June 22, 2023 • 46 mins
Melanoma and Skin Cancer Awareness Series - Part 11
What if hearing someone's personal journey of living with skin cancer could help you navigate the emotional aspects that come with it? Join us as we talk to the inspirational Bronwyn Davis, who shares her experience with squamous cell carcinoma and how she transformed her life despite the challenges.
Bronwyn opens up about the powerful shift in her relationship with her skin after her diagnosis and how she turned her pain into purpose by creating a community of skin cancer survivors. We delve into the importance of developing clarity, control, and charge in one's life, and the incredible impact that a supportive community can have on overall well-being.
Discover how Bronwyn's passion for coaching has led her to help others transform their lives and achieve greatness, even after a skin cancer diagnosis. Come along on this eye-opening journey, exploring resilience, connection, and the power within each of us to live a fulfilling life.
You can learn more about my incredible guest Bronwyn at BronwynDavis.com
Instagram @BronwynDavisCoaching
Facebook Group @Skin Cancer Sol to Soul Support
Let's work together to stop skin cancer and save lives!
Melanoma and Skin Cancer Awareness Series
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Lorie
Music Credit: Alex_MakeMusic
** Sailing Through Life Podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All content is for general informational purposes only. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lorie Tesny (00:00):
I'd like to welcome my guest, Bronwyn Davis.
Hi, Bronwyn, thank you so muchfor being here with us.
Bronwyn Davis (00:06):
Hi Lorie, thank you.
Thank you for this amazing skincancer series that you've put
together.
Lorie Tesny (00:13):
This is awesome.
We all know what it means todeal with the medical side of it
, but what happens when we needsupport?
we need encouragement, guidanceto get over that hump when
you're not at the doctor but youneed to actually live your life
, and I wanted to have anotheropportunity to inspire them to
(00:35):
reach out, to continue to growin a community that supports
This is perfect.
Bronwyn Davis (00:41):
Perfect because there's so much more that goes
into a diagnosis than just thediagnosis.
I mean, you know that's that'sone part, but what about all the
emotional parts that go alongwith it?
I mean, just even hearing thewords skin cancer right there,
that in and of itself can sendus down a hole.
(01:05):
So there's so manyopportunities here for us to
really check in on our emotionalhealth through all this as well
.
Right?
Lorie Tesny (01:18):
and you've had your own experience with skin cancer
recently, and how has thataffected you?
Bronwyn Davis (01:25):
Yes, i was diagnosed with squamous cell
carcinoma back early of 2022,and it transformed my life.
Because, first of all, let mejust let me set the stage a
little bit.
That was not the first timethat I had heard the word skin
cancer.
I heard them back when I was 12years old and I went to the
(01:50):
pediatrician as a little girland the my pediatrician looked
at the scarring on my nose andmy cheeks and he said if you get
one more sunburn, you're gonnaend up with skin cancer.
And so that, from a littlegirl's perspective, was scary.
(02:13):
I didn't know how to process it.
I didn't really understand allit meant.
All I heard was I need to beafraid of the sun.
So I spent the next decadesbeing afraid of the sun.
And here I was growing up inSouthern California, walking
distance from the beach, so itwas really hard to try to avoid
(02:36):
the sun.
So I just, you know, did all Icould, but there were days I
still got sunburned And ofcourse, that was scary.
It was scary for me because I'mthinking, oh my gosh, i'm gonna
get skin cancer Right.
So, as I grew older and startedto, you know, really educate
(02:58):
myself about how to safely beout in the sun, such as wearing
sunscreen, wearing sunprotective clothing, wearing
sunglasses, not being out in thehottest part of the day.
I had to really find out, youknow, what we're gonna be the
(03:21):
best things for me so I couldget out and live my life Right,
because I had spent decadeshiding.
Lorie Tesny (03:28):
Well, and we grew up in a different time too,
where you didn't have all thisavailable.
It wasn't such a big push to beaware of it.
Bronwyn Davis (03:39):
Exactly So.
I had to really re-educatemyself, you know, because
decades had gone by but I hadn'treally updated.
Oh wow, they have really coolsun protective clothing now, you
know.
So instead of hiding, i startedcoming out and I started, you
know, enjoying my life andreally getting out there and
(04:00):
hiking and boating and doing allthe fun things that I love to
do and being on the water Iactually live on the lake now.
And so all this tension andpressure, so that when I got
that diagnosis early last year,it rocked my world.
(04:21):
I was so emotional about it.
I cried every day for 90 daysAnd it was so hard.
I think it was just the yearsand years and decades of it
building up that in the back ofmy head, possibly knowing one
day I might have a skin cancerdiagnosis.
(04:42):
And then here it is.
And so you know, even though mydiagnosis came a little over a
year ago, i feel intimatelyconnected to it and it's
something that I've thoughtabout, even subconsciously, all
these years.
But now that it's here and nowthat I've been treated, i had a
(05:08):
wonderful doctor take care of itright away My dermatologist.
I love him, i've been going tohim for many years and he took
care of it, and some of thewords that I heard from other
people as I was going through itwas oh, it's just skin cancer,
you cut it out and it'll be fine.
(05:30):
Yeah, and these were peoplethat were close to me.
Lorie Tesny (05:34):
Well, why do you think skin cancer is so
different to deal with thanother cancers?
I mean, we can speculate,Obviously it's an opinion, but
from going through it, what doyou see that disconnect as?
Bronwyn Davis (05:49):
Misinformation.
I see it as just people notreally being educated on what
skin cancer is and the effectsthat it can have on people.
I just don't think there'senough out there to educate
people about this.
When we hear the word cancerany other cancer people really
(06:14):
jump in and oh wow, i'm so sorryto hear that.
But again, when we hear skincancer, the reaction is
completely different And I thinkit's just lack of education.
Yes, it is something that forsome people can be cut out and
(06:36):
they go on to just live theirlives, but for most it's not.
There's an emotional component,there's a physical component.
There's a lot that goes into it.
It's way more than it looks.
Lorie Tesny (06:52):
How were you able to make peace with this
diagnosis, this new life thatyou were moving through?
How did you just process all ofthat?
Bronwyn Davis (07:02):
Yeah, it was a lot to process, but one of the
things that I had done prior toeven being diagnosed because I
had spent decades being afraidof the sun and just being afraid
to go outside that I hadalready had a big breakthrough
(07:23):
regarding that, like where I hadto really kind of sit down with
myself and say what is it?
I was feeling it war with thesun and hiding, and I needed to
really make peace with the sun,with my skin first, like even
before my diagnosis.
(07:45):
And the way it happened was onemorning I was getting ready and
a normal mantra for me would beto criticize my skin, pick it
apart.
It's not good enough.
I would look at all thedifferent things that I didn't
like about my skin.
And one morning I was lookingin the mirror and I was looking
(08:09):
at all the things that werewrong with my skin And this
thought came through And thisthought said my skin, your skin,
can hear everything.
You're thinking about it,saying about it and believing
about it.
And all of a sudden it hit meso strongly that all these harsh
(08:33):
words, all these tugs and pullsand looking at my skin and
everything I would try to do toit to make it look like
something different than ittruly is, was listening And I
started thinking, wow, what if Idid that to my child?
What if I was doing that to mydaughter and treating her that
(08:57):
way every time?
I saw her to be like ugh andtugging and pulling and saying,
oh, you're not good enough, canyou imagine that?
And it made me so sad And rightthen, and there in my bathroom,
i actually felt my knees and Iwas crying because I felt I felt
(09:21):
the weight of that.
I felt so sad that I have spentall these years criticizing my
skin.
