautiful on the other side.
It just takes you alittle while to get there.
You
Speaker 2 (36:19):
learn so much about yourself.
You
Speaker (36:21):
do.
I love that
Speaker 2 (36:22):
it's extreme.
Yeah.
Speaker (36:24):
Yes, yes.
All right, Tammy, thankyou so much for being here.
You,
Speaker 2 (36:29):
thank you.
Welcome listeners.
I cannot tell you how trulygrateful I am for my guest today.
I'm actually getting tears in my eyes.
You've heard her before.
It's Tammy Wallach.
She's like my go-to divorce gal.
When you're, you know, you've gotsomething going on with your house and
you need some information about what todo with the home and I want you to know,
(00:25):
go and listen to doing divorce different'cause we're gonna talk about divorce a
little bit more on that, that podcast.
But if you like what we're talkingabout and like hearing Tammy
and I have our conversations.
This settle up live audience cango to doing divorce different, even
if you're not getting divorced,because we can all learn from people
(00:45):
who have gone through hard things.
And I, Tammy became my friend throughthis work we met on the podcast.
Yeah.
So welcome Tammy.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh my goodness.
Thank you so much for having me.
I just love the conversationsthat we have so much.
They're always so authentic and.
I always feel like I come away with,um, so much great energy after we
speak, so thank you for having me.
Speaker (01:11):
Well, and the thing that I love about Tammy is she
is like my calming influence.
I think I just threw up all over herbefore we got on the call call about, ah,
I, you know, rushing woman syndrome here.
But I'm excited today because we'regonna talk about some things and it's
kinda like just about being a, a woman, awoman who's gone through something hard.
(01:33):
Tammy has built an incredible business.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (01:36):
I wanna talk about that.
She's been divorced for about nine years,I think she said she's got a couple boys.
Um, and she really, she'sgot tons of followers.
Go follow her on Instagram.
She's got the greatest littlevideos and I have seen.
Her just explode in that area.
And she is, she's writing books.
She's becoming an expert,such an expert in her field.
(02:00):
And what I want my listeners toknow is I really didn't start
doing my work until I was in myfifties and Colonel Sanders was 65.
Right?
I know, right?
I love that.
So if you've got a little inkling,listen, hear Tammy, how she followed
her calling, how she changed her life,and I, so we're gonna talk about that.
(02:21):
She's gonna share her story.
About her business and how it's kindof evolved, and then I can't help it.
I'm gonna pick her brain about Instagram,which is kind of related to our business.
But ladies, I wanna grow my Instagram.
I just, I don't even do personal stuffbecause you know, I try to focus on my
business, but I'd like to do a betterjob even with my personal, so I wanna
(02:45):
talk to you about that, and I thinkwe're gonna learn some interesting
things and then I can't help it.
Tammy, I need this.
I need to talk about meditation.
And Tammy is not, she's notan expert in meditation.
But I remember one time on the podcast sheshared with me that she started meditating
(03:05):
when she was going through her divorce.
And she has kept that practice up.
And I am, I know there's, I knowfailure isn't a bad word, and I don't
wanna be mean to myself, but I havethis brain that doesn't shut off.
And I get excited about things.
And I tried meditation forover a month and it was like.
Now to like, okay, nowI've gotta go meditate.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You say that the more you feel that you can't meditate,
the more you need to meditate.
Speaker (03:34):
Amen.
We're gonna talk about that atthe, at the end of this episode.
So, Tammy, if you wouldn't mindjust sharing like, what led you into
this business that you're doing?
Explain to the people
Speaker 2 (03:47):
what you're
Speaker (03:47):
doing.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, so I've been in the mortgage business for,
um, several decades, let's justcall it actually like 30 years.
Um, and I started out, um, you know,in an administrative role and then I
slowly worked into sales role and then.
I, um, I went into a wholesale position,which doesn't mean a lot to people,
(04:14):
but it wasn't where I wasn't workingdirect with, um, the consumer that,
or looking for mortgages, right?
If you wanna buy a house, yougo and talk to a loan officer.
That wasn't my role for a long time.
Um, but after my divorce, um, I realizedthat there was a really big gap between
(04:35):
family law and mortgage lending.
And I personally was laid offby a large company and I'd just
gone through a divorce and I waslike, oh my gosh, what do I do?
