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The secret to salon success might not be what you think. Jane Johnson, personal development expert with over 40 years of experience, reveals how toxic relationships could be silently sabotaging your business and draining your energy.
Want to identify toxic patterns and create a healthier salon environment? Here are free resources to help you, grab them here:
📖 Free Ebook: Identifying Supportive People by Jayne Johnson
✅ Client Experience Checklist: Text the word “VISION” to (469) 283-5590 to get your copy.
🎥 Watch the Video: The 4 Types of Team Members
As salon owners, our natural tendency toward kindness and seeing the best in people can become our greatest vulnerability when dealing with toxic individuals. Johnson explains that toxic people often operate beneath the radar – making passive-aggressive comments disguised as jokes, creating drama, and subtly undermining your confidence.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Johnson states, "When you're defending them, you're attacking yourself." This profound insight helps salon owners recognize when making excuses for toxic behavior is actually self-sabotage. Through real-life examples and practical guidance, Johnson helps distinguish between occasional difficult behavior and genuinely toxic patterns that require intervention.
For salon teams struggling with negative energy, this episode provides clear strategies for recognizing red flags, establishing healthy boundaries, and when necessary, compassionately releasing toxic individuals. The metaphor of "pruning a tree" perfectly captures how removing harmful elements creates space for new growth and opportunity within your salon culture.
Ready to transform your salon environment and reclaim your energy? Listen now and discover how understanding people at a deeper level can protect your business, your team, and ultimately your success. Visit jaynejohnson.com for her free ebook "Identifying Supportive People" to further enhance your salon's posit
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friend who made you second guessyourself, drained your energy
or created drama that's heldyour business back, this episode
is going to be just for you.
Today, we're going to beuncovering the toxic truth, like
how to understand people to adifferent degree and how to
(00:26):
transform not only your life,but the life of the people that
you serve every day.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yes, because we are
also salon owners.
So we know we love people, wesee the good in everyone and we
want to help.
But what if that kindness iscosting you?
So today we are talking with atrue legend, somebody who
totally transformed our lives.
(00:52):
Today we have with us JaneJohnson.
With janejohnsoncom, she is theone who opened up something
right in front of our eyes thatwas truly in front of us the
whole time, but that is toxicpeople, and once we became aware
of them, everything changed.
Our business grew, we grewpersonally and we took back
(01:14):
control of our energy andsuccess.
And, jane, you have so muchknowledge beyond just toxic
people, you know.
But we know that that wassomething that truly we can
point directly to and say youknow, through your work with us
on that.
That that truly transformed ourlife, and so we are super
excited to have you with ustoday.
(01:34):
Welcome to the show, and we'rejust so grateful for you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me and Ilook forward to sharing whatever
I can to help salon owners andanybody else have happier lives.
Yeah, thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Thank you.
Who wouldn't want a happierlife?
We love that, Jane.
Thank you, yeah, and, likeLindsay said, ditto, Like I can
think of all the transformations, how you transform my life just
by understanding people to adifferent degree.
So you know, with that beingsaid, we'd love to for you to
just start by sharing a bit ofyour journey and how, like, you
got into this work, what kind ofwork you do.
Who is Jane Johnson?
(02:13):
Just anything that you want toshare to help our listeners get
to know you more.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Oh, thank you.
Well, I started a long time agoin personal development work as
an attendee, you know, doingdifferent programs.
The first big one I ever didwas 1976.
And raise your hand if youweren't born yet.
I was in my 20s and.
(02:46):
I had two children by then.
But it really turned me aroundbecause it woke me up.
I was just walking aroundasleep and you know,
intelligence usually doesn'thave a lot to do with whether
people are asleep or not and soI really was.
And it woke me up and in 1983,I got into the clearing work and
(03:09):
that's what I'm still doing tothis day.
I love it.
I love helping people.
It just keeps me going in life.
It's just the most meaningfulthing to me.
And while I was learningclearing, I started out as a
server in a restaurant.
