July 23, 2025 • 52 mins
This week on Saron Things:
✨ Main Character Things
• Tea app success story
• Dating multiple men at once (chaos!)
• My very first ✨ one-star ✨ review
💥 Things That Pop
• Denise Richards files for divorce 🚨
• Blake Lively vs. Justin Baldoni — why I’m out
• Blake’s subpoenas (and what she didn’t do)
• The Astronomer CEO cheating saga 🌌
• Scheana Shay drops a book
• RHOM — Larsa’s villain arc, Lisa love, and the Trump moment
• The Valley — Kristen’s journey, Jax vs. Danny, Zen party chaos
• Cokehead hypocrisy, sage drama, Jenna??, Zack supremacy, Kristen quotables 💅
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
Welcome to Surround Things, a podcast for women who like the
reality TV trashy, their takes hot, and their brains activated.
I am your host, Serrano Kava. How do you guys steadily do How
I've missed you? It's been a week, hasn't it?
The news has been many things, entertaining, disconcerting,
life altering, just the huge for2025.
(00:34):
But. But today we shall laugh.
We shall talk about important events in the pop culture
stratosphere as well as like thepolitical zeitgeist.
We're going to tackle Blake Lively again.
I know it's been a while, and I have an explanation.
We'll be talking about Denise Richards and her estrangement
(00:58):
from husband to Erin. And then we're also going to
talk about the astronomer at theColdplay concert that was
discovered via Kiss Kim and alsoSheena's book.
It's I did not read it. I did not accept it, but there
is a bit of it that is worth discussing, that's for damn
(01:19):
sure. And then, of course, there's
Real Housewives of Miami. I don't have much to say about
it, but I do need to say my piece.
Actually, my piece is just fuck you, Julia.
I don't know if I need to say much more than that, but any
who's E All right, so, as always, we can kick it off with
main character things. This is the segment where I
(01:40):
regale you with fun tidbits about my life, unhinged or
otherwise, and you just nod along and tell me I'm perfect,
flawless, gorgeous, studying. Just the apple of your eye, the
light of your life, the wind beneath your.
OK, have you guys heard of the Tapp?
Have you heard of the T app? OK, so if you've heard of the
(02:04):
Have you dated this guy or like what are those groups called?
Are we dating the same guy groups on Facebook pages?
It's the same energy, but like adedicated app.
And it came to my attention because it was rolling out in
like different geographies over the United States.
California got access to it and their dating ecosystem felt the
(02:27):
impact. And then, I don't know, like
Portland, when my ears perked, it was Deerfields come
motherfucking etiquette. No, that's not true.
That's not right. Connecticut Deer Field OK, so
I've conflated at least seven different things in this moment.
No, that's an exaggeration, but Deerfield, Massachusetts,
(02:49):
Western Massachusetts. Dear Dearborn, MI Michigan.
OK, so different. See, like you got the D in the
M, The D in the M, That's where I got like confused.
Deerfield, Lovely. In Massachusetts.
I do plan on living in that state within the next seven
years. OK, Love Massachusetts,
(03:12):
Peaceful. Lots of just like peaceful
lovely people up in that bitch. And the ones that aren't,
they're very easy to avoid. They are certainly not the
majority. So it's a good time.
It's a good time. Going to tell a joke about how
Amherst has more like Black Lives Matters signs than black
people like easily. And it could be a ratio of four
(03:35):
to one. But I appreciate it.
Love an ally. OK wait what did we get here?
T app geography roll outs OK so my thing is with this T app
which is the API version of the are we dating the same guy
Facebook groups. There isn't a single man that
(03:58):
I've been out on a date with this year that is on that app.
I even looked up my male friendsMario 1 and I live in the
Washington DC area, OK, and there's some ratchet shit going
on up in here, but not by any ofthe men I associate myself with.
And this feels like the men thatlike I didn't end up obviously
(04:21):
I'm still fucking single, but itfelt like such a lovely
reinforcement that my baseline is just decency decent.
It felt good. It felt good.
Moving on to the next. Oh my God, there was a story
that I need to finish from last week.
OK, I started telling the story as an example of how I've always
(04:41):
been caught every single time that I've lied or tried to be
deceptive. And it also ties in with this
point I made in my last main character segment where I was
telling you that I have a hard time finding Ethiopian or
Avishamen, which means Ethiopianor Eritrean, as we are the same
people attractive because they are one very delicately
(05:05):
featured, as are the ladies. And also I was raised being told
that every single I wish a person I saw was a cousin or an
aunt or an uncle or whatever. So it's just if you look like me
and you're a man, you're probably my cousin.
So I've just written you off Annie who's ease.
There's one exception to that rule, and that is the young man
(05:25):
that was the cousin of my childhood best friend.
I will not share her name 'causeshe didn't ask to be associated
with me. But I spent a lot of time with
her family, many gatherings. And at some point this young
gentleman, let's call him John, started to show up.
And, and at this point, I had been at summer classes at a
(05:50):
local Community College. And he mentioned that he had
once taken classes at that Community College as well.
And I remembered it, but I didn't really think it was
anything that serious, anything that would ever need to be drawn
from again. And The thing is, at the
beginning of that summer, I started taking those classes at
(06:15):
the Community College. There was a young man there who
had just come over from Russia who was currently just like in
the midst of getting his creditsup to apply to a four year
university. And he was very handsome.
And he and I hit it off and we started to go out on dates.
So one could maybe say we were dating.
We didn't have a conversation about this.
(06:36):
OK, so it's not like I cheated on anyone.
And this is an important distinction because I went out
one night that summer, it was August, probably towards the
end, and I ran into John, my my best friend's cousin, the Abisha
man, the Eritrean man, tall, handsome cheekbones for days.
(06:56):
As I said before, like, very handsome.
And yeah, no, it didn't take much to convince me to make out
with him. Like, great dance floor make
out, fantastic. He asks me to go out with him a
couple weeks later to a different, like, club.
I was in my early 20s at that stage.
There were lots of clubs. And I didn't ask that many
(07:19):
questions. I was like, OK, I'll just ask
one of my girlfriends to come with me.
A good friend of mine did, and the Russian man, let's call him
Igor. No, that seems a little on the
snoot. No, Luke, let's call him Luke.
So I grabbed one of my girlfriends to go out with me to
the club with John and he said he was going to bring a friend
(07:42):
and it would just be a fun, likea double Danish kind of vibe.
And when we got into the car andwe were driving to the club, he
was like, oh, we're going to meet up with a friend.
And I completely delusional, like not thinking about anything
because honestly, it is bizarre.Who would think?
But my friend was like, well, it's the name of your friend.
(08:06):
And John was like Luke. And at that point my ears
perked. She's like, do you mind telling
me the last name of this Luke? And he said Luke's last name.
And I my heart fell into my asshole.
It was a very distinct feeling. And so I had like approximately
17 to 20 minutes to figure out what the fuck I was going to do
(08:28):
'cause I was on I was on a date with this fellow about to meet
the fella I was actually dating.To be fair, John was cool as
hell. He immediately caught like the
understanding of what the fuck was going on and let me live my
(08:49):
life because obviously I chose the guy that I had been seeing
for much, much longer. I went to the bar with John and
I went home with Luke. These are the stories of the
first four books of the New Testament.
If you ever were curious, we gotMatthew, Mark, Luke and John
(09:09):
covered. So put the Bible, that's the end
of that story. But honestly, I did try to go
back and forth a couple times. Oh, and I had her switch with
me. Oh my God, I had my friend
switch with me because of the guy that had come with John for
my friend. They'd never met before.
She ran cover and I'm pretty sure, Oh my God, she ended up
(09:32):
hooking up with John that night.So it worked out for everyone
because except for John's friend.
Except for John's friend. Good times with the Russian.
Did we all go through that phasewhere like, we were so
aggressively, casually dating that you couldn't commit to
giving like a real name to a manwhen discussing him with your
friends? Because I don't know the
(09:53):
likelihood that there would be another John next week.
Not to sound like a literal hooker, but Oh my God.
My first one star review. I referenced this last week, but
it was a part of the lost audio video, whatever.
So let's do this right now, OK? My first one star review.
(10:16):
It says her main character moment about giving money to a
white man, homeless man was completely tone deaf.
Sorry I forgot. OK.
She described feeling judged by a black man for helping a white
man, then agreed with perceived judgement because that's a
reparations work. She admitted she gave the money
just to escape the situation, not out of compassion.
(10:39):
Homelessness is a human issue, and while race plays a massive
role in systemic inequality, reducing a struggling white man
to a failed symbol of privilege seems dehumanizing.
Felt like his suffering was viewed through a lens of
resentment rather than empathy. I will not be listening again.
(10:59):
And ma'am, I don't blame you, Kim.
I don't blame you because like, I'm not everyone's shy.
Hearing this back, I do recall this story and I literally
obviously do not know what was going on in the mind of that
black man as he watched me give money to that white man.
But can you not allow me to livein this universe, this funny
(11:23):
universe for one minute? OK?
I would imagine Kimberly, that you are a white lady and I gave
the poor white man the money. What more do you want of me?
You want me to feel a specific way whilst doing it?
The end goal was met ma'am. Tone deaf?
I don't know, I think Kim, maybeyou are the tone deaf one.
(11:47):
Let a girl live. And I'm pretty sure I wrapped
that story up by saying that since I am Ethiopian,
technically reparations don't flow my way.
So I wasn't adding to the net negative when a time to be
alive. OK, But thank you for listening.
Thank you for giving it a try, Kimmy.
OK, on to our next segment, things that pop.
(12:11):
This is a segment in which I discuss topics this week in pop
culture that lit me up that thatgot my motor running.
Get them on the highway looking for adventure, whatever comes my
way. OK, born to me.
Wow, sorry, I just have to. OK, this first story is pretty
(12:31):
dark. Denise Richards has filed for
divorce from Aaron and I'm pretty sure that it's actually
Aaron that like went ahead and filed.