I was so afraid and I, I tried todo other things, you know, thinking
(04:56):
like I do this other thing here,and it just kept bringing me back
because I knew mortgages really well.
I.
And so, and I was, you know, hadto be the breadwinner of my family
now because I'm a single mom.
Speaker (05:10):
How scary was that?
I don't mean to interrupt you,but to lose your job, right?
When you're starting this new solo life.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
So afraid.
I was so fearful and I was reallyscrambling and make, I made a
lot of really bad decisions.
And through those decisions ofbad making housing decisions is
really what, you know, drew me tohelp trying to help other people.
Because you are not thinking clearly.
(05:41):
You have brain fog and you'rebeing chased by a tiger, right?
And so.
Your frontal lobe shuts down and youcan't think or make good decisions.
And then after I came out of it,I was like, oh, I could have done
this different, I should havedone that different, I should have
done this other thing different.
But that's okay because I learnedso much through all of that.
(06:04):
And, but I really did realize like, oh,attorneys aren't financial people and
they're not mortgage lenders, and theirrole is to get you mediators, family
law attorneys, anybody that is helpingyou get through the legal process.
(06:27):
That's their role.
Right?
Their role isn't to tell youwhether or not to keep the house.
Or to even advise you on it.
Having other people to rely on that canguide you in that direction and make
better sense of your, from a financialperspective, makes for a better divorce.
(06:48):
Right?
Because then you're making good decisionsor informed decisions before you sign
your settlement agreement so thatyou know that you can carry out all
the things that you've agreed to do.
Right?
Right.
And as you go through your mediationor your, your divorce, you're having
(07:08):
to make decisions and you can't makethose decisions alone in a silo even.
Um, me as a mortgage lender, I didn'thave a financial advisor looking at.
The, my whole picture.
Mm-hmm.
I was just right.
Trying to, trying to do it all by myself.
(07:28):
'cause I thought I, I, Icould and I, I couldn't.
Um, so you need a team.
Right.
Speaker (07:33):
And so what, so now, like, I'm trying to think of this through a
perspective of if there's a woman outthere who's maybe not even after getting
divorced, but just ready to start.
Yeah.
Something new.
To be open to what you're learning.
And I think that's what you did.
You had been through somethinghard and you thought, huh, I
(07:54):
could have really used this.
Mm-hmm.
There's a, there's a need there.
You knew your audience, youknew who you could help.
Yeah.
And so you're taking, you're taking,and, and then that's gotta, that's gotta
feel like a calling a little bit to helpsomebody through what you've been through.
That's where you get to, to giveand feel real good about that.
(08:15):
Super good.
Oh, I love that.
And then it's, but it's also, 'causeI'm always telling people like, I
love if you can work in your calling.
So, but there's a whole bunch ofpieces to that, and it can take
a traumatic event to happen.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but you can study up on it and tryto figure out, okay, what are things I
know just like me, I was an attorney.
(08:36):
Yeah.
I didn't really, I really was neveranyone who wanted to go argue in court.
Are you kidding me?
I am a peacemaker.
Yeah.
So far from who, you're right.
I know.
So the minute when I took some time toreally think through this, I realized,
oh my gosh, I'm here to help people.
And I didn't think I wasgonna mediate divorces.
(08:58):
I thought that I was going to just mediateeverything, but divorces kept coming.
Yeah.
And so that, and then I just do doveinto the law surrounding it so that
I could be really informed about it.
Mm-hmm.
But it's, it's a little bit similar.
To your experience where Yeah,it was a little bit different.
I saw the need, I saw the needthere, and I wanted people to
(09:19):
know, you can do this a better way.
And, but it, and it'snot all roses, right?
It's not like all, everything we loveto do every day and I get sidetracked
by other things that I wanna do.
So, but to just like, and I of coursepray, I, I have to pray and be silent.
Yes.
I try to silent this head of mine andlisten to what, where God is leading me.
(09:43):
Mm-hmm.
But that door seems like it opened to you.
Yeah.
And you've kind of been burningforward since, haven't you?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah.
And I've had a lot of, um,naysayers in my industry, right?
Because people are like, well,you're a mortgage lender.
You can lend anybody like you, youknow, if you're a first time home
buyer, you, I could do their loan.
If you're buying an investmentproperty, I can do their loan.
