January 21, 2025 • 38 mins
In this episode we discussed The 5 Core Fundamentals that were covered in previous episodes. We explore a revised approach to the Five Core Fundamentals, focusing on how personal growth and self-care are interconnected. By emphasizing the importance of filling up our inner cup with confidence, self-compassion, and lifelong learning, we empower listeners to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace. We discuss how curiosity and critical thinking, combines with thinking in shades of gray to become lifelong learning in shades of gray. Also, we add “life is like a muscle so build” it as the fifth core fundamental.
• Evolution of core fundamentals to enhance personal growth
• Emphasis on filling up your inner cup before pouring into others
• Integrating lifelong learning with critical thinking
• Recognizing the importance of self-compassion
• Discussing how the five core fundamentals play into each other and how to combine them
• Real-life application of core fundamentals for daily challenges
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is Anna Sage and mybrother, david Sage, is a
self-worth and confidence coachwith Sage Coaching Solutions.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Very nice job on the intro, anna.
Besides Anna, you also get meHannah, sage and David.
This week, david is going torecap his five core fundamentals
.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes, as they said, we're talking about the five
core fundamentals and my name isDavid Sage.
I am a self-worth andconfidence coach with Sage
Coaching Solutions and I am herewith my two co-hosts, anna and
Hannah.
So Hannah and Anna have been myco-hosts since the start of
(00:58):
this podcast, and each of themhas been the co-hosts
specifically for the episodeswhere I talked about the
concepts that they're referringto and that I've been referring
to as the five core fundamentals.
These are five core fundamentalperspectives that shape the way
that I view life, that shape alot of what we talk about in
(01:19):
this podcast and that shape mycoaching practice and that shape
my coaching practice.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
But before we get into it, our goal with this
podcast is to share free helpfultools with you and anyone you
know who is looking to improvetheir life.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So take action subscribe and share this podcast
with them.
Each fundamental had its ownepisode or episodes, if we had
to split it into two parts andwe discussed those individual
topics in depth.
The five core fundamentals are1.
(01:58):
Perspectives of reality.
2.
Thinking in shades of grayreality.
Two, thinking in shades of gray.
Three, focus on your locus ofcontrol.
Four, curiosity and criticalthinking.
And five everyone deservesconfidence and self-compassion.
(02:22):
The reason I really wanted tocover these five core
fundamentals was because I knewthat these were very important
topics to me and I knew that inorder for me to talk about
things the way that I wanted toon this podcast, I needed to
cover some of those concepts sothat I could refer to them
easily without having tore-explain them every time.
(02:46):
I also knew that these thingswere often the solution to a lot
of different problems.
It was one of the first thingsI thought about when I was
conceptualizing this podcast.
However, here we are over 25episodes in and throughout the
(03:09):
time of recording this podcast,I've done a lot of learning and
growing and reflecting, justlike the goal of this podcast
states, and, over that time,based on many different
conversations that I've had withboth of my co-hosts here and
with other people, as well asplenty of research and feedback
that I've gotten, I've decidedto use some of the essential
(03:31):
parts of the fourth corefundamental curiosity and
critical thinking and turn thoseback around on the five core
fundamentals.
On the five core fundamentals,upon using some intellectual
humility and rethinking orthinking again, by staying
(03:51):
curious, being a lifelonglearner and using some critical
thinking, I have re-evaluatedthe five core fundamentals and
come to the conclusion that theyneed a little bit of tweaking.
So right here, right now, I amunveiling the second version,
version 2.0, of the five corefundamentals.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
David, I just want to take a second to commend you
for being open to changing yourmind.
I know a lot of times formyself and a lot of other people
listening, that once you getstuck on something and they
become a big part of you, theybecome a fundamental of who you
are.
It's very hard to change yourmind and to add to those
(04:39):
fundamentals.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Absolutely, I agree.
This reminds me a lot of one ofmy favorite personal growth and
development books, think Againby Adam Grant, and if you
haven't read that book already,it just explores the value of
keeping yourself open torethinking, because once you
shut yourself off from that, youlimit the amount of growth that
(05:02):
you can make and you get stuckin what you think right now.
And I really appreciate, david,that you're modeling by example
, through revisiting these corefundamentals, the value of
rethinking and growing.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I've really appreciated recording especially
the core fundamental episodeswith the two of you, recording
especially the core fundamentalepisodes with the two of you.
There's nobody else I'd ratherbe recording these episodes with
.
These are very importantepisodes to me and so it's been
very meaningful to have verymeaningful people recording them
(05:41):
with me.
I think the insights and thequestions that you've brought to
these topics have helped meeven understand each of these
topics on a better level than Idid, and I was the one
presenting them in the firstplace, and I think for each
episode that I do on thispodcast, they're generally
(06:03):
topics that I have a good graspon, but directly teaching the
individual concept and doing theresearch and some of the things
to make them fully fleshed outepisodes has grown my
understanding, and one of thebest ways to learn is to teach.
So, honestly, I am also justvery grateful for what this
(06:29):
podcast is doing for me and formy life and hopefully helping
other people in their lives.
So when I took a look at thefive core fundamentals, they're
all very strong.
To be clear, I'm not going backon anything I said in any of
those episodes and I stillpretty much believe all of those
(06:50):
concepts are incredibly,incredibly important.
What I'm mostly doing here is alittle bit of tweaking to make
them fit better.
The first thing that I reallynoticed as I was going through
this, and the more that I'vethought about it, is that
separating curiosity andcritical thinking from thinking
(07:11):
in shades of gray is almostimpossible to do if you're doing
them both right.
The longer that I took to thinkabout this, the more innately
linked I realize that theseconcepts are, and so, after a
bunch of discussion andcontemplation, I've decided to
(07:31):
fuse or combine these twofundamentals into one new core
fundamental that I'm going to becalling lifelong learning in
shades of gray.
And then, of course, we do thisusing curiosity and critical
thinking.
The next tweak that I'm makingto the five core fundamentals is
(07:55):
really a rounding out of mylast core fundamental.
Confidence is incrediblyimportant, self-compassion also
incredibly important.
But what are they reallygetting at?
What is the purpose of havingconfidence, of having
self-compassion?
They're to take care ofyourself.
(08:16):
They're to make you feel good.
They're to help you live a morefulfilling and meaningful life.
They're to help you live a morefulfilling and meaningful life
Really, at the end of the day,what I'm advocating for and what
the core fundamental reallyshould be about is filling up
your inner cup.
Filling up your cup so that youcan pour into others, so that
(08:40):
you can pour into the importantthings or people in your life.