This was never going to end in agood place.
I must start there. I have said this before, I have
been critical of this relationship for a long time,
from that moment when they were in the car and he was convincing
(12:56):
her that they were being tailed by some, I don't know, like
secret government agency. And then he's some kind of
holistic, a sound wave healer. And there's nothing wrong with
Eastern medicine, but there are just too many data points and
too many very fucking strange columns for me to trust him.
(13:19):
He was giving Freak from the jump and if you deny that, God
help ya and your self preservation instinct because
dear Lord. Anyways, Denise is alleging that
he has hit her and she was the victim of domestic violence
throughout their relationship. And there was actually a tidbit
from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
(13:41):
As they were leaving a party at Kyle Richard's house, a
microphone picked up Aaron saying that he would crush
Denise's hand for X or Y behavior that she was had or was
going to display. She showed pictures of her black
eyes. Very clear to me that this
cuckoo doodle Doo is very much likely to do some unhinged
(14:03):
things. The most upsetting part to me is
after even doing all of this to her, like physically violating
her, assaulting her, he has the audacity to write some letter
begging for an intervention for Denise claiming that she is off
her motherfucking rocker, that she is like on all these drugs
(14:24):
and is not able to. Like what's it called the
Britney Spears effect, a conservatorship vibe.
Not literally he was pursuing A conservatorship.
But it feels like the merging tracks to 1.
I do understand. I can see with my own two eyes
We all saw that episode with theupside down jacket.
Denise Richards is not OK. Clearly there is some tumult
(14:45):
there and there might be some substance abuse issues.
That doesn't take someone's right to make decisions for
themselves away. OK Like I am 100% on teen.
People are allowed to go crazy and fuck up their lives because
the alternative is that people are allowed to decide what deems
(15:10):
like behavior and thought that is reasonable enough to like,
have sovereignty over your own life.
And that is such a slippery motherfucking slope that I would
much rather allow people to run their lives into the ground.
And The thing is, people are largely allowed to do that.
(15:30):
It's only in situations where there is money involved, where
other people's finances are in jeopardy besides the person who
whose mental capacity is being questioned.
When other people's finances areinvolved, suddenly it's time for
conservatorship. Suddenly it's time for
intervention. But if it's just like Jenny down
the road, she's allowed to have her house go into foreclosure
(15:54):
and not be able to afford her medication or even be able to
remember to do so and end up living on the street, and it's
fine. No, like, you can't have it both
motherfucking ways. I absolutely do not know how we
got onto conservatorships. Denise Richards.
Now I know how we got there. OK, so his letter that he wrote
was very much OK. We got a lobotomized suspension.
(16:16):
It was a very, like, early 20th century consumption, Like crazy
hysterical lady stuff. No one is saying that Denise
Richards is the picture of mental health.
But Sir, you're not at all the person that is going to be the
barometer in which we'd make that decision and also, like,
(16:38):
who is capable of making that decision.
Britney Spears has me fucked up.Like when it comes to any of
this stuff, being a like a sovereign human being that's
able to like, make their own decisions and like, fuck up when
they're going to fuck up and succeed when they're going to
succeed is incredibly important to me.
And the idea of being able to intervene when someone's life is
(17:01):
going down a very, like, dangerous path is also very
important to me. But it seems that like those
very important concepts can be like, switched, reversed,
conflated, and shoved down your throat in circumstances that
completely obliterate their purpose.
So I'm always on the team of more freedom, even in the face
(17:27):
of potential chaos, versus more stringent guidelines when the
assumption is that's going to provide stability, if that makes
any goddamn sense. All right, OK, TLDR Aaron is
insane. No one should fucking believe
him or anything he says about the woman that is alleging that
(17:48):
she was his victim of domestic violence.
And that's that on the I hope that was a very obvious
statement that I just made, but let's be real.
Next topic, why I stopped covering Blake Lively versus
Justin Baldoni. Obviously, there are several
reasons I've gotten this commentso many times over the past like
(18:09):
3 or 4 months since like, my coverage of this whole situation
has toned down. And there are many reasons,
like, I don't ever want me as a content creator, a podcaster,
like an influencer, to be so inextricably aligned with any
story, right? There are like creators that
(18:29):
I've seen who this story has become, like the axis in which
their entire content revolves. And that's not what I'm trying
to do here. I never really want to get
bogged down in any one story where it's a part of like my
identity, full stop. This is not what I'm trying to
do. And also like, people are
(18:50):
batshit crazy. I literally just said I don't
want this to become a part of myidentity.
I'm saying that because I'm watching it before my very eyes
become some people's identity, where the way that people like
metabolize Justin Baldonium Blake Lively lawsuit content is
(19:12):
just an immediate marker of whether they're a good or a bad
person. And the case does not allow for
that kind of black and white. It simply does not.
You have to consider all of the factors that go into how people
like metabolize this information.
All of the women who are blindlyon Blake Lively's side, I can
(19:34):
understand until it gets to the point where they're attacking
the people on the other side, like me.
Like when you start with like the whole, you have to be like
your red pill right wing, whatever.
That's such nonsense. I'm never going to sacrifice my
honest opinion about anything for the sake of a movement or a
(19:59):
people. I think that the truth is far
more useful in in almost every circumstance.
But I can understand that, right?
Like I can understand that thereare.
Decent, good, kind, wonderful people who believe Blake Lively.
And there are plenty of people who think that.
A lot of the people who believe Justin Baldoni are good, kind
(20:22):
people. As I see those numbers
dwindling, I like to extract myself from the conversation
because it's not fucking worth it and also to follow up on the
it's not worth it. This woman has been subpoenaing
many social media platforms fromGoogle to X and to Twitter.
I put a TikTok out today about how I didn't understand this
(20:45):
move because she's asking for the back end information for a
handful of users that she's identified as being likely
involved with this undetectable,untraceable smear campaign that
Wayfarer waged against her in the summer of 2024.
She's fishing. It's a fishing expedition.
(21:06):
But at the same time, I'm not going to lie, if I'm just
looking at the dates and the numbers and the steep drop off,
I explicitly remember, like thiswas seared into my brain, a
visual of her positive and negative associations of like
her name online. Like how many times Blake Lively
(21:27):
was mentioned in a positive way over how long?
And you saw like positive for years.
And then there was a drop in herreputation, her, the way that
people were speaking about her online late in the summer of
2023-2024, whatever. And I can understand as someone
(21:48):
who values data, why that would be something that you would want
to investigate for sure. Given that data, I would also
want to investigate what factorscould have contributed to that
incredible drop off in like my social temperature.
And there's investigating and being absolutely motherfucking
(22:11):
delusional, right? When I say I don't believe a
single person has been paid for side, actually, I'm not so sure
about that anymore. I don't think that any person
has been paid from the Baldoni side, really from the Wayfarer
side. I think I know all the major
players. I really don't think a single
person, and if you asked me thismorning, I would say I don't
(22:33):
think a single person even on the Blake side has been paid.
I don't think anyone is being paid on her side to say like
positive things about her, negative things about Baldonium.
But the more incessantly is she pursues this and the more
aggressive the an adamant she isthat this is a thing that
happened. It makes me think, are you
(22:54):
telling on yourself? Is this something that you are
doing? Does she think that even though
she's pressing forward so aggressively with these claims,
that Wayfarer is working with content creators and Justin
Baldoni is like paying content creators to say negative things
about Blake Lively? That even though she's been
alleging this for the entire year thus far, that people would
(23:18):
just continue on doing the same shit knowing that like discovery
was coming. I don't understand.
I don't, I don't understand at all what she's thinking.
It doesn't seem very strategic. But I will say the list of
people on TikTok that she whose accounts she targeted with those
(23:38):
subpoenas. The I did not look this up
myself, but this is from a content creator that I do really
enjoy. Her name is Elsie.
She's I think she goes by the fuck around and find out
associates on TikTok and she's ablack woman.
She's like, what do I got to do to get a subpoena?
She was she seemed actually disturbed that she was not
(24:00):
included in that category of people that were called out in
these TikTok subpoenas. And most I think that's mostly a
joke, but it makes me laugh because obviously I wasn't but
called out either and I have covered her shit rather
extensively. But also if she didn't target
(24:21):
any black content creators in all of these insane fucking
subpoenas, that might be the smartest thing that she's done
like PR wise in this whole situation.
And it's just like removing one avenue of backlash from this
incredibly inflammatory thing that she's doing.
(24:42):
And not, I'm not saying that I would be like, oh, look at her
attacking this young black little lady.
But if her PR people didn't think about that possibility and
that card that would be able to be yielded and all of the
(25:03):
racially based issues and subject matter that she's not
trying to address right now, from the plantation wedding to
the how much money she actually gave to the N double ACP.
And once she was listed as a fucking Titan for her, I don't
know, association with civil rights work for the black
community. I don't know blackface and I can
(25:23):
understand. And it was very wise for her to
just eliminate that one thing toeven have to think about, right?
That's what I would recommend toher if I was on her team.
No, just don't. There are enough people to
hassle otherwise like it the juice is not worth the squeeze
because honestly I'm not being paid.
Elsie's not being paid. If she did try and she failed,
(25:48):
she was wrong. She falsely accused us, which
would that would be like. That's why this is the smartest
thing that she's done. Also, like, I'm not trying to
water board you guys with like Lively and Justin Baldoni shit
when there isn't much to discussand there's always going to be
like legal minutia to cover and also not stuff that's like
(26:10):
minutia, but just very detailed requires like dedicated
conversation to understand the nuance.
So I would recommend for that goto not actually golden.
OK, she's a lawyer, she's a smart lady, she's a smart lady.
And I think that her takes have been not only like, very
(26:32):
informative, I feel like she makes me smarter, but also I do
believe she tries to be as unbiased as possible regardless
of what anybody says. Sometimes unbiased will seem
biased to those who feel as though they know 100% whatever
the truth is. So often times she can't win.