So I had to have thatexperience first, before I even
was diagnosed with skin cancer.
So then, when I was diagnosedwith skin cancer, i had already
(09:45):
made peace with my skin, but Ihad to deal with the emotional
part of wow, the 12 years old.
Ever since that, this has beensomething that I've had to deal
with for so long.
And it just hit me when thedoctors said squamous cell
carcinoma, this is skin cancer.
(10:06):
It was as if the room just gotjust pitch white, like
everything was white.
I stopped hearing, i got numb,i was just like what?
I couldn't hear what he wassaying.
It hit me so strongly And so Imean I still.
(10:31):
I walked out in a daze.
He scraped parts of it off toget the biopsy and the nurses
handing me the wound careinstructions And I'm practically
pushed out of the office.
I was in a daze and it was likeall I could do to get to my car
and I just broke down cryingwas as if everything, the weight
(10:55):
of the world, the weight of allthe emotions from 12 years old,
came just streaming back Andagain I just I cried for 90 days
.
I just couldn't, i just wantedto.
I didn't want to mask it, ididn't want to pretend it wasn't
happening, so I allowed myselfto cry And I just kept.
(11:20):
I mean, i would, i would get on, you know, calls and I had a
beautiful, beautiful supportsystem around me.
And I'll never forget, aftermonths of this now and this was
kind of toward the tail end, andit was about in the third month
of me crying every day I was ona zoom call with one of my
(11:43):
colleagues, one of my coachingcolleagues, and I was I broke
down crying again And it wasjust like one of those things I
just couldn't control and Ihadn't been able to control and
I didn't want to really control,i wanted to feel these feelings
, i didn't want to stuff themunder the rug, and so we talked
about it a little bit.
(12:04):
And then she said to me,bronwyn, how are you using this
experience to better yourselfand others?
And all of a sudden, thatreally helped me see what my
purpose here with this.
I really do believe we can makeour purpose out of our pain.
(12:29):
And all of a sudden she andthen she was asking me what are
all the good things that havecome out of this?
And I said well, you know, i'vecreated this community.
I've created this beautifulskin cancer community.
I am, you know, the leader of askin cancer group called Skin
Cancer.
(12:49):
Soul to Soul, sol to SOLsupport on Facebook And then on
Instagram.
We have an amazing communityAnd you know, it started as the
Suncare Coach and it's sincedeveloped to at Coach Bronwyn is
(13:10):
my handle, but a lot of it isabout resilience and about
bouncing back after setback.
Sure, we've all experienced asetback with our diagnosis, no
matter what it is, no matterwhat, no matter what cancer, no
matter what health challenge,we've experienced a setback.
(13:32):
And so now I am I'm Lovingfocusing now on the comeback and
really as a coach who's been acoach now for over 20 years I
really wanted to Help others sothat we don't feel like stuck
(13:53):
kind of in the Diagnosis yeah,stuck in the story That there is
a path out, there is a path,but only when they're ready.
Lorie Tesny (14:03):
Because, again, i allowed myself to feel those
feelings for 90 days and I knowsometimes it's hard to talk
about because it's it makes itvery real and, in a way, you
just want to ignore it orPretend it's not happening.
But it makes you you're in aplace of denial or avoidance and
and so the benefits of comingto that realization that you,
(14:28):
you are ready to talk about itand Connect with others.
There's a whole other side ofthat.
What are those benefits?
when you actually feel like youhave a place to be safe and
share this and connect withother people who have been
through it.
Bronwyn Davis (14:44):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And and I started, i noticedthat by sharing my story.
As Scary as that was for mewhen I first started sharing it,
what a relief it became.
I no longer had to house housein my body my story of when I
(15:08):
was 12 years old and Being toldthat I would get skin cancer if
I had got one more sunburn.
I no longer had to house thatand that was the beginning of my
healing Being able to share itwith others in a safe space, in
a place where others around meare going Wow, i may not have
(15:29):
experienced that exactly, but IFeel you and I hear you and I
see you.
That, in and of itself, wasjust amazing and so healing, and
I'm I'm grateful for thisbeautiful skin cancer community
that we're all in here.
Lorie Tesny (15:47):
Through your experience of your you know your
personal experience and dealingwith other people who are going
through this.
What have you found is the bestway to help people bounce back
after they've been throughsomething like this?
Bronwyn Davis (16:02):
Yeah.
So I started seeing more andmore that, you know, especially
as I was healing and I I hadhealed a lot of In that first
year after diagnosis Mm-hmm, ihad to really go back and kind
of look at my story and kind ofheal that little girl inside of
me that was still scared right.
(16:25):
And Once I did that and startedsharing my story and really was
Surrounded by this safe,beautiful community, i realized
that there was a, like a largegroup of people who were ready
to start, you know, making theirway out of that Into how this
(16:47):
was going to serve them again.
And I created a frameworkcalled the resilience roadmap
and It's broken down into fivecomponents and I call it the
five seas to a courageouscomeback.
And so I would love to walkthrough the five seas with you.
Oh, absolutely, yes, awesome.
(17:08):
Well, the first sea is clarity,and clarity is important because
We really have to get clear onwhat it is we want.
Okay, we've spent the, you know, the time after the diagnosis,
the treatment, the prognosis.
We we've been in it and sowe've kind of looked you kind of
(17:31):
imagine kind of lookingbackwards and healing that.
Okay.
But there comes a time now andwhen we're making our comeback,
we're starting to look forward,okay, okay.
So it's really empowering tostart thinking about what do you
want?
What is it you want?
now We've made it through,we've.
We've sure we still havedoctors appointments, we still
(17:55):
have.
You know, possibly we're stillfighting the cancer and all that
, but even Getting clear on howwe want to walk this journey,
Yes and I know for me thatmoment when My my colleague said
to me what is it, how?
how do you want to Turn thisinto something that will serve
(18:21):
you and others?
and I knew immediately What Iwanted.
I wanted to use my experienceto help others.
I mean, again, i've got 20years of coaching and I've been
diagnosed with skin cancer, so Ican help this community and one
of my passions, which I know,is that I'm here on this earth
(18:43):
to help people transform theirlives.
Yes, so that was really clearand and that's what I wanted to
To make out of this.
And I had to look at thedifferent components of that,
like what are my values?
and What are my values today,not even six months ago or a
(19:03):
year ago, because they'vechanged Since, absolutely, my
diagnosis.
Lorie Tesny (19:09):
Yeah, every experience leads to change.
You learn something everysingle time, that's.
It's just a consistentModification as you go through
life.
Bronwyn Davis (19:18):
Yes.
So even with you, laurie, iwould love to just kind of have,
have us both kind of share whatwhat clarity Means to us.
But I would love to hear fromyou too What does what does
getting clear and having theclarity Mean to you, and what do
you see from making, makingfrom your story, how, how you
(19:41):
want to turn it into yourpurpose?
Lorie Tesny (19:43):
Pretty similar to what you said, i think.
After I I went through mysecond year of treatment and
second diagnosis, i really feltthere was a gap between the the
medical side and life after, andI really felt like I could
share what I have experienced,not necessarily to Dwell on the
(20:08):
cancer diagnosis, but how torebound After that.
What, what did I learn fromthat experience?
How can I better myself and howcould I share that to help
somebody else?
and so that is when I startedputting into the works about
creating the podcast and andHaving these other stories of
hope so that people can hearwhat somebody's been through,
(20:32):
feel less alone.
And that was kind of creatingthat community.
And that's, i think, the keypart of what we're doing is
creating a safe place, acommunity for people to
understand They're not alone.
We may not have all the answersall at one time, but that
evolution of meeting otherpeople and feeling safe is that
(20:52):
was the main part.
