June 12, 2024 • 55 mins
In this episode of "Sage and Sunshine," join Brittany-Marie as she shares the first part of her journey, revealing 13 of the 26 valuable lessons she's learned in her 26 years. Focused on imparting wisdom and practical advice, Brittany-Marie delves into the lessons that have significantly impacted her life and explains why these insights are crucial. Whether you're seeking guidance or just a dose of inspiration, this episode is filled with important life lessons and advice that can resonate with anyone. Tune in for part one of "26 Things I've Learned in 26 Years" and gain valuable insights to apply to your own journey!
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(00:02):
K M O R E Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
And welcome to another episodeof seeds and sunshine.
I am your host sprit EMA.
While we talk about.
All things, adulting,parenthood, and any other 60
(00:25):
details of life that we'd liketo discuss.
If you're not following me onsocial media.
With the podcast and stuff, thenyou would not know that I am no
longer doing weekly.
Every Wednesdays it's, um, everyother Wednesday.
So now I did not miss lastWednesday.
I've decided to do that becauselife be lifeing and let's be for
(00:47):
real.
Um, I'm just not in a positionto do that right now.
But if I ever feel like, youknow, I want to just.
Upload a video.
Uh, or upload a more contentfor.
You all are just because I wantto, um, I absolutely will do
that.
But for now, it is a dedicatedevery other week.
(01:11):
Um, every other Wednesdayschedule.
So, um, yeah.
And this episode is also just anaudio because.
Like I said, life has beenlifeing and right now, I'm just
trying to make, um, I'm tryingto continue, of course, but I am
(01:32):
trying to do it in a way where Iam not stressed out and this is
a nice outlet for me, you know?
Um, but I will still be doingvideos and things like that, but
it won't probably be asprevalent just because I am.
Quite the busy gal, especiallynowadays, honey.
Um, I don't really want to getinto everything because, um,
(01:58):
There's just so many greatthings coming to me.
And, um, I'd rather speak on itwhen I have it.
But now you cross out hereworking.
Um, I'm not sitting on my assshout and I'm not just taking
care of my baby.
Anyways, Today's episode isgoing to probably be as raw and
uncut a possible.
(02:20):
Because the girl really don'tfeel like editing today.
Because today is actuallyWednesday.
Usually I don't do this, buthere we are.
I actually did have a video oryou recorded.
Um, But not edited.
And.
I don't know.
I'm just not feeling liketalking about that.
Right now.
(02:41):
so I decided that since it is.
my birthday coming up soon.
June 16th, me and my baby.
Daddy's birthday.
Tupac.
Thank you.
Pepe.
and it's also a father's day.
So happy.
Early birthday.
And father's day to us.
Cause all these bitches are mysons.
(03:02):
Uh, Yeah.
So I really honestly have notcared too much about my birthday
this year.
Um, I'm just focused on so manyother things, but elevate my
life and get me, you know, tothe big picture.
So.
I can care less.
(03:24):
I'm glad that I'm here.
I'm happy that I'm here.
Of course, for my son.
Um, And just to do what I wantto do and do what I love.
So I'm happy to be here.
But, um, as far as likecelebrating and doing something
big, like, or planning to dosomething big, like, I.
Uh, usually do not really effortdon't really care.
Um, Um, I am happy that mycousin is coming to see me
(03:48):
though.
And then my.
My mom and my sister will befollowing right after.
So that's, um, that's a birthdaypresent and itself.
I love being around my family.
Um, so.
That'll be nice.
Otherwise.
Don't be hounding me about me.
Not doing nothing for mybirthday.
Okay.
(04:10):
It's never that deep.
Anyways.
But anyways, um, my birthday gotme thinking.
About.
What have I learned in thistime, on this earth?
Um, I had seen videos beforeabout, you know, Things that
(04:32):
I've learned, um, or 25 thingsI've learned by 25.
And I remember last year I hadstarted.
Doing that.
Um, However, I never finishedthe last.
I never finished the list and,um, I never did anything with
(04:54):
it.
So I'm going to see if I canactually try to find the notes.
Um, But so today I want to justgive.
26.
26.
Oh, that sound grown.
That's sound cute.
That's how sexy is crazy.
I'm 26.
I am somebody's mother.
(05:16):
Okay.
And.
The world's not ready.
The road is really narrow.
But.
Who I am at girl.
I feel great.
I really do.
I love that for me.
I did not find the list.
I was hoping and find the list.
(05:36):
You know, and gave me a littlebit.
You know, And I don't know,sometime the buffer.
But, um, no, I guess we're goingto go straight off the down.
I guess there's nothing morebrown.
In that, huh?
So, um, 26 things that I'velearned.
Um, by 26, honey.
(05:56):
I want to say one of the firstthings that I have learned.
Is that.
Life.
Is to be lived with intention.
Um, I feel as though.
Well, no, I feel as though Iknow.
Um, There's just so manydistractions in the world.
(06:20):
And there's so much going onthat, It seems like, you know,
needs our attention.
Clearly this world is.
Insanity.
This Life is really short.
Time goes by fast.
You know, Um, time waste fornobody.
And you hear.
B's sayings.
(06:41):
And.
I think.
When you're younger and you'rejust so full of life.
And you have all these hopes anddreams and aspirations.
You know, Necessarily.
(07:02):
Really.
Um, focus on being intentional.
Um, And that doesn't mean like,oh, I have to be.
Working all the time or I haveto be PR.
Quote unquote, productive anddoing something and yada yada,
yada.
Because I also feel like,especially in the black
community, um, we feel asthough.
(07:24):
If we're not like.
Quote, unquote, productive doingsomething, working on something.
Um, like we can't just lie inbed.
For a day.
We can't regroup.
We ha we have to be doingsomething.
Um, too few, like we're valuablein this world.
And, um, I don't think.
(07:49):
That is.
Necessarily, um, the, take themgoing when I say be intentional.
Um, Because if you're notintentional about the life that
you're living.
You're not living life.
Your life will live.
You.
Time.
(08:11):
Time.
Oh, I don't think I trulyunderstood time.
Which is a manmade conceptanyways, but.
I'll put it in perspective.
When I was in high school, Ifelt like.
And younger.
I felt like.
Time was moving exponentially.
(08:32):
Slept.
Okay.
Um, I was.
Intentional.
To an extent.
But to me, time was movingexponentially.
Slow.
And I felt like I had all peacetime in the world.
(08:54):
And I think a lot of us youngfeel like we have all the time
in the world.
Or, um, actually now a lot of usfeel like we don't have the
time.
Well to do what we want to doand accomplish, but.
Like I said during the time thatI felt like I had all the time.
(09:17):
So now I feel like myperspective of time and being
intentional has changed.
Um, my perception of time hasdefinitely drastically changed.
I feel quite frankly, I feellike I don't have enough, even
though as humans we are offered.
a great deal of time, especiallyif you, um, take care of
yourself properly and arefortunate enough to not, you
(09:39):
know, have any significantillnesses that take you out.
Um, but yeah, um, now I feellike time, whoo, time precedes
me.
Time, time moves at anexponential rate to me.
Um, And I think my perceptionwith that has changed with
(10:03):
having a child because how canyou deny time when you see a
little human growing anddeveloping at an exponential
rate, right in front of youreyes?
It's hard to ignore.
It's hard to ignore.
I do.
(10:24):
It's impossible.
I don't know.
Are you Delulu?
It's just such a, it's such afunny, interesting concept that
we have.
Um, so I think me now being moreintentional it's more about.
being intentional about the bigpicture for myself and for my
(10:47):
family.
always keeping that in mind andalways moving towards that and
going towards things that serveme in that direction of where I
want to be.
So I guess that's what I meanwhen I say being intentional, be
intentional and living the lifethat you want to live.
(11:08):
Um, Whatever that means and youknow, you can take little steps
towards it every single dayevery single day so Yeah, that's
what I mean the intentionalAnother thing That I would say
i'm writing this down So I don'treally say it and um Hey, so I
(11:36):
remember Um, just to giveyourself gratitude You, well, if
you have an inner dialogue, um,which I've found out over the
years that, you know, noteverybody has an inner dialogue,
which is mind blowing to me, butif you do have an inner
dialogue, you probably talk toyourself, but you talk to
(11:58):
yourself more than you talk toanybody else, okay?
Even if it's just little thingsin your head, you know what I
mean?
A lot of the times, you know,you've heard the saying, we're
our, you're your own worstcritic.
And it's true, you have nothingbut time to live in your head
and say whatever and feelwhatever.
(12:20):
Um, but a lot of the times wearen't as kind and understanding
as we would be as if we weretalking to a friend who's, um,
going through the same thing, orfeeling the same thing, or made
the same mistakes, etc, etc.
(12:40):
also in saying giving yourselfgratitude, and saying that, also
like, thank yourself.
Constantly, you pat yourself onthe back, say it out loud, say
it in your head, think yourbrain, like, All these little
pieces of you coming together.
it seems so, I feel like we makelife seem so ordinary.
