April 22, 2025 • 20 mins
For our 40th episode, we're switching things up with a Q&A format to address listener questions about personal development, coaching approaches, and practical self-improvement strategies.
• Passion for self-improvement stems from personal transformation from a muted version to authentic self
• Self-improvement feels like leveling up in a video game—building skills, finding synergies, and growing stronger
• First coaching step is deeply understanding a client's situation before tackling self-limiting beliefs
• Currently reading "Language in Thought and Action," "Sapiens," and "Tools of Titans"
• Don't push personal development on reluctant partners—model the behavior and inspire through actions
• Balance self-improvement with self-acceptance and compassion for yourself and others
• Growth requires both consistency and intellectual humility to keep learning
Send us your questions for future Q&A episodes by clicking the link in the description or messaging us on our Facebook page.
We would love to hear your feedback! Click here to tell us what you think.
https://sagesolutions.buzzsprout.com
If you are interested in one-on-one coaching, email us at:
sagecoachingsolutions@gmail.com
**Legal Disclaimer**
The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
This episode is actually our40th episode, so I decided to do
(00:25):
something a little bitdifferent.
Throughout our time here at theSage Solutions podcast, I've
been regularly asking people forfeedback, just looking to get
input so that we can continue togrow and improve and make this
podcast the best that it can be.
Similar to the goal the podcastis actually about helping
(00:47):
people become their best selvesby sharing insights that I've
learned over time that I use inmy coaching, by bringing people
with great insights onto thepodcast and by sharing the
wisdom of the many, many peoplethat I've learned from directly
or through a podcast or a book,and I am just happy that this
(01:12):
has touched and blessed so manydifferent lives in a way that I
had hoped for this podcast to do.
Over time, we have gotten aseries of different questions
that I have curated, and today'sepisode is actually going to be
a Q&A or question and answerpodcast, where I take some
(01:34):
questions that I've accumulatedfrom listeners and answer them.
A number of these questions arejust really good, helpful
questions that I'm sure thelisteners who ask them aren't
the only ones who have thesequestions.
So I feel it'll apply a lot ofvalue to everyone listening to
this.
But before we get into it, ourgoal with this podcast is to
(01:58):
share free, helpful tools withyou and anyone you know who's
looking to improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
We've actually gotten a wholeslew of questions from different
people, but I'm only going tocover a couple this episode.
We'll do another Q&A episode ata later date.
(02:21):
So our first question is why areyou so passionate about
self-improvement?
I am super passionate aboutself-improvement because my life
is completely different as aresult of it.
In retrospect, I like who I wasgrowing up.
I think I was a nice enough kidand I think I was easy to get
(02:42):
along with, but in truth, Ireally wasn't who I wanted to be
.
I was like a quiet, muted, veryfiltered version of myself, and
my extreme lack of confidenceand poor self-image dramatically
changed how I showed up in myinteractions with other people
(03:02):
and, for myself and for me,getting into personal
development flipped a switchthat completely changed
everything about my life.
I can't explain how differentit is to feel good about
yourself on the inside,especially when you compare it
to feeling so poorly and soempty and so scared.
(03:27):
Honestly, it's a huge flip tosee yourself in its entirety, to
have self-awareness, to followit up with self-acceptance and
then for the areas that you'reworking on, for the areas that
aren't your favorite, you'veaccepted yourself for them and
(03:49):
you're going to give yourselfsome self-compassion instead of
shaming yourself.
And by giving yourself thatcompassion you actually build up
the muscle to be morecompassionate to others.
And by filling up your cup,building up your confidence,
building up your self-awareness,acceptance and compassion, you
become happier.
(04:10):
And there are many other waysto build fulfillment and
happiness, but happy people helppeople and I am a much truer
version of myself today becauseI was able to do that for myself
.
And from there it kind of justspiraled out.
(04:31):
In a way, self-improvement to mefeels like leveling up in a
video game.
