July 17, 2025 • 48 mins
This week on Saron Things:
💅🏾Main Character Things
- I saw a hot Ethiopian man and spiraled. Let’s unpack the identity crisis.
- First One-Star Review - It happened. I have thoughts.
🎬 Things That Pop
Brock cheats on Scheana? Her team tried to recall a press email… which only makes it messier.
The Valley: Kristen’s engaged. Janet’s “Crazy Kristen” commentary? Out of line.
RHOC Premiere: Katie is giving insecure weasel.
RHOM: Larsa’s right, Julia is unwatchable, and Todd’s wording feels legal.
Love Island USA: Amaya & Bryan win! Nicolandria cracked something open in me. Huda? Still not ready.
🔥 Hot Girl Things
Greg Abbott called a special redistricting session. Gavin Newsom said: try me. I break down how gerrymandering props up the GOP—and why Dems finally playing dirty might be the most ethical thing they’ve done.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
Hello and welcome to Saron Things, a podcast for women who
like their reality TV trashy, their take's hot and their minds
activated. I am your host, Saron Al Kaba.
How do you diddly do, my darlings?
Oh, what a week it has been. We have so many fun things to
get into on the pop culture front.
We'll be talking about Barack cheating on Sheena.
(00:36):
Question mark. The question mark is rather
important. And we have, this is a lot of
bravo. So I'll warn you right now, if
you're not into that then still stick around because I'm
hilarious regardless. OK, anyways, we'll be talking
about the Valley. Real Housewives of Orange County
(00:56):
premiered Real Housewives of Miami.
You guys were very adamant that I start watching that and I did
and it didn't disappoint. It really didn't.
It actually shocked me. And of course we're talking
about Lovela Island, Love IslandUSA season 7 finale.
Oh I have thoughts, I have feelings, I have emotions but
(01:18):
TLDRI feel great. But before we can get into all
of that and we got to start withmain character things.
And now that I'm looking at this, I wrote this part of the
outline a couple days ago and a lot can happen in a couple days.
The first thing is hot Ethiopianman.
(01:38):
I can say this, I'm an Ethiopianwoman and I am allowed to have
opinions. I have never been into an
Ethiopian man. I generally do not find them
attractive. There is some or an Abisha man
in general because there is something so delicate about
their features. Also, I think it has something
(02:00):
to do with the fact that my whole entire life, every
Ethiopian person I met, my parents were like, that's your
cousin and that's your cousin, That's your uncle.
And so every Abhisha person I meet, and if you didn't know,
Abhisha refers to Ethiopia and Eritrea.
We were once the same country. Eritrea fought the good fight,
(02:22):
own sovereign nation, very insular nation.
And yeah, that's what Abhisha means.
We look the same, is the point, right?
Like, I think we can all agree that Eritreans and Ethiopians
have a very distinct look. And with the women baddies, OK,
(02:42):
love it, love the delicateness, right?
Love the little button noses, love the little noses and just
like whatever. But with the men, if you're
going to have a pretty face, youhave to have a a girthy body.
OK, that's it. This has nothing to do with race
because every other African nation I'm down with don't be
(03:06):
gross like I'm attracted to. I would full fully give an
opportunity to date me. Absolutely I'd be like, oh, this
guy's hot. I would there have been of every
race the first love of my life, an Egyptian man.
They're all family to me is whatI feel right.
(03:28):
When I was like watch on 21, I was taking summer classes at
this Community College. There was a lovely gentleman.
He had just moved from Russia tothe United States and he was
like trying to get like his credits together to apply to a
four year university and whatnot.
(03:49):
So we met, he was very handsome and we hit it off.
We started dating, like dating, dating.
Our first date was beautiful. He took me to the Occidental at
21 years old. And that's not, that's not
normal. It's not only like bougie, it's
(04:11):
like old DC bougie. It's not hip in any way, shape
or form. It's just, I don't know, like
you'd see Joe Biden having dinner there.
Be honest. He was like at on the Diplomat a
little while ago. So any who's all.
(04:31):
So we were dating, but we had not had the conversation about
being exclusive. And that's very important.
OK. We hadn't closed things off yet,
to borrow some Love Island language.
So we were having a good old line at the time.
I also had a good friend. What do you mean a good friend?
Sorry, but a best friend growingup, she was an Eritrean lady.
(04:56):
Lovely lady. Like I said, Eritreans and
Ethiopians, we basically look exactly the same.
You'd have to be a specialist totell the difference.
But Eritreans are very beautifuland I would argue that they're
even more delicate than an Ethiopian, which is what makes
what I'm about to say alarming because I don't know where this
(05:20):
man came from because I'd known this bitch for since I was 11,
for instance, he appeared out ofnowhere, this cousin, and I'm
pretty sure they're actually like real cousins, not like fake
pretend, like genetics and whatnot.
He was fine. He was like, oh, look at me, the
cheekbones. He was tall.
