December 16, 2025 • 19 mins
Most people think grit looks like endless hustle and 5 a.m. workouts. We take you past the highlight reel and into the quiet, internal moment when you want to quit—and show how to turn that friction into forward motion. Drawing on Angela Duckworth’s research and years of coaching experience, we break down why grit beats talent when things get tough, and how to build it like a muscle with practical, science-backed tools.
We start by separating motivation from resolve. Motivation is loud and fleeting; resolve is calm, heavy, and final. You’ll learn how to trigger resolve on demand by changing your state—standing tall, breathing deep, using cold water or brisk movement—so your physiology supports your psychology. From there, we explore the comfort zone paradox: seek constant ease and your world shrinks; embrace manageable discomfort and your capacity grows. That shift makes hard tasks feel more routine, letting you save willpower for bigger goals.
Next, we stack identity on top of why. A strong why pulls you forward, but identity keeps you honest: I am someone who keeps promises to myself. We show you how to use the “one more” contract—one more rep, call, paragraph—to make grit a series of short, repeatable pushes. And we explain why praising effort over results builds intrinsic motivation, prevents burnout, and trains your brain to like the strain that leads to growth.
By the end, you’ll have a simple playbook: prime your state, summon resolve, remember your why, lean on identity, do one more, and celebrate the effort. Close the back door, feel the click in your gut, and take the next step. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—what’s one place you’ll stop negotiating with yourself this week?
We would love to hear your feedback! Click here to tell us what you think.
https://sagesolutions.buzzsprout.com
If you are interested in one-on-one coaching, email us at:
sagecoachingsolutions@gmail.com
**Legal Disclaimer**
The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development,
and becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage, and I'm aself-worth and confidence coach
with Sage Coaching Solutions.
I want to start today by askingyou to go to a specific place in
(00:26):
your mind.
Picture this moment.
It's late Thursday night, andyou're staring at a mess in the
living room, and you just feelheavy.
It's not just tired, it's thisspecific friction-field
sensation that says, I don'tthink I have any gas left in the
(00:49):
tank.
We talk a lot in personaldevelopment about pushing
through and taking action.
We see the Instagram reels ofpeople waking up at 5 a.m.
drinking raw eggs and sprintingup hills.
And we tend to label that and weput all of that and we think,
(01:10):
man, they have discipline.
They have grit.
And they probably do.
I'm not saying they don't.
But by stereotyping grit thisway, we misrepresent the entire
concept.
So in this episode, I want toslow down and take a second to
talk about this.
(01:31):
Just you and me.
About what actually is happeningin that moment of friction.
Because I think most of usmisunderstand grit.
In a very similar way to howmany people misunderstand
courage.
Many people believe that courageis being fearless.
(01:51):
But courage is really aboutfacing or overcoming your fears,
feeling the fear and doing itanyway.
Grit is not about easily takingaction.
People that can just naturallydo things and it's not hard for
them, that doesn't take grit.
We think of gritty people and wethink that it's all about being
(02:11):
harder, tougher, and morecalloused.
But what I've found in my ownpersonal experience, by looking
through the research and in mycoaching, grit is usually not a
shout, it's not a scream.
Most grit is a quiet thing.
It's an internal struggle thatwe push through.
(02:33):
Similar to courage, it's apersonal battle.
But I think we've done adisservice to that word.
We treat grit like it's acharacter trait that you're born
with, like blue eyes or beingtall.
We think you either have it oryou don't.
But that's bullshit.
Life is like a muscle, and justabout any skill or trait can be
(02:58):
built and honed over time.
I believe that human beings havethe ability to get better,
sharper, and more capable.
I believe grit isn't a magicaltrait.
It's a skill.
More specifically, it's a musclethat we build just like any
(03:19):
other skill.
But grit is really a compoundmuscle.
It's a whole series of skillsthat we build at the same time
into the into this compoundmuscle of grit.
But if you want to build grit,you're gonna have to lean into a
specific feeling.
And if you can learn torecognize that feeling, to
(03:41):
harness and grow that feeling,to just let yourself feel it in
your body, pour fuel on it,embrace it.