Bronwyn Davis (20:54):
Exactly.
And look at what you've donenow, laurie.
I mean you have helped So manypeople with your podcast and
what you are giving to the worldhere.
I mean it's, it's beautiful andthe and the way you did that is
because you had some clarity onHow you wanted to serve, so
right.
So really, for us both, youknow, getting really clear was
(21:18):
important, because We can't moveforward unless we know where
we're heading.
We can certainly Start down apath, but unless we know where
we want to go and what juices usand what feels good, what we
want to make of this, it's gonnabe harder to do it.
But you took the time to getclarity right.
My encouragement for those whoare listening is in In order to
(21:41):
help them get clear, startasking yourself some questions
like who am I?
Lorie Tesny (21:47):
and what do I value ?
Those are big questions,bronwyn.
Bronwyn Davis (21:51):
Yes, Yes, so they can even write this down.
You know, like, what are mystrengths and weaknesses, mm-hmm
, and what are my goals andwhat's my purpose.
And I do this with my clientsnow, like where we walk through
this and Get really clear onwhat it is They want.
A lot of us don't know what wewant, so we go a, we go along in
(22:17):
life and we live our life bydefault.
We live it like oh well,whatever comes along today, all
all be in Reactive mode insteadof being in proactive mode.
Yeah, of this is what I wantand this is what I'm going after
, mm-hmm.
Yeah, which actually brings usto our second C, which is
(22:40):
control.
So What?
what we find out here as westart getting the clarity, is
that we actually have way moreControl than we ever thought
possible.
We have control over our health.
We have control even over howwe want to Relate to our, our
(23:03):
doctors.
We love our doctors, they'redoc.
We need our doctors.
This isn't about that, but weget to be in control as to our
care.
Yes, we get to choose what youknow out of, out of the Options
that they've laid out for us.
Remember, we always get to takea pause and we get to be really
(23:25):
clear on what it is We'rechoosing.
So we put ourselves back intothe driver seat.
Yes, so I know, for me, youknow, like just getting the
control back In in all aspectsof this.
And I think the moment when mycolleague said to me my
colleague, who's a brilliantcoach, you know said to me Well,
(23:47):
how do you want this to go?
that Immediately put me backinto the driver seat, right, and
I got to take control andreally make of My diagnosis what
I wanted to make of it, right.
I wasn't just another statistic, i wasn't just someone having
to go to appointments doctorsappointments over and over and
(24:07):
over.
I became someone who hadcontrol over the way I wanted to
see my care go, mm-hmm.
So we have way more controlthan we think we do.
So I would love to hear fromyou, laurie, when you hear the
word control how, what do yousee?
How does that resonate with youin your life?
Lorie Tesny (24:30):
Well, i was gonna say, When you're talking about
this, you know it resonatedquite a bit, you know with how
many people think that theydon't have that control and how
many people actually do we alldo.
It's getting yourself out ofthat mindset that you don't have
control and you're just onautopilot or reactive mode as
you go through this.
(24:51):
The control that I took was Inthe midst of everything that I
was going through Cancerdiagnosis, followed by a
secondary one within not even acouple months, and then a
pandemic breaking out.
I just I got to the point whereI'm like I'm done, i'm done
putting Myself at risk, i'm donedoing things for other people,
(25:13):
and I had to really get Focusedon what I needed for me.
And once I started getting that, like you said, getting the
clarity, then you have a pathand then you start making steps
to follow that path beautiful.
Bronwyn Davis (25:30):
Yes, yes, you took control.
Mm.
Hmm, i love that, lori.
Wow, how empowering is that.
And even just hearing you andyour energy and the way you just
stepped into your power there,that's what control does.
Yeah, when you realize, whenyou make that switch, that
(25:53):
you're you truly are the driverin this, you are the captain of
your ship here, that it changeseverything.
So, which leads us now to ourthird C, which is charge, and I
use charge as really looking atyour life.
Now that you've gained theclarity, now that you have
(26:15):
control, how are you, how areyou feeling, how are you
energized, how are you, you know, engaging with others?
This is all about reallyelevating, now that your energy,
you know really, how are youliving your life?
Are you, are you barely gettingyou know yourself through the
(26:37):
day, or are you taking momentsfor yourself?
Are you taking the self careRight Moments and taking time to
pause and meditate and get, getreally rooted inside of you,
get really grounded as to whatyou want, so that you can be
engaged in your life and reallyfeel like you're stepping into
(27:02):
your life, you're owning it andfeeling engaged with those
around me, and I know this.
This one's really important tome because, you know, again, i
went through three months of notfeeling, not feeling good, you
know, and and crying every dayand not knowing when I was going
to cry.
And you know, as a coach, imean, i was still coaching
(27:23):
others, you know, but I I would,you know, get through my
sessions and then and then cryagain, you know.
So, right, so I had to really,even prior to the set, my, my
coaching sessions, take the timefor myself And, as I said, i
allowed myself.
Those times when I broke down,i didn't try to stuff it because
I knew that would be worse.
(27:45):
Right, i tried to stuff it And Itried, if I tried, to just
ignore it and dismiss it andmove on and kind of distract
myself with work or food oranything else.
That would not be good, youknow.
And so I just took those threemonths to just allow myself to
do that And I was able to reallycome out of it energized and
(28:08):
engaged with my life because Iallowed myself to be in my life.
I really got excited about mylife when I came out of that And
I really just started livingmore alive and happy about my
life.
So, as I'm talking aboutfeeling charged, laurie, i'd
(28:29):
love to hear from you like howdoes that resonate at this time
in your life?
Lorie Tesny (28:35):
It's very easy, when you get bad news or you get
a diagnosis, to feel veryisolated and to start closing
things off so you can protectyourself.
I think it's innate for you towant to kind of recoil and feel
like you're in control ofsomething.
When you have that littleglimmer of hope, when you
(29:00):
actually connect with somebodyelse, you can, you can feel that
energy with somebody That is,that is that little clue that
you're on the right path.
When you start feeling likethere's somebody there
supporting you.
It's just being part of that.
That's that charge.
But you have to give yourself alittle patience to feel safe
(29:21):
enough to start reaching out.
And it goes back to sharingyour story and connecting with
other people and creating thatsafe place to feel like you can
share and not be judged.
I think we're our worst enemywhen it comes to that.
You.
You have all these things inyour head, all these stories you
tell yourself about what is,but you don't know because you
(29:42):
don't do it, you just assume it.
And when you start finding theright path and when you start
connecting with the right people, it does give you more energy,
it gives you more power to moveforward.
Bronwyn Davis (29:55):
You know, we've heard that phrase.
You know, when two or more aregathered, you know, yes, kind of
the same thing.
When we engage with others andwe step into our life, when we
engage with ourselves and andstep into our life fully, we
engage with those around us.
And one thing I want to sayabout that as well is please
(30:19):
don't think that everyone aroundyou, in your world is going to
understand what you're goingthrough.
They absolutely will not.
If they have not experienced it, they will not.
I mean, you know, that was oneof the biggest things I learned,
as much as I would have wantedthem to understand, as much as I
(30:42):
would be like well, you know,this is how I'm feeling, and you
know, they, they, they cannotunderstand.
So my encouragement is for usall to stop thinking that those
around us sure they love us,sure, that's not.
That's not even the point ofwhat I'm saying here.
They love us deeply And theywish that they could help us.
(31:05):
But that's why it's importantto reach out and to have someone
you can speak to, because weall in this community understand
what you're going through.
Yeah, so that you don't have tospeak to someone who doesn't
understand.
