April 29, 2025 • 36 mins
What if the key to a longer, healthier, more fulfilling life isn't found in the latest wellness trend, but in something far more fundamental? David and Hannah Sage delve into the surprisingly powerful impact of human connection in a world that increasingly pushes us toward individualism and digital relationships.
They introduce a simple yet revealing test: Who would you call at 3 AM during an emergency? The answer often exposes the gap between our social media connections and genuine support networks. Through compelling research and personal insights, they explore how strong social ties directly impact our physical health, mental wellbeing, and even our lifespan.
Drawing from fascinating Blue Zones research, where communities worldwide enjoy exceptional longevity, they highlight how shared gardens, communal cooking, and collective problem-solving create the foundation for not just longer lives, but more meaningful ones. The podcast offers practical guidance for building authentic support systems—from immediate family and close friends to pets and broader community connections.
Perhaps most powerfully, David and Hannah challenge listeners with a counterintuitive solution for those feeling isolated: give what you wish to receive. By supporting others who feel alone, you create the very connections you're seeking. They share observations from their travels in Japan, where small community-minded acts create a fabric of care that extends to strangers.
Whether you're feeling isolated, sensing your relationships lack depth, or simply wanting to strengthen your existing connections, this episode provides actionable insights for creating the support network we all need to thrive. Because as the science clearly shows, we're simply not designed to go through life alone.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
We are lucky enough to bejoined by one of my two
(00:25):
reoccurring co-hosts, my wifeHannah Sage.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey, hey, let's get it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
But before we get into it, our goal with this
podcast is to share free,helpful tools with you and
anyone you know who is lookingto improve their life.
You know who's looking toimprove?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
This is step one of our 12-partseries on each member of the
beloved childhood classic SesameStreet.
Episode one Oscar the Grouchand his outlook on life.
Oscar the Grouch and hisoutlook on life.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
If we take a deep look into Oscar's philosophical
values, we can see that Nihilismis the only way to live life.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
No, but in all seriousness, in this episode
we're going to be talking aboutthe power of support systems and
also the incredible benefit ofembracing community.
These are often overlooked inour increasingly individualistic
society, especially out in theWest, here in America.
(01:39):
It can be tough to find thebalance between trying to do the
(02:00):
best for yourself, your life,your family and I mean honestly
develop yourself, like personaldevelopment, and doing things
for the greater good, helpingother people and being
altruistic.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Sometimes these seem like they can be at odds.
I believe that they don't haveto be.
With the ever-increasing socialmedia systems in place, I do
think it's a lot easier toalmost trick yourself into
believing that you do have acommunity and a larger group of
(02:27):
people.
I believe you mentioned this inan episode past David, where
you kind of said if you were totake a look at the relationships
that you could call in themiddle of the night, was that
during a podcast or was thatjust us talking?
It might have been just ustalking.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Actually, I think it might have come up in a book
that we were both listening to.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh yeah, that's right .
Speaker 1 (02:46):
The book was Building a Non-Anxious Life by Dr John
Deloney, if anyone's interested.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Okay, well then I will fill you guys in.
If you were to have anemergency in the middle of the
night and you had to callsomeone to help you, maybe watch
your kids come pick you up.
It's 3 am.
Who do you have to call?
A lot of people have a verysmall number of people that they
(03:14):
would feel safe enough andwould trust enough to call at
that crazy late hour and trustfor them to come and help them.
The point that I was makingwith the age of social media,
the amount of people that wehave available to call at a
(03:34):
moment's notice might not be aslarge as our Facebook friends
count.
As I'd say, a majority ofpeople don't have that many
people to call, unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, sort of a quality over quantity.
You know, you can say I have5,000 friends on Facebook, but
if none of them would meet youout for coffee, that's not
necessarily really worth much.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
No, I think you make a good point.
Especially take like Reddit,where Right little bit of a
sense of community by being apart of these different
subreddits, almost sort ofgetting a little bit of identity
(04:26):
as somebody who subscribes tothat.
But that's not going to giveyou that real sense of community
that we're going to talk aboutin a little bit and it's
definitely not going to give youthat core feeling that a good
support system will give you.
So why don't we start withsupport systems and kind of
break that down and get into it?
Consider the feeling of sharinga success with people who
(04:51):
genuinely celebrate your wins.
This shared joy amplifies thepositive emotions and reinforces
your sense of accomplishment.
On the flip side, when you'restruggling, having a community
to lean on can provide comfort,perspective and practical
assistance that you might not beable to access on your own.
(05:13):
This could be anything from afriend offering a shoulder to
cry on to a neighbor helpingwith a task that you're feeling
overwhelmed with.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
A quick Google search defines a support system as a
network of individuals whoprovide an individual with
practical or emotional support.
This network can include family, friends, mentors, colleagues
or even professional resources.
The goal of a support system isto provide encouragement,
(05:44):
advice and care to helpindividuals navigate challenges
and to thrive.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Think about a time in your life when you faced a
significant challenge, Whetherit's a career change, or maybe a
personal loss, or even a periodof intense stress.
What helped you navigate thoseturbulent times?
Chances are.
The presence of supportivepeople.
People that are a major part ofyour life played a crucial role
(06:13):
in you getting through thosetimes.
We are inherently socialcreatures, and the connections
that we forge with others arenot just pleasant additions to
our lives.
They are fundamental to ourresilience and to our growth,
and the science backs this up.
A wealth of research highlightsthe profound impact of social
(06:35):
support on both our mental andphysical health.
For instance, a landmark studypublished in the Journal of
Health and Social Behavior foundthat individuals with strong
social ties have a significantlylower risk of mortality
compared to those with weakerconnections.
This isn't just about feelinggood.
(06:56):
It's about actual, tangiblehealth benefits.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's crazy what you said about the mortality rate,
Because I just think about Ithink about the older generation
and someday it'll be us as well.