You can change the trajectory ofyour entire life.
Today, yes, today we are talkingabout grit.
(04:03):
But you're gonna have to lean into resolve.
You're going to have to lean into the feeling of resolve.
But before we get into it, ourgoal with this podcast is to
share free, helpful tools withyou and anyone you know who is
looking to improve their life.
(04:25):
So take action, subscribe, andshare this podcast with them.
So let's buckle down and groundthis in something real.
Because like many other words inpersonal development, grit has
become a little bit of abuzzword.
Right?
I mean, you literally see it oncoffee mugs.
(04:47):
But, scientifically speaking, itis a very specific variable.
And if we want to get into thescience, we really can't talk
about it without talking aboutthe pioneer of grit research,
Dr.
Angela Duckworth.
If you haven't read her work,I'll give you a Cliff Notes
(05:07):
version.
Back in the mid-2000s, Duckworthwent to the U.S.
Military Academy at West Point.
If you know anything about WestPoint, you know you've probably
heard of the Beast Barracks.
It's seven weeks of pureunadulterated intensity designed
to break people.
(05:29):
These are the best of the best,oftentimes varsity athletes and
valedictorians.
They have the IQ, they have thephysical fitness, heck, they
even have the training, butevery year a large chunk of them
drop out before the summer isover.
Duckworth wanted to know whostays?
(05:49):
Is it the smartest ones?
No.
Is it the ones with the highestSAT scores?
No.
Is it the ones who can do themost push-ups?
Surprisingly, no, not really.
She found that the people whomade it through were the ones
with the most grit.
And her findings didn't endthere.
(06:09):
She found that the singlebiggest predictor of success in
life wasn't talent.
It was this thing that we callgrit.
The definition that's used ispassion and perseverance for
long-term goals.
Here's the part that reallyfascinated me when I was reading
(06:32):
her book, titled Grit.
The study showed that grit isunrelated or even inversely
related to talent.
Meaning sometimes, if thingscome easily to you, you are
actually at a disadvantage whenthe friction hits.
Because you haven't built themuscle of grit.
(06:56):
You never learned how togenerate that second wind, how
to push through, how to harnessyour resolve.
Now, this is all great.
The science is reallyinteresting, but I want to
pivot.
Duckworth gave us a definitionand the science.
But that alone will not give youthe feeling that drives your
(07:20):
grit.
So let's get into how youcultivate grit and build that
muscle.
Now, in this podcast, I'm goingto go into resolve a little less
because I recently just did apodcast about resolve.
So if you're interested in howto build resolve, I highly
suggest going back and listeningto our recent episode that
(07:41):
covers it.
So let's get into grit and talkabout how it feels.
I want you to think about a timein your life when you drew a
line in the sand.
Maybe it was a bad relationshipthat you finally ended.
Maybe it was a business youdecided you would not let fail.
Do you remember the feelingright before you made that
(08:03):
decision?
It wasn't excitement, it wasn'tmotivation.
Motivation is high energy.
It's inspiration.
It's kind of bubbly, unreliable,and cheap.
This feeling was different,wasn't it?
It was heavy.
It was cold, but it was calm.
(08:26):
That feeling is resolve.
I think I should make anotherdistinction here between
motivation and resolve.
Motivation is about feelinginspired and wanting to do
something.
Resolve is about making adecision, a commitment.
(08:47):
The decision was made long ago.
It's already done.
It is the feeling of sticking toyour guns.
An emotional manifestation ofintegrity, of why.
When you are just motivated,you're still negotiating with
yourself.
You're asking, do I feel likedoing this?
(09:10):
When you summon up resolve,there is no negotiation.
The decision was made.
You are burning your boats andlocking the exit.
You can feel it in your gut.
There's a somatic response,almost a release.
It feels like both attention anda relaxation, a drive to do and
(09:37):
an acceptance of.
Stop looking for motivation.
Don't get me wrong, embrace itwhen it's there.
Instead, look for that feeling,that gut feeling, the click in
(10:00):
your stomach, the moment whereyou say, I am doing this, even
if it sucks.