She's the one with either side, which indicates to me she's
(26:52):
doing her best. So I will still talk about Blake
Lively and Justin Baldoni when things come up that I think are
important or worth mentioning, but otherwise, I'm not just
going to talk about them every week.
There's not going to be a dedicated Justin Baldoni, Blake
Lively segment. You can find that so many other
places. I'm not going to be a unique
(27:14):
value add in that situation. And also like I'm better when
I'm not bored by a topic. And I can't say that we haven't
gotten to that point yet. All right, on to the next.
I know I wrote this list, but I just rolled my eyes at myself.
The CEO who got caught cheating,he got caught cheating and he
(27:34):
unified a goddamn nation. So what's them to say about this
if you are living under a fucking rock, under a boulder?
OK, I I'm sorry, I just got so offended by the idea that you
wouldn't know what I'm talking about.
But Coldplay concert in Boston and in some box there was like a
(27:56):
kiss Cam situation. A box was shown and there were
two people, a man standing behind a woman.
His arms were wrapped around herand the second the camera went
on to them they freaked the fuckout.
She covered her face and turned around.
He fell to the ground literally like he was caught with a
Pentecostal spirit just dragged to the floor and I immediately
(28:20):
thought the same thing that everybody else thought.
I would. Imagine like if you would just
behave like a normal person and frozen maybe in place, then that
would have just been another benign kiss Cam moment, right?
Maybe if you just gave her a Peck on the head, no one would
have thought twice about it. Perhaps the chances of someone
(28:41):
that he knew, let alone knew well enough where they had to
communicate it with to his wife or her husband would have been
very low. But no, they lost.
They're cool. They lost their minds.
And it became very obvious, so obvious that Chris Martin said
they're either very shy or they're having an affair.
Turns out it's the latter. Oh God.
(29:03):
He's the CEO of the company. She's the head of HR, like the
chief something people officer, whatever, all the C-Suite.
OK, so he was fired. He's a billionaire, he'll be
just fine. And she's also like senior
staff. She's not like some little baby
underlings. She's not like the intern.
And she's the head of HRI. Guess she put herself on leave
(29:25):
because she's not fired, but sheis not in the office right now.
And my favorite thing in the world is that there are sporting
events and concerts all over this country every single day,
multiple places. And there are kiss cams
everywhere. And the rate in which people are
re enacting this, it's incredible.
It's also makes me feel a littlesad for the spouses that were
(29:47):
cheated on because your heartbreak shouldn't be our
hilarious city. But alas, here we are.
We've had a tough 7899 months. We've had a tough nine months,
and we're going to take our walls wherever we can find them.
Andy. Handy Andy, Handy Andy.
(30:08):
That's all I gotta say about that.
OK, Sheena, Shea's book is available now.
I told you guys last week. They rescinded their offer to
send me her book like after 20 minutes I would imagine after
looking at my socials for a second, realizing that I am not
her biggest fan. But any who's all.
I had no plans on talking about this book again until I saw a
(30:29):
social media post about this thing where she highlights every
famous man that she is hooked upwith and we got to talk about
this shit. OK, one moment.
She then proceeded to list the extensive selection of famous
men she hooked up with, revealing Jesse Metcalf, Eddie
Cibrian, John Mayer, Shamar Moore.
(30:52):
That one Hurt. Josh Hopkins, Shane West, Jesse
McCartney, Jesse Chasse, Adrian Grenier, Ricardo Chevera,
William Tell, 2 actors from the notebook and a few NFLNBA and
MLB players. I hadn't read the whole list.
I hadn't. I just copied and pasted.
(31:14):
But like when you say it all outloud like that, why why why
publicize this? This feels like so unnecessary.
Also, if you're going to put this in the book, why not?
Why publicize this part of the book?
Wouldn't you want this to be thebit that people, I'm a feminist
OK? And I am sex positive as hell.
(31:36):
And that's why I'm going to moveon from this subject.
I'm going to move on. One thing I will say is the fact
that Sheena Shea has fucked Shamar Moore is something that
will haunt my dreams, my nightmares that I will never get
over. There's something about that one
name, Shamar Moore. Sheena Shea.
(32:00):
Life isn't fair. Next topic, The Real Housewives
of Miami, this whole goddess party situation.
I do agree that Lisa was ganged the fuck up on.
It was everybody against Lisa and I don't appreciate Lisa's
characteristics. Do I think she's very
self-centered? Absolutely.
Do I believe that being that kind of late to every team
activity, group activity is a sign of like, narcissism?
(32:24):
Although we do throw that word around quite frequently.
But just like, not giving a fuckabout anybody else's time and
assuming that everything revolves around you.
Yeah, not cute. But at the same time, it seemed
like there was an entire party thrown with vendors exclusively
to make Lisa feel bad about herself in very unique and
different ways. And maybe she deserves it, maybe
(32:45):
she doesn't, but it still felt fucking weird.
Yeah, Julia, the worst. I just put out a TikTok that
said I I don't know whether she had a personality transplant or
whether she is possessed by Lucifer himself because I didn't
know we could. I thought that throwing a drink
in the in a cancer patient's face was a cancellable offense,
(33:07):
full stop, period. I thought that was the case.
Turns out it is not and she doesn't seem to understand the
problem. She is a consummate victim.
She is actually more self-centered I'm pretty sure
than Lisa is. And she's like, I don't like
quirky shitty people. Like, I have a farm and it's
(33:32):
just too hard for my brain to towrap around.
Her behavior towards Gertie thisseason thus far has been
absolutely horrific. She can not qualify herself as
the victim in any way in any of their interactions.
Yeah, Gertie called you a fucking hyena because you were
behaving like one, but at least she used her words and like the
(33:55):
beast you are. You assaulted her.
It's giving beast. OK.
Like, I don't know what else to fucking tell you.
Larsa is stupid and vicious. I write these things down, and
sometimes I don't remember to, like, not read verbatim, but
what I really, I literally wrote.
Larsa is stupid and vicious. She's not someone I'd want to
deal with because you're never going to have a peaceful
(34:17):
friendship with that Lady. Yeah, she doesn't give anyone
grace, although she requires so fucking much.
She goes for the jugular. There's nothing like mature or
level headed about her. She doesn't behave in a way that
like, seems like she actually values her friendships, at least
(34:38):
in the way she talks to people. And she's stupid, right?
So she'll say the dumbest shit was such conviction.
Oh my God. I will never forget her telling
Doctor Nicole, Anesthesiologist Nicole, that all she does for a
living is to put people to sleep.
You should be impressed with that, Larsa.
The fact that they included a clip of Larsa watching Trump was
(35:01):
done on purpose. Did you guys speak that when
Lisa was like in the bathroom having her like a little
emotional breakdown about how Larsa told her that nobody likes
her and everyone's always talking shit about how terrible
she is. They cut back to Larsa and Larsa
was like listening to a Trump speech about like why they
shouldn't have over Kamala Harris.
I feel like that was a such a purposeful bit to put in there.
(35:23):
He could have dubbed over the sound.
He could have picked any other segment when it wasn't so
obvious what she was listening to.
But someone in that editing roomdecided this is important
context and I don't think we should throw it out the window.
We should. We should clock, clock it.
I'm starting to find Lisa Charming.
I said what I said. I don't have anything to back it
(35:43):
up, but maybe it's simply because of her being attacked in
such a vulnerable moment in her life, even though like, she does
have many characteristics that Iwould absolutely avoid in a
friend. I don't necessarily think I
would be friends with her, but like of her ilk of the ones in
her cohort, I believe that she does have a decent heart a
(36:08):
little bit. Oh, and I'll be honest, I don't
pick up my phone either. Maybe that's why I sympathize
with Lisa. I'm a do not disturb Gurley,
can't have anyone think that I'mavailable to them at any time.
Expectations make me want not work ones, obviously no, those I
(36:31):
get, but just like personal ones, that freaks me out and
that's on me. That's on my trauma.
That's on my emotional stuntedness.
OK, that's on me. But all I'm saying is I can't be
tethered to a ringtone or a notification.
I don't. I want, I don't want to live in
(36:52):
that universe. I want to get to my
notifications when I'm in the proper headspace and then
address them accordingly. I'm not on your timeline, OK,
And you're not on my timeline either.
You have to respond to me. Wow, I really just put my
commitment issues on fucking blast there, did I not?
(37:13):
Oh my God, we have to talk aboutThe Valley.
This episode is coming to you one day late because as I was
uploading this yesterday, I recalled that on Tuesday night
was the season finale of Season 2 of The Valley.
And I just could not see myself waiting an entire week to
discuss it with you guys. So I made the executive decision
(37:36):
to watch it early in the morningand like, just try to get this
out as soon as I can on a Wednesday.
It's worth the wait because there's so much to talk about.
That then party doggy. They were all in in just rare
form, every last one of them. No, you know what?
Jasmine was the most coherent and not randomly angry that
(38:00):
she's ever been. And that's nice.
That's very nice. Let's start with good stuff,
right? I was feeling a little weirdly
emotional during Kristen's little chat with Brittany about
her infertility issues. Like we're watching in real time
that like she gets what she wants.
We know how the story ends, right?
We know she has her beautiful baby daughter Kai and things
(38:23):
work out. So it was just, it reminded me
of those TikTok videos where it's just this girl doesn't know
it yet, but in two hours XYZ. But it's like Kristen doesn't
know it yet, but like this time next year she'll have a little
baby of her own. This is how you know I'm a good
person because I can still feel happy for people I don't
particularly like. Although like I said last week,
(38:46):
that bitch is growing on me. OK, next, Jack saying that
whenever Danny comes to his bar,he's feeling up girls.