If you've ever played an RPG ora role-playing game anything
from Dungeons, dragons, baldur's, gate 3, to you name it,
there's a million of them but agame where you, over time, build
your character, you level up,you grow, you get new skills,
(04:52):
you get stronger, you find newsynergies.
That's how self-improvementfeels to me.
The willingness to acceptyourself for who you are and
where you're at, to use shadesof gray and not take things too
far, and to give yourselfcompassion for not being perfect
, are the counterbalances thatallow me to fully embrace
(05:15):
self-improvement, by filling upmy inner cup and being happy
with myself for who I am andseeing things with some nuance
and balance and giving myselfthat compassion.
It frees me up to not beatmyself up or be hard on myself
or focus on everything that I'mnot.
It allows me to build up thatcharacter, to continue to
(05:39):
improve and grow.
Growth is one of our six humanneeds, and doing things that
cultivate it and make you animproved, upgraded version of
yourself, by building all ofthese different muscles, which
skills are really just builtlike a muscle.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit.
(05:59):
By building all of thesedifferent skills, we keep
growing, keep learning.
We are lifelong learners whoare thinking in shades of gray.
By continuing to learn newthings, being open, having
intellectual humility, theability to grow and develop new
skills, by building your lifelike a muscle, through different
(06:23):
skills and consistency and gritand perseverance, we put
ourselves in a much betterposition to just constantly be
growing and getting better, andyou can take confidence in the
fact that you are constantlyimproving.
But you have to stay humble,otherwise you'll stop improving.
(06:45):
It was a great first question,so we're going to move on to the
second question.
What is the first thing thatyou work on with your clients?
Honestly, the first step is notreally working on anything with
a new client.
It's getting to know them andunderstand them.
I take time to sit down andhave a full conversation, asking
(07:05):
as many questions as possibleto just get information out of
them.
I need to understand theirsituation, what drives them,
what's important to them,factors in their life, limiting
beliefs, the way that they talkto themselves and why they came
to me in the first place.
I need to make sure that theyactually want this, that
(07:27):
somebody isn't putting them upto the coaching, because if you
don't want to change, I can'tmake you change.
You have to want this.
So when somebody comes to me asa client and they're paying
money to have me help coach themthrough this journey of life
hence why they call it a lifecoach I don't do general life
(07:48):
coaching.
I really work more with nichecoaching, specifically in the
area of self-worth andconfidence coaching.
Now I am actually looking atopening up a second sector of
coaching around handling changeand being resilient, and we'll
get to that in a future episodeWith my self-worth and
(08:12):
confidence clients once I'vegotten an understanding of their
situation.
It is highly individualized butstatistically speaking, I would
say that the first thing we tendto tackle is really starting to
dig into their beliefs andstart changing some of these
self-limiting beliefs, becausethose are usually the major root
(08:35):
of their lack of confidence,and the fastest way that we do
that is by working on theirself-talk.
It's kind of a one-two punch.
Now, if you're interested inreceiving some coaching, you can
always reach out to me atsagecoachingsolutions at
gmailcom.
But not everyone that'slistening to this podcast needs
full-on coaching and that'stotally okay.
(08:57):
So I guess my long-windedanswer I'm going to TLDR or sum
up as first I take time tounderstand their situation and
all of the dynamics playing intoit.
Then we typically dig intoself-limiting beliefs and the
way that they talk to themselvesand move on from there.
(09:20):
Our third question from one ofour listeners what book are you
reading right now?
That's actually a greatquestion.
I am often to be honest withyou.
I don't read a lot of physicalbooks.
I do occasionally read physicalbooks, but for me and my ADHD,
(09:43):
I tend to find that audiobookswork much, much better for me.
So I listen to a lot of books,like a lot.
I am currently in the middle ofa series of different audio
books, but the physical bookthat I'm reading right now is
called Language in Thought andAction and it talks about the
(10:04):
way that language shapes almostevery aspect of our lives, in
the way that we talk toourselves, in the way that we
talk to others, in the functionsof language throughout time,
both historically, and how usingdifferent language or different
(10:26):
tonality conveys differentmessages, and how we can look at
things and use language to biasthings one way or another.