We called it waitress, butthat's a no-no word now, I guess
, but server.
(03:32):
I was a server and I raised mytwo kids by myself and it was
great work.
It was, hey, great exercise,right?
Yes, hey great exercise right?
Yes, and I spent 20 yearsmeeting hundreds, if not
thousands, of different people,so I got this education.
(03:52):
I just didn't know what to dowith them until I got into
clearing, got trained and then Icombined the two and, yeah, I'm
just grateful that I'll justsum up my life that way.
I'm grateful I still haveclients that I can work and and
help people, so I'm lookingforward to being helpful today
with you, two people, wonderfulpeople.
(04:14):
Thank you for working with me.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Thank you, jane.
We're so grateful for yourjourney and and you know what
brought you here today, and justyou know the, the information
and technology and things thatyou share with us is, just, you
know, timeless, and you knowit's like a like when you
understand people, that can helpyou in any line of work.
You know, like you mentioned,whether you're a server or in
(04:41):
the beauty industry or you'rejust a human being here on earth
, understanding people is really, you know, one of the keys to
success.
You know, and I think sometimesthe word you know we were
talking earlier you know peoplecan get triggered by words, and
so you know, reallyunderstanding what a word means
is helpful, and I think that'salso another wonderful tool that
(05:03):
you gave us was clearing wordsto truly understand what they
mean.
You know, because we all haveour reactive definition to them
and then there's the actualdefinition to them, and so when
we look up the word toxic, youknow it's Jane.
Do you want to tell us whattoxic means?
Speaker 3 (05:21):
and a little bit
about toxic toxic means and a
little bit about toxic.
Well, I mean the word ingeneral use, you know, means, uh
, poison, you know, rattlesnake,venom, arsenic, poison, harmful
and potentially more than youknow, is very, very dangerous
potentially and kill us.
(05:45):
Yeah, just say it.
Yeah, so in the clearing worldand other worlds as well, just
in general personal development,a toxic person is harmful and
when I first learned about it itwas in 1983.
When I first learned about itit was in 1983.
(06:16):
I was told I couldn't do anymore clearing until I learned
about toxic people and it servedme so well.
But I do want to say you know,in the big picture, everybody's
a good person.
I think so.
Everybody's good at heart, goodpeople.
I think so, everybody's good atheart, good people.
However, some people don't actthat way and actions can harm us
.
Someone's coming at us toattack us.
I'm not sure it's a good ideato just say well, everybody's a
(06:44):
good person.
People can hurt us and they cancertainly hurt us physically
but what I learned is peoplecould hurt us with words and and
actions and being harmful andthey don't know it.
I mean most toxic people thinkthey're the greatest person
around and that's why we don'ttell people you're toxic.
(07:09):
What me, what I know I?
I, I was just joking when Isaid you look like you gained
100 pounds.
You know, I was just joking andthese are the kind of things I
learned when I studied toxicpeople.
They don't know they're toxic.
They think it's okay to jokelike that.
(07:31):
It's just an example.
You know, I was at the ballgameyesterday and this staff person
at the ballgame was sellingraffle tickets and I didn't want
a raffle ticket, but he cameover to me and sit in my seat
trying to watch the ball game.
You're blocking the didn't care.
(07:52):
He didn't care and he saiddon't you care about the kids?
You know the the raffle wouldbenefit the kids in the city and
I'm trying to.
That's, that's toxic.
But until I studied, you know,and learned about all the ways
(08:13):
we do notice if someone's toxicor not, I would have just
thought oh yeah, of course Icare about the kids.
Here's my $20.
Here's my $40.
But please don't make me feelguilty like that.
You know it happens all thetime.
That's why I can come up withan example from yesterday,
(08:36):
because there's so toxic peoplein the world.
He thought he was being funny,but what he really was doing was
trying to guilt me into buyinga raffle ticket.