But when their community andthe people around them start to
pass and they're probablyfeeling like the only ones left
(07:21):
of that subsect of people ofthat generation, I'm sure it's
lonely and, yes, you still haveother people, but they're not
going to fully understand thesame way as your peers would
have.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Right, because they're at a similar phase of
life and age where they're goingto have an understanding of
what you're going through in away that somebody who might be
25 years younger than youprobably isn't.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Right Different experiences.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Well, there's also a bunch of research in longevity
about how vitally important itis to have good social
connections and social ties, andthere's a pretty good amount of
data showing that people livelonger healthier if they
maintain good social connectionsand ties.
And there's a pretty goodamount of data showing that
people live longer healthier ifthey maintain good social
connections and ties.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
That actually reminds me of a documentary that
Netflix came out with a coupleof years ago, and it was all
about living longer, fuller,happier lives in certain areas
of the world.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Was this the one with Dan Buettner?
Something about living to 100in the blue zones?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, yeah, the guy with the hair.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yes, the guy with the hair.
What no, the blue zone guy.
He wrote like a book about ityes.
So do you mind explaining, likebecause this was all about the
blue zones, do you mind, likefilling anyone who doesn't know
what I'm talking about?
And it's like blue zones whatthe blue zones are totally so.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Blue zones are geographic regions where people
are known to live exceptionallylong lives, like over 100 years
old.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Which is where the term centenarians and super
centenarians, or people thatlive to 100, people that live
over 100, they have like reallyhigh concentrations of those
right.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Mm-hmm these areas.
They have lower rates ofchronic disease.
Their lifestyle includes morephysical activity as they age,
lower stress.
I remember them mentioningbetter social connections and
having a community.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Basically like every one of them right and they're
all over the world.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It's like Sardinia, greece, okinawa, japan,
somewhere, melinda California orsomething Somewhere in
California and then I think itwas like Costa Rica.
I used to know these by heart.
I'm a little rusty.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But their big thing that I mean.
They all had a lot of things incommon.
So I definitely say go watchthis documentary.
It's very, very good and veryinsightful.
However, all of them have thisidea that community and
surrounding yourself with peoplewho care for you and you care
for them, is a huge must to livean abundant, fall long life.
Some of the examples that Iremember from the documentary
(10:28):
about having a community theywould all get together and share
things from each other's gardenor help each other in their
garden, and these are people whoare 90, 100 years old, digging
in the dirt on their hands andknees in each other's gardens,
socializing all day and reapingthe benefits of their friendship
by passing all of their harvestalong to other people around
(10:48):
them, Like that's beautiful.
They also had an example, whichI thought was incredible, where
they would pool a certainamount of their finances all
together and that lump sum wouldgo to anyone's medical bills
when it came to something thatwould happen while aging whether
someone needed a surgery.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh yeah, that's right .
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, isn't that cool .
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I also remember one in Italy where they would all
get together and cook togetherto like make a bunch of food for
a number of the people in thecommunity.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But anyways, go watch this documentary, because I
mean, I'm speaking for myself,but I think David was too.
I cried more than I should have.
It was a beautiful documentary.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It was really, really , really good.
I liked it for a lot of reasons.
Some of the research inpositive psychology demonstrates
that a sense of belonging andconnection to a community
contributes significantly to ouroverall happiness and life
satisfaction.
When we feel seen, understoodand supported, we experience
(11:57):
lower levels of stress, anxietyand depression.
Our support systems act as abuffer against life's inevitable
stressors.
Knowing that you have people inyour corner who believe in you,
who offer a listening ear orwho can provide practical help
can make all the difference whenfacing adversity.
(12:18):
When it comes to having asupport system, a support system
is not just the one person thatyou can call in the middle of
the night.
Support systems are bigger andmade up of a broader scope of
different people, and not alwayseven people.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I mean so my cat Luffy can be part of my support
system.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Absolutely, in fact, let's start here.
Generally, a support systemstarts with people's family.
Now look, everyone's individualsituations when it comes to
family and friends arecompletely different, and I am
generalizing here.
Everyone's situation isdifferent and some of what I'm
saying may not apply to you isdifferent, and some of what I'm
(13:04):
saying may not apply to you, butfor a lot of people, their
blood relatives, their closeimmediate family, is a huge part
of their support system,whether it be siblings, parents,
children and especially spouse.
(13:25):
These are the people that areabsolutely there for you at the
drop of a hat and often therefor you, all the time and in
your life, regularly.
Then we have the next layer out, which is going to be like
non-immediate family Aunts,uncles, cousins, grandchildren
and very close friends, likeyour best friends.
(13:48):
Now, for some people, theirfamily is a chosen family and
some of their friends are theirfamily.
Other people have takensomebody on as a parental figure
and that person is sort of likea parent.
Any of these people can begreat examples of a good support
system the people that haveyour back no matter what.
(14:11):
The people that truly care.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And then come our pets right.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yes, actually, I'm just going to let you have this
one.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, well, I feel like then comes like neighbors
and people around you, butespecially your animals.
So Luffy is my personalsecurity blanket.
He's actually sitting like twofeet away from me on his
favorite blanket just staring atme, because he's a good little
(14:43):
boy, he is literally doing thatright now.
He is.
But anyways, he is a greatsupport system because, honestly
, sometimes I just need to talkand not necessarily hear anyone
say anything back.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
that's where he comes in and you know he has no
judgment no, he just loves melike.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I wish you guys could see him the way he's looking at
me.
Oh my goodness he's.
He makes my heart melt we alsohave another cat she's great too
.
She's almost a little bit moreyour support system.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Ginny is this beautiful little cat that is
ultra snuggly, mostly just withme, but sometimes with Hannah.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Only when I'm asleep.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Or just close to asleep.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
She just uses me as a warm body.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Anyways, everyone's going to have different
situations with their animals,but a dog can be a huge benefit
and a cat can be a huge benefit,or really any other pet.
We're not looking todiscriminate in pets here.
Pets can be a great part ofyour support system.
Often they give youunconditional love and you don't
(16:00):
have to have as complex of arelationship with them and they
can support you in verysimplistic and pure ways.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Like relieving your anxiety, comforting you.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Or just being excited that you came home.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yeah, however, with that being said, please don't
just call your dog or cat whenyou're having a medical
emergency With that one.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
You actually need a live person to help you with and
you can have a broader supportsystem Some really great
neighbors.
