Why Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Love: A Real Talk on Boundaries

In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares key takeaways from Tuesday's Doing Divorce Different special episode. Despite being stood up by a guest for the first time on the podcast, the host reflects on her personal experiences, including her 34-year marriage and battle with stage one breast cancer, to discuss the importance of setting boundaries and reigniting passions from childhood. She emphasizes that self-sacrifice should not come at the cost of one's own well-being. The episode encourages listeners to take responsibility for their choices, set boundaries, and nurture self-love to better serve others.

00:00 Introduction and Recap of Tuesday's Episode

01:12 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

02:22 Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

02:39 Reigniting Passions and Self-Care

03:47 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:00):
Welcome to this week's Saddle up segment where I go over
key takeaways from Tuesday's episode.
And if you haven't listened to Tuesday'sepisode, please go back and give it
a listen because it was kind of aspecial day for me where I actually,
for the first time doing my podcast,I've been stood up in real life, but

(00:22):
I've never been stood up on my podcastand I was, and I took a hot minute.
To sit with myself quietly, andI thought through the things that
I had written down that I wantedto speak to this guest about.
Were all things that I could speak on,and so it was, it was a fun episode

(00:44):
and I took my own experiences throughmy 34 year marriage through my dealing
with the stage one breast cancer thatI had to go through a lot of treatment
that that was a hard thing for me andthe things that I recently learned
along the way, things that I wish.

(01:05):
I would've known years ago, itwould've made my life so much.
Well, it would've made mesuffer a little bit less.
So I just wanna share that with youbecause I know boundaries is a big word
and I talk about it in that episode.
And here is the thing I.
They are simple in how we thinkthrough them, but they're hard to do.

(01:25):
It's really hard for me to set boundarieswith things like spending money on a kid.
I want to like give them theworld, and it's really hard
for me to draw a line there.
It was really hard for me to drawboundaries in my marriage on, and
it, it's not, it's so interestinghow when you say yes to something

(01:51):
that you don't really wanna do,it's not the other person's fault.
It's all your responsibilityand there's no shame in it, and
there's no beating yourself up.
But here's the thing, take responsibility.
So in the future you canmake a different decision.
You have the choice to say no, and yep.

(02:12):
Sometimes that's uncomfortable.
Sometimes someone might not likeyou, but that's your choice.
So it's not the person'sfault that you say yes to.
So I have learned to hold my anger.
Back on that person andjust work on myself.
So boundaries are a bridge.

(02:33):
They are not a wall, and they have helpedmy relationships immensely in life.
And then to also, another thing I talkedabout is to reignite those passions.
Think about what you love to doas a kid, and you'll be surprised
at how it may want you to go back.
Do it again.

(02:53):
In fact, I came up to my husband, heput his hand on my forehead because I
said, I wanna take the grandkids camping.
And he was like, are you kidding me?
Because you and camping did not mix.
But you know what?
There were parts of camping that didmix and there are ways of camping.
Yeah.
I don't really like to go wayup in the boondocks in a canoe
with no motor, no bathroom, no.

(03:16):
None of that.
But I don't mind going, um.
In a nice camper with ashower in a beautiful spot.
So reignite those passions.
We can figure out what we like.
And here's the thing, friends,self-sacrifice isn't love if it costs you.
You self-sacrifice isnot love if it costs you.

(03:40):
You, I know women, we all thinkwe have to sacrifice ourselves.
That's not really the way to doit, and that's what I've learned.
Keep building yourself up, lovingyourself, setting your boundaries,
and you will overflow with being ableto help and love and serve the world.

(04:00):
Thanks so much for being here.