Try to get some sort of a youknow response from them that
(31:27):
you're just not getting you knowbecause they yeah forcing it.
It's no, it's yeah, it's nofault of theirs, it truly is no
fault of theirs.
We have to understand, use yourenergy for the people who truly
understand you, you know,create your tribe, which leads
us now to the fourth C, which isconfidence.
(31:51):
So, once you've gained theclarity you now feel in control
of it of making the choices inyour life, you're starting to
step out.
You feel charged and engagedand excited about life again.
This is where the confidencecomes in, because we get to now
(32:11):
start really owning ourgreatness and really owning all
of the experiences that we havebeen through to bring us to this
point, so that we can now useit to to further our purpose in
life.
So we need confidence, like Ineeded confidence to be able to
(32:35):
speak up to my dermatologist.
I was in a situation where, sixmonths after my diagnosis, i saw
some other areas that lookedvery similar to what had been
diagnosed as squamous cell Andthey were on my face.
(32:55):
And I went in and he looked atit briefly He said no, no, it's
not, it's pre-cancer.
And he gave me the choice rightthen and there Do you want me
to freeze it off Or do you wantto do this chemo cream.
And you know, and he said, youknow, you would put the chemo
cream all over my face and itwill bring out any other spots
(33:19):
for them to come up to thesurface to then peel off and
heal.
And he was really pushing thechemo cream, you know, and he
was kind of pushing it And I itfelt like at the time that I was
kind of being more coerced intodoing the chemo cream instead
of him and to sit there and haveto freeze off each one of these
(33:43):
spots, which would have takenmore time for him, and of course
I didn't know the difference.
So I went with what hesuggested and he was kind of,
again, just kind of forced, notforcing, but suggesting that I
do the chemo cream, stronglysuggesting, strongly suggesting
(34:04):
yes, well, so I went home withthe chemo cream and you know I
started with the cream and it'sa 30 day process, yes, and day
after day, i mean just theburning, the spots that came out
, and I documented this all onmy Instagram page.
It's under the highlight ofchemo cream, but you could see
(34:28):
my face transforming.
It was so painful, so painful,and you know whether it was the
right choice or not.
I wish in hindsight I had hadthe confidence to ask more
questions.
I was still in it.
I was still trying to justsurvive and kind of get through
(34:51):
my days, you know.
So I was still in it.
I hadn't gained the hindsightyet.
Yeah, but in hindsight I wouldsay I needed the confidence to
speak up and to ask morequestions, to get more clarity
so that I could make a betterinformed decision.
I feel like it was a littlerushed and I didn't really take
(35:13):
the time to or I didn't commandthat.
The doctor took the time toshare with me more, which is a
common story for a lot of us,Absolutely it is.
Lorie Tesny (35:23):
Yeah, I think you're afraid.
You're afraid to say anythingbecause you don't want the
answer that you might get.
You're putting a lot of weightin the doctor's opinion because
they're the doctor.
The freeze thing that happenswhen you're in the office at an
appointment and you just kind ofblank out.
It's a hard place to be And Ithink over time, if you can
(35:45):
speak up about one thing, thenmaybe you can say something else
And you'll start realizing thatthe more proactive you are, the
better experience you have.
Bronwyn Davis (35:55):
Yes, yes, and I have since, since that time,
because I knew, i knew afterthat, ooh, that was a time for
me to speak up And I didn't.
So I didn't have the confidencethat I've been working now on
my confidence.
Actually, confidence is alearned skill.
It's not something we're bornwith, it's something we have to
(36:17):
learn.
So I started pushing myself tostart speaking up in all areas
of my life And really Well,don't you?
Lorie Tesny (36:24):
have to just figure out how to trust yourself When
you think the thing you think,don't?
you just need to listen.
Bronwyn Davis (36:31):
Yes, yes And listen to your intuition, listen
to your gut and go with it andthen have the confidence to act
on it and to speak it.
That's where the confidencecomes in.
It's because, yes, here we'vegotten really close to our
intuition and our heart and ourgut.
(36:53):
We're getting to know itintimately, through the clarity,
through the control and throughthe charge, and now it's like
really getting to the pointwhere we're listening and then
we're actually acting on what itis we hear.
And that's not always easy,that isn't.
But I've been in these last sixmonths really really pushing
(37:17):
myself, putting myself insituations, because I wanna
strengthen this muscle ofconfidence.
So I've been putting myself insituations where in the past
would be scary, or I don't wannaspeak up, or I don't wanna make
a fuss, or whatever.
And I am speaking up and I amtaking back my control and I am
(37:40):
standing up with confidence,which leads us to our fifth C,
which is drum roll, Community.
You know we have laced the wordcommunity throughout all of this
.
To come to now the importanceof community and coaching if
(38:05):
that's something someone wouldlike To get, that one-on-one
coaching or even group coaching,the education, everything is
tied up in community and there'sjust no other.
There's no way to get around it.
I mean, the studies show thatthose in community heal faster,
so it's an important componentto all this, yeah, i agree.
(38:28):
So I wanna hear from you, lori,like, what is community?
I know you've benefited greatlyfrom having your community
around you, from all of us beingaround each other.
Lorie Tesny (38:41):
When you hear from other people their experience.
You may not be going throughthe exact same thing, but I
think people understand and youdon't feel so obligated to
defend yourself or explainyourself or try to make sense of
it all.
There's a unspokenunderstanding that happens in a
community.
You feel accepted for who youare.
(39:02):
You don't have to prove who youare, you don't have to prove
what you're trying to do, itjust is and it relieves a lot of
pressure off yourself.
It relieves a lot of thatstress.
Nobody needs more stress,especially going through a
cancer fight.
You don't need that.
You're trying to alleviate thatAnd so being a part of the
community takes part of thatweight off of you and it
distributes it through thatcommunity and everybody else can
(39:24):
help you hold that up And Ithink the power that that has,
where you can be vulnerable andtrust that somebody else will
hear you at another level, thatmany people that aren't part of
that similar community wouldWe're all in this together.
Bronwyn Davis (39:44):
Yes, we all get to lean on each other.
We're all supporting each other, as we are all healing.
As one heals, we're all healing.
It is the most powerful thingthat we can do for ourselves is
to not think that we have to dothis alone, because we don't.
(40:05):
We absolutely do not.
Lorie Tesny (40:09):
I love the energy you have behind what you're
doing, because I know howimportant this is.
As we know, skin cancer is alittle bit different, and not
that we want it to be, it's theway it is.
I think being more intentionalwith how you pursue that, how
you reach out to people, andbeing more specific on that is
(40:31):
very important.
It really does make adifference.
Bronwyn Davis (40:36):
Thank you, thank you.
I'm so blessed that I have beenable to blend 20 years of
coaching career coaching highperformers all over the world.
Especially in the last fiveyears as a certified
high-performance coach, i'vehelped hundreds of women and men
high performers from all overthe world go to their next level
(41:00):
of greatness.
I'm using now all those skillsto help those in this community.
What I'm seeing evolve is thatmore and more people from all
cancers are starting to join mypage at Coach Bronwyn.
More and more are seeing thebenefits of what I'm talking
(41:23):
about.
Although it originated, thefoundation was in skin cancer.
That's my first passion, butnow all people with cancer are
starting to see that these arethings that can help all of us
rise up.
I love being a coach because,again, my purpose in life is to
(41:45):
help people transform theirlives.
When I see these people have abreakthrough and they're able to
see things a little bitdifferently than they may have
when we first got on our call,it just juices me.
This is why I was put on thisearth.
I love what I do.