(05:40):
And like I keep saying, girthy. And that sounds like I'm talking
about not just like someone's full human form.
And that's, that's, that is whatI'm talking about.
He was like not even muscular, just like bigger.
That's all I required. Just like bigger than me.
And he was that and also very handsome.
(06:02):
Like he was, he was pretty, but I don't know, he had the sharp
jaw, cheekbones for Dick. So we flirted at a couple of her
family functions. He told me that he was also
taking classes or had also takenclasses at the same Community
College and it's not something that I ever registered or really
(06:23):
thought about. I went out one night a couple
after I had met him at a couple functions.
I went out one night with a goodfriend of mine and he was at the
same club and one thing leads another.
We we end up making out. DFMO dance floor make out to all
my millennial to all my millennials out there DFMO.
(06:47):
And it was fun. There's nothing like a dance
floor make out like when you're just drunk enough, like your
adrenaline's up from all like the dancing and the movement.
And it's just like one of my best kisses of life was actually
a dance floor make out. And I'm going to name names Trip
(07:08):
Camden at a frat party, basementfrat party, 2009 University of
Virginia. I was shaken, shook, shocked.
And perhaps it was because like,I had just gotten there and I
didn't really pregame heavily, therefore I had all of my wits
about me. But I remember thinking, thus
(07:30):
far, this is a good end. And I just, you just remember
like the tink isn't so fucking weird, the like little things
that you remember that make you feel like butterflies and shit
like that. One memory.
And the other was 9th grade Tyler from my little private
(07:52):
middle school that I went to. We graduated 8th grade.
We had and now we were in 9th all at our different schools,
some public, some private. He'd gone to public, I'd gone to
private, and there was just likethis one night at youth group,
'cause they're all parochial schools, like evangelical.
Oh my God, we've got so far off course.
(08:14):
But any usual. Just wrapping this up.
There was just like a moment in front of the vending machines
where I was like 14 years old. And he put his hand on my lower
back as I was like selecting my Welch's Grape Punch and Oh no,
actually it was a Brisk iced tea.
And I remember him putting his hand on my lower back and I'm, I
(08:37):
was like, this is I became a woman.
I am now a woman. I have felt what it feels like
to be intimate with a man because obviously that was the
first time a man had ever touched my lower back.
A man, another 14 year old and Ihad AI had actually had a huge
crush on him in middle school. Anyways, again, it was a
(08:58):
Christian School. So he's a huge fucking Trumper
now. So any as well, back to the
point. And we never got back to the
point because this is where I lost the recording.
And it's such a juicy story, too.
I'll make sure to finish it on next week's episode.
Guys, I just deleted everything and I literally don't even
(09:18):
fucking hear anymore. OK, OK, You're not gonna break
me. All right, Back to things that
pop. I feel so passionately about
these things, so I go so hard. So repeating it is so insane
because, like, I feel the urge to go as hard, but I know that I
already did it. Any.
(09:40):
OK, so Brock cheats on Sheena. Do we believe it?
No. Maybe.
I don't know, 5050. That's not me being a bitch.
That is Sheena's fault for giving me decades of content of
her being flaky, shallow fuck. He, when she met him, was a
(10:01):
deadbeat dad who hadn't seen twohis only two children for years
because his their mother had a domestic violence restraining
order against him and he was back on like 10s of thousands of
dollars of child support. What am I supposed to do with
that information? What am I supposed to do with
(10:22):
knowing that the next woman had all of this information and
continued on with him and then he fucked her over?
Am I to feel bad for her? Is that my response?
Is that a burden that I should bear?
I don't know. I've said this before.
Like if I described Brock to my worst enemy, they'd be like,
(10:44):
girl, Are you sure, Owen? Not to mention the Brandy of it
all. You literally did this to
someone else. This is a this timing is
strange. She wants the Ariana treatment.
She thinks that by coming forward with this right now, I'm
sure obviously it helps 'cause it'll sell her books, which she
(11:07):
obviously did not write. Let's get that motherfucking
straight. And I don't blame her for that
part. I think you're getting fucked
over. Try to leverage that shit for
your gain as much as you can. That's wonderful.
Good on her for that. But the fact that she just chose
him at all, knowing everything she knows about him, she thought
(11:29):
she was like the exception to the rule.
She thought she was like, special.
Perhaps she laid some blame on his estranged family, the family
he created, but he said that he cheated on her because he was so
scared of being a father again, like whether or not he could do
it. So the fact that he could fix
(11:51):
his mouth to say those words shows that like he hasn't
reflected on the situation at all.
He hasn't gotten he hasn't gotten anywhere near being like
self actualized or understandinghimself or his motivations for
stuff. It's just like the easiest
excuse you can like low hanging fruit like drive onto to sweep
(12:12):
this away and make this go away as quickly as possible and her
forgive you. So.
And then there's also the matterof the taking food out of Lala's
child's mouth for not bringing this up immediately.