So do you want to know if Ibought one or not?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, I think I know,
but I want to know.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You know, in my my
old self, my old uneducated self
, yes, but no, I didn't buy one.
Oh, and then he said he justkept going, you know, oh, you
don't care about the kids, oh,you don't care about the poor
kids.
Well, he went away, he left, hewent back down the stairs to
(09:23):
find some other victim, and youknow what?
It's a great example, because hewas a nice man, he didn't mean
any harm, except that was atoxic thing to do to me.
And he went on to the nextperson because he wants to make
sales.
And let's make sales by makingpeople feel guilty, yeah, great.
(09:44):
But because these people aren'taware and they really are not,
and whether they think they'rejoking or they just think it's
harmless to say certain toxicthings we can't change them.
And I don't try to change them,but I don't let them push me
(10:06):
around, and that was the changefor me.
I used to let everybody push mearound, everybody.
Because why?
Because everyone's good person,um.
So I just learned to bediscriminating in a um based on,
I'm going to say, wisdom andknowledge these people are toxic
(10:29):
or this person is toxic.
I need to interact with them acertain way to protect me, to
protect my family, to protect myclients, to protect other
people, innocent people, becausethey really are harmful, and so
that hence we use the wordtoxic.
So I think I answered yourquestion.
(10:50):
That was great.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You know it really
made me think of.
You know, we see that a lot inour industry.
Where you know people, it'salmost like a it's a me
mentality versus you know what'struly in it for the client.
Like you know, it'd be like ifit's a me mentality versus you
know what's truly in it for theclient.
Like, um, you know it'd be likeif they were trying to guilt
somebody into buying something,um, you know, whether it's a
product or whatever, um, buttruly you know having the
(11:15):
opposite, like if you, if hereally wanted to be a good
salesperson, you know if hewould have learned what was
important to you, um, and madeit about you.
Not that there was enough timeor that was the appropriate
place for that, you know, butthat would be the opposite of a
toxic person.
And you know, because, likeit's almost like selling
something's not bad, it was notthe actual thing that was bad,
it was like he, it was theemotional state that he was
(11:37):
trying to bring you in to forceyou to purchase something that
you didn't want to.
And so I think I love thatexample, jane.
I think that that's like anincredible example of how toxic
people show up in our lives.
But what would you say?
You know what is one of, like,the biggest misconceptions
(11:58):
people have about toxic people.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, thank you so
well.
For one thing, I want to labelhis behavior as
passive-aggressive.
Yeah, and when people do that,they really just think they're
funny.
You know, I'm just joking.
So I wanted to say that and Ithink the biggest misconception
(12:23):
gosh, you know, wow is excusingit.
That's what I always do, justexcuse it.
Oh, they had a bad childhood.
They didn't mean it.
They don't know what.
I'm too sensitive, becausethat's what toxic people will
often say is you're toosensitive, you're taking it the
(12:43):
wrong way, you'remisinterpreting it.
And I think that people in thebeauty industry are artists, and
artists are sensitive in thebest of ways.
You know that word is used likean insult.
That is wrong.
No, when someone's sensitive,it means they're alive, it means
(13:06):
they care.
These are my definitions they'realive, they care, um, they have
a big heart and they'reinterested in the beauty
industry.
They're interested in makingpeople feel pretty, feel
beautiful, love themselves more.
These are all amazing, uh,traits that they have, and
(13:27):
people like that are targets fortoxic people.
Toxic people gravitate like amagnet.
They don't know it, it's notconscious, but they can almost
sense when someone is caring andhas a big heart and they'll
(13:48):
just attack the heck out of themand it's all if you could call
it instinct or intuition in theworst of ways because they don't
know they're doing it.
So I consider myself sensitivein a good way, and I just had to
learn to protect myself.
So, to answer your question, Ithink the biggest
(14:10):
misunderstanding is to excuse itand just make some excuse for
the person Bad childhood, theydidn't mean it, et cetera.