And we do this throughconfidence, we do this through
self-compassion, we do thisthrough happiness psychology and
positive psychology.
We do it by getting our sixhuman needs met, by being kind
(09:02):
and compassionate to otherpeople, by forming good,
fulfilling relationships andusing empathy, gratitude,
forgiveness and mindfulness.
At the end of the day, you haveto fill up your cup before you
can pour into your life.
So my new core fundamental isthat everyone deserves to fill
up their cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
(09:25):
So if we recount these, we nowhave your perspective of reality
shapes your experience ofreality.
Number one.
Number two lifelong learning inshades of gray through
curiosity and critical thinking.
Number three focus on yourlocus of control.
(09:46):
Stop worrying about the thingsthat you can't control and start
focusing on the things that youcan.
Our new and improved version ofnumber four everyone deserves
to fill up their inner cup withhappiness, confidence and
self-compassion.
But that's only four.
(10:06):
Because we combined two corefundamentals, it leaves room for
a fifth and I can't think of abetter fifth core fundamental
than what I was just referringto as the secret.
Sixth Life is like a muscle, sobuild it.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit.
Become a bodybuilder of yourlife.
(10:28):
Every skill, every trait,anything that you want to work
on in life is built like amuscle, and we talked about this
in depth in last week's episode.
That is the new fifth corefundamental.
And when you combine all ofthese concepts, this is where we
(10:56):
really see the true power ofthe five core fundamentals.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I really like the way that you rephrased the
fundamental about confidence andself-compassion.
Remind me again of the wordingthat you used.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Everyone deserves to fill up their inner cup, and
then, of course, each of thesehas sort of a short form and a
long form.
The reason that I do it thatway is so that you have a quick
way of reminding yourself, likefocus on your locus right or
focus on your locus of control,so that you don't have to say
the entire sentence every singletime.
(11:29):
Focus on your locus of control,stop worrying about you know
what I mean.
Like there's an expandedversion of each of these and the
like.
Quick form title version.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, right, the kind that you use in the moment
when you need that reminder mostRight.
It made me think of a metaphorthat had been shared with me
that I think is very powerfuland related to that same
fundamental, and that's themetaphor of the reservoir.
So when you think of areservoir, it retains water that
(12:02):
it receives and it doesn'toverflow until it has enough
water filled up within itselffirst.
So, just like a reservoir, weshould fill ourselves first and
then give from our overflow,instead of giving from what we
need and burning ourselves outor depleting ourselves of what
(12:23):
we need first.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Right, and this isn't an argument to be selfish.
I'm not saying only think aboutyourself or do things for your
betterment, even if they hurtother people.
That's really not what I'madvocating for at all.
I think people have taken theblack and white stance that
doing anything for yourself isselfish, and that's just simply
(12:49):
not true.
People who take care ofthemselves, people who are happy
, who have confidence, those arethe people that actually make a
greater difference in the livesof other people.
You have to fill up your cup ifyou're going to make a
difference, if you're going tobe able to pour into anything in
your life, whether it's aperson, a hobby or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Absolutely, and I think the key here that I was
trying to convey is that, inorder for you to flourish and to
become a better version of whoyou are, it's really important
to both receive what you needand give that to yourself, as
well as to give to others onceyou have what you need.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, couldn't agree more.
I mean, I think we are totallyon the same page here with this
one.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Filling up your cup resonated with me as well.
In a little context.
I have a very hard time givingmyself what I need before giving
other people what they need.
I tend to over-take care ofpeople to the point where I tend
(14:01):
to develop some bitterness andfeeling resentful.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Is that what you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That might be too strong a word, maybe more like
an annoyance because you'refeeling depleted yeah, I feel
irritated and then I feel likeno one's looking after me, and
so then I tend to go inward andI'm like, well, no one's looking
after me, I here, I go againlooking after everyone else.
So then, yeah, I think it iskind of like a bitterness and a
(14:33):
little bit of an annoyance.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
And obviously that's not all of the time.
You're more talking about whenyou're doing it, when you're
feeling depleted, when youaren't feeling taken care of.
It can make it A a lot harderto take care of other people.
But B like you said, it canfoster that sort of annoyance,
irritation.
But B like you said, it canfoster that sort of annoyance,
irritation Even if you let it gotoo much, too long.
(15:00):
It can get to like resentment.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right, exactly, and I think that's just something
that I've developed and learned,and it's hard to relearn how to
fill up your cup Because, likeI said, I've always poured the
water outside of my cup and then, if there's a little bit left
over, maybe it happens to get inmy cup.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
So do you feel like pouring into your cup is selfish
?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yes, I know it's not, and I know I have to in order
to be able to wholeheartedly,truly, take care of other people
.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
But, yes, that is something that I do,
unfortunately, believe.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
So at this point you're saying intellectually,
you're aware that it's percentof myself, because if I didn't,
it was even worse of a day whenyour cup is so empty that you
try pouring it and nothing comesout.
It's actually more harmful thanif you stepped back and allowed
your cup to refill somewhat sothat you have more value to
(16:26):
provide and give after.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And it's also important to remember that
people that truly love and careabout you would want that for
you as well.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
But it's also valid that that's very hard, because I
get that there was constantlypressure and teaching of like
you know it's not about you.
You're there for the kids,you're there to help them learn
and grow and make sure they'reokay.
But you know you just can't dothat unless you're okay first.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The thing is, service , contribution and taking care
of other people is actually,paradoxically often one of the
things that helps fill up yourcup Right the things that helps
(17:21):
fill up your cup right.
But don't think about your cup,as you can fill it all up with
one type of liquid.
Your cup has differentcompartments one that you need
some confidence, one that getsfilled up by having self-worth.
Another that gets filled up bybeing kind to other people.
Another that gets filled up bybeing kind to other people.
Another that gets filled up byhaving good social relationships
.
It is a complex,multi-compartment cup and you
(17:44):
can't just fill it up by pouringinto other people.
But sometimes the reason thatyour cup isn't getting filled is
actually because you're notdoing anything for anyone else.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So what you're saying is, I can have my coffee and my
orange juice and your water andyour milk and my chocolate milk
.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Keep them in separate compartments though, because if
you mix all of those in onearea, it's going to be really
gross.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well, and another area that I think you're really
making me do a lot of thinkingon this right now, david,
another area that you can'tneglect in your own cup, beyond
the personal growth, emotional,social aspects, is your physical
needs.
Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you eating healthy andnourishing your body sleep?
(18:39):
Are you eating healthy andnourishing your body?
Are you physically drinkingenough water?