But I didn't, I really cut out all thenoise and I micro-focused and at some
(10:15):
point in my career, um, there was a book,and I think it's called like the Blue
Ocean, and I talk, I've talked about thisbefore and I, the premise of the book is
basically like when you have really goodfocus and you niche down, like niche,
niche down, then you know everybody else'sin your industry is kind of out in the
(10:39):
waters, like where all the sharks are.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Everybody kind of going after the same client.
Mm-hmm.
The same person trying to help thesame, because that's easy, right?
It's like easy when, when refibooms are happening or when rates
are really good, like over covid.
Everybody was getting all thisbusiness and I was over here.
In the calm waters.
(11:04):
In the blue ocean.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Where nobody was helping anybody through their divorces.
Nobody want, nobody in my industrywants to learn the language of divorce.
Like you guys speak a wholedifferent language, Lisa, right?
Like mm-hmm.
Settlement agreements and MSA andsupport and all these words that
(11:29):
traditional mortgage lenders don't know,don't know the right questions to ask.
Don't know how to work with mediatorsor family law attorneys because they're,
they're fearful of what they don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
They only know their lane.
So when you can bridge that gap, and Ilearned that whole new language of divorce
and what people could and couldn't doand what they were trying to accomplish.
And um, it made a big difference.
Um,
Speaker (12:03):
well, and what I wanna commend you on Tammy, is you are the sole
breadwinner, you know, for your family.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
How courageous you are.
So courageous lady for you to be ableto really focus in on where you, because
not everybody was knew they needed you.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah.
I
Speaker (12:24):
mean I think those years I think people are starting to
understand because of the housingmarket, but I don't, I think you kind
of had that was, had to be scary.
Like, well why don't I just gojump on here and get all this
money and work with these people'cause they know how to do it.
But yet you stayed dialedin to your true calling.
How'd you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Well, I also felt though, in, in, um, you know, I also felt
there was a lot of competition.
I.
Okay.
In my, you know, we all know amortgage lender or five, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like you all could say like, I knowthis mo mortgage broker down the
street, or I know this guy at thebank, or I know this other person here.
(13:05):
Um, so there was a lot ofcompetition and I was, you
know, no spring chicken anymore.
So, so it's like, how do I competein my particular town where I live?
There's a very large lenderthat, you know, he, um, he owns
(13:26):
the town, so to speak, right?
You know, he's got a billboardon the biggest intersection.
He, you know, everybody knows him.
He sponsors everything.
His name's everywhere.
Like there was just a hugeamount of competition that I
was trying to get away from.
So I was like, not only can Iget away from that competition of
(13:47):
having to, you know, compete withthis person that's well liked.
He is a very kind per, he's a friend.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Like I made, I befriendedhim over a time because of
Speaker (13:57):
course you did.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Like, I just wanted to know who this person was and what he was all about.
In fact, we just went to breakfastlast week, you know, and anyways, so
I really was like, how do I compete?
How do I do what I'm doingand how do I ha help people?
I knew I wanted to be, I wanted to putmy feet on the ground every day and
be passionate about what I do and notfeel like it was just a transaction.
(14:26):
And when I am sitting on a Zoom call orin front of somebody and their, their
energy is in the place that I was.
And they're afraid and I can give themsome hope and I can give them assurance
or even give them the information.
Sometimes it's not what they want to hear.
(14:47):
Right.
Sometimes it's not.
Sometimes I get a lot of tears, right?
Like they think it's one thing and thenI explain to 'em that's another thing.
And they're, they don't understand.
Um, and they, it's not whatthey wanted to hear, right?
Because it's a legal process and a lotof times it's a financial process, right?
(15:10):
Breaking up all your assetsand all that kind of stuff.
Um, but I come at it witha very empathetic heart.
Mm-hmm.
And I think people feel that from me.
'cause I say, look, when Iwent through my divorce, yeah.
I can come at it.
Like, I know what you're feeling.
I know you're afraid.
(15:31):
I know the house feels.
Very safe to you becausethat's where you live.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And it's a very emotional tie to the marital home.
That's where you may have thrownparties where your kids grew up.
Your kids might havebeen born in the house.
Your, your, your, your friends came over.
You have great memories, butsometimes you have bad memories too.
Speaker (15:55):
Right,
Speaker 2 (15:56):
right.