So I don't know whether Lala found out immediately or whether
(12:34):
there was a delay. She should be pissed at Sheena
for taking food out of her children's mouth by withholding.
Because this is reality TV. We have to be real Baha.
Oh my God. I found out that Sheena induced
her labor so that Summer Moon was born on the same day as
(12:55):
Brock's child Winter, who he's estranged from.
And her saying you now have a second chance of being a parent,
that's not what this is. It's all the same chance.
You have different children, butit's all the same chance.
Like you don't get to undo your wrongs by doing right with
someone else. You have to do right by those
(13:18):
that you wrong. I don't think that Sheena has
like strong character or morals.I think she's shallow.
I don't know if I think she's like a bad person, I don't think
she has integrity, and if that'sthe metric I'm using to judge
whether someone's a good person or a bad person, then I guess
she is. I guess she is, but not in a
(13:41):
irredeemable way. Oh my God.
The thing is, forgot this, but Igot an e-mail from her publisher
or whatever asking if I wanted like a early copy of her book.
And a couple hours later, I saw that there was a recall.
And I think people think that when in Outlook Express, there's
(14:07):
an option to recall messages that you've sent.
And I think people assume that it's like going to pluck that
message from their inbox and make it so that it's like
nothing ever happened. But I'm pretty sure, like from
this example, they just get sentan e-mail that says recall
e-mail highlights the e-mail andit's supposed to trigger in the
(14:29):
person. You shouldn't take this
seriously. This was sent in error.
This is an error message. We're recalling it.
If you're recalling a car, you don't delete the car from the
person's driveway, right? You give them notice.
So I got one of those notices. I don't know if in that time
they'd seen my social media because that's just silly.
(14:51):
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I've called Sheena Shey, like
walking, talking, chunky highlights, personified for
years now. You don't want to send me her
book? The next subject is The Valley.
It goes hand in hand with the Sheena of it all.
Because in the past, like 3 episodes of the Valley, we've
(15:11):
all seen Sheena just like, standing there wordless,
useless, like a mannequin. Weird.
It's very strange. Get her out of there.
It's so strange. And no matter what, anything she
does, anything she says will read as insincere because we
already know her. Get her and Lala out of here.
(15:33):
Please. For the love of God.
Kristen got engaged. Everyone lost their minds.
I don't understand it. We've talked about this before
on my social media, Janet. OK, let me rewind.
So Kristen gets engaged, Lovely.Every time.
Janet's like, she's crazy, Kristen.
(15:55):
Crazy Kristen being all crazy 'cause she's crazy.
Kristen, I feel this weird thing.
I don't know. I don't think it's
protectiveness. It's just like, how dare you,
Janet, How dare you explain to me who and what Crazy Kristen
is? Crazy Kristen and I have been in
(16:16):
this together for over a decade,OK?
We know Crazy Kristen. We know Kristen, we know Keke.
So you being like, hey, that's look at Crazy Kristen being
crazy. It's just like, you're doing too
motherfucking much. OK, We'll tell you when Crazy
Kristen's being crazy. Kristen, you don't tell us, all
(16:37):
right? You don't tell us.
You just got here, girl. And we might have our qualms
with Kristen. We might have our problems, our
troubles here and there, but whothe fuck are you, Janet?
You're not going to turn US against Kristen.
Kristen already turned US against motherfucking Kristen.
That's over. We know that hoe.
(16:58):
There's something about Janet I find deeply unsettling.
Danny and NIA, delightful. Beautiful Brittany, Selfish
Contosaurus. You got some things.
You just got to eat it, metabolize it, shit it out and
call it a day and you can't makeit.
(17:18):
Other people's problem, Brittany, you learned that you
weren't a part of the engagement.
You immediately once you found out they were engaged, told a
man that takes joy and harming other people and ruining things
for other people. Maybe perhaps that was why Luke
didn't tell you that he was about to propose.
(17:40):
I said this on my social media, but the fact that Jasmine and
Brittany were like NIA and Dannyaren't here right now.
So like why do we have to be? Zach was like, what are you
fucking? What, what universe am I in that
you guys have forgotten that Kristen is like one of your best
friends in the world and we're in Hawaii and her fiance
(18:05):
actually planned this trip. And what does this have to do
with Danny and NIA? That Brittany, from her voice
and the way she was speaking, I know she was like fucked up.
I was just disappointed in them.Jesse, he was fine.
You're not going to fool me justby being from what I'm seeing
and what you've been edited to be is like nice.
(18:27):
I accept it. I I clocked it.
I'm not about to say that I likethe man.
I still think is a horror, but Idon't know we shall see.
I did appreciate Michelle givingus like the context of like when
she met met Jesse. He was like broke living in his
apartment with like his fucking Z gallery Marlowe furniture and
(18:50):
he suddenly turned into Mr. Hermes throw a blanket.
Janet saying that Danny had sexually assaulted someone.
I think I saw the Bravo docket say like in a social media post.
