January 28, 2025 • 30 mins
Can mastering your emotions truly transform your life? Join me on the Sage Solutions Podcast as we uncover the ancient wisdom of Stoicism and its profound impact on personal growth and resilience. Inspired by Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," I share my personal journey into Stoicism and how its timeless teachings have reshaped my approach to life's challenges. Discover the origins of this powerful philosophy, founded by Zeno of Citium, and learn from the insights of key figures like Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. Together, we'll explore how the core virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance offer a robust framework for enhancing self-worth and building emotional strength.
Today's episode brings Stoicism into the modern era, showcasing how contemporary thought leaders like Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferriss are using its principles to navigate everyday life. Far from being an antiquated doctrine, Stoicism empowers us to master rather than suppress our emotions, offering tools to transform obstacles into opportunities for growth. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and practical applications of Stoic teachings, demonstrating their ability to foster calmness and reason in the midst of crisis. With these insights, you'll be encouraged to embrace reality, respond thoughtfully to challenges, and cultivate the resilience needed to become the best version of yourself.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
In this episode, we're going totalk about a philosophy that's
(00:26):
as relevant today as it was2,000 years ago.
That's right.
We're going to explore stoicismand how we can use its
teachings to face life'sobstacles, stay resilient when
we fail and ultimately become abetter version of ourselves.
Now I know this might soundlike a heavy or even dry topic.
(00:50):
When many people hearphilosophy, they think of a
bunch of old white guys in togasstanding around talking about
semantics, and sometimes thatwas the case, but today we're
here to break it down, make itpractical and maybe even a
little fun.
So let's get into it.
I was introduced to Stoicismalmost 10 years ago.
(01:14):
One of the first personaldevelopment books I ever read
was the book the Obstacle is theWay by Ryan Holiday.
This book took the teachings ofthe philosophy of Stoicism and
broke them down in a way thatmade them easy to understand and
stressed the real-lifeapplicability of them.
(01:35):
It was really the firstphilosophy that I ever studied.
The definition of philosophy isthe study of the fundamental
nature of knowledge, reality andor existence, especially when
considered as an academicdiscipline.
Not every philosophy exploresall of these things.
(01:57):
Some philosophies focus on justone of them.
Some philosophies focus on justa specific area of life.
There can be overarchingphilosophies or people can have
personal philosophies focus onjust a specific area of life.
There can be overarchingphilosophies or people can have
personal philosophies thatcombine things from many other
philosophies.
Really, they're perspectives orways of looking at life, and
(02:18):
Stoicism is just one of thosephilosophies.
In many ways, I consider myselfa practicing Stoic.
I don't necessarily agree witheverything that Stoicism
presents.
I feel certain parts areslightly outdated and that at
times it doesn't have enoughnuance or shades of gray.
But let's be real.
(02:38):
I basically say that aboutpractically everything.
Anything taken to an extremecan be a bad thing.
Anything taken out ofproportion can be too much.
However, many of the guidelinesof Stoicism have stood the test
of time and in many ways, thisis the first philosophy that
really had major personaldevelopment aspects built into
(03:01):
it Before we get into it.
Our goal with this podcast is toshare free, helpful tools with
you and anyone you know who islooking to improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
Now I think it's important togo over a little bit of the
(03:23):
history of Stoicism and what itactually is, before I get too
deep into how we can apply itand how it's affected my life.
So let's give it somebackground.
First, a little history.
Stoicism was founded in Athensaround 300 BC by a philosopher
(03:45):
named Zeno of Sidium.
He started teaching in a placecalled the Stoa Poikile, or the
Painted Porch in Greek, which iswhere the name Stoicism comes
from.
The central idea we can'tcontrol what happens to us, but
we can control how we respond toit.
(04:05):
At its core, it sounds prettysimple, right?
Well, in my opinion, and in theopinion of many philosophers,
it's one of the most powerfulideas in the history of
philosophy.
Over the years, stoicismevolved through three main
phases the early, middle andlate schools.
Some of its most well-knownfigures are Marcus Aurelius,
(04:29):
seneca and Epictetus.
Now there were many otherStoics, including Zeno himself.
Modern Stoicism is founded onthe ideas of Marcus, seneca and
Epictetus on the ideas of Marcus, seneca and Epictetus, because
almost all of the literaturethat we have on Stoicism comes
(04:50):
from these three powerfulthought leaders.
So let's quickly touch on theseindividuals and their
contributions.
First we have Seneca, a Romanstatesman, playwright and
advisor to Emperor Nero.
Seneca's letters and essaysfocus on the importance of
self-control and how to dealwith adversity.
(05:11):
He once said difficultiesstrengthen the mind as labor
does the body.
Sound familiar, kind of remindsme of the newest addition to
the core fundamentals life islike a muscle, so build it.
Then there's Epictetus, whostarted life as a slave.
(05:31):
He was freed, became a teacherof Stoicism and wrote the
Enchiridion, a manual forpractical living.
Epictetus believed that ourgreatest freedom lies in our
ability to choose our responses.
He said it's not what happensto you, but how you react to it
(05:52):
that matters.
And lastly, we have MarcusAurelius.
He was a Roman emperor.
Now you may remember this nameas the bad guy in the gladiator.
Now you may remember this nameas the bad guy in the Gladiator.