OK, so Jack said that Danny feltup women and was causing such a
ruckus as this drunk, belligerent asshole at his bar
to the point that his business partners had to pull him aside
(39:08):
and basically tell him that Danny's a liability that
shouldn't come back. Jax is a pathological liar, OK?
Him and the truth have never meteach other.
They've never been acquainted. They are strangers.
So when Danny says, yeah, that happened one time and it was a
year ago, I believe him, OK, Because I have no reason not to
(39:30):
and I have every reason not to with Jackson.
I'm going to give the man the Benny of the D Why not?
I think that NIA is just such a bad bitch.
The way she handles Janet is just it's pageant queen shit.
When Janet walked up to her at the bar, she was immediately
like, Oh my God, you look so beautiful like Princess Jasmine.
(39:51):
What she was really saying is gofuck yourself, you stupid cunt
thesaurus. And it was so easy to read in
between those lines. It's just, it's something to be
applauded, OK? It's a muscle that she has
clearly exercised and mastered. And it's not the most vicious,
It's not the most brutal, it's not the most loud.
(40:12):
But NIA is cutting in her own way.
And maybe it's because she's just so damn pretty.
Like you want this pretty angelic bitch to be your friend
and she's not trying to be Janet's friend.
And I appreciate that about her.Also, Danny did stop drinking
and that makes a lot of sense because this is not a safe
(40:33):
space. Also, maybe Danny does have an
issue with alcohol. This kind of berating him in
public approach is not going to help him.
It's not going to fix that. It's not going to change
anything. It's probably the least
productive way to go about telling a loved one that you're
concerned about their consumption habits.
(40:55):
There was a moment when he and NIA were standing there, and NIA
was like, the cameras caught that.
And he's. What the fuck, bitch?
Yeah, there's a camera right there.
There's a camera right here. We're recording a reality TV
show. What do you mean there are
cameras? That we signed the same
contract. So, like, the frustration was
(41:16):
palpable because he's. I cannot handle having to play
defense and offense against thislike raging Neanderthal cokehead
and also comfort you because you're embarrassed that this is
going to be a topic of conversation for national
television. There's just too many data
points to deal with at the moment.
(41:36):
So there is some truth to what Jack said about, oh, wanting to
appear perfect and being very uncomfortable with being honest
about the flaws in their relationship or some of the more
hard stuff that they're currently dealing in their
relationship. But still, the approach and also
the person delivering the message, the cokehead can't give
(41:57):
that message. OK, No leg to stand on.
Doesn't even begin right? Your intentions will never be
pure. You're probably high as we
fucking speak. OK, you sweaty little bitch
baby. As Brittany put it.
I don't think she said bitch baby, maybe manchild.
(42:17):
But like, same difference. Any use them.
So it would seem as though Jessehas experienced an exorcism of
sorts. There have been some demons cast
out of him. I'm not sure what happened last
week. I said, oh, he seems to have
toned shit down. During the Hawaii trip he seemed
far more benign than usual. And during that conversation he
(42:39):
had with Michelle about wanting to wave the white flag and live
in peace and harmony? Call me a naive little bitch,
but I believe him. But I can't say anything until
we watch the finale because you're not going to make me look
like a fool. Any man who thinks that the
solution to his problems in his relationship is ayahuasca, that
(43:03):
is not a serious man. You got to run from that man.
And I don't know, but watching him with Isabella is really
cute. You can tell he adores that
baby, that baby. I was really ready to be a bitch
about the whole concept of a Zenparty because that doesn't need
much explaining. But it was really sweet what
Michelle did because like the crystals that she chose and the
(43:26):
little notes that she wrote, they were all very thoughtful.
They all actually pertained to the people she gave them to, and
she thought they would be helpful.
And I think that's very sweet. Things did descend into chaos
rather quickly after that sweet moment, though.
Literally the chaos. It was a tsunami of of psycho
(43:47):
personalities. OK, everybody had a grievance to
grieve. This was the reality show
showdown. OK, Everybody was trying to get
their moment in the sun, including Sheena motherfucking
Shia. Sheena Marie.
Oh, Sheena Marie. I have to start with, who the
fuck is Jenna? Why are, what do you mean Jenna
(44:10):
who? I recall that name maybe being
said once or twice during the season, but I don't recall what
the issue was who brought it up.But I do know it had absolutely
nothing to do with Sheena. Nothing to do with Sheena.
Those lines never interconnected.
Jenna drama Sheena parallel line.
(44:31):
OK they're they never cross. And yet somehow Sheena was like
hey Cameron and mic me up. Why are you blaming me for the
Jenna stuff? Kristen, what the fuck are you
talking about? What do you mean Sheena What?
Jenna's stuff. I 100% believe that Sheena
completely fabricated her involvement in this like Jenna
(44:54):
drama just so she'd be able to say something during this
episode. Otherwise she's just standing
there doing her shishu mannequinthing.
Oh my God. I wonder if she gets it paid by
word. And she also said oh I just
wanted to clear the Hawaii stuffup.
What do you mean Sheena? Bitch, What could you even
possibly be talking about right now?
(45:17):
Get out of here. Get out of here.
And then Brock with his stupid blonde bleached blonde hair
looking like a thumb Humpty Dumpty.
But Zach was a star. He had a melt motherfucking down
and it was incredible when he looked at Britney.
Because if you guys didn't know,a recurring theme this season
(45:41):
was Brittany taking Janet's sidein any kind of drama that
occurred or just not being as loyal to Zach and Kristen as as
she is to Janet. And I think everyone can agree
that Janet is pretty motherfucking horrible.
So say Lavim not being sacked right The moment he looked at
Brittany and said she's going toskin you and wear you like a
(46:05):
coat and died. I died.
I died, I died. I died.
It's so fucking hilarious. Oh my God, what?
He just he lost it. He had a nervous break when
Janet was walking at him screaming bye bye, just like
bucking at the door. But he's stop that.
I don't like it. He's incredible and like
(46:28):
obviously he was drunk and I heard Jason say the thing about
your eyes are going One Direction and the other and as a
bitch whose eyes have gone crisscross before due to
inebriation, I feel your pain Zackie.
And I don't think that the his grievances are were made-up
either. I think he's actually very hurt
that Britney doesn't seem to prioritize his friendship over
(46:51):
this Jannot this lady. And what else was he mad about?
Because that man seemed to be mad about quite a lot.
He was generally hilarious the entire episode.
He's so funny. Zach is my favorite on the
Valley. I can safely say that.
The way that motherfucker has grown on me this entire season.
(47:12):
It started honestly during the Big Bear trip last season when
he just put up that Instagram story of his just pitch black
and he tagged Big Ben full location.
That's just so fucking twisted and hilarious.
Come on. I knew that the friendship or
like the the peace that was brokered between Zach and Janet
(47:34):
wasn't going to last very long because she didn't ever like
laugh at that. That would be the first thing I
brought up. I would say after apologies and
hugs, I'd say got to be honest, the Big Bear thing was pretty
funny because come on, that's just what a sick, twisted,
hilarious fuck you got to be to do that.
It's just it was incredible. Yeah, obviously he's he plays
(47:57):
things up for the show and he wants to be a reality TV star
and that's fine. I like people who stand in their
truth. But he's entertaining whilst he
does it. OK, He makes me laugh.
His confessionals are really fucking good.
I I find him very entertaining. He definitely stepped his game
up from season 1. Jasmine tried to do the same
(48:20):
thing. It was much less coherent.
OK, and also it was a little dark and I don't know.
And just can we get back to thisgenista?
What the fuck is the genista? Nobody cares about the genista.
The people, the Zen party didn'teven care about the genista.
I don't even know why that was given an iota of screen time.
(48:43):
It wasn't like the B storyline. The C story is the Z storyline.
Jenna. Who is Jenna?
Why? Why do we care?
Why does Sheena think that she and Jenna are involved?
Why is Sheena in Jenna? Why that that was the Valley
incredible episode. So excited for the three-part
(49:06):
reunion. I'm sure I don't know whether or
not Jax knew that this was the end of the road for him prior to
shooting the season finale. I think I'm I would think not
because that's just a liability and I made this.
I don't know if I mentioned thislast week, but like, I'm
actually scared for Britney's safety because a man with
(49:29):
nothing to lose and who has beenvery clear that he wants nothing
good for his ex is liable to lash out when you know, his most
surprised possession, which isn't his family or his ex-wife
or his kid even. But this reality TV show, his
show, like rabid animals when cornered, will attack and he
(49:50):
might attack her. I'm not thinking that he knew
before the reunion was shot. It's going to be a good one and
I think I'm going to be releasing these episodes on
Wednesday for the next three weeks so that we can talk about
it because it's just going to begood, OK?
I know it. The show has given me life this
season and I'm not afraid for what's going to happen to the
(50:13):
show in the future without Jax. Like the show is good enough
without a potential serial killer on it.
That is not the kind of drama that we that's that's a
lifetime. That's not Bravo.
That's lifetime. That's not Bravo.
And I'd like to close this little chat sesh about the
Valley with part of Kristen's apology to Janet.
(50:37):
She said sometimes I just say colorful, shitty things.
And this is in reference to her saying that Janet was a whore
and that she would beat her up. And then she has the audacity to
look at Janet and say, I wouldn't care if someone said
that to me. Kristen Kiki, don't be crazy.
See, I'm allowed to say it. That shit was hilarious, all
(51:00):
right? And you can just see in Janet's
face that she's a broken woman. She's tired, she's tired.
She just doesn't want to engage.And I don't blame her.
But this is the party you signedup for.
Listen, like I said, there's nothing wrong with being a fan.
There's nothing wrong with beinga goal oriented queen.
And you wanted to be a reality TV diva and this is the life you
(51:21):
wanted, this life of Kristen Doty calling you a whore and
threatening your safety, physical safety on national
television. This is the life you dreamed of,
ma'am. So have fun.