It was what Janet has said. And with the legal definition of
sexual assault in the literal sense, like the physicality of
(19:12):
it, like unwanted contact and like these general sexualized
regions, one of which is the butt ox buttocks.
And I'm pretty sure he grabbed Jasmine's wife's ass.
But there's also an intent portion of things, and that's
the tough part. Did this person do this in a
sexual manner? Any result?
(19:35):
I'm not saying that any of this is going to go to court, but was
it a lot to say that Danny had sexually assaulted Jasmine's
wife or fiance? Yeah, yeah.
I think them's fighting words and from Jasmine's wife,
(19:55):
fiance's reaction to it, she didnot enjoy this being the topic
of conversation. Like this is her body.
This was her experience. This was her trauma, if she even
views it as trauma at all. And I think Janet putting it in
that context when she knows how easy it is for the narrative to
(20:17):
get really ahead of you, she's just the worst.
And So what if she's a fan like.Janet, it's OK if you were a
fan. I'm a fan, all right.
Like we're all fans of something.
Like, I don't know, Jennifer Aniston is a fan of something
(20:39):
hypnotism or hypnotist. That's another topic.
Even you're the most A list of Alist.
Actresses are fans of someone. So don't be so horrified by it.
I think the TLDR of all of this is that Kristen is growing on me
but like at a glacial pace. It is so slow and I fight it.
(21:03):
Truly every. Katie is a little weasel liar.
I don't know what else to tell ya.
She is a little weasel who lies.That should have been the title
of the episode because that's all we covered.
Katie Weasel lying and lying weaseling.
(21:23):
Also, before I get carried away on this topic, I thought that
Tamra was supposed to have quit.I thought there was a whole
thing where she was like, I'm not doing this anymore.
It's not good for me. It's not good for my mental
health. I'm like in I'm now autistic and
in therapy. Therefore I cannot be a Real
housewife of Orange County. You can't tell me that wasn't a
thing that happened. Any who's he what says and then
(21:46):
we have Emily's son who is beingtested for autism and like where
he is on the autism spectrum. And at this point, like the
thing that triggered them tryingto figure this out was because
he is his senses get overly worked.
Like he and also he doesn't liketo eat.
(22:08):
And I can't imagine how stressful that would be to have
a child who can recognize that they're hungry but doesn't want
to eat. And you can see the physical
ramifications of that, like manifesting in their little
bodies every day. He's not growing and he's tired.
And you, it's Emily is really distraught by it.
And I don't obviously don't haveany children, but like, I can
(22:32):
see why that would be very upsetting.
And Emily doesn't trust her because Katie had in my opinion,
lied about her son saying that she was talking shit about
Heather. Her daughter had babysit, sat
Emily's children and she went back to her mother.
(22:53):
Katie is her mother and said this is what the boy said.
And it was like, oh, we don't like Heather because our mom
says she's mean to her. And that didn't sit well with
Katie. And then apparently Katie, like
Katie lies and Katie lies because she's insecure.
And that's like when she was sitting at that table and she
(23:17):
keeps on talking about her relationship with these bloggers
and like these podcasters and like content creators, these
like me's essentially. And she keeps reaching out to
these people and saying it's these people that are reaching
out to her. And there are like several
situations like with Tamra and Ican't even remember what it was,
(23:40):
but it had to do with Adm and she could have sat there and
proven it and she was like, oh, but my phone is on SOSI can't
prove that this woman contacted me and I didn't contact her
because my phone is on SOS and Idon't have service and she
doesn't have service for sure. But like we also have Wi-Fi.
(24:02):
And I know she's lying because Irecognize the look on her face
because I've had that look on myface.
And I've had that panic because whenever I've lied in my life,
I've gotten caught. Every time I've ever lied in my
life, I get caught in like the least subtle horrific.
(24:24):
I don't know whether it's I'm not a good liar or whether the
universe has decided that I'm just like not allowed to lie
because the way I get found out,it's either like real dumb or
like really unexpected diabolical.
And I can go into that in more depth later.
I get into more trouble trying to cover things up.
(24:45):
Then I would just bank off something.
And I know this seems so simple.I've had these moments in my
life where things that seem simple to other people click for
me when they should have clickeda while ago.
Like I remember in middle schoolbeing told that like we you get
(25:05):
demerits for doing something wrong.
And I was told to sit on the stage while people were tearing
down our lunch setup and I had something to do, like I was
thirsty or I wanted to go to thebathroom or blah, blah, blah.
So I got up and I left the stageand I did it once and then I did
(25:25):
it a second time. And my teacher was like, are you
OK? Like you're looking at me in the
aunt. You're telling me you understand
that you are not allowed to, youare not allowed to leave the
stage, but you keep leaving the stage.
And I said, but I decided like different, I, different data
(25:46):
points were added. And so the calculus has changed
and I, I'm a person with will free will.
Therefore, I can make the best decision for myself in this
moment. No, and that's what I learned.