Because those things impactyour ability to show up and give
too.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, I mean, being healthy is a part of self-care,
but also you brought up physicalneeds, but the psychological
needs, like the six human needsthat we talked about in a
different episode, checking inwith yourself.
If you're struggling in thosedifferent six needs, it's also
going to be harder to fill upyour cup enough to do it.
(19:04):
Now, the one place that I willchallenge while it sounds so
nice in the wording of you haveto fill up your cup before you
can pour into others, I love thereservoir.
I think there's so much good inthat analogy, but I do think
(19:24):
that it makes it sound like youhave to be overflowing to pour,
and I think in real life itdoesn't always work out like
that.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I agree, I think realistically sometimes you're
going to pour from a half-filledcup, but I think the idea of
you have to have something firstbefore you can give something
is what's so powerful about thatimage, and I really feel like
I'm living that Now that I'm ina different position and I'm
working as a readinginterventionist and I have
(19:56):
enough time and space in my lifeto really take care of myself
outside of work and not have acrazy workload, I feel so
fulfilled from my work insteadof depleted from it.
And that's the difference is,I'm taking care of myself now.
Am I always 100% walking intowork?
No, because there's stillstressors, there's still things
(20:17):
that need my attention and needme to give to them beyond to the
kids.
So I don't always have acompletely full cup, but I never
have an empty one either.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I want to pivot here for a second and talk about the
other one that I changed a bit.
Talk about the other one that Ichanged a bit.
Lifelong learning in shades ofgray is really about keeping
that wisdom that you gain fromage and the wonder that you have
from childhood.
It is still about curiosity andhow that combines with critical
(20:52):
thinking.
I just think that thinking inshades of gray is one of the
biggest parts of criticalthinking.
If you think that thinking inshades of gray is one of the
biggest parts of criticalthinking, if you're not thinking
in shades of gray, you arelikely not thinking very
critically.
Critical thinking requiresconsulting with shades of gray
and figuring out where on thescale it is, or occasionally
(21:15):
figuring out if it's a differentcolor entirely.
To me, thinking in shades ofgray is one of the biggest parts
of the critical thinking sideof curiosity and critical
thinking, and the curiosity iswhat fuels you to do them.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
We were just applying all of those things in our
discussion about the reservoirright.
We were just applying all ofthose things in our discussion
about the reservoir right.
We were thinking about theshades of gray there in terms of
you can't always have a veryfull cup.
That's not realistic at alltimes in life, approaching with
(22:00):
curiosity of what circumstancescould this maybe not always
apply or apply perfectly, andthink critically to be able to
determine those shades of gray,would you agree?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, and I am actually going to use this as a
really good way to transitioninto how we combine the five
core fundamentals, how they cometogether.
We just talked about how usingcuriosity and critical thinking
has important implications onfilling up your inner cup, but
(22:31):
what about the rest of them?
The first fundamental is thatyour perspective of reality
shapes your experience ofreality.
Reality is reality.
It is objective and real, butthe perspective that you take
(22:51):
dramatically changes the waythat you experience that same
reality.
Two different people can havetwo totally different
perspectives and experience theexact same event totally
different ways.
Perspectives of reality is thefirst fundamental, and the other
four fundamentals are allactually just perspectives.
(23:13):
Curiosity is required forlearning and growing.
Confidence and self-compassionsupercharge our life and provide
a basis for the otherfundamentals and the fuel for a
good life, which is why we haveto fill up our cup before we can
pour into the others Shades ofgray thinking provides the
(23:37):
balance necessary forefficiently using the other
fundamentals as well as allother personal development.
Critical thinking is necessaryfor using shades of gray and
figuring out all of thedifferent shades that come with
it.
Perspectives are the foundationof how we experience life and
(23:57):
using it is necessary to focuson your locus of control.
Focusing on your locus is allabout getting more agency, and
the greatest agency we have inour locus is our conscious
perspective.
Is our conscious perspective Ifwe start by filling up our cup,
(24:26):
which some of the best ways todo that include taking control
of our conscious perspective.
If your perspective shapes yourexperience, then it has a huge
impact on how you feel.
If you can take the samesituation and feel grateful,
you're more likely to fill upyour cup, given the exact same
situation.
And if your cup is much morefull your inner cup then you're
(24:51):
much more likely to actuallyhave the reservoirs to take
control of that perspective.
When you combine taking controlof your perspective with having
confidence and self-compassionand, overall, a sense of
fulfillment and happiness, youhave dramatically changed how
(25:14):
much power you have over yourown life.
You now have the fuel and thefull cup and the perspective to
deal with anything that comesyour way.
We now use our consciousperspective to focus on our
locus of control.
When other people are upsettingus, when other people are doing
things we don't like, we letthem.
(25:36):
We let go the freedom and thefeeling that comes from letting
go of things you can't controland not worrying gives us so
much power and helps us fill upthat cup.
At the same time, by focusingon the things that we can
control, we're getting so muchmore accomplished.
(25:56):
And, of course, like I saidbefore, one of the main things
that we can control is ourconscious perspective.
Now we move on to the two thatare the biggest factors in
growing, learning and changingover time Lifelong learning in
shades of gray.
The biggest counterbalances ofthe entire core fundamentals
(26:19):
have got to be filling up yourcup, specifically the
self-compassion part of it, andthinking in shades of gray.
It's very easy to take anythingtoo far, to go way too black
and white.
Often, shades of gray is thebalance and the flexibility that
(26:40):
we need to not take things toofar and in many situations, if
you don't do something perfect,if you forget to use one of
these things, self-compassion isthe answer.
Self-compassion is one of thebiggest balancing forces of this
entire thing and it is a hugecompartment in the filling up of
(27:02):
your cup.
Shades of gray is what helps uskeep any given personal
development or fundamentalwithin reason.
It helps us not take it too farand be overly regimented or over
the top with it and bycontinuing to learn and grow and
(27:24):
have intellectual humility, bybeing curious but still
critically thinking.
Through our problems and throughnew information that you get in
shades of gray, we're going tobe learning and growing at a
rate that is like a multiplier.
You're open, you're curious,you have a growth mindset.
(27:46):
You're using words like yet Iam not there yet, and that
growth mindset that comes fromlifelong learning is going to be
a huge factor in treating yourlife like a muscle and building
it.
Being curious about a new skilltrait, something that we want
(28:07):
to get better at, is a big partof the fuel that's going to
drive you to actually build thatmuscle, to use some grit, some
discipline, to build a habit andto continue to do whatever it
is that you want to do so thatyou can build your life into the
life that you want, which isreally a huge part of what this
(28:30):
podcast is all about Lifelonglearning and building your life
like a muscle.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Awesome.