Like you said, your doctor,Maybe a therapist can be a great
part of your support system.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Or even a work colleague or boss.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Absolutely.
Your support system getsbroader and more advanced as it
spreads out.
It's not just those people thatare your absolute ride or dies.
You build this overall supportsystem that can help you in the
tough times and celebrate you inthe good times.
Now, hannah and I are luckyenough to have, honestly, a
(17:05):
really great support system.
When we were going through thatbook, her and I had a
conversation about how impressedwe were with how large that
number of people was for us andI'm not saying that to brag, I'm
saying that out of honestly,honestly, just pure gratitude
for those people and you knowwho you are if you're listening
(17:28):
that are such a big part of ourlife and are so important to us
that we hope to be a part ofthat for you too.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, we are so incredibly lucky to have the
friends and family that we dohave.
A short, and sweet quote that Ienjoy from Helen Keller is
alone we can do so little, buttogether we can do so much.
I like the simplicity of that.
(18:02):
It's very quick to remember inthe moment, especially when
generally I tend to be a stuffer, like I want to stuff all of my
emotions and problems down andnot really let my community or
David in.
And I feel like that's a reallygood short, sweet quote to
(18:22):
remind myself I can do more if Iallow someone in than just by
myself.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
No, that's.
It's a really good quote fromsomebody that was in a position
that obviously needed the helpand helped others.
But you might be thinking thatall sounds great, but how do I
actually build and nurture theselike vital support systems?
And what if I don't havesomeone like that?
(18:51):
What if I don't have thatsupport system?
We're not having this podcastto shame you for not having it.
That would be an incrediblycounterproductive goal.
What I will say is anyone canlearn and grow and build these
(19:14):
relationships if they put thetime and effort in.
It won't necessarily be easy.
It won't necessarily come onthe first try.
It may require you to do alittle bit of work on yourself
and to do some self-reflectionand acceptance.
Well, let me start here.
If you want to build theseconnections one, don't be a
dickhead.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Nice wording.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It's actually a quote from a guest that was on Tim
Ferriss' podcast recently andthat is actually how he
evaluates whether he should bedoing something or not.
He asks if he's being adickhead and it made me laugh,
but he said it was asurprisingly helpful way of
(19:58):
evaluating whether he should dosomething or not.
Would he come off that way?
In all seriousness, be kind toother people, genuinely care
about other people.
If you want other people tocare about you, you're going to
need to genuinely care aboutthem.
You don't get to have thosepeople be a part of your support
(20:20):
system and not be a part oftheirs.
That type of a lopsidedrelationship is not going to
breed that for you.
So, second, you're probablygoing to need to have try to be
(20:40):
friends with these people.
Try to have good socialinteractions.
Not just do whatever fits bestfor you, but actually try and
make people feel validated, feelheard, be an active listener,
talk about things that interestthem.
Be a good friend, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Be the friend that you wish you had.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes.
The next thing I would say isyou're going to need to be
vulnerable with people, oof.
Yeah Well, you have to open up.
You have to share some of yourweaknesses.
All of my closest friends knowmy weaknesses, both because they
can see them and because I'mnot afraid to share them.
I am not a fast writer.
(21:25):
I have sloppy handwriting.
I am slow at a lot of taskscompared to the average person.
I have my fair share ofdownsides.
I get distracted easily with myADHD, though oddly not when I'm
listening to people.
I find listening to peoplegenuinely and intently very
(21:45):
fascinating, so that's kind ofone of the areas I've lucked out
with my ADHD.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You are very good at listening.
I will give you that Dishesmaybe not so much.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Organization.
Look, the list goes on and on.
I'm not perfect, and neitherare you.
And no, I'm actually nottalking to my wife, I'm talking
to you, the listener.
Hey, um, and nobody wants to befriends with someone that is
perfect because, frankly, itdoesn't exist.
(22:17):
It's totally unrelatable, whichis why being vulnerable, being
open, is actually what connectsyou to other people.
But you have to use some socialawareness with this.
Don't just be wildly open andovershare with any random person
that you meet in an elevator.
You know there's some shades ofgray here.
(22:38):
You have to find the balance.
So use vulnerability in asocially intelligent way when
you have built enough of aconnection, or use it in smaller
increments when you're firstgetting to know people.
Be patient, take time and buildthese relationships slowly with
(23:02):
people that you genuinely havean interest with.
Don can really do something totake care of someone.
If you're feeling lonely, gotake care of someone who's
(23:29):
feeling alone.
If you're feeling unloved, gotake care of someone who's
feeling unloved Because, believeit or not, they're going to
feel those feelings back for you, not necessarily in a romantic
way.
This is not what I'm talkingabout.
What I'm saying is to give anexample if you're feeling lonely
(23:56):
.
Go spend time with someonewho's feeling lonely in a
nursing home.
The amount of joy that youwould give that person and how
happy they will be to see youand how happy they will be to
have you come each time willmake you not feel lonely.
(24:16):
You will both be contributingand giving love to someone else
and receiving it yourself.
Start by giving what you'd liketo receive.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
That's really good.
I feel like sometimes we thinkof these big grand gestures to
make people care for us more,like we need to get a big gift
for them or we need to show themjust how much they mean to us
in these big, elaborate ways.
But we could just do.
Maybe we could just spend alittle time with each other,
(24:51):
whether it be listening, whetherit be playing a game of chess
or doing something that maybeyou're not as interested in, but
you know that the individualthat you're doing it with is
incredibly interested in thiscertain topic.
Do something that they want todo.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, taking an interest in other people's
interests is a great way tobuild connection with people
that you want to have morerelationship with, like.
At the end of the day, itreally starts with
intentionality.
You can start reaching out topeople that you admire and
(25:31):
connect with them.
Invest time in some of yourexisting relationships.
You can build those into therelationships that you want, if
these are the right people.
Consider joining groups ororganizations that align with
your interests.
You may make some really great,genuine friends there.
And don't be afraid to bevulnerable, like I said, and to
(25:52):
share your experiences.
It's often through that openhonesty and vulnerability that
deeper connections are forged.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
And piggybacking off of that.