There's another upward spiral Iwant to talk about here.
By doing things that make youuncomfortable, you actually
expand your comfort zone,meaning that you are comfortable
in more situations.
(10:20):
If you want to become theparadox of comfort, is if you
constantly try and becomfortable, you will shrink
your comfort zone and becomecomfortable less often.
But if you embrace discomfort,I'm not talking about pain or
suffering, just discomfort, youwill expand your comfort zone
(10:43):
and be comfortable in many moresituations.
Paradoxically becoming morecomfortable and doing things
that require grit, that requirecourage, summoning up that
resolve, and sometimes when youneed the extra boost, willpower
(11:05):
will help you accomplish that.
But as your comfort zoneexpands, it will take less grit
to do the same things, whichmeans you can use the same
amount of grit to do even more.
So let's get into thenitty-gritty and build this
(11:26):
gritty muscle.
Sorry.
Because we can't wait for alife-altering crisis to put us
in a position to feel resolve.
We need it for daily life.
We need it for the gym.
We need it for ourrelationships.
We need it for work.
Based on what we know aboutpsychology and physiology, here
(11:51):
are several ways to build grit.
We know from the teachings ofTony Robbins, as well as people
like Andrew Huberman, who havegone through the neuroscience,
that it's very, very hard tothink your way out of a bad
feeling.
It's much easier to move yourway out.
(12:12):
I talk a lot about this in mycoaching.
There is an inherent linkbetween your brain and your
body.
Your body language and yourphysiology have a direct impact
on your psychology and yourneuroscience, the way your brain
reacts to things.
And both levers affect eachother.
(12:34):
It is a two-way cycle.
If you want to feel moreconfident, adopting confident
body language is a great startbecause it reduces the friction
and starts to change youremotional state.
We can use the same thoughtprocess for grit.
(12:57):
If motion creates emotion,taking action or making physical
changes, and emotions drive yourmotion, your physiology, and
your actions, we know thatphysiology is one of the
quickest ways to change youremotional state.
We had a whole episode on thiscalled State Change.
(13:20):
When you feel like giving up,take a look at your body.
Are you sitting slumped over?
Are you laying down?
Are your shoulders hunched?
Are you looking down?
Is your breathing shallow?
All of these things aresignaling, I'm tired, I don't
wanna, I wanna give up, I'mdefeated.
There's a reason Tony talks alot about state, whether it be
(13:43):
priming your state or changingyour state.
Before you try and mentally pushthrough, change your state,
stand up, take some deepbreaths, take up space, use some
use temperature like cold water,move.
You need to prime your biologyto handle the friction.
(14:05):
Find the physiology thatnaturally brings out your
feeling of resolve.
After you've used your body toshake up your emotional state,
then prime yourself withresolve.
And when you think aboutresolve, remember resolve is
different from making adecision.
(14:25):
The decision was already made.
Because you can decide to go ona diet while you're eating a
donut.
Decisions can be powerful, butthey are just thoughts.
Resolve is a feeling.
Resolve is somatic.
It's physical.
You feel it in your body.
Have you ever seen a parentwhose child is in danger?
(14:48):
They don't think about moving tosave their kid.
They move.
They snap into action.
There's almost a terrifyinglycalm clarity that hits them in
that moment.
It is a yin and a yang, a bodilyfeeling of emotional tension and
(15:09):
stoic calm.
It's burning your boats,blocking your exit.
It's remembering why.
Which brings us to number two.
Start with why.
You needed a why to make adecision or a commitment to
something that will bring youresolve in the first place.
(15:30):
You won't have resolve if youdon't have a strong why.
Think about why you want this.
Not a weak why.
Keep asking why till you get astrong why.
And then remember that whenyou're struggling to summon
resolve.
When you're feeling the urge toquit, you can make a contract
(15:52):
with yourself.
Just call it the one morecontract.
Just do one more unit of effort.
One more than is necessary.
One more so that you areregularly in small ways pushing
yourself.
This is a great way to build themuscle of grit.
You don't have to finish thewhole project.