So taking some of that emotion outor helping them see past that, that
there could be a light on the otherside without necessarily being
tied to that piece of real estate.
Speaker (16:12):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
What did those options look like?
And then if at the end of the day Itell everybody, if at the end of the
day you know all of your options and youpick whatever's right for you and your
family, then that's the right answer.
Speaker (16:28):
Well, and you, no one better than you to say that because as you
keep talking, I do keep thinking,Tammy, about how you really did
stay clear on what you were doing.
You did not sway awayfrom who you were helping.
Um, which is gonna kindalead us into Instagram.
And the reason this is hittingme is because I'm a person who
(16:53):
can get a little lettuce astray.
Well, maybe I'll do a few adoptions.
Well, maybe I'll, you know, and I, I'vegot, well, this, this podcast was born
of me going through something hard andwanting to help women, you know, feel
empowered and less afraid, which iswhat I was doing for the divorce crowd.
(17:15):
So I kinda, I'm a littlejelly at your focus and that
you are so comfortable in it.
I love that.
I love that about you.
And I'm gonna learn from you andI'm gonna read the blue ocean.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Well, I haven't always been right.
I did, like I said, there was alot of noise to tell me, like, you,
you know, you would do so much morevolume, you'd close so many more
loans, especially when everybody wastrying to assume their mortgages.
Yeah.
Um, that does nothing for me.
Right.
I'm a mortgage lender and Imake money by closing loans.
(17:51):
Right.
But.
That's, that's okay.
Because when I started understandingwhat that process was about, I was
like, oh, um, that may be good forsome people, but not in all cases.
Right.
Right.
And if I'm in front of enough peopleand can explain the process and where,
(18:12):
where the gaps are within that, um,and I kind of became an expert at that.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Um, then I was able to dial in and like I said, if it was right
for them and their family, guess what?
People that assumed their mortgagesand then referred their friend to me
that couldn't assume their mortgage.
Right.
It just all, that's howthe universe works, right.
It just, if you do the right thingand give people the right direction.
(18:43):
They're just super eternally.
I have people that come back to me.
I talked to you two yearsago, or I talked to, right.
Like I assumed my mortgage and nowI'm selling and buying something new.
Speaker (18:54):
Yep, yep.
Which I think, okay, so now I wannatalk a little bit about that Instagram.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Hmm.
Speaker (19:00):
Because I think when I first met you, I don't think
you had a lot of followers.
I didn't.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Now in October of last year, I know these numbers 'cause
I think it's the baffling as well.
Well, I love it.
Tell me where you were in October.
October of 24, I had 800 followers.
Speaker (19:24):
Okay.
So that's even, I'm a little underthat right now on the divorce podcast.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then what ha And I just sit there.
I don't know.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I
Speaker (19:34):
did too.
Okay.
So,
Speaker 2 (19:35):
well, I actually hired people.
Okay.
At some point to post for me.
'cause I thought that that could do it.
Right.
Because if you, you know, social mediais like this baffling thing that um,
you know, just people just post onit, just post your stuff on there.
But if you know about it and once youstart learning, you can post all day
(19:57):
long and if only 10 people are seeingit, it's kind of a waste of energy.
Right.
Right.
The same 10 people see your stuff.
Like, it's your mom and your sister,auntie Mary, and they always like it.
And you're like,
Speaker (20:18):
so, okay.
But I don't think that when you hiredpeople that it made that big of a
difference or did it, I thought was
Speaker 2 (20:25):
actually the opposite.
Speaker (20:27):
So tell me what changed?
So I paid
Speaker 2 (20:28):
all this money for people to post and to have these beautiful
graphics and do all this stuffand you know, and it did nothing.
I wasn't growing.
And I was like, why ismy Instagram not growing?
Like, you're posting, you'redoing the things, you know.
'cause social media is social.
If you are gonna be on social media, youhave, people will look for community.
(20:52):
They look for a connection with you.
They look for just like you would.
Mm-hmm.
Who do you follow?
Who do you like?
Who do you like, oh, here's their video.
You like people that are authentic.
I think people are getting more awayfrom the very, um, edited videos where
(21:13):
they look really professional, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Um,
Speaker 2 (21:18):
people like that.