I've just found the book reallyinteresting for understanding
language and all of itsfunctions better, because I
think there's some broad,sweeping things that come from
(10:49):
that.
I'm also listening to Sapiensby Ival Noah Harari, which
details sort of the entirehistory of humankind, or at
least Homo sapiens, which iswhat we are, and that has been
very fascinating for similarreasons to language and thought
(11:10):
and action, because it reallybreaks down how we became who we
are from a historicalstandpoint, also helping me
understand just humans as aspecies better, which I have
been gaining insights that Ithink will help in my coaching,
will help for this podcast, andI just find it interesting.
(11:30):
And then actually the last onethat I've been listening to is
Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss.
To make a long story short,basically in this book
throughout all of Tim Ferriss'time being the incredibly
diversely talented Tim FerrissFor anyone that doesn't know, he
is kind of like the antithesisof Jack of all trades, master of
(11:55):
none.
He's sort of Jack of all trades, top 3% for almost all of them.
But basically he's had a very,very successful podcast called
the Tim Ferriss Show for a longtime and throughout all of his
self-experimentation andnetworking that he's done over
time, both through the podcastand not for the podcast, for a
(12:16):
series of different books and soon, he took notes from these
conversations and distilled itdown into the most important, I
guess, tools or advice that hegot from these different
individuals, who areextraordinary in their own right
, and boiled it down into thispretty impressive book called
(12:36):
Tools for Titans, where it's inshort, little chapters that
detail the best things helearned from each person.
So, yeah, those are the booksthat I'm primarily focusing on
right now.
All right, I'm going to move onto our final question for today,
and this is actually.
This is a really good one howdo I get my spouse slash
(12:59):
significant other excited aboutself-improvement?
My quick answer is you don't,because if you try and push
personal development on otherpeople, it's generally a pretty
big turnoff.
Some people take it as youthink there's something wrong
with them.
Some people just think thatyou're being preachy and
(13:19):
annoying Look, I still couldprobably do a better job of this
.
But generally speaking, I trynot to push personal development
on other people because itwould be incredibly annoying.
It is something I'm incrediblypassionate about, but I have
(13:40):
friends that practically nevereven and maybe I'm overselling
this, but barely ever hear metalk about these things, because
it can be kind of grating andif somebody is not in the right
headspace, you're not actuallychanging it.
It's like I said earlier Iwon't take in a non-willing
client.
(14:00):
I won't take a client thatsomebody else is paying for and
they don't really want to bethere.
I'm not going to waste theirtime like that because they
don't want to change.
They're not going to change.
It's the same here If somebodyisn't open to personal
development, you're not going topurposely open them to it and
push it on them and have themchange.
(14:21):
That's not how it works.
Now that doesn't mean that youcan't have a positive impact on
other people.
So this is what I would say Ifyou're going to do a good amount
of personal development, don'tpush that on your spouse.
A Don't be overly talking aboutit and super annoying about it.
(14:42):
Think about how you're comingoff when you're talking about it
, because you might make itsound like you're implying that
they are bad at something.
If you're excited about how youknow whatever concept works,
what I would say is model ityourself.
Actions speak louder than words.
Be that person.
(15:03):
Do the self-improvement.
It's generally a personal thing.
That person.
Do the self-improvement.
It's generally a personal thing.
Now you might be lucky enough tohave some other people in your
life that are passionate aboutit as well, and you can talk
about it with those people, butdon't push it on people that are
not interested in this.
Let's say I was super intogardening.
(15:24):
I might talk to other peopleabout gardening sometimes, but I
am not going to just blow theirears out with gardening if they
have no interest in it becauseI'm going to bore them to death.
It's the same thing withpersonal development, but you
have to be even a little bitmore careful.
So model it by doing ityourself right, and as they see
(15:50):
these positive changes in youand they see how much excitement
and passion you have for it,they may gain an interest in it.
