August 31, 2023 • 29 mins
We often gaze at the lives of others through window panes, seeing only the perfection they display. But what if we told you that behind those closed doors, the reality is far from perfect? That's precisely the kind of powerful insight our guest, Kara Bitar, shares in this episode. Kara embarked on an extraordinary journey of self-discovery, turning her back on her career to conquer her fears and find her true self.
Kara's tale is not just inspirational but filled with wisdom on how to navigate major life shifts. Imagine leaving a secure job, stepping into the unknown, with no plan in sight! Sounds terrifying, right? But, sometimes, these hard decisions can lead you to a path of happiness, self-understanding, and stress management. Together, we get into the importance of making such life changes a priority and unravel the surprising outcomes that can arise when you embark on an exploration of self.
Our conversation doesn't just end at self-discovery. We dive into the transformative power of growth, the role of a supportive community, and the impact it can have on your journey. Be ready to learn how to navigate through oceans of stress, make empowered choices, and continue to make a difference in someone's life. This episode is not just about listening to an extraordinary tale of transformation, but about feeling inspired to seize the helm of your own life, to take those bold steps into the unknown, and embrace the uncertainties that lie ahead. Come along for this incredible journey of self-discovery, transformation, and growth.
You can learn more about Kara and her programs on her website www.karanicolebitar.com
To hear to full episode: Navigating Through the Ocean of Stress to Find a Life You Love
How do you sail through life? Join me on this endeavor! Support the show. I would love to grow this amazing support community.
If you have any thoughts on today’s episode, or topics you’d like me to further touch on, reach me through my WEBSITE at SailingThroughLifePodcast.com
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Music Credit: Alex_MakeMusic
** Sailing Through Life Podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All content is for general informational purposes only. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lorie Tesny (00:00):
Ever have that nagging sensation that something
is amiss lurking beneath thesurface, waiting to be unearthed
.
It's a thought that many canrelate to as we navigate the
complexities of our daily lives.
Today, we embrace the unknownthrough self-discovery and
taking back control.
Hello and welcome to SailingThrough Life.
(00:26):
I'm Lori, your host and friend.
Join me as I shareconversations that give you hope
through the storms of life.
You'll find inspiration throughthe experiences of my guests,
as well as hearing my own crazy,wonderful adventure.
Create the life you desire bydiscovering new ways to focus on
your health and well-beingthrough modifying your habits
(00:49):
and improving your mindset.
Let's sail with me on thisjourney to realize the strength
and resilience you have inside.
Let us show you how, as yousail through life.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you for sharing your timewith me today.
(01:11):
You are so important to me andI'm so grateful to you for being
here.
I hope to continue to bringinspiration to your day every
day.
Want to be a part of the crew.
Support us by sharing the showwith friends and family and by
making a contributionfinancially to help us continue
to grow the show.
You can learn more atsailingthroughlifepodcastcom.
(01:38):
Life is often portrayed asperfect, with people only
sharing the good times and thehappy moments, but behind closed
doors, the reality is oftenvery different.
People are struggling with allsorts of issues.
Sometimes it's the smallestthings that give it away, like a
hesitation in a smile, sadnessin their eyes or a moment of
(01:59):
vulnerability.
It's important to remember thateveryone is fighting their own
battles, even if they don't showit.
How often do we stop and ponderour own life choices?
Are we truly living or justgoing through the motions, like
actors on a stage reciting linesfrom a script?
(02:19):
These questions linger in theback of our minds, calling us to
think about the paths we'vetaken, the decisions we've made
and the dreams we've left behind.
Kara Bitar, an accomplishedattorney, knew the feelings all
too well.
She bravely traded her legalcareer for an uncertain future,
(02:40):
hoping to find fulfillment andhappiness.
Today she's sharing herextraordinary tale of
self-discovery andtransformation, from her
courageous decision to leave herjob without a plan to finding
solace in disciplining her mindto conquer her fears.
As you dive deeper into Kara'sstory, you'll find yourself
(03:02):
contemplating the choices you'vemade, both big and small.
You may discover hidden desiresand ambitions that have been
buried beneath the weight ofeveryday responsibilities.
You may realize that it's nevertoo late to redirect your
course and pursue the dreamsthat have long been whispering
in your ear.
Every moment, we are remindedof the remarkable potential that
(03:27):
lies within each of us.
It's a gentle reminder that thejourney we embark on, embracing
our uniqueness and celebratingthe vibrancy of our lives, our
imperfections well, rather thanbeing flaws, are actually
opportunities to showcase ourresilience, our growth and our
unwavering spirit.
(03:48):
They are the stepping stones onthe path to our most authentic
and radiant selves.
By the end of this conversation,you'll be left with a sense of
wonder and inspiration.
You'll feel compelled to seizethe helm of your own life, to
take those bold steps toward theunknown and to embrace
(04:09):
uncertainties that lie ahead.
Life is meant to be lived, notmerely endured, and that
sometimes it is in the unchartedterritories where the most
remarkable transformations occur.
Join us on this extraordinaryjourney of self-discovery, as
Cara encourages us, to all writeour own story and embrace the
(04:34):
beauty of the unknown.
Grab hold of your dreams,embark on new adventures and let
the winds of change carry youto places you could never have
imagined possible.
The wheel is in your hand, thevessel is all set, and it's time
to live a life worthy of theadventure.
Hi Cara, thank you for joiningme.
Kara Bitar (05:02):
Hi Lori, I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Lorie Tesny (05:06):
Well, I'm excited about this conversation and I'm
glad that we are able to discusslife changes and how to move
through them to live our bestlives.
Stress is overwhelming at timesand exists in just about
everyone's life.
So it could be health related,it could be a job, it could be
family concerns, but it's a veryintense time and what we need
(05:30):
to understand is how to getthrough the stress.
How do we navigate through thatocean to find a life we really
love?
