The Real Reason You're Tired (And How To Fix It)

Send us a text

Ever found yourself constantly pushing your team, feeling drained at the end of each day, wondering why your salon staff just won't "get with the program"? This transformative episode introduces a leadership paradigm shift that could revolutionize how you run your salon and lead your team.

We dive deep into the critical distinction between force and power in salon leadership. Force—that exhausting approach where you're constantly correcting, directing, and making things happen through pressure—delivers short-term results but creates long-term disconnection. Through vivid examples like handling dress code violations and improving rebooking rates, we demonstrate how force might get compliance but ultimately damages the culture you're working so hard to build.

Power, by contrast, is about holding a clear position and helping others rise to it. It's replacing "Go home and change" with "How does this outfit align with the brand we're building?" It's trading threats about performance for genuine curiosity about barriers to success. The most profound leadership insight we share: "The most powerful leaders don't hold it all—they hold a position and let others rise to it." This simple shift can transform not just your team's performance but how you feel about your role as a leader.

Ready to make the shift? We provide practical guidance with our "power practice" to help you identify where you're currently forcing outcomes and make one small shift toward power this week. Whether you're struggling with team compliance, feeling overwhelmed by constant corrections, or simply seeking a more sustainable approach to salon leadership, this heart-centered, strategy-driven episode delivers both inspiration and actionable steps. Share it with other salon leaders who need this message—together, we can bring beauty back to the beauty industry.

Do you have a question for Salon Success Secrets Podcast?

Send a text or leave a voicemail at [phone] or send us an email to [e-mail]. We would love to hear from you.

Start growing in business and leadership with powerful tools, advice and resources in your inbox every week:

Learn more about Salon Business School Events:

Upcoming Events | Salon Business School

Learn more about Salon Business School Coaching:

https://keap.app/contact-us/4732115411329800

Learn more about Salon Business School for Salon & Spa Owners:

https://keap.app/contact-us/8468267787462617

Are you ready to go all in? Join Salon Business School:

Apply to Join Us! | Salon Business School

Listen to all the Salon Success Secrets podcasts anytime, anywhere here:

Podcast | Salon Success Secrets

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome back to the Salon Success Secrets Podcast.
Today we're going to talk aboutsomething that could change the
entire way you lead your team.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
So good.
We're diving deep into thedifference between force and
power, and I promise this isn'tjust a mindset thing.
This is a leadership strategythat can help you finally feel
less drained, less frustratedand more aligned with the

(00:37):
business that you're building.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
So let's kick it off with this.
You know, force is when you useyour energy to make something
move or change, especially whensomething is pushing back or in
the way.
Power, on the other hand, isthe ability to hold and maintain
a position.
It doesn't require pushing, itjust is.
Now think about that in yoursalon.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, so good.
You know, because it's almostlike, have you ever had a team
member you know that's walked inand they've been totally out of
dress code before?
And you know it's like almostlike you feel that it's like
your heart starts to rise upinto your chest and it's like
you want to force thatcorrection.
You know, like, go home andchange.

(01:25):
That's not how you show up here, um, you know, and technically,
if you did that, I guess you'dbe right.
But what happens next is maybethey comply, but under the
surface, what did you reallycreate?
You know you probably createdfear, embarrassment.
You probably created fear,embarrassment, disconnection,

(01:46):
and that's force.
Because now let's look at thatsame moment from a place of
power.
So, instead of reacting, youpull them aside and quietly ask
hey, how do you think that thatoutfit lines up with the brand
that we're building here?
And you just pause and you letthem answer.

(02:08):
You know that is power.
You're still addressing thesame issue, but instead of
creating compliance through fear, you're just helping to create
awareness.
You know, you're invitingalignment.
You're truly holding a positionand letting them rise into it.