If the time is right.
Now I said may they may never.
It is okay.
You need to have compassion.
We've talked a lot aboutself-compassion, but, honestly,
(16:14):
compassion for others is just asimportant, probably more.
You need to understand that noteveryone is on this personal
development journey with you andthat it's not your job to push
them into it.
You are responsible foryourself.
So go out, keep improving, be agood person and inspire others
(16:39):
to do the same, and I don't meanby pushing it, I just mean by
living it Now.
Yes, there are other ways tomake a difference.
I mean I'm literally tellingpeople about personal
development things weekly onthis podcast, or find a job that
allows you to make a difference, but that's not necessarily
everyone's path and that's okay.
(17:01):
I will also say this If, whenyou bring it up in conversation,
just like you would any otherhobby.
Your significant other showssome interest in it or asks you
more about it, then yes, you candefinitely just don't go
overboard.
Tell them more about it andthey may already be open to it
(17:23):
in the first place, and thenthey can sort of join you on
that journey.
But they have to be the oneasking and curious when it
happens to come up, not youpushing them to do it.
And then, of course, there'salso the situation which I have
where I am lucky enough to havemy wife Hannah be interested in
(17:47):
this field to a lesser degreethan me, but still interested in
, having read a number of bookson personal development before
we even met, and I didn'tnecessarily push it that much or
anything.
I would just say that Hannahalready had an interest in it
and, because it's such a bigpart of my life, has sort of
(18:11):
upped her personal developmentthrough osmosis and at least
through some of theconversations.
She said that some of thethings I've done or talked about
have inspired her as well.
So I'm not just saying thiswithout any personal experience
surrounding it.
This is kind of the way that itworked for me.
So once again TLDR.
(18:31):
To make a long story short,don't push this on your spouse.
Live it and inspire them tojoin you.
If the time is right, you cantalk to them about it just like
you would any other hobby, butgenerally, if people feel like
they're being influenced to dosomething, they're much less
(18:51):
likely to do it.
Well, that's all that we havefor today.
I hope that you found some valuein my answers to these
questions and, honestly, pleasekeep sending these questions in.
I really enjoyed this format.
I think it's something thatgets at the real-life questions
that you have so that I cananswer them and provide these
(19:13):
quote-unquote sage solutions.
So feel free to click the linkdown below in the description,
no matter where you're listening, and leave us feedback, or go
to our Facebook page and send amessage with questions that
you'd like answered.
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
(19:38):
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
(20:03):
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(20:25):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
This episode is actually our40th episode, so I decided to do
(00:25):
something a little bitdifferent.
Throughout our time here at theSage Solutions podcast, I've
been regularly asking people forfeedback, just looking to get
input so that we can continue togrow and improve and make this
podcast the best that it can be.
Similar to the goal the podcastis actually about helping
(00:47):
people become their best selvesby sharing insights that I've
learned over time that I use inmy coaching, by bringing people
with great insights onto thepodcast and by sharing the
wisdom of the many, many peoplethat I've learned from directly
or through a podcast or a book,and I am just happy that this
(01:12):
has touched and blessed so manydifferent lives in a way that I
had hoped for this podcast to do.
Over time, we have gotten aseries of different questions
that I have curated, and today'sepisode is actually going to be
a Q&A or question and answerpodcast, where I take some
(01:34):
questions that I've accumulatedfrom listeners and answer them.
A number of these questions arejust really good, helpful
questions that I'm sure thelisteners who ask them aren't
the only ones who have thesequestions.
So I feel it'll apply a lot ofvalue to everyone listening to
this.
But before we get into it, ourgoal with this podcast is to
(01:58):
share free, helpful tools withyou and anyone you know who's
looking to improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
We've actually gotten a wholeslew of questions from different
people, but I'm only going tocover a couple this episode.
We'll do another Q&A episode ata later date.
(02:21):
So our first question is why areyou so passionate about
self-improvement?
I am super passionate aboutself-improvement because my life
is completely different as aresult of it.