So I wanted to have you on heretoday, cara, to share your
experience of going through thisbig transformation in your own
life and what caused that shiftto happen for you.
Kara Bitar (05:49):
Yeah.
So I basically planned andprepared pretty much my entire
life to become an attorney and Iworked really hard to that end.
Even in high school I was veryfocused.
I graduated with highest honorsand then I went on to college.
I graduated summa cum laude andI published in a law journal
(06:12):
while I was an undergrad.
I went on to Duke Law on ascholarship.
I published while I was there.
From there I was recruited byand I did end up taking a job
with one of the largest lawfirms in the southeast and I was
(06:33):
a corporate litigator.
So we did high stakes corporatelitigation and in addition to
that I also did a lot of probono work for victims of
domestic violence and I waseventually named the head of the
firm's pro bono domesticviolence project.
So I worked and planned andprepared my whole life to become
(06:57):
an attorney and I did in factbecome an attorney and if you
were to look at my life itlooked like I had everything I
was just going to say.
Lorie Tesny (07:08):
From the outside, you're thinking this is awesome.
Look at what she's accomplished.
She put her mind to it, she gotit done.
Kara Bitar (07:17):
Yeah, for sure.
I mean on paper and just likelooking at my life.
It just looked like I hadeverything.
And even when I looked at mylife, I have everything that I
thought I wanted.
I have everything that I workedso hard for.
I have all of it.
I was making a lot of money andI felt very respected and
(07:38):
appreciated by my colleagues andI'm doing this significant
legal work.
And even though I had all ofthese things on paper and other
people looking in at my life, itlooked so good.
I was deeply unhappy.
It was, quite frankly,confusing because but I have
everything that I thought Iwanted.
(08:00):
I have everything that Ithought was important and I have
everything that, quite frankly,other people told me was
important and told me would makeme happy.
I had all of it.
When I was going throughcollege and law school, I didn't
love it.
I was not in love with thoseexperiences, but I kept being
like once I make it, once Ibecome an attorney, then I'll be
(08:24):
happy, then I'll feel worthyand valuable and I'll feel
fulfilled in my life.
And so when I finally got there, it was why don't I feel these
ways that I thought I was goingto feel and I had so many
moments where I felt just quitefrankly, hopeless.
I have everything, I haveeverything and I'm not happy.
Lorie Tesny (08:46):
I almost feel like you were disconnected from
yourself.
You were looking at yourselffrom another place.
Kara Bitar (08:54):
Yeah, it was an interesting experience because I
was observing myself have allthese things that I thought I
wanted, and yet there was thisother part of me that was like
I'm so unhappy, and so it wasthis divide, in a sense.
And then, of course, there wasthis but I should be happy, I
should be happy.
I blamed myself, in a way, fornot being, and I looked around
(09:17):
and I'm like other people can dothis.
So it was confusing.
I didn't have a lot of mentalclarity.
I didn't understand why I wasso unhappy, but I was.
Lorie Tesny (09:28):
And what was that moment like, when you started to
put those pieces together as towhy you weren't happy?
Kara Bitar (09:36):
While I was working, I didn't have a clear
understanding of that.
I mean, part of me was like,okay, it's the job.
Part of me was like, as much asthis job was like a prestigious
job, as much as I was making alot of money, we still worked a
lot.
It was a high pressure, highstress job.
So there's this part of methat's like well, maybe if I
(09:59):
didn't have this job, maybe if Iwas away from all of this
stress and this pressure, maybethen I would feel better and be
happy.
But at the same time there wasthis part of me that was you
know, that's not the problem andif I were to just switch jobs,
for instance because I couldhave I mean, I had a great
resume if I wanted to getanother job, like I could have,
(10:20):
the firm would have even helpedme get another job if I wanted.
But it was like there was apart of me that was like it's
going to be different faces,different places, but I'm going
to feel the same.
And so it wasn't like I hadthis great clarity.
I didn't.
But eventually what I did do isI did leave that job and it was
(10:41):
one of the hardest things I'veever done, and I did something
that, quite frankly, I don'tknow if anybody at that firm has
ever done, which is I left thatjob without a plan.
I did not know what my futurewas going to hold.
I did not know what I was goingto do once I left that job.
I just knew something in mylife has to change, and this is
(11:02):
the biggest thing in my life,and I think it's this thing that
has to change.
There was a part of me thatbelieved there was more, that I
could have a differentexperience, even though I had
never I didn't know that forsure, but it was like something
there was.
I mean, now that I look back onit, I do have more clarity.
I really was being reallyinternally guided.
I was being shown in a way likethere is more.
(11:25):
You know what I mean.
There is more for you.
There is more to life.
You can have a differentexperience, other people can
have a different experience, butat the time I didn't know that.
I didn't know exactly what washappening.
Lorie Tesny (11:38):
Right, and I think the important thing to make this
relative is you can take thesame situation and not have it
be that you walked away from ajob, it could be that you got
sick, it could be somethinghappened in your family.
It's that same major shiftthat's happening and you're
trying to figure out what it isthat you're going to do and how
(12:00):
do you figure out the next stepfor yourself.
It's not easy, it's very scaryand there's a lot of things that
are involved in that, but youhave to do the thing that leads
you to your best life and it'snot realistic for everybody to
just quit their job and dosomething different.
But it's what you're gonna betalking about that will help
(12:23):
that shift, for other people toget to living their best lives
without having to be pushed intoa corner and figure out the
best way to process their livesand get through things.
Kara Bitar (12:36):
Yeah, for sure, I really.
I'm quite frankly surprisedmyself by what I'm doing now.
I did not see this at all, butit did become.
Once I kind of went througheverything and started to
realize, oh wow, we can havesuch a different experience.
It really has become a missionof mine to really help other
(12:59):
people so that they can have adifferent experience, they can
live a life that they love,without having to go through the
confusion that I went through.
