The episode features Lesa Koski and her coach, Tracy Pleschourt, discussing the transformative power of self-coaching, especially in times of adversity. Tracy introduces her 'Self-Made You' goal planner, designed to help individuals manage their time, emotions, and actions towards achieving their goals. The host shares her personal journey of overcoming a significant health scare, emphasizing the importance of feeling one's emotions and the value of self-coaching and spiritual faith. They underline the distinction between pain and suffering and stress the importance of investing in oneself to lead a more abundant life.
00:00 Introduction and Warm Welcome
00:20 Meet Tracy Plushcourt: Coach and Friend
01:28 The Goal Planner: A Tool for Success
04:15 Understanding Pain and Suffering
08:36 The Power of Self-Coaching
16:34 Seeking Professional Help
17:19 The Challenge of Self-Coaching
17:45 Personal Struggles and Rest
18:59 Rediscovering Passions and Dreams
19:11 The Role of Self-Coaching and Other Resources
20:30 Defining Self-Coaching
22:42 The Importance of Self-Coaching Skills
24:02 The Impact of Self-Coaching on Personal Growth
27:31 Practical Applications of Self-Coaching
32:58 The Journey of Becoming Self-Made
33:25 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Get your goal planner here!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Welcome listeners.
I'm super excited to have you here today.
I am wearing my whimsy sweatshirtbecause I am like off the high of
spending three days with Bob Goff,and if you don't know who he is,
look him up because he's amazing and.
He's inspiring and he makes youfeel loved and it's super fun.
And then I get to, I flew in last nightfrom San Diego and here I am sitting
(00:27):
across my screen from me is my dearfriend, my coach Tracy Plush court.
Tracy, you were here.
I mean, you've been herethrough it all, right?
Yeah.
Like you've been through me goingthrough a really hard thing.
You've been here through fun things.
Yeah.
And you were here for the beginning.
You were the one I threw onthis podcast when I was kind
(00:47):
of going through hard things.
And we talked a lot in thoseepisodes, which I just wanna
touch on this, Tracy, so just.
Listeners, welcome.
Here's Tracy.
If you need coaching, go to Self-Made You.
We'll have her info,info in the show notes.
She also has this amazingcalendar, and if you go back to
(01:07):
the beginning of Saddle Up Live.
We talk about schedules and howthey're so important and they
still, still are so important to me.
And we may talk about that alittle bit later, but just throw
in a little information about thatcalendar book that you've got out.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
So, uh, well, thank you for having me.
It's yes back.
Uh, uh.
Since we last met, we launcheda goal planner that really holds
your hand through the day inand day out progress towards.
The goals that are most important to you.
So the book is just a very organizedway of, number one, deciding what
(01:49):
it is that you want from your life.
So we kind of reverse architect itand we look at what area of your life
are you least satisfied with and why.
And then that really launchesus into setting some goals.
And then we take those goals and wedissect what we would have to do.
(02:09):
From an action standpoint tomake progress towards those goals
over the course of three months.
So the book itself holds, um.
What would that be?
90 days of, um, planningtowards your goal.
And I have a method tokind of the madness.
(02:29):
It's not all about actions.
Most people will think about a goalplanner or a day planner as like time
management or project management.
And I look at this planner as not only.
Time management, but mental management.
Mm-hmm.
Like mental and emotional management,because if you don't have that
(02:49):
component locked in, nothing that youdo is gonna be sustainable and it's
surely not going to be something thatfeels good while you're doing it.
And that's the goal of life.
Mm-hmm.
Is just be present enough to say, do Iactually enjoy what it is that I'm doing?
Including making progresstowards my goals.
(03:10):
So this has just become, the bookitself is just a labor of love that
has finally come to market that holdspeople's hand through the day in and
day out process of achieving your goals.
I have heard hundreds, ifnot thousands of people say.
I always set them.
(03:31):
I'm really good at setting 'em.
Mm-hmm.
I never achieve them.
Speaker (03:34):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And this puts a stop to that.
Speaker (03:37):
And you know, listeners, we all have dreams, we all have goals.
I mean, I don't care if it's somethingthat you think is silly and small,
um, don't go by what this world says.
Just, you know, pick what is it Youwant more time with your grandkids.
This will will help you figure it out.
And you know what I meantto say in the beginning?
You know, I'm so smooth here.
(03:58):
As I meant to say that we're gonna kindof talk today and I think I'm actually
gonna use this on doing divorce differentand saddle up live because we're
gonna talk about how you get through.
A really hard time, like a reallyhard time, something difficult.
It can be divorce, it can be adiagnosis, it can be your dog dying.
It can be like a really, or aspouse dying or whatever it is.
(04:23):
And what I just have to say, Tracy, isI wanted you to talk about your calendar
because I think because of the work thatI did with Tracy before I had my Super
Heart event and my little trauma, um.
It helped me through it.
And Tracy, I was always someonethat didn't want anyone to suffer.
(04:47):
Oh, I just wanna makeit all better for you.
I don't want you to feel bad.
And my poor children, right?
I mean, I, you know, they needtherapy probably and coaching right
now because I tried to keep themprotected from ever being hurt.
And what I'm realizing is.
That's kind of where the good stuff is.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (05:06):
And so we can't, we can't like completely stop the bad some
of the suffering like, but wecan help it along the way as long
as we look at it and feel it.
Is that making sense to you, trace?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah.
And I have so much to sayabout this because like.
Allowing yourself to feel the quoteunquote bad feelings is where the
good stuff is to use your words.
Mm-hmm.
Learn so much from it.
And let's just categorize thebad feelings as pain, right?
Yeah.
(05:42):
We all have pain in our life, and thedifference between pain and suffering is
pain is what we learn from suffering is.
When we make the pain meansomething about our worth, when
we really start to like, ooh.
(06:03):
Tell ourselves that I shouldn't be angry.
I shouldn't be feeling sad.
I shouldn't let anybody else feelangry or sad or disappointed, like
we make it mean something about our.
Worth.
And that's where thesuffering actually comes in.
(06:24):
And that's what I help peopleavoid is the unnecessary suffering.
Speaker (06:30):
I love that.
I love how you just worded that and itwas an aha light bulb moment for me.
I still get 'em.
I'm still growing rightalong with everyone.
So I love that because, and here'sthe thing, when I went through
my hard thing, I felt the pain.
But I, I, I don't think I sufferedtrace, I think because, but it hurt.
(06:55):
Mm-hmm.
It hurt and it was hard.
Mm-hmm.
For a long time.
Mm-hmm.
For a long time I had to sit however I wasopen to, what am I gonna learn from this?
Why is, you know, what is the reason thatthis has come into my life right now?
Super
Speaker 2 (07:14):
powerful questions right there.