(16:12):
Just do one more.
One more than is comfortable.
One more paragraph.
One more rep.
One more phone call.
Grit isn't a marathon.
It's a series of sprints.
You're just trying to get to thenext lamppost.
We already talked about why, butwhat about who?
Nietzsche famously said, he whohas a why to live can bear
(16:37):
almost any how.
Remembering the why is powerful.
But Nietzsche also talks abouthe who has.
You are the one.
Remember who you are.
When the how gets painful, yourbrain will tell you to stop.
One of the best ways to overridethat survival signal is to
(16:59):
attach the pain to a higherpurpose.
Don't do it for success.
Do it for the person you arebecoming.
Do it because you said youwould.
That identity, I am a person whokeeps my promises, is an
incredibly powerful fuel.
I am someone who does what theysay they're going to do.
(17:22):
I am a man of integrity.
And then, of course, don'tforget the last way, which is to
reward the effort, not theresult.
Now, this is something thatAndrew Huberman talks a lot
about.
And we even really did a fullepisode on this called intrinsic
(17:42):
motivation.
If you only celebrate when youwin, you will burn out during
the process.
You have to learn to get thedopamine hit from the friction
itself, from the effort to whichbuilds this pathway of intrinsic
motivation.
When things get hard, tellyourself, this feeling right
(18:04):
here, the strain, this is mygrit growing.
This I like overcomingchallenges.
I like pushing myself.
I can do this.
Good job.
I'm proud of you.
This is the good part.
(18:25):
You can learn to lean into thefriction, to overcome obstacles,
and to become unstoppable.
As we wrap up, I want to leaveyou with a challenge.
The world is a noisy place.
It's easy to get cynical.
It's easy to just look forshortcuts.
And if we're being honest,occasionally there are great
(18:48):
tips, tricks, and tools, likethe five-second rule.
But most of the time, in fact,almost always, the only way
through is through.
It's almost always a paththrough the middle, and it's
rarely easy.
This week, identify one placewhere you've been negotiating
(19:08):
with yourself, one place whereyou've left that back door open.
Close it.
Find that feeling of resolve.
Feel that clinch, the click inyour stomach, and then take one
more step.
Push yourself.
Build that muscle.
Remind yourself that you aregetting grittier every time you
(19:30):
push yourself.
Remind yourself why you're doingit and who you are becoming.
Praise the effort, not theresult.
Now, if you're looking forsomeone to help you navigate
that friction, you can feel freeto reach out to me at Sage
Coaching Solutions.
Just email us at SageCoachingSolutions at gmail.com.
(19:53):
And remember, you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup.
With happiness, true confidence,and resilience.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions podcast.
Your time is valuable, and I'mso glad you choose to learn and
(20:18):
grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more Sage advice.
One last thing.
The Legal Language.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only.
(20:41):
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist, or otherqualified professional.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development,
and becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage, and I'm aself-worth and confidence coach
with Sage Coaching Solutions.
I want to start today by askingyou to go to a specific place in
(00:26):
your mind.
Picture this moment.
It's late Thursday night, andyou're staring at a mess in the
living room, and you just feelheavy.
It's not just tired, it's thisspecific friction-field
sensation that says, I don'tthink I have any gas left in the
(00:49):
tank.
We talk a lot in personaldevelopment about pushing
through and taking action.
We see the Instagram reels ofpeople waking up at 5 a.m.
drinking raw eggs and sprintingup hills.
And we tend to label that and weput all of that and we think,
(01:10):
man, they have discipline.
They have grit.
And they probably do.
I'm not saying they don't.
But by stereotyping grit thisway, we misrepresent the entire
concept.
So in this episode, I want toslow down and take a second to
talk about this.
(01:31):
Just you and me.
About what actually is happeningin that moment of friction.
Because I think most of usmisunderstand grit.
In a very similar way to howmany people misunderstand
courage.
Many people believe that courageis being fearless.
(01:51):
But courage is really aboutfacing or overcoming your fears,
feeling the fear and doing itanyway.
Grit is not about easily takingaction.