And then you can't protectyourself, and then you can't
(14:31):
protect yourself, and becauseyou've already, in a way, by
defending them, you're attackingyourself.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
yeah, I love that so
good, jane.
I I that's so good is I lovewhat you just said.
When you're defending them,you're attacking yourself.
Because I truly believe weworked with thousands of salon
owners.
Like one of the hardest thingsfor salon owners is we're just
natural givers, right.
We're like, oh, you dosomething wrong, that's okay, no
worries, here, we'll coach you,we'll just keep coaching you
(14:55):
and coaching you and coachingyou.
And like we wanted to reallysee the best in people, but
sometimes that does backfire, umand so like, let's, let's think
about it from a business aspect.
What would be some like redflags I know you gave some
examples and scenarios, but likewhat would be some big red
flags that a toxic person wouldreveal on a team?
(15:17):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Thank you.
Well, and you know, I want tosay I've been doing clearing for
42 years and I've never saidthat statement.
That I just said to both of youand to your audience.
It's because of you too,because you are supportive
people, because you're goodpeople, because you're the
opposite of toxic.
(15:40):
That sentence came to me andI'm so thank you for being who
you are, and anyone who watchesyour podcast and learns from you
is smart and lucky andfortunate.
Yes, so I want to thank you.
So, with respect to yourquestion, and I really mean that
(16:01):
.
So, with respect to yourquestion, and I really mean that
.
So, with respect to yourquestion, there's degrees of
toxic people.
I think in many times in mylife I've been a toxic person,
but overall I'm not.
I'm not from head to toe.
I'm not, you're not.
There's most many people are,of course, are not.
(16:33):
So there's degrees where acriminal would be terribly toxic
.
They harm other people all thetime.
And then there's the occasionalperson who just says something
that hurts somebody else.
The difference is a toxicperson almost never says I'm
sorry, they can't bear it, theycannot bear to be wrong, and so
(16:59):
I'm not saying that one thingwith the traits of a toxic
person and the way you spot themis it's, it's so dangerous and
I know you don't mean it thisway either it's dangerous to say
, oh, they were passive,aggressive they, they did this,
they did that toxic person.
It's best to notice a toxictrait and then you give that
(17:25):
person the chance to prove youwrong.
You know, prove that they'renot.
But neither do you deludeyourself and go, oh, they're
okay and excuse you, you don'tdo that.
But you don't go the other way.
And it's called a witch hunt,right?
Call everybody a toxic person.
So, um, I, yeah, so, um, I'mnot sure I've answered your
(17:49):
question yet, but I wanted tosay that because these are key
things to you want to be able tospot a toxic person on your
team, for example, but you don'twant to make a snap judgment
and then you've labeled them andthat's it, them and that's it.
(18:15):
You never know, but ultimatelythe person will show you.
And that makes me think of oneof my favorite quotes, right
From Maya Angelou, the poet, andshe said when someone shows you
who they are, believe them thefirst time.
Yeah, I love that quote.
And so we don't want to beexcusing people when they are
being mean and cruel.
I love that.
(18:35):
You said that, lindsay.
It's the opposite of kindness.
Toxic people are very cruel, butthey do it in a passive,
aggressive way most of the time,so that they can get excused
and it's justified and they canjust keep doing it.
But anyway, yes, I've gone offon a tangent, sorry.
(18:56):
So what are the traits of atoxic person?
Well, just think of cruelty,not the kind, that's obvious.
They're very clever.
Again, I don't think they knowthey're clever, but they really
are.
They're clever and they can betoxic, like the example I gave
(19:17):
with the man at the ball game.
It's just a statement that hesaid couple, you know, trying to
make me feel guilty, but youhave to call it.
You have to call it as it isand so you look at your own
values.
You have to know what your ownvalues are and what your
(19:40):
boundaries are, what you thinkis okay for someone to say to
you.
For example, as I said, my oldself would have just felt guilty
when he said that my new selfsays go away, so free.
(20:01):
Oh.