Lorie Tesny (42:04):
I'm so grateful to you for taking time today to
talk to us and reach out to thelisteners, the audience, those
people who are struggling rightnow to find answers, to make
sense of all this, to live adifferent life, because we all
know how it feels when you getsucked into this world.
I am just so thankful andhonored to have you here.
Bronwyn Davis (42:27):
Thank you, laurie .
Thank you And thank you foragain just creating this safe
space for all of us to come andhear your podcast.
Every single one of yourpodcasts is uplifting and
healing.
It just makes us not feel soalone.
I just applaud you for the workthat you are doing here, Laurie
(42:49):
.
You are an amazing woman andjust such an important part of
this community.
Thank you, thank you.
I'd like to welcome my guest, Bronwyn Davis.
Hi, Bronwyn, thank you so muchfor being here with us.
Bronwyn Davis (00:06):
Hi Lorie, thank you.
Thank you for this amazing skincancer series that you've put
together.
Lorie Tesny (00:13):
This is awesome.
We all know what it means todeal with the medical side of it
, but what happens when we needsupport?
we need encouragement, guidanceto get over that hump when
you're not at the doctor but youneed to actually live your life
, and I wanted to have anotheropportunity to inspire them to
(00:35):
reach out, to continue to growin a community that supports
This is perfect.
Bronwyn Davis (00:41):
Perfect because there's so much more that goes
into a diagnosis than just thediagnosis.
I mean, you know that's that'sone part, but what about all the
emotional parts that go alongwith it?
I mean, just even hearing thewords skin cancer right there,
that in and of itself can sendus down a hole.
(01:05):
So there's so manyopportunities here for us to
really check in on our emotionalhealth through all this as well
.
Right?
Lorie Tesny (01:18):
and you've had your own experience with skin cancer
recently, and how has thataffected you?
Bronwyn Davis (01:25):
Yes, i was diagnosed with squamous cell
carcinoma back early of 2022,and it transformed my life.
Because, first of all, let mejust let me set the stage a
little bit.
That was not the first timethat I had heard the word skin
cancer.
I heard them back when I was 12years old and I went to the
(01:50):
pediatrician as a little girland the my pediatrician looked
at the scarring on my nose andmy cheeks and he said if you get
one more sunburn, you're gonnaend up with skin cancer.
And so that, from a littlegirl's perspective, was scary.
(02:13):
I didn't know how to process it.
I didn't really understand allit meant.
All I heard was I need to beafraid of the sun.
So I spent the next decadesbeing afraid of the sun.
And here I was growing up inSouthern California, walking
distance from the beach, so itwas really hard to try to avoid
(02:36):
the sun.
So I just, you know, did all Icould, but there were days I
still got sunburned And ofcourse, that was scary.
It was scary for me because I'mthinking, oh my gosh, i'm gonna
get skin cancer Right.
So, as I grew older and startedto, you know, really educate
(02:58):
myself about how to safely beout in the sun, such as wearing
sunscreen, wearing sunprotective clothing, wearing
sunglasses, not being out in thehottest part of the day.
I had to really find out, youknow, what we're gonna be the
(03:21):
best things for me so I couldget out and live my life Right,
because I had spent decadeshiding.
Lorie Tesny (03:28):
Well, and we grew up in a different time too,
where you didn't have all thisavailable.
It wasn't such a big push to beaware of it.
Bronwyn Davis (03:39):
Exactly So.
I had to really re-educatemyself, you know, because
decades had gone by but I hadn'treally updated.
Oh wow, they have really coolsun protective clothing now, you
know.
So instead of hiding, i startedcoming out and I started, you
know, enjoying my life andreally getting out there and
(04:00):
hiking and boating and doing allthe fun things that I love to
do and being on the water Iactually live on the lake now.
And so all this tension andpressure, so that when I got
that diagnosis early last year,it rocked my world.
(04:21):
I was so emotional about it.
I cried every day for 90 daysAnd it was so hard.
I think it was just the yearsand years and decades of it
building up that in the back ofmy head, possibly knowing one
day I might have a skin cancerdiagnosis.
(04:42):
And then here it is.
And so you know, even though mydiagnosis came a little over a
year ago, i feel intimatelyconnected to it and it's
something that I've thoughtabout, even subconsciously, all
these years.
But now that it's here and nowthat I've been treated, i had a
(05:08):
wonderful doctor take care of itright away My dermatologist.
I love him, i've been going tohim for many years and he took
care of it, and some of thewords that I heard from other
people as I was going through itwas oh, it's just skin cancer,
you cut it out and it'll be fine.
(05:30):
Yeah, and these were peoplethat were close to me.
Lorie Tesny (05:34):
Well, why do you think skin cancer is so
different to deal with thanother cancers?
I mean, we can speculate,Obviously it's an opinion, but
from going through it, what doyou see that disconnect as?
Bronwyn Davis (05:49):
Misinformation.
I see it as just people notreally being educated on what
skin cancer is and the effectsthat it can have on people.
I just don't think there'senough out there to educate
people about this.
When we hear the word cancerany other cancer people really
(06:14):
jump in and oh wow, i'm so sorryto hear that.
But again, when we hear skincancer, the reaction is
completely different And I thinkit's just lack of education.
Yes, it is something that forsome people can be cut out and
(06:36):
they go on to just live theirlives, but for most it's not.
There's an emotional component,there's a physical component.
There's a lot that goes into it.
It's way more than it looks.
Lorie Tesny (06:52):
How were you able to make peace with this
diagnosis, this new life thatyou were moving through?
How did you just process all ofthat?
Bronwyn Davis (07:02):
Yeah, it was a lot to process, but one of the
things that I had done prior toeven being diagnosed because I
had spent decades being afraidof the sun and just being afraid
to go outside that I hadalready had a big breakthrough
(07:23):
regarding that, like where I hadto really kind of sit down with
myself and say what is it?
I was feeling it war with thesun and hiding, and I needed to
really make peace with the sun,with my skin first, like even
before my diagnosis.
(07:45):
And the way it happened was onemorning I was getting ready and
a normal mantra for me would beto criticize my skin, pick it
apart.
It's not good enough.
I would look at all thedifferent things that I didn't
like about my skin.
And one morning I was lookingin the mirror and I was looking
(08:09):
at all the things that werewrong with my skin And this
thought came through And thisthought said my skin, your skin,
can hear everything.
You're thinking about it,saying about it and believing
about it.
And all of a sudden it hit meso strongly that all these harsh
(08:33):
words, all these tugs and pullsand looking at my skin and
everything I would try to do toit to make it look like
something different than ittruly is, was listening And I
started thinking, wow, what if Idid that to my child?
What if I was doing that to mydaughter and treating her that
(08:57):
way every time?
I saw her to be like ugh andtugging and pulling and saying,
oh, you're not good enough, canyou imagine that?
And it made me so sad And rightthen, and there in my bathroom,
i actually felt my knees and Iwas crying because I felt I felt
(09:21):
the weight of that.
I felt so sad that I have spentall these years criticizing my
skin.
So I had to have thatexperience first, before I even
was diagnosed with skin cancer.
So then, when I was diagnosedwith skin cancer, i had already
(09:45):
made peace with my skin, but Ihad to deal with the emotional
part of wow, the 12 years old.
Ever since that, this has beensomething that I've had to deal
with for so long.
And it just hit me when thedoctors said squamous cell
carcinoma, this is skin cancer.
(10:06):
It was as if the room just gotjust pitch white, like
everything was white.
I stopped hearing, i got numb,i was just like what?
I couldn't hear what he wassaying.
It hit me so strongly And so Imean I still.
(10:31):
I walked out in a daze.