So that's a ton of really goodinformation and it's a lot to
wrap my head around.
David, could you give me almostlike a SparkNotes version or
kind of like a summary ofeverything that you had just?
Speaker 3 (28:54):
said, everyone deserves to fill up their inner
cup.
By filling up your inner cup,you're in such a better place to
actually do these other corefundamentals.
You are so much more likely tofocus on your locus, take
control of your perspective ofreality critically, think or
(29:25):
think in shades of gray or buildthat muscle of whatever you're
trying to build in your life.
If you focus on your locus ofcontrol, you are freeing up so
much of your mental andemotional space that it's going
to be so much easier to havecuriosity, to think critically,
to think in shades of gray.
It's going to be so much easierto take control of your
(29:47):
conscious perspective,especially because that is
something in your control.
It's going to be easier tobuild that muscle because you're
not worrying about all of thesethings that are out of your
control.
Instead, you're focusing on thethings that are in your control
, like building a skill, like amuscle, or doing things to take
(30:10):
care of yourself, to fill upyour cup.
Lifelong learning in shades ofgray means that you have the
intellectual humility to learnall of these different things.
It means that you're curiousenough to dive into them and be
open to these new concepts.
(30:31):
It means that you're stillcritically thinking and not just
blindly accepting everythingthat I say and making sure that
it makes sense to you first, andit means that you're viewing
these as shades of gray andrealizing that these aren't
applicable in literally everysituation or that they can be
taken too far.
(30:52):
Sometimes you're going to worryabout things that you can't
control.
If you take a total black andwhite view, you're going to be
beating yourself up over that.
Sometimes you're not going tobe able to take control of your
conscious perspective.
We're all human.
That's not always going to workthat way.
There are times where you'regoing to let a muscle fatigue
(31:17):
even though you wanted to bebuilding it, and it's also
impossible to build every muscleof your life at the same time.
It's not that black and white,just like we talked about.
Filling up your cup also meansthat sometimes you have to pour
into other things, even whenit's not fully full, because
(31:39):
real life doesn't work that way.
You're not always going to havea full cup when you have things
that you need to do.
By taking control of yourconscious perspective and
understanding that yourperspective of reality shapes
your experience of reality, youcan take a helpful perspective.
(31:59):
And, frankly, each of theseother core fundamentals are just
helpful perspectives.
I don't really have to go intothis one, because applying any
of these other fundamentals arejust helpful conscious
perspectives to be takingtowards your life.
And lastly, each of thesedifferent concepts focusing on
(32:25):
your locus, perspectives ofreality, lifelong learning in
shades of gray and filling upyour cup.
These are all skills, skillsthat we build like a muscle.
The more you do them, the moreyou think about them.
The more you do them, the moreyou think about them.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
the more you work on them, the more you apply them,
the stronger these fundamentalmuscles will become.
I'm going to pull up a veryreal-life situation that happens
to me occasionally on my way towork and I think it's very
universally known.
A lot of people have dealt withthis situation or something
very similar.
But say this you're lategetting to work or you're late
(33:11):
getting to a meeting.
You know you're running late.
They're waiting for you.
You're driving along and aschool bus pulls out in front of
you and they end up stoppingevery block and a half to pick
up or drop off kids.
How would you handle thisscenario?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
How would the five core fundamentals apply here for
you to be able to approach thisin a helpful way, because I'm
usually fuming?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
at this point.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Okay, so I'm late and now I'm stuck behind a school
bus.
This is a crappy situation.
First, I'm going to probablytake a minute for myself, so
this would probably be fallingunder fill up your cup.
So I would be taking themindful approach and just giving
myself a minute to feel thatemotion.
Then, once I've given myselfenough time to feel that emotion
, I'm going to take stock of thesituation that I'm in and focus
on my locus of control.
I can't control that school bus.
I don't feasibly really have away to make myself not late.
There's nothing.
I can't control that school bus.
I don't feasibly really have away to make myself not late.
(34:24):
There's nothing I can do aboutit.
I can let myself just spiral ordwell on it or fume and just
get angrier and angrier, like alot of people do when they're
behind the wheel, because roadrage is prevalent but also very
easy to fall into.
Or I can accept the situationfor how it is, let go of what I
(34:50):
can't control and start takingcontrol of what I can.
One of the first things that Ican take control of is my
conscious perspective.
This is not the end of theworld.
I'm not dying Objectively.
Yeah, being late sucks, but Icould be in a much worse
situation and I don't need tolet this ruin my day.
(35:11):
Like I talked about in thePerspectives of Reality episode,
traffic can be irritating, butif there's ever been a time that
you've been in traffic that youweren't irritated, but if
there's ever been a time thatyou've been in traffic that you
weren't irritated, it means thatit's possible to not be
irritated in traffic.
The same logic applies here.
I've had times where I wasn'tirritated from being behind a
(35:32):
bus.
I listened to a podcast orlistened to some music.
I have agency here and I canchoose to use it.
So I'm going to take control ofmy conscious perspective and
start focusing on the thingsthat I can do.
I can call in and say, hey, I'mgoing to be late, try and
(35:53):
explain the situation to try andmitigate some of the damage of
being late.
I can see if there's anotherroute I can take using my GPS
and go around the school bus oranother way if it's going to end
up actually being faster, evenif it's a little bit longer.
So that's kind of the focus onyour locus part of it.
(36:13):
If I've already done somefilling up of my cup, I'm going
to be able to handle thissituation a lot better If I have
some self-esteem, someself-worth and some confidence.
I'm going to be able to handlethe upset of this more, and it's
easy to get angry at myself forbeing late in the first place.
(36:35):
There's two different things Ican do here.
I can use the lifelong learningto reflect and think about how
I can do things differently fornext time, and I can give myself
some compassion and say look,it happens to everyone sometime.
Shaming myself isn't going tobe a great motivator for the
next time, so instead I'm goingto give myself some kindness.
(36:57):
And then, lastly, maybe I needto focus on building the muscle
of timeliness, building themuscle of the trait of
punctuality, or working on mytime management and viewing this
as just because I am late inthis situation doesn't mean I am
always late as a person.
(37:18):
It's not that black and white,not that black and white.
In almost any situation, we canapply many, if not all, of
these core fundamentals in a waythat empowers us so much more
than if we didn't Awesome.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
So if you're somebody who's listening to this on your
commute, like I often do, keepthese things in mind.
Road rage who's she Not anymore?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
with the five core fundamentals.
Hey, this isn't a miracle pillor a silver bullet.