But again, I mean it's thatsubtlety where it's just you
have to know what your ownvalues are, what you would let
someone the, way they would talkto you, what action they might
have or not have, and then you,you go from there.
(20:21):
And that's what changed for mereally in the beginning was I
just let anyone do anything tome?
And I started to realize I don'tdeserve that so when you have
guests that come to the salonand they don't respect you, well
(20:42):
, let's just say they're meanand let's say they are toxic.
Some of them, them for sure,they are um.
Some of them Um.
What do you do?
How do you?
How do you handle them?
And this takes me back to thescale of little bit toxic.
And then the person at theother end who is really not only
(21:11):
harming you as the stylist orthe salon owner, but everyone
else.
It's like an, a rotten apple inthe barrel, that old-fashioned
saying um, because even let'ssay they're the toxic, um guests
, but no one else in the saloncan hear them, whatever they're
(21:32):
saying or doing.
But that energy is goingeverywhere and I just think that
it's smart to protectyourselves without being mean.
I'm not going to join thistoxic person and be toxic to
(21:53):
them.
Sometimes you have to do that,just like a policeman would have
to control a criminal, but Itry not to.
I don't have to do that.
I mean, most of the time wedon't have to go to that measure
.
But, um, if you don't protectyourself at all in any way, then
(22:18):
you pay for it.
You think it's your fault, youthink you're too sensitive, you
think you were wrong.
They love to make you think youwere wrong.
So, um, yeah, who wants that onyour team?
That just takes the whole teamdown.
And again, who?
Me?
I didn't know, I was justtrying.
(22:40):
That's very normal behavior forthem and they believe it.
They're not lying, as a rule.
They they really believe theydidn't do anything.
Oh, I have an example of this.
May I share it please?
This happened a long time ago.
This, this man, uh, that I knewhe um owed a doctor money or
(23:01):
services.
You know, the doctor saved hislife, money or services.
You know, the doctor saved hislife.
And this man was had grown upin poverty and poor.
He had a job, though, and whenI suggested to this man that he
(23:23):
pay the doctor, this man said hedoesn't need it.
Wow the doctor doesn't need it,why should I pay need it?
Why should I pay him?
He has a lot of money.
I have almost no money.
So, yeah, I own the money, buthe doesn't need it.
That's the kind of subtle.
Well, maybe it's not so subtle,it just depends on your own
(23:45):
values.
But he never thought he waswrong.
That was his perception.
It all has to do with one'sperception and one's values.
So he really meant that.
Um, to me that's stealing.
So it's just another example ofwhat are your values, what are
(24:10):
your boundaries.
He doesn't need it.
Wow, well, he didn't need it.
What did that have to do withanything except to him?
So, yeah, I'm not sure whatelse to say right now.
Yeah, different levels,different degrees on the ladder
(24:39):
of somebody who's maybe youcould call toxic people red
light.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yeah, totally, and I
love that example, jane.
Yeah, totally, and I love thatexample, jane.
I think you know what itreminds me of is just, you know,
staying in exchange with people.
And you know, when you don'thave that natural want to stay
in exchange with people, thatcan be a good red flag for, hey,
(25:05):
that's a toxic person.
You know, if you just want totake from another person, you
know, that's the same thing aspoisoning another person If you
never want to give back tosomebody, if you only want to
take from them.
To me, that would be anothergood example of like a red flag
in a toxic person.
You know, and I think, um, wewere talking about this earlier.
Um, it reminded me of some quote.
(25:26):
I can't remember if it was inan interview or, um, where it
came from, but it was like howmuch poison do you drink before
you die, you know?
I think that the interview wassomething like you know,
somebody said you know, how muchdo I put up with from my family
?
You know, they keep, you know,doing blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, and the, the person thatthey were speaking with, said
well, how much poison do youdrink before you die?
(25:47):
You know, and I think, wow,that's a really shocking and
powerful statement, you know.
