Reconnecting With Foundational Concepts

Ever feel like you're spinning your wheels in your personal growth journey? You're not alone. In this reflective episode, we take a step back to revisit and connect the core concepts that truly move the needle in personal development.

Courage isn't what most people think. It's not the absence of fear, but rather feeling that fear and moving forward anyway. This distinction matters because it means courage is deeply personal – only you know when you're truly being brave. We examine how this connects to taking consistent action, which creates the compound effect that transforms lives over time.

Sleep might be the most underrated superpower in personal development. When you're well-rested, you're more likely to maintain perspective, exercise self-control, and approach life with curiosity. Yet many of us sacrifice sleep while trying to optimize everything else. We explore why this fundamental element affects literally every other aspect of growth.

The most powerful tool at your disposal isn't a fancy technique or app – it's your ability to shift perspective. The hedonic treadmill causes us to adapt to positive circumstances until they no longer bring joy, but conscious perspective management lets us extract more fulfillment from our existing reality. Combined with focusing on your locus of control and meeting your six human needs in healthy ways, these interconnected principles create sustainable change.

Meeting your six human needs (certainty, variety, connection, significance, growth, contribution) prevents destructive behaviors. Growth and contribution are the ultimate fulfillment needs

Whether you're a longtime listener catching up or new to personal development, this episode provides a valuable framework for thinking about growth holistically. Subscribe to continue the journey, and remember – you are enough and deserve to fill your inner cup with happiness, confidence, and self-compassion.

We would love to hear your feedback! Click here to tell us what you think.

https://sagesolutions.buzzsprout.com

If you are interested in one-on-one coaching, email us at:
[e-mail]

**Legal Disclaimer**
The Sage Solutions Podcast and content posted by David Sage is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. No coaching client relationship is formed by listening to this podcast. No Legal, Medical or Financial advice is being given. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a psychotherapist, physician, professional coach, Lawyer or other qualified professional. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions. The opinions of guests are their own and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of the podcast.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach with Sage CoachingSolutions.
Today's episode is a littledifferent than most of the

(00:26):
previous episodes that we'vedone.
It's a bit of a check-in.
We're going to be touching onand talking about some of the
different concepts that we'vetalked about in previous
episodes, kind of putting themtogether, putting extra stress
on different things, almost alittle bit of a way of
rethinking.
But really this is also a goodway for somebody who feels

(00:50):
behind in this podcast to catchup.
But before we get into it, ourgoal with this podcast is to
share free, helpful tools withyou and anyone you know who's
looking to improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.

(01:10):
We've come a long way in this.
I think we just put out our 36thactual episode, not counting
our introduction episode, and Ithink it's easy for a lot of the
concepts that we've talkedabout to fall through the cracks
.
We started out talking aboutthings like courage and how

(01:30):
courage is not being fearless,but courage is about feeling
fear and doing it anyways, andbecause you have to feel fear to
be courageous, nobody else canknow whether you're being
courageous.
I mean, there are things thatobviously create fear and we can

(01:53):
assume that somebody is beingcourageous right and 90 plus
percent of the time we'reprobably going to be right there
.
But what is the purpose ofhaving courage?
Well, fear is one of the majorthings that prevents us from
taking action.

(02:14):
It's one of the major thingsthat prevents us from doing the
things that we need to do.
Now, there's many other reasons, but remember that fear is not
just fear of death.
It's fear of looking dumb, it'sfear of failing, it's fear of
success.
It can be fear of socialrepercussions.

(02:35):
Oftentimes, when we aren'ttaking action because we're
feeling a lack of of motivationor the feeling to do something
right, or fear is preventing usdespite our motivation.
Now, motivation is kind of atricky word to use here, because

(02:57):
our motivations drive us to doeverything.
We don't have to feel motivatedto eat delicious ice cream.
We are heavily, intrinsicallymotivated to do that because we
know it's going to be somethingthat we're going to enjoy, so it
doesn't take a lot of energy toget ourselves to do that.