People are sitting on their bed, theedge of their bed, talking to them
like, it's like you're their sister.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Um, I got away from feeling that I needed to be, have my makeup and
hair done all the time, and I neededto present this certain image because
Lisa, if I got on a call with you, Iwould just be like, we would just be
like, well, this is what we just did.
Right.
We're not, yeah.
(21:47):
All made up and you know, like, like,you know, if we were gonna go out to a,
a ball or something, you know mm-hmm.
We're just girls.
Right.
Talking and people like that.
And if you've ever listened to podcasts, Ithink the draw with podcasts is you almost
feel like you're sitting in the same roomwith two people that are just chatting.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And that was when I realized like, oh, my Instagram, I needed to be
able to connect with people, connectwith people that are going through
something that I went through that may,that I may put some my, my spin on.
Um, a certain way that I looked atmy divorce, how I felt when I was
(22:35):
going through my divorce, like whatit made me feel like, give them hope
that there's light on the other side.
So is it kind of your story?
Is it kind of sharing your story?
Or?
If I see something that hitsme, I'm like, oh, I love that.
I'm gonna share that.
(22:56):
Right, right.
And that's when things are like, oh,other people feel this way, then they
start sharing it with their friends.
Speaker (23:06):
Okay.
So I love that.
So, sh I don't even see, I'm agrandma, I don't know much about this.
So when you, like, I'll seesomething that I like and
sometimes I'll put it on my story.
Mm-hmm.
Is that how you share itor is there a different,
Speaker 2 (23:21):
you know how you click the arrow?
Yep.
And then you can actually, so Isend it a lot of stuff to my kids.
They get annoyed, but I'llsee a reel or something.
Yes.
That strikes me as funny.
They never, I don't even know ifthey look at it, but they, I'm always
like, didn't you see that real I sent?
But anyways, yeah, that's how you,so you can share it and you can
(23:43):
click it and make it a link, right.
So that you can text it to somebodyor email it to somebody or whatever
and be like, isn't that funny?
Or Right.
You know, something that hit you as beingcute or funny or, you know, whatever.
Um, uh, impactful.
And then, um, so people share.
(24:06):
Instagram really likes thingsthat people are sharing or saving.
And I get, a lot of timespeople share, save a lot of my
posts, like for later maybe.
Because as we know, divorceis a long process sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes you're in contemplationstage and you haven't even told
your spouse you're getting,you wanna get a divorce yet.
(24:29):
Right.
So things may be coming up, you maybe researching, you may be looking
at stuff, you may be, you know, justtrying to get all your ducks in a row.
Speaker (24:40):
Yep.
Okay.
So you started sharing some stories.
Mm-hmm.
You started doing more videos andthey're not always videos of you.
Yeah.
Where are you doing those videos?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
They, so I just use, um, like sites like Canva or you know, where you
can pull, um, graphics or you can pullvideo from, and then you just put whatever
words you feel like are impactful.
Right.
And how,
Speaker (25:10):
how often are you doing that?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I, I do my Instagram every day, but I'm kind of obsessed with it
now because I've seen, when you seesuccess from something, you're like, oh,
Speaker (25:21):
so tell me how much time does that take
Speaker 2 (25:24):
now?
I could do a post in five minutes.
Right.
So is it five minutes a day?
Is it could be.
You know, I posted a video this morningwhere I was standing right here.
You could go on my Instagram right now.
I was standing right where I'm standingright now talking to you, and I was
like, oh, I'm gonna do a quick video.
(25:45):
I did a quick video.
I didn't analyze it.
Yep.
I didn't script it.
I just said, this is what I wanna say.
I said it, and I think itwas about why I do what I do.
That's exactly what I did.
I said, people ask me allthe time why I do what I do.
And I said, I do what I do becauseI want to help women, believe it
(26:10):
or not, my Instagram, even thoughmen do follow me on Instagram.
Um, but my, um, but my analyticsare more about 80% are women
Speaker (26:21):
and I need And tell, tell us now, Tammy, how many followers do you have?
I think I'm close to 40,000.
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Super crazy.
Speaker (26:31):
I love that.
For you, do you get a lotof business from Instagram?
Ton.
Tons.
Okay.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (26:38):
that is just so everybody that's on my calendar,
most people are on my calendar.
I think my calendar's bookedout through May right now.
Speaker (26:47):
Wow.