But but, man, you, you can'thelp but deny what's happening
when you're just pouring onlittle tiny doses.
And so you know, I'm justcurious from your perspective,
jane, like how do toxic peopleaffect salon culture or team
(26:08):
morale?
And like what would you say?
Like when do you decide on thescale?
Enough is enough?
Or what ideas do you havearound that thought, jane?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Yeah Well, thank you
for sharing that quote.
It is shocking, but it's sotrue and it's so helpful to
think of it that way, becauseyou said small doses and they
eventually, at the least theycan.
Toxic person can make you sick,I mean physically ill.
You could say well, um, it wascold out and I didn't wear my
(26:41):
sweater.
That's what I used to say.
Toxic people take our energy.
But when you said that, Ithought of, um, how many people
over the course of you know mydoing clearing with people in my
career that you know sharingwith them about toxic people?
(27:01):
And then they said but it'ssomebody in my family, if they
even have the courage to saythat, which takes courage.
Um, and my dad was a toxicperson and I just went.
I went way overboard withtrying to divest, you know, get
(27:24):
him out of my life and I wouldnever do that now.
And so if it's's in my familyor your family, I would my.
My advice is just do your bestto get along with them, unless
it's just so much poison thatyou feel you have to do
something about it.
But I would be very cautiousabout going to extremes, because
(27:49):
it is family, but familymembers can be toxic.
I can't well, countless clientswhere somebody was toxic, but
that's my advice about that.
And then, when it's not sopersonal, you have more margin
and leeway to take control andhandle the situation.
(28:13):
But if you don't, it just Ithink it can ruin a whole
business, it can ruin a family,it can ruin a business, it can
ruin a store.
You ever been to a store wherethe manager or somebody was
toxic?
And again, after learning this,there's just stories I wouldn't
(28:35):
go back to.
Yeah, there's toxic stories.
It's toxic.
I mean, if you're attuned andyou want to be attuned and
present right as you two teachall the time about being present
(28:56):
you walk into a space and youfeel it, and a client or a guest
comes into the salon and if youcan feel it, then you said it
before.
When you know how to interactwith people, people that's such
(29:17):
a big key to success and ittakes spotting it, spotting what
the the flags are, as I said,cruelty, unkind, it's just when
we see it.
It's red flags are blatant.
But, as I said, if you excuseit and or you don't want to see
(29:38):
it, what if you don't want tosee that in somebody?
yeah what if you?
You are big-hearted?
Of course you are, and you, youwant to be givers and you are
givers.
It's hard to call it and say toyourself hey, what that person
just said to me wasn't very nice, but if you also have
(30:02):
confidence in yourself and youlike yourself and you know
you're not going to be treatthem the way they're treating
you, you don't do that.
But you also don't let themcause harm in your salon or your
family, whatever it is.
That's, that's just my view onit.
Everybody should, I say should.
(30:23):
I like to share the informationabout toxic people so that
everyone can make their owndecision how they're going to
handle it, how they're going totreat people who are toxic, if
they even maybe some peoplewould think it's wrong.
Just treat everybody the sameway.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I don't say that's
wrong, I just share what I feel,
and then I support everyone inmaking their own decision.
(31:09):
I did learn the hard way.
To me.
You said you know, maybe itjust wasn't your time to see it.
So, like I just share that withthe listeners too, because that
can be so freeing as well.
As you start to, you know, workon yourself, do clearing with
Jane, like things like that itreally helps you to become the
most beautiful version ofyourself.
And so now that we've kind ofidentified, you know, toxic
(31:30):
people, you know what would yousay is the best way for salon
owners to handle this?
They have the evidence, theyknow this person is not serving
their mission.
You know they're doing thingskind of undercover.
It's time to release them.
So what's the best way torelease a toxic person on your
team?
It wouldn't be, you're toxic,you're fire today, would it?
(31:50):
Definitely not?
Yeah, so what would be like?
What be a way to?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
to have that
conversation.