(13:08):
Just like I feel like we, um,think of getting birth just so
ordinary.
Like, yeah, that's just thething that women do.
Um, I think that it'sextraordinary.
I think we're extraordinary.
I think we're likeextraterrestrial creatures.
We're the aliens.
(13:29):
Okay.
Like, I think it's not justsomething That should be so,
just so overlooked, I guess, iswhat I want to say.
but yeah, we really oweourselves a lot of the gratitude
and the thanks.
(13:49):
Pat yourself on the back, thankyourself, thank your brain, for
all the hard work that it does,for everything.
Allowing you to get up and doall these things.
Thank you brain for allowing allthose processes to keep on
processing correctly.
Okay.
(14:10):
I mean, some of y'all like tothank God and you can do that
too, but you can thank yourselfas well.
Thank yourself.
Thank yourself.
Show gratitude and be kind.
Not to just everybody else, butyourself.
Honestly.
You first.
How about that?
(14:33):
Another thing that I would sayis learn patience.
Okay.
Patience is the thing that wehave to learn and we have to
exercise it like a muscle.
because having a lack ofpatience can really get you
outside of your body.
(14:55):
for little, small, insignificantthings.
Um, and also I think the lack ofpatience says, it usually says a
lot more about you than, um,than anybody else involved or
anything else that's going on.
(15:16):
It's, it's really more aboutyou.
Um, and I'm not gonna say likein some instances it's not, um,
the cause for it for you to.
Lack a little bit patience orspeak up or whatever Um,
especially dealing with otherpeople because don't let people
play with your time.
Okay We can't get that backwe're intentional about time
(15:36):
right so don't let people playwith you but But um definitely
learn patience learn patiencepatience patience It is instant
essential in every um I feellike in every aspect, in every,
um, every day, every day youwake up honey, whether it's
(15:59):
patience with others, patiencewith yourself, you need to learn
patience.
And especially, most definitely,if you want kids, do not, do
not, do not.
If you know that you have a realissue, a real issue with being
(16:20):
patient.
Do not go and have them kids.
I swear to god It won't help youit won't help you okay, don't do
it You need to get some patiencefirst You need to practice This
is something you have topractice all the time every day
all day.
You will be tested.
(16:40):
You will be tested and You know,sometimes you won't you won't
ace it.
Okay, but at least Since yougrasped patience, you can
probably recognize that, hey,damn, maybe I was stripping off
more than normal patience, so Ican work on that the next time,
or I know the next time that, dada da da.
(17:02):
You know?
Because, definitely, sometimes Iget an out of body too, and I
lose my motherfucking patience,and then, you know, you reflect.
A little bit later and you'relike, uh, Me personally, it'd be
like a second later and I'd belike, Okay, well you didn't
really have to act like that.
You didn't really have to reactlike that.
You could've been more patient.
Or you could've been more calm.
(17:22):
Do you know what I mean?
So yeah.
Learn patience.
Okay, what number are we on?
Number four.
Okay.
Number four, I would say Don'tget caught up in the friend's
hype and learn how to be a goodfriend.
I'm gonna put that home and whenI say get caught up in the
(17:46):
friends hype is Cuz even I haveand not necessarily just because
of people But you know when youwhen you're on social media, and
you see A group of friends, youknow, who are having a good time
and it seemed like they have areally good support system,
(18:06):
yada, yada, yada.
You know, everybody's besties,everybody shows up for one
another, everybody's doing theirthing, and it just looks like
it's beautiful, you know what Imean?
So it looks like something you'dwish you'd have like in a friend
group.
You wish you had more of acommunity, and maybe your
(18:27):
friends and community don't looklike how you want them to show
up, I guess, in your world, soyou see somebody else and it
seems like, you know, wow.
Having more friends would begreat.
(18:48):
And I'm not saying that it'snot.
Um, especially because, youknow, it is harder as you get
older for whatever reason, or Idon't know if it's just in the
20s type thing, that, um, it'sjust difficult to make friends.
I'm not sure what that's about,but it's just seemingly so
difficult.
And honestly, I think I want toblame social media a bit.
(19:10):
I'm not going to haunt you.
I'm going to blame social media.
I'm going to blame the, um,work.
Of course, honey, because child,we be at work.
Or we got stuff to do.
Um, so who has time to go outand make friends?
Not everybody wants to befriends with their damn
coworkers.
The hell?
But everybody's like, Oh, likethey want their own little
(19:34):
amazing little friend group, Andyadda yadda yadda.
And I think that's, of course,that's nice, that's lovely, And
honestly, it might be ideal.
I think it's ideal for me.
Honestly, I would love, I thinka community like that.
I really do.
Um, and I think it might beideal for a lot of people.
However, however, however, um,The second half of this number
(19:58):
four was learn how to be a goodfriend.
Um, I don't think that a lot ofyou all know how to be a good
friend.
Decent friend.
And I don't think you allunderstand Decent friend.
Or a lot of people understandhow to really maintain certain
relationships.
And to have a good friend, Ithink you have to be a good
(20:20):
friend.
You don't just, you don't justget a friend.
Well, hopefully you don't justget a friend and you're not
being a good friend to them aswell.
Um, it's a trade off and ittakes time.
It takes energy.
It takes, it takes a lot ofstuff.
Um, And I can say for myselfright now, in this, space that
(20:44):
I'm in, I don't think I reallyhave the capacity to develop and
upkeep new relationships, atleast not the way that I would
want to.
I don't think I could show up asthe great friend that I know I
am and can be at this moment tonew people, you know what I
mean?
And I wish that a lot of otherpeople would take accountability
(21:08):
and kind of stay the same.
Cause a lot of you guys aren'tgood friends, aren't good people
to be in any type ofrelationship with, whether it be
platonic, or romantic orwhatever, so, that's my thing.
So it's like, don't get caughtup in the whole, Friends thing
(21:28):
because it's not just, you know,going out and having fun and
having a good time.
You're supposed to be there foryour friends, child.
And a lot of y'all need to learnhow to be a good friend.
Number five.
(21:50):
Don't take it personal.
Don't take it personal, honey.
You know when I say, I meanabout any and everything.
Um, but specifically whendealing with people.
Child, don't take it personal.
People are people.
(22:11):
People are human just like you.
We have feelings, triggers, allthese neurons, processes.
It's a whole lot of stuff goingon.
People got their own lives.
You are the main character inyour life and other people are
the main character in their ownlives.
So if you got a whole lot ofstuff going on, you can assume
(22:35):
they also got a whole bunch ofstuff going on.
So it's not always about you.
It's, it's, it's not.
Okay?
It's not.
I say this like that because um,it, it is very annoying to try
to tell people like, baby, kindof get over yourself because I'm
(23:01):
not tripping about you.
I got other shit that I'mworried about.
It's not about you, so don't,don't take it personal.
You, you, you.
Don't take it personal.
cause I feel like if you startto take shit personally that
(23:21):
people didn't direct to you.
Babes, you're gonna go crazy.
You're gonna start assigningthings to you that wasn't even
for you.
Now we got if the shoe, if theshoe fits, then hey, don't wear
it.
And, and that's what you wannado.
And even when the shoe don'tfit, you'll not break them mos
(23:44):
in.
So like I said, don't take itpersonal, like, don't take it
personal.
I remember, a recent, thing ofme not taking it personal.
Um, my friend, I had texted her,I think, just saying I missed
(24:06):
her or something, and I don'tthink she had responded, and she
hadn't responded for days, andit really wasn't like her.
It's not like her at all.
Um, so I was just talking to myother friend about it, and I was
like, hmm, it's really not likeher.
So, Um, I don't feel no type ofway.
I just like, you know, I hopethings are fine.
(24:28):
I hope she's doing okay.
Um, and we'll just see.
But it's not like her.
That's a little weird.
I don't wanna feel No, I waslike, you know, I don't wanna
feel no type of way, but, um,it's just, it's not like her,
but whatever.
Um, dare two goes by, which isfine.
'cause girl, y'all, me and myTexan skills, they have gone
(24:53):
down the train.
I used to be an amazing texter.
Amazing.
Now, so so.
It depends on the day.
It depends on the time.
It depends on a lot.
But anyways, yeah, she didn't,um, text back.
And I was just like, you know, Idon't want to take it
personally, but that's, youknow, that's not like her.
I hope she's fine.
(25:14):
A few days go by, like I said,and she hits me back.
And I'm just like, okay, becausenow what if I took it
personally?
I know some people would havetaken that shit personally and
by the first or second day, ifthey didn't respond, their
notifications would have beenmuted.
If they would have blocked themor they would have done some
(25:34):
extra shit.
And that's just a littleexample.
But I do feel like in every day,like there's just a lot of
different examples or wherepeople be projected and just
take stuff on.
And you shouldn't, don't take itpersonally.
Relax.
(25:57):
Relax.
And that's where I say y'allneed to learn how to
communicate.
Okay.