And also, too, it just it tookme a long time.
It was like a lot of like kindof turmoil and suffering and
hardship and confusion, and youknow, it doesn't have to be that
(13:20):
way for other people.
And yes, I did leave my job,but my job was not the problem.
The problem was I lacked anunderstanding of myself, I
lacked an understanding of who Iwas, I lacked an understanding
of how I functioned.
And so you know, yes, I didleave my job, but does everyone
have to do that?
Certainly not.
(13:40):
You can transform your liferight where you are and did the
stress of your job.
Lorie Tesny (13:48):
how much did that factor into leaving?
Did that feed the unhappiness?
Kara Bitar (13:55):
I think to a certain extent it did, but really the
issue was really like, quitefrankly, I like being challenged
by life.
Do you know what I mean?
I like challenges, I like doingnew things, I like seeing what
I'm capable of.
I didn't really have thenervous system capacity to
(14:16):
handle that stress and which Ithat's something that I've
worked a lot on is like mynervous system and the strength
and balance of my nervous system.
When we really understandourselves and we understand how
we function, there are ways wecan handle stress, and what ends
up happening is these thingsthat seemed so stressful, hard
and bad.
(14:37):
What they can actually turninto is something that
challenges us, is something thatexcites us, is something that
energizes us, and so I didn'treally have the tools and the
understanding of myself toreally handle that stress in the
way that I could have.
So I think you like yes, thestress did factor in to a
(14:57):
certain extent to how I felt,just because I really didn't
understand how to handle it and,at the same time, too, I didn't
understand really what my giftsand my talents were like, the
things in life that reallyenergized me, the things in life
that really flowed for me.
I didn't really understand myown creativity.
(15:18):
It was like I just, you know, Ikind of like tried to fit
myself into this mold or thisbox, or like what I thought
other people thought wasimportant, and it was like I
just was like I'm in thisenvironment, this is what I
chose, this is what I think Ineed to do, and it was like was
that really the thing for?
Lorie Tesny (15:33):
me, and I think that shows the importance of
when you are going throughsomething, how you really do
have to make that a priority.
I know, between going throughhealth challenges and walking
away from, like you were saying,that you get, so it's almost
like an addiction to theadrenaline and the drive and
pushing yourself, and when youstop, it's somebody unhooks the
(15:56):
battery from you and you're likewhy, I'm not this, I'm this
person, I can keep going, I cankeep pushing myself, and you go
through a phase where you'rejust like I don't have energy
for anything.
What is wrong with me?
And so you've learned that thatdysfunction that you were
operating in has really messedwith you, and so there's effort
(16:18):
that's going to need to be putinto it to help you get to that
next place.
Kara Bitar (16:24):
Yeah, absolutely.
But I will tell you I was evenmore surprised after I spent a
year and a half of, just like Isaid, trying to find answers.
I trained in a number ofmodalities, like to become a
practitioner in them.
I researched, I read, I studied, I went and saw different
(16:47):
healers, I took differentcourses and classes, and I did
this for a year and a halfstraight.
And then, when I say I did it, Ireally did it.
It wasn't like I was doingother things or I was so hyper
focused on this.
So after a year and a half Iwas in, I would say, worse
health than I was after I leftmy job and I felt worse about
(17:08):
myself the longer I kept goingalong and things aren't getting
better.
I mean, it really turned intoone of the darkest moments of my
life, even when I was working.
If there was this part of methat was, if you tried something
different, you would find theanswers.
Do you know what I mean?
And now it's like I actuallydid it.
And here I am.
(17:29):
My health is worse, I feel evenworse about myself and I really
had this like, oh my goodness,what I am searching for does not
exist.
This experience that we're inthis life it's not great.
You'll have moments of joy hereand there, but there are just
moments of joy here and there,and then you're also going to
sacrifice and struggle and likework hard and just try to
(17:51):
survive.
You know what I mean.
Lorie Tesny (17:54):
And so I'm at this year and a half mark now and I'm
like, oh my goodness, maybethere isn't more, maybe this is
it so yeah, I can relate whereyou feel like you're just in
this hole and you have what youthought was the thing isn't, and
so what you put all your effortinto isn't panning out.
(18:16):
And so now, what do you do?
Kara Bitar (18:19):
Right, and so if I wanted to go back and practice
law, I could have, and I thoughtabout it, but there was this
part of me that was like keepgoing, just keep going, keep
trying stuff.
Eventually I found Kundaliniyoga and I didn't know like I
had done yoga for years but Ihad never heard of like
Kundalini yoga.
I didn't know what Kundaliniyoga was and I mean the whole
(18:42):
time really, I had just beenlike, if you know, I'll try
whatever I try to class on dayand the class, quite frankly,
seemed really odd to me.
But after the class I felt Ifelt different, like noticeably
different, yeah.
And so I kept taking classesand the more classes I took, the
better I felt.
(19:02):
It was like the aches and painsin my body they started to go
away.
I started to feel moreclear-minded, I started to feel
more energized and I started tofeel inspired.
And so I went on to train, to becertified, to teach, and I
didn't do it necessarilythinking that I would teach.
(19:23):
I just was like I want to knowmore about this thing.
That's changing my life.
And so the more I learned aboutit and the more I did it, the
more my life started to change,the more mental clarity that I
got, the more inspired that Ifelt, the more kind of energized
that I felt.
(19:44):
I was able to then look back onall of those things that I had
done, and it was like Iunderstood, oh, this is why
these things didn't work.
And then I started tounderstand, well, what then
would work.
And it really was like I becamereally inspired.
At the same time, it was like Iwas utilizing, though, all the
(20:07):
experiences that I had had and Istarted to just realize, well,
if I did this, I wonder whatwould happen.
Or if I did this, I think thiswould really move the dial for
me, and what ended up happeningwas I then started to transform
my life even more.