Thank you for listening to Surround Things, your favorite
pop culture podcast. I've had such a lovely time
talking shit with you today. Look forward to chatting with
(51:43):
you next week. Please comment and subscribe if
you enjoyed yourself. If you didn't like, comment nice
things and subscribe anyways because we'll take the hate
lessons. Also, you're gorgeous, you're
perfect, you're lovely. Keep shaking that ass, Toodaloo.
Welcome to Surround Things, a podcast for women who like the
reality TV trashy, their takes hot, and their brains activated.
I am your host, Serrano Kava. How do you guys steadily do How
I've missed you? It's been a week, hasn't it?
The news has been many things, entertaining, disconcerting,
life altering, just the huge for2025.
(00:34):
But. But today we shall laugh.
We shall talk about important events in the pop culture
stratosphere as well as like thepolitical zeitgeist.
We're going to tackle Blake Lively again.
I know it's been a while, and I have an explanation.
We'll be talking about Denise Richards and her estrangement
(00:58):
from husband to Erin. And then we're also going to
talk about the astronomer at theColdplay concert that was
discovered via Kiss Kim and alsoSheena's book.
It's I did not read it. I did not accept it, but there
is a bit of it that is worth discussing, that's for damn
(01:19):
sure. And then, of course, there's
Real Housewives of Miami. I don't have much to say about
it, but I do need to say my piece.
Actually, my piece is just fuck you, Julia.
I don't know if I need to say much more than that, but any
who's E All right, so, as always, we can kick it off with
main character things. This is the segment where I
(01:40):
regale you with fun tidbits about my life, unhinged or
otherwise, and you just nod along and tell me I'm perfect,
flawless, gorgeous, studying. Just the apple of your eye, the
light of your life, the wind beneath your.
OK, have you guys heard of the Tapp?
Have you heard of the T app? OK, so if you've heard of the
(02:04):
Have you dated this guy or like what are those groups called?
Are we dating the same guy groups on Facebook pages?
It's the same energy, but like adedicated app.
And it came to my attention because it was rolling out in
like different geographies over the United States.
California got access to it and their dating ecosystem felt the
(02:27):
impact. And then, I don't know, like
Portland, when my ears perked, it was Deerfields come
motherfucking etiquette. No, that's not true.
That's not right. Connecticut Deer Field OK, so
I've conflated at least seven different things in this moment.
No, that's an exaggeration, but Deerfield, Massachusetts,
(02:49):
Western Massachusetts. Dear Dearborn, MI Michigan.
OK, so different. See, like you got the D in the
M, The D in the M, That's where I got like confused.
Deerfield, Lovely. In Massachusetts.
I do plan on living in that state within the next seven
years. OK, Love Massachusetts,
(03:12):
Peaceful. Lots of just like peaceful
lovely people up in that bitch. And the ones that aren't,
they're very easy to avoid. They are certainly not the
majority. So it's a good time.
It's a good time. Going to tell a joke about how
Amherst has more like Black Lives Matters signs than black
people like easily. And it could be a ratio of four
(03:35):
to one. But I appreciate it.
Love an ally. OK wait what did we get here?
T app geography roll outs OK so my thing is with this T app
which is the API version of the are we dating the same guy
Facebook groups. There isn't a single man that
(03:58):
I've been out on a date with this year that is on that app.
I even looked up my male friendsMario 1 and I live in the
Washington DC area, OK, and there's some ratchet shit going
on up in here, but not by any ofthe men I associate myself with.
And this feels like the men thatlike I didn't end up obviously
(04:21):
I'm still fucking single, but itfelt like such a lovely
reinforcement that my baseline is just decency decent.
It felt good. It felt good.
Moving on to the next. Oh my God, there was a story
that I need to finish from last week.
OK, I started telling the story as an example of how I've always
(04:41):
been caught every single time that I've lied or tried to be
deceptive. And it also ties in with this
point I made in my last main character segment where I was
telling you that I have a hard time finding Ethiopian or
Avishamen, which means Ethiopianor Eritrean, as we are the same
people attractive because they are one very delicately
(05:05):
featured, as are the ladies. And also I was raised being told
that every single I wish a person I saw was a cousin or an
aunt or an uncle or whatever. So it's just if you look like me
and you're a man, you're probably my cousin.
So I've just written you off Annie who's ease.
There's one exception to that rule, and that is the young man
(05:25):
that was the cousin of my childhood best friend.
I will not share her name 'causeshe didn't ask to be associated
with me. But I spent a lot of time with
her family, many gatherings. And at some point this young
gentleman, let's call him John, started to show up.
And, and at this point, I had been at summer classes at a
(05:50):
local Community College. And he mentioned that he had
once taken classes at that Community College as well.
And I remembered it, but I didn't really think it was
anything that serious, anything that would ever need to be drawn
from again. And The thing is, at the
beginning of that summer, I started taking those classes at
(06:15):
the Community College. There was a young man there who
had just come over from Russia who was currently just like in
the midst of getting his creditsup to apply to a four year
university. And he was very handsome.
And he and I hit it off and we started to go out on dates.
So one could maybe say we were dating.
We didn't have a conversation about this.
(06:36):
OK, so it's not like I cheated on anyone.
And this is an important distinction because I went out
one night that summer, it was August, probably towards the
end, and I ran into John, my my best friend's cousin, the Abisha
man, the Eritrean man, tall, handsome cheekbones for days.
(06:56):
As I said before, like, very handsome.
And yeah, no, it didn't take much to convince me to make out
with him. Like, great dance floor make
out, fantastic. He asks me to go out with him a
couple weeks later to a different, like, club.
I was in my early 20s at that stage.
There were lots of clubs. And I didn't ask that many
(07:19):
questions. I was like, OK, I'll just ask
one of my girlfriends to come with me.
A good friend of mine did, and the Russian man, let's call him
Igor. No, that seems a little on the
snoot. No, Luke, let's call him Luke.
So I grabbed one of my girlfriends to go out with me to
the club with John and he said he was going to bring a friend
(07:42):
and it would just be a fun, likea double Danish kind of vibe.
And when we got into the car andwe were driving to the club, he
was like, oh, we're going to meet up with a friend.
And I completely delusional, like not thinking about anything
because honestly, it is bizarre.Who would think?
But my friend was like, well, it's the name of your friend.
(08:06):
And John was like Luke. And at that point my ears
perked. She's like, do you mind telling
me the last name of this Luke? And he said Luke's last name.
And I my heart fell into my asshole.
It was a very distinct feeling. And so I had like approximately
17 to 20 minutes to figure out what the fuck I was going to do
(08:28):
'cause I was on I was on a date with this fellow about to meet
the fella I was actually dating.To be fair, John was cool as
hell. He immediately caught like the
understanding of what the fuck was going on and let me live my
(08:49):
life because obviously I chose the guy that I had been seeing
for much, much longer. I went to the bar with John and
I went home with Luke. These are the stories of the
first four books of the New Testament.
If you ever were curious, we gotMatthew, Mark, Luke and John
(09:09):
covered. So put the Bible, that's the end
of that story. But honestly, I did try to go
back and forth a couple times. Oh, and I had her switch with
me. Oh my God, I had my friend
switch with me because of the guy that had come with John for
my friend. They'd never met before.
She ran cover and I'm pretty sure, Oh my God, she ended up
(09:32):
hooking up with John that night.So it worked out for everyone
because except for John's friend.
Except for John's friend. Good times with the Russian.
Did we all go through that phasewhere like, we were so
aggressively, casually dating that you couldn't commit to
giving like a real name to a manwhen discussing him with your
friends? Because I don't know the
(09:53):
likelihood that there would be another John next week.
Not to sound like a literal hooker, but Oh my God.
My first one star review. I referenced this last week, but
it was a part of the lost audio video, whatever.
So let's do this right now, OK? My first one star review.
(10:16):
It says her main character moment about giving money to a
white man, homeless man was completely tone deaf.
Sorry I forgot. OK.
She described feeling judged by a black man for helping a white
man, then agreed with perceived judgement because that's a
reparations work. She admitted she gave the money
just to escape the situation, not out of compassion.
(10:39):
Homelessness is a human issue, and while race plays a massive
role in systemic inequality, reducing a struggling white man
to a failed symbol of privilege seems dehumanizing.
Felt like his suffering was viewed through a lens of
resentment rather than empathy. I will not be listening again.
(10:59):
And ma'am, I don't blame you, Kim.
I don't blame you because like, I'm not everyone's shy.
Hearing this back, I do recall this story and I literally
obviously do not know what was going on in the mind of that
black man as he watched me give money to that white man.
But can you not allow me to livein this universe, this funny
(11:23):
universe for one minute? OK?
I would imagine Kimberly, that you are a white lady and I gave
the poor white man the money. What more do you want of me?
You want me to feel a specific way whilst doing it?
The end goal was met ma'am. Tone deaf?
I don't know, I think Kim, maybeyou are the tone deaf one.
(11:47):
Let a girl live. And I'm pretty sure I wrapped
that story up by saying that since I am Ethiopian,
technically reparations don't flow my way.
So I wasn't adding to the net negative when a time to be
alive. OK, But thank you for listening.
Thank you for giving it a try, Kimmy.
OK, on to our next segment, things that pop.
(12:11):
This is a segment in which I discuss topics this week in pop
culture that lit me up that thatgot my motor running.
Get them on the highway looking for adventure, whatever comes my
way. OK, born to me.
Wow, sorry, I just have to. OK, this first story is pretty
(12:31):
dark. Denise Richards has filed for
divorce from Aaron and I'm pretty sure that it's actually
Aaron that like went ahead and filed.
This was never going to end in agood place.
I must start there. I have said this before, I have
been critical of this relationship for a long time,
from that moment when they were in the car and he was convincing
(12:56):
her that they were being tailed by some, I don't know, like
secret government agency. And then he's some kind of
holistic, a sound wave healer. And there's nothing wrong with
Eastern medicine, but there are just too many data points and
too many very fucking strange columns for me to trust him.