(03:18):
What we're really talking aboutis this feeling of feeling
motivated?
For the sake of making iteasier to understand, I often
refer to it as feeling inspiredright?
When somebody is feelinginspired, they have that extra
motivation to do things, someextra willpower and effort, but

(03:43):
at the end of the day, it'sreally about taking action right
.
So what we're trying to do isoptimize for action Not every
action is a good action butoptimize for the actions that we
are trying to take.
Taking action using differenttricks, like the five-second

(04:04):
rule and reframing it as seeingaction as the success and the
outcomes as just learning byreducing the friction or forming
habits so that the actions areautomatic these are all ways of
just getting ourselves to takeaction, and courage happens to

(04:26):
be one of those.
Mustering up courage, which wehave to use willpower to
actually execute on our courageis another way to get ourselves
to do it.
Feeling more confident can alsohelp give us that inspiration
to feel motivated.
You can also utilize priming toput yourself in a good state,

(04:54):
which can lead to that feelingof inspiration.
Thinking about why it'simportant to us can do the same.
Giving ourselves deadlines sothat we feel time pressure there
are many different tips andtricks to get yourself to take
action and, as we talked aboutin the three tools episode,
there are also ways that you canreduce that friction by keeping
things simple so that you takeaction and so that your action

(05:16):
is more efficient.
By using the 80-20 principleand focusing on the 20% of
things that give you 80% ofresults in the situations where
that applies, which issurprisingly a lot of different
situations.
You can actually make youractions go further by using

(05:36):
Parkinson's law to compress yourtime frames.
Parkinson's law being a taskwill fill the amount of time you
give it.
It will expand to fill thattime, but if you compress it, it
will also contract to fill thattime.
So by using Parkinson's law andthe 80-20 principle, we can

(05:57):
become much more efficient inour actions.
And by keeping things simpleand by paring things down and
adding time pressure motivation,you are more likely to both
take action, because you've alsocut out a lot of the wasted
time.
We also talked about the paradoxof choice and how cutting down
your options or keeping itsimple and having one to four

(06:20):
options makes you much morelikely to make a decision.
This all ties into howconsistency is so vitally
important when it comes togetting results over time.
Getting yourself to take actionis incredibly important, but
getting yourself to take actionconsistently is much more

(06:44):
important.
It is what creates the slightedge that gives you a compound
effect in your life.
If you lift weights once amonth, you're not going to get
very far, even if you're notdoing it super effectively.
If you did it five days a week,you're going to get much more

(07:05):
results than one blowout hardday that you got yourself to
take action.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit, take action, build
discipline, build those supermuscles that actually help you
take more action, likediscipline, like courage, and
eventually build habits androutines or strings of habits,

(07:29):
so that more of it becomesautomatic and you have to use
less willpower to take action.
Another major thing that wetalked about was perspectives of
reality.
I went so hard on it during thetwo episodes split.
That was perspectives ofreality, but I honestly feel

(07:52):
like throughout this podcast Ihave under indexed on it
compared to the other corefundamentals, because it is
probably the most overarchingand I think that's why I sort of
have been taking it for grantedin this podcast, because as

(08:13):
long as you remember that, youkeep this within reason right
and you're not shaming yourselffor not being perfect with it or
shaming others for not beingperfect with it.
The ability to reframe or lookat situations from a different
perspective is so incrediblyinvaluable.
We are often caught up in thefeelings, the emotions, the

(08:38):
perspective that we are takingin that moment, but because of
the way that our brains work,that perspective is inherently
subjective.
It is based on all of thosefactors that I just said, and
there are many different ways tolook at the same thing.
There are many people who are ina much worse situation than you

(09:02):
are, and when we don't do this,when we don't regularly think
about our perspective of reality, we get trapped in our only one
way of looking at things,thinking about things, and it's
an easy way to get caught in thehedonic treadmill.
Now, david, what is the hedonictreadmill?