He scraped parts of it off toget the biopsy and the nurses
handing me the wound careinstructions And I'm practically
pushed out of the office.
I was in a daze and it was likeall I could do to get to my car
and I just broke down cryingwas as if everything, the weight
(10:55):
of the world, the weight of allthe emotions from 12 years old,
came just streaming back Andagain I just I cried for 90 days
.
I just couldn't, i just wantedto.
I didn't want to mask it, ididn't want to pretend it wasn't
happening, so I allowed myselfto cry And I just kept.
(11:20):
I mean, i would, i would get on, you know, calls and I had a
beautiful, beautiful supportsystem around me.
And I'll never forget, aftermonths of this now and this was
kind of toward the tail end, andit was about in the third month
of me crying every day I was ona zoom call with one of my
(11:43):
colleagues, one of my coachingcolleagues, and I was I broke
down crying again And it wasjust like one of those things I
just couldn't control and Ihadn't been able to control and
I didn't want to really control,i wanted to feel these feelings
, i didn't want to stuff themunder the rug, and so we talked
about it a little bit.
(12:04):
And then she said to me,bronwyn, how are you using this
experience to better yourselfand others?
And all of a sudden, thatreally helped me see what my
purpose here with this.
I really do believe we can makeour purpose out of our pain.
(12:29):
And all of a sudden she andthen she was asking me what are
all the good things that havecome out of this?
And I said well, you know, i'vecreated this community.
I've created this beautifulskin cancer community.
I am, you know, the leader of askin cancer group called Skin
Cancer.
(12:49):
Soul to Soul, sol to SOLsupport on Facebook And then on
Instagram.
We have an amazing communityAnd you know, it started as the
Suncare Coach and it's sincedeveloped to at Coach Bronwyn is
(13:10):
my handle, but a lot of it isabout resilience and about
bouncing back after setback.
Sure, we've all experienced asetback with our diagnosis, no
matter what it is, no matterwhat, no matter what cancer, no
matter what health challenge,we've experienced a setback.
(13:32):
And so now I am I'm Lovingfocusing now on the comeback and
really as a coach who's been acoach now for over 20 years I
really wanted to Help others sothat we don't feel like stuck
(13:53):
kind of in the Diagnosis yeah,stuck in the story That there is
a path out, there is a path,but only when they're ready.
Lorie Tesny (14:03):
Because, again, i allowed myself to feel those
feelings for 90 days and I knowsometimes it's hard to talk
about because it's it makes itvery real and, in a way, you
just want to ignore it orPretend it's not happening.
But it makes you you're in aplace of denial or avoidance and
and so the benefits of comingto that realization that you,
(14:28):
you are ready to talk about itand Connect with others.
There's a whole other side ofthat.
What are those benefits?
when you actually feel like youhave a place to be safe and
share this and connect withother people who have been
through it.
Bronwyn Davis (14:44):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And and I started, i noticedthat by sharing my story.
As Scary as that was for mewhen I first started sharing it,
what a relief it became.
I no longer had to house housein my body my story of when I
(15:08):
was 12 years old and Being toldthat I would get skin cancer if
I had got one more sunburn.
I no longer had to house thatand that was the beginning of my
healing Being able to share itwith others in a safe space, in
a place where others around meare going Wow, i may not have
(15:29):
experienced that exactly, but IFeel you and I hear you and I
see you.
That, in and of itself, wasjust amazing and so healing, and
I'm I'm grateful for thisbeautiful skin cancer community
that we're all in here.
Lorie Tesny (15:47):
Through your experience of your you know your
personal experience and dealingwith other people who are going
through this.
What have you found is the bestway to help people bounce back
after they've been throughsomething like this?
Bronwyn Davis (16:02):
Yeah.
So I started seeing more andmore that, you know, especially
as I was healing and I I hadhealed a lot of In that first
year after diagnosis Mm-hmm, ihad to really go back and kind
of look at my story and kind ofheal that little girl inside of
me that was still scared right.
(16:25):
And Once I did that and startedsharing my story and really was
Surrounded by this safe,beautiful community, i realized
that there was a, like a largegroup of people who were ready
to start, you know, making theirway out of that Into how this
(16:47):
was going to serve them again.
And I created a frameworkcalled the resilience roadmap
and It's broken down into fivecomponents and I call it the
five seas to a courageouscomeback.
And so I would love to walkthrough the five seas with you.
Oh, absolutely, yes, awesome.
(17:08):
Well, the first sea is clarity,and clarity is important because
We really have to get clear onwhat it is we want.
Okay, we've spent the, you know, the time after the diagnosis,
the treatment, the prognosis.
We we've been in it and sowe've kind of looked you kind of
(17:31):
imagine kind of lookingbackwards and healing that.
Okay.
But there comes a time now andwhen we're making our comeback,
we're starting to look forward,okay, okay.
So it's really empowering tostart thinking about what do you
want?
What is it you want?
now We've made it through,we've.
We've sure we still havedoctors appointments, we still
(17:55):
have.
You know, possibly we're stillfighting the cancer and all that
, but even Getting clear on howwe want to walk this journey,
Yes and I know for me thatmoment when My my colleague said
to me what is it, how?
how do you want to Turn thisinto something that will serve
(18:21):
you and others?
and I knew immediately What Iwanted.
I wanted to use my experienceto help others.
I mean, again, i've got 20years of coaching and I've been
diagnosed with skin cancer, so Ican help this community and one
of my passions, which I know,is that I'm here on this earth
(18:43):
to help people transform theirlives.
Yes, so that was really clearand and that's what I wanted to
To make out of this.
And I had to look at thedifferent components of that,
like what are my values?
and What are my values today,not even six months ago or a
(19:03):
year ago, because they'vechanged Since, absolutely, my
diagnosis.
Lorie Tesny (19:09):
Yeah, every experience leads to change.
You learn something everysingle time, that's.
It's just a consistentModification as you go through
life.
Bronwyn Davis (19:18):
Yes.
So even with you, laurie, iwould love to just kind of have,
have us both kind of share whatwhat clarity Means to us.
But I would love to hear fromyou too What does what does
getting clear and having theclarity Mean to you, and what do
you see from making, makingfrom your story, how, how you
(19:41):
want to turn it into yourpurpose?
Lorie Tesny (19:43):
Pretty similar to what you said, i think.
After I I went through mysecond year of treatment and
second diagnosis, i really feltthere was a gap between the the
medical side and life after, andI really felt like I could
share what I have experienced,not necessarily to Dwell on the
(20:08):
cancer diagnosis, but how torebound After that.
What, what did I learn fromthat experience?
How can I better myself and howcould I share that to help
somebody else?
and so that is when I startedputting into the works about
creating the podcast and andHaving these other stories of
hope so that people can hearwhat somebody's been through,
(20:32):
feel less alone.
And that was kind of creatingthat community.
And that's, i think, the keypart of what we're doing is
creating a safe place, acommunity for people to
understand They're not alone.
We may not have all the answersall at one time, but that
evolution of meeting otherpeople and feeling safe is that
(20:52):
was the main part.
Bronwyn Davis (20:54):
Exactly.
And look at what you've donenow, laurie.
I mean you have helped So manypeople with your podcast and
what you are giving to the worldhere.
I mean it's, it's beautiful andthe and the way you did that is
because you had some clarity onHow you wanted to serve, so
right.
So really, for us both, youknow, getting really clear was
(21:18):
important, because We can't moveforward unless we know where
we're heading.
We can certainly Start down apath, but unless we know where
we want to go and what juices usand what feels good, what we
want to make of this, it's gonnabe harder to do it.
But you took the time to getclarity right.