I do want to share that noteverybody who's in your support
system currently will be in yoursupport system 10 years from
now, or there might be peoplethat you don't even know yet who
will play a huge part in yourfuture social circle, and not
only that.
There's going to be ebbs andflows in relationships, because
(26:26):
that's just how things go.
I've had people who are my mainsupport system who no longer
aren't really my main supportsystem anymore, and other people
who've been a little bit moreof a peripheral part of my
support system have moved deeperinto that inner circle and
become some of my main supportsystem.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Right, and not everyone needs to be a part of
that inner core support system.
Not everyone needs to be yourbest friend.
There is something to kind ofprotecting your energy to a
degree and finding the peoplethat actually fit that inner
support system.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Right, don't shove a square knob through a circle.
Well, you guys know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Square peg into a round hole.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yes, thank you, but anyways, that's actually true.
So if it's a relationship orfriendship, that's just not
particularly meshing, it's okayto let that friendship be more
of a peripheral friend.
They don't have to be, likeDavid said, in your inner circle
.
Keep your inner circle tightand be choosy about your people,
(27:44):
cause those are the people whoare going to shape you and
support you and help you growand learn and to be there with
you through all the happiesttimes of your life.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And I don't know if I would use the term be choosy,
but I agree with you insentiment.
I would just say be intentionalthat's better.
Yes, um, you don't have to belike snobby or picky with it.
Not that I think you weresaying that.
I just think it could beinterpreted that way intentional
is a much better word for thatbecause, at the end of the day,
(28:20):
there's a saying that goes youare the average of the 10 people
that you spend the most timewith, so you might want to think
about what that average makes,and if there are people that you
wouldn't want to be a part ofthat average, then maybe they
shouldn't be in those top fiveor 10 people.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Right, no, that makes sense.
I definitely think of whenyou're younger.
I think a lot of people havethis universal experience.
But when you're younger andyou're going to bars frequently,
you tend to hang out with, likebar goer, party people who are
there for a good time drinking,like it's a good time when
you're 21.
However, when you're 30 and notreally all about that going out
(29:07):
all the time lifestyle, youtend to those friendships tend
to peter out, which I think istotally natural.
You just have different valuesand alignments.
You're heading in differentdirections.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
But sometimes they don't, because they may be
changing in that same direction,which is why we have to take it
as a case-by-case basis.
But I totally get what you mean.
When people are in verydifferent phases of life, that
disconnect often just naturallyhappens.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Right, exactly, and it's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
So I think we've done a pretty good job of really
getting across how important asupport system is and some ways
to build one for yourself.
So let's talk about embracingour community or communities
that we're a part of.
Joining or being a part of acommunity isn't just about
receiving support.
(30:05):
It's also about giving back.
When we actively participate inour communities, whether it's
through volunteering, joininglocal groups or simply being a
supportive neighbor we cultivatea sense of purpose and
belonging.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yes, that local Dungeons and Dragons group does
count.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Or the gardening group in the.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Blue Zone Exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Contributing to something larger than yourself
can be incredibly rewarding, andit strengthens the fabric of
the entire community.
One thing that we noticed whenwe were on our honeymoon in
Japan was that there was apervasive sense of just overall
large-scale community.
(30:50):
Everyone cared about everyoneelse there.
Everyone did things with otherpeople in mind.
There was just an overarchingfeeling of community and care,
and I think we could embracemore of that here in the United
States.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Even when it came to strangers.
I remember getting on the trainand it was peak busy time so it
was jam packed and everyone hasswitched their backpack from
their back to their front sothat way they can be very
conscious and hold on to theirbag so they're not knocking into
anybody else.
And that's just a common normto try to not take up as much
(31:31):
space because you don't want toinconvenience anyone else.
Yes, exactly, and there are manyother examples.
That was just a small littleexample of what we saw when we
were in Japan.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Now I'm not suggesting that we go in and
change the culture of the UnitedStates.
What I am saying is that we cantake some of those lessons and
ways of thinking about others totake steps that better our
communities and start to makesome of those choices in our
larger and smaller communities.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I feel like we could just all use a little extra care
.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
So how would we go about joining a community?
Well, for one.
We all constantly live incommunities Cities, states,
nations, the world, humanity,living beings, earth.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Well, the internet's a great place to start, whether
it be through Facebook groups,reddit groups, finding out
what's local in your area.
Honestly, even coffee shops byus have a bulletin board where
they post about various clubs,meetings, community events and
volunteer opportunities.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
While I do think that the internet can be a good
place to start if you want toactually feel the benefits of
community, oftentimes you'regoing to find that you're going
to find that you'll have astronger sense of community in
in-person forms of community bychoosing and becoming parts of
(33:12):
some smaller subset communitiesthat have similar interests.
Not that you can't also findtight-knit communities online.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Right, like taking in-person art lessons or pottery
, or having a somewhat regularboard game night or, honestly,
maybe even joining a church.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Or a softball team.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You actually had some really good experiences with
community and church growing up,didn't you?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I did so.
Growing up in a church, wealways had volunteer
opportunities, so we spent a lotof time going to nursing homes,
cleaning up trash in parks,volunteering at local homeless
shelters, serving meals.
It was something that was veryingrained in my childhood about
(34:03):
taking care of other people, andthen it carried into my adult
life as well, even when I didstep away from attending regular
church services.
I would volunteer regularly atsoup kitchens or even smaller
things while I'm out on a hikeand I'd bring a trash bag with
me.
Like it's super small and easyto be able to just clean up
(34:25):
trash and you might even getsome other people who are
willing to help you with thatand go for a hike and enjoy
nature as well.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So the moral of the story is find some broader or
smaller communities that you cangive back to, so that beyond
just your tight-knit supportsystem, you have a broader sense
of being connected to a largercommunity, a community that can
help, support you, but also acommunity that you can give back
(34:55):
to and contribute to.
Remember contribution is one ofour six human needs and
community is a great way to meetit.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
So let's go create our community.
That sounds pretty good.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
So, as you go about your week, I encourage you to
reflect on your own supportsystems.