If you are somebody who is open to feelingall of the emotions that come with any
sort of circumstance, that's probably oneof the most powerful questions you can ask
yourself is what can I learn from this?
(07:35):
Because it really like takes thatlayer of fear off and it puts
you into like a curious space.
Mm-hmm.
It puts you into an inquisitivespace and you can't be afraid,
like you can't be in this.
Spiral of fear when your brainis focused on the question, what
(08:01):
is there to learn from this?
Now, I'm not saying it can't quicklyshift back because it certainly can, but
when you intentionally focus your brainon answering that question, you'll notice
how the vibration, the emotion changes.
Mm-hmm.
Then the actions follow suit.
Emotions drive our behaviorsor drive our actions.
(08:26):
So we will inherently change howwe're behaving when we change
how it is that we're feeling.
And we do have that control.
Most people have never been taughthow to change the way you feel.
They think that it's just like.
Like planted on usbecause of a circumstance.
(08:49):
We lose a loved one andwe immediately feel sad.
And that really isn't true.
It isn't until we have a thoughtthat we actually feel something
somebody could have passed andwe wouldn't even know about it.
So that just debunks thatwhole theory right there.
Until we have been told, andwe have a thought about it,
(09:10):
we won't have an emotion.
Speaker (09:12):
Right?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Circumstance actually has very little to do with the
emotion that we're feeling.
It's a trigger for a thought.
And so therefore, the point is, is that.
We can control the way we think.
Now, I'm not saying when you'rein pain, you should shift your
focus so that you don't feel it.
(09:33):
I think like we just discussed,pain has a ton of value.
You learn from it.
So if you can train yourself to allowyourself to just sit in it, lean into
it, you'll be surprised at how much.
You learn, but that's the key is actuallyallowing yourself to, to feel it.
Speaker (09:53):
Exactly.
And I think, um, it just was soeye-opening to me to go through
something that was so painful and scary.
It was really scary to me.
Um, and what I need tosay is that it hurt.
It was painful for a long time.
And, um, so even though Ikept, but, but what kept me.
(10:18):
Well, I, you know, I surrender.
I have my, my God, and Isurrendered everything to him.
And, and that truly was life changing.
Mm-hmm.
But I, I, but it wasn't like, youknow, I think that I had anticipated
with all the coaching that I had done,well, I got this all figured out.
I can change my thought.
(10:38):
And you know what?
I couldn't do it that fastand, and that was okay.
And so I don't want you to think.
If your husband just came home andsaid, I want a divorce, or if your
kiddo's sick, or whatever it is,I don't want you to think, oh, I
should be able to switch my mind.
I should be able to change this thought.
It's a little bit deeper than that.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, I would try on the thought of all I have to do
is allow the pain to be there.
That's the thought thatI would go with, and
Speaker (11:06):
sometimes it's there for a really long time and I mean, I would say.
Six months to a year almost.
I was kind of, well, six monthsI was in feeling pretty painful,
feeling pretty, a lot of pain.
Um,
(11:28):
you know, and, and then I think aboutlike, and it still will creep up on me.
I mean, there are moments where Iwill just get so overwhelmed that
I'll just get tears in my eyes,like, what the heck just happened?
What did I go through?
Like I went through that.
What.
And so it's kind of like whenI think about that too, I think
about when you lose, like I have agood friend who lost your husband.
(11:52):
It you, I mean, you can be thankfulthat you had that beautiful
husband, but it's still gonna hurt.
It's that still pain isthat pain is gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (12:01):
Right?
And you can suffer less, but you can'treally get rid, you know what I'm saying?
Trace.
Yeah.
And I think that when I was kind of moreSuzy Sunshine and hadn't been through
a lot of hard things, I don't think Iunderstood the depth of that real pain.
And that, and that's why I think too, likeI can't stop doing di divorces because
(12:23):
I, and I know my pain was different.
I haven't been through a divorce,but I've been through pain.
And I think divorces can be reallydifficult and really painful.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (12:33):
that's why I think if you're in a Susie Sunshine moment, work on yourself.
I mean, because it is going tosave you when you like, learn
how to feel your feelings.
Mm-hmm.
Because it is going to saveyou when you drop down into the
depths of something really hard.
Right.
It is going to, it, it was there, itwas there for me and I, and I, and it
(12:56):
didn't, it's honey, it did not feel good.
Right.
And I think I was always like, oh, Iwant everyone to think I'm doing well.
Ha, I'm great.
You know?
No, it sucked.
It sucked.
And I did do really well because of thechoices that I made partly and partly
because of God and, and whatever.
And, and you know it, by the graceof God it was caught early and, and
(13:18):
my, and so I did have things to grabonto, but everybody has hope and.
Every, everything you're goingthrough, you do have something
to grab onto with gratitude.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (13:29):
I think that's what kept me alive.
And then just like I remember, I wouldlay in bed and I would just try to
think of the things I'm grateful for.
They caught it early, it's cure,you know, it's all these things.
And then, and then I would sitthere and I would just feel.
God's love.
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes I would have to go tolike when I felt love, like when you
(13:52):
hold your baby for the first time,just go back there and feel that.
And then it kind of connectedme closer to how God loves me.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker (14:00):
I don't know.
I mean, I'm just trying to throw thisstuff out here because I think the
self-coaching was so, meant so much to me.
But I think it's, there's more, Imean, there's a lot of work in it.
Oh yeah.
And there was a lot of work in,it's not just like, oh, just
do this, follow these steps.
It's not that, because I alsohave to start thinking about when
did I think that the first time?
(14:22):
Because sometimes you, even though youknow a thought is ridiculous and you
almost don't believe it, 'cause it seemsso dumb, it is so ingrained in your head.
Mm-hmm.
You can't get over it.
Right.
Until you really do the deep work.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Right?
Yeah.
And so just the neuroscience of it
Speaker (14:38):
Yeah.
Can
Speaker 2 (14:39):
help normalize.
The experience.
So you're like, oh, Iknow that's not even true.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I know I'm not going to die.
I know that I'm going to be okay,but yet I can't shake this fear.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
And the whole reason why you're even having that thought
that seems ridiculous is becausethere is a neuro pathway mm-hmm.
That was established when youwere probably two years old.
Mm-hmm.
Your little primitive brain was alwaysout there scanning for danger, looking for
all of the ways you could potentially die.
And so that is very human of you.
(15:15):
And when you realize that just thescience of it, that alone can help you
normalize it and allow it to be there.
Mm-hmm.
Good.
The suffering that would happenif you start to make it mean
something about your worth.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
Yes, I should feel better.
(15:35):
This is so stupid that Ikeep thinking that like.
Those aren't helpful thoughts.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And that's what actually causesthe suffering is when you make
the pain mean something aboutyour worth or your balance.
Yes.
And so that is the verydistinct difference.