However, the portrayal ofMarcus Aurelius in the Gladiator
played by Joaquin Phoenix,while an excellent bad guy for
(06:14):
the movie, was incrediblyinaccurate to Marcus Aurelius'
personality.
The real Marcus Aurelius was mypersonal favorite Stoic because
, despite his position asemperor, he's probably the most
(06:34):
relatable Stoic.
His personal writings, which arenow titled Meditations, were
basically his own journal histhoughts on how to lead a
virtuous life in the midst ofruling an empire.
He believed in accepting lifeas it is, knowing that external
events are beyond our control.
Here's one of his famous quotesyou have power over your mind,
(06:54):
not outside events.
Realize this and you will findstrength.
These three Stoics Seneca,epictetus and Marcus Aurelius
offer timeless advice, and theirteachings still resonate with
us today.
Now that we've touched on someof the history, let's dive into
the four core virtues ofStoicism, which are wisdom,
(07:19):
courage, justice and temperance.
These virtues are the frameworkstoics use to navigate life's
challenges, and they're just asrelevant now as they were in
ancient times.
The first one, wisdom, is aboutunderstanding what's in our
control and what's not.
It's about making decisionsbased on reason rather than
(07:43):
emotion.
It's about accumulatedexperience and thinking things
through before we actimpulsively.
Stoics encourage us to pause,reflect and think clearly before
reacting to any situation.
Second, we have courage.
I've done a whole episode aboutcourage.
(08:03):
Courage is about taking actioneven when you feel fear.
It's about feeling the fear anddoing it anyways.
It's not just about thephysical bravery.
It's about mental and emotionalresilience.
It's having the courage to facedifficult truths, to keep going
when life gets tough and to actwith integrity when no one is
(08:27):
watching.
Justice, justice is abouttreating others fairly, with
respect and in alignment withthe common good.
It's about being moral andethical.
It's about understanding we'reall interconnected and that
we're all responsible for eachother's well-being in addition
(08:49):
to our own.
And the final virtue istemperance, which is about
moderation, avoiding excess andpracticing self-control.
A huge part of their virtue oftemperance was about delaying
gratification.
Sounds a lot like discipline,doesn't it?
It's not about denyingourselves of any pleasure, but
(09:12):
about understanding our desiresand being able to choose what's
best for us in the long run.
In a sense, what they reallymeant was discipline.
So these four virtues give us aroadmap for personal
development.
If we focus on improving theseaspects of our life, in addition
to some of the otherfundamentals from the philosophy
(09:34):
, we can better handle life'sinevitable obstacles.
Now here's where the rubbermeets the road.
How can we apply stoicism whenthings get tough?
You know, when obstacles comeup, when we fail or when we feel
like life is just throwing onething after another at us.
(09:55):
That's when stoicism reallyshines.
Take Marcus Aurelius, forinstance.
In meditations, he oftenreminds himself that obstacles
are not something to be avoided,but something to be embraced.
He says the impediment toaction advances action.
What stands in the way becomesthe way.
(10:15):
This is one of the keyteachings of Stoicism View
obstacles not just as barriers,but as opportunities for growth.
When something goes wrong, it'sa chance to practice courage,
wisdom and temperance.
It's a reminder that ourreactions are where our true
(10:37):
power lies.
And when we fail because, let'sface it, failure is inevitable
stoicism offers a way to reframeit.
Epictetus said failure is not anevent, it's a judgment.
It's the way you choose to seeit.
Often, we judge anything lessthan perfect as failure.
(10:59):
Here we are near the very endof January.
Here we are near the very endof January.
Now.
Many of us set New Year'sresolutions or goals and
intentions for this new year,and in a previous episode I
talked about some of thestatistics surrounding the
success rates of the average NewYear's resolution.
(11:20):
Now, in that episode, we setourselves up with reflections
and intentions, with flexibilityand an understanding that it's
not about being perfect.
In order to achieve our goals,we have to keep going.
You don't fail until you quit.
We're trying to build a habitso that we have it for the long
(11:42):
term and make realistic andachievable goals.
When Epictetus says, failure isnot an event, it's a judgment,
we can apply that to the waythat we feel about our
resolutions.
Did you have a day this monthwhere you did not follow your
resolution?
(12:02):
Where you did not follow yourresolution?
Good, so did I.
We're all human.
We're not perfect, but I didn'tfail.
I didn't fail because I keptgoing.
I chose not to judge it as afailure, but as an obstacle in
the road, something I have toovercome and keep going.
(12:24):
By taking the stoic approach, wecontinue.
We don't let these obstaclesget in our way.
In fact, a true stoic lets theobstacles that pop up motivate
them.
Doing hard things, achievinghard things, is an opportunity
for growth.
It's an opportunity to dosomething worth doing, because
(12:46):
there will always be obstaclesin life.
To do something worth doingbecause there will always be
obstacles in life.
We have to accept that lifewon't always be easy and the
goal isn't comfort.
We used to live a life ofsubsistence.
Our entire life was just aboutsurviving.
We didn't have time for muchleisure.
We didn't have time or eveninvented most of the things that
(13:06):
we consider comforts these days.
Yet our perspective has changeddue to having not experienced
what it was like in the past.
When obstacles come up,anything that makes us
uncomfortable, we can often feelthat it's unfair, like life is
out to get us.
But the reality of life is thatlife used to be uncomfortable
(13:28):
all the time.