Are you actively nurturingthose connections?
Are you open to embracing thecommunities around you?
Remember you don't have tonavigate life's challenges alone
.
By investing in ourrelationships and embracing the
power of community, we build astronger foundation for personal
(35:31):
growth, resilience and a morefulfilling life.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Bye guys, thanks for listening to us and I'm excited
to potentially hear what kind ofcommunities you guys are
creating.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
And remember you are enough and you deserve to fill
up your inner cup with happiness, confidence and self-compassion
.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
(36:12):
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more Sage advice.
Out on more sage advice.
(36:33):
One last thing the legallanguage this podcast is for
educational and informationalpurposes only.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist.
Thank you.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
We are lucky enough to bejoined by one of my two
(00:25):
reoccurring co-hosts, my wifeHannah Sage.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey, hey, let's get it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
But before we get into it, our goal with this
podcast is to share free,helpful tools with you and
anyone you know who is lookingto improve their life.
You know who's looking toimprove?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
This is step one of our 12-partseries on each member of the
beloved childhood classic SesameStreet.
Episode one Oscar the Grouchand his outlook on life.
Oscar the Grouch and hisoutlook on life.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
If we take a deep look into Oscar's philosophical
values, we can see that Nihilismis the only way to live life.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
No, but in all seriousness, in this episode
we're going to be talking aboutthe power of support systems and
also the incredible benefit ofembracing community.
These are often overlooked inour increasingly individualistic
society, especially out in theWest, here in America.
(01:39):
It can be tough to find thebalance between trying to do the
(02:00):
best for yourself, your life,your family and I mean honestly
develop yourself, like personaldevelopment, and doing things
for the greater good, helpingother people and being
altruistic.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Sometimes these seem like they can be at odds.
I believe that they don't haveto be.
With the ever-increasing socialmedia systems in place, I do
think it's a lot easier toalmost trick yourself into
believing that you do have acommunity and a larger group of
(02:27):
people.
I believe you mentioned this inan episode past David, where
you kind of said if you were totake a look at the relationships
that you could call in themiddle of the night, was that
during a podcast or was thatjust us talking?
It might have been just ustalking.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Actually, I think it might have come up in a book
that we were both listening to.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh yeah, that's right .
Speaker 1 (02:46):
The book was Building a Non-Anxious Life by Dr John
Deloney, if anyone's interested.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Okay, well then I will fill you guys in.
If you were to have anemergency in the middle of the
night and you had to callsomeone to help you, maybe watch
your kids come pick you up.
It's 3 am.
Who do you have to call?
A lot of people have a verysmall number of people that they
(03:14):
would feel safe enough andwould trust enough to call at
that crazy late hour and trustfor them to come and help them.
The point that I was makingwith the age of social media,
the amount of people that wehave available to call at a
(03:34):
moment's notice might not be aslarge as our Facebook friends
count.
As I'd say, a majority ofpeople don't have that many
people to call, unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, sort of a quality over quantity.
You know, you can say I have5,000 friends on Facebook, but
if none of them would meet youout for coffee, that's not
necessarily really worth much.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
No, I think you make a good point.
Especially take like Reddit,where Right little bit of a
sense of community by being apart of these different
subreddits, almost sort ofgetting a little bit of identity
(04:26):
as somebody who subscribes tothat.
But that's not going to giveyou that real sense of community
that we're going to talk aboutin a little bit and it's
definitely not going to give youthat core feeling that a good
support system will give you.
So why don't we start withsupport systems and kind of
break that down and get into it?
Consider the feeling of sharinga success with people who
(04:51):
genuinely celebrate your wins.
This shared joy amplifies thepositive emotions and reinforces
your sense of accomplishment.
On the flip side, when you'restruggling, having a community
to lean on can provide comfort,perspective and practical
assistance that you might not beable to access on your own.
(05:13):
This could be anything from afriend offering a shoulder to
cry on to a neighbor helpingwith a task that you're feeling
overwhelmed with.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
A quick Google search defines a support system as a
network of individuals whoprovide an individual with
practical or emotional support.
This network can include family, friends, mentors, colleagues
or even professional resources.
The goal of a support system isto provide encouragement,
(05:44):
advice and care to helpindividuals navigate challenges
and to thrive.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Think about a time in your life when you faced a
significant challenge, Whetherit's a career change, or maybe a
personal loss, or even a periodof intense stress.
What helped you navigate thoseturbulent times?
Chances are.
The presence of supportivepeople.
People that are a major part ofyour life played a crucial role
(06:13):
in you getting through thosetimes.
We are inherently socialcreatures, and the connections
that we forge with others arenot just pleasant additions to
our lives.
They are fundamental to ourresilience and to our growth,
and the science backs this up.
A wealth of research highlightsthe profound impact of social
(06:35):
support on both our mental andphysical health.
For instance, a landmark studypublished in the Journal of
Health and Social Behavior foundthat individuals with strong
social ties have a significantlylower risk of mortality
compared to those with weakerconnections.
This isn't just about feelinggood.
(06:56):
It's about actual, tangiblehealth benefits.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's crazy what you said about the mortality rate,
Because I just think about Ithink about the older generation
and someday it'll be us as well.
But when their community andthe people around them start to
pass and they're probablyfeeling like the only ones left
(07:21):
of that subsect of people ofthat generation, I'm sure it's
lonely and, yes, you still haveother people, but they're not
going to fully understand thesame way as your peers would
have.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Right, because they're at a similar phase of
life and age where they're goingto have an understanding of
what you're going through in away that somebody who might be
25 years younger than youprobably isn't.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Right Different experiences.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Well, there's also a bunch of research in longevity
about how vitally important itis to have good social
connections and social ties, andthere's a pretty good amount of
data showing that people livelonger healthier if they
maintain good social connectionsand ties.
And there's a pretty goodamount of data showing that
people live longer healthier ifthey maintain good social
connections and ties.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
That actually reminds me of a documentary that
Netflix came out with a coupleof years ago, and it was all
about living longer, fuller,happier lives in certain areas
of the world.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Was this the one with Dan Buettner?