Things just really started tochange for me, and now I can
(20:28):
tell you, I have.
I have transformed every aspectof my life.
I have transformed myrelationships with my family, my
relationship with my husband.
I have transformed myrelationship with my body.
I have transformed my health.
I have transformed really myown relationship with myself and
(20:48):
how I experience thisexperience.
Lorie Tesny (20:53):
It's so intriguing to me to think about.
You know everybody is here,regardless of how you want to
live it.
It's your life, but you have tomake the effort to make the
changes and be disciplined aboutit and really practice it and
not just try it once and give up.
There's things that have tohappen over a span of time.
(21:14):
Anytime somebody feels fear,you're right.
The automatic responses go theother way and you know the
feeling you would get if youwent through it to know you
conquered it instead of runningaway from it all the time.
That reprogramming isinvaluable.
Yeah, it is the whole reasonwe're talking today is how do
(21:35):
you get through those things tofeel better, to live a better
life and I know it's oneverybody's radar, to feel
better, because everybody I talkto has been through something.
They're always working and it'san ever-evolving thing, but you
still have to keep trying.
You still have to make thoseefforts to do that.
Kara Bitar (21:56):
Yeah, certainly, and it's so worth it.
It is so worth it.
People can have such adifferent experience and, at the
same time that I say, thesethings take effort and they take
commitment and they takestepping into things that are
uncomfortable and they takestepping into things that you
may be fearful of.
You don't have to do it alone.
What I do now is I basically Ihelp people so that they don't
(22:20):
have to go through what I wentthrough, the turmoil that I went
through.
It's what I do in my currentwork and in my current programs
is I lay things out for peoplein this really efficient and
effective way, so that it's likeI've already gone through it
all, like other people don'thave to.
I've already done that, andthis is such a great thing about
being in community.
(22:40):
This is such the great thingabout being with other people
and being able to pull on theirgifts and their talents and
their experiences.
It's like I went through it andso now you don't have to.
What my programs are ultimatelyabout, what my work is
ultimately about, is peopleunderstanding who they are and
how they function.
People might be listening andbe like I know who I am, I know
(23:03):
how I function and I would say,yeah, I would have said the same
thing.
But what I would just like tooffer is that if you're living
in states of stress, if you'reliving in states of overwhelm,
if you're living in states oflow energy, where you feel like
life is just depleting you, ifyou're living in states where
(23:25):
life feels like monotony or agrind or hard work, or if you're
living in states of low levelsof joy, where it's like you know
, I experienced joy, maybe here,maybe there, maybe on a weekend
I would say you actually havemisunderstandings about who you
are and how you function, likethat is not your fundamental
nature.
Your fundamental nature is oneof love, it is one of abundance,
(23:48):
it is one of creativity, it isone of power.
And when you really step intowhat I call the truth of who you
are, you really step intoknowing who you are and how you
function, your life can betransformed.
You step out of the confusionand you step into clarity.
(24:10):
It's like I understand now whoI am, I understand how I
function, I understand how I getthe results that I want and I
understand why I've been gettingmaybe other results and at the
same time, I understand I thinktoo, there's a lot of confusion
where people it's like they lookaround at other people and it's
(24:30):
like I work super hard, whydon't I have what this other
person has?
It's confusing and it's likewhen we really step into an
understanding of who we are andhow we function, we step into
clarity.
We also step into our own power, because now it's like I
understand how I get the resultsthat I want.
(24:52):
I also understand how I createthe way I feel.
Like people think that they'renot in control of how they feel.
It's like these things are justhappening to them.
In truth, you actually have alot of control.
You have the ultimate controlover how you feel.
The thing is, when I look at mylife, I almost feel like I've
lived two lives in one life.
(25:14):
It's so different.
But I look back and I think, ohmy goodness, I could have
missed this.
I could have missed thisexperience that I'm currently
having now.
I could have missed getting toknow myself.
I could have missedunderstanding and experiencing
my own creativity.
I could have missed themagnificence of this experience.
(25:38):
We're not here just to survive.
You can revel in thisexperience.
You can revel in your ownmagnificence and your own
creativity.
That is possible for peopleComing through.
Lorie Tesny (25:51):
I feel that from you, the calm and the
reassurance of that is trulycoming through from what you're
saying.
I want to thank you becauseevery day people need
reassurance and people reallystruggle in life To have the
opportunity to have the exposureto something they may not have
(26:15):
known about.
Because there's so much outthere, it's so hard for people
to discern what is really goingto be the thing.
It's hard when you keep goingthrough different avenues and
they don't pay off, like youfound out, to have something to
truly focus on and try.
This is all encompassing whatyou're talking about.
(26:38):
It's transformative beyond whatmost people can even understand
.
Kara Bitar (26:45):
Yeah, it's like you don't know until you know, we
can intellectualize about thisstuff all day, but knowing comes
from experience, the energythat I'm feeling right now is
incredible.
Lorie Tesny (26:58):
It's so hopeful.
I can feel just thepossibilities are there.
I want to thank you for givingme the opportunity to learn more
what you've now shared withother people that may not have
had any idea about what you'redoing and how much it can really
help them, because I know thereare a lot of people, like I
(27:20):
said, that are struggling rightnow and suffering through life.
Thank you, kara, you've beenamazing.
Thank you, I really appreciateyour time today.
Kara Bitar (27:29):
Thank, you so much for having me.
This was so fun.
I so enjoyed it.
Lorie Tesny (27:36):
Kara's journey is an embodiment of the powerful
human spirit.
But it's not just thechallenges that Kara unveils in
her journey, it's thetransformative power that they
held.
Each obstacle she encounteredbecame an opportunity for growth
, a chance to broaden herhorizons and discover new facets
(27:56):
of her own capabilities.
Her journey teaches us thateven in our darkest moments,
there is a light to be found ifwe have the courage to seize it.
Embrace your flaws, celebrateyour imperfections and let your
true self shine through.