Yes.
Between pain and suffering thatI like to get right off of, you
(15:55):
know, right out of the gate.
I like to help people levelset that first and foremost.
Secondly, I would say self coaching.
Is an art that takes a lot of practice.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And
Speaker 2 (16:07):
that was the purpose behind creating this planner, because
it takes you through the exerciseof self coaching every single day
with a very applicable like, um.
Dynamic, which happens to be your day.
There's a very applicableelement to your self-coaching.
The circumstance is your day,and that helps people build
(16:32):
the muscle of self-coaching.
Now, when you get into theextraordinary circumstances, like a
diagnosis or loss, I would recommend.
Reaching out for help.
Mm-hmm.
Getting a professional to coachyou because when you've layered
on maybe like the, um, I don'tknow, just the inexperience of
(16:57):
self-coaching with adversity.
It's extraordinarily hard.
Mm-hmm.
But if you go and seek out coachingfrom somebody who's been trained to
prompt you to, to like see your mind ina different sort of way, things change.
(17:18):
So it's a big ask.
To your point, self-coachingis, is not easy.
It is something that needs to bepracticed, but it's extraordinarily
difficult when you've layered on.
In unusual circumstance.
Speaker (17:33):
Yeah.
Tracy, that is what has been soeye-opening to me, and I think, I
mean, I am, I've been trained by you.
I am a coach.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (17:42):
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna be very, very honest here.
I dropped off the face of theearth for a while and I need it to.
That was what I needed.
I and I, I did not get coaching, you know,that I just said, uh, I need your prayers.
I need your prayers.
You know, and I would update you at mylittle community that I would update.
(18:04):
And, um, and I, I don't knowif my way was right or wrong,
but you gotta do you right?
Yep.
Yep.
But this is what I'm sayingis that I need, I think I
need it like a year of rest.
I needed that because I'm, I'm quitemessed up if you didn't know that.
I'm like, I'm just learninghow to be me as we are.
(18:27):
Right?
Yes.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm not that messed up, but, um.
I'm just learning how to havefun, how to follow my dreams,
how to stop people pleasing.
And so I, I did, I took that time of rest.
I, but I, so I did not eventhink about self-coaching.
I did not do a calendar.
(18:47):
I survived and, and I went back onanxiety medication and that's okay.
'cause I was spinning out.
I was spinning out.
Now I've like weaned off.
Um, now I've come back to.
My passions, my dream,and they mean even more.
Everything is just so much better now.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I do wanna clarify.
I don't think self coaching is theend all be all, or even coaching,
like professional coaching isthe end all, be all solution.
There are lots of resources out there likemedications or like your spiritual faith,
like there are a lot of different avenuesthat you can go and you could take.
(19:33):
Hybrid of all of 'em, you know, so, um,
Speaker (19:36):
well, and I don't wanna downplay the value of it.
This is what, like, I highly recommend.
I mean, we all go through hardthings like we think, like not
talking to our sister is hard.
Well wait till you're like facedwith something like, I might die.
And then you're gonna be like, oh, okay,maybe I don't really care about that.
I'm gonna focus on this.
(19:57):
Right?
So I just wanna.
I totally believe in it for everyonebecause even though I'm telling
you I didn't reach out for coachingduring that time, I know that
because I had practiced it and itwas part of me that it was in there.
But I just, because of my life, I justneeded that rest for a little while.
(20:17):
Mm-hmm.
And now.
I need the coaching back.
Mm-hmm.
I need the deadlines, I need my calendar.
And so I finally started do, Ididn't do a calendar the whole time.
I mean, I just said that,but I, and, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah, I, I wanna just challenge you on your thought around, I didn't
do any self-coaching during that time.
Right?
It's like, okay, well how doyou define self-coaching and
how do I define self-coaching?
Speaker (20:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I define self-coaching as.
Literally getting in touch with mythoughts and making decisions about
what it is that I'm gonna believe.
That's what I consider self-coaching.
Some other people would say, you're notself-coaching unless you have this book.
And you make specific decisions aboutyour day, how it is that you wanna
(21:08):
think and feel, and about where itis that you're gonna be doing and
what it is you're gonna be doing.
Doing at that moment, like there aredifferent definitions, and when I hear
you replay what it is that you wentthrough over the course of six months
to a year, I hear you saying thatyou did make decisions about how it
(21:29):
was that you were to think and feel.
You decided to hand it over to God.
That's a decision.
That's a belief.
That created peace.
That created comfort.
Speaker (21:45):
It's so interesting because when you first responded,
I thought, and I'm like, holy crap.
It was like self-coaching one.
Oh, I mean, through the whole thingon steroids, all I did was self-coach.
Mm-hmm.
So isn't that interesting?
Yeah.
Even though I wasn'tsitting down doing the.
The whole thing was about reevaluating,getting in touch with my feelings, um,
(22:11):
learning what was important to me, andlooking at why, why did this happen?
Like, let's just take a, this is a,a nice, when you have a stage one
that they catch and cure, that's alittle wake up call that's a little.
What's going on in your life that,you know, that would bring that on?
And I think that's so interesting.
(22:32):
And, and I don't know for sure whatit is, but I've got some, I've got
some really strong inklings mm-hmm.
On what it is.
So,
Speaker 2 (22:40):
yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I, um, I also think that youprobably wouldn't have been in
the same place had you not had.
The skill sets on the onset, like
Speaker (22:54):
never, never.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Who had invested so much time, energy, resources into creating
that skill that you were ready.
It just looked different when underdifferent circumstances or under that
veil of the diagnosis, the practice.
Looked different.
Speaker (23:15):
Okay.
And this is, thank you.
I think this is what I wanna say.
I want everyone to learn how to doself coaching and do the mind math.
You know, work with Tracy, do whateveryou can, because I think that's what
made all the difference, I think.
I think it was like it wasbringing me to the point where
(23:35):
I would be ready to truly heal.
Mm-hmm.
Like I truly heal so many aspects.
Not, you know, not just healingthe, the cancer, but healing.
The healing me.
All
Speaker 2 (23:48):
emotional.
Speaker (23:48):
Yeah.
Yes.
But I never would've been there.
I never, Tracy, I.
I was so afraid and such a victimand so judgy and all the work we
did lots of good work, didn't we?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Mm-hmm.
Oh,
Speaker (24:02):
man.
I mean, the, the training I went throughwith you, um, uh, you know, all the
things to, to just make me ready for itand, you know, that's what I, I think
that's maybe what I want people to know.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Like,
Speaker (24:14):
yes, enjoy your life and don't sit there and go, oh my gosh,
something horrible's around the corner.
Maybe it never is.
Right?
But it'll help you live a better life.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Right.
And I wouldn't, I personally, Iwouldn't look at it as like an
insurance policy, like I have to dothis in case something tragic happens.