Learn to articulate yourfeelings, your emotions, not
passive aggressively.
(26:18):
Okay.
When I say communicate, I mean,when you communicate, this is
how I say it.
You need to be direct.
Okay.
You need to be empathetic.
Okay, you also when we'retalking about communicating to
that doesn't mean you're doingall the talking so that means
(26:39):
you need to actively listen Youneed to know how to actively
listen.
You need to know how tocomprehend What is being said to
you and I don't know but thethose those are the tips For
(27:00):
y'all learn how to communicate.
It is essential.
It is a essential Okay, I don'tmean communicate over the
goddamn telephone, communicate,well, okay, telephone is
different.
But, I mean, I don't meancommunicating over text, email,
none of that, social media.
Communicating.
(27:20):
Verbally communicating andarticulating what it is that
you're feeling, which you wantto convey to the other person,
being able to actively listen,comprehend, respond
appropriately.
Okay?
Okay?
That's what y'all need to workon.
(27:41):
But yes, I think, um, Numbersix, learn how to communicate.
Um, very valuable information.
Number, what number was that?
Oh, okay, so number seven,honey.
Number seven.
Hmm.
(28:02):
I, I would say, Hmm.
Don't, don't limit yourselfbased on others opinions or
beliefs.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
One, because first of all, asfar as we know, we only have one
life to live and you have tolive it.
(28:23):
Nobody else.
So why would you, why would you,why would you ever change or
limit or alter anything?
because of somebody else'sopinions or beliefs.
Trash that immediately.
Um, two, everybody has opinionsand beliefs or people.
(28:44):
It is what it is.
Whether their opinion or beliefsalign with yours, it doesn't
really matter.
It doesn't really matter,especially if you're not it
doesn't really matter.
Also.
Guess that's not the reason isbecause we live in a world where
(29:04):
there's just infinite amount ofopportunities and things to do,
and things to accomplish andthink experiences and things
like that.
So why would you ever, becausethey don't know it all either.
So why would you ever listen tosomebody who don't even know
everything?
And if somebody tell you thatthey know everything they do
(29:25):
they some motherfucking lie andyou should get away quickly.
The hell?
And also I just think it holdsyourself back.
It holds yourself back fromamazing opportunities from what,
what aligns with you and yourvalues and what you want out of
life.
So don't ever.
(29:45):
Don't ever limit yourself.
If people, if everybody limitthemselves based on other
opinions or beliefs, we wouldnever progress in any type of
way.
It would be absolutely horrific.
I think also, I think peoplealso limit themselves because of
what they think people are goingto say.
(30:08):
Like people are, people aregoing to think, um, before
they've even said or thoughtanything, you know, we perceive.
What a reaction is going to beand you know, sometimes we limit
ourselves based off of that andit's just such a disservice to
not only ourselves, butpotentially the world.
You don't know what kind ofdifference you can make.
(30:31):
And we can all make adifference.
The hell?
Gee.
You see what we've done already?
Now I know it looks crazy and itlooks a mess.
But really think about all thatwe've done already.
All that you've done yourselfalready.
Big yourself up.
(30:52):
Stop.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Y'all will never get anywhere inlife if you limit yourself.
This is the limitless life.
And if you limit yourself, youare gonna limit your, You just
limit everything.
You limit yourself, then thatlimits, I feel like, things
(31:12):
that, potential opportunitiesand things and experiences that
align with you, um, you'll belimited to how they come to you,
um, if they come to you.
Because if you really want thisone thing, then you need to be
(31:34):
focused and about and have thebig picture of, hey, I'm gonna
get there.
Instead of being scary andsaying no, no, no, I'm gonna
stay over here because There'sthis and that Stuff outside of
your control Hang it up.
Hang it up Number eight.
(31:58):
Number eight is, I'm kind ofthrowing shots with this one but
number eight is you do not haveto know everything and heavy on
the, you'll never.
(32:18):
And if you think you knoweverything, you're stupid.
And I said what I said, I thinkyou're dumb as rocks.
If you think, if you reallythink that you know everything,
I think you're stupid as fuck.
Because that's a limited mindsetto me.
For you to believe that you knoweverything, you don't, you
don't.
I've always said it.
(32:39):
I hate people who walk aroundwith the arrogance about them
that they know it all.
Because it just shows to me thatyou don't and it just, to me, it
just points out in every areathat you lack when you think you
know it all.
I know nothing, as far as I'mconcerned, and I'm okay with
that.
(33:00):
I'm okay with that.
And then also, I don't know whatit is with a lot of you that
feel like you have to likefigure out the world and you
need answers.
Calm down.
How about y'all figure outsomething else, like, figure out
(33:21):
how to make them cancel ourstudent debt instead of y'all
arguing about, No, the earth isreally flat.
Or y'all worried about, Why thisis this and is this the only
life we live?
Well if you spend the whole timeworrying about is this the only
life we live, this life gon passyo ass and I guess you gon see
(33:44):
it end.
I'm like, I don't, I don't know.
What more do you want?
What more do you want?
I feel like when you're, whenyou're in your head feeling like
you have to, feeling crazybecause you don't know anything
or you have to figure outeverything or you have to, you
just have to know this.
Are you living?
Like what do you do?
(34:05):
What are you actually doing?
What are you doing?
Why is it keeping you up atnight?
Why?
I think the beauty in life isthat we don't know everything.
Literally, how boring of ajourney would this be if we all
(34:26):
knew everything?
How boring?
How boring?
How How many of us would sitthere and play a video game over
and over and over again if wehad to do the exact same thing
(34:47):
over Thing to the T.
Because we knew everything.
What, where's the fun in thatvideo game?
Where's the fun?
The fun is in the constantchange.
The only thing in life that isconstant is change.
(35:08):
The unknowing.
That's, that's what makes thisso fun and special.
If everything went your way,sure, maybe you would love it.
Maybe you would, maybe you wouldsay that you love it.
How boring.
(35:29):
You know, just like they say,you know, with the rain and the
sun.
What, what they say with therain and the sun, you know, to
um, or the rainbow, you know, tosee the rainbow, you gotta rain,
something like that.
I don't fucking know.
But the point is, you gotta haveboth.
(35:50):
Okay.
And it's fine not to knoweverything and to live in the
unknown.
I honestly figured that out along time ago.
I, I wish a lot of people wouldjoin.
Like, do you know how many, howmany people in the brain cells
that were used and abused to tryto figure out something that I
(36:12):
feel really, you ain't even gotno business trying to figure it
out.
Keep it pushing and live thelife that you want to live
before it lives you.
Number nine, I'd say do it all,do everything.
(36:34):
Do everything.
Everything that your heartdesires.
And whether it looks quoteunquote correct.
And I don't mean correct inlike, I guess I mean correct in
like the path.
Cause you know, everybody hastheir own path.
Um, and your path, your journeyof course may not look correct
(37:00):
to everybody.
And the things you do and um,participate in might not look
like that for everybody.
But I still say do it all.
Whether it be You know,activities that you want to do,
whether it be different careersthat you want to go into,
(37:21):
whether you want to move 50million times, whether you want
to, whatever.
Do it all.
Do it all when you can.
I mean, I still got a long waysto go.
But I think I can say, I reallydon't have any regrets in my
(37:47):
life so far.
I really don't think I can say,be like, sit here and say like,
Ooh, I truly regret that.
Because I feel like for the mostpart, I've done it all.
What I've really wanted to do.
Whether it look right in themoment to anybody, whatever, I
(38:08):
just do it.
Do it and go full speed ahead.
And hey, if it doesn't work out,if you don't enjoy it, whatever,
whatever it is, then hey, wellat least you can say that you
did it.
cause I feel like in my life sofar, with even all that is yet
to come and to be accomplished,Shit, I think I lived a pretty
(38:35):
damn good life, and I'm proud ofmyself.
Yeah, do it all people.
You know, I've moved to stateswhere I have never even stepped
foot in before I moved therejust because I said yeah.
I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna doit.
(38:56):
Um, it's made me meet someamazing people that I still keep
in touch with today.
It's made me, um, just seedifferent parts of the world,
child, and just see how theylive.
And, um, it's always been, forthe most part, an amazing
(39:17):
experience.
Just doing what I feel I shoulddo.
Which is doing what whatever myheart desires.
So just do it, like Nike.
Okay, they said, they knew, theyknew, just do it.
Number 10, health and wellness.
(39:43):
Okay, this is something thatI've learned, but I am still
working on.
when it comes to the health andwellness thing.
Um, I don't feel like it wasdrilled into a lot of kids or to
a lot of people in general.
Um, how much, okay.
(40:07):
I feel like we were taught thisscientific way of, you know,
what's inside our body and howit works per se, per se.
But there is never really Thisdeep connection, per se, I
guess, between like, the person,at least I'll speak for myself,
(40:31):
especially as a child, um, Idon't know, to like really get
in tune with your body.
I don't feel like I've ever, um,actively tried to get in tune
with my body until I was around23, 24.