In a world that often thriveson superficiality, be the one
(28:18):
who dares to be real, becauseit's in the raw, unfiltered
moments that we find trueconnection and genuine happiness
.
Let go of the need forperfection and instead embrace
the beautifully imperfectjourney that is life.
You can learn more about Karaand her programs on her website
(28:40):
at karennacolle-batarcom.
To hear the complete episodecheck out Navigating Through the
Ocean of Stress to find a lifeyou love.
I'll be sure to include thelinks in the episode description
.
It's time to feel empowered.
It's time to make every choicecount.
(29:00):
If you or someone you careabout would like to share their
experience, or if you know anorganization to help even just
one person, you can message methrough my website Supporting
the show allows us to continueto make a difference in
someone's life.
Just go tosailingthroughlifepodcastcom to
help out.
(29:21):
Stay Anchored, chat with younext time.
Ever have that nagging sensation that something
is amiss lurking beneath thesurface, waiting to be unearthed
.
It's a thought that many canrelate to as we navigate the
complexities of our daily lives.
Today, we embrace the unknownthrough self-discovery and
taking back control.
Hello and welcome to SailingThrough Life.
(00:26):
I'm Lori, your host and friend.
Join me as I shareconversations that give you hope
through the storms of life.
You'll find inspiration throughthe experiences of my guests,
as well as hearing my own crazy,wonderful adventure.
Create the life you desire bydiscovering new ways to focus on
your health and well-beingthrough modifying your habits
(00:49):
and improving your mindset.
Let's sail with me on thisjourney to realize the strength
and resilience you have inside.
Let us show you how, as yousail through life.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you for sharing your timewith me today.
(01:11):
You are so important to me andI'm so grateful to you for being
here.
I hope to continue to bringinspiration to your day every
day.
Want to be a part of the crew.
Support us by sharing the showwith friends and family and by
making a contributionfinancially to help us continue
to grow the show.
You can learn more atsailingthroughlifepodcastcom.
(01:38):
Life is often portrayed asperfect, with people only
sharing the good times and thehappy moments, but behind closed
doors, the reality is oftenvery different.
People are struggling with allsorts of issues.
Sometimes it's the smallestthings that give it away, like a
hesitation in a smile, sadnessin their eyes or a moment of
(01:59):
vulnerability.
It's important to remember thateveryone is fighting their own
battles, even if they don't showit.
How often do we stop and ponderour own life choices?
Are we truly living or justgoing through the motions, like
actors on a stage reciting linesfrom a script?
(02:19):
These questions linger in theback of our minds, calling us to
think about the paths we'vetaken, the decisions we've made
and the dreams we've left behind.
Kara Bitar, an accomplishedattorney, knew the feelings all
too well.
She bravely traded her legalcareer for an uncertain future,
(02:40):
hoping to find fulfillment andhappiness.
Today she's sharing herextraordinary tale of
self-discovery andtransformation, from her
courageous decision to leave herjob without a plan to finding
solace in disciplining her mindto conquer her fears.
As you dive deeper into Kara'sstory, you'll find yourself
(03:02):
contemplating the choices you'vemade, both big and small.
You may discover hidden desiresand ambitions that have been
buried beneath the weight ofeveryday responsibilities.
You may realize that it's nevertoo late to redirect your
course and pursue the dreamsthat have long been whispering
in your ear.
Every moment, we are remindedof the remarkable potential that
(03:27):
lies within each of us.
It's a gentle reminder that thejourney we embark on, embracing
our uniqueness and celebratingthe vibrancy of our lives, our
imperfections well, rather thanbeing flaws, are actually
opportunities to showcase ourresilience, our growth and our
unwavering spirit.
(03:48):
They are the stepping stones onthe path to our most authentic
and radiant selves.
By the end of this conversation,you'll be left with a sense of
wonder and inspiration.
You'll feel compelled to seizethe helm of your own life, to
take those bold steps toward theunknown and to embrace
(04:09):
uncertainties that lie ahead.
Life is meant to be lived, notmerely endured, and that
sometimes it is in the unchartedterritories where the most
remarkable transformations occur.
Join us on this extraordinaryjourney of self-discovery, as
Cara encourages us, to all writeour own story and embrace the
(04:34):
beauty of the unknown.
Grab hold of your dreams,embark on new adventures and let
the winds of change carry youto places you could never have
imagined possible.
The wheel is in your hand, thevessel is all set, and it's time
to live a life worthy of theadventure.
Hi Cara, thank you for joiningme.
Kara Bitar (05:02):
Hi Lori, I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Lorie Tesny (05:06):
Well, I'm excited about this conversation and I'm
glad that we are able to discusslife changes and how to move
through them to live our bestlives.
Stress is overwhelming at timesand exists in just about
everyone's life.
So it could be health related,it could be a job, it could be
family concerns, but it's a veryintense time and what we need
(05:30):
to understand is how to getthrough the stress.
How do we navigate through thatocean to find a life we really
love?
So I wanted to have you on heretoday, cara, to share your
experience of going through thisbig transformation in your own
life and what caused that shiftto happen for you.
Kara Bitar (05:49):
Yeah.
So I basically planned andprepared pretty much my entire
life to become an attorney and Iworked really hard to that end.
Even in high school I was veryfocused.
I graduated with highest honorsand then I went on to college.
I graduated summa cum laude andI published in a law journal
(06:12):
while I was an undergrad.
I went on to Duke Law on ascholarship.
I published while I was there.
From there I was recruited byand I did end up taking a job
with one of the largest lawfirms in the southeast and I was
(06:33):
a corporate litigator.
So we did high stakes corporatelitigation and in addition to
that I also did a lot of probono work for victims of
domestic violence and I waseventually named the head of the
firm's pro bono domesticviolence project.