I wouldn't look at it that way.
I would actually look at it as.
The means to better understanding myself.
Mm-hmm.
Like, look at how you've comeout of this, like, you so much
(24:46):
better understand yourself.
And that's what selfcoaching is truly all about.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
It's the, the outcome is making decisionsahead of time so that you feel in
control, but the path to getting there.
Is through better understanding yourself.
Mm-hmm.
So if you are somebody right nowwho feels very out of sorts, very
(25:07):
out of touch, very confused aboutyour life and who you are, yeah.
Self-coaching is a great solution.
If you are somebody who is.
Saying, I don't know how I wouldever handle that kind of diagnosis.
Self-coaching right now is a greatoption for you, so it serves you in a
(25:32):
lot of ways, but I certainly wouldn'tdo it as that insurance policy.
Yeah, I would do it as a means ofbetter understanding yourself because
it really does make your life somuch more abundant when you can
have these ongoing conversationswith yourself and really kind.
Be present and think throughthe different experiences.
(25:54):
It, it does make life moreabundant and more enjoy it.
Does.
Speaker (25:58):
I, I don't know who, who, it would not be for
Speaker 2 (26:02):
neither.
I mean, I, I feel like,
Speaker (26:05):
I mean, really like everyone, everyone.
That's what I, I guess that'swhat I'm trying to say.
I really feel, um.
I just really wanna share thatwith people, how much it helped me.
And if you can, you know, sign upwith Tracy and, or, or just listen to
the podcast on your mindset and, andjust, I guess the bottom line is feel
(26:26):
your feelings and don't judge 'em.
Have empathy for yourself.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Right.
Yeah, the judging of your own feelingsis what creates the suffering, period.
Yeah.
And then we'll link the goal plannerbecause it's truly a day planner that
is helping you set and achieve goals.
That you, that are meaningfulfor you in your life.
And, um, we have free workshops thatwill help you maximize that planner.
(26:57):
Anybody could buy it today off ofAmazon and figure out how to use it.
But, um, why do that when you canwatch a workshop and have me hold your
hand through the way to maximize it?
Speaker (27:11):
Well, and what I wanna say, Tracy and I told you this
in our last get together, but.
So I, I need thatbecause I have big goals.
I have big things coming, youknow, which is super exciting.
'cause I always say ColonelSanders started at 65.
Yep.
I'm not that old yet.
No.
So I'm really excited for those things.
(27:31):
But this is, this is the ticket isthat before Easter I used, I mean
I used your work, this book, and I.
I thought I was intentional, but what,what do I wanna get out of the state?
And I'm like the people pleaser who wasalways worried about what people think.
And I thought, you know, what,what could, what do I want?
(27:54):
And I thought, I wanna go toEaster and I want to love ev.
I just wanna love everyoneand not, and not judge 'em.
And I wanna be interested in them,and I wanna, and I don't wanna be
worried about me and how I appearand I wanna go and I sit down and
connect and I, I actually rehearsed it.
(28:17):
I think Joe Dispenza said, orwhatever, said something about
this, like rehearsed it in my head.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was magic.
And do you know how much that meant to me?
Because those are things Inever even thought about.
This isn't just about professional, it is.
But it's also about, do you knowwhat a great Easter I had and do
you know the ripple effect that me.
(28:41):
Connecting with otherpeople, had on other people.
Right, right.
I mean, that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah.
It has unlimited applications.
This applies to your professional life,to the relationships in your life, to your
health and wellness, to your finances.
I mean, it's, it's truly unlimitedwhen, and, and it's so simple.
It is so simple.
It may not be easy, but the simplicityof it is seriously picking three
(29:11):
events from any given day, and wetake you day by day by day, and I ask
you to pick three events that you'regonna make a decision ahead of time.
I wanna underscore that a decision aheadof time, not about where you're gonna be
and what it is that you're gonna be doing.
I don't care about that.
Any goal planner will have youwrite that into the blank line.
(29:35):
I'm asking you to make a decisionabout how it is that you want to feel.
Mm-hmm.
While you are.
Executing on that event, you guys,it is a game changer because it will
require you to decide what it isthat you would have to be believing.
And now the like, the effort isfocused on, how do I remember that?
(30:01):
Because once you decide it, so if you'vedecided that three hours before the
Easter event and now you find yourselfat the Easter event, it's super important
that you like squeeze the value out ofthe work that you did three hours ago.
And you remember how was itthat I wanted to think and feel?
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So that's, that becomes the quote unquote hard part.
And we have all sorts oflittle hacks for that.
But as you get better at doingthis exercise, it becomes easier
because you've become groundeduhhuh in your own decisions.
And so at any moment when you startto feel like the uneasiness or the
(30:43):
confusion, that becomes the indicator toremember the work that you did earlier.
Speaker (30:49):
Amen, sister.
And that is what it was likeI was, that I was present.
So I went to Easter and I walked in.
And then if I was going back to theold Lisa where I was like, um, I
don't know if she likes the way I'mdressed, or, you know, whatever your
stupid thought you're ha I don't know.
That's the what, where I go.
I went, oh no.
(31:10):
That's not what I wannabe focused on today.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
There you
Speaker (31:13):
go.
And it, it was like, and it, andso, and you are right because it's
not hard for me to remember anymorebecause I am on the alert to recognize
those feelings that I don't want.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it just takes practice, you know?
And you're not going to buy the bookand all of a sudden be perfect at it.
You're gonna buy the book and you'regonna fumble your way through the
first few weeks, and it's gonna feelawkward because nobody ever taught
you how to decide ahead of time howit is that you wanna think and feel.
(31:45):
But you're gonna get better at it, andyou're gonna get so good at it that
you'll find yourself in the moment.
Of any circumstance, feeling anunwanted feeling and remembering
I don't have to feel this way.
Mm-hmm.
It's completely within my control, andthat right there is the definition of a
(32:06):
self-made person is when you remember.
Mm-hmm.
I don't have to feel this way.
I certainly can.
I'm sure that there would bevalue at a gift and an opportunity
from any of these circumstances.
Mm-hmm.
But you decide, right?
You get to decide.
Speaker (32:25):
Amen.
Amen.
And it's so important.
I never ever invested inmyself until I started working
with you like two years ago.
People, it's not that big of aninvestment to just start with the planner.
Now I really invest in myself now.
It is really important to me andstill have a long way to go, but you.
(32:46):
Are the most important thing, andGod wants to use you to do his work.
So if you're not loving yourself andfeeding yourself, you can't do all
the good work you're here to do so,
Speaker 2 (32:57):
right.
Yeah.
That's why we called the plannerbecoming self-made, because
it's a never ending journey.
Oh, right.
You're always on thepath of becoming right.
You're always learningsomething about yourself.