People that can just naturallydo things and it's not hard for
them, that doesn't take grit.
We think of gritty people and wethink that it's all about being
(02:11):
harder, tougher, and morecalloused.
But what I've found in my ownpersonal experience, by looking
through the research and in mycoaching, grit is usually not a
shout, it's not a scream.
Most grit is a quiet thing.
It's an internal struggle thatwe push through.
(02:33):
Similar to courage, it's apersonal battle.
But I think we've done adisservice to that word.
We treat grit like it's acharacter trait that you're born
with, like blue eyes or beingtall.
We think you either have it oryou don't.
But that's bullshit.
Life is like a muscle, and justabout any skill or trait can be
(02:58):
built and honed over time.
I believe that human beings havethe ability to get better,
sharper, and more capable.
I believe grit isn't a magicaltrait.
It's a skill.
More specifically, it's a musclethat we build just like any
(03:19):
other skill.
But grit is really a compoundmuscle.
It's a whole series of skillsthat we build at the same time
into the into this compoundmuscle of grit.
But if you want to build grit,you're gonna have to lean into a
specific feeling.
And if you can learn torecognize that feeling, to
(03:41):
harness and grow that feeling,to just let yourself feel it in
your body, pour fuel on it,embrace it.
You can change the trajectory ofyour entire life.
Today, yes, today we are talkingabout grit.
(04:03):
But you're gonna have to lean into resolve.
You're going to have to lean into the feeling of resolve.
But before we get into it, ourgoal with this podcast is to
share free, helpful tools withyou and anyone you know who is
looking to improve their life.
(04:25):
So take action, subscribe, andshare this podcast with them.
So let's buckle down and groundthis in something real.
Because like many other words inpersonal development, grit has
become a little bit of abuzzword.
Right?
I mean, you literally see it oncoffee mugs.
(04:47):
But, scientifically speaking, itis a very specific variable.
And if we want to get into thescience, we really can't talk
about it without talking aboutthe pioneer of grit research,
Dr.
Angela Duckworth.
If you haven't read her work,I'll give you a Cliff Notes
(05:07):
version.
Back in the mid-2000s, Duckworthwent to the U.S.
Military Academy at West Point.
If you know anything about WestPoint, you know you've probably
heard of the Beast Barracks.
It's seven weeks of pureunadulterated intensity designed
to break people.
(05:29):
These are the best of the best,oftentimes varsity athletes and
valedictorians.
They have the IQ, they have thephysical fitness, heck, they
even have the training, butevery year a large chunk of them
drop out before the summer isover.
Duckworth wanted to know whostays?
(05:49):
Is it the smartest ones?
No.
Is it the ones with the highestSAT scores?
No.
Is it the ones who can do themost push-ups?
Surprisingly, no, not really.
She found that the people whomade it through were the ones
with the most grit.
And her findings didn't endthere.
(06:09):
She found that the singlebiggest predictor of success in
life wasn't talent.
It was this thing that we callgrit.
The definition that's used ispassion and perseverance for
long-term goals.
Here's the part that reallyfascinated me when I was reading
(06:32):
her book, titled Grit.
The study showed that grit isunrelated or even inversely
related to talent.
Meaning sometimes, if thingscome easily to you, you are
actually at a disadvantage whenthe friction hits.
Because you haven't built themuscle of grit.
(06:56):
You never learned how togenerate that second wind, how
to push through, how to harnessyour resolve.
Now, this is all great.
The science is reallyinteresting, but I want to
pivot.
Duckworth gave us a definitionand the science.
But that alone will not give youthe feeling that drives your
(07:20):
grit.
So let's get into how youcultivate grit and build that
muscle.
Now, in this podcast, I'm goingto go into resolve a little less
because I recently just did apodcast about resolve.
So if you're interested in howto build resolve, I highly
suggest going back and listeningto our recent episode that
(07:41):
covers it.
So let's get into grit and talkabout how it feels.
I want you to think about a timein your life when you drew a
line in the sand.
Maybe it was a bad relationshipthat you finally ended.
Maybe it was a business youdecided you would not let fail.