We didn't have the commoncomforts and pleasures of today,
which means it's really aboutperspective, and the Stoics saw
that Now.
There are times where weobjectively have failure, but
failure is not a bad thing.
A quote by Thomas Watson Jrduring his time as the second
(13:51):
president of IBM If you want toincrease your success rate,
double your failure rate.
Failure is an opportunity forgrowth.
Failure is an opportunity tolearn.
Action is success.
Outcomes good, bad, includingfailure, are about learning and
(14:13):
even failure outcomes equallearning.
Failure isn't a permanent state.
It's simply a lesson to belearned.
As long as you remain calm,assess the situation rationally
and use the experience to becomebetter, failure becomes a part
of the process.
(14:34):
But let's talk about a real-lifeexample.
Research shows that stoicprinciples can have a
significant impact on mentalresilience.
In one study published in theJournal of Positive Psychology,
participants who practicedstoic-like thinking,
particularly in reframingnegative events, showed higher
(14:56):
levels of well-being and lowerlevels of stress.
The researchers concluded thatstoic principles actually make
people more resilient in theface of adversity.
This is a powerful reminderthat Stoicism isn't just an
ancient philosophy it'sscientifically supported.
(15:16):
So we've talked about thehistory of philosophy, but what
about modern-day Stoics?
Who's living this stuff today?
Well, plenty of people fromdifferent walks of life have
embraced Stoicism.
A few notable ones includeAbraham Lincoln, nelson Mandela
and Barack Obama.
These three prominent leadersfrom throughout more recent
(15:37):
history all consideredthemselves Stoics and practiced
Stoicism.
Some other devotees of Stoicisminclude Ryan Holiday, author of
the Daily Stoic the Obstacle isthe Way and Ego is the Enemy.
He's made Stoicism moreaccessible to a new generation.
In fact, he often says theobstacle is the way.
(16:00):
This is one of the most famousquotes and it really embodies
the Stoic belief that adversityisn't something to avoid but
something to move through.
Tim Ferriss entrepreneur,podcaster, successful investor,
world-renowned life hacker andauthor of the 4-Hour Workweek
(16:21):
Ferriss, has often spoken abouthis Stoic practices, especially
in handling anxiety andovercoming the fear of failure.
These individuals, along withcountless others, use Stoic
practices to stay calm, makewise decisions and overcome
obstacles in their daily lives.
So the teachings of Marcus,seneca and Epictetus are far
(16:48):
from outdated.
They're practical, they'repowerful and they're used by
some of the most successful andresilient people today.
One area where Stoicism reallystands out is in its approach to
emotions.
Now, let's be clear.
Stoicism isn't aboutsuppressing or ignoring your
feelings.
About suppressing or ignoringyour feelings, many people
(17:12):
equate the philosophy ofStoicism to the modern word
Stoic.
There are two differentdefinitions to the word Stoic.
One is a devotee of Stoicism.
The other, more commonly usedone today, is someone who
doesn't show their emotions, whois unresponsive to something
that might normally elicit anemotion from someone.
This is not what stoicism isabout.
(17:34):
It's not about suppressing orignoring your feelings.
It's not about becoming someemotionless robot.
Instead, it's about developingmastery over your emotions so
that you don't let them, so thatthey don't control you.
The Stoics believe that emotionslike anger, fear and sadness
(17:59):
aren't inherently bad, butthey're often the result of
misconceptions or a lack ofself-control.
Misconceptions or a lack ofself-control, for example, anger
usually comes from ourexpectations being violated or
when we perceive an injustice.
Fear often arises when we'reworried about outcomes that we
(18:19):
can't control.
But here's the key the Stoicsbelieve that we can train
ourselves to be less reactive tothese emotions.
Epictetus famously said we aredisturbed not by what happens to
us, but by our thoughts aboutwhat happens to us.
This is where the power lies.
(18:46):
Stoicism teaches that, while youcan't always control the events
that trigger your emotions, youcan control how you think about
those events when you're angry,rather than letting that
emotion dictate your actions.
The Stoic would ask what's theroot of this anger?
Is it something I can control,or is it an external event that
I need to accept?
When you feel fear, you canremind yourself that what's
(19:07):
truly within your control is howyou prepare for or respond to
the situation, not the outcomeitself.
If you've been listening tothis podcast for a while, you
might be thinking, hey, a lot ofthis sounds kind of familiar,
and you wouldn't be wrong.
The Stoics were big believersand were honestly the
(19:29):
originators of two of my corefundamentals that our
perspective of reality shapesour experience of reality, and
that it's best to focus on ourlocus of control up with these.
(19:50):
The great thinkers of Stoicphilosophy came up with these
ideas literally thousands ofyears before I was born.
I'm not special.
I may have rephrased them in away that makes them easy to
remember and flush them out inthis podcast, but, like most
ideas, these concepts are notoriginally mine.
Several of my other corefundamentals were addressed in
(20:12):
the Stoic philosophies.
Wisdom covers lifelong learningand finding the objective truth
and, while not totally spelledout, shades of gray is one of
the best ways to do it.
Using obstacles to build ourselfup like a muscle was also a big
part of the Stoic philosophy.
(20:33):
Ryan Holiday, in his book theDaily Stoic, says the greatest
obstacle to living a life ofvirtue is the feeling that
things should be different thanthey are.
Stoicism teaches us to embracereality as it is, not just as we
wish it should be Now.