Well, thank you for joining mefor today's episode about the
five core fundamentals version2.0.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Thanks for having us.
As always, it's a pleasure.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Your time is valuable and we're so glad you choose to
learn and grow here with us.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
We'd love to hear your feedback, so click the link
in the description and let usknow what you think.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
If you haven't already, don't forget to
subscribe, so you don't miss outon more.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(38:49):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is Anna Sage and mybrother, david Sage, is a
self-worth and confidence coachwith Sage Coaching Solutions.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Very nice job on the intro, anna.
Besides Anna, you also get meHannah, sage and David.
This week, david is going torecap his five core fundamentals
.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes, as they said, we're talking about the five
core fundamentals and my name isDavid Sage.
I am a self-worth andconfidence coach with Sage
Coaching Solutions and I am herewith my two co-hosts, anna and
Hannah.
So Hannah and Anna have been myco-hosts since the start of
(00:58):
this podcast, and each of themhas been the co-hosts
specifically for the episodeswhere I talked about the
concepts that they're referringto and that I've been referring
to as the five core fundamentals.
These are five core fundamentalperspectives that shape the way
that I view life, that shape alot of what we talk about in
(01:19):
this podcast and that shape mycoaching practice and that shape
my coaching practice.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
But before we get into it, our goal with this
podcast is to share free helpfultools with you and anyone you
know who is looking to improvetheir life.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So take action subscribe and share this podcast
with them.
Each fundamental had its ownepisode or episodes, if we had
to split it into two parts andwe discussed those individual
topics in depth.
The five core fundamentals are1.
(01:58):
Perspectives of reality.
2.
Thinking in shades of grayreality.
Two, thinking in shades of gray.
Three, focus on your locus ofcontrol.
Four, curiosity and criticalthinking.
And five everyone deservesconfidence and self-compassion.
(02:22):
The reason I really wanted tocover these five core
fundamentals was because I knewthat these were very important
topics to me and I knew that inorder for me to talk about
things the way that I wanted toon this podcast, I needed to
cover some of those concepts sothat I could refer to them
easily without having tore-explain them every time.
(02:46):
I also knew that these thingswere often the solution to a lot
of different problems.
It was one of the first thingsI thought about when I was
conceptualizing this podcast.
However, here we are over 25episodes in and throughout the
(03:09):
time of recording this podcast,I've done a lot of learning and
growing and reflecting, justlike the goal of this podcast
states, and, over that time,based on many different
conversations that I've had withboth of my co-hosts here and
with other people, as well asplenty of research and feedback
that I've gotten, I've decidedto use some of the essential
(03:31):
parts of the fourth corefundamental curiosity and
critical thinking and turn thoseback around on the five core
fundamentals.
On the five core fundamentals,upon using some intellectual
humility and rethinking orthinking again, by staying
(03:51):
curious, being a lifelonglearner and using some critical
thinking, I have re-evaluatedthe five core fundamentals and
come to the conclusion that theyneed a little bit of tweaking.
So right here, right now, I amunveiling the second version,
version 2.0, of the five corefundamentals.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
David, I just want to take a second to commend you
for being open to changing yourmind.
I know a lot of times formyself and a lot of other people
listening, that once you getstuck on something and they
become a big part of you, theybecome a fundamental of who you
are.
It's very hard to change yourmind and to add to those
(04:39):
fundamentals.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Absolutely, I agree.
This reminds me a lot of one ofmy favorite personal growth and
development books, think Againby Adam Grant, and if you
haven't read that book already,it just explores the value of
keeping yourself open torethinking, because once you
shut yourself off from that, youlimit the amount of growth that
(05:02):
you can make and you get stuckin what you think right now.
And I really appreciate, david,that you're modeling by example
, through revisiting these corefundamentals, the value of
rethinking and growing.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I've really appreciated recording especially
the core fundamental episodeswith the two of you, recording
especially the core fundamentalepisodes with the two of you.
There's nobody else I'd ratherbe recording these episodes with
.
These are very importantepisodes to me and so it's been
very meaningful to have verymeaningful people recording them
(05:41):
with me.
I think the insights and thequestions that you've brought to
these topics have helped meeven understand each of these
topics on a better level than Idid, and I was the one
presenting them in the firstplace, and I think for each
episode that I do on thispodcast, they're generally
(06:03):
topics that I have a good graspon, but directly teaching the
individual concept and doing theresearch and some of the things
to make them fully fleshed outepisodes has grown my
understanding, and one of thebest ways to learn is to teach.
So, honestly, I am also justvery grateful for what this
(06:29):
podcast is doing for me and formy life and hopefully helping
other people in their lives.
So when I took a look at thefive core fundamentals, they're
all very strong.
To be clear, I'm not going backon anything I said in any of
those episodes and I stillpretty much believe all of those
(06:50):
concepts are incredibly,incredibly important.
What I'm mostly doing here is alittle bit of tweaking to make
them fit better.
The first thing that I reallynoticed as I was going through
this, and the more that I'vethought about it, is that
separating curiosity andcritical thinking from thinking
(07:11):
in shades of gray is almostimpossible to do if you're doing
them both right.
The longer that I took to thinkabout this, the more innately
linked I realize that theseconcepts are, and so, after a
bunch of discussion andcontemplation, I've decided to
(07:31):
fuse or combine these twofundamentals into one new core
fundamental that I'm going to becalling lifelong learning in
shades of gray.
And then, of course, we do thisusing curiosity and critical
thinking.
The next tweak that I'm makingto the five core fundamentals is
(07:55):
really a rounding out of mylast core fundamental.
Confidence is incrediblyimportant, self-compassion also
incredibly important.
But what are they reallygetting at?
What is the purpose of havingconfidence, of having
self-compassion?
They're to take care ofyourself.
(08:16):
They're to make you feel good.
They're to help you live a morefulfilling and meaningful life.
They're to help you live a morefulfilling and meaningful life
Really, at the end of the day,what I'm advocating for and what
the core fundamental reallyshould be about is filling up
your inner cup.
Filling up your cup so that youcan pour into others, so that
(08:40):
you can pour into the importantthings or people in your life.
And we do this throughconfidence, we do this through
self-compassion, we do thisthrough happiness psychology and
positive psychology.
We do it by getting our sixhuman needs met, by being kind
(09:02):
and compassionate to otherpeople, by forming good,
fulfilling relationships andusing empathy, gratitude,
forgiveness and mindfulness.
At the end of the day, you haveto fill up your cup before you
can pour into your life.