Something about living to 100in the blue zones?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, yeah, the guy with the hair.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yes, the guy with the hair.
What no, the blue zone guy.
He wrote like a book about ityes.
So do you mind explaining, likebecause this was all about the
blue zones, do you mind, likefilling anyone who doesn't know
what I'm talking about?
And it's like blue zones whatthe blue zones are totally so.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Blue zones are geographic regions where people
are known to live exceptionallylong lives, like over 100 years
old.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Which is where the term centenarians and super
centenarians, or people thatlive to 100, people that live
over 100, they have like reallyhigh concentrations of those
right.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Mm-hmm these areas.
They have lower rates ofchronic disease.
Their lifestyle includes morephysical activity as they age,
lower stress.
I remember them mentioningbetter social connections and
having a community.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Basically like every one of them right and they're
all over the world.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It's like Sardinia, greece, okinawa, japan,
somewhere, melinda California orsomething Somewhere in
California and then I think itwas like Costa Rica.
I used to know these by heart.
I'm a little rusty.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But their big thing that I mean.
They all had a lot of things incommon.
So I definitely say go watchthis documentary.
It's very, very good and veryinsightful.
However, all of them have thisidea that community and
surrounding yourself with peoplewho care for you and you care
for them, is a huge must to livean abundant, fall long life.
Some of the examples that Iremember from the documentary
(10:28):
about having a community theywould all get together and share
things from each other's gardenor help each other in their
garden, and these are people whoare 90, 100 years old, digging
in the dirt on their hands andknees in each other's gardens,
socializing all day and reapingthe benefits of their friendship
by passing all of their harvestalong to other people around
(10:48):
them, Like that's beautiful.
They also had an example, whichI thought was incredible, where
they would pool a certainamount of their finances all
together and that lump sum wouldgo to anyone's medical bills
when it came to something thatwould happen while aging whether
someone needed a surgery.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh yeah, that's right .
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, isn't that cool .
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I also remember one in Italy where they would all
get together and cook togetherto like make a bunch of food for
a number of the people in thecommunity.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But anyways, go watch this documentary, because I
mean, I'm speaking for myself,but I think David was too.
I cried more than I should have.
It was a beautiful documentary.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It was really, really , really good.
I liked it for a lot of reasons.
Some of the research inpositive psychology demonstrates
that a sense of belonging andconnection to a community
contributes significantly to ouroverall happiness and life
satisfaction.
When we feel seen, understoodand supported, we experience
(11:57):
lower levels of stress, anxietyand depression.
Our support systems act as abuffer against life's inevitable
stressors.
Knowing that you have people inyour corner who believe in you,
who offer a listening ear orwho can provide practical help
can make all the difference whenfacing adversity.
(12:18):
When it comes to having asupport system, a support system
is not just the one person thatyou can call in the middle of
the night.
Support systems are bigger andmade up of a broader scope of
different people, and not alwayseven people.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I mean so my cat Luffy can be part of my support
system.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Absolutely, in fact, let's start here.
Generally, a support systemstarts with people's family.
Now look, everyone's individualsituations when it comes to
family and friends arecompletely different, and I am
generalizing here.
Everyone's situation isdifferent and some of what I'm
saying may not apply to you isdifferent, and some of what I'm
(13:04):
saying may not apply to you, butfor a lot of people, their
blood relatives, their closeimmediate family, is a huge part
of their support system,whether it be siblings, parents,
children and especially spouse.
(13:25):
These are the people that areabsolutely there for you at the
drop of a hat and often therefor you, all the time and in
your life, regularly.
Then we have the next layer out, which is going to be like
non-immediate family Aunts,uncles, cousins, grandchildren
and very close friends, likeyour best friends.
(13:48):
Now, for some people, theirfamily is a chosen family and
some of their friends are theirfamily.
Other people have takensomebody on as a parental figure
and that person is sort of likea parent.
Any of these people can begreat examples of a good support
system the people that haveyour back no matter what.
(14:11):
The people that truly care.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And then come our pets right.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yes, actually, I'm just going to let you have this
one.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, well, I feel like then comes like neighbors
and people around you, butespecially your animals.
So Luffy is my personalsecurity blanket.
He's actually sitting like twofeet away from me on his
favorite blanket just staring atme, because he's a good little
(14:43):
boy, he is literally doing thatright now.
He is.
But anyways, he is a greatsupport system because, honestly
, sometimes I just need to talkand not necessarily hear anyone
say anything back.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
that's where he comes in and you know he has no
judgment no, he just loves melike.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I wish you guys could see him the way he's looking at
me.
Oh my goodness he's.
He makes my heart melt we alsohave another cat she's great too
.
She's almost a little bit moreyour support system.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Ginny is this beautiful little cat that is
ultra snuggly, mostly just withme, but sometimes with Hannah.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Only when I'm asleep.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Or just close to asleep.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
She just uses me as a warm body.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Anyways, everyone's going to have different
situations with their animals,but a dog can be a huge benefit
and a cat can be a huge benefit,or really any other pet.
We're not looking todiscriminate in pets here.
Pets can be a great part ofyour support system.
Often they give youunconditional love and you don't
(16:00):
have to have as complex of arelationship with them and they
can support you in verysimplistic and pure ways.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Like relieving your anxiety, comforting you.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Or just being excited that you came home.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yeah, however, with that being said, please don't
just call your dog or cat whenyou're having a medical
emergency With that one.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
You actually need a live person to help you with and
you can have a broader supportsystem Some really great
neighbors.
Like you said, your doctor,Maybe a therapist can be a great
part of your support system.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Or even a work colleague or boss.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Absolutely.
Your support system getsbroader and more advanced as it
spreads out.
It's not just those people thatare your absolute ride or dies.
You build this overall supportsystem that can help you in the
tough times and celebrate you inthe good times.
Now, hannah and I are luckyenough to have, honestly, a
(17:05):
really great support system.
When we were going through thatbook, her and I had a
conversation about how impressedwe were with how large that
number of people was for us andI'm not saying that to brag, I'm
saying that out of honestly,honestly, just pure gratitude
for those people and you knowwho you are if you're listening
(17:28):
that are such a big part of ourlife and are so important to us
that we hope to be a part ofthat for you too.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, we are so incredibly lucky to have the
friends and family that we dohave.