So I worked and planned andprepared my whole life to become
(06:57):
an attorney and I did in factbecome an attorney and if you
were to look at my life itlooked like I had everything I
was just going to say.
Lorie Tesny (07:08):
From the outside, you're thinking this is awesome.
Look at what she's accomplished.
She put her mind to it, she gotit done.
Kara Bitar (07:17):
Yeah, for sure.
I mean on paper and just likelooking at my life.
It just looked like I hadeverything.
And even when I looked at mylife, I have everything that I
thought I wanted.
I have everything that I workedso hard for.
I have all of it.
I was making a lot of money andI felt very respected and
(07:38):
appreciated by my colleagues andI'm doing this significant
legal work.
And even though I had all ofthese things on paper and other
people looking in at my life, itlooked so good.
I was deeply unhappy.
It was, quite frankly,confusing because but I have
everything that I thought Iwanted.
(08:00):
I have everything that Ithought was important and I have
everything that, quite frankly,other people told me was
important and told me would makeme happy.
I had all of it.
When I was going throughcollege and law school, I didn't
love it.
I was not in love with thoseexperiences, but I kept being
like once I make it, once Ibecome an attorney, then I'll be
(08:24):
happy, then I'll feel worthyand valuable and I'll feel
fulfilled in my life.
And so when I finally got there, it was why don't I feel these
ways that I thought I was goingto feel and I had so many
moments where I felt just quitefrankly, hopeless.
I have everything, I haveeverything and I'm not happy.
Lorie Tesny (08:46):
I almost feel like you were disconnected from
yourself.
You were looking at yourselffrom another place.
Kara Bitar (08:54):
Yeah, it was an interesting experience because I
was observing myself have allthese things that I thought I
wanted, and yet there was thisother part of me that was like
I'm so unhappy, and so it wasthis divide, in a sense.
And then, of course, there wasthis but I should be happy, I
should be happy.
I blamed myself, in a way, fornot being, and I looked around
(09:17):
and I'm like other people can dothis.
So it was confusing.
I didn't have a lot of mentalclarity.
I didn't understand why I wasso unhappy, but I was.
Lorie Tesny (09:28):
And what was that moment like, when you started to
put those pieces together as towhy you weren't happy?
Kara Bitar (09:36):
While I was working, I didn't have a clear
understanding of that.
I mean, part of me was like,okay, it's the job.
Part of me was like, as much asthis job was like a prestigious
job, as much as I was making alot of money, we still worked a
lot.
It was a high pressure, highstress job.
So there's this part of methat's like well, maybe if I
(09:59):
didn't have this job, maybe if Iwas away from all of this
stress and this pressure, maybethen I would feel better and be
happy.
But at the same time there wasthis part of me that was you
know, that's not the problem andif I were to just switch jobs,
for instance because I couldhave I mean, I had a great
resume if I wanted to getanother job, like I could have,
(10:20):
the firm would have even helpedme get another job if I wanted.
But it was like there was apart of me that was like it's
going to be different faces,different places, but I'm going
to feel the same.
And so it wasn't like I hadthis great clarity.
I didn't.
But eventually what I did do isI did leave that job and it was
(10:41):
one of the hardest things I'veever done, and I did something
that, quite frankly, I don'tknow if anybody at that firm has
ever done, which is I left thatjob without a plan.
I did not know what my futurewas going to hold.
I did not know what I was goingto do once I left that job.
I just knew something in mylife has to change, and this is
(11:02):
the biggest thing in my life,and I think it's this thing that
has to change.
There was a part of me thatbelieved there was more, that I
could have a differentexperience, even though I had
never I didn't know that forsure, but it was like something
there was.
I mean, now that I look back onit, I do have more clarity.
I really was being reallyinternally guided.
I was being shown in a way likethere is more.
(11:25):
You know what I mean.
There is more for you.
There is more to life.
You can have a differentexperience, other people can
have a different experience, butat the time I didn't know that.
I didn't know exactly what washappening.
Lorie Tesny (11:38):
Right, and I think the important thing to make this
relative is you can take thesame situation and not have it
be that you walked away from ajob, it could be that you got
sick, it could be somethinghappened in your family.
It's that same major shiftthat's happening and you're
trying to figure out what it isthat you're going to do and how
(12:00):
do you figure out the next stepfor yourself.
It's not easy, it's very scaryand there's a lot of things that
are involved in that, but youhave to do the thing that leads
you to your best life and it'snot realistic for everybody to
just quit their job and dosomething different.
But it's what you're gonna betalking about that will help
(12:23):
that shift, for other people toget to living their best lives
without having to be pushed intoa corner and figure out the
best way to process their livesand get through things.
Kara Bitar (12:36):
Yeah, for sure, I really.
I'm quite frankly surprisedmyself by what I'm doing now.
I did not see this at all, butit did become.
Once I kind of went througheverything and started to
realize, oh wow, we can havesuch a different experience.
It really has become a missionof mine to really help other
(12:59):
people so that they can have adifferent experience, they can
live a life that they love,without having to go through the
confusion that I went through.
And also, too, it just it tookme a long time.
It was like a lot of like kindof turmoil and suffering and
hardship and confusion, and youknow, it doesn't have to be that
(13:20):
way for other people.
And yes, I did leave my job,but my job was not the problem.
The problem was I lacked anunderstanding of myself, I
lacked an understanding of who Iwas, I lacked an understanding
of how I functioned.
And so you know, yes, I didleave my job, but does everyone
have to do that?
Certainly not.
(13:40):
You can transform your liferight where you are and did the
stress of your job.
Lorie Tesny (13:48):
how much did that factor into leaving?
Did that feed the unhappiness?
Kara Bitar (13:55):
I think to a certain extent it did, but really the
issue was really like, quitefrankly, I like being challenged
by life.
Do you know what I mean?
I like challenges, I like doingnew things, I like seeing what
I'm capable of.