My encouragement for those whoare listening is in In order to
(21:41):
help them get clear, startasking yourself some questions
like who am I?
Lorie Tesny (21:47):
and what do I value ?
Those are big questions,bronwyn.
Bronwyn Davis (21:51):
Yes, Yes, so they can even write this down.
You know, like, what are mystrengths and weaknesses, mm-hmm
, and what are my goals andwhat's my purpose.
And I do this with my clientsnow, like where we walk through
this and Get really clear onwhat it is They want.
A lot of us don't know what wewant, so we go a, we go along in
(22:17):
life and we live our life bydefault.
We live it like oh well,whatever comes along today, all
all be in Reactive mode insteadof being in proactive mode.
Yeah, of this is what I wantand this is what I'm going after
, mm-hmm.
Yeah, which actually brings usto our second C, which is
(22:40):
control.
So What?
what we find out here as westart getting the clarity, is
that we actually have way moreControl than we ever thought
possible.
We have control over our health.
We have control even over howwe want to Relate to our, our
(23:03):
doctors.
We love our doctors, they'redoc.
We need our doctors.
This isn't about that, but weget to be in control as to our
care.
Yes, we get to choose what youknow out of, out of the Options
that they've laid out for us.
Remember, we always get to takea pause and we get to be really
(23:25):
clear on what it is We'rechoosing.
So we put ourselves back intothe driver seat.
Yes, so I know, for me, youknow, like just getting the
control back In in all aspectsof this.
And I think the moment when mycolleague said to me my
colleague, who's a brilliantcoach, you know said to me Well,
(23:47):
how do you want this to go?
that Immediately put me backinto the driver seat, right, and
I got to take control andreally make of My diagnosis what
I wanted to make of it, right.
I wasn't just another statistic, i wasn't just someone having
to go to appointments doctorsappointments over and over and
(24:07):
over.
I became someone who hadcontrol over the way I wanted to
see my care go, mm-hmm.
So we have way more controlthan we think we do.
So I would love to hear fromyou, laurie, when you hear the
word control how, what do yousee?
How does that resonate with youin your life?
Lorie Tesny (24:30):
Well, i was gonna say, When you're talking about
this, you know it resonatedquite a bit, you know with how
many people think that theydon't have that control and how
many people actually do we alldo.
It's getting yourself out ofthat mindset that you don't have
control and you're just onautopilot or reactive mode as
you go through this.
(24:51):
The control that I took was Inthe midst of everything that I
was going through Cancerdiagnosis, followed by a
secondary one within not even acouple months, and then a
pandemic breaking out.
I just I got to the point whereI'm like I'm done, i'm done
putting Myself at risk, i'm donedoing things for other people,
(25:13):
and I had to really get Focusedon what I needed for me.
And once I started getting that, like you said, getting the
clarity, then you have a pathand then you start making steps
to follow that path beautiful.
Bronwyn Davis (25:30):
Yes, yes, you took control.
Mm.
Hmm, i love that, lori.
Wow, how empowering is that.
And even just hearing you andyour energy and the way you just
stepped into your power there,that's what control does.
Yeah, when you realize, whenyou make that switch, that
(25:53):
you're you truly are the driverin this, you are the captain of
your ship here, that it changeseverything.
So, which leads us now to ourthird C, which is charge, and I
use charge as really looking atyour life.
Now that you've gained theclarity, now that you have
(26:15):
control, how are you, how areyou feeling, how are you
energized, how are you, you know, engaging with others?
This is all about reallyelevating, now that your energy,
you know really, how are youliving your life?
Are you, are you barely gettingyou know yourself through the
(26:37):
day, or are you taking momentsfor yourself?
Are you taking the self careRight Moments and taking time to
pause and meditate and get, getreally rooted inside of you,
get really grounded as to whatyou want, so that you can be
engaged in your life and reallyfeel like you're stepping into
(27:02):
your life, you're owning it andfeeling engaged with those
around me, and I know this.
This one's really important tome because, you know, again, i
went through three months of notfeeling, not feeling good, you
know, and and crying every dayand not knowing when I was going
to cry.
And you know, as a coach, imean, i was still coaching
(27:23):
others, you know, but I I would,you know, get through my
sessions and then and then cryagain, you know.
So, right, so I had to really,even prior to the set, my, my
coaching sessions, take the timefor myself And, as I said, i
allowed myself.
Those times when I broke down,i didn't try to stuff it because
I knew that would be worse.
(27:45):
Right, i tried to stuff it And Itried, if I tried, to just
ignore it and dismiss it andmove on and kind of distract
myself with work or food oranything else.
That would not be good, youknow.
And so I just took those threemonths to just allow myself to
do that And I was able to reallycome out of it energized and
(28:08):
engaged with my life because Iallowed myself to be in my life.
I really got excited about mylife when I came out of that And
I really just started livingmore alive and happy about my
life.
So, as I'm talking aboutfeeling charged, laurie, i'd
(28:29):
love to hear from you like howdoes that resonate at this time
in your life?
Lorie Tesny (28:35):
It's very easy, when you get bad news or you get
a diagnosis, to feel veryisolated and to start closing
things off so you can protectyourself.
I think it's innate for you towant to kind of recoil and feel
like you're in control ofsomething.
When you have that littleglimmer of hope, when you
(29:00):
actually connect with somebodyelse, you can, you can feel that
energy with somebody That is,that is that little clue that
you're on the right path.
When you start feeling likethere's somebody there
supporting you.
It's just being part of that.
That's that charge.
But you have to give yourself alittle patience to feel safe
(29:21):
enough to start reaching out.
And it goes back to sharingyour story and connecting with
other people and creating thatsafe place to feel like you can
share and not be judged.
I think we're our worst enemywhen it comes to that.
You.
You have all these things inyour head, all these stories you
tell yourself about what is,but you don't know because you
(29:42):
don't do it, you just assume it.
And when you start finding theright path and when you start
connecting with the right people, it does give you more energy,
it gives you more power to moveforward.
Bronwyn Davis (29:55):
You know, we've heard that phrase.
You know, when two or more aregathered, you know, yes, kind of
the same thing.
When we engage with others andwe step into our life, when we
engage with ourselves and andstep into our life fully, we
engage with those around us.
And one thing I want to sayabout that as well is please
(30:19):
don't think that everyone aroundyou, in your world is going to
understand what you're goingthrough.
They absolutely will not.
If they have not experienced it, they will not.
I mean, you know, that was oneof the biggest things I learned,
as much as I would have wantedthem to understand, as much as I
(30:42):
would be like well, you know,this is how I'm feeling, and you
know, they, they, they cannotunderstand.
So my encouragement is for usall to stop thinking that those
around us sure they love us,sure, that's not.
That's not even the point ofwhat I'm saying here.
They love us deeply And theywish that they could help us.
(31:05):
But that's why it's importantto reach out and to have someone
you can speak to, because weall in this community understand
what you're going through.
Yeah, so that you don't have tospeak to someone who doesn't
understand.
Try to get some sort of a youknow response from them that
(31:27):
you're just not getting you knowbecause they yeah forcing it.
It's no, it's yeah, it's nofault of theirs, it truly is no
fault of theirs.
We have to understand, use yourenergy for the people who truly
understand you, you know,create your tribe, which leads
us now to the fourth C, which isconfidence.
(31:51):
So, once you've gained theclarity you now feel in control
of it of making the choices inyour life, you're starting to
step out.
You feel charged and engagedand excited about life again.
This is where the confidencecomes in, because we get to now
(32:11):
start really owning ourgreatness and really owning all
of the experiences that we havebeen through to bring us to this
point, so that we can now useit to to further our purpose in
life.