(13:19):
He was giving Freak from the jump and if you deny that, God
help ya and your self preservation instinct because
dear Lord. Anyways, Denise is alleging that
he has hit her and she was the victim of domestic violence
throughout their relationship. And there was actually a tidbit
from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
(13:41):
As they were leaving a party at Kyle Richard's house, a
microphone picked up Aaron saying that he would crush
Denise's hand for X or Y behavior that she was had or was
going to display. She showed pictures of her black
eyes. Very clear to me that this
cuckoo doodle Doo is very much likely to do some unhinged
(14:03):
things. The most upsetting part to me is
after even doing all of this to her, like physically violating
her, assaulting her, he has the audacity to write some letter
begging for an intervention for Denise claiming that she is off
her motherfucking rocker, that she is like on all these drugs
(14:24):
and is not able to. Like what's it called the
Britney Spears effect, a conservatorship vibe.
Not literally he was pursuing A conservatorship.
But it feels like the merging tracks to 1.
I do understand. I can see with my own two eyes
We all saw that episode with theupside down jacket.
Denise Richards is not OK. Clearly there is some tumult
(14:45):
there and there might be some substance abuse issues.
That doesn't take someone's right to make decisions for
themselves away. OK Like I am 100% on teen.
People are allowed to go crazy and fuck up their lives because
the alternative is that people are allowed to decide what deems
(15:10):
like behavior and thought that is reasonable enough to like,
have sovereignty over your own life.
And that is such a slippery motherfucking slope that I would
much rather allow people to run their lives into the ground.
And The thing is, people are largely allowed to do that.
(15:30):
It's only in situations where there is money involved, where
other people's finances are in jeopardy besides the person who
whose mental capacity is being questioned.
When other people's finances areinvolved, suddenly it's time for
conservatorship. Suddenly it's time for
intervention. But if it's just like Jenny down
the road, she's allowed to have her house go into foreclosure
(15:54):
and not be able to afford her medication or even be able to
remember to do so and end up living on the street, and it's
fine. No, like, you can't have it both
motherfucking ways. I absolutely do not know how we
got onto conservatorships. Denise Richards.
Now I know how we got there. OK, so his letter that he wrote
was very much OK. We got a lobotomized suspension.
(16:16):
It was a very, like, early 20th century consumption, Like crazy
hysterical lady stuff. No one is saying that Denise
Richards is the picture of mental health.
But Sir, you're not at all the person that is going to be the
barometer in which we'd make that decision and also, like,
(16:38):
who is capable of making that decision.
Britney Spears has me fucked up.Like when it comes to any of
this stuff, being a like a sovereign human being that's
able to like, make their own decisions and like, fuck up when
they're going to fuck up and succeed when they're going to
succeed is incredibly important to me.
And the idea of being able to intervene when someone's life is
(17:01):
going down a very, like, dangerous path is also very
important to me. But it seems that like those
very important concepts can be like, switched, reversed,
conflated, and shoved down your throat in circumstances that
completely obliterate their purpose.
So I'm always on the team of more freedom, even in the face
(17:27):
of potential chaos, versus more stringent guidelines when the
assumption is that's going to provide stability, if that makes
any goddamn sense. All right, OK, TLDR Aaron is
insane. No one should fucking believe
him or anything he says about the woman that is alleging that
(17:48):
she was his victim of domestic violence.
And that's that on the I hope that was a very obvious
statement that I just made, but let's be real.
Next topic, why I stopped covering Blake Lively versus
Justin Baldoni. Obviously, there are several
reasons I've gotten this commentso many times over the past like
(18:09):
3 or 4 months since like, my coverage of this whole situation
has toned down. And there are many reasons,
like, I don't ever want me as a content creator, a podcaster,
like an influencer, to be so inextricably aligned with any
story, right? There are like creators that
(18:29):
I've seen who this story has become, like the axis in which
their entire content revolves. And that's not what I'm trying
to do here. I never really want to get
bogged down in any one story where it's a part of like my
identity, full stop. This is not what I'm trying to
do. And also like, people are
(18:50):
batshit crazy. I literally just said I don't
want this to become a part of myidentity.
I'm saying that because I'm watching it before my very eyes
become some people's identity, where the way that people like
metabolize Justin Baldonium Blake Lively lawsuit content is
(19:12):
just an immediate marker of whether they're a good or a bad
person. And the case does not allow for
that kind of black and white. It simply does not.
You have to consider all of the factors that go into how people
like metabolize this information.
All of the women who are blindlyon Blake Lively's side, I can
(19:34):
understand until it gets to the point where they're attacking
the people on the other side, like me.
Like when you start with like the whole, you have to be like
your red pill right wing, whatever.
That's such nonsense. I'm never going to sacrifice my
honest opinion about anything for the sake of a movement or a
(19:59):
people. I think that the truth is far
more useful in in almost every circumstance.
But I can understand that, right?
Like I can understand that thereare.
Decent, good, kind, wonderful people who believe Blake Lively.
And there are plenty of people who think that.
A lot of the people who believe Justin Baldoni are good, kind
(20:22):
people. As I see those numbers
dwindling, I like to extract myself from the conversation
because it's not fucking worth it and also to follow up on the
it's not worth it. This woman has been subpoenaing
many social media platforms fromGoogle to X and to Twitter.
I put a TikTok out today about how I didn't understand this
(20:45):
move because she's asking for the back end information for a
handful of users that she's identified as being likely
involved with this undetectable,untraceable smear campaign that
Wayfarer waged against her in the summer of 2024.
She's fishing. It's a fishing expedition.
(21:06):
But at the same time, I'm not going to lie, if I'm just
looking at the dates and the numbers and the steep drop off,
I explicitly remember, like thiswas seared into my brain, a
visual of her positive and negative associations of like
her name online. Like how many times Blake Lively
(21:27):
was mentioned in a positive way over how long?
And you saw like positive for years.
And then there was a drop in herreputation, her, the way that
people were speaking about her online late in the summer of
2023-2024, whatever. And I can understand as someone
(21:48):
who values data, why that would be something that you would want
to investigate for sure. Given that data, I would also
want to investigate what factorscould have contributed to that
incredible drop off in like my social temperature.
And there's investigating and being absolutely motherfucking
(22:11):
delusional, right? When I say I don't believe a
single person has been paid for side, actually, I'm not so sure
about that anymore. I don't think that any person
has been paid from the Baldoni side, really from the Wayfarer
side. I think I know all the major
players. I really don't think a single
person, and if you asked me thismorning, I would say I don't
(22:33):
think a single person even on the Blake side has been paid.
I don't think anyone is being paid on her side to say like
positive things about her, negative things about Baldonium.
But the more incessantly is she pursues this and the more
aggressive the an adamant she isthat this is a thing that
happened. It makes me think, are you
(22:54):
telling on yourself? Is this something that you are
doing? Does she think that even though
she's pressing forward so aggressively with these claims,
that Wayfarer is working with content creators and Justin
Baldoni is like paying content creators to say negative things
about Blake Lively? That even though she's been
alleging this for the entire year thus far, that people would
(23:18):
just continue on doing the same shit knowing that like discovery
was coming. I don't understand.
I don't, I don't understand at all what she's thinking.
It doesn't seem very strategic. But I will say the list of
people on TikTok that she whose accounts she targeted with those
(23:38):
subpoenas. The I did not look this up
myself, but this is from a content creator that I do really
enjoy. Her name is Elsie.
She's I think she goes by the fuck around and find out
associates on TikTok and she's ablack woman.
She's like, what do I got to do to get a subpoena?
She was she seemed actually disturbed that she was not
(24:00):
included in that category of people that were called out in
these TikTok subpoenas. And most I think that's mostly a
joke, but it makes me laugh because obviously I wasn't but
called out either and I have covered her shit rather
extensively. But also if she didn't target
(24:21):
any black content creators in all of these insane fucking
subpoenas, that might be the smartest thing that she's done
like PR wise in this whole situation.
And it's just like removing one avenue of backlash from this
incredibly inflammatory thing that she's doing.
(24:42):
And not, I'm not saying that I would be like, oh, look at her
attacking this young black little lady.
But if her PR people didn't think about that possibility and
that card that would be able to be yielded and all of the
(25:03):
racially based issues and subject matter that she's not
trying to address right now, from the plantation wedding to
the how much money she actually gave to the N double ACP.
And once she was listed as a fucking Titan for her, I don't
know, association with civil rights work for the black
community. I don't know blackface and I can
(25:23):
understand. And it was very wise for her to
just eliminate that one thing toeven have to think about, right?
That's what I would recommend toher if I was on her team.
No, just don't. There are enough people to
hassle otherwise like it the juice is not worth the squeeze
because honestly I'm not being paid.
Elsie's not being paid. If she did try and she failed,
(25:48):
she was wrong. She falsely accused us, which
would that would be like. That's why this is the smartest
thing that she's done. Also, like, I'm not trying to
water board you guys with like Lively and Justin Baldoni shit
when there isn't much to discussand there's always going to be
like legal minutia to cover and also not stuff that's like
(26:10):
minutia, but just very detailed requires like dedicated
conversation to understand the nuance.
So I would recommend for that goto not actually golden.
OK, she's a lawyer, she's a smart lady, she's a smart lady.
And I think that her takes have been not only like, very
(26:32):
informative, I feel like she makes me smarter, but also I do
believe she tries to be as unbiased as possible regardless
of what anybody says. Sometimes unbiased will seem
biased to those who feel as though they know 100% whatever
the truth is. So often times she can't win.
She's the one with either side, which indicates to me she's
(26:52):
doing her best. So I will still talk about Blake
Lively and Justin Baldoni when things come up that I think are
important or worth mentioning, but otherwise, I'm not just
going to talk about them every week.