So my new core fundamental isthat everyone deserves to fill
up their cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
(09:25):
So if we recount these, we nowhave your perspective of reality
shapes your experience ofreality.
Number one.
Number two lifelong learning inshades of gray through
curiosity and critical thinking.
Number three focus on yourlocus of control.
(09:46):
Stop worrying about the thingsthat you can't control and start
focusing on the things that youcan.
Our new and improved version ofnumber four everyone deserves
to fill up their inner cup withhappiness, confidence and
self-compassion.
But that's only four.
(10:06):
Because we combined two corefundamentals, it leaves room for
a fifth and I can't think of abetter fifth core fundamental
than what I was just referringto as the secret.
Sixth Life is like a muscle, sobuild it.
Life is like a muscle, so buildit.
Become a bodybuilder of yourlife.
(10:28):
Every skill, every trait,anything that you want to work
on in life is built like amuscle, and we talked about this
in depth in last week's episode.
That is the new fifth corefundamental.
And when you combine all ofthese concepts, this is where we
(10:56):
really see the true power ofthe five core fundamentals.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I really like the way that you rephrased the
fundamental about confidence andself-compassion.
Remind me again of the wordingthat you used.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Everyone deserves to fill up their inner cup, and
then, of course, each of thesehas sort of a short form and a
long form.
The reason that I do it thatway is so that you have a quick
way of reminding yourself, likefocus on your locus right or
focus on your locus of control,so that you don't have to say
the entire sentence every singletime.
(11:29):
Focus on your locus of control,stop worrying about you know
what I mean.
Like there's an expandedversion of each of these and the
like.
Quick form title version.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, right, the kind that you use in the moment
when you need that reminder mostRight.
It made me think of a metaphorthat had been shared with me
that I think is very powerfuland related to that same
fundamental, and that's themetaphor of the reservoir.
So when you think of areservoir, it retains water that
(12:02):
it receives and it doesn'toverflow until it has enough
water filled up within itselffirst.
So, just like a reservoir, weshould fill ourselves first and
then give from our overflow,instead of giving from what we
need and burning ourselves outor depleting ourselves of what
(12:23):
we need first.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Right, and this isn't an argument to be selfish.
I'm not saying only think aboutyourself or do things for your
betterment, even if they hurtother people.
That's really not what I'madvocating for at all.
I think people have taken theblack and white stance that
doing anything for yourself isselfish, and that's just simply
(12:49):
not true.
People who take care ofthemselves, people who are happy
, who have confidence, those arethe people that actually make a
greater difference in the livesof other people.
You have to fill up your cup ifyou're going to make a
difference, if you're going tobe able to pour into anything in
your life, whether it's aperson, a hobby or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Absolutely, and I think the key here that I was
trying to convey is that, inorder for you to flourish and to
become a better version of whoyou are, it's really important
to both receive what you needand give that to yourself, as
well as to give to others onceyou have what you need.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, couldn't agree more.
I mean, I think we are totallyon the same page here with this
one.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Filling up your cup resonated with me as well.
In a little context.
I have a very hard time givingmyself what I need before giving
other people what they need.
I tend to over-take care ofpeople to the point where I tend
(14:01):
to develop some bitterness andfeeling resentful.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Is that what you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That might be too strong a word, maybe more like
an annoyance because you'refeeling depleted yeah, I feel
irritated and then I feel likeno one's looking after me, and
so then I tend to go inward andI'm like, well, no one's looking
after me, I here, I go againlooking after everyone else.
So then, yeah, I think it iskind of like a bitterness and a
(14:33):
little bit of an annoyance.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
And obviously that's not all of the time.
You're more talking about whenyou're doing it, when you're
feeling depleted, when youaren't feeling taken care of.
It can make it A a lot harderto take care of other people.
But B like you said, it canfoster that sort of annoyance,
irritation.
But B like you said, it canfoster that sort of annoyance,
irritation Even if you let it gotoo much, too long.
(15:00):
It can get to like resentment.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right, exactly, and I think that's just something
that I've developed and learned,and it's hard to relearn how to
fill up your cup Because, likeI said, I've always poured the
water outside of my cup and then, if there's a little bit left
over, maybe it happens to get inmy cup.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
So do you feel like pouring into your cup is selfish
?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yes, I know it's not, and I know I have to in order
to be able to wholeheartedly,truly, take care of other people
.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
But, yes, that is something that I do,
unfortunately, believe.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
So at this point you're saying intellectually,
you're aware that it's percentof myself, because if I didn't,
it was even worse of a day whenyour cup is so empty that you
try pouring it and nothing comesout.
It's actually more harmful thanif you stepped back and allowed
your cup to refill somewhat sothat you have more value to
(16:26):
provide and give after.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And it's also important to remember that
people that truly love and careabout you would want that for
you as well.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
But it's also valid that that's very hard, because I
get that there was constantlypressure and teaching of like
you know it's not about you.
You're there for the kids,you're there to help them learn
and grow and make sure they'reokay.
But you know you just can't dothat unless you're okay first.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The thing is, service , contribution and taking care
of other people is actually,paradoxically often one of the
things that helps fill up yourcup Right the things that helps
(17:21):
fill up your cup right.
But don't think about your cup,as you can fill it all up with
one type of liquid.
Your cup has differentcompartments one that you need
some confidence, one that getsfilled up by having self-worth.
Another that gets filled up bybeing kind to other people.
Another that gets filled up bybeing kind to other people.
Another that gets filled up byhaving good social relationships
.
It is a complex,multi-compartment cup and you
(17:44):
can't just fill it up by pouringinto other people.
But sometimes the reason thatyour cup isn't getting filled is
actually because you're notdoing anything for anyone else.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So what you're saying is, I can have my coffee and my
orange juice and your water andyour milk and my chocolate milk
.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Keep them in separate compartments though, because if
you mix all of those in onearea, it's going to be really
gross.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well, and another area that I think you're really
making me do a lot of thinkingon this right now, david,
another area that you can'tneglect in your own cup, beyond
the personal growth, emotional,social aspects, is your physical
needs.
Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you eating healthy andnourishing your body sleep?
(18:39):
Are you eating healthy andnourishing your body?
Are you physically drinkingenough water?
Because those things impactyour ability to show up and give
too.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, I mean, being healthy is a part of self-care,
but also you brought up physicalneeds, but the psychological
needs, like the six human needsthat we talked about in a
different episode, checking inwith yourself.
If you're struggling in thosedifferent six needs, it's also
going to be harder to fill upyour cup enough to do it.
(19:04):
Now, the one place that I willchallenge while it sounds so
nice in the wording of you haveto fill up your cup before you
can pour into others, I love thereservoir.