And they're mostly from Instagram?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah.
'cause I have a, where did you, youknow, obviously if, um, like you
refer a client or somebody to me,you would email me and then I would.
You know, fit them in or whatever.
But if somebody just drops onmy calendar unintentionally,
it's usually from social media.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
That
Speaker (27:08):
is so, so cool.
Okay, and here's the thing.
I'm looking at the time and we'relike almost outta time, and I have
to, we have to talk about meditationbecause sweetheart, I need it.
I need your calm demeanor.
Ha.
But have you always been calm?
Do you think I so, no.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
You know what my nickname, you know what my nickname was for
years in the mortgage business.
No, this will make you laugh.
The redhead tornado.
Speaker (27:36):
Okay.
That does make me laughbecause I'm not killing you.
Kidding?
You're like my chillest friend.
You're seem, you're so like I love it.
I mean, it's like a nicebro, like fresh air for Lisa.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Wow.
Because that is that.
So, yeah.
So I, um, I've been meditating now.
I was off and on just likewe do with any practice.
It's like a practice, likeyoga is a practice, right?
Mm-hmm.
You have to learn howto do it, how to sit.
You're not trying to push outthese thoughts that you have, Lisa.
(28:14):
Nobody can do that.
Speaker (28:17):
So what do, so, okay, let's just do a quick little three minute course on,
if I were to start doing this, what would
Speaker 2 (28:25):
you, I, if I, if you wanted to start meditating, I would
start with a guided meditation
Speaker (28:33):
and I'm super duper Christian.
Mm-hmm.
So that sometimes I getafraid of these guided ones.
I know there's a paused.
That's
Speaker 2 (28:41):
interesting that you said that because I was having a conversation
with my mother about it, and shelooked on one of the sites that I, um.
Somebody that I follow, andthat's a retreat that I went to.
This, there's science behind this.
This is not like, um, there'sactual science, right?
(29:02):
Yeah.
There we're all made up of energyand the more, you know, the more
you focus on certain things.
Mm-hmm.
And a lot of times when people havesickness, it's energy that's bound up.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Um, and you probablybelieve in that, right?
Oh,
Speaker (29:18):
I absolutely, in fact, in my show notes, I always have JJ Zas.
Um, it's a core wounds course that I took
Speaker 2 (29:27):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Talks
Speaker (29:28):
a lot about mm-hmm.
Things like that.
So, no, I'm following you there.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker (29:34):
So, um.
And here's, I like want it to be fun.
Like I want it to besomething I look like.
I honestly am a personwho loves to work out.
I could, I could probably have beena trainer because I just love it.
Yeah.
It just gives me energy and it's so fun.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Mm-hmm.
But
Speaker (29:50):
for some reason sitting down and quieting my mind is about
the hardest thing I could ever do.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Well, you're not really trying to quiet your mind.
You're trying to allow the thoughts tocome in and go out and you're trying
to, that's why a guided meditation.
I follow Dr.
Joe Dispenza, which,
Speaker (30:10):
oh yeah, I've, I think I've looked at some of his stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah.
And he's got a lot of, if you go onYouTube, there's a lot of testimonials
of people that have had some seriouschronic and cancers and all kinds
of things that have really, um, I.
I guess, um, focused on theirmeditation practice and, um,
(30:35):
changed a lot of their energy
Speaker (30:38):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
And changed some of these diagnoses, so like,
have turned them around.
Speaker (30:44):
Right.
Is it something that youlook forward to doing?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I do, because I know what the outcome is.
Speaker (30:53):
Okay.
And so when you like
Speaker 2 (30:55):
working out, it's not super fun to work out, but if you love putting
on your team, I don't even think I
Speaker (31:01):
see at this age.
I don't know.
I can pick up grandkids and throw 'emaround and run around a playground.
I don't know if I look like great in aswimming suit, but I don't even Right.
It's just funny how that changes.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So now I'm just thinking, so thisafternoon I'm gonna take some time,
like, how, how long do I need to do this?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Try
and I don't have, if you're gonnachange your diet, you're not gonna be
like, I'm getting rid of gluten sugar.
Well, I, I probably would,
Speaker (31:32):
I probably would do that.
Okay.
So I'm gonna, and I'm not,and I do like to think like,
I like to daydream and things.