(40:52):
And that's when I started tofeel like, Oh, okay.
Okay.
I don't know, where I justunderstood and I just felt, I
felt the best that I had.
Probably all my life.
Yeah, that is extremely,extremely, extremely important.
(41:17):
And for me personally, I mean,when you, when I think, and it
speaks to how your body respondsto how important it is.
It really does.
I can tell a major difference,of course, when I'm, Um,
consistently exercising andeating well, and I can tell the
(41:39):
difference when I'm not asmobile and not eating well, or
at all, or enough, um, and,yikes, is what I can say is,
yikes, I really wish that wewere, taught how food and plants
(41:59):
really are medicine and how,they interact with our bodies
and things like that.
I truly wish we were taught thatand it was instilled in us as
children.
I really hope to instill that inmy children.
(42:20):
That, you know, food and plantsor medicine and being in tune
with your body and knowing andlistening to your body is
extremely important.
I feel like we listen to ourbody in different ways, but we
don't always listen to it whenit comes to the health and
aspects, health, health andwellness aspect of it.
(42:40):
Um, I think we listen when, youknow, We listen when we're in
pain sometimes, or we listenwhen we have like a gut feeling.
Um, but again, I don'tnecessarily feel like a lot of
people are really in tune withtheir bodies and are listening
(43:03):
to their bodies to then dobetter for their bodies.
You know what I mean?
And you only got one.
So, y'all better make that shitwork.
Make that shit shake.
Y'all better get up and move,work.
Okay, if you don't want nobodywiping your ass, then get up.
(43:23):
Get up.
Be consistent and get up,literally.
Um, working in a nursingrehabilitation home was an
absolutely amazing, amazing,amazing, amazing experience.
and it was very, inspirationalto see an 103 year old up every
(43:45):
morning, up walking, making lapsaround the nursing home and just
reading and dancing.
We would dance sometimes andthings like that.
And you know, I, she's gettingup, she's moving, she's eating
well.
(44:05):
You know what I mean?
And it, it seems really these,when I'm saying it, it seems
like such a minute change, but Iunderstand like, especially
living in America, how intricateand difficult it can be to do
(44:25):
better and eat better and theaccess to these things, um, and
to exercise and things likethat.
Um, I do know it's so difficult,but if you can't do it, It'll
only be, it'll only be great foryou and your health.
(44:47):
Health really is wealth.
Because if you don't have yourhealth, yeah, I mean essentially
you have nothing.
Number eleven, I would say, Leanon your support system and
maintain those importantrelationships.
(45:08):
I'm putting that all in one.
For me, it's always been verydifficult to lean on people and
ask for help.
Um, Since the birth of my sonand, when I was pregnant with
him, it had gotten a lot betterand it's progressively getting
better.
(45:29):
As well as me leaning on themand me being more open, I guess,
and upfront about certainthings.
Like in my life or I guessthings that I think are
important to me Just I don'tknow cuz I feel like sometimes
I've been closed off I'm likepeople don't really know what's
going on with me.
(45:49):
And it's like I don't Well,sometimes I do it purposefully
but um Not all the time Not allthe time.
So I've gotten better with that,and I've definitely gotten
better with, like I said, um,just reaching out to people when
(46:09):
I need, when I need help.
I don't like to, and I kind ofrefuse now to sit for in
silence.
Like, that's not really a thingof mine.
If I feel something, I'm gonnasay it.
And also, like I said, likemaintaining those important
relationships.
I definitely need to work onthat because I feel like, you
(46:32):
know, I'd be lifing, but I alsofeel like that's not an excuse.
Um, but I do try, you know, whenI think of people, I try to just
text them in the moment or callthem in the moment, right when
I'm thinking of them, because alot of times if I don't like a
lot of time will go by and, um,Yeah, unfortunately, like, I
(46:56):
just won't talk to them and, um,I'm already really bad at
texting.
So, it's just, it's just a wholething.
It's, it's something that I'mstruggling with a bit and I'm
just trying to juggle, I'm justtrying to juggle a lot of things
at once.
There's a lot of moving pieces,a lot of new things happening,
(47:19):
so it's.
It's hard, but family andfriends, I really am trying my
best.
I'm trying my best.
I really am, but I will, I knowI will get to a place where it
won't be like that.
And not only will I be able tostay in touch more, but I'll be
(47:39):
able to see everybody moreconsistently, so I'm excited
about that.
It's all gonna come together indue time, it's just, I kind of
hate that it's like this now,but not for long guys, not for
long.
Number twelve.
(48:01):
I would say don't take yourselftoo seriously.
Again, I'm working on that.
But like, don't.
Like, Why?
Why do you need to be so uptightand so serious for?
Loosen up a bit.
You know what I mean?
In all settings.
Just be.
Just be.
(48:23):
Yeah, you don't have to takeyourself too seriously.
You don't have to be a certainway all the time.
You know what I mean?
Loosen up.
It's okay.
Show yourself.
Let yourself shine.
You really don't know the typeof people and opportunities,
experiences, and things andstuff like that, that will come
(48:46):
to you just being you, justshowing yourself to whomever,
you know what I mean?
So loosen up and let those wingsfly, honey.
Stop having, like, impostersyndrome or Second guessing
yourself, just, what I say, justdo it.
(49:07):
Like Nike.
Don't take yourself tooseriously.
Life's too short for that.
And, number thirteen.
We're gonna end this, um, inthis episode here on number 13,
half of 26, honey.
And I guess I'll see you, nextweek with part two, but half of
(49:34):
26, 13.
Hmm.
I would say, look what I'velearned.
I learned that this is a videogame.
This is a video game.
And You know, instantly Istarted thinking about sims.
(49:55):
This is, I am a sim character.
This is a video game.
I am, you know, always creatingand altering my character.
I am always evolving.
I have created a family.
(50:17):
But, um, thinking about life asa video game and yourself as
like a character, and you know,I think really simplifies and
makes it, makes life a little, alittle less serious, a little
more forgiving, and you just,you know, You instantly
(50:40):
understand it on a differentlevel, like, this is literally a
video game.
It's a video game.
The world is the console.
Now if we don't get this, Globalwarming and pollution and all
this stuff together, the consolegone.
(51:01):
Shut off, but We're nevertalking about that.
Um But for real, this is a videogame and that also makes me feel
so much better about life, toowhen you think about it in the
video game, like Because what doyou do in the video game?
Yeah, you explore, you do allthe stuff, but uh, but um You
(51:25):
can fail And that's okay Cuz youknow why?
You just restart the game again.
That's all you do.
You just restart.
And then, it's brand new.
So if you just restart,everything's fine.
(51:46):
It's literally like it neverhappened.
But, it did happen, now you havethe knowledge.
Now you have the knowledge,right?
So play it again.
Play the game again.
Play it however many times.
You're gonna win.
Winner of the odds Come on.
(52:07):
The odds are for you.
You're gonna win.
This is a video game.
None of this stuff matters.
Okay, it does.
It does matter, guys.
Don't, don't take it to heart.
It does matter.
But, Not the little stuff.
Don't sweat the little stuff.
This is just a video game.
You're just creating yourcharacter.
(52:28):
Just going through life.
Bye.
That's it.
It's pretty simple here guys,you know.
Now there's a lot of othervariables that are outside of
our control, but we focus onwhat we can control.
All right, this is a video game.
(52:48):
Oh my goodness.
Anyways, like I said, we'regoing to end on number 13
because if we continue we'regoing to be here all day.
And that's not what I want.
And I don't think that's whatyou want either.
And even if you did want it,honey, you're not getting it
from me, not today.
But I hope that you guys enjoyedthis a little bit.
(53:10):
And it made you think.
Think about what you've learned.
And, or what you need tocontinue learning.
Um, y'all got stuff to work on.
We're all works in progress.
Nobody's perfect.
I don't aim to be.
I just aim to be me.
My little character in thisgame.
And I can say that I'm veryproud of myself and my
(53:32):
character.
I love I love this game.
I love this game This game thisgame has been you know, all
that's come with it.
I have some talents this gamehas been Pretty damn good.
I'm, sorry Pretty damn good So Ihope you guys Continue to love
(54:00):
the video game that you're in.
And if not, baby, put anotherdisc in, okay?
Put another disc in, that's it.
Play with different rules.
But I think that wraps thisepisode up.
(54:20):
You know, the sun has officiallyset on this episode of Stage and
Sunshine.
I thank you all for rocking withme through this, you know,
transition kind of crazy time.
Uh, I'm trying to keep it goingstrong, y'all.
I feel like from the beginning,it's just been kind of a lot of
(54:40):
stuff getting in the way ofthis, but I am not over it.
Finished.
Okay.
So, we're gonna keep going.
I'm gonna keep, um, playing thispart of the video game as much
as I can.
And, I hope that you guys havean amazing, amazing weekend.
