Can I Talk to You?

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That stomach-dropping moment when a service provider says "Can I talk to you?" is something every salon owner dreads. Your mind races to "they're quitting," and suddenly all the training, coaching, and heartfelt investment you've poured into them feels like it's evaporating before your eyes.

But what if these moments weren't failures at all? What if they were necessary transitions creating space for something better? Through powerful real-world stories, we share how one stylist who stayed aligned with our vision completely transformed a client's experience after five previous stylists had moved on. These departures weren't setbacks—they were essential steps toward building the salon we truly wanted.

The hard truth is that not everyone on your team is meant to grow with you. Some people join your salon in survival mode, and no matter how much you coach them, they don't believe a bigger future is possible. Holding onto the belief that departures equal failure will only burn you out and trap you into compromising your standards. Instead, we offer a revolutionary reframe: your salon's success lives in future employees you haven't even met yet.

We provide practical leadership tools for navigating these conversations with grace and strength—from staying calm when you hear those dreaded words to ending with genuine appreciation rather than desperate attempts to convince someone to stay. Because you're not the problem; you're the pattern breaker building something different in an industry full of chaos, low standards, and burnout. On the other side of every goodbye is the space for exactly the right hello your salon needs.

Are you ready to build a team who truly believes what you believe? Visit SalonSuccessSecretsChallengecom to join our next challenge and transform how you lead your salon team.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Salon Success Secrets Podcast,
where we talk all thingsleadership, sales and scaling a
salon company without losingyour soul in the process.
So today's episode is titledCan I Talk to you?
And if that sentence just madeyour stomach drop a little, yeah

(00:22):
, we get it, because every salonowner we know has had that
moment.
You know, a service providerwalks up and, with maybe a
little too much eye contact anda quiet voice, they say can I
talk to you?
And your brain instantly goesto they're quitting.
I just know they're quitting.

(00:44):
So what we're going to talkabout is that today.
So we're going to rewire yourrelationship with this sentence,
not with toxic positivity, butwith real leadership tools,
belief, shifting stories and areminder that success you know,
the success of your company itdoesn't live in the past, it

(01:06):
lives in the people you haven'teven met yet.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
So good.
I think it's a long as we canall think of that one text or
that one conversation.
You're like yep, thought, thatwas coming.
You know, what I like to saytoo is you know they what they
don't tell you about opening asalon?
You know it's not just aboutdoing hair or skin, taking
inventory orders.
You know it's about puttingyour heart on the line.

(01:32):
And if you think about it likewe as salon owners, we pour so
much into our team, there's thecoaching, there's the training,
there's the celebrating, there'sthe helping them hit goals,
it's fighting for theirpotential, it's cheering louder
than they do for themselves.
And then again, on that one,let's say, tuesday afternoon,
walk someone walks in, walksomeone you've mentored for a

(01:54):
year, and they say it can I talkto you?
And it's like an emotionalversion of getting hit by a
truck in a slow motion.
It can be like that.
But let me tell you a realstory.
This just happened.
This happened to me and I'msure you can relate to it.
As one of our service providers,someone who we've coached for
months pulls me aside and she'sputting in her notice, her

(02:17):
reason.
She says it's impossible to hitthe goals we set to earn for
her next career promotion.
Her tone is heavy, her mind isalready made up and in that
moment my heart dropped, butonly for a second, because I
knew the truth.
In fact, in that exact samemonth, five other people were

(02:38):
already on track to hit thosesame goals, and one of them had
just started with us threemonths earlier.
So in that moment I could havequestioned everything, lowered
the standards, started,spiraling into self-doubt.
But here's what I learned is wecan't always change someone's
belief, even when the dataproves what's possible.

(03:01):
But that doesn't mean we lowerthe bar.
It means we get clearer aboutwhat the bar is for.
We keep the vision, we findmore people who believe it is
possible.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I love that story and you know, jen, we obviously
just talked recently about thisbecause I had the exact same
situation happen with me.
And you know, I just want tosay something out loud that most
people are afraid to admit, andyou know that's not everyone on
your team is meant to grow withyou.

(03:34):
Let me say that again Noteveryone on your team is meant
to grow with you, because somepeople joined your salon in
survival mode and, no matter howmuch you coach them, they don't
believe a bigger future isavailable.
You know, and and here's theold belief that we need to

(03:55):
really break today you knowthat's if someone leaves, it
means I failed.
You guys, that belief will burnyou out, it will make you
question your leadership and itwill trap you into keeping
people who are no longer alignedjust because you're afraid of

(04:16):
what their departure might sayabout you, you know.
So here's a way that we canreframe this.
You know, if someone leaves, itcreates space for someone more
aligned to come in.
You know, because sometimes themost powerful thing you can do
is just bless and release withgrace, with truth, with courage.

(04:37):
You know, because I know thatwe say this a lot.
You know, but your salon islike a temple and we can't let
people come in with dirty feetand expect the energy to stay
clean so good, lindsey.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
you know it has me thinking about a recent review
we got at our salon.
It was for a particular styliston our team, shout out to mary.
And this um client was justraving about mary, about all the
little touch points that shedid the the neck massages, the
blankets, like it.
She was just really impressedwith the experience.
And the thing about this clientis she's been to our salon many

(05:16):
times before.
You know.
In fact she's seen probablyabout five other service
providers, including Mary, inthe last few years at different
times.
And you know what I reallythought about that review is
like I went back to look at hervisits because I wanted to see
okay, well, we're in the salesprocess, could we really use to
support?
And it was so incrediblebecause Mary's the one that's

(05:39):
left on our team, everyone elsethat she had seen before is no
longer on our team, and so likeif that doesn't give you some
power and some freedom, likethey just were not aligning with
what we wanted to create.
But when Mary stepped in andgave that experience, the client
felt that for herself shedidn't even know, probably, that
the service provider she hadseen before were no longer part