(02:28):
You know, because power createschange and force creates
control.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
So good.
And so maybe you're thinking,oh, that sounds great, jen and
Lindsay, but I've got deadlines,I've got goals, I've got
standards.
I don't have time to coddle orbabysit people and hey, we
totally get it.
But you got to ask yourself hasforcing ever really worked long
term?
Have you ever forced someone toupsell retail and they did it

(03:03):
that day, but never again.
That's such you know.
Really think about that.
Or have you ever forced someoneto take more clients and they
hit their numbers but burn outand leave the salon like three
months later?
You know we all have a salonnurse because force is short
term.
Let me say that again becauseit's so powerful.
Force is short term, it'sreactive and it makes us feel

(03:28):
like we're leading, but reallywe're just managing chaos with
that tight grip.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, that managing chaos with that tight grip,
that's a reallying system, youknow, and and they're like.

(03:59):
But I've told them again andagain um, you know, and said
you've got to ask you're losingincome, we're losing clients,
you know.
And so they were like, you know, finally they forced it.
You know, I told her if shedidn't improve her rebooking
numbers by the end of the month,she would lose access to our
guests, you know.
And so in that moment it waslike, okay, you know, they saw

(04:24):
that slight improvement for twoweeks, but then that person
completely shut down.
You know, they stopped showingup with energy and eventually
they quit.
Because, you know it, when youreally look at that situation,
that's, you're not leadingsomebody, you're truly scaring
somebody, you know.
And if you had approached thatsituation with power instead,

(04:49):
you know, and and sat with herand said, you know, tell me why
you're not rebooking, what'sreally going on here, you know
you might have discovered thatthey didn't feel confident.
You know, they needed the rightwords to say, not warnings.
You know, it's like coaching,not consequences.

(05:10):
I think that that's a powerfulexample of the difference
between power and force when itcomes to to having that coaching
conversation with rebooking.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
So good.
I remember that exactconversation I'm seeing.
It was so powerful to hear thatsalon owner forcing that
stylist in that position andthen are doing it for a little
while and then just throwingtheir hands up because it wasn't
, it was forced upon her.
And you know, as human beings,there's one thing is we don't
like to be told what to do.

(05:43):
I've learned that.
So you know, let's think aboutit from the standpoint of like
what does power look like in asalon?
You know, when we think aboutpower, it's like setting a clear
standard and standing by iteven when it's uncomfortable.
It's saying like you know, thisis how we do things around here
.
You're capable of that.
I'll believe in you.
You know, like Lindsay wasmentioning earlier, with the

(06:05):
dress code she gave, the exampleof force would be like why are
you dressed like that?
You've got to go home andchange our stance and be like
hey, tell me what's going ontoday.
Tell me like is this, is thisreally going to serve you to
your highest good?
So it's asking questions likewhat would need to be true for
you to feel proud of how you'vehandled that guest?
Or like what support would helpyou be more consistent?

(06:29):
Or you know, like, do you feelconnected to what we're building
here?
So using questions like what, ordo you feel like it kind of
takes them from a moment of,takes them from their like
subconscious to their consciouspart of their brain and helps
them build a new opportunity?
And so, you know, power is whensomeone walks into a

(06:49):
conversation nervous and walksout inspired.
You know, force tightens theleash.
I feel like, think of it likewalking a dog.
You got that dog on a tightleash, you know.
And power, but power, on theother hand, helps raise the bar.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Hmm, ah, I love that.
That is so true and such a goodvisual.
You know, because I reallythink you know if your
leadership feels heavy, you knowif you're always in meetings
and you're always correcting,always fixing, you're probably
leading with force.
So, and it doesn't mean thatyou're a bad leader, but it does

(07:26):
mean that you're exhausted andyou're trying to hold it
together the only way that youknow how.
But here's the truth.
Here is the truth.
The most powerful leaders don'thold it all.
They hold a position and letthe others rise to it.