In retrospect, I like who I wasgrowing up.
I think I was a nice enough kidand I think I was easy to get
(02:42):
along with, but in truth, Ireally wasn't who I wanted to be
.
I was like a quiet, muted, veryfiltered version of myself, and
my extreme lack of confidenceand poor self-image dramatically
changed how I showed up in myinteractions with other people
(03:02):
and, for myself and for me,getting into personal
development flipped a switchthat completely changed
everything about my life.
I can't explain how differentit is to feel good about
yourself on the inside,especially when you compare it
to feeling so poorly and soempty and so scared.
(03:27):
Honestly, it's a huge flip tosee yourself in its entirety, to
have self-awareness, to followit up with self-acceptance and
then for the areas that you'reworking on, for the areas that
aren't your favorite, you'veaccepted yourself for them and
(03:49):
you're going to give yourselfsome self-compassion instead of
shaming yourself.
And by giving yourself thatcompassion you actually build up
the muscle to be morecompassionate to others.
And by filling up your cup,building up your confidence,
building up your self-awareness,acceptance and compassion, you
become happier.
(04:10):
And there are many other waysto build fulfillment and
happiness, but happy people helppeople and I am a much truer
version of myself today becauseI was able to do that for myself
.
And from there it kind of justspiraled out.
(04:31):
In a way, self-improvement to mefeels like leveling up in a
video game.
If you've ever played an RPG ora role-playing game anything
from Dungeons, dragons, baldur's, gate 3, to you name it,
there's a million of them but agame where you, over time, build
your character, you level up,you grow, you get new skills,
(04:52):
you get stronger, you find newsynergies.
That's how self-improvementfeels to me.
The willingness to acceptyourself for who you are and
where you're at, to use shadesof gray and not take things too
far, and to give yourselfcompassion for not being perfect
, are the counterbalances thatallow me to fully embrace
(05:15):
self-improvement, by filling upmy inner cup and being happy
with myself for who I am andseeing things with some nuance
and balance and giving myselfthat compassion.
It frees me up to not beatmyself up or be hard on myself
or focus on everything that I'mnot.
It allows me to build up thatcharacter, to continue to
(05:39):
improve and grow.
Growth is one of our six humanneeds, and doing things that
cultivate it and make you animproved, upgraded version of
yourself, by building all ofthese different muscles, which
skills are really just builtlike a muscle.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit.
(05:59):
By building all of thesedifferent skills, we keep
growing, keep learning.
We are lifelong learners whoare thinking in shades of gray.
By continuing to learn newthings, being open, having
intellectual humility, theability to grow and develop new
skills, by building your lifelike a muscle, through different
(06:23):
skills and consistency and gritand perseverance, we put
ourselves in a much betterposition to just constantly be
growing and getting better, andyou can take confidence in the
fact that you are constantlyimproving.
But you have to stay humble,otherwise you'll stop improving.
(06:45):
It was a great first question,so we're going to move on to the
second question.
What is the first thing thatyou work on with your clients?
Honestly, the first step is notreally working on anything with
a new client.
It's getting to know them andunderstand them.
I take time to sit down andhave a full conversation, asking
(07:05):
as many questions as possibleto just get information out of
them.
I need to understand theirsituation, what drives them,
what's important to them,factors in their life, limiting
beliefs, the way that they talkto themselves and why they came
to me in the first place.
I need to make sure that theyactually want this, that
(07:27):
somebody isn't putting them upto the coaching, because if you
don't want to change, I can'tmake you change.
You have to want this.
So when somebody comes to me asa client and they're paying
money to have me help coach themthrough this journey of life
hence why they call it a lifecoach I don't do general life
(07:48):
coaching.
I really work more with nichecoaching, specifically in the
area of self-worth andconfidence coaching.
Now I am actually looking atopening up a second sector of
coaching around handling changeand being resilient, and we'll
get to that in a future episodeWith my self-worth and
(08:12):
confidence clients once I'vegotten an understanding of their
situation.