I remember her name was Wispunar.
She looked at me and she was like, no, no, This is why you
keep not listening to me. She looked at me like I was
(26:11):
motherfucking crazy. This was the moment.
This was the moment I realized that I had to listen to
authority outside of my parents because my parents were paying
for me to be at the school. How are you the boss of me?
(26:37):
The long and short of it is, I find it very troubling that
Katie, at her age is lying like a teenager or a child.
But I recognize the panic in herface.
Oh, I'm cornered. I don't know what to do.
She has this SOS thing that's that's like a good cover.
But at the same time, had she actually wanted to show the
(26:59):
proof, she'd be like, all right,I guess I'll find some Wi-Fi,
let me walk around for a second and figure it out instead of
just planting her ass and me like this is my one option.
If I can't get service right here, right now, then what do
you want? Like it's unreasonable.
And the fact that she was like, I haven't even looked up the
(27:19):
message yet. Someone's calling you a liar.
The the older I get, the more I realize how important your word
is. Like your integrity is, like
this person is calling you a liar.
You have the chance to shut themdown, shove it down to their
(27:41):
throat and you're not going to take it.
Obviously you're lying, but thisis the path of least resistance.
If you want to just like evade immediate conflict but not
resolve it, it's going to continue to be awkward.
I don't like Katie. I haven't liked her since her
(28:01):
first season last season when she was like the golf expert.
And then she did that golf party, and she doesn't even know
how to golf in a way that isn't just, oh, I golf, but I'm like,
not good at it, but like, me golf.
And also like, she didn't know the, like, she didn't know
things. Like she said my life is golf.
I just thought of the option, like, her life could be this
(28:24):
thing that she's bad at. Yeah.
The whole episode was basically about Katie the Weasel.
And that's that for the Real Housewives of Orange County.
We got to talk about the Real Housewives of Miami.
OK, so I don't think I've ever said these words before, but
Larsa is correct about Marcus after hearing that text message,
after she read that aloud about I'm going to come for you, I'll
(28:46):
get you. I don't care about your family.
You'll never see me coming. Like someone who actively wants
to hurt her, who is a druggie. Not to sound like an old fucking
fogey, but he's like a little, he's a he's an addict.
We've seen the white moles. So he is unwell and high and
(29:09):
threatening Lisa's best friend of 15 years.
Do I? Do I think it's weird that Larsa
has any best friends of 15 yearsbut Lisa claims to be so Then
act like it. It would be absolutely best shit
crazy for you to risk making Larsa your friend uncomfortable
to for your boyfriend to maintain this very shallow
(29:32):
friendship with this guy that isUN fucking well.
So I gotta agree with Larsa first time for everything.
OK. Then there's Todd and Alexia,
which I find infuriating. She is such a baddie.
She's beautiful. He what is it?
(29:56):
What is this spell he has cast upon her because she's so much
as said I'm living in your fake apartment, your fake rented
apartment. I'm driving your fake rented
car. There's obviously some
implications that what we're seeing about their life and
lifestyle isn't real. And then what she said in like
(30:17):
the first episode where he told her, like, you're going to be
very appreciative that we're nottogether.
It's in your best interest. And this makes me feel like
there's some legal or financial aspect to this that I'm not
seeing. Why in God's name would you have
to disappear whilst this person is out of the house just because
(30:40):
you don't like what she does forwork and how you're depicted?
And I don't get it. Why would you have to move in
that way, especially you were with her for eight years in
front of her son. That shit is absolutely crazy.
And she is. She says the ball's in his court
because he wants to put the blame on me.
But I also think that she hopes that he's going to come to her
(31:03):
and be like, oh, I was overtakenby the devil.
I lost my mind. My my head was, I don't know
where and we should stay married.
I'm going to move my ship back in.
And she'd say OK. And it's he left in secret.
(31:26):
That is not the kind of relationship that can be
rebuilt, right? I've never seen a situation
where a man or a woman has had to hide their departure and they
were able to reconcile and have a decent relationship.
And I have known situations too,specifically where people have
disappeared on their partners and then tried to make it work.
(31:48):
They were both men too, of course.
And of course, we have to talk about Julia and Gertie.
What is going on with Julia? Why is Julia the center of the
universe? Does she need to be taken care
of? She is my least favorite kind of
(32:10):
person. She is actually the kind of
person that I despise. Someone who expects something of
you, period. I expect nothing from it ever.
I I take every interaction as like a blessing, a luxury.
(32:32):
She couldn't get on a fucking Skype call or a Zoom call to
find out that you're the sex of your kid.
What if she had just forgotten? What if she had just forgotten?
That's enough to end your relationship, especially after
she's followed up and she was like, I'm sorry, I didn't get on
the call. What's up?
And you're like, you can see it in the press, even with Julia
(32:54):
and Audriana. I fucking hate Audriana.
She's gross. She's she is a bad person.
She doesn't have morals. She makes no sense.