I didn't really have thenervous system capacity to
(14:16):
handle that stress and which Ithat's something that I've
worked a lot on is like mynervous system and the strength
and balance of my nervous system.
When we really understandourselves and we understand how
we function, there are ways wecan handle stress, and what ends
up happening is these thingsthat seemed so stressful, hard
and bad.
(14:37):
What they can actually turninto is something that
challenges us, is something thatexcites us, is something that
energizes us, and so I didn'treally have the tools and the
understanding of myself toreally handle that stress in the
way that I could have.
So I think you like yes, thestress did factor in to a
(14:57):
certain extent to how I felt,just because I really didn't
understand how to handle it and,at the same time, too, I didn't
understand really what my giftsand my talents were like, the
things in life that reallyenergized me, the things in life
that really flowed for me.
I didn't really understand myown creativity.
(15:18):
It was like I just, you know, Ikind of like tried to fit
myself into this mold or thisbox, or like what I thought
other people thought wasimportant, and it was like I
just was like I'm in thisenvironment, this is what I
chose, this is what I think Ineed to do, and it was like was
that really the thing for?
Lorie Tesny (15:33):
me, and I think that shows the importance of
when you are going throughsomething, how you really do
have to make that a priority.
I know, between going throughhealth challenges and walking
away from, like you were saying,that you get, so it's almost
like an addiction to theadrenaline and the drive and
pushing yourself, and when youstop, it's somebody unhooks the
(15:56):
battery from you and you're likewhy, I'm not this, I'm this
person, I can keep going, I cankeep pushing myself, and you go
through a phase where you'rejust like I don't have energy
for anything.
What is wrong with me?
And so you've learned that thatdysfunction that you were
operating in has really messedwith you, and so there's effort
(16:18):
that's going to need to be putinto it to help you get to that
next place.
Kara Bitar (16:24):
Yeah, absolutely.
But I will tell you I was evenmore surprised after I spent a
year and a half of, just like Isaid, trying to find answers.
I trained in a number ofmodalities, like to become a
practitioner in them.
I researched, I read, I studied, I went and saw different
(16:47):
healers, I took differentcourses and classes, and I did
this for a year and a halfstraight.
And then, when I say I did it, Ireally did it.
It wasn't like I was doingother things or I was so hyper
focused on this.
So after a year and a half Iwas in, I would say, worse
health than I was after I leftmy job and I felt worse about
(17:08):
myself the longer I kept goingalong and things aren't getting
better.
I mean, it really turned intoone of the darkest moments of my
life, even when I was working.
If there was this part of methat was, if you tried something
different, you would find theanswers.
Do you know what I mean?
And now it's like I actuallydid it.
And here I am.
(17:29):
My health is worse, I feel evenworse about myself and I really
had this like, oh my goodness,what I am searching for does not
exist.
This experience that we're inthis life it's not great.
You'll have moments of joy hereand there, but there are just
moments of joy here and there,and then you're also going to
sacrifice and struggle and likework hard and just try to
(17:51):
survive.
You know what I mean.
Lorie Tesny (17:54):
And so I'm at this year and a half mark now and I'm
like, oh my goodness, maybethere isn't more, maybe this is
it so yeah, I can relate whereyou feel like you're just in
this hole and you have what youthought was the thing isn't, and
so what you put all your effortinto isn't panning out.
(18:16):
And so now, what do you do?
Kara Bitar (18:19):
Right, and so if I wanted to go back and practice
law, I could have, and I thoughtabout it, but there was this
part of me that was like keepgoing, just keep going, keep
trying stuff.
Eventually I found Kundaliniyoga and I didn't know like I
had done yoga for years but Ihad never heard of like
Kundalini yoga.
I didn't know what Kundaliniyoga was and I mean the whole
(18:42):
time really, I had just beenlike, if you know, I'll try
whatever I try to class on dayand the class, quite frankly,
seemed really odd to me.
But after the class I felt Ifelt different, like noticeably
different, yeah.
And so I kept taking classesand the more classes I took, the
better I felt.
(19:02):
It was like the aches and painsin my body they started to go
away.
I started to feel moreclear-minded, I started to feel
more energized and I started tofeel inspired.
And so I went on to train, to becertified, to teach, and I
didn't do it necessarilythinking that I would teach.
(19:23):
I just was like I want to knowmore about this thing.
That's changing my life.
And so the more I learned aboutit and the more I did it, the
more my life started to change,the more mental clarity that I
got, the more inspired that Ifelt, the more kind of energized
that I felt.
(19:44):
I was able to then look back onall of those things that I had
done, and it was like Iunderstood, oh, this is why
these things didn't work.
And then I started tounderstand, well, what then
would work.
And it really was like I becamereally inspired.
At the same time, it was like Iwas utilizing, though, all the
(20:07):
experiences that I had had and Istarted to just realize, well,
if I did this, I wonder whatwould happen.
Or if I did this, I think thiswould really move the dial for
me, and what ended up happeningwas I then started to transform
my life even more.
Things just really started tochange for me, and now I can
(20:28):
tell you, I have.
I have transformed every aspectof my life.
I have transformed myrelationships with my family, my
relationship with my husband.
I have transformed myrelationship with my body.
I have transformed my health.
I have transformed really myown relationship with myself and
(20:48):
how I experience thisexperience.
Lorie Tesny (20:53):
It's so intriguing to me to think about.
You know everybody is here,regardless of how you want to
live it.
It's your life, but you have tomake the effort to make the
changes and be disciplined aboutit and really practice it and
not just try it once and give up.
There's things that have tohappen over a span of time.
(21:14):
Anytime somebody feels fear,you're right.
The automatic responses go theother way and you know the
feeling you would get if youwent through it to know you
conquered it instead of runningaway from it all the time.
That reprogramming isinvaluable.
Yeah, it is the whole reasonwe're talking today is how do
(21:35):
you get through those things tofeel better, to live a better
life and I know it's oneverybody's radar, to feel
better, because everybody I talkto has been through something.