There is never going to be that.
Finish line of perfection.
Yep.
It's always, you're always in thestate and we want people to embrace
(33:17):
and celebrate the state of becoming.
Speaker (33:20):
I love it.
I love it because I'm stillbecoming, but it still, it still
keeps just getting more beautiful.
So Tracy, thank you.
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm gonna have you back on, we'lltalk about more stuff, alright.
But find her in the show notes,listeners, or go to self-made you.
Thanks, Tracy.
You take good care.
I'll see you next week.
Okay.
Take care.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Bye-bye.
Speaker (33:40):
Bye.
Welcome listeners.
I'm super excited to have you here today.
I am wearing my whimsy sweatshirtbecause I am like off the high of
spending three days with Bob Goff,and if you don't know who he is,
look him up because he's amazing and.
He's inspiring and he makes youfeel loved and it's super fun.
And then I get to, I flew in last nightfrom San Diego and here I am sitting
(00:27):
across my screen from me is my dearfriend, my coach Tracy Plush court.
Tracy, you were here.
I mean, you've been herethrough it all, right?
Yeah.
Like you've been through me goingthrough a really hard thing.
You've been here through fun things.
Yeah.
And you were here for the beginning.
You were the one I threw onthis podcast when I was kind
(00:47):
of going through hard things.
And we talked a lot in thoseepisodes, which I just wanna
touch on this, Tracy, so just.
Listeners, welcome.
Here's Tracy.
If you need coaching, go to Self-Made You.
We'll have her info,info in the show notes.
She also has this amazingcalendar, and if you go back to
(01:07):
the beginning of Saddle Up Live.
We talk about schedules and howthey're so important and they
still, still are so important to me.
And we may talk about that alittle bit later, but just throw
in a little information about thatcalendar book that you've got out.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
So, uh, well, thank you for having me.
It's yes back.
Uh, uh.
Since we last met, we launcheda goal planner that really holds
your hand through the day inand day out progress towards.
The goals that are most important to you.
So the book is just a very organizedway of, number one, deciding what
(01:49):
it is that you want from your life.
So we kind of reverse architect itand we look at what area of your life
are you least satisfied with and why.
And then that really launchesus into setting some goals.
And then we take those goals and wedissect what we would have to do.
(02:09):
From an action standpoint tomake progress towards those goals
over the course of three months.
So the book itself holds, um.
What would that be?
90 days of, um, planningtowards your goal.
And I have a method tokind of the madness.
(02:29):
It's not all about actions.
Most people will think about a goalplanner or a day planner as like time
management or project management.
And I look at this planner as not only.
Time management, but mental management.
Mm-hmm.
Like mental and emotional management,because if you don't have that
(02:49):
component locked in, nothing that youdo is gonna be sustainable and it's
surely not going to be something thatfeels good while you're doing it.
And that's the goal of life.
Mm-hmm.
Is just be present enough to say, do Iactually enjoy what it is that I'm doing?
Including making progresstowards my goals.
(03:10):
So this has just become, the bookitself is just a labor of love that
has finally come to market that holdspeople's hand through the day in and
day out process of achieving your goals.
I have heard hundreds, ifnot thousands of people say.
I always set them.
(03:31):
I'm really good at setting 'em.
Mm-hmm.
I never achieve them.
Speaker (03:34):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And this puts a stop to that.
Speaker (03:37):
And you know, listeners, we all have dreams, we all have goals.
I mean, I don't care if it's somethingthat you think is silly and small,
um, don't go by what this world says.
Just, you know, pick what is it Youwant more time with your grandkids.
This will will help you figure it out.
And you know what I meantto say in the beginning?
You know, I'm so smooth here.
(03:58):
As I meant to say that we're gonna kindof talk today and I think I'm actually
gonna use this on doing divorce differentand saddle up live because we're
gonna talk about how you get through.
A really hard time, like a reallyhard time, something difficult.
It can be divorce, it can be adiagnosis, it can be your dog dying.
It can be like a really, or aspouse dying or whatever it is.
(04:23):
And what I just have to say, Tracy, isI wanted you to talk about your calendar
because I think because of the work thatI did with Tracy before I had my Super
Heart event and my little trauma, um.
It helped me through it.
And Tracy, I was always someonethat didn't want anyone to suffer.
(04:47):
Oh, I just wanna makeit all better for you.
I don't want you to feel bad.
And my poor children, right?
I mean, I, you know, they needtherapy probably and coaching right
now because I tried to keep themprotected from ever being hurt.
And what I'm realizing is.
That's kind of where the good stuff is.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (05:06):
And so we can't, we can't like completely stop the bad some
of the suffering like, but wecan help it along the way as long
as we look at it and feel it.
Is that making sense to you, trace?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah.
And I have so much to sayabout this because like.
Allowing yourself to feel the quoteunquote bad feelings is where the
good stuff is to use your words.
Mm-hmm.
Learn so much from it.
And let's just categorize thebad feelings as pain, right?
Yeah.
(05:42):
We all have pain in our life, and thedifference between pain and suffering is
pain is what we learn from suffering is.
When we make the pain meansomething about our worth, when
we really start to like, ooh.
(06:03):
Tell ourselves that I shouldn't be angry.
I shouldn't be feeling sad.
I shouldn't let anybody else feelangry or sad or disappointed, like
we make it mean something about our.
Worth.
And that's where thesuffering actually comes in.
(06:24):
And that's what I help peopleavoid is the unnecessary suffering.
Speaker (06:30):
I love that.
I love how you just worded that and itwas an aha light bulb moment for me.
I still get 'em.
I'm still growing rightalong with everyone.
So I love that because, and here'sthe thing, when I went through
my hard thing, I felt the pain.
But I, I, I don't think I sufferedtrace, I think because, but it hurt.
(06:55):
Mm-hmm.
It hurt and it was hard.
Mm-hmm.
For a long time.
Mm-hmm.
For a long time I had to sit however I wasopen to, what am I gonna learn from this?
Why is, you know, what is the reason thatthis has come into my life right now?
Super
Speaker 2 (07:14):
powerful questions right there.
If you are somebody who is open to feelingall of the emotions that come with any
sort of circumstance, that's probably oneof the most powerful questions you can ask
yourself is what can I learn from this?
(07:35):
Because it really like takes thatlayer of fear off and it puts
you into like a curious space.
Mm-hmm.
It puts you into an inquisitivespace and you can't be afraid,
like you can't be in this.
Spiral of fear when your brainis focused on the question, what
(08:01):
is there to learn from this?
Now, I'm not saying it can't quicklyshift back because it certainly can, but
when you intentionally focus your brainon answering that question, you'll notice
how the vibration, the emotion changes.
Mm-hmm.
Then the actions follow suit.
Emotions drive our behaviorsor drive our actions.