(20:55):
This doesn't mean that we can'ttake steps to help, take steps
to mold the world and our lifeto be a better version of itself
.
But we have to be realisticabout this by recognizing that
our emotions are often theproduct of how we interpret the
world.
Stoicism empowers us to shiftour perspective, calm our minds
(21:17):
and act from a place of reasonrather than impulse.
So next time that you're hitwith a strong emotion and an
impulse to act on it, try thisPause, breathe and reflect on
the stoic question what is in mycontrol here?
Or, as I prefer, focus on yourlocus.
(21:41):
This simple act of detachmentcan help you regain perspective
and respond with clarity.
But what does it really mean?
Clarity?
But what does it really mean?
The stoic is often the personthat people refer to as their
emotional rock, the person whois excellent in an emergency
(22:04):
situation, who snaps into actionand gets things done in a
crisis.
I want to share a personal storythat really tested my ability
to stay calm and to apply stoicprinciples in the midst of a
serious crisis.
Several years ago, my fathercalled me and he just sounded
(22:27):
off.
He then told me that he waspretty convinced he was having
the start of a stroke.
He started feeling numb and offon one side of his body, and
when he was trying to mow thelawn he couldn't turn the riding
mower quite right, and when hetried to button his pants, one
(22:48):
side of his body wasn't allowinghim to do it.
Naturally, I was terrified.
The emotions came rushing infear, anxiety, worry for my
father and the overwhelming urgeto just freeze.
But then I remembered somethingimportant from stoicism Our
(23:11):
power lies in how we respond toevents, not the events
themselves.
As the emotions started tosurge, I took a step back and
took a breath, somethingEpictetus once said.
We cannot choose our externalcircumstances, but we can always
choose how we respond to them.
(23:32):
But we can always choose how werespond to them.
I realized that panickingwasn't going to help my dad.
What I could do was my response, my actions and my ability to
stay calm and level-headed in ahigh-stress situation.
And in that moment, I put thefour stoic virtues to work.
(23:58):
Wisdom was about quicklyassessing the situation and
deciding on the best course ofaction.
The situation called forurgency, so I immediately took
action and drove over to pickhim up, like he was asking me to
do, since I only lived like twominutes away.
Courage meant acting in theface of the fear, the fear that
I didn't know what was going tohappen to my dad.
There was a lot.
(24:19):
I didn't know about what washappening, but I had to move
forward despite my fear and myuncertainty.
Justice came later and wasabout being fair to myself, not
beating myself up for not beingperfect in this situation, for
occasionally feeling that fearspiking.
(24:39):
It was about havingself-compassion and not
repeatedly asking myself what ifI got him there faster?
What if it isn't fast?
What if I didn't get him therefast enough, and temperance was
about not letting my anxietydictate my actions.
Now, in this situation, I wasutilizing the energy that the
(25:03):
anxiety was causing me, but Iwas trying my absolute best to
keep a stoic mindset and keep myhead about myself.
I knew that staying composedwould allow me to make better
decisions and offer my dad withthe support he needed.
I called upon wisdom by askinghim questions so I could also
help understand the situationbetter and answer questions for
(25:25):
the doctors as best as I could.
As we made our way to thehospital, I was speeding, but
not an amount that might get uspulled over, because taking that
risk wasn't worth it.
The hospital was pretty close.
I kept reminding myself thatthis situation was terrifying,
but it wasn't something I couldcontrol.
I couldn't make him not have amini-stroke.
(25:49):
I couldn't control whether hewas going to be okay or how
serious it could be, but I couldcontrol my actions and my
mindset.
I could keep myself calm andfocused, which would help me be
the best support that I couldfor him.
In that moment it wasn't aboutme, it was about him.
It was about doing my best.
(26:10):
Thankfully, it turned out thathe was only having a mini-stroke
and the medicine that they gavehim cleared it up before there
was any permanent damage.
But even though the outcometurned out okay, the situation
was still incredibly stressful.
I'm not saying it was easy, butthrough the lens of stoicism, I
was able to focus on my locusand take control of my conscious
(26:34):
perspective to be the mosteffective and helpful version of
myself, to stay calm and takeaction.
What I'm trying to say is thatlife doesn't always give us
smooth sailing, and unexpectedcrises can hit at any moment,
(26:56):
and stoicism doesn't necessarilymake those tough moments easier
, but it does give us aframework to navigate through
them with strength, clarity andresilience, so that I could be
the best version of myself forsomeone that I love in an
emergency.
Let's wrap this up with a fewactionable takeaways.
(27:18):
How can we start using stoicismto tackle life's challenges?
First, focus on what you cancontrol.
Figure out what your objectivelocus of control is.
Stop worrying about the thingsthat you can't control and keep
your focus on what you can.
(27:39):
When you're faced with anobstacle, ask yourself what can
I control here?
You can't control the weather,you can't control other people's
actions or the outcome of everysituation, but you can control
your thoughts, your actions andyour attitude.
Focus on that.
(28:03):
Let go of the rest.
Second, reframe your failures.
When things don't go your way,don't dwell on the negative.
Instead, see it as a learning.
Experience Outcomes equallearning.
As Epictetus says, it's notwhat happens to you, but how you
(28:24):
react to it that matters.
And finally, third, embraceobstacles as opportunities.
Remember Marcus Aurelius' quotethe impediment to action
advances action.
Obstacles aren't there to stopyou.