(55:01):
thank you to all the amazingfathers out there, we need you,
we love you, we support you, andhappy father's day to you, and a
happy birthday to me, all youbitches is my sons, let me get
off this microphone and stopplaying y'all.
Like I said, I hope y'all have afabulous weekend.
Happy Juneteenth.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy Father's Day and Woopwoop, let's turn up Signing off
(55:27):
Oh,
K M O R E Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
And welcome to another episodeof seeds and sunshine.
I am your host sprit EMA.
While we talk about.
All things, adulting,parenthood, and any other 60
(00:25):
details of life that we'd liketo discuss.
If you're not following me onsocial media.
With the podcast and stuff, thenyou would not know that I am no
longer doing weekly.
Every Wednesdays it's, um, everyother Wednesday.
So now I did not miss lastWednesday.
I've decided to do that becauselife be lifeing and let's be for
(00:47):
real.
Um, I'm just not in a positionto do that right now.
But if I ever feel like, youknow, I want to just.
Upload a video.
Uh, or upload a more contentfor.
You all are just because I wantto, um, I absolutely will do
that.
But for now, it is a dedicatedevery other week.
(01:11):
Um, every other Wednesdayschedule.
So, um, yeah.
And this episode is also just anaudio because.
Like I said, life has beenlifeing and right now, I'm just
trying to make, um, I'm tryingto continue, of course, but I am
(01:32):
trying to do it in a way where Iam not stressed out and this is
a nice outlet for me, you know?
Um, but I will still be doingvideos and things like that, but
it won't probably be asprevalent just because I am.
Quite the busy gal, especiallynowadays, honey.
Um, I don't really want to getinto everything because, um,
(01:58):
There's just so many greatthings coming to me.
And, um, I'd rather speak on itwhen I have it.
But now you cross out hereworking.
Um, I'm not sitting on my assshout and I'm not just taking
care of my baby.
Anyways, Today's episode isgoing to probably be as raw and
uncut a possible.
(02:20):
Because the girl really don'tfeel like editing today.
Because today is actuallyWednesday.
Usually I don't do this, buthere we are.
I actually did have a video oryou recorded.
Um, But not edited.
And.
I don't know.
I'm just not feeling liketalking about that.
Right now.
(02:41):
so I decided that since it is.
my birthday coming up soon.
June 16th, me and my baby.
Daddy's birthday.
Tupac.
Thank you.
Pepe.
and it's also a father's day.
So happy.
Early birthday.
And father's day to us.
Cause all these bitches are mysons.
(03:02):
Uh, Yeah.
So I really honestly have notcared too much about my birthday
this year.
Um, I'm just focused on so manyother things, but elevate my
life and get me, you know, tothe big picture.
So.
I can care less.
(03:24):
I'm glad that I'm here.
I'm happy that I'm here.
Of course, for my son.
Um, And just to do what I wantto do and do what I love.
So I'm happy to be here.
But, um, as far as likecelebrating and doing something
big, like, or planning to dosomething big, like, I.
Uh, usually do not really effortdon't really care.
Um, Um, I am happy that mycousin is coming to see me
(03:48):
though.
And then my.
My mom and my sister will befollowing right after.
So that's, um, that's a birthdaypresent and itself.
I love being around my family.
Um, so.
That'll be nice.
Otherwise.
Don't be hounding me about me.
Not doing nothing for mybirthday.
Okay.
(04:10):
It's never that deep.
Anyways.
But anyways, um, my birthday gotme thinking.
About.
What have I learned in thistime, on this earth?
Um, I had seen videos beforeabout, you know, Things that
(04:32):
I've learned, um, or 25 thingsI've learned by 25.
And I remember last year I hadstarted.
Doing that.
Um, However, I never finishedthe last.
I never finished the list and,um, I never did anything with
(04:54):
it.
So I'm going to see if I canactually try to find the notes.
Um, But so today I want to justgive.
26.
26.
Oh, that sound grown.
That's sound cute.
That's how sexy is crazy.
I'm 26.
I am somebody's mother.
(05:16):
Okay.
And.
The world's not ready.
The road is really narrow.
But.
Who I am at girl.
I feel great.
I really do.
I love that for me.
I did not find the list.
I was hoping and find the list.
(05:36):
You know, and gave me a littlebit.
You know, And I don't know,sometime the buffer.
But, um, no, I guess we're goingto go straight off the down.
I guess there's nothing morebrown.
In that, huh?
So, um, 26 things that I'velearned.
Um, by 26, honey.
(05:56):
I want to say one of the firstthings that I have learned.
Is that.
Life.
Is to be lived with intention.
Um, I feel as though.
Well, no, I feel as though Iknow.
Um, There's just so manydistractions in the world.
(06:20):
And there's so much going onthat, It seems like, you know,
needs our attention.
Clearly this world is.
Insanity.
This Life is really short.
Time goes by fast.
You know, Um, time waste fornobody.
And you hear.
B's sayings.
(06:41):
And.
I think.
When you're younger and you'rejust so full of life.
And you have all these hopes anddreams and aspirations.
You know, Necessarily.
(07:02):
Really.
Um, focus on being intentional.
Um, And that doesn't mean like,oh, I have to be.
Working all the time or I haveto be PR.
Quote unquote, productive anddoing something and yada yada,
yada.
Because I also feel like,especially in the black
community, um, we feel asthough.
(07:24):
If we're not like.
Quote, unquote, productive doingsomething, working on something.
Um, like we can't just lie inbed.
For a day.
We can't regroup.
We ha we have to be doingsomething.
Um, too few, like we're valuablein this world.
And, um, I don't think.
(07:49):
That is.
Necessarily, um, the, take themgoing when I say be intentional.
Um, Because if you're notintentional about the life that
you're living.
You're not living life.
Your life will live.
You.
Time.
(08:11):
Time.
Oh, I don't think I trulyunderstood time.
Which is a manmade conceptanyways, but.
I'll put it in perspective.
When I was in high school, Ifelt like.
And younger.
I felt like.
Time was moving exponentially.
(08:32):
Slept.
Okay.
Um, I was.
Intentional.
To an extent.
But to me, time was movingexponentially.
Slow.
And I felt like I had all peacetime in the world.
(08:54):
And I think a lot of us youngfeel like we have all the time
in the world.
Or, um, actually now a lot of usfeel like we don't have the
time.
Well to do what we want to doand accomplish, but.
Like I said during the time thatI felt like I had all the time.
(09:17):
So now I feel like myperspective of time and being
intentional has changed.
Um, my perception of time hasdefinitely drastically changed.
I feel quite frankly, I feellike I don't have enough, even
though as humans we are offered.
a great deal of time, especiallyif you, um, take care of
yourself properly and arefortunate enough to not, you
(09:39):
know, have any significantillnesses that take you out.
Um, but yeah, um, now I feellike time, whoo, time precedes
me.
Time, time moves at anexponential rate to me.
Um, And I think my perceptionwith that has changed with
(10:03):
having a child because how canyou deny time when you see a
little human growing anddeveloping at an exponential
rate, right in front of youreyes?
It's hard to ignore.
It's hard to ignore.
I do.
(10:24):
It's impossible.
I don't know.
Are you Delulu?
It's just such a, it's such afunny, interesting concept that
we have.
Um, so I think me now being moreintentional it's more about.
being intentional about the bigpicture for myself and for my
(10:47):
family.
always keeping that in mind andalways moving towards that and
going towards things that serveme in that direction of where I
want to be.
So I guess that's what I meanwhen I say being intentional, be
intentional and living the lifethat you want to live.
(11:08):
Um, Whatever that means and youknow, you can take little steps
towards it every single dayevery single day so Yeah, that's
what I mean the intentionalAnother thing That I would say
i'm writing this down So I don'treally say it and um Hey, so I
(11:36):
remember Um, just to giveyourself gratitude You, well, if
you have an inner dialogue, um,which I've found out over the
years that, you know, noteverybody has an inner dialogue,
which is mind blowing to me, butif you do have an inner
dialogue, you probably talk toyourself, but you talk to
(11:58):
yourself more than you talk toanybody else, okay?
Even if it's just little thingsin your head, you know what I
mean?
A lot of the times, you know,you've heard the saying, we're
our, you're your own worstcritic.
And it's true, you have nothingbut time to live in your head
and say whatever and feelwhatever.
(12:20):
Um, but a lot of the times wearen't as kind and understanding
as we would be as if we weretalking to a friend who's, um,
going through the same thing, orfeeling the same thing, or made
the same mistakes, etc, etc.
(12:40):
also in saying giving yourselfgratitude, and saying that, also
like, thank yourself.
Constantly, you pat yourself onthe back, say it out loud, say
it in your head, think yourbrain, like, All these little
pieces of you coming together.
it seems so, I feel like we makelife seem so ordinary.
(13:08):
Just like I feel like we, um,think of getting birth just so
ordinary.
Like, yeah, that's just thething that women do.
Um, I think that it'sextraordinary.
I think we're extraordinary.
I think we're likeextraterrestrial creatures.