A short, and sweet quote that Ienjoy from Helen Keller is
alone we can do so little, buttogether we can do so much.
I like the simplicity of that.
(18:02):
It's very quick to remember inthe moment, especially when
generally I tend to be a stuffer, like I want to stuff all of my
emotions and problems down andnot really let my community or
David in.
And I feel like that's a reallygood short, sweet quote to
(18:22):
remind myself I can do more if Iallow someone in than just by
myself.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
No, that's.
It's a really good quote fromsomebody that was in a position
that obviously needed the helpand helped others.
But you might be thinking thatall sounds great, but how do I
actually build and nurture theselike vital support systems?
And what if I don't havesomeone like that?
(18:51):
What if I don't have thatsupport system?
We're not having this podcastto shame you for not having it.
That would be an incrediblycounterproductive goal.
What I will say is anyone canlearn and grow and build these
(19:14):
relationships if they put thetime and effort in.
It won't necessarily be easy.
It won't necessarily come onthe first try.
It may require you to do alittle bit of work on yourself
and to do some self-reflectionand acceptance.
Well, let me start here.
If you want to build theseconnections one, don't be a
dickhead.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Nice wording.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It's actually a quote from a guest that was on Tim
Ferriss' podcast recently andthat is actually how he
evaluates whether he should bedoing something or not.
He asks if he's being adickhead and it made me laugh,
but he said it was asurprisingly helpful way of
(19:58):
evaluating whether he should dosomething or not.
Would he come off that way?
In all seriousness, be kind toother people, genuinely care
about other people.
If you want other people tocare about you, you're going to
need to genuinely care aboutthem.
You don't get to have thosepeople be a part of your support
(20:20):
system and not be a part oftheirs.
That type of a lopsidedrelationship is not going to
breed that for you.
So, second, you're probablygoing to need to have try to be
(20:40):
friends with these people.
Try to have good socialinteractions.
Not just do whatever fits bestfor you, but actually try and
make people feel validated, feelheard, be an active listener,
talk about things that interestthem.
Be a good friend, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Be the friend that you wish you had.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes.
The next thing I would say isyou're going to need to be
vulnerable with people, oof.
Yeah Well, you have to open up.
You have to share some of yourweaknesses.
All of my closest friends knowmy weaknesses, both because they
can see them and because I'mnot afraid to share them.
I am not a fast writer.
(21:25):
I have sloppy handwriting.
I am slow at a lot of taskscompared to the average person.
I have my fair share ofdownsides.
I get distracted easily with myADHD, though oddly not when I'm
listening to people.
I find listening to peoplegenuinely and intently very
(21:45):
fascinating, so that's kind ofone of the areas I've lucked out
with my ADHD.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You are very good at listening.
I will give you that Dishesmaybe not so much.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Organization.
Look, the list goes on and on.
I'm not perfect, and neitherare you.
And no, I'm actually nottalking to my wife, I'm talking
to you, the listener.
Hey, um, and nobody wants to befriends with someone that is
perfect because, frankly, itdoesn't exist.
(22:17):
It's totally unrelatable, whichis why being vulnerable, being
open, is actually what connectsyou to other people.
But you have to use some socialawareness with this.
Don't just be wildly open andovershare with any random person
that you meet in an elevator.
You know there's some shades ofgray here.
(22:38):
You have to find the balance.
So use vulnerability in asocially intelligent way when
you have built enough of aconnection, or use it in smaller
increments when you're firstgetting to know people.
Be patient, take time and buildthese relationships slowly with
(23:02):
people that you genuinely havean interest with.
Don can really do something totake care of someone.
If you're feeling lonely, gotake care of someone who's
(23:29):
feeling alone.
If you're feeling unloved, gotake care of someone who's
feeling unloved Because, believeit or not, they're going to
feel those feelings back for you, not necessarily in a romantic
way.
This is not what I'm talkingabout.
What I'm saying is to give anexample if you're feeling lonely
(23:56):
.
Go spend time with someonewho's feeling lonely in a
nursing home.
The amount of joy that youwould give that person and how
happy they will be to see youand how happy they will be to
have you come each time willmake you not feel lonely.
(24:16):
You will both be contributingand giving love to someone else
and receiving it yourself.
Start by giving what you'd liketo receive.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
That's really good.
I feel like sometimes we thinkof these big grand gestures to
make people care for us more,like we need to get a big gift
for them or we need to show themjust how much they mean to us
in these big, elaborate ways.
But we could just do.
Maybe we could just spend alittle time with each other,
(24:51):
whether it be listening, whetherit be playing a game of chess
or doing something that maybeyou're not as interested in, but
you know that the individualthat you're doing it with is
incredibly interested in thiscertain topic.
Do something that they want todo.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, taking an interest in other people's
interests is a great way tobuild connection with people
that you want to have morerelationship with, like.
At the end of the day, itreally starts with
intentionality.
You can start reaching out topeople that you admire and
(25:31):
connect with them.
Invest time in some of yourexisting relationships.
You can build those into therelationships that you want, if
these are the right people.
Consider joining groups ororganizations that align with
your interests.
You may make some really great,genuine friends there.
And don't be afraid to bevulnerable, like I said, and to
(25:52):
share your experiences.
It's often through that openhonesty and vulnerability that
deeper connections are forged.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
And piggybacking off of that.
I do want to share that noteverybody who's in your support
system currently will be in yoursupport system 10 years from
now, or there might be peoplethat you don't even know yet who
will play a huge part in yourfuture social circle, and not
only that.
There's going to be ebbs andflows in relationships, because
(26:26):
that's just how things go.
I've had people who are my mainsupport system who no longer
aren't really my main supportsystem anymore, and other people
who've been a little bit moreof a peripheral part of my
support system have moved deeperinto that inner circle and
become some of my main supportsystem.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Right, and not everyone needs to be a part of
that inner core support system.
Not everyone needs to be yourbest friend.