Yeah well, I'm glad you broughtthis up and, um, I do want to
say there are people again it'sa ladder from the extreme to the
minor we'll say and, and areally extremely toxic person
will just keep pushing you andpoking at you because they want
(32:21):
you to react.
In many cases they want you tofire them, and if you don't,
they just keep doing things toyou that are very destructive.
And I think in that case, no,you don't have to say you're
toxic, it's not going to, no,I'm not.
I mean no, they can't graspthat, but you do have to be.
(32:45):
I would say I don't want to sayhave to, but they push you into
extreme measures to get themout of there because they're
harming so many other people,your other guests, your team,
your staff yourself.
Um, it's not right in theclearing world we call that,
(33:07):
it's not ethical to let oneperson just to harm, harm so
many other people, right?
So in some cases you would be.
You wouldn't wait and wait andwait and wait and hope, and hope
, and hope that they're going toget better.
That's okay for a while, but ifonce it's clear to you that
(33:29):
it's not going to change, thenyou really do have to get them
out of your salon for the sakeof everyone else.
If it's not that extreme, thenmy rule is because I do have
clients who that's not true.
Let me start that sentence over.
I've had clients who are verydestructive and I won't work
(33:55):
with them, but neither will Isay anything of the sort.
I'll just say you know, maybethis isn't for you or maybe
maybe I'm not the right personfor you, just something that's
kind.
It's not hard to be kind, butalso effective.
(34:15):
If you it's just my belief ifyou allow a toxic person to harm
a bunch of other people, a lotof, even one, even one other
person, it's just, it's notright.
But our society sometimes, youknow, I, I don't need to go
(34:37):
there.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
It's so true.
Yeah, thank you for sharing allthat, and it's so funny that
you know we talk with salonowners or we maybe we've even
experienced on our teams too.
When someone leaves, that fitsinto that category, like even
more evidence starts to show up,so it gives the salon owners so
much freedom that it was a hardchoice, but it's the best
choice.
It's the best choice for youpersonally, it's the best choice
for your team, it's the bestchoice for your clients, and so
(35:03):
you know, it's just.
It's really amazing, like whenyou do release that person from
your team, how much everythingelse starts to thrive and grow
because of that.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
So true, that is so
true true, yeah, it's like
pruning the tree or the bush orthe allows new things to bloom
oh, that's nice.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Yeah, that is so true
, I had.
I had a.
The way, it was taught to me,was get rid of them.
That was the way it was taughtto me so back in 83, you know,
in the covered wagon days, no,I'm sorry, 1883, no, but I did
(35:47):
have to sort it out for myselfand and I came to, I learned the
hard way.
I, even after I learned thisinformation, I kept a lot of
people in my life who shouldn'thave been there and I really
paid for it.
And so to me I love the wordbalance.
It's a balance of you know theinformation.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Maybe you realize
someone's toxic, someone's toxic
, and then you you handle it ina way that's for the benefit of
the most number of people, butas kindly as you possibly can.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
That was my
conclusion after years of
mistakes a good conclusion tocome to.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
And you know, I know,
I think that that can you know
with all the salon owners.
And you know, jen and I areobviously salon owners too and
just as human beings like you dojust truly want to see the best
in others, love that.
You shared that Maya Angelouquote earlier when you said she
famously has said when peopleshow you who they are, believe
(37:04):
them the first time.
And you know, because a lot oftimes people will continue to
show you who they are.
And I think we also have agreat resource on our YouTube
channel that talks about thefour different types of
employees.
And you know a lot of it has todo with, like, if your values
are in alignment with thecompany.
You know what I mean Because,um, a toxic person, another
trait could be just that theirvalues are so different than
yours.
(37:25):
And you know, when you'realigned with somebody whose
values are so different thanyours, it's gonna feel draining
to you, it's gonna feel going tofeel like you are connected to
a toxic person, because you'realways.