So we need confidence, like Ineeded confidence to be able to
(32:35):
speak up to my dermatologist.
I was in a situation where, sixmonths after my diagnosis, i saw
some other areas that lookedvery similar to what had been
diagnosed as squamous cell Andthey were on my face.
(32:55):
And I went in and he looked atit briefly He said no, no, it's
not, it's pre-cancer.
And he gave me the choice rightthen and there Do you want me
to freeze it off Or do you wantto do this chemo cream.
And you know, and he said, youknow, you would put the chemo
cream all over my face and itwill bring out any other spots
(33:19):
for them to come up to thesurface to then peel off and
heal.
And he was really pushing thechemo cream, you know, and he
was kind of pushing it And I itfelt like at the time that I was
kind of being more coerced intodoing the chemo cream instead
of him and to sit there and haveto freeze off each one of these
(33:43):
spots, which would have takenmore time for him, and of course
I didn't know the difference.
So I went with what hesuggested and he was kind of,
again, just kind of forced, notforcing, but suggesting that I
do the chemo cream, stronglysuggesting, strongly suggesting
(34:04):
yes, well, so I went home withthe chemo cream and you know I
started with the cream and it'sa 30 day process, yes, and day
after day, i mean just theburning, the spots that came out
, and I documented this all onmy Instagram page.
It's under the highlight ofchemo cream, but you could see
(34:28):
my face transforming.
It was so painful, so painful,and you know whether it was the
right choice or not.
I wish in hindsight I had hadthe confidence to ask more
questions.
I was still in it.
I was still trying to justsurvive and kind of get through
(34:51):
my days, you know.
So I was still in it.
I hadn't gained the hindsightyet.
Yeah, but in hindsight I wouldsay I needed the confidence to
speak up and to ask morequestions, to get more clarity
so that I could make a betterinformed decision.
I feel like it was a littlerushed and I didn't really take
(35:13):
the time to or I didn't commandthat.
The doctor took the time toshare with me more, which is a
common story for a lot of us,Absolutely it is.
Lorie Tesny (35:23):
Yeah, I think you're afraid.
You're afraid to say anythingbecause you don't want the
answer that you might get.
You're putting a lot of weightin the doctor's opinion because
they're the doctor.
The freeze thing that happenswhen you're in the office at an
appointment and you just kind ofblank out.
It's a hard place to be And Ithink over time, if you can
(35:45):
speak up about one thing, thenmaybe you can say something else
And you'll start realizing thatthe more proactive you are, the
better experience you have.
Bronwyn Davis (35:55):
Yes, yes, and I have since, since that time,
because I knew, i knew afterthat, ooh, that was a time for
me to speak up And I didn't.
So I didn't have the confidencethat I've been working now on
my confidence.
Actually, confidence is alearned skill.
It's not something we're bornwith, it's something we have to
(36:17):
learn.
So I started pushing myself tostart speaking up in all areas
of my life And really Well,don't you?
Lorie Tesny (36:24):
have to just figure out how to trust yourself When
you think the thing you think,don't?
you just need to listen.
Bronwyn Davis (36:31):
Yes, yes And listen to your intuition, listen
to your gut and go with it andthen have the confidence to act
on it and to speak it.
That's where the confidencecomes in.
It's because, yes, here we'vegotten really close to our
intuition and our heart and ourgut.
(36:53):
We're getting to know itintimately, through the clarity,
through the control and throughthe charge, and now it's like
really getting to the pointwhere we're listening and then
we're actually acting on what itis we hear.
And that's not always easy,that isn't.
But I've been in these last sixmonths really really pushing
(37:17):
myself, putting myself insituations, because I wanna
strengthen this muscle ofconfidence.
So I've been putting myself insituations where in the past
would be scary, or I don't wannaspeak up, or I don't wanna make
a fuss, or whatever.
And I am speaking up and I amtaking back my control and I am
(37:40):
standing up with confidence,which leads us to our fifth C,
which is drum roll, Community.
You know we have laced the wordcommunity throughout all of this
.
To come to now the importanceof community and coaching if
(38:05):
that's something someone wouldlike To get, that one-on-one
coaching or even group coaching,the education, everything is
tied up in community and there'sjust no other.
There's no way to get around it.
I mean, the studies show thatthose in community heal faster,
so it's an important componentto all this, yeah, i agree.
(38:28):
So I wanna hear from you, lori,like, what is community?
I know you've benefited greatlyfrom having your community
around you, from all of us beingaround each other.
Lorie Tesny (38:41):
When you hear from other people their experience.
You may not be going throughthe exact same thing, but I
think people understand and youdon't feel so obligated to
defend yourself or explainyourself or try to make sense of
it all.
There's a unspokenunderstanding that happens in a
community.
You feel accepted for who youare.
(39:02):
You don't have to prove who youare, you don't have to prove
what you're trying to do, itjust is and it relieves a lot of
pressure off yourself.
It relieves a lot of thatstress.
Nobody needs more stress,especially going through a
cancer fight.
You don't need that.
You're trying to alleviate thatAnd so being a part of the
community takes part of thatweight off of you and it
distributes it through thatcommunity and everybody else can
(39:24):
help you hold that up And Ithink the power that that has,
where you can be vulnerable andtrust that somebody else will
hear you at another level, thatmany people that aren't part of
that similar community wouldWe're all in this together.
Bronwyn Davis (39:44):
Yes, we all get to lean on each other.
We're all supporting each other, as we are all healing.
As one heals, we're all healing.
It is the most powerful thingthat we can do for ourselves is
to not think that we have to dothis alone, because we don't.
(40:05):
We absolutely do not.
Lorie Tesny (40:09):
I love the energy you have behind what you're
doing, because I know howimportant this is.
As we know, skin cancer is alittle bit different, and not
that we want it to be, it's theway it is.
I think being more intentionalwith how you pursue that, how
you reach out to people, andbeing more specific on that is
(40:31):
very important.
It really does make adifference.
Bronwyn Davis (40:36):
Thank you, thank you.
I'm so blessed that I have beenable to blend 20 years of
coaching career coaching highperformers all over the world.
Especially in the last fiveyears as a certified
high-performance coach, i'vehelped hundreds of women and men
high performers from all overthe world go to their next level
(41:00):
of greatness.
I'm using now all those skillsto help those in this community.
What I'm seeing evolve is thatmore and more people from all
cancers are starting to join mypage at Coach Bronwyn.
More and more are seeing thebenefits of what I'm talking
(41:23):
about.
Although it originated, thefoundation was in skin cancer.
That's my first passion, butnow all people with cancer are
starting to see that these arethings that can help all of us
rise up.
I love being a coach because,again, my purpose in life is to
(41:45):
help people transform theirlives.
When I see these people have abreakthrough and they're able to
see things a little bitdifferently than they may have
when we first got on our call,it just juices me.
This is why I was put on thisearth.
I love what I do.
Lorie Tesny (42:04):
I'm so grateful to you for taking time today to
talk to us and reach out to thelisteners, the audience, those
people who are struggling rightnow to find answers, to make
sense of all this, to live adifferent life, because we all
know how it feels when you getsucked into this world.
I am just so thankful andhonored to have you here.
Bronwyn Davis (42:27):
Thank you, laurie .
Thank you And thank you foragain just creating this safe
space for all of us to come andhear your podcast.
Every single one of yourpodcasts is uplifting and
healing.
It just makes us not feel soalone.
I just applaud you for the workthat you are doing here, Laurie
(42:49):
.
You are an amazing woman andjust such an important part of
this community.
Thank you, thank you.
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