They're there to help you grow.
The obstacle is the way.
So, in moments of struggle,turn to Stoic principles to
guide you.
Whether you're dealing withfailure, a setback or just a
(28:44):
rough day.
Remember you have the power tochoose your response.
Alright, well, that's it fortoday's episode on stoicism and
overcoming obstacles.
I hope you found it helpful andthat you found some things that
you can take away from this andapply some of these stoic
principles in your life as younavigate your own challenges.
(29:05):
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
(29:27):
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
(29:50):
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
In this episode, we're going totalk about a philosophy that's
(00:26):
as relevant today as it was2,000 years ago.
That's right.
We're going to explore stoicismand how we can use its
teachings to face life'sobstacles, stay resilient when
we fail and ultimately become abetter version of ourselves.
Now I know this might soundlike a heavy or even dry topic.
(00:50):
When many people hearphilosophy, they think of a
bunch of old white guys in togasstanding around talking about
semantics, and sometimes thatwas the case, but today we're
here to break it down, make itpractical and maybe even a
little fun.
So let's get into it.
I was introduced to Stoicismalmost 10 years ago.
(01:14):
One of the first personaldevelopment books I ever read
was the book the Obstacle is theWay by Ryan Holiday.
This book took the teachings ofthe philosophy of Stoicism and
broke them down in a way thatmade them easy to understand and
stressed the real-lifeapplicability of them.
(01:35):
It was really the firstphilosophy that I ever studied.
The definition of philosophy isthe study of the fundamental
nature of knowledge, reality andor existence, especially when
considered as an academicdiscipline.
Not every philosophy exploresall of these things.
(01:57):
Some philosophies focus on justone of them.
Some philosophies focus on justa specific area of life.
There can be overarchingphilosophies or people can have
personal philosophies focus onjust a specific area of life.
There can be overarchingphilosophies or people can have
personal philosophies thatcombine things from many other
philosophies.
Really, they're perspectives orways of looking at life, and
(02:18):
Stoicism is just one of thosephilosophies.
In many ways, I consider myselfa practicing Stoic.
I don't necessarily agree witheverything that Stoicism
presents.
I feel certain parts areslightly outdated and that at
times it doesn't have enoughnuance or shades of gray.
But let's be real.
(02:38):
I basically say that aboutpractically everything.
Anything taken to an extremecan be a bad thing.
Anything taken out ofproportion can be too much.
However, many of the guidelinesof Stoicism have stood the test
of time and in many ways, thisis the first philosophy that
really had major personaldevelopment aspects built into
(03:01):
it Before we get into it.
Our goal with this podcast is toshare free, helpful tools with
you and anyone you know who islooking to improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
Now I think it's important togo over a little bit of the
(03:23):
history of Stoicism and what itactually is, before I get too
deep into how we can apply itand how it's affected my life.
So let's give it somebackground.
First, a little history.
Stoicism was founded in Athensaround 300 BC by a philosopher
(03:45):
named Zeno of Sidium.
He started teaching in a placecalled the Stoa Poikile, or the
Painted Porch in Greek, which iswhere the name Stoicism comes
from.
The central idea we can'tcontrol what happens to us, but
we can control how we respond toit.
(04:05):
At its core, it sounds prettysimple, right?
Well, in my opinion, and in theopinion of many philosophers,
it's one of the most powerfulideas in the history of
philosophy.
Over the years, stoicismevolved through three main
phases the early, middle andlate schools.
Some of its most well-knownfigures are Marcus Aurelius,
(04:29):
seneca and Epictetus.
Now there were many otherStoics, including Zeno himself.
Modern Stoicism is founded onthe ideas of Marcus, seneca and
Epictetus on the ideas of Marcus, seneca and Epictetus, because
almost all of the literaturethat we have on Stoicism comes
(04:50):
from these three powerfulthought leaders.
So let's quickly touch on theseindividuals and their
contributions.
First we have Seneca, a Romanstatesman, playwright and
advisor to Emperor Nero.
Seneca's letters and essaysfocus on the importance of
self-control and how to dealwith adversity.
(05:11):
He once said difficultiesstrengthen the mind as labor
does the body.
Sound familiar, kind of remindsme of the newest addition to
the core fundamentals life islike a muscle, so build it.
Then there's Epictetus, whostarted life as a slave.
(05:31):
He was freed, became a teacherof Stoicism and wrote the
Enchiridion, a manual forpractical living.
Epictetus believed that ourgreatest freedom lies in our
ability to choose our responses.
He said it's not what happensto you, but how you react to it
(05:52):
that matters.
And lastly, we have MarcusAurelius.
He was a Roman emperor.
Now you may remember this nameas the bad guy in the gladiator.
Now you may remember this nameas the bad guy in the Gladiator.
However, the portrayal ofMarcus Aurelius in the Gladiator
played by Joaquin Phoenix,while an excellent bad guy for
(06:14):
the movie, was incrediblyinaccurate to Marcus Aurelius'
personality.
The real Marcus Aurelius was mypersonal favorite Stoic because
, despite his position asemperor, he's probably the most
(06:34):
relatable Stoic.
His personal writings, which arenow titled Meditations, were
basically his own journal histhoughts on how to lead a
virtuous life in the midst ofruling an empire.
He believed in accepting lifeas it is, knowing that external
events are beyond our control.