It is highly individualized butstatistically speaking, I would
say that the first thing we tendto tackle is really starting to
dig into their beliefs andstart changing some of these
self-limiting beliefs, becausethose are usually the major root
(08:35):
of their lack of confidence,and the fastest way that we do
that is by working on theirself-talk.
It's kind of a one-two punch.
Now, if you're interested inreceiving some coaching, you can
always reach out to me atsagecoachingsolutions at
gmailcom.
But not everyone that'slistening to this podcast needs
full-on coaching and that'stotally okay.
(08:57):
So I guess my long-windedanswer I'm going to TLDR or sum
up as first I take time tounderstand their situation and
all of the dynamics playing intoit.
Then we typically dig intoself-limiting beliefs and the
way that they talk to themselvesand move on from there.
(09:20):
Our third question from one ofour listeners what book are you
reading right now?
That's actually a greatquestion.
I am often to be honest withyou.
I don't read a lot of physicalbooks.
I do occasionally read physicalbooks, but for me and my ADHD,
(09:43):
I tend to find that audiobookswork much, much better for me.
So I listen to a lot of books,like a lot.
I am currently in the middle ofa series of different audio
books, but the physical bookthat I'm reading right now is
called Language in Thought andAction and it talks about the
(10:04):
way that language shapes almostevery aspect of our lives, in
the way that we talk toourselves, in the way that we
talk to others, in the functionsof language throughout time,
both historically, and how usingdifferent language or different
(10:26):
tonality conveys differentmessages, and how we can look at
things and use language to biasthings one way or another.
I've just found the book reallyinteresting for understanding
language and all of itsfunctions better, because I
think there's some broad,sweeping things that come from
(10:49):
that.
I'm also listening to Sapiensby Ival Noah Harari, which
details sort of the entirehistory of humankind, or at
least Homo sapiens, which iswhat we are, and that has been
very fascinating for similarreasons to language and thought
(11:10):
and action, because it reallybreaks down how we became who we
are from a historicalstandpoint, also helping me
understand just humans as aspecies better, which I have
been gaining insights that Ithink will help in my coaching,
will help for this podcast, andI just find it interesting.
(11:30):
And then actually the last onethat I've been listening to is
Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss.
To make a long story short,basically in this book
throughout all of Tim Ferriss'time being the incredibly
diversely talented Tim FerrissFor anyone that doesn't know, he
is kind of like the antithesisof Jack of all trades, master of
(11:55):
none.
He's sort of Jack of all trades, top 3% for almost all of them.
But basically he's had a very,very successful podcast called
the Tim Ferriss Show for a longtime and throughout all of his
self-experimentation andnetworking that he's done over
time, both through the podcastand not for the podcast, for a
(12:16):
series of different books and soon, he took notes from these
conversations and distilled itdown into the most important, I
guess, tools or advice that hegot from these different
individuals, who areextraordinary in their own right
, and boiled it down into thispretty impressive book called
(12:36):
Tools for Titans, where it's inshort, little chapters that
detail the best things helearned from each person.
So, yeah, those are the booksthat I'm primarily focusing on
right now.
All right, I'm going to move onto our final question for today,
and this is actually.
This is a really good one howdo I get my spouse slash
(12:59):
significant other excited aboutself-improvement?
My quick answer is you don't,because if you try and push
personal development on otherpeople, it's generally a pretty
big turnoff.
Some people take it as youthink there's something wrong
with them.
Some people just think thatyou're being preachy and
(13:19):
annoying Look, I still couldprobably do a better job of this
.
But generally speaking, I trynot to push personal development
on other people because itwould be incredibly annoying.
It is something I'm incrediblypassionate about, but I have
(13:40):
friends that practically nevereven and maybe I'm overselling
this, but barely ever hear metalk about these things, because
it can be kind of grating andif somebody is not in the right
headspace, you're not actuallychanging it.
It's like I said earlier Iwon't take in a non-willing
client.