There's not going to be a dedicated Justin Baldoni, Blake
Lively segment. You can find that so many other
places. I'm not going to be a unique
(27:14):
value add in that situation. And also like I'm better when
I'm not bored by a topic. And I can't say that we haven't
gotten to that point yet. All right, on to the next.
I know I wrote this list, but I just rolled my eyes at myself.
The CEO who got caught cheating,he got caught cheating and he
(27:34):
unified a goddamn nation. So what's them to say about this
if you are living under a fucking rock, under a boulder?
OK, I I'm sorry, I just got so offended by the idea that you
wouldn't know what I'm talking about.
But Coldplay concert in Boston and in some box there was like a
(27:56):
kiss Cam situation. A box was shown and there were
two people, a man standing behind a woman.
His arms were wrapped around herand the second the camera went
on to them they freaked the fuckout.
She covered her face and turned around.
He fell to the ground literally like he was caught with a
Pentecostal spirit just dragged to the floor and I immediately
(28:20):
thought the same thing that everybody else thought.
I would. Imagine like if you would just
behave like a normal person and frozen maybe in place, then that
would have just been another benign kiss Cam moment, right?
Maybe if you just gave her a Peck on the head, no one would
have thought twice about it. Perhaps the chances of someone
(28:41):
that he knew, let alone knew well enough where they had to
communicate it with to his wife or her husband would have been
very low. But no, they lost.
They're cool. They lost their minds.
And it became very obvious, so obvious that Chris Martin said
they're either very shy or they're having an affair.
Turns out it's the latter. Oh God.
(29:03):
He's the CEO of the company. She's the head of HR, like the
chief something people officer, whatever, all the C-Suite.
OK, so he was fired. He's a billionaire, he'll be
just fine. And she's also like senior
staff. She's not like some little baby
underlings. She's not like the intern.
And she's the head of HRI. Guess she put herself on leave
(29:25):
because she's not fired, but sheis not in the office right now.
And my favorite thing in the world is that there are sporting
events and concerts all over this country every single day,
multiple places. And there are kiss cams
everywhere. And the rate in which people are
re enacting this, it's incredible.
It's also makes me feel a littlesad for the spouses that were
(29:47):
cheated on because your heartbreak shouldn't be our
hilarious city. But alas, here we are.
We've had a tough 7899 months. We've had a tough nine months,
and we're going to take our walls wherever we can find them.
Andy. Handy Andy, Handy Andy.
(30:08):
That's all I gotta say about that.
OK, Sheena, Shea's book is available now.
I told you guys last week. They rescinded their offer to
send me her book like after 20 minutes I would imagine after
looking at my socials for a second, realizing that I am not
her biggest fan. But any who's all.
I had no plans on talking about this book again until I saw a
(30:29):
social media post about this thing where she highlights every
famous man that she is hooked upwith and we got to talk about
this shit. OK, one moment.
She then proceeded to list the extensive selection of famous
men she hooked up with, revealing Jesse Metcalf, Eddie
Cibrian, John Mayer, Shamar Moore.
(30:52):
That one Hurt. Josh Hopkins, Shane West, Jesse
McCartney, Jesse Chasse, Adrian Grenier, Ricardo Chevera,
William Tell, 2 actors from the notebook and a few NFLNBA and
MLB players. I hadn't read the whole list.
I hadn't. I just copied and pasted.
(31:14):
But like when you say it all outloud like that, why why why
publicize this? This feels like so unnecessary.
Also, if you're going to put this in the book, why not?
Why publicize this part of the book?
Wouldn't you want this to be thebit that people, I'm a feminist
OK? And I am sex positive as hell.
(31:36):
And that's why I'm going to moveon from this subject.
I'm going to move on. One thing I will say is the fact
that Sheena Shea has fucked Shamar Moore is something that
will haunt my dreams, my nightmares that I will never get
over. There's something about that one
name, Shamar Moore. Sheena Shea.
(32:00):
Life isn't fair. Next topic, The Real Housewives
of Miami, this whole goddess party situation.
I do agree that Lisa was ganged the fuck up on.
It was everybody against Lisa and I don't appreciate Lisa's
characteristics. Do I think she's very
self-centered? Absolutely.
Do I believe that being that kind of late to every team
activity, group activity is a sign of like, narcissism?
(32:24):
Although we do throw that word around quite frequently.
But just like, not giving a fuckabout anybody else's time and
assuming that everything revolves around you.
Yeah, not cute. But at the same time, it seemed
like there was an entire party thrown with vendors exclusively
to make Lisa feel bad about herself in very unique and
different ways. And maybe she deserves it, maybe
(32:45):
she doesn't, but it still felt fucking weird.
Yeah, Julia, the worst. I just put out a TikTok that
said I I don't know whether she had a personality transplant or
whether she is possessed by Lucifer himself because I didn't
know we could. I thought that throwing a drink
in the in a cancer patient's face was a cancellable offense,
(33:07):
full stop, period. I thought that was the case.
Turns out it is not and she doesn't seem to understand the
problem. She is a consummate victim.
She is actually more self-centered I'm pretty sure
than Lisa is. And she's like, I don't like
quirky shitty people. Like, I have a farm and it's
(33:32):
just too hard for my brain to towrap around.
Her behavior towards Gertie thisseason thus far has been
absolutely horrific. She can not qualify herself as
the victim in any way in any of their interactions.
Yeah, Gertie called you a fucking hyena because you were
behaving like one, but at least she used her words and like the
(33:55):
beast you are. You assaulted her.
It's giving beast. OK.
Like, I don't know what else to fucking tell you.
Larsa is stupid and vicious. I write these things down, and
sometimes I don't remember to, like, not read verbatim, but
what I really, I literally wrote.
Larsa is stupid and vicious. She's not someone I'd want to
deal with because you're never going to have a peaceful
(34:17):
friendship with that Lady. Yeah, she doesn't give anyone
grace, although she requires so fucking much.
She goes for the jugular. There's nothing like mature or
level headed about her. She doesn't behave in a way that
like, seems like she actually values her friendships, at least
(34:38):
in the way she talks to people. And she's stupid, right?
So she'll say the dumbest shit was such conviction.
Oh my God. I will never forget her telling
Doctor Nicole, Anesthesiologist Nicole, that all she does for a
living is to put people to sleep.
You should be impressed with that, Larsa.
The fact that they included a clip of Larsa watching Trump was
(35:01):
done on purpose. Did you guys speak that when
Lisa was like in the bathroom having her like a little
emotional breakdown about how Larsa told her that nobody likes
her and everyone's always talking shit about how terrible
she is. They cut back to Larsa and Larsa
was like listening to a Trump speech about like why they
shouldn't have over Kamala Harris.
I feel like that was a such a purposeful bit to put in there.
(35:23):
He could have dubbed over the sound.
He could have picked any other segment when it wasn't so
obvious what she was listening to.
But someone in that editing roomdecided this is important
context and I don't think we should throw it out the window.
We should. We should clock, clock it.
I'm starting to find Lisa Charming.
I said what I said. I don't have anything to back it
(35:43):
up, but maybe it's simply because of her being attacked in
such a vulnerable moment in her life, even though like, she does
have many characteristics that Iwould absolutely avoid in a
friend. I don't necessarily think I
would be friends with her, but like of her ilk of the ones in
her cohort, I believe that she does have a decent heart a
(36:08):
little bit. Oh, and I'll be honest, I don't
pick up my phone either. Maybe that's why I sympathize
with Lisa. I'm a do not disturb Gurley,
can't have anyone think that I'mavailable to them at any time.
Expectations make me want not work ones, obviously no, those I
(36:31):
get, but just like personal ones, that freaks me out and
that's on me. That's on my trauma.
That's on my emotional stuntedness.
OK, that's on me. But all I'm saying is I can't be
tethered to a ringtone or a notification.
I don't. I want, I don't want to live in
(36:52):
that universe. I want to get to my
notifications when I'm in the proper headspace and then
address them accordingly. I'm not on your timeline, OK,
And you're not on my timeline either.
You have to respond to me. Wow, I really just put my
commitment issues on fucking blast there, did I not?
(37:13):
Oh my God, we have to talk aboutThe Valley.
This episode is coming to you one day late because as I was
uploading this yesterday, I recalled that on Tuesday night
was the season finale of Season 2 of The Valley.
And I just could not see myself waiting an entire week to
discuss it with you guys. So I made the executive decision
(37:36):
to watch it early in the morningand like, just try to get this
out as soon as I can on a Wednesday.
It's worth the wait because there's so much to talk about.
That then party doggy. They were all in in just rare
form, every last one of them. No, you know what?
Jasmine was the most coherent and not randomly angry that
(38:00):
she's ever been. And that's nice.
That's very nice. Let's start with good stuff,
right? I was feeling a little weirdly
emotional during Kristen's little chat with Brittany about
her infertility issues. Like we're watching in real time
that like she gets what she wants.
We know how the story ends, right?
We know she has her beautiful baby daughter Kai and things
(38:23):
work out. So it was just, it reminded me
of those TikTok videos where it's just this girl doesn't know
it yet, but in two hours XYZ. But it's like Kristen doesn't
know it yet, but like this time next year she'll have a little
baby of her own. This is how you know I'm a good
person because I can still feel happy for people I don't
particularly like. Although like I said last week,
(38:46):
that bitch is growing on me. OK, next, Jack saying that
whenever Danny comes to his bar,he's feeling up girls.
OK, so Jack said that Danny feltup women and was causing such a
ruckus as this drunk, belligerent asshole at his bar
to the point that his business partners had to pull him aside
(39:08):
and basically tell him that Danny's a liability that
shouldn't come back. Jax is a pathological liar, OK?
Him and the truth have never meteach other.
They've never been acquainted. They are strangers.
So when Danny says, yeah, that happened one time and it was a
year ago, I believe him, OK, Because I have no reason not to
(39:30):
and I have every reason not to with Jackson.