Here's one of his famous quotesyou have power over your mind,
(06:54):
not outside events.
Realize this and you will findstrength.
These three Stoics Seneca,epictetus and Marcus Aurelius
offer timeless advice, and theirteachings still resonate with
us today.
Now that we've touched on someof the history, let's dive into
the four core virtues ofStoicism, which are wisdom,
(07:19):
courage, justice and temperance.
These virtues are the frameworkstoics use to navigate life's
challenges, and they're just asrelevant now as they were in
ancient times.
The first one, wisdom, is aboutunderstanding what's in our
control and what's not.
It's about making decisionsbased on reason rather than
(07:43):
emotion.
It's about accumulatedexperience and thinking things
through before we actimpulsively.
Stoics encourage us to pause,reflect and think clearly before
reacting to any situation.
Second, we have courage.
I've done a whole episode aboutcourage.
(08:03):
Courage is about taking actioneven when you feel fear.
It's about feeling the fear anddoing it anyways.
It's not just about thephysical bravery.
It's about mental and emotionalresilience.
It's having the courage to facedifficult truths, to keep going
when life gets tough and to actwith integrity when no one is
(08:27):
watching.
Justice, justice is abouttreating others fairly, with
respect and in alignment withthe common good.
It's about being moral andethical.
It's about understanding we'reall interconnected and that
we're all responsible for eachother's well-being in addition
(08:49):
to our own.
And the final virtue istemperance, which is about
moderation, avoiding excess andpracticing self-control.
A huge part of their virtue oftemperance was about delaying
gratification.
Sounds a lot like discipline,doesn't it?
It's not about denyingourselves of any pleasure, but
(09:12):
about understanding our desiresand being able to choose what's
best for us in the long run.
In a sense, what they reallymeant was discipline.
So these four virtues give us aroadmap for personal
development.
If we focus on improving theseaspects of our life, in addition
to some of the otherfundamentals from the philosophy
(09:34):
, we can better handle life'sinevitable obstacles.
Now here's where the rubbermeets the road.
How can we apply stoicism whenthings get tough?
You know, when obstacles comeup, when we fail or when we feel
like life is just throwing onething after another at us.
(09:55):
That's when stoicism reallyshines.
Take Marcus Aurelius, forinstance.
In meditations, he oftenreminds himself that obstacles
are not something to be avoided,but something to be embraced.
He says the impediment toaction advances action.
What stands in the way becomesthe way.
(10:15):
This is one of the keyteachings of Stoicism View
obstacles not just as barriers,but as opportunities for growth.
When something goes wrong, it'sa chance to practice courage,
wisdom and temperance.
It's a reminder that ourreactions are where our true
(10:37):
power lies.
And when we fail because, let'sface it, failure is inevitable
stoicism offers a way to reframeit.
Epictetus said failure is not anevent, it's a judgment.
It's the way you choose to seeit.
Often, we judge anything lessthan perfect as failure.
(10:59):
Here we are near the very endof January.
Here we are near the very endof January.
Now.
Many of us set New Year'sresolutions or goals and
intentions for this new year,and in a previous episode I
talked about some of thestatistics surrounding the
success rates of the average NewYear's resolution.
(11:20):
Now, in that episode, we setourselves up with reflections
and intentions, with flexibilityand an understanding that it's
not about being perfect.
In order to achieve our goals,we have to keep going.
You don't fail until you quit.
We're trying to build a habitso that we have it for the long
(11:42):
term and make realistic andachievable goals.
When Epictetus says, failure isnot an event, it's a judgment,
we can apply that to the waythat we feel about our
resolutions.
Did you have a day this monthwhere you did not follow your
resolution?
(12:02):
Where you did not follow yourresolution?
Good, so did I.
We're all human.
We're not perfect, but I didn'tfail.
I didn't fail because I keptgoing.
I chose not to judge it as afailure, but as an obstacle in
the road, something I have toovercome and keep going.
(12:24):
By taking the stoic approach, wecontinue.
We don't let these obstaclesget in our way.
In fact, a true stoic lets theobstacles that pop up motivate
them.
Doing hard things, achievinghard things, is an opportunity
for growth.
It's an opportunity to dosomething worth doing, because
(12:46):
there will always be obstaclesin life.
To do something worth doingbecause there will always be
obstacles in life.
We have to accept that lifewon't always be easy and the
goal isn't comfort.
We used to live a life ofsubsistence.
Our entire life was just aboutsurviving.
We didn't have time for muchleisure.
We didn't have time or eveninvented most of the things that
(13:06):
we consider comforts these days.
Yet our perspective has changeddue to having not experienced
what it was like in the past.
When obstacles come up,anything that makes us
uncomfortable, we can often feelthat it's unfair, like life is
out to get us.
But the reality of life is thatlife used to be uncomfortable
(13:28):
all the time.
We didn't have the commoncomforts and pleasures of today,
which means it's really aboutperspective, and the Stoics saw
that Now.
There are times where weobjectively have failure, but
failure is not a bad thing.
A quote by Thomas Watson Jrduring his time as the second
(13:51):
president of IBM If you want toincrease your success rate,
double your failure rate.
Failure is an opportunity forgrowth.
Failure is an opportunity tolearn.
Action is success.
Outcomes good, bad, includingfailure, are about learning and
(14:13):
even failure outcomes equallearning.
Failure isn't a permanent state.
It's simply a lesson to belearned.