Do you remember the feelingright before you made that
(08:03):
decision?
It wasn't excitement, it wasn'tmotivation.
Motivation is high energy.
It's inspiration.
It's kind of bubbly, unreliable,and cheap.
This feeling was different,wasn't it?
It was heavy.
It was cold, but it was calm.
(08:26):
That feeling is resolve.
I think I should make anotherdistinction here between
motivation and resolve.
Motivation is about feelinginspired and wanting to do
something.
Resolve is about making adecision, a commitment.
(08:47):
The decision was made long ago.
It's already done.
It is the feeling of sticking toyour guns.
An emotional manifestation ofintegrity, of why.
When you are just motivated,you're still negotiating with
yourself.
You're asking, do I feel likedoing this?
(09:10):
When you summon up resolve,there is no negotiation.
The decision was made.
You are burning your boats andlocking the exit.
You can feel it in your gut.
There's a somatic response,almost a release.
It feels like both attention anda relaxation, a drive to do and
(09:37):
an acceptance of.
Stop looking for motivation.
Don't get me wrong, embrace itwhen it's there.
Instead, look for that feeling,that gut feeling, the click in
(10:00):
your stomach, the moment whereyou say, I am doing this, even
if it sucks.
There's another upward spiral Iwant to talk about here.
By doing things that make youuncomfortable, you actually
expand your comfort zone,meaning that you are comfortable
in more situations.
(10:20):
If you want to become theparadox of comfort, is if you
constantly try and becomfortable, you will shrink
your comfort zone and becomecomfortable less often.
But if you embrace discomfort,I'm not talking about pain or
suffering, just discomfort, youwill expand your comfort zone
(10:43):
and be comfortable in many moresituations.
Paradoxically becoming morecomfortable and doing things
that require grit, that requirecourage, summoning up that
resolve, and sometimes when youneed the extra boost, willpower
(11:05):
will help you accomplish that.
But as your comfort zoneexpands, it will take less grit
to do the same things, whichmeans you can use the same
amount of grit to do even more.
So let's get into thenitty-gritty and build this
(11:26):
gritty muscle.
Sorry.
Because we can't wait for alife-altering crisis to put us
in a position to feel resolve.
We need it for daily life.
We need it for the gym.
We need it for ourrelationships.
We need it for work.
Based on what we know aboutpsychology and physiology, here
(11:51):
are several ways to build grit.
We know from the teachings ofTony Robbins, as well as people
like Andrew Huberman, who havegone through the neuroscience,
that it's very, very hard tothink your way out of a bad
feeling.
It's much easier to move yourway out.
(12:12):
I talk a lot about this in mycoaching.
There is an inherent linkbetween your brain and your
body.
Your body language and yourphysiology have a direct impact
on your psychology and yourneuroscience, the way your brain
reacts to things.
And both levers affect eachother.
(12:34):
It is a two-way cycle.
If you want to feel moreconfident, adopting confident
body language is a great startbecause it reduces the friction
and starts to change youremotional state.
We can use the same thoughtprocess for grit.
(12:57):
If motion creates emotion,taking action or making physical
changes, and emotions drive yourmotion, your physiology, and
your actions, we know thatphysiology is one of the
quickest ways to change youremotional state.
We had a whole episode on thiscalled State Change.
(13:20):
When you feel like giving up,take a look at your body.
Are you sitting slumped over?
Are you laying down?
Are your shoulders hunched?
Are you looking down?
Is your breathing shallow?
All of these things aresignaling, I'm tired, I don't
wanna, I wanna give up, I'mdefeated.
There's a reason Tony talks alot about state, whether it be
(13:43):
priming your state or changingyour state.
Before you try and mentally pushthrough, change your state,
stand up, take some deepbreaths, take up space, use some
use temperature like cold water,move.
You need to prime your biologyto handle the friction.
(14:05):
Find the physiology thatnaturally brings out your
feeling of resolve.
After you've used your body toshake up your emotional state,
then prime yourself withresolve.
And when you think aboutresolve, remember resolve is
different from making adecision.