(08:26):
So we will inherently change howwe're behaving when we change
how it is that we're feeling.
And we do have that control.
Most people have never been taughthow to change the way you feel.
They think that it's just like.
Like planted on usbecause of a circumstance.
(08:49):
We lose a loved one andwe immediately feel sad.
And that really isn't true.
It isn't until we have a thoughtthat we actually feel something
somebody could have passed andwe wouldn't even know about it.
So that just debunks thatwhole theory right there.
Until we have been told, andwe have a thought about it,
(09:10):
we won't have an emotion.
Speaker (09:12):
Right?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Circumstance actually has very little to do with the
emotion that we're feeling.
It's a trigger for a thought.
And so therefore, the point is, is that.
We can control the way we think.
Now, I'm not saying when you'rein pain, you should shift your
focus so that you don't feel it.
(09:33):
I think like we just discussed,pain has a ton of value.
You learn from it.
So if you can train yourself to allowyourself to just sit in it, lean into
it, you'll be surprised at how much.
You learn, but that's the key is actuallyallowing yourself to, to feel it.
Speaker (09:53):
Exactly.
And I think, um, it just was soeye-opening to me to go through
something that was so painful and scary.
It was really scary to me.
Um, and what I need tosay is that it hurt.
It was painful for a long time.
And, um, so even though Ikept, but, but what kept me.
(10:18):
Well, I, you know, I surrender.
I have my, my God, and Isurrendered everything to him.
And, and that truly was life changing.
Mm-hmm.
But I, I, but it wasn't like, youknow, I think that I had anticipated
with all the coaching that I had done,well, I got this all figured out.
I can change my thought.
(10:38):
And you know what?
I couldn't do it that fastand, and that was okay.
And so I don't want you to think.
If your husband just came home andsaid, I want a divorce, or if your
kiddo's sick, or whatever it is,I don't want you to think, oh, I
should be able to switch my mind.
I should be able to change this thought.
It's a little bit deeper than that.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, I would try on the thought of all I have to do
is allow the pain to be there.
That's the thought thatI would go with, and
Speaker (11:06):
sometimes it's there for a really long time and I mean, I would say.
Six months to a year almost.
I was kind of, well, six monthsI was in feeling pretty painful,
feeling pretty, a lot of pain.
Um,
(11:28):
you know, and, and then I think aboutlike, and it still will creep up on me.
I mean, there are moments where Iwill just get so overwhelmed that
I'll just get tears in my eyes,like, what the heck just happened?
What did I go through?
Like I went through that.
What.
And so it's kind of like whenI think about that too, I think
about when you lose, like I have agood friend who lost your husband.
(11:52):
It you, I mean, you can be thankfulthat you had that beautiful
husband, but it's still gonna hurt.
It's that still pain isthat pain is gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (12:01):
Right?
And you can suffer less, but you can'treally get rid, you know what I'm saying?
Trace.
Yeah.
And I think that when I was kind of moreSuzy Sunshine and hadn't been through
a lot of hard things, I don't think Iunderstood the depth of that real pain.
And that, and that's why I think too, likeI can't stop doing di divorces because
(12:23):
I, and I know my pain was different.
I haven't been through a divorce,but I've been through pain.
And I think divorces can be reallydifficult and really painful.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (12:33):
that's why I think if you're in a Susie Sunshine moment, work on yourself.
I mean, because it is going tosave you when you like, learn
how to feel your feelings.
Mm-hmm.
Because it is going to saveyou when you drop down into the
depths of something really hard.
Right.
It is going to, it, it was there, itwas there for me and I, and I, and it
(12:56):
didn't, it's honey, it did not feel good.
Right.
And I think I was always like, oh, Iwant everyone to think I'm doing well.
Ha, I'm great.
You know?
No, it sucked.
It sucked.
And I did do really well because of thechoices that I made partly and partly
because of God and, and whatever.
And, and you know it, by the graceof God it was caught early and, and
(13:18):
my, and so I did have things to grabonto, but everybody has hope and.
Every, everything you're goingthrough, you do have something
to grab onto with gratitude.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Mm-hmm.
And
Speaker (13:29):
I think that's what kept me alive.
And then just like I remember, I wouldlay in bed and I would just try to
think of the things I'm grateful for.
They caught it early, it's cure,you know, it's all these things.
And then, and then I would sitthere and I would just feel.
God's love.
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes I would have to go tolike when I felt love, like when you
(13:52):
hold your baby for the first time,just go back there and feel that.
And then it kind of connectedme closer to how God loves me.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker (14:00):
I don't know.
I mean, I'm just trying to throw thisstuff out here because I think the
self-coaching was so, meant so much to me.
But I think it's, there's more, Imean, there's a lot of work in it.
Oh yeah.
And there was a lot of work in,it's not just like, oh, just
do this, follow these steps.
It's not that, because I alsohave to start thinking about when
did I think that the first time?
(14:22):
Because sometimes you, even though youknow a thought is ridiculous and you
almost don't believe it, 'cause it seemsso dumb, it is so ingrained in your head.
Mm-hmm.
You can't get over it.
Right.
Until you really do the deep work.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Right?
Yeah.
And so just the neuroscience of it
Speaker (14:38):
Yeah.
Can
Speaker 2 (14:39):
help normalize.
The experience.
So you're like, oh, Iknow that's not even true.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I know I'm not going to die.
I know that I'm going to be okay,but yet I can't shake this fear.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
And the whole reason why you're even having that thought
that seems ridiculous is becausethere is a neuro pathway mm-hmm.
That was established when youwere probably two years old.
Mm-hmm.
Your little primitive brain was alwaysout there scanning for danger, looking for
all of the ways you could potentially die.
And so that is very human of you.
(15:15):
And when you realize that just thescience of it, that alone can help you
normalize it and allow it to be there.
Mm-hmm.
Good.
The suffering that would happenif you start to make it mean
something about your worth.
I shouldn't be feeling this way.
Yes, I should feel better.
(15:35):
This is so stupid that Ikeep thinking that like.
Those aren't helpful thoughts.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And that's what actually causesthe suffering is when you make
the pain mean something aboutyour worth or your balance.
Yes.
And so that is the verydistinct difference.
Yes.
Between pain and suffering thatI like to get right off of, you
(15:55):
know, right out of the gate.
I like to help people levelset that first and foremost.
Secondly, I would say self coaching.
Is an art that takes a lot of practice.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And
Speaker 2 (16:07):
that was the purpose behind creating this planner, because
it takes you through the exerciseof self coaching every single day
with a very applicable like, um.
Dynamic, which happens to be your day.
There's a very applicableelement to your self-coaching.
The circumstance is your day,and that helps people build
(16:32):
the muscle of self-coaching.