You know, for me, before Iunderstood, you know, toxic
people, I thought that there wassomething wrong with me and of
(37:47):
course, I always want to getbetter.
I'm a human being.
I'm going to make mistakes.
I'm going to, you know, try toget better every day.
That's just part of our humanjourney.
But when you find yourselfquestioning yourself a lot,
that's a good indicator that youare connected.
You know, jane, what is likeone final piece of advice you'd
give to a salon owner that mightbe dealing with a toxic person
(38:10):
in their business right now?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Well, I'll tell you
what comes to mind is when I
first thought about years ago,when I thought about sharing
this information, because it'sso valuable, in a written form.
What I did instead is I wrotethat little book called
Identifying Supportive People.
I thought I don't want to writea negative book is I wrote that
little book called identifyingsupportive people.
(38:36):
I thought I don't want to writea negative book listing all
these awful, even though it'shelpful, you know, and it's a
tool.
But I just flipped it aroundand wrote a little book about
identifying supportive peoplehow to have a happier life.
It's a little ebook that I'd behappy to share with anyone.
(38:59):
Free, take it.
But I just wanted to say thatbecause you can get focused on
the toxic and it can bring youdown, because there's a lot of
it, it seems, in the world atlarge and it can be in a salon
(39:20):
as well.
So the final advice would beprobably a summary of what I
said, which is well, always doyour own personal development
work.
I mean, I recommend for anyonewho's watching this podcast to
work with you too.
Work with you too, because youhave so much to offer, and do
(39:45):
your own work.
Whatever it might be, do yourown work, know your own values,
your core values, know yourboundaries, your core values,
know your boundaries and whensomeone is toxic, be, be willing
to acknowledge it, at leastinside yourself, and then
observe for a decent period oftime, make sure you're not wrong
(40:09):
about them, and then, ifthey're really really toxic, you
have to, and then, if they'rereally really toxic, you have to
release them.
That's a good word Release them.
I released that guy yesterdayat the ball game.
Release, you're forgiven.
God bless you.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Well, salon owners,
if this episode hit home for you
and you're realizing that toxicenergy might be holding your
salon back, it's time to takeaction.
So, jane, for those that wantto learn more from you and and
work with you, how can we findyou?
What's your website, email,anything, ways to be connected
to you?
Speaker 3 (40:48):
oh well, thank you.
Um, I want people to work withyou too, but I welcome anybody.
Yes, thank you so much, andit's well.
My website is there and undermy little picture there and my
email is Jane at Jane Johnsoncom.
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
(41:11):
Yeah, I love helping, so,however I can do, that makes me
happy.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
So good.
Thank you, jane.
You are just a wealth ofknowledge.
We could probably spend anotheryou know 20 years together
uncovering so many valuableresources.
You know, just when youunderstand people and you
understand yourself, it helpsyou get around and the world a
lot better, and so you know,thank you so much.
It helps you get around and theworld a lot better, and so you
know.
Thank you so much, jane, foryour time today.
(41:39):
Thank you everyone forlistening.
Um, you know we're we're sograteful for to have supportive
connections like you, jane, andum, obviously our listeners.
If this resonates with you, um,or really if it helped you in
any way, share it with anothersalon owner who needs to hear it
.
And you know, if you've everdealt with a toxic person in
your business, dm us, send us amessage.
(42:02):
You can find our information inthe show notes.
We'll also drop thatinformation Jane shared with her
ebook.
I know that that was a gamechanger for both Jen and I just
being able to recognize thosesupportive people and really
putting your focus on thosesupportive people so that you
can create more amazing thingsin the world.
So you know, you've obviouslylearned a lot about toxic people
(42:23):
.
Grab her valuable resource aswell, because that will help you
realize, like, okay, who arethose game changing amazing
people on your team that youalready have, so that you can
create more amazing thingsinside of the world.
So thanks so much for joiningus, jane.
We're so grateful for you,thank you.
Thanks so much, all right.
(42:43):
Thanks for tuning in.