There is something to kind ofprotecting your energy to a
degree and finding the peoplethat actually fit that inner
support system.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Right, don't shove a square knob through a circle.
Well, you guys know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Square peg into a round hole.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yes, thank you, but anyways, that's actually true.
So if it's a relationship orfriendship, that's just not
particularly meshing, it's okayto let that friendship be more
of a peripheral friend.
They don't have to be, likeDavid said, in your inner circle
.
Keep your inner circle tightand be choosy about your people,
(27:44):
cause those are the people whoare going to shape you and
support you and help you growand learn and to be there with
you through all the happiesttimes of your life.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And I don't know if I would use the term be choosy,
but I agree with you insentiment.
I would just say be intentionalthat's better.
Yes, um, you don't have to belike snobby or picky with it.
Not that I think you weresaying that.
I just think it could beinterpreted that way intentional
is a much better word for thatbecause, at the end of the day,
(28:20):
there's a saying that goes youare the average of the 10 people
that you spend the most timewith, so you might want to think
about what that average makes,and if there are people that you
wouldn't want to be a part ofthat average, then maybe they
shouldn't be in those top fiveor 10 people.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Right, no, that makes sense.
I definitely think of whenyou're younger.
I think a lot of people havethis universal experience.
But when you're younger andyou're going to bars frequently,
you tend to hang out with, likebar goer, party people who are
there for a good time drinking,like it's a good time when
you're 21.
However, when you're 30 and notreally all about that going out
(29:07):
all the time lifestyle, youtend to those friendships tend
to peter out, which I think istotally natural.
You just have different valuesand alignments.
You're heading in differentdirections.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
But sometimes they don't, because they may be
changing in that same direction,which is why we have to take it
as a case-by-case basis.
But I totally get what you mean.
When people are in verydifferent phases of life, that
disconnect often just naturallyhappens.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Right, exactly, and it's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
So I think we've done a pretty good job of really
getting across how important asupport system is and some ways
to build one for yourself.
So let's talk about embracingour community or communities
that we're a part of.
Joining or being a part of acommunity isn't just about
receiving support.
(30:05):
It's also about giving back.
When we actively participate inour communities, whether it's
through volunteering, joininglocal groups or simply being a
supportive neighbor we cultivatea sense of purpose and
belonging.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yes, that local Dungeons and Dragons group does
count.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Or the gardening group in the.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Blue Zone Exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Contributing to something larger than yourself
can be incredibly rewarding, andit strengthens the fabric of
the entire community.
One thing that we noticed whenwe were on our honeymoon in
Japan was that there was apervasive sense of just overall
large-scale community.
(30:50):
Everyone cared about everyoneelse there.
Everyone did things with otherpeople in mind.
There was just an overarchingfeeling of community and care,
and I think we could embracemore of that here in the United
States.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Even when it came to strangers.
I remember getting on the trainand it was peak busy time so it
was jam packed and everyone hasswitched their backpack from
their back to their front sothat way they can be very
conscious and hold on to theirbag so they're not knocking into
anybody else.
And that's just a common normto try to not take up as much
(31:31):
space because you don't want toinconvenience anyone else.
Yes, exactly, and there are manyother examples.
That was just a small littleexample of what we saw when we
were in Japan.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Now I'm not suggesting that we go in and
change the culture of the UnitedStates.
What I am saying is that we cantake some of those lessons and
ways of thinking about others totake steps that better our
communities and start to makesome of those choices in our
larger and smaller communities.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I feel like we could just all use a little extra care
.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
So how would we go about joining a community?
Well, for one.
We all constantly live incommunities Cities, states,
nations, the world, humanity,living beings, earth.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Well, the internet's a great place to start, whether
it be through Facebook groups,reddit groups, finding out
what's local in your area.
Honestly, even coffee shops byus have a bulletin board where
they post about various clubs,meetings, community events and
volunteer opportunities.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
While I do think that the internet can be a good
place to start if you want toactually feel the benefits of
community, oftentimes you'regoing to find that you're going
to find that you'll have astronger sense of community in
in-person forms of community bychoosing and becoming parts of
(33:12):
some smaller subset communitiesthat have similar interests.
Not that you can't also findtight-knit communities online.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Right, like taking in-person art lessons or pottery
, or having a somewhat regularboard game night or, honestly,
maybe even joining a church.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Or a softball team.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You actually had some really good experiences with
community and church growing up,didn't you?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I did so.
Growing up in a church, wealways had volunteer
opportunities, so we spent a lotof time going to nursing homes,
cleaning up trash in parks,volunteering at local homeless
shelters, serving meals.
It was something that was veryingrained in my childhood about
(34:03):
taking care of other people, andthen it carried into my adult
life as well, even when I didstep away from attending regular
church services.
I would volunteer regularly atsoup kitchens or even smaller
things while I'm out on a hikeand I'd bring a trash bag with
me.
Like it's super small and easyto be able to just clean up
(34:25):
trash and you might even getsome other people who are
willing to help you with thatand go for a hike and enjoy
nature as well.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So the moral of the story is find some broader or
smaller communities that you cangive back to, so that beyond
just your tight-knit supportsystem, you have a broader sense
of being connected to a largercommunity, a community that can
help, support you, but also acommunity that you can give back
(34:55):
to and contribute to.
Remember contribution is one ofour six human needs and
community is a great way to meetit.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
So let's go create our community.
That sounds pretty good.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
So, as you go about your week, I encourage you to
reflect on your own supportsystems.
Are you actively nurturingthose connections?
Are you open to embracing thecommunities around you?
Remember you don't have tonavigate life's challenges alone
.
By investing in ourrelationships and embracing the
power of community, we build astronger foundation for personal
(35:31):
growth, resilience and a morefulfilling life.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Bye guys, thanks for listening to us and I'm excited
to potentially hear what kind ofcommunities you guys are
creating.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
And remember you are enough and you deserve to fill
up your inner cup with happiness, confidence and self-compassion
.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
(36:12):
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more Sage advice.
Out on more sage advice.
(36:33):
One last thing the legallanguage this podcast is for
educational and informationalpurposes only.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist.
Thank you.
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