Everything comes from a place ofego.
But when she sat down with Julia, she was like Julia
immediately was like, I haven't heard from you.
You haven't called me. She was like, you haven't called
(33:15):
me either. And happy as in she didn't
imagine there was any kind of strife in their relationship
that like she was actually holding something against her
for not having reached out because Julia hadn't reached out
either. But she has this expectation of
people dropping things and beingthere from her for her and
(33:36):
centering her. And it's it's like obnoxious.
Everybody else has a lot going on in their lives as well.
Like even at Gertie acted like abitch or like I was extra that
night and wanted to be at a dinner where there was no head
count for her. Should you not just be grateful
(33:56):
that you had a friend stand in for your partner when you needed
her because you emotionally you weren't good enough?
Like to do it on your own? This person sacrificed this
cancer patient who is still dealing with the trauma of her
cancer. Why on God's earth would you
(34:19):
think that? Like, you could judge how she's
showing up for you, She showed up for you and for her to throw
the water in Gertie's face like she is disgusting.
She is a banshee, she is a hyena.
She is uncivilized. Oh God, and her opera is fucking
(34:39):
terrible. OK, people contain multitudes.
You can be a great parent and a bad friend.
It's not black and white. Like good for her for adopting
children and not even good for her for adopting children.
As if that's like some kind of like charity situation.
No, you're lucky enough to have your life blessed with a child
(35:00):
'cause you wanted it so badly. This child, all they did was be
born. So you have this big life change
happening and you expect everyone to drop everything and
center you. And if they don't, you are like
taking tally, you're like writing notes, you're keeping
tabs, you're keeping track. And if there's some shit I hate,
(35:24):
it's someone that keeps track. If I'm going to do something
nice for you, if I'm going to show up for you, if I'm going to
pay for something for you, a dinner or whatever, I shouldn't
ever bring it up again, OK? Ever.
Ever. There's nothing like grosser to
me than treating someone to something and then using it as
(35:46):
leverage and like expecting something else.
If I buy you lunch one day, I have no expectation that you
will buy the next lunch. But if you do, that's fine.
If not like I would, I would never hold that against you
because it was my choice to do that thing.
(36:08):
It's just it feels gross to me. I don't know, it really does.
I'm sorry. And then Martina just posted
like about surrogacy. Something like surrogacy is just
so wrong and I'm sorry. Anything that strips agency away
from people, especially women, really fucking pisses me off.
(36:28):
Oh, you're renting someone's womb?
Oh, you're taking advantage of the disadvantaged.
If the need for money, which we all have, every employer is
taking advantage of the disadvantage, all right.
And like many people use their bodies for work, all right?
(36:48):
Like being Beyoncé is a job. The wear and tear that shit
takes on her body. Being a gymnast, a professional
athlete, there are things that you do, that you're paid for,
that you know there's going to be a trade off with the impact
on your body. Why can't that be the same thing
for surrogacy? It is.
(37:10):
Frankly, it abso fucking lutely is.
Think of them as like Major League fucking athletes, OK?
Lots of wear and tear compensation, compensation shun.
It's as if you know you're plucking women off the streets
saying here's a fiver and maybe a fucking gift card to Dave and
(37:33):
Buster, Metro card and you're forcing her to have your baby.
That's literally not how it works.
It's not how it works. And I've seen some people say
it's just nature. Not everyone's meant to have
children. Go fuck yourself.
That's so easy to say. That's so easy to say.
Everybody is on their own damn journey, all right?
(37:54):
And that's saying gay men aren'tallowed to have biological
children. Are you comfortable saying
that's just not allowed? Are you?
I highly motherfucking doubt it,So please spare me.
So I've had enough of these two,Julia throwing water in the face
of a cancer patient Like this woman is still dealing with the
(38:18):
impact of all of the chemo and the surgeries and whatever.
You just threw water in her face.
Are you crazy? You are an animal.
You're a beast. You're not able to
contextualize, You're not able to triage, you're not able to
hold multiple things at the sametime.
(38:39):
I don't know. And it it it obviously doesn't
sit well with me that the first time she's re behaved in this
like diabolical way was to the one black woman on the cast.
It also lends itself to the whole, oh, Gertie was just there
to be my support. How dare she think that she can
be on the same level as me on this trip.
(39:01):
Are you kidding me? You should be like her, raising
her, thanking her for her being there, not like expecting her to
be your fucking lady and waitingor some shit.
OK, up next, we do have to talk about Love Island.
Oh man, what is there to say? Maya, Amaya and Brian, and I'll
(39:22):
say this a million fucking times.
As long as it was Amaya and Brian and Nick and Olandria in
the final, like I personally won, I would have been happy
with either of them. Obviously my soul, my heart was
with Nick and Oleandria, but Amaya also had my heart So what
the fuck am I to say about that?I truly think that her and Brian
(39:46):
have a connection and I really appreciate that she was told
that she was too much and peopledidn't understand her for the
majority of her time on the show.