Now, when you get into theextraordinary circumstances, like a
diagnosis or loss, I would recommend.
Reaching out for help.
Mm-hmm.
Getting a professional to coachyou because when you've layered
on maybe like the, um, I don'tknow, just the inexperience of
(16:57):
self-coaching with adversity.
It's extraordinarily hard.
Mm-hmm.
But if you go and seek out coachingfrom somebody who's been trained to
prompt you to, to like see your mind ina different sort of way, things change.
(17:18):
So it's a big ask.
To your point, self-coachingis, is not easy.
It is something that needs to bepracticed, but it's extraordinarily
difficult when you've layered on.
In unusual circumstance.
Speaker (17:33):
Yeah.
Tracy, that is what has been soeye-opening to me, and I think, I
mean, I am, I've been trained by you.
I am a coach.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (17:42):
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna be very, very honest here.
I dropped off the face of theearth for a while and I need it to.
That was what I needed.
I and I, I did not get coaching, you know,that I just said, uh, I need your prayers.
I need your prayers.
You know, and I would update you at mylittle community that I would update.
(18:04):
And, um, and I, I don't knowif my way was right or wrong,
but you gotta do you right?
Yep.
Yep.
But this is what I'm sayingis that I need, I think I
need it like a year of rest.
I needed that because I'm, I'm quitemessed up if you didn't know that.
I'm like, I'm just learninghow to be me as we are.
(18:27):
Right?
Yes.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm not that messed up, but, um.
I'm just learning how to havefun, how to follow my dreams,
how to stop people pleasing.
And so I, I did, I took that time of rest.
I, but I, so I did not eventhink about self-coaching.
I did not do a calendar.
(18:47):
I survived and, and I went back onanxiety medication and that's okay.
'cause I was spinning out.
I was spinning out.
Now I've like weaned off.
Um, now I've come back to.
My passions, my dream,and they mean even more.
Everything is just so much better now.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I do wanna clarify.
I don't think self coaching is theend all be all, or even coaching,
like professional coaching isthe end all, be all solution.
There are lots of resources out there likemedications or like your spiritual faith,
like there are a lot of different avenuesthat you can go and you could take.
(19:33):
Hybrid of all of 'em, you know, so, um,
Speaker (19:36):
well, and I don't wanna downplay the value of it.
This is what, like, I highly recommend.
I mean, we all go through hardthings like we think, like not
talking to our sister is hard.
Well wait till you're like facedwith something like, I might die.
And then you're gonna be like, oh, okay,maybe I don't really care about that.
I'm gonna focus on this.
(19:57):
Right?
So I just wanna.
I totally believe in it for everyonebecause even though I'm telling
you I didn't reach out for coachingduring that time, I know that
because I had practiced it and itwas part of me that it was in there.
But I just, because of my life, I justneeded that rest for a little while.
(20:17):
Mm-hmm.
And now.
I need the coaching back.
Mm-hmm.
I need the deadlines, I need my calendar.
And so I finally started do, Ididn't do a calendar the whole time.
I mean, I just said that,but I, and, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah, I, I wanna just challenge you on your thought around, I didn't
do any self-coaching during that time.
Right?
It's like, okay, well how doyou define self-coaching and
how do I define self-coaching?
Speaker (20:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I define self-coaching as.
Literally getting in touch with mythoughts and making decisions about
what it is that I'm gonna believe.
That's what I consider self-coaching.
Some other people would say, you're notself-coaching unless you have this book.
And you make specific decisions aboutyour day, how it is that you wanna
(21:08):
think and feel, and about where itis that you're gonna be doing and
what it is you're gonna be doing.
Doing at that moment, like there aredifferent definitions, and when I hear
you replay what it is that you wentthrough over the course of six months
to a year, I hear you saying thatyou did make decisions about how it
(21:29):
was that you were to think and feel.
You decided to hand it over to God.
That's a decision.
That's a belief.
That created peace.
That created comfort.
Speaker (21:45):
It's so interesting because when you first responded,
I thought, and I'm like, holy crap.
It was like self-coaching one.
Oh, I mean, through the whole thingon steroids, all I did was self-coach.
Mm-hmm.
So isn't that interesting?
Yeah.
Even though I wasn'tsitting down doing the.
The whole thing was about reevaluating,getting in touch with my feelings, um,
(22:11):
learning what was important to me, andlooking at why, why did this happen?
Like, let's just take a, this is a,a nice, when you have a stage one
that they catch and cure, that's alittle wake up call that's a little.
What's going on in your life that,you know, that would bring that on?
And I think that's so interesting.
(22:32):
And, and I don't know for sure whatit is, but I've got some, I've got
some really strong inklings mm-hmm.
On what it is.
So,
Speaker 2 (22:40):
yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I, um, I also think that youprobably wouldn't have been in
the same place had you not had.
The skill sets on the onset, like
Speaker (22:54):
never, never.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Who had invested so much time, energy, resources into creating
that skill that you were ready.
It just looked different when underdifferent circumstances or under that
veil of the diagnosis, the practice.
Looked different.
Speaker (23:15):
Okay.
And this is, thank you.
I think this is what I wanna say.
I want everyone to learn how to doself coaching and do the mind math.
You know, work with Tracy, do whateveryou can, because I think that's what
made all the difference, I think.
I think it was like it wasbringing me to the point where
(23:35):
I would be ready to truly heal.
Mm-hmm.
Like I truly heal so many aspects.
Not, you know, not just healingthe, the cancer, but healing.
The healing me.
All
Speaker 2 (23:48):
emotional.
Speaker (23:48):
Yeah.
Yes.
But I never would've been there.
I never, Tracy, I.
I was so afraid and such a victimand so judgy and all the work we
did lots of good work, didn't we?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Mm-hmm.
Oh,
Speaker (24:02):
man.
I mean, the, the training I went throughwith you, um, uh, you know, all the
things to, to just make me ready for itand, you know, that's what I, I think
that's maybe what I want people to know.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Like,
Speaker (24:14):
yes, enjoy your life and don't sit there and go, oh my gosh,
something horrible's around the corner.
Maybe it never is.
Right?
But it'll help you live a better life.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Right.
And I wouldn't, I personally, Iwouldn't look at it as like an
insurance policy, like I have to dothis in case something tragic happens.
I wouldn't look at it that way.
I would actually look at it as.
The means to better understanding myself.
Mm-hmm.
Like, look at how you've comeout of this, like, you so much
(24:46):
better understand yourself.
And that's what selfcoaching is truly all about.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
It's the, the outcome is making decisionsahead of time so that you feel in
control, but the path to getting there.
Is through better understanding yourself.
Mm-hmm.
So if you are somebody right nowwho feels very out of sorts, very
(25:07):
out of touch, very confused aboutyour life and who you are, yeah.
Self-coaching is a great solution.