As long as you remain calm,assess the situation rationally
and use the experience to becomebetter, failure becomes a part
of the process.
(14:34):
But let's talk about a real-lifeexample.
Research shows that stoicprinciples can have a
significant impact on mentalresilience.
In one study published in theJournal of Positive Psychology,
participants who practicedstoic-like thinking,
particularly in reframingnegative events, showed higher
(14:56):
levels of well-being and lowerlevels of stress.
The researchers concluded thatstoic principles actually make
people more resilient in theface of adversity.
This is a powerful reminderthat Stoicism isn't just an
ancient philosophy it'sscientifically supported.
(15:16):
So we've talked about thehistory of philosophy, but what
about modern-day Stoics?
Who's living this stuff today?
Well, plenty of people fromdifferent walks of life have
embraced Stoicism.
A few notable ones includeAbraham Lincoln, nelson Mandela
and Barack Obama.
These three prominent leadersfrom throughout more recent
(15:37):
history all consideredthemselves Stoics and practiced
Stoicism.
Some other devotees of Stoicisminclude Ryan Holiday, author of
the Daily Stoic the Obstacle isthe Way and Ego is the Enemy.
He's made Stoicism moreaccessible to a new generation.
In fact, he often says theobstacle is the way.
(16:00):
This is one of the most famousquotes and it really embodies
the Stoic belief that adversityisn't something to avoid but
something to move through.
Tim Ferriss entrepreneur,podcaster, successful investor,
world-renowned life hacker andauthor of the 4-Hour Workweek
(16:21):
Ferriss, has often spoken abouthis Stoic practices, especially
in handling anxiety andovercoming the fear of failure.
These individuals, along withcountless others, use Stoic
practices to stay calm, makewise decisions and overcome
obstacles in their daily lives.
So the teachings of Marcus,seneca and Epictetus are far
(16:48):
from outdated.
They're practical, they'repowerful and they're used by
some of the most successful andresilient people today.
One area where Stoicism reallystands out is in its approach to
emotions.
Now, let's be clear.
Stoicism isn't aboutsuppressing or ignoring your
feelings.
About suppressing or ignoringyour feelings, many people
(17:12):
equate the philosophy ofStoicism to the modern word
Stoic.
There are two differentdefinitions to the word Stoic.
One is a devotee of Stoicism.
The other, more commonly usedone today, is someone who
doesn't show their emotions, whois unresponsive to something
that might normally elicit anemotion from someone.
This is not what stoicism isabout.
(17:34):
It's not about suppressing orignoring your feelings.
It's not about becoming someemotionless robot.
Instead, it's about developingmastery over your emotions so
that you don't let them, so thatthey don't control you.
The Stoics believe that emotionslike anger, fear and sadness
(17:59):
aren't inherently bad, butthey're often the result of
misconceptions or a lack ofself-control.
Misconceptions or a lack ofself-control, for example, anger
usually comes from ourexpectations being violated or
when we perceive an injustice.
Fear often arises when we'reworried about outcomes that we
(18:19):
can't control.
But here's the key the Stoicsbelieve that we can train
ourselves to be less reactive tothese emotions.
Epictetus famously said we aredisturbed not by what happens to
us, but by our thoughts aboutwhat happens to us.
This is where the power lies.
(18:46):
Stoicism teaches that, while youcan't always control the events
that trigger your emotions, youcan control how you think about
those events when you're angry,rather than letting that
emotion dictate your actions.
The Stoic would ask what's theroot of this anger?
Is it something I can control,or is it an external event that
I need to accept?
When you feel fear, you canremind yourself that what's
(19:07):
truly within your control is howyou prepare for or respond to
the situation, not the outcomeitself.
If you've been listening tothis podcast for a while, you
might be thinking, hey, a lot ofthis sounds kind of familiar,
and you wouldn't be wrong.
The Stoics were big believersand were honestly the
(19:29):
originators of two of my corefundamentals that our
perspective of reality shapesour experience of reality, and
that it's best to focus on ourlocus of control up with these.
(19:50):
The great thinkers of Stoicphilosophy came up with these
ideas literally thousands ofyears before I was born.
I'm not special.
I may have rephrased them in away that makes them easy to
remember and flush them out inthis podcast, but, like most
ideas, these concepts are notoriginally mine.
Several of my other corefundamentals were addressed in
(20:12):
the Stoic philosophies.
Wisdom covers lifelong learningand finding the objective truth
and, while not totally spelledout, shades of gray is one of
the best ways to do it.
Using obstacles to build ourselfup like a muscle was also a big
part of the Stoic philosophy.
(20:33):
Ryan Holiday, in his book theDaily Stoic, says the greatest
obstacle to living a life ofvirtue is the feeling that
things should be different thanthey are.
Stoicism teaches us to embracereality as it is, not just as we
wish it should be Now.
(20:55):
This doesn't mean that we can'ttake steps to help, take steps
to mold the world and our lifeto be a better version of itself
.
But we have to be realisticabout this by recognizing that
our emotions are often theproduct of how we interpret the
world.
Stoicism empowers us to shiftour perspective, calm our minds
(21:17):
and act from a place of reasonrather than impulse.
So next time that you're hitwith a strong emotion and an
impulse to act on it, try thisPause, breathe and reflect on
the stoic question what is in mycontrol here?
Or, as I prefer, focus on yourlocus.