(07:46):
They help them see that path,you know, understand truly why
this matters and help them riseto the occasion.
You know, it's like Jenmentioned with those amazing
questions earlier asking them tohelp them see it for themselves
, like cause.
When we're able to help themreveal it to themselves, then

(08:07):
you don't have to be the oneforcing them to do it because,
listen, they know why it'simportant to rebook guests.
Maybe they just need a reminder.
You know, ask them thequestions.
You know, why do we do this?
What's in it for the guest,what's in it for you, you know,
like the power of asking thosequestions to help them rise into
that position.
That's true power.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, you know, I think of another example.
We were working with Salon onetime and, you know, what they
didn't recognize was that force.
Like, if you're giving someonefeedback, forcing that person to
listen to you when they'rearound their other teammates can
be so embarrassing for them,and so coming from a place of
power is, like you know,creating a connection point with
that person, so that it's justyou and that person and that's

(08:51):
what's truly going to help drivethem forward.
You know so.
So let's say it's a bad review,instead of saying, lindsay, did
you see this bad review thatyou know so-and-so left for you?
Can you tell me more?
What happened?
What did you do?
And everybody around islistening.

(09:12):
Like that would be coming from aplace of force versus a place
of power.
Like, hey, lindsay, do you havetime just to connect with me
real quick, let's head over here.
Like, so it's just like thetongue is so powerful, the words
that we use are so powerful,and so, you know, this is a
beautiful opportunity for us todo some reflection, and so I
want you to think about a moment, a recent moment if that, that
where you were forced, where youforced something to happen in

(09:32):
your business.
So maybe it was a conversation,maybe it was a coaching
strategy that you were trying touse.
Maybe you gave that harshconnection.
Maybe you pushed a promo no onewas excited about.
Maybe you stepped in and saveda situation your team could have
handled.
And now when you think aboutthat, you have to ask yourself,

(09:52):
like, what belief was behindthat?
Or maybe was I afraid itwouldn't happen unless I did it.
That's a good one for salonowners to hear.
Maybe I was afraid it wouldn'thappen unless I did it, or was I
afraid of being misunderstoodor things falling apart.
See, that's force.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
But if you flip it, if we led that moment from power
, what would I have saiddifferently, what questions
could I have asked and how wouldI have shown up so good?
Because, truly, when you areleading that place of force, it
is exhausting for everyoneinvolved, not just you, but
everyone you know.

(10:32):
So here is your power practicefor the week.
So this is how you are going tostep more into power this week.
You know we want you to writedown.
You know one area in your salonwhere you are forcing outcomes,
you know.

(10:53):
So write down that one area inyour salon where you're forcing
outcomes, and then the secondstep is going to be just write
down one small shift you canmake to lead that area from
power instead of panic or force.
You know.
So it could be, you know, assimple as replacing a demand

(11:15):
with a question.
You know it could be holdingspace instead of, you know,
fixing fast.
You know, and if you need amantra to hold on, to try this
one, I don't need to forceanything.
That's truly meant for me and Idon't need to force anyone

(11:35):
who's truly meant to lead withme either.
You know, I think that's such apowerful mantra and when you
put, you know that powerpractice into play, you're going
to notice a huge shift rightaway, if nothing else and just
the energy that you walk homewith right away.

(11:56):
But I guarantee people start tosee the shift and see I don't
know what's going on withLindsay over there, but
something is different about herthis week and I'm into it.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I love that Because, if you think about it like,
leadership doesn't mean holdingall the weight you know.
It means becoming so steady inyour presence, so clear in your
vision, that your team naturallyaligns, not out of fear but out
of inspiration.
And that's the real secret.

(12:28):
You don't need to pull harder,you don't need to root deeper,
and that's what real secret.
You don't need to pull harder,you don't need to root deeper,
and that's what power really is.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
So good.
You know this was aheart-centered, strategy-driven
episode and if it spoke to you,share it with another salon
leader that you love.
You know, because we're all onthis journey of unlearning force
and stepping into our powertogether.
So, until next time, keepleading with your heart and keep

(13:02):
building something beautiful,because we truly want to bring
the beauty back to the beautyindustry.