(06:01):
of our company but, like that isthe power of the wrong people
moving on, it creates that space, like you were just saying,
lindsay, to really help set thestage for the sales process or
the guest or client experiencethat you're really trying to
create and you are creating inyour salon space.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
That is so powerful, jen, you know it almost makes
you think as a service.
You know, as a, as a salonowner hey, wouldn't that be
great if every negative reviewever disappeared, if that person
moved on.
You know, because it usually issomebody who's not committed to
the vision.
And you know, because itusually is somebody who's not
committed to the vision and youknow, mary is a beautiful
example of somebody who iscommitted to the vision, you

(06:44):
know.
So, let's, let's really zoomout for a second.
And because most salon owners wetalk to are stuck in fix it
mode, you know, they're sofocused on salvaging what's not
working, so focused on salvagingwhat's not working, they forget
that they're not here to justbabysit broken beliefs from
service providers on their team.

(07:05):
You know, because you're reallyhere to build a legacy.
You're here to create a placewhere beauty professionals
thrive.
And if you believe that'spossible, you know we want you
to understand something reallypowerful, that's the success of
your company lies in futureemployees you haven't even met

(07:28):
yet.
Let me say that again, let itreally sink in.
You know the success of yourcompany lies in future employees
you haven't even met yet.
Yes, it stings when someoneleaves, but what if it's a
signal that there's a new personwaiting to find you?
You know, somebody who's hungry, somebody who's aligned and

(07:51):
somebody who's ready for thestandard that you've already set
.
You know, because we we spendso much time trying to convince
someone to believe.
But let's stop chasing beliefin people who don't believe in
themselves and let's attractpeople who already want what
you've built and they're willingto show up for it.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, Can I get an amen to that?
Lindsaysey?
I love that.
When you just said that, italmost sent chills in my body.
It's like let's stop chasingbelief in people who don't
believe in themselves wastingour time.
Gosh, that is just so good.
And if you really can adaptthat belief, wow, the
opportunities it creates for youwill be endless.

(08:37):
And so now that we've kind oftalked it out and like what do I
do when I hear can I talk toyou?
Let's make this practical.
So when someone says can I talkto you, the first thing you can
do is pause and take a deepbreath.
You know that's so powerful.
You don't need to panic, youdon't need to jump to

(08:59):
conclusions and you definitelydon't need to beg.
Here's what you can do insteadis stay calm and neutral.
You know your job is to holdspace, not take it personally.
You know.
Another opportunity is to askcurious questions.
Um, If you feel like they, ifyou feel like you want to learn,

(09:23):
but if you're like, yeah, theyneed to go anyway, Sometimes I'm
just like go on, let's don'task these curious questions.
So one could be like can youtell me what led you to this
decision?
Or what do you feel like ismissing.
This isn't about changing theirmind.
Sometimes it's just aboutclarity.
But I'll say this again If youfeel like they need to move on,
it's a gift, it's the greatestgift that you can give.

(09:44):
It's no use in spending yourtime asking the question and
spending their time listening totheir answer, and so just
remember that and don't promisewhat breaks your standards.
You know, lowering your goalsto keep someone is like
shrinking your crown to fitsomeone else's head, you know.
And the other opportunity is toend with strength.

(10:06):
You know the greatest thing youcan say is thank you.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
You know.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Thank you for everything.
If, uh, you know we wish, wetruly wish you the best.
It's that simple.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
So good.
Thank you for everything.
We truly miss you, or we trulywish you the best.
We don't miss you, no you know,it doesn't mean like hey, um,
occasionally people are justgoing to come in and they're not
right for your culture, andthat is, like Jen mentioned, the
most beautiful gift when thathappens.
Um, and just to wish them wellbecause, hey, just cause they're

(10:41):
not the right fit for youDoesn't mean you know, that they
can't go to clip and curl downthe street and hey, that was
where they were supposed to be,where there's no goals and
there's no standards and you canjust do whatever.
You know, we, we all, arecreating different things.
So just be really clear on whatyou're creating and you know,
miracles will happen, because,you know, if you've ever walked

(11:03):
out of one of thoseconversations, you know, and
you've thought, maybe I'm theproblem, you know, here is your
permission slip to stop, becauseyou're not the problem, you're
the pattern breaker.
You're the one buildingsomething different in an
industry full of chaos, lowstandards and burnout, and that

(11:27):
means sometimes people willleave.
You know, because a lot ofpeople have grown up in
households that have chaos, lowstandards and burnout, and
that's just what they've seentheir whole lives and they don't
see a different path.
You know, but sometimes you'llmeet someone even more
incredible than you everimagined.

(11:48):
Or you'll realize all of theamazing people that you still
get to work with.
You know and, hey, maybe even aformer employee might
eventually realize what they had, or they'll remember that
belief that you had in them onceupon a time.
And even if they don't, that'sokay.
You stayed true to your visionand what you knew was possible

(12:11):
inside the beauty industry.
So next time someone says, canI talk to you, let your inner
voice respond calmly yes,respond calmly, yes.
Yes, you can, because I canhandle it and because on the

(12:32):
other side of every goodbye, isa space for the right Hello.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Space for the right Hello.
I love that.
So, salon owners, if thisepisode hits home, you know,
share it with another salonowner who needs this reminder.
And if you're ready to build ateam who believes what you
believe, join us inside SalonSuccess or sorry, Salon Business
School or Gravacy at our nextchallenge,

(12:56):
SalonSuccessSecretsChallengecom.
Links are in the show notes andwe are so grateful for you and
we'll see you next time on theSalon Success Secrets Podcast.