So what you're saying, it's kind ofgonna be like a daydream fun thing
for me where I let that thought in.
But then how do you let it go, go?
You just come
Speaker 2 (31:48):
back to like, oh, this is what I'm doing and you know where to focus on.
Um, I would suggest doing some, there'ssome apps you can use and Headspace, A
lot of times people use is a, an, an app.
The people like, um, Dr.
Dispenza has, um, walkingmeditation, so sometimes
Speaker (32:09):
that would be fabulous for me, right?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
That you can wear headphones and be outside and are
Speaker (32:15):
those real?
Is that the same benefit as, becausethat sounds like a total Lisa thing,
but like sitting down in a chairand trying to breathe deep is hard.
I
Speaker 2 (32:26):
think that sometimes people use the word meditation differently, right?
And it's just a focus or it's apractice of going within yourself and
just, uh, you know, reprogramming,kind of your subconscious.
Okay.
There's a lot, lot of things inyour subconscious that drive us.
(32:48):
We only use 5% of our right brain to.
Interact every day.
Right.
Speaker (32:55):
And this really does fit in with my life and my work because I know
that I know about, there's some beliefsthat I have that even though I can
look at 'em and go, that's not true.
There's something way deepinside that still believing that.
And that's why I kind of try to go back.
Mm-hmm.
So I totally agree andget what you're saying.
(33:19):
And here's the deal.
I wanna have you back in a monthand I'm gonna tell you I'm going
to actually take 10 minutes a day.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Okay.
Speaker (33:28):
And then I wanna come back and I wanna talk to you and I wanna
see if anything's changed because, andyou know, at this moment right now,
I'm super happy, but I feel a littlebit rushy and I don't wanna feel rushy
because there was a period of time whereI felt, um, very comfortable feeling.
(33:53):
Chilled, you know, just like relaxed.
Mm-hmm.
And, mm-hmm.
So I'd like, I, I knowwhat that feels like now.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't wanna just jump back intohow I, you know, felt before I was cured.
Right.
Yeah.
'cause who knows, that could be something
Speaker 2 (34:09):
so, well, stress strives a lot of Yep.
You know, and you may notunderstand that you're stressed.
Right, right.
You may just feel thatthat's just the way of life.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But your body might be reacting differently, your
cortisol levels and stuff like that.
Right.
Speaker (34:29):
And I'm like all like I got this little aura ring that's
tells me lots and I think it'll bea really good thing with my sleep.
And another thing I think mylisteners know, so when I went
through the catch in the stage onebreast cancer, I went on anxiety meds
because my head was spinning out.
And now I have weaned off of those.
(34:50):
And so now it's gonna bereally important for me.
And if I have to go backon, I'm good with that.
But I wanna see if I can use more tools.
And so.
Let's see what happens.
Let's get back together and thenit'll gimme an excuse to sit down.
Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2 (35:08):
definitely.
And I find for myself, you know, ifI can do it for five or 10 minutes,
then I do it for five or 10 minutes.
Sometimes I can do it for an hour,sometimes I can do it for 20 minutes.
Like I don't, I givemyself grace for that.
I just try to do it consistently.
Consistency in anything we do is key.
Speaker (35:29):
Amen.
In everything.
In what you eat.
In, in everything.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Yeah.
Speaker (35:34):
Yep.
Okay.
All right honey, thank you so much.
I love, I feel like I was just pullingyour brain apart and I so appreciate it.
It was, it was so fun.
And we're gonna get you back sowe can talk about, sounds like.
Okay.
Yeah.
And if you wanna hear more, justhead to doing divorce different and
listen to Tammy talk about all thegood divorce things, but also about.
(35:57):
It's more than that.
I mean, you can listen to itabout divorce, but it's about
going through something hard, so
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you can come out onthe other side and it, yes.
You can't.
The only way out is through
Speaker (36:08):
Amen.
Yep, yep.
And it's from what my experience goingthrough those hard things, it's so
much more beautiful on the other side.
It just takes you alittle while to get there.
You
Speaker 2 (36:19):
learn so much about yourself.
You
Speaker (36:21):
do.
I love that
Speaker 2 (36:22):
it's extreme.
Yeah.
Speaker (36:24):
Yes, yes.
All right, Tammy, thankyou so much for being here.
You,
Speaker 2 (36:29):
thank you.
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