(14:00):
I won't take a client thatsomebody else is paying for and
they don't really want to bethere.
I'm not going to waste theirtime like that because they
don't want to change.
They're not going to change.
It's the same here If somebodyisn't open to personal
development, you're not going topurposely open them to it and
push it on them and have themchange.
(14:21):
That's not how it works.
Now that doesn't mean that youcan't have a positive impact on
other people.
So this is what I would say Ifyou're going to do a good amount
of personal development, don'tpush that on your spouse.
A Don't be overly talking aboutit and super annoying about it.
(14:42):
Think about how you're comingoff when you're talking about it
, because you might make itsound like you're implying that
they are bad at something.
If you're excited about how youknow whatever concept works,
what I would say is model ityourself.
Actions speak louder than words.
Be that person.
(15:03):
Do the self-improvement.
It's generally a personal thing.
That person.
Do the self-improvement.
It's generally a personal thing.
Now you might be lucky enough tohave some other people in your
life that are passionate aboutit as well, and you can talk
about it with those people, butdon't push it on people that are
not interested in this.
Let's say I was super intogardening.
(15:24):
I might talk to other peopleabout gardening sometimes, but I
am not going to just blow theirears out with gardening if they
have no interest in it becauseI'm going to bore them to death.
It's the same thing withpersonal development, but you
have to be even a little bitmore careful.
So model it by doing ityourself right, and as they see
(15:50):
these positive changes in youand they see how much excitement
and passion you have for it,they may gain an interest in it.
If the time is right.
Now I said may they may never.
It is okay.
You need to have compassion.
We've talked a lot aboutself-compassion, but, honestly,
(16:14):
compassion for others is just asimportant, probably more.
You need to understand that noteveryone is on this personal
development journey with you andthat it's not your job to push
them into it.
You are responsible foryourself.
So go out, keep improving, be agood person and inspire others
(16:39):
to do the same, and I don't meanby pushing it, I just mean by
living it Now.
Yes, there are other ways tomake a difference.
I mean I'm literally tellingpeople about personal
development things weekly onthis podcast, or find a job that
allows you to make a difference, but that's not necessarily
everyone's path and that's okay.
(17:01):
I will also say this If, whenyou bring it up in conversation,
just like you would any otherhobby.
Your significant other showssome interest in it or asks you
more about it, then yes, you candefinitely just don't go
overboard.
Tell them more about it andthey may already be open to it
(17:23):
in the first place, and thenthey can sort of join you on
that journey.
But they have to be the oneasking and curious when it
happens to come up, not youpushing them to do it.
And then, of course, there'salso the situation which I have
where I am lucky enough to havemy wife Hannah be interested in
(17:47):
this field to a lesser degreethan me, but still interested in
, having read a number of bookson personal development before
we even met, and I didn'tnecessarily push it that much or
anything.
I would just say that Hannahalready had an interest in it
and, because it's such a bigpart of my life, has sort of
(18:11):
upped her personal developmentthrough osmosis and at least
through some of theconversations.
She said that some of thethings I've done or talked about
have inspired her as well.
So I'm not just saying thiswithout any personal experience
surrounding it.
This is kind of the way that itworked for me.
So once again TLDR.
(18:31):
To make a long story short,don't push this on your spouse.
Live it and inspire them tojoin you.
If the time is right, you cantalk to them about it just like
you would any other hobby, butgenerally, if people feel like
they're being influenced to dosomething, they're much less
(18:51):
likely to do it.
Well, that's all that we havefor today.
I hope that you found some valuein my answers to these
questions and, honestly, pleasekeep sending these questions in.
I really enjoyed this format.
I think it's something thatgets at the real-life questions
that you have so that I cananswer them and provide these
(19:13):
quote-unquote sage solutions.
So feel free to click the linkdown below in the description,
no matter where you're listening, and leave us feedback, or go
to our Facebook page and send amessage with questions that
you'd like answered.
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
(19:38):
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
(20:03):
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(20:25):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
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