(09:23):
Well, it basically means thatwe adapt to the happiness and
the pleasures in our lives andthen they become normal, they
become just the standard andwe're no longer as thankful or
happy about them because ourhappiness set point has been put
higher.
So that just seems like thenormal, so it no longer has that

(09:46):
effect.
But by taking advantage of ourconscious perspective, we can be
grateful for things that wetake for granted every day, and
it's not always about beinggrateful, it's just about being
aware, letting ourselves behappy about them.
If you grew up with no airconditioning and then you get a

(10:08):
place with air conditioning fora while, you are just over the
moon about how much airconditioning has improved your
quality of life.
But then it becomes normal andyou don't really think about it,
despite the fact that it'sstill providing your life
objectively, that same measureof value.
And we do this in so many areasof our lives that we could get

(10:33):
so much fulfillment out of lifejust by shifting our perspective
regularly and, yes, mindfulnessbeing present, gratitude.
There are very helpfulperspectives that we can
automatically take, but justtaking that step back and taking
it in and seeing.

(10:54):
Step back and taking it in andseeing my God, there are so many
different things in my lifethat are wonderful that I didn't
used to have.
It's the biggest problem withstuff.
You buy something, you like it,and then it just becomes normal
, then it's just stuff.
Well, that's why minimalism isso powerful.

(11:16):
It removes all of the clutterof having stuff and I think that
there's some value to that forsure.
But I also think by justappreciating your stuff, just
appreciating the things in yourlife it's not always about
gratitude, just appreciation andacknowledgement, conscious

(11:37):
awareness we can makefundamental shifts to how much
value we get out of life.
And this sounds corny, right,but it is possibly the most
powerful thing you can do foryour life is possibly the most
powerful thing you can do foryour life.
Take control of your perspective.

(11:58):
Get in the driver's seat.
You don't have to view yourlife the way that you viewed
your life.
You can work through things.
You are changing and shiftingand growing, because here in
this podcast, we are lifelonglearners who are thinking in
shades of gray.
We're finding the balance,we're finding the nuance, and

(12:20):
that's why it's another corefundamental.
But it's that growth mindset,that being open, that allows us
to do the rethinking of things,that allows us to learn and
improve, instead of viewingourselves as a set point that we
can never get better.
That's a lie If you're tellingyourself that you are creating

(12:41):
that, but it doesn't have to bethat way.
Another core fundamental thatI've actually been talking about
a lot, because it comes up inmany of the topics that we've
been discussing is focusing onyour locus of control.
Now, I've been talking a lotabout how important it is to

(13:02):
focus on your locus and howgame-changing it is from an
efficiency and mental healthstandpoint.
However, most of the times it'scome up in recent podcasts,
it's been to reiterate howimportant it is to stop worrying
about the things that you haveno agency over, that you can't

(13:22):
control, and that isfundamentally so important
because it frees up so much ofyour life.
But it really is only half ofit.
It's not just an argument forapathy.
The other half arguably theoriginal half of where I got

(13:42):
this was not so much about thenot worrying part, which is huge
, but about putting your effortstowards the things that you can
control.
It's about taking action, usingdiscipline to take action in
the things that you can control.
It's about taking action, usingdiscipline, to take action in
the things that you can control.
It's about using yourmotivation, your inspiration,

(14:03):
your effort, your energy, yourwillpower on the things where
you can make a difference.
Focus on your locus.
That doesn't mean just ignorethe things outside of it.
It means take action, takeagency, take control of your
life.
You have the ability to controlmany things in your life and

(14:25):
often we lie to ourselves abouthow much it is.
One of the fundamental parts ofthis core fundamental is being
honest with yourself about howmuch control you really do have,
not blaming everything else andtaking a victim mindset.
It's taking control of yourlife, realizing that you have a

(14:51):
huge amount of agency, and onlyin the areas where you don't or
where you let go or where yougive yourself that freedom.
But the point of letting go ofthose things isn't always about
those things.
It's actually just a fuel whereyou do have control, and, of
course, we link that withperspective, because the number

(15:11):
one thing you have control overis your brain, your thinking,
your self-talk, your perspectiveand the way that you look at a
situation.
You can reframe things withyour conscious perspective, and
you can get there using youragency, your control over it,