We're the aliens.
(13:29):
Okay.
Like, I think it's not justsomething That should be so,
just so overlooked, I guess, iswhat I want to say.
but yeah, we really oweourselves a lot of the gratitude
and the thanks.
(13:49):
Pat yourself on the back, thankyourself, thank your brain, for
all the hard work that it does,for everything.
Allowing you to get up and doall these things.
Thank you brain for allowing allthose processes to keep on
processing correctly.
Okay.
(14:10):
I mean, some of y'all like tothank God and you can do that
too, but you can thank yourselfas well.
Thank yourself.
Thank yourself.
Show gratitude and be kind.
Not to just everybody else, butyourself.
Honestly.
You first.
How about that?
(14:33):
Another thing that I would sayis learn patience.
Okay.
Patience is the thing that wehave to learn and we have to
exercise it like a muscle.
because having a lack ofpatience can really get you
outside of your body.
(14:55):
for little, small, insignificantthings.
Um, and also I think the lack ofpatience says, it usually says a
lot more about you than, um,than anybody else involved or
anything else that's going on.
(15:16):
It's, it's really more aboutyou.
Um, and I'm not gonna say likein some instances it's not, um,
the cause for it for you to.
Lack a little bit patience orspeak up or whatever Um,
especially dealing with otherpeople because don't let people
play with your time.
Okay We can't get that backwe're intentional about time
(15:36):
right so don't let people playwith you but But um definitely
learn patience learn patiencepatience patience It is instant
essential in every um I feellike in every aspect, in every,
um, every day, every day youwake up honey, whether it's
(15:59):
patience with others, patiencewith yourself, you need to learn
patience.
And especially, most definitely,if you want kids, do not, do
not, do not.
If you know that you have a realissue, a real issue with being
(16:20):
patient.
Do not go and have them kids.
I swear to god It won't help youit won't help you okay, don't do
it You need to get some patiencefirst You need to practice This
is something you have topractice all the time every day
all day.
You will be tested.
(16:40):
You will be tested and You know,sometimes you won't you won't
ace it.
Okay, but at least Since yougrasped patience, you can
probably recognize that, hey,damn, maybe I was stripping off
more than normal patience, so Ican work on that the next time,
or I know the next time that, dada da da.
(17:02):
You know?
Because, definitely, sometimes Iget an out of body too, and I
lose my motherfucking patience,and then, you know, you reflect.
A little bit later and you'relike, uh, Me personally, it'd be
like a second later and I'd belike, Okay, well you didn't
really have to act like that.
You didn't really have to reactlike that.
You could've been more patient.
Or you could've been more calm.
(17:22):
Do you know what I mean?
So yeah.
Learn patience.
Okay, what number are we on?
Number four.
Okay.
Number four, I would say Don'tget caught up in the friend's
hype and learn how to be a goodfriend.
I'm gonna put that home and whenI say get caught up in the
(17:46):
friends hype is Cuz even I haveand not necessarily just because
of people But you know when youwhen you're on social media, and
you see A group of friends, youknow, who are having a good time
and it seemed like they have areally good support system,
(18:06):
yada, yada, yada.
You know, everybody's besties,everybody shows up for one
another, everybody's doing theirthing, and it just looks like
it's beautiful, you know what Imean?
So it looks like something you'dwish you'd have like in a friend
group.
You wish you had more of acommunity, and maybe your
(18:27):
friends and community don't looklike how you want them to show
up, I guess, in your world, soyou see somebody else and it
seems like, you know, wow.
Having more friends would begreat.
(18:48):
And I'm not saying that it'snot.
Um, especially because, youknow, it is harder as you get
older for whatever reason, or Idon't know if it's just in the
20s type thing, that, um, it'sjust difficult to make friends.
I'm not sure what that's about,but it's just seemingly so
difficult.
And honestly, I think I want toblame social media a bit.
(19:10):
I'm not going to haunt you.
I'm going to blame social media.
I'm going to blame the, um,work.
Of course, honey, because child,we be at work.
Or we got stuff to do.
Um, so who has time to go outand make friends?
Not everybody wants to befriends with their damn
coworkers.
The hell?
But everybody's like, Oh, likethey want their own little
(19:34):
amazing little friend group, Andyadda yadda yadda.
And I think that's, of course,that's nice, that's lovely, And
honestly, it might be ideal.
I think it's ideal for me.
Honestly, I would love, I thinka community like that.
I really do.
Um, and I think it might beideal for a lot of people.
However, however, however, um,The second half of this number
(19:58):
four was learn how to be a goodfriend.
Um, I don't think that a lot ofyou all know how to be a good
friend.
Decent friend.
And I don't think you allunderstand Decent friend.
Or a lot of people understandhow to really maintain certain
relationships.
And to have a good friend, Ithink you have to be a good
(20:20):
friend.
You don't just, you don't justget a friend.
Well, hopefully you don't justget a friend and you're not
being a good friend to them aswell.
Um, it's a trade off and ittakes time.
It takes energy.
It takes, it takes a lot ofstuff.
Um, And I can say for myselfright now, in this, space that
(20:44):
I'm in, I don't think I reallyhave the capacity to develop and
upkeep new relationships, atleast not the way that I would
want to.
I don't think I could show up asthe great friend that I know I
am and can be at this moment tonew people, you know what I
mean?
And I wish that a lot of otherpeople would take accountability
(21:08):
and kind of stay the same.
Cause a lot of you guys aren'tgood friends, aren't good people
to be in any type ofrelationship with, whether it be
platonic, or romantic orwhatever, so, that's my thing.
So it's like, don't get caughtup in the whole, Friends thing
(21:28):
because it's not just, you know,going out and having fun and
having a good time.
You're supposed to be there foryour friends, child.
And a lot of y'all need to learnhow to be a good friend.
Number five.
(21:50):
Don't take it personal.
Don't take it personal, honey.
You know when I say, I meanabout any and everything.
Um, but specifically whendealing with people.
Child, don't take it personal.
People are people.
(22:11):
People are human just like you.
We have feelings, triggers, allthese neurons, processes.
It's a whole lot of stuff goingon.
People got their own lives.
You are the main character inyour life and other people are
the main character in their ownlives.
So if you got a whole lot ofstuff going on, you can assume
(22:35):
they also got a whole bunch ofstuff going on.
So it's not always about you.
It's, it's, it's not.
Okay?
It's not.
I say this like that because um,it, it is very annoying to try
to tell people like, baby, kindof get over yourself because I'm
(23:01):
not tripping about you.
I got other shit that I'mworried about.
It's not about you, so don't,don't take it personal.
You, you, you.
Don't take it personal.
cause I feel like if you startto take shit personally that
(23:21):
people didn't direct to you.
Babes, you're gonna go crazy.
You're gonna start assigningthings to you that wasn't even
for you.
Now we got if the shoe, if theshoe fits, then hey, don't wear
it.
And, and that's what you wannado.
And even when the shoe don'tfit, you'll not break them mos
(23:44):
in.
So like I said, don't take itpersonal, like, don't take it
personal.
I remember, a recent, thing ofme not taking it personal.
Um, my friend, I had texted her,I think, just saying I missed
(24:06):
her or something, and I don'tthink she had responded, and she
hadn't responded for days, andit really wasn't like her.
It's not like her at all.
Um, so I was just talking to myother friend about it, and I was
like, hmm, it's really not likeher.
So, Um, I don't feel no type ofway.
I just like, you know, I hopethings are fine.
(24:28):
I hope she's doing okay.
Um, and we'll just see.
But it's not like her.
That's a little weird.
I don't wanna feel No, I waslike, you know, I don't wanna
feel no type of way, but, um,it's just, it's not like her,
but whatever.
Um, dare two goes by, which isfine.
'cause girl, y'all, me and myTexan skills, they have gone
(24:53):
down the train.
I used to be an amazing texter.
Amazing.
Now, so so.
It depends on the day.
It depends on the time.
It depends on a lot.
But anyways, yeah, she didn't,um, text back.
And I was just like, you know, Idon't want to take it
personally, but that's, youknow, that's not like her.
I hope she's fine.
(25:14):
A few days go by, like I said,and she hits me back.
And I'm just like, okay, becausenow what if I took it
personally?
I know some people would havetaken that shit personally and
by the first or second day, ifthey didn't respond, their
notifications would have beenmuted.
If they would have blocked themor they would have done some
(25:34):
extra shit.
And that's just a littleexample.
But I do feel like in every day,like there's just a lot of
different examples or wherepeople be projected and just
take stuff on.
And you shouldn't, don't take itpersonally.
Relax.
(25:57):
Relax.
And that's where I say y'allneed to learn how to
communicate.
Okay.
Learn to articulate yourfeelings, your emotions, not
passive aggressively.
(26:18):
Okay.
When I say communicate, I mean,when you communicate, this is
how I say it.
You need to be direct.
Okay.
You need to be empathetic.