And in the last few moments, like the last few breaths, she
was able to meet this man who actually saw her in like very
(40:07):
much. I don't know sees how special
that is because you're not goingto meet many Amayas, right?
Like you are just aren't there. There just aren't very many of
her and that kind of like remarkable, pure, sweet, like
loving, lovely, effervescent personality.
(40:27):
It's a. You don't come across it very
often. So when someone encounters that
and instead of being like, oh, you're too much, oh, this is a
lot. They're like, this feels like
home. That's your person.
And that's exactly what Brian was like.
That's clearly what Brian wanted.
(40:48):
And the fact that his parents love her for who she actually
is, as if she's even capable of being anything else.
To be quite honest, a deserving couple won.
Let's scroll back a bit and just, like, talk about the Final
Four. You guys are out of your
motherfucking minds. I don't understand how we got
(41:10):
here. And I guess by like you guys, I
also mean myself. Like the final four.
That was insane. Nick and Olandrea, Pepe and
Iris, she skate skate skated on by and so did Pepe.
And if you guessed that this is where I lost the audio again,
you would be absolutely correct.Go to my TikTok to see my
(41:32):
thoughts on the rest of the episode.
OK, so let's talk about Greg Abbott and Gavin Newsom in the
political chest that Democrats have suddenly decided they'd
like to take part in. We finally have a Democratic
governor saying whiny bitch. So here's what's happened.
So Texas Governor Greg Abbott calls a special session to push
(41:55):
for another round of redistricting.
No new census, no population shift.
Just like vibes. And like by vibes I mean raw
artisan. How were the state's already
heavily gerrymandered? Republicans control 64% of the
congressional delegation in a state where Trump only won by
like 52% of the vote. So not sure.
(42:19):
That sounds like democracy. Gerrymandering is a tool, voter
suppression is the strategy, andRepublicans are running the
longest of games. So let's break this down.
How do Republicans stay winning?Gerrymandering is not just about
like weird shaped districts. It's about like structurally
(42:39):
rigging the game before a singlevote is cast.
OK so here is the formula. Crack black and brown
communities across districts to dilute their power.
That is it. That is the formula.
Then you pack urban voters into as districts as fucking possible
(43:00):
and then you draw these white rural voters into the sprawling
mega districts that over represent their interests.
So then you layer that on with ID laws and closed polling
stations and voter roll purges and felony disenfranchisement
even though the president of theUnited States is a fucking
(43:22):
felon. Then you have the Republicans
campaigning process. The cornerstone is voter
suppression. It's not subtle, it's not new.
It's effective though, and this is how Republicans hold on to
power even when they're losing the popular vote in state after
state. They figured out that if you
(43:43):
can't win the voters, you can just chew them.
And Democrats, for years, they've chosen the moral high
ground. Or we've chosen the moral high
ground and acted like shocked when it didn't hold under the
GOP. Like fucking bulldozers.
They've treated gerrymandering like it's beneath them, like too
(44:05):
grass, it's too corrupt, it's too dirty to touch, even as
their opponents have been like wallowing in the mud for decades
and winning. But the tide that may be
turning. Enter Governor Gavin Newsom.
He made it very clear that if Republicans keep playing dirty,
California can play too. In specifically in response to
(44:28):
Abbott's special session, Newsomdropped a warning shot.
Keep going, keep going, and we'll redraw our own maps.
Not just protect blue seats, obliterate your red ones.
California currently uses this like nonpartisan redistricting
Commission, something Democrats proudly championed as we are the
(44:50):
models of fucking fairness. But here's the thing.
If fairness only works if everyone agrees to play fair.
So if one side is rewriting the rulebook every cycle in the
other is still acting like it's intramural debate club, that's
not noble. It's negligence.
So let me say this as clearly asI possibly can.
(45:14):
Democratic restraint. It's not ethical when it enables
mass disenfranchisement. It's not brave.
It's not principled, it's cowardice dressed up as virtue.
People are suffering right now because of these maps.
Medicaid didn't expand in dozensof states because of Republican
(45:34):
control sustained by these rigged districts.
Abortion bans passed in legislatures that don't
represent the will of their states.
Public education like labor rights, housing, access, all
gutted by lawmakers who would not have won in a fair fight.
So when Gavin Newsom says we canredraw too, he's not playing tit
(45:58):
for tat. He's saying I won't let you
hijack democracy while we hold the door open for you.
And to that I say fucking good. About damn time.
And there are implications, right?
Let's be clear. If Democratic governors in Big
Blue states start playing this game, like really playing this
(46:18):
game, it could actually shift the national balance.
Not just by winning more seats, but by forcing the issue, by
dragging gerrymandering into theopen and making it a real fight.
Because right now, Republicans know there are no consequences.
They can carve up the maps like fucking rotisserie chickens and
(46:40):
Democrats will still show up talking about bipartisanship.