(15:32):
with your locus of control.
I do want to point out, though,that approaching life with
curiosity, curiosity andcritical thinking so really
thinking through things, notjust accepting everything that
you hear is still a huge part ofthis lifelong learning in

(15:53):
Shades of Grey, and part of thatis rethinking things.
I also want to double down on acouple topics that I feel I
haven't re-brought up enough,despite how powerful they are.
Sleep Getting enough sleepaffects literally every topic

(16:13):
that I've talked about.
Anything you want to do, youwill do better if you've slept
enough.
Physically, mentally, socially,health-wise, it is the biggest
driver that you could use to doall of the things that we are
talking about here.
To do all of the things that weare talking about here, you are

(16:34):
more likely to take control ofyour conscious perspective.
If you've gotten enough sleep,you are more likely to focus on
your locus of control.
If you've gotten enough sleep,you are more likely to have
curiosity and critical thinkingand be a lifelong learner and
think in shades of gray ifyou've gotten enough sleep and
think in shades of gray ifyou've gotten enough sleep.
If you are a rechargeablebattery, sleep is the ultimate

(16:58):
way to fill up your inner cup.
Sleep recharges your battery ina way to be able to do all of
the things that you want to do,and if you're not getting good
sleep or you're not gettingenough sleep, I would strongly
advise you to re-look at that,because you are sabotaging
virtually every area of yourlife.

(17:19):
Take sleep seriously.
Another way to fill up our innercup is by meeting our six human
needs.
Everyone needs some level ofcertainty, and everyone also
needs some level of variety.
We need to use shades of grayto find a balance here and make

(17:42):
sure that we are getting ourneed for certainty met in
functional ways and that we'regetting our need for variety met
in functional ways instead ofways that are detrimental to our
life.
Meeting our needs in productiveways causes us to not pursue
unproductive, unhelpful,self-destructive ways of meeting

(18:05):
these same needs.
The second set is love, orconnection, and significance, or
respect.
We need to feel connected toother people, we need to feel
loved, and when we get that needmet, we are so much more filled
up inside.
And on the flip side of thatexact same coin, we want to feel

(18:28):
some form of significance.
We don't want to feel like wedon't matter.
We want to matter.
We want people to care, we wantpeople to like us.
We want to feel like we aremaking a difference.
We want to feel significant,and one of the best ways to get
significance is to be respected.

(18:50):
We have to find a balance andhelpful ways of meeting these
needs as well.
And then, finally, we have thehigher needs growth and
contribution.
We can find growth by learningand growing and improving
ourselves, and by listening tothis podcast, you're well on
your way to helping yourselfmeet this need.

(19:12):
But don't just stop there.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit and then last we have
contribution.
Contribution is possibly thehighest need and always gets
listed last in the six humanneeds, because it's not just the

(19:34):
self-actualization of growth,but it's like the actualization
of others.
It is our human, altruistic,moral part.
It is our ability to giveservice, to make a difference in
the world, and when you canmeet your need for contribution,
when you can do something thathelps others, you feel so much

(19:56):
more fulfilled.
Growth and contribution are theultimate fulfillers as far as
the needs go.
So if you're looking for morefulfillment in your life, pursue
growth and contribution.
Meeting our six human needskeeps us in balance so that we

(20:16):
can live our most effective life, and we can use many of the
other tools that we've discussedto achieve that.
Now, for the sake of not goingtoo all over the place, I think
we're going to wrap it up here.
We're going to wrap it up here.

(20:37):
I'm not trying to cram 36episodes of reflection and
insights into just one episode,so we'll have another one of
these where we go back andreflect on more of the episodes
that we've went through and putsome extra stress or
clarification where things needand just sort of flush it all
out and talk about how they allconnect like this.
I hope the things we talkedabout today were helpful and I

(21:01):
hope you got some value out ofre-drilling into some of the
topics that we've talked aboutin this podcast and remember you
are enough and you deserve tofill up your inner cup with

(21:27):
happiness, confidence andself-compassion.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad that you choose to learn
and grow here with me.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.

(21:52):
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.