If you are somebody who is.
Saying, I don't know how I wouldever handle that kind of diagnosis.
Self-coaching right now is a greatoption for you, so it serves you in a
(25:32):
lot of ways, but I certainly wouldn'tdo it as that insurance policy.
Yeah, I would do it as a means ofbetter understanding yourself because
it really does make your life somuch more abundant when you can
have these ongoing conversationswith yourself and really kind.
Be present and think throughthe different experiences.
(25:54):
It, it does make life moreabundant and more enjoy it.
Does.
Speaker (25:58):
I, I don't know who, who, it would not be for
Speaker 2 (26:02):
neither.
I mean, I, I feel like,
Speaker (26:05):
I mean, really like everyone, everyone.
That's what I, I guess that'swhat I'm trying to say.
I really feel, um.
I just really wanna share thatwith people, how much it helped me.
And if you can, you know, sign upwith Tracy and, or, or just listen to
the podcast on your mindset and, andjust, I guess the bottom line is feel
(26:26):
your feelings and don't judge 'em.
Have empathy for yourself.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Right.
Yeah, the judging of your own feelingsis what creates the suffering, period.
Yeah.
And then we'll link the goal plannerbecause it's truly a day planner that
is helping you set and achieve goals.
That you, that are meaningfulfor you in your life.
And, um, we have free workshops thatwill help you maximize that planner.
(26:57):
Anybody could buy it today off ofAmazon and figure out how to use it.
But, um, why do that when you canwatch a workshop and have me hold your
hand through the way to maximize it?
Speaker (27:11):
Well, and what I wanna say, Tracy and I told you this
in our last get together, but.
So I, I need thatbecause I have big goals.
I have big things coming, youknow, which is super exciting.
'cause I always say ColonelSanders started at 65.
Yep.
I'm not that old yet.
No.
So I'm really excited for those things.
(27:31):
But this is, this is the ticket isthat before Easter I used, I mean
I used your work, this book, and I.
I thought I was intentional, but what,what do I wanna get out of the state?
And I'm like the people pleaser who wasalways worried about what people think.
And I thought, you know, what,what could, what do I want?
(27:54):
And I thought, I wanna go toEaster and I want to love ev.
I just wanna love everyoneand not, and not judge 'em.
And I wanna be interested in them,and I wanna, and I don't wanna be
worried about me and how I appearand I wanna go and I sit down and
connect and I, I actually rehearsed it.
(28:17):
I think Joe Dispenza said, orwhatever, said something about
this, like rehearsed it in my head.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was magic.
And do you know how much that meant to me?
Because those are things Inever even thought about.
This isn't just about professional, it is.
But it's also about, do you knowwhat a great Easter I had and do
you know the ripple effect that me.
(28:41):
Connecting with otherpeople, had on other people.
Right, right.
I mean, that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah.
It has unlimited applications.
This applies to your professional life,to the relationships in your life, to your
health and wellness, to your finances.
I mean, it's, it's truly unlimitedwhen, and, and it's so simple.
It is so simple.
It may not be easy, but the simplicityof it is seriously picking three
(29:11):
events from any given day, and wetake you day by day by day, and I ask
you to pick three events that you'regonna make a decision ahead of time.
I wanna underscore that a decision aheadof time, not about where you're gonna be
and what it is that you're gonna be doing.
I don't care about that.
Any goal planner will have youwrite that into the blank line.
(29:35):
I'm asking you to make a decisionabout how it is that you want to feel.
Mm-hmm.
While you are.
Executing on that event, you guys,it is a game changer because it will
require you to decide what it isthat you would have to be believing.
And now the like, the effort isfocused on, how do I remember that?
(30:01):
Because once you decide it, so if you'vedecided that three hours before the
Easter event and now you find yourselfat the Easter event, it's super important
that you like squeeze the value out ofthe work that you did three hours ago.
And you remember how was itthat I wanted to think and feel?
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
So that's, that becomes the quote unquote hard part.
And we have all sorts oflittle hacks for that.
But as you get better at doingthis exercise, it becomes easier
because you've become groundeduhhuh in your own decisions.
And so at any moment when you startto feel like the uneasiness or the
(30:43):
confusion, that becomes the indicator toremember the work that you did earlier.
Speaker (30:49):
Amen, sister.
And that is what it was likeI was, that I was present.
So I went to Easter and I walked in.
And then if I was going back to theold Lisa where I was like, um, I
don't know if she likes the way I'mdressed, or, you know, whatever your
stupid thought you're ha I don't know.
That's the what, where I go.
I went, oh no.
(31:10):
That's not what I wannabe focused on today.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
There you
Speaker (31:13):
go.
And it, it was like, and it, andso, and you are right because it's
not hard for me to remember anymorebecause I am on the alert to recognize
those feelings that I don't want.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it just takes practice, you know?
And you're not going to buy the bookand all of a sudden be perfect at it.
You're gonna buy the book and you'regonna fumble your way through the
first few weeks, and it's gonna feelawkward because nobody ever taught
you how to decide ahead of time howit is that you wanna think and feel.
(31:45):
But you're gonna get better at it, andyou're gonna get so good at it that
you'll find yourself in the moment.
Of any circumstance, feeling anunwanted feeling and remembering
I don't have to feel this way.
Mm-hmm.
It's completely within my control, andthat right there is the definition of a
(32:06):
self-made person is when you remember.
Mm-hmm.
I don't have to feel this way.
I certainly can.
I'm sure that there would bevalue at a gift and an opportunity
from any of these circumstances.
Mm-hmm.
But you decide, right?
You get to decide.
Speaker (32:25):
Amen.
Amen.
And it's so important.
I never ever invested inmyself until I started working
with you like two years ago.
People, it's not that big of aninvestment to just start with the planner.
Now I really invest in myself now.
It is really important to me andstill have a long way to go, but you.
(32:46):
Are the most important thing, andGod wants to use you to do his work.
So if you're not loving yourself andfeeding yourself, you can't do all
the good work you're here to do so,
Speaker 2 (32:57):
right.
Yeah.
That's why we called the plannerbecoming self-made, because
it's a never ending journey.
Oh, right.
You're always on thepath of becoming right.
You're always learningsomething about yourself.
There is never going to be that.
Finish line of perfection.
Yep.
It's always, you're always in thestate and we want people to embrace
(33:17):
and celebrate the state of becoming.
Speaker (33:20):
I love it.
I love it because I'm stillbecoming, but it still, it still
keeps just getting more beautiful.
So Tracy, thank you.
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm gonna have you back on, we'lltalk about more stuff, alright.
But find her in the show notes,listeners, or go to self-made you.
Thanks, Tracy.
You take good care.
I'll see you next week.
Okay.
Take care.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Bye-bye.
Speaker (33:40):
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.