I think there's so much good inthat analogy, but I do think
(19:24):
that it makes it sound like youhave to be overflowing to pour,
and I think in real life itdoesn't always work out like
that.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
I agree, I think realistically sometimes you're
going to pour from a half-filledcup, but I think the idea of
you have to have something firstbefore you can give something
is what's so powerful about thatimage, and I really feel like
I'm living that Now that I'm ina different position and I'm
working as a readinginterventionist and I have
(19:56):
enough time and space in my lifeto really take care of myself
outside of work and not have acrazy workload, I feel so
fulfilled from my work insteadof depleted from it.
And that's the difference is,I'm taking care of myself now.
Am I always 100% walking intowork?
No, because there's stillstressors, there's still things
(20:17):
that need my attention and needme to give to them beyond to the
kids.
So I don't always have acompletely full cup, but I never
have an empty one either.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I want to pivot here for a second and talk about the
other one that I changed a bit.
Talk about the other one that Ichanged a bit.
Lifelong learning in shades ofgray is really about keeping
that wisdom that you gain fromage and the wonder that you have
from childhood.
It is still about curiosity andhow that combines with critical
(20:52):
thinking.
I just think that thinking inshades of gray is one of the
biggest parts of criticalthinking.
If you think that thinking inshades of gray is one of the
biggest parts of criticalthinking, if you're not thinking
in shades of gray, you arelikely not thinking very
critically.
Critical thinking requiresconsulting with shades of gray
and figuring out where on thescale it is, or occasionally
(21:15):
figuring out if it's a differentcolor entirely.
To me, thinking in shades ofgray is one of the biggest parts
of the critical thinking sideof curiosity and critical
thinking, and the curiosity iswhat fuels you to do them.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
We were just applying all of those things in our
discussion about the reservoirright.
We were just applying all ofthose things in our discussion
about the reservoir right.
We were thinking about theshades of gray there in terms of
you can't always have a veryfull cup.
That's not realistic at alltimes in life, approaching with
(22:00):
curiosity of what circumstancescould this maybe not always
apply or apply perfectly, andthink critically to be able to
determine those shades of gray,would you agree?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, and I am actually going to use this as a
really good way to transitioninto how we combine the five
core fundamentals, how they cometogether.
We just talked about how usingcuriosity and critical thinking
has important implications onfilling up your inner cup, but
(22:31):
what about the rest of them?
The first fundamental is thatyour perspective of reality
shapes your experience ofreality.
Reality is reality.
It is objective and real, butthe perspective that you take
(22:51):
dramatically changes the waythat you experience that same
reality.
Two different people can havetwo totally different
perspectives and experience theexact same event totally
different ways.
Perspectives of reality is thefirst fundamental, and the other
four fundamentals are allactually just perspectives.
(23:13):
Curiosity is required forlearning and growing.
Confidence and self-compassionsupercharge our life and provide
a basis for the otherfundamentals and the fuel for a
good life, which is why we haveto fill up our cup before we can
pour into the others Shades ofgray thinking provides the
(23:37):
balance necessary forefficiently using the other
fundamentals as well as allother personal development.
Critical thinking is necessaryfor using shades of gray and
figuring out all of thedifferent shades that come with
it.
Perspectives are the foundationof how we experience life and
(23:57):
using it is necessary to focuson your locus of control.
Focusing on your locus is allabout getting more agency, and
the greatest agency we have inour locus is our conscious
perspective.
Is our conscious perspective Ifwe start by filling up our cup,
(24:26):
which some of the best ways todo that include taking control
of our conscious perspective.
If your perspective shapes yourexperience, then it has a huge
impact on how you feel.
If you can take the samesituation and feel grateful,
you're more likely to fill upyour cup, given the exact same
situation.
And if your cup is much morefull your inner cup then you're
(24:51):
much more likely to actuallyhave the reservoirs to take
control of that perspective.
When you combine taking controlof your perspective with having
confidence and self-compassionand, overall, a sense of
fulfillment and happiness, youhave dramatically changed how
(25:14):
much power you have over yourown life.
You now have the fuel and thefull cup and the perspective to
deal with anything that comesyour way.
We now use our consciousperspective to focus on our
locus of control.
When other people are upsettingus, when other people are doing
things we don't like, we letthem.
(25:36):
We let go the freedom and thefeeling that comes from letting
go of things you can't controland not worrying gives us so
much power and helps us fill upthat cup.
At the same time, by focusingon the things that we can
control, we're getting so muchmore accomplished.
(25:56):
And, of course, like I saidbefore, one of the main things
that we can control is ourconscious perspective.
Now we move on to the two thatare the biggest factors in
growing, learning and changingover time Lifelong learning in
shades of gray.
The biggest counterbalances ofthe entire core fundamentals
(26:19):
have got to be filling up yourcup, specifically the
self-compassion part of it, andthinking in shades of gray.
It's very easy to take anythingtoo far, to go way too black
and white.
Often, shades of gray is thebalance and the flexibility that
(26:40):
we need to not take things toofar and in many situations, if
you don't do something perfect,if you forget to use one of
these things, self-compassion isthe answer.
Self-compassion is one of thebiggest balancing forces of this
entire thing and it is a hugecompartment in the filling up of
(27:02):
your cup.
Shades of gray is what helps uskeep any given personal
development or fundamentalwithin reason.
It helps us not take it too farand be overly regimented or over
the top with it and bycontinuing to learn and grow and
(27:24):
have intellectual humility, bybeing curious but still
critically thinking.
Through our problems and throughnew information that you get in
shades of gray, we're going tobe learning and growing at a
rate that is like a multiplier.
You're open, you're curious,you have a growth mindset.
(27:46):
You're using words like yet Iam not there yet, and that
growth mindset that comes fromlifelong learning is going to be
a huge factor in treating yourlife like a muscle and building
it.
Being curious about a new skilltrait, something that we want
(28:07):
to get better at, is a big partof the fuel that's going to
drive you to actually build thatmuscle, to use some grit, some
discipline, to build a habit andto continue to do whatever it
is that you want to do so thatyou can build your life into the
life that you want, which isreally a huge part of what this
(28:30):
podcast is all about Lifelonglearning and building your life
like a muscle.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Awesome.
So that's a ton of really goodinformation and it's a lot to
wrap my head around.
David, could you give me almostlike a SparkNotes version or
kind of like a summary ofeverything that you had just?
Speaker 3 (28:54):
said, everyone deserves to fill up their inner
cup.
By filling up your inner cup,you're in such a better place to
actually do these other corefundamentals.