(21:41):
This simple act of detachmentcan help you regain perspective
and respond with clarity.
But what does it really mean?
Clarity?
But what does it really mean?
The stoic is often the personthat people refer to as their
emotional rock, the person whois excellent in an emergency
(22:04):
situation, who snaps into actionand gets things done in a
crisis.
I want to share a personal storythat really tested my ability
to stay calm and to apply stoicprinciples in the midst of a
serious crisis.
Several years ago, my fathercalled me and he just sounded
(22:27):
off.
He then told me that he waspretty convinced he was having
the start of a stroke.
He started feeling numb and offon one side of his body, and
when he was trying to mow thelawn he couldn't turn the riding
mower quite right, and when hetried to button his pants, one
(22:48):
side of his body wasn't allowinghim to do it.
Naturally, I was terrified.
The emotions came rushing infear, anxiety, worry for my
father and the overwhelming urgeto just freeze.
But then I remembered somethingimportant from stoicism Our
(23:11):
power lies in how we respond toevents, not the events
themselves.
As the emotions started tosurge, I took a step back and
took a breath, somethingEpictetus once said.
We cannot choose our externalcircumstances, but we can always
choose how we respond to them.
(23:32):
But we can always choose how werespond to them.
I realized that panickingwasn't going to help my dad.
What I could do was my response, my actions and my ability to
stay calm and level-headed in ahigh-stress situation.
And in that moment, I put thefour stoic virtues to work.
(23:58):
Wisdom was about quicklyassessing the situation and
deciding on the best course ofaction.
The situation called forurgency, so I immediately took
action and drove over to pickhim up, like he was asking me to
do, since I only lived like twominutes away.
Courage meant acting in theface of the fear, the fear that
I didn't know what was going tohappen to my dad.
There was a lot.
(24:19):
I didn't know about what washappening, but I had to move
forward despite my fear and myuncertainty.
Justice came later and wasabout being fair to myself, not
beating myself up for not beingperfect in this situation, for
occasionally feeling that fearspiking.
(24:39):
It was about havingself-compassion and not
repeatedly asking myself what ifI got him there faster?
What if it isn't fast?
What if I didn't get him therefast enough, and temperance was
about not letting my anxietydictate my actions.
Now, in this situation, I wasutilizing the energy that the
(25:03):
anxiety was causing me, but Iwas trying my absolute best to
keep a stoic mindset and keep myhead about myself.
I knew that staying composedwould allow me to make better
decisions and offer my dad withthe support he needed.
I called upon wisdom by askinghim questions so I could also
help understand the situationbetter and answer questions for
(25:25):
the doctors as best as I could.
As we made our way to thehospital, I was speeding, but
not an amount that might get uspulled over, because taking that
risk wasn't worth it.
The hospital was pretty close.
I kept reminding myself thatthis situation was terrifying,
but it wasn't something I couldcontrol.
I couldn't make him not have amini-stroke.
(25:49):
I couldn't control whether hewas going to be okay or how
serious it could be, but I couldcontrol my actions and my
mindset.
I could keep myself calm andfocused, which would help me be
the best support that I couldfor him.
In that moment it wasn't aboutme, it was about him.
It was about doing my best.
(26:10):
Thankfully, it turned out thathe was only having a mini-stroke
and the medicine that they gavehim cleared it up before there
was any permanent damage.
But even though the outcometurned out okay, the situation
was still incredibly stressful.
I'm not saying it was easy, butthrough the lens of stoicism, I
was able to focus on my locusand take control of my conscious
(26:34):
perspective to be the mosteffective and helpful version of
myself, to stay calm and takeaction.
What I'm trying to say is thatlife doesn't always give us
smooth sailing, and unexpectedcrises can hit at any moment,
(26:56):
and stoicism doesn't necessarilymake those tough moments easier
, but it does give us aframework to navigate through
them with strength, clarity andresilience, so that I could be
the best version of myself forsomeone that I love in an
emergency.
Let's wrap this up with a fewactionable takeaways.
(27:18):
How can we start using stoicismto tackle life's challenges?
First, focus on what you cancontrol.
Figure out what your objectivelocus of control is.
Stop worrying about the thingsthat you can't control and keep
your focus on what you can.
(27:39):
When you're faced with anobstacle, ask yourself what can
I control here?
You can't control the weather,you can't control other people's
actions or the outcome of everysituation, but you can control
your thoughts, your actions andyour attitude.
Focus on that.
(28:03):
Let go of the rest.
Second, reframe your failures.
When things don't go your way,don't dwell on the negative.
Instead, see it as a learning.
Experience Outcomes equallearning.
As Epictetus says, it's notwhat happens to you, but how you
(28:24):
react to it that matters.
And finally, third, embraceobstacles as opportunities.
Remember Marcus Aurelius' quotethe impediment to action
advances action.
Obstacles aren't there to stopyou.
They're there to help you grow.
The obstacle is the way.
So, in moments of struggle,turn to Stoic principles to
guide you.
Whether you're dealing withfailure, a setback or just a
(28:44):
rough day.
Remember you have the power tochoose your response.
Alright, well, that's it fortoday's episode on stoicism and
overcoming obstacles.
I hope you found it helpful andthat you found some things that
you can take away from this andapply some of these stoic
principles in your life as younavigate your own challenges.
(29:05):
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
(29:27):
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
(29:50):
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
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