Okay, you also when we'retalking about communicating to
that doesn't mean you're doingall the talking so that means
(26:39):
you need to actively listen Youneed to know how to actively
listen.
You need to know how tocomprehend What is being said to
you and I don't know but thethose those are the tips For
(27:00):
y'all learn how to communicate.
It is essential.
It is a essential Okay, I don'tmean communicate over the
goddamn telephone, communicate,well, okay, telephone is
different.
But, I mean, I don't meancommunicating over text, email,
none of that, social media.
Communicating.
(27:20):
Verbally communicating andarticulating what it is that
you're feeling, which you wantto convey to the other person,
being able to actively listen,comprehend, respond
appropriately.
Okay?
Okay?
That's what y'all need to workon.
(27:41):
But yes, I think, um, Numbersix, learn how to communicate.
Um, very valuable information.
Number, what number was that?
Oh, okay, so number seven,honey.
Number seven.
Hmm.
(28:02):
I, I would say, Hmm.
Don't, don't limit yourselfbased on others opinions or
beliefs.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
One, because first of all, asfar as we know, we only have one
life to live and you have tolive it.
(28:23):
Nobody else.
So why would you, why would you,why would you ever change or
limit or alter anything?
because of somebody else'sopinions or beliefs.
Trash that immediately.
Um, two, everybody has opinionsand beliefs or people.
(28:44):
It is what it is.
Whether their opinion or beliefsalign with yours, it doesn't
really matter.
It doesn't really matter,especially if you're not it
doesn't really matter.
Also.
Guess that's not the reason isbecause we live in a world where
(29:04):
there's just infinite amount ofopportunities and things to do,
and things to accomplish andthink experiences and things
like that.
So why would you ever, becausethey don't know it all either.
So why would you ever listen tosomebody who don't even know
everything?
And if somebody tell you thatthey know everything they do
(29:25):
they some motherfucking lie andyou should get away quickly.
The hell?
And also I just think it holdsyourself back.
It holds yourself back fromamazing opportunities from what,
what aligns with you and yourvalues and what you want out of
life.
So don't ever.
(29:45):
Don't ever limit yourself.
If people, if everybody limitthemselves based on other
opinions or beliefs, we wouldnever progress in any type of
way.
It would be absolutely horrific.
I think also, I think peoplealso limit themselves because of
what they think people are goingto say.
(30:08):
Like people are, people aregoing to think, um, before
they've even said or thoughtanything, you know, we perceive.
What a reaction is going to beand you know, sometimes we limit
ourselves based off of that andit's just such a disservice to
not only ourselves, butpotentially the world.
You don't know what kind ofdifference you can make.
(30:31):
And we can all make adifference.
The hell?
Gee.
You see what we've done already?
Now I know it looks crazy and itlooks a mess.
But really think about all thatwe've done already.
All that you've done yourselfalready.
Big yourself up.
(30:52):
Stop.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Y'all will never get anywhere inlife if you limit yourself.
This is the limitless life.
And if you limit yourself, youare gonna limit your, You just
limit everything.
You limit yourself, then thatlimits, I feel like, things
(31:12):
that, potential opportunitiesand things and experiences that
align with you, um, you'll belimited to how they come to you,
um, if they come to you.
Because if you really want thisone thing, then you need to be
(31:34):
focused and about and have thebig picture of, hey, I'm gonna
get there.
Instead of being scary andsaying no, no, no, I'm gonna
stay over here because There'sthis and that Stuff outside of
your control Hang it up.
Hang it up Number eight.
(31:58):
Number eight is, I'm kind ofthrowing shots with this one but
number eight is you do not haveto know everything and heavy on
the, you'll never.
(32:18):
And if you think you knoweverything, you're stupid.
And I said what I said, I thinkyou're dumb as rocks.
If you think, if you reallythink that you know everything,
I think you're stupid as fuck.
Because that's a limited mindsetto me.
For you to believe that you knoweverything, you don't, you
don't.
I've always said it.
(32:39):
I hate people who walk aroundwith the arrogance about them
that they know it all.
Because it just shows to me thatyou don't and it just, to me, it
just points out in every areathat you lack when you think you
know it all.
I know nothing, as far as I'mconcerned, and I'm okay with
that.
(33:00):
I'm okay with that.
And then also, I don't know whatit is with a lot of you that
feel like you have to likefigure out the world and you
need answers.
Calm down.
How about y'all figure outsomething else, like, figure out
(33:21):
how to make them cancel ourstudent debt instead of y'all
arguing about, No, the earth isreally flat.
Or y'all worried about, Why thisis this and is this the only
life we live?
Well if you spend the whole timeworrying about is this the only
life we live, this life gon passyo ass and I guess you gon see
(33:44):
it end.
I'm like, I don't, I don't know.
What more do you want?
What more do you want?
I feel like when you're, whenyou're in your head feeling like
you have to, feeling crazybecause you don't know anything
or you have to figure outeverything or you have to, you
just have to know this.
Are you living?
Like what do you do?
(34:05):
What are you actually doing?
What are you doing?
Why is it keeping you up atnight?
Why?
I think the beauty in life isthat we don't know everything.
Literally, how boring of ajourney would this be if we all
(34:26):
knew everything?
How boring?
How boring?
How How many of us would sitthere and play a video game over
and over and over again if wehad to do the exact same thing
(34:47):
over Thing to the T.
Because we knew everything.
What, where's the fun in thatvideo game?
Where's the fun?
The fun is in the constantchange.
The only thing in life that isconstant is change.
(35:08):
The unknowing.
That's, that's what makes thisso fun and special.
If everything went your way,sure, maybe you would love it.
Maybe you would, maybe you wouldsay that you love it.
How boring.
(35:29):
You know, just like they say,you know, with the rain and the
sun.
What, what they say with therain and the sun, you know, to
um, or the rainbow, you know, tosee the rainbow, you gotta rain,
something like that.
I don't fucking know.
But the point is, you gotta haveboth.
(35:50):
Okay.
And it's fine not to knoweverything and to live in the
unknown.
I honestly figured that out along time ago.
I, I wish a lot of people wouldjoin.
Like, do you know how many, howmany people in the brain cells
that were used and abused to tryto figure out something that I
(36:12):
feel really, you ain't even gotno business trying to figure it
out.
Keep it pushing and live thelife that you want to live
before it lives you.
Number nine, I'd say do it all,do everything.
(36:34):
Do everything.
Everything that your heartdesires.
And whether it looks quoteunquote correct.
And I don't mean correct inlike, I guess I mean correct in
like the path.
Cause you know, everybody hastheir own path.
Um, and your path, your journeyof course may not look correct
(37:00):
to everybody.
And the things you do and um,participate in might not look
like that for everybody.
But I still say do it all.
Whether it be You know,activities that you want to do,
whether it be different careersthat you want to go into,
(37:21):
whether you want to move 50million times, whether you want
to, whatever.
Do it all.
Do it all when you can.
I mean, I still got a long waysto go.
But I think I can say, I reallydon't have any regrets in my
(37:47):
life so far.
I really don't think I can say,be like, sit here and say like,
Ooh, I truly regret that.
Because I feel like for the mostpart, I've done it all.
What I've really wanted to do.
Whether it look right in themoment to anybody, whatever, I
(38:08):
just do it.
Do it and go full speed ahead.
And hey, if it doesn't work out,if you don't enjoy it, whatever,
whatever it is, then hey, wellat least you can say that you
did it.
cause I feel like in my life sofar, with even all that is yet
to come and to be accomplished,Shit, I think I lived a pretty
(38:35):
damn good life, and I'm proud ofmyself.
Yeah, do it all people.
You know, I've moved to stateswhere I have never even stepped
foot in before I moved therejust because I said yeah.
I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna doit.
(38:56):
Um, it's made me meet someamazing people that I still keep
in touch with today.
It's made me, um, just seedifferent parts of the world,
child, and just see how theylive.
And, um, it's always been, forthe most part, an amazing
(39:17):
experience.
Just doing what I feel I shoulddo.
Which is doing what whatever myheart desires.
So just do it, like Nike.
Okay, they said, they knew, theyknew, just do it.
Number 10, health and wellness.
(39:43):
Okay, this is something thatI've learned, but I am still
working on.
when it comes to the health andwellness thing.
Um, I don't feel like it wasdrilled into a lot of kids or to
a lot of people in general.
Um, how much, okay.
(40:07):
I feel like we were taught thisscientific way of, you know,
what's inside our body and howit works per se, per se.
But there is never really Thisdeep connection, per se, I
guess, between like, the person,at least I'll speak for myself,
(40:31):
especially as a child, um, Idon't know, to like really get
in tune with your body.
I don't feel like I've ever, um,actively tried to get in tune
with my body until I was around23, 24.
(40:52):
And that's when I started tofeel like, Oh, okay.
Okay.
I don't know, where I justunderstood and I just felt, I
felt the best that I had.
Probably all my life.
Yeah, that is extremely,extremely, extremely important.