You are so much more likely tofocus on your locus, take
control of your perspective ofreality critically, think or
(29:25):
think in shades of gray or buildthat muscle of whatever you're
trying to build in your life.
If you focus on your locus ofcontrol, you are freeing up so
much of your mental andemotional space that it's going
to be so much easier to havecuriosity, to think critically,
to think in shades of gray.
It's going to be so much easierto take control of your
(29:47):
conscious perspective,especially because that is
something in your control.
It's going to be easier tobuild that muscle because you're
not worrying about all of thesethings that are out of your
control.
Instead, you're focusing on thethings that are in your control
, like building a skill, like amuscle, or doing things to take
(30:10):
care of yourself, to fill upyour cup.
Lifelong learning in shades ofgray means that you have the
intellectual humility to learnall of these different things.
It means that you're curiousenough to dive into them and be
open to these new concepts.
(30:31):
It means that you're stillcritically thinking and not just
blindly accepting everythingthat I say and making sure that
it makes sense to you first, andit means that you're viewing
these as shades of gray andrealizing that these aren't
applicable in literally everysituation or that they can be
taken too far.
(30:52):
Sometimes you're going to worryabout things that you can't
control.
If you take a total black andwhite view, you're going to be
beating yourself up over that.
Sometimes you're not going tobe able to take control of your
conscious perspective.
We're all human.
That's not always going to workthat way.
There are times where you'regoing to let a muscle fatigue
(31:17):
even though you wanted to bebuilding it, and it's also
impossible to build every muscleof your life at the same time.
It's not that black and white,just like we talked about.
Filling up your cup also meansthat sometimes you have to pour
into other things, even whenit's not fully full, because
(31:39):
real life doesn't work that way.
You're not always going to havea full cup when you have things
that you need to do.
By taking control of yourconscious perspective and
understanding that yourperspective of reality shapes
your experience of reality, youcan take a helpful perspective.
(31:59):
And, frankly, each of theseother core fundamentals are just
helpful perspectives.
I don't really have to go intothis one, because applying any
of these other fundamentals arejust helpful conscious
perspectives to be takingtowards your life.
And lastly, each of thesedifferent concepts focusing on
(32:25):
your locus, perspectives ofreality, lifelong learning in
shades of gray and filling upyour cup.
These are all skills, skillsthat we build like a muscle.
The more you do them, the moreyou think about them.
The more you do them, the moreyou think about them.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
the more you work on them, the more you apply them,
the stronger these fundamentalmuscles will become.
I'm going to pull up a veryreal-life situation that happens
to me occasionally on my way towork and I think it's very
universally known.
A lot of people have dealt withthis situation or something
very similar.
But say this you're lategetting to work or you're late
(33:11):
getting to a meeting.
You know you're running late.
They're waiting for you.
You're driving along and aschool bus pulls out in front of
you and they end up stoppingevery block and a half to pick
up or drop off kids.
How would you handle thisscenario?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
How would the five core fundamentals apply here for
you to be able to approach thisin a helpful way, because I'm
usually fuming?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
at this point.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Okay, so I'm late and now I'm stuck behind a school
bus.
This is a crappy situation.
First, I'm going to probablytake a minute for myself, so
this would probably be fallingunder fill up your cup.
So I would be taking themindful approach and just giving
myself a minute to feel thatemotion.
Then, once I've given myselfenough time to feel that emotion
, I'm going to take stock of thesituation that I'm in and focus
on my locus of control.
I can't control that school bus.
I don't feasibly really have away to make myself not late.
There's nothing.
I can't control that school bus.
I don't feasibly really have away to make myself not late.
(34:24):
There's nothing I can do aboutit.
I can let myself just spiral ordwell on it or fume and just
get angrier and angrier, like alot of people do when they're
behind the wheel, because roadrage is prevalent but also very
easy to fall into.
Or I can accept the situationfor how it is, let go of what I
(34:50):
can't control and start takingcontrol of what I can.
One of the first things that Ican take control of is my
conscious perspective.
This is not the end of theworld.
I'm not dying Objectively.
Yeah, being late sucks, but Icould be in a much worse
situation and I don't need tolet this ruin my day.
(35:11):
Like I talked about in thePerspectives of Reality episode,
traffic can be irritating, butif there's ever been a time that
you've been in traffic that youweren't irritated, but if
there's ever been a time thatyou've been in traffic that you
weren't irritated, it means thatit's possible to not be
irritated in traffic.
The same logic applies here.
I've had times where I wasn'tirritated from being behind a
(35:32):
bus.
I listened to a podcast orlistened to some music.
I have agency here and I canchoose to use it.
So I'm going to take control ofmy conscious perspective and
start focusing on the thingsthat I can do.
I can call in and say, hey, I'mgoing to be late, try and
(35:53):
explain the situation to try andmitigate some of the damage of
being late.
I can see if there's anotherroute I can take using my GPS
and go around the school bus oranother way if it's going to end
up actually being faster, evenif it's a little bit longer.
So that's kind of the focus onyour locus part of it.
(36:13):
If I've already done somefilling up of my cup, I'm going
to be able to handle thissituation a lot better If I have
some self-esteem, someself-worth and some confidence.
I'm going to be able to handlethe upset of this more, and it's
easy to get angry at myself forbeing late in the first place.
(36:35):
There's two different things Ican do here.
I can use the lifelong learningto reflect and think about how
I can do things differently fornext time, and I can give myself
some compassion and say look,it happens to everyone sometime.
Shaming myself isn't going tobe a great motivator for the
next time, so instead I'm goingto give myself some kindness.
(36:57):
And then, lastly, maybe I needto focus on building the muscle
of timeliness, building themuscle of the trait of
punctuality, or working on mytime management and viewing this
as just because I am late inthis situation doesn't mean I am
always late as a person.
(37:18):
It's not that black and white,not that black and white.
In almost any situation, we canapply many, if not all, of
these core fundamentals in a waythat empowers us so much more
than if we didn't Awesome.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
So if you're somebody who's listening to this on your
commute, like I often do, keepthese things in mind.
Road rage who's she Not anymore?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
with the five core fundamentals.
Hey, this isn't a miracle pillor a silver bullet.
Well, thank you for joining mefor today's episode about the
five core fundamentals version2.0.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Thanks for having us.
As always, it's a pleasure.
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Your time is valuable and we're so glad you choose to
learn and grow here with us.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
We'd love to hear your feedback, so click the link
in the description and let usknow what you think.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
If you haven't already, don't forget to
subscribe, so you don't miss outon more.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(38:49):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
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