They're always working and it'san ever-evolving thing, but you
still have to keep trying.
You still have to make thoseefforts to do that.
Kara Bitar (21:56):
Yeah, certainly, and it's so worth it.
It is so worth it.
People can have such adifferent experience and, at the
same time that I say, thesethings take effort and they take
commitment and they takestepping into things that are
uncomfortable and they takestepping into things that you
may be fearful of.
You don't have to do it alone.
What I do now is I basically Ihelp people so that they don't
(22:20):
have to go through what I wentthrough, the turmoil that I went
through.
It's what I do in my currentwork and in my current programs
is I lay things out for peoplein this really efficient and
effective way, so that it's likeI've already gone through it
all, like other people don'thave to.
I've already done that, andthis is such a great thing about
being in community.
(22:40):
This is such the great thingabout being with other people
and being able to pull on theirgifts and their talents and
their experiences.
It's like I went through it andso now you don't have to.
What my programs are ultimatelyabout, what my work is
ultimately about, is peopleunderstanding who they are and
how they function.
People might be listening andbe like I know who I am, I know
(23:03):
how I function and I would say,yeah, I would have said the same
thing.
But what I would just like tooffer is that if you're living
in states of stress, if you'reliving in states of overwhelm,
if you're living in states oflow energy, where you feel like
life is just depleting you, ifyou're living in states where
(23:25):
life feels like monotony or agrind or hard work, or if you're
living in states of low levelsof joy, where it's like you know
, I experienced joy, maybe here,maybe there, maybe on a weekend
I would say you actually havemisunderstandings about who you
are and how you function, likethat is not your fundamental
nature.
Your fundamental nature is oneof love, it is one of abundance,
(23:48):
it is one of creativity, it isone of power.
And when you really step intowhat I call the truth of who you
are, you really step intoknowing who you are and how you
function, your life can betransformed.
You step out of the confusionand you step into clarity.
(24:10):
It's like I understand now whoI am, I understand how I
function, I understand how I getthe results that I want and I
understand why I've been gettingmaybe other results and at the
same time, I understand I thinktoo, there's a lot of confusion
where people it's like they lookaround at other people and it's
(24:30):
like I work super hard, whydon't I have what this other
person has?
It's confusing and it's likewhen we really step into an
understanding of who we are andhow we function, we step into
clarity.
We also step into our own power, because now it's like I
understand how I get the resultsthat I want.
(24:52):
I also understand how I createthe way I feel.
Like people think that they'renot in control of how they feel.
It's like these things are justhappening to them.
In truth, you actually have alot of control.
You have the ultimate controlover how you feel.
The thing is, when I look at mylife, I almost feel like I've
lived two lives in one life.
(25:14):
It's so different.
But I look back and I think, ohmy goodness, I could have
missed this.
I could have missed thisexperience that I'm currently
having now.
I could have missed getting toknow myself.
I could have missedunderstanding and experiencing
my own creativity.
I could have missed themagnificence of this experience.
(25:38):
We're not here just to survive.
You can revel in thisexperience.
You can revel in your ownmagnificence and your own
creativity.
That is possible for peopleComing through.
Lorie Tesny (25:51):
I feel that from you, the calm and the
reassurance of that is trulycoming through from what you're
saying.
I want to thank you becauseevery day people need
reassurance and people reallystruggle in life To have the
opportunity to have the exposureto something they may not have
(26:15):
known about.
Because there's so much outthere, it's so hard for people
to discern what is really goingto be the thing.
It's hard when you keep goingthrough different avenues and
they don't pay off, like youfound out, to have something to
truly focus on and try.
This is all encompassing whatyou're talking about.
(26:38):
It's transformative beyond whatmost people can even understand
.
Kara Bitar (26:45):
Yeah, it's like you don't know until you know, we
can intellectualize about thisstuff all day, but knowing comes
from experience, the energythat I'm feeling right now is
incredible.
Lorie Tesny (26:58):
It's so hopeful.
I can feel just thepossibilities are there.
I want to thank you for givingme the opportunity to learn more
what you've now shared withother people that may not have
had any idea about what you'redoing and how much it can really
help them, because I know thereare a lot of people, like I
(27:20):
said, that are struggling rightnow and suffering through life.
Thank you, kara, you've beenamazing.
Thank you, I really appreciateyour time today.
Kara Bitar (27:29):
Thank, you so much for having me.
This was so fun.
I so enjoyed it.
Lorie Tesny (27:36):
Kara's journey is an embodiment of the powerful
human spirit.
But it's not just thechallenges that Kara unveils in
her journey, it's thetransformative power that they
held.
Each obstacle she encounteredbecame an opportunity for growth
, a chance to broaden herhorizons and discover new facets
(27:56):
of her own capabilities.
Her journey teaches us thateven in our darkest moments,
there is a light to be found ifwe have the courage to seize it.
Embrace your flaws, celebrateyour imperfections and let your
true self shine through.
In a world that often thriveson superficiality, be the one
(28:18):
who dares to be real, becauseit's in the raw, unfiltered
moments that we find trueconnection and genuine happiness
.
Let go of the need forperfection and instead embrace
the beautifully imperfectjourney that is life.
You can learn more about Karaand her programs on her website
(28:40):
at karennacolle-batarcom.
To hear the complete episodecheck out Navigating Through the
Ocean of Stress to find a lifeyou love.
I'll be sure to include thelinks in the episode description
.
It's time to feel empowered.
It's time to make every choicecount.
(29:00):
If you or someone you careabout would like to share their
experience, or if you know anorganization to help even just
one person, you can message methrough my website Supporting
the show allows us to continueto make a difference in
someone's life.
Just go tosailingthroughlifepodcastcom to
help out.
(29:21):
Stay Anchored, chat with younext time.
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