(14:25):
The decision was already made.
Because you can decide to go ona diet while you're eating a
donut.
Decisions can be powerful, butthey are just thoughts.
Resolve is a feeling.
Resolve is somatic.
It's physical.
You feel it in your body.
Have you ever seen a parentwhose child is in danger?
(14:48):
They don't think about moving tosave their kid.
They move.
They snap into action.
There's almost a terrifyinglycalm clarity that hits them in
that moment.
It is a yin and a yang, a bodilyfeeling of emotional tension and
(15:09):
stoic calm.
It's burning your boats,blocking your exit.
It's remembering why.
Which brings us to number two.
Start with why.
You needed a why to make adecision or a commitment to
something that will bring youresolve in the first place.
(15:30):
You won't have resolve if youdon't have a strong why.
Think about why you want this.
Not a weak why.
Keep asking why till you get astrong why.
And then remember that whenyou're struggling to summon
resolve.
When you're feeling the urge toquit, you can make a contract
(15:52):
with yourself.
Just call it the one morecontract.
Just do one more unit of effort.
One more than is necessary.
One more so that you areregularly in small ways pushing
yourself.
This is a great way to build themuscle of grit.
You don't have to finish thewhole project.
(16:12):
Just do one more.
One more than is comfortable.
One more paragraph.
One more rep.
One more phone call.
Grit isn't a marathon.
It's a series of sprints.
You're just trying to get to thenext lamppost.
We already talked about why, butwhat about who?
Nietzsche famously said, he whohas a why to live can bear
(16:37):
almost any how.
Remembering the why is powerful.
But Nietzsche also talks abouthe who has.
You are the one.
Remember who you are.
When the how gets painful, yourbrain will tell you to stop.
One of the best ways to overridethat survival signal is to
(16:59):
attach the pain to a higherpurpose.
Don't do it for success.
Do it for the person you arebecoming.
Do it because you said youwould.
That identity, I am a person whokeeps my promises, is an
incredibly powerful fuel.
I am someone who does what theysay they're going to do.
(17:22):
I am a man of integrity.
And then, of course, don'tforget the last way, which is to
reward the effort, not theresult.
Now, this is something thatAndrew Huberman talks a lot
about.
And we even really did a fullepisode on this called intrinsic
(17:42):
motivation.
If you only celebrate when youwin, you will burn out during
the process.
You have to learn to get thedopamine hit from the friction
itself, from the effort to whichbuilds this pathway of intrinsic
motivation.
When things get hard, tellyourself, this feeling right
(18:04):
here, the strain, this is mygrit growing.
This I like overcomingchallenges.
I like pushing myself.
I can do this.
Good job.
I'm proud of you.
This is the good part.
(18:25):
You can learn to lean into thefriction, to overcome obstacles,
and to become unstoppable.
As we wrap up, I want to leaveyou with a challenge.
The world is a noisy place.
It's easy to get cynical.
It's easy to just look forshortcuts.
And if we're being honest,occasionally there are great
(18:48):
tips, tricks, and tools, likethe five-second rule.
But most of the time, in fact,almost always, the only way
through is through.
It's almost always a paththrough the middle, and it's
rarely easy.
This week, identify one placewhere you've been negotiating
(19:08):
with yourself, one place whereyou've left that back door open.
Close it.
Find that feeling of resolve.
Feel that clinch, the click inyour stomach, and then take one
more step.
Push yourself.
Build that muscle.
Remind yourself that you aregetting grittier every time you
(19:30):
push yourself.
Remind yourself why you're doingit and who you are becoming.
Praise the effort, not theresult.
Now, if you're looking forsomeone to help you navigate
that friction, you can feel freeto reach out to me at Sage
Coaching Solutions.
Just email us at SageCoachingSolutions at gmail.com.
(19:53):
And remember, you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup.
With happiness, true confidence,and resilience.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions podcast.
Your time is valuable, and I'mso glad you choose to learn and
(20:18):
grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more Sage advice.
One last thing.
The Legal Language.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only.
(20:41):
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist, or otherqualified professional.
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