I'm going to give the man the Benny of the D Why not?
I think that NIA is just such a bad bitch.
The way she handles Janet is just it's pageant queen shit.
When Janet walked up to her at the bar, she was immediately
like, Oh my God, you look so beautiful like Princess Jasmine.
(39:51):
What she was really saying is gofuck yourself, you stupid cunt
thesaurus. And it was so easy to read in
between those lines. It's just, it's something to be
applauded, OK? It's a muscle that she has
clearly exercised and mastered. And it's not the most vicious,
It's not the most brutal, it's not the most loud.
(40:12):
But NIA is cutting in her own way.
And maybe it's because she's just so damn pretty.
Like you want this pretty angelic bitch to be your friend
and she's not trying to be Janet's friend.
And I appreciate that about her.Also, Danny did stop drinking
and that makes a lot of sense because this is not a safe
(40:33):
space. Also, maybe Danny does have an
issue with alcohol. This kind of berating him in
public approach is not going to help him.
It's not going to fix that. It's not going to change
anything. It's probably the least
productive way to go about telling a loved one that you're
concerned about their consumption habits.
(40:55):
There was a moment when he and NIA were standing there, and NIA
was like, the cameras caught that.
And he's. What the fuck, bitch?
Yeah, there's a camera right there.
There's a camera right here. We're recording a reality TV
show. What do you mean there are
cameras? That we signed the same
contract. So, like, the frustration was
(41:16):
palpable because he's. I cannot handle having to play
defense and offense against thislike raging Neanderthal cokehead
and also comfort you because you're embarrassed that this is
going to be a topic of conversation for national
television. There's just too many data
points to deal with at the moment.
(41:36):
So there is some truth to what Jack said about, oh, wanting to
appear perfect and being very uncomfortable with being honest
about the flaws in their relationship or some of the more
hard stuff that they're currently dealing in their
relationship. But still, the approach and also
the person delivering the message, the cokehead can't give
(41:57):
that message. OK, No leg to stand on.
Doesn't even begin right? Your intentions will never be
pure. You're probably high as we
fucking speak. OK, you sweaty little bitch
baby. As Brittany put it.
I don't think she said bitch baby, maybe manchild.
(42:17):
But like, same difference. Any use them.
So it would seem as though Jessehas experienced an exorcism of
sorts. There have been some demons cast
out of him. I'm not sure what happened last
week. I said, oh, he seems to have
toned shit down. During the Hawaii trip he seemed
far more benign than usual. And during that conversation he
(42:39):
had with Michelle about wanting to wave the white flag and live
in peace and harmony? Call me a naive little bitch,
but I believe him. But I can't say anything until
we watch the finale because you're not going to make me look
like a fool. Any man who thinks that the
solution to his problems in his relationship is ayahuasca, that
(43:03):
is not a serious man. You got to run from that man.
And I don't know, but watching him with Isabella is really
cute. You can tell he adores that
baby, that baby. I was really ready to be a bitch
about the whole concept of a Zenparty because that doesn't need
much explaining. But it was really sweet what
Michelle did because like the crystals that she chose and the
(43:26):
little notes that she wrote, they were all very thoughtful.
They all actually pertained to the people she gave them to, and
she thought they would be helpful.
And I think that's very sweet. Things did descend into chaos
rather quickly after that sweet moment, though.
Literally the chaos. It was a tsunami of of psycho
(43:47):
personalities. OK, everybody had a grievance to
grieve. This was the reality show
showdown. OK, Everybody was trying to get
their moment in the sun, including Sheena motherfucking
Shia. Sheena Marie.
Oh, Sheena Marie. I have to start with, who the
fuck is Jenna? Why are, what do you mean Jenna
(44:10):
who? I recall that name maybe being
said once or twice during the season, but I don't recall what
the issue was who brought it up.But I do know it had absolutely
nothing to do with Sheena. Nothing to do with Sheena.
Those lines never interconnected.
Jenna drama Sheena parallel line.
(44:31):
OK they're they never cross. And yet somehow Sheena was like
hey Cameron and mic me up. Why are you blaming me for the
Jenna stuff? Kristen, what the fuck are you
talking about? What do you mean Sheena What?
Jenna's stuff. I 100% believe that Sheena
completely fabricated her involvement in this like Jenna
(44:54):
drama just so she'd be able to say something during this
episode. Otherwise she's just standing
there doing her shishu mannequinthing.
Oh my God. I wonder if she gets it paid by
word. And she also said oh I just
wanted to clear the Hawaii stuffup.
What do you mean Sheena? Bitch, What could you even
possibly be talking about right now?
(45:17):
Get out of here. Get out of here.
And then Brock with his stupid blonde bleached blonde hair
looking like a thumb Humpty Dumpty.
But Zach was a star. He had a melt motherfucking down
and it was incredible when he looked at Britney.
Because if you guys didn't know,a recurring theme this season
(45:41):
was Brittany taking Janet's sidein any kind of drama that
occurred or just not being as loyal to Zach and Kristen as as
she is to Janet. And I think everyone can agree
that Janet is pretty motherfucking horrible.
So say Lavim not being sacked right The moment he looked at
Brittany and said she's going toskin you and wear you like a
(46:05):
coat and died. I died.
I died, I died. I died.
It's so fucking hilarious. Oh my God, what?
He just he lost it. He had a nervous break when
Janet was walking at him screaming bye bye, just like
bucking at the door. But he's stop that.
I don't like it. He's incredible and like
(46:28):
obviously he was drunk and I heard Jason say the thing about
your eyes are going One Direction and the other and as a
bitch whose eyes have gone crisscross before due to
inebriation, I feel your pain Zackie.
And I don't think that the his grievances are were made-up
either. I think he's actually very hurt
that Britney doesn't seem to prioritize his friendship over
(46:51):
this Jannot this lady. And what else was he mad about?
Because that man seemed to be mad about quite a lot.
He was generally hilarious the entire episode.
He's so funny. Zach is my favorite on the
Valley. I can safely say that.
The way that motherfucker has grown on me this entire season.
(47:12):
It started honestly during the Big Bear trip last season when
he just put up that Instagram story of his just pitch black
and he tagged Big Ben full location.
That's just so fucking twisted and hilarious.
Come on. I knew that the friendship or
like the the peace that was brokered between Zach and Janet
(47:34):
wasn't going to last very long because she didn't ever like
laugh at that. That would be the first thing I
brought up. I would say after apologies and
hugs, I'd say got to be honest, the Big Bear thing was pretty
funny because come on, that's just what a sick, twisted,
hilarious fuck you got to be to do that.
It's just it was incredible. Yeah, obviously he's he plays
(47:57):
things up for the show and he wants to be a reality TV star
and that's fine. I like people who stand in their
truth. But he's entertaining whilst he
does it. OK, He makes me laugh.
His confessionals are really fucking good.
I I find him very entertaining. He definitely stepped his game
up from season 1. Jasmine tried to do the same
(48:20):
thing. It was much less coherent.
OK, and also it was a little dark and I don't know.
And just can we get back to thisgenista?
What the fuck is the genista? Nobody cares about the genista.
The people, the Zen party didn'teven care about the genista.
I don't even know why that was given an iota of screen time.
(48:43):
It wasn't like the B storyline. The C story is the Z storyline.
Jenna. Who is Jenna?
Why? Why do we care?
Why does Sheena think that she and Jenna are involved?
Why is Sheena in Jenna? Why that that was the Valley
incredible episode. So excited for the three-part
(49:06):
reunion. I'm sure I don't know whether or
not Jax knew that this was the end of the road for him prior to
shooting the season finale. I think I'm I would think not
because that's just a liability and I made this.
I don't know if I mentioned thislast week, but like, I'm
actually scared for Britney's safety because a man with
(49:29):
nothing to lose and who has beenvery clear that he wants nothing
good for his ex is liable to lash out when you know, his most
surprised possession, which isn't his family or his ex-wife
or his kid even. But this reality TV show, his
show, like rabid animals when cornered, will attack and he
(49:50):
might attack her. I'm not thinking that he knew
before the reunion was shot. It's going to be a good one and
I think I'm going to be releasing these episodes on
Wednesday for the next three weeks so that we can talk about
it because it's just going to begood, OK?
I know it. The show has given me life this
season and I'm not afraid for what's going to happen to the
(50:13):
show in the future without Jax. Like the show is good enough
without a potential serial killer on it.
That is not the kind of drama that we that's that's a
lifetime. That's not Bravo.
That's lifetime. That's not Bravo.
And I'd like to close this little chat sesh about the
Valley with part of Kristen's apology to Janet.
(50:37):
She said sometimes I just say colorful, shitty things.
And this is in reference to her saying that Janet was a whore
and that she would beat her up. And then she has the audacity to
look at Janet and say, I wouldn't care if someone said
that to me. Kristen Kiki, don't be crazy.
See, I'm allowed to say it. That shit was hilarious, all
(51:00):
right? And you can just see in Janet's
face that she's a broken woman. She's tired, she's tired.
She just doesn't want to engage.And I don't blame her.
But this is the party you signedup for.
Listen, like I said, there's nothing wrong with being a fan.
There's nothing wrong with beinga goal oriented queen.
And you wanted to be a reality TV diva and this is the life you
(51:21):
wanted, this life of Kristen Doty calling you a whore and
threatening your safety, physical safety on national
television. This is the life you dreamed of,
ma'am. So have fun.
Thank you for listening to Surround Things, your favorite
pop culture podcast. I've had such a lovely time
talking shit with you today. Look forward to chatting with
(51:43):
you next week. Please comment and subscribe if
you enjoyed yourself. If you didn't like, comment nice
things and subscribe anyways because we'll take the hate
lessons. Also, you're gorgeous, you're
perfect, you're lovely. Keep shaking that ass, Toodaloo.
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