(41:17):
And for me personally, I mean,when you, when I think, and it
speaks to how your body respondsto how important it is.
It really does.
I can tell a major difference,of course, when I'm, Um,
consistently exercising andeating well, and I can tell the
(41:39):
difference when I'm not asmobile and not eating well, or
at all, or enough, um, and,yikes, is what I can say is,
yikes, I really wish that wewere, taught how food and plants
(41:59):
really are medicine and how,they interact with our bodies
and things like that.
I truly wish we were taught thatand it was instilled in us as
children.
I really hope to instill that inmy children.
(42:20):
That, you know, food and plantsor medicine and being in tune
with your body and knowing andlistening to your body is
extremely important.
I feel like we listen to ourbody in different ways, but we
don't always listen to it whenit comes to the health and
aspects, health, health andwellness aspect of it.
(42:40):
Um, I think we listen when, youknow, We listen when we're in
pain sometimes, or we listenwhen we have like a gut feeling.
Um, but again, I don'tnecessarily feel like a lot of
people are really in tune withtheir bodies and are listening
(43:03):
to their bodies to then dobetter for their bodies.
You know what I mean?
And you only got one.
So, y'all better make that shitwork.
Make that shit shake.
Y'all better get up and move,work.
Okay, if you don't want nobodywiping your ass, then get up.
(43:23):
Get up.
Be consistent and get up,literally.
Um, working in a nursingrehabilitation home was an
absolutely amazing, amazing,amazing, amazing experience.
and it was very, inspirationalto see an 103 year old up every
(43:45):
morning, up walking, making lapsaround the nursing home and just
reading and dancing.
We would dance sometimes andthings like that.
And you know, I, she's gettingup, she's moving, she's eating
well.
(44:05):
You know what I mean?
And it, it seems really these,when I'm saying it, it seems
like such a minute change, but Iunderstand like, especially
living in America, how intricateand difficult it can be to do
(44:25):
better and eat better and theaccess to these things, um, and
to exercise and things likethat.
Um, I do know it's so difficult,but if you can't do it, It'll
only be, it'll only be great foryou and your health.
(44:47):
Health really is wealth.
Because if you don't have yourhealth, yeah, I mean essentially
you have nothing.
Number eleven, I would say, Leanon your support system and
maintain those importantrelationships.
(45:08):
I'm putting that all in one.
For me, it's always been verydifficult to lean on people and
ask for help.
Um, Since the birth of my sonand, when I was pregnant with
him, it had gotten a lot betterand it's progressively getting
better.
(45:29):
As well as me leaning on themand me being more open, I guess,
and upfront about certainthings.
Like in my life or I guessthings that I think are
important to me Just I don'tknow cuz I feel like sometimes
I've been closed off I'm likepeople don't really know what's
going on with me.
(45:49):
And it's like I don't Well,sometimes I do it purposefully
but um Not all the time Not allthe time.
So I've gotten better with that,and I've definitely gotten
better with, like I said, um,just reaching out to people when
(46:09):
I need, when I need help.
I don't like to, and I kind ofrefuse now to sit for in
silence.
Like, that's not really a thingof mine.
If I feel something, I'm gonnasay it.
And also, like I said, likemaintaining those important
relationships.
I definitely need to work onthat because I feel like, you
(46:32):
know, I'd be lifing, but I alsofeel like that's not an excuse.
Um, but I do try, you know, whenI think of people, I try to just
text them in the moment or callthem in the moment, right when
I'm thinking of them, because alot of times if I don't like a
lot of time will go by and, um,Yeah, unfortunately, like, I
(46:56):
just won't talk to them and, um,I'm already really bad at
texting.
So, it's just, it's just a wholething.
It's, it's something that I'mstruggling with a bit and I'm
just trying to juggle, I'm justtrying to juggle a lot of things
at once.
There's a lot of moving pieces,a lot of new things happening,
(47:19):
so it's.
It's hard, but family andfriends, I really am trying my
best.
I'm trying my best.
I really am, but I will, I knowI will get to a place where it
won't be like that.
And not only will I be able tostay in touch more, but I'll be
(47:39):
able to see everybody moreconsistently, so I'm excited
about that.
It's all gonna come together indue time, it's just, I kind of
hate that it's like this now,but not for long guys, not for
long.
Number twelve.
(48:01):
I would say don't take yourselftoo seriously.
Again, I'm working on that.
But like, don't.
Like, Why?
Why do you need to be so uptightand so serious for?
Loosen up a bit.
You know what I mean?
In all settings.
Just be.
Just be.
(48:23):
Yeah, you don't have to takeyourself too seriously.
You don't have to be a certainway all the time.
You know what I mean?
Loosen up.
It's okay.
Show yourself.
Let yourself shine.
You really don't know the typeof people and opportunities,
experiences, and things andstuff like that, that will come
(48:46):
to you just being you, justshowing yourself to whomever,
you know what I mean?
So loosen up and let those wingsfly, honey.
Stop having, like, impostersyndrome or Second guessing
yourself, just, what I say, justdo it.
(49:07):
Like Nike.
Don't take yourself tooseriously.
Life's too short for that.
And, number thirteen.
We're gonna end this, um, inthis episode here on number 13,
half of 26, honey.
And I guess I'll see you, nextweek with part two, but half of
(49:34):
26, 13.
Hmm.
I would say, look what I'velearned.
I learned that this is a videogame.
This is a video game.
And You know, instantly Istarted thinking about sims.
(49:55):
This is, I am a sim character.
This is a video game.
I am, you know, always creatingand altering my character.
I am always evolving.
I have created a family.
(50:17):
But, um, thinking about life asa video game and yourself as
like a character, and you know,I think really simplifies and
makes it, makes life a little, alittle less serious, a little
more forgiving, and you just,you know, You instantly
(50:40):
understand it on a differentlevel, like, this is literally a
video game.
It's a video game.
The world is the console.
Now if we don't get this, Globalwarming and pollution and all
this stuff together, the consolegone.
(51:01):
Shut off, but We're nevertalking about that.
Um But for real, this is a videogame and that also makes me feel
so much better about life, toowhen you think about it in the
video game, like Because what doyou do in the video game?
Yeah, you explore, you do allthe stuff, but uh, but um You
(51:25):
can fail And that's okay Cuz youknow why?
You just restart the game again.
That's all you do.
You just restart.
And then, it's brand new.
So if you just restart,everything's fine.
(51:46):
It's literally like it neverhappened.
But, it did happen, now you havethe knowledge.
Now you have the knowledge,right?
So play it again.
Play the game again.
Play it however many times.
You're gonna win.
Winner of the odds Come on.
(52:07):
The odds are for you.
You're gonna win.
This is a video game.
None of this stuff matters.
Okay, it does.
It does matter, guys.
Don't, don't take it to heart.
It does matter.
But, Not the little stuff.
Don't sweat the little stuff.
This is just a video game.
You're just creating yourcharacter.
(52:28):
Just going through life.
Bye.
That's it.
It's pretty simple here guys,you know.
Now there's a lot of othervariables that are outside of
our control, but we focus onwhat we can control.
All right, this is a video game.
(52:48):
Oh my goodness.
Anyways, like I said, we'regoing to end on number 13
because if we continue we'regoing to be here all day.
And that's not what I want.
And I don't think that's whatyou want either.
And even if you did want it,honey, you're not getting it
from me, not today.
But I hope that you guys enjoyedthis a little bit.
(53:10):
And it made you think.
Think about what you've learned.
And, or what you need tocontinue learning.
Um, y'all got stuff to work on.
We're all works in progress.
Nobody's perfect.
I don't aim to be.
I just aim to be me.
My little character in thisgame.
And I can say that I'm veryproud of myself and my
(53:32):
character.
I love I love this game.
I love this game This game thisgame has been you know, all
that's come with it.
I have some talents this gamehas been Pretty damn good.
I'm, sorry Pretty damn good So Ihope you guys Continue to love
(54:00):
the video game that you're in.
And if not, baby, put anotherdisc in, okay?
Put another disc in, that's it.
Play with different rules.
But I think that wraps thisepisode up.
(54:20):
You know, the sun has officiallyset on this episode of Stage and
Sunshine.
I thank you all for rocking withme through this, you know,
transition kind of crazy time.
Uh, I'm trying to keep it goingstrong, y'all.
I feel like from the beginning,it's just been kind of a lot of
(54:40):
stuff getting in the way ofthis, but I am not over it.
Finished.
Okay.
So, we're gonna keep going.
I'm gonna keep, um, playing thispart of the video game as much
as I can.
And, I hope that you guys havean amazing, amazing weekend.
(55:01):
thank you to all the amazingfathers out there, we need you,
we love you, we support you, andhappy father's day to you, and a
happy birthday to me, all youbitches is my sons, let me get
off this microphone and stopplaying y'all.
Like I said, I hope y'all have afabulous weekend.
Happy Juneteenth.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy Father's Day and Woopwoop, let's turn up Signing off
(55:27):
Oh,
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