But if Newsom goes through with this, if other Democratic
governors join him, now the costof Republican aggression, it
goes up. And suddenly redistricting isn't
a one way St. Suddenly there's a reason to
(47:01):
talk about actual reform. So it's not just because it's
right, right, but because it's in both party's interest.
And that's what we've been missing.
So I'm done with applauding Democrats for being polite while
democracy burns. The idea that we preserve some,
(47:21):
like, moral high ground while allowing Republicans to
disenfranchise millions while westay, like, cute and
cooperative. It's delusional and it's
dangerous. And you cannot claim to be the
party of the people while allowing the people's will to be
erased. So if Gavin Newsom is like,
(47:43):
finally ready to throw hands, I'm here for it.
So many of us are here for it. Let the GOP know you want to
redraw. So do we.
Let's make it hurt. And that's that one.
And that's been hot girl things.Because hot girls know that
democracy is not a spectator sport and we're not about to let
(48:06):
it go without a motherfucking fight.
So fight God damn it, fight. And that is our show.
Thank you so much for listening.I've had a wonderful time with
you guys, just like I do every week.
Please rate review and subscribe.
You heard my first one star review.
(48:26):
Please get in there and fight her.
Say I was going to say crazy shit, but you don't have to say
crazy shit. Just say I'm perfect, flawless,
wonderful Georgina and we never got back to the point because
this is where I lost.
Hello and welcome to Saron Things, a podcast for women who
like their reality TV trashy, their take's hot and their minds
activated. I am your host, Saron Al Kaba.
How do you diddly do, my darlings?
Oh, what a week it has been. We have so many fun things to
get into on the pop culture front.
We'll be talking about Barack cheating on Sheena.
(00:36):
Question mark. The question mark is rather
important. And we have, this is a lot of
bravo. So I'll warn you right now, if
you're not into that then still stick around because I'm
hilarious regardless. OK, anyways, we'll be talking
about the Valley. Real Housewives of Orange County
(00:56):
premiered Real Housewives of Miami.
You guys were very adamant that I start watching that and I did
and it didn't disappoint. It really didn't.
It actually shocked me. And of course we're talking
about Lovela Island, Love IslandUSA season 7 finale.
Oh I have thoughts, I have feelings, I have emotions but
(01:18):
TLDRI feel great. But before we can get into all
of that and we got to start withmain character things.
And now that I'm looking at this, I wrote this part of the
outline a couple days ago and a lot can happen in a couple days.
The first thing is hot Ethiopianman.
(01:38):
I can say this, I'm an Ethiopianwoman and I am allowed to have
opinions. I have never been into an
Ethiopian man. I generally do not find them
attractive. There is some or an Abisha man
in general because there is something so delicate about
their features. Also, I think it has something
(02:00):
to do with the fact that my whole entire life, every
Ethiopian person I met, my parents were like, that's your
cousin and that's your cousin, That's your uncle.
And so every Abhisha person I meet, and if you didn't know,
Abhisha refers to Ethiopia and Eritrea.
We were once the same country. Eritrea fought the good fight,
(02:22):
own sovereign nation, very insular nation.
And yeah, that's what Abhisha means.
We look the same, is the point, right?
Like, I think we can all agree that Eritreans and Ethiopians
have a very distinct look. And with the women baddies, OK,
(02:42):
love it, love the delicateness, right?
Love the little button noses, love the little noses and just
like whatever. But with the men, if you're
going to have a pretty face, youhave to have a a girthy body.
OK, that's it. This has nothing to do with race
because every other African nation I'm down with don't be
(03:06):
gross like I'm attracted to. I would full fully give an
opportunity to date me. Absolutely I'd be like, oh, this
guy's hot. I would there have been of every
race the first love of my life, an Egyptian man.
They're all family to me is whatI feel right.
(03:28):
When I was like watch on 21, I was taking summer classes at
this Community College. There was a lovely gentleman.
He had just moved from Russia tothe United States and he was
like trying to get like his credits together to apply to a
four year university and whatnot.
(03:49):
So we met, he was very handsome and we hit it off.
We started dating, like dating, dating.
Our first date was beautiful. He took me to the Occidental at
21 years old. And that's not, that's not
normal. It's not only like bougie, it's
(04:11):
like old DC bougie. It's not hip in any way, shape
or form. It's just, I don't know, like
you'd see Joe Biden having dinner there.
Be honest. He was like at on the Diplomat a
little while ago. So any who's all.
(04:31):
So we were dating, but we had not had the conversation about
being exclusive. And that's very important.
OK. We hadn't closed things off yet,
to borrow some Love Island language.
So we were having a good old line at the time.
I also had a good friend. What do you mean a good friend?
Sorry, but a best friend growingup, she was an Eritrean lady.
(04:56):
Lovely lady. Like I said, Eritreans and
Ethiopians, we basically look exactly the same.
You'd have to be a specialist totell the difference.
But Eritreans are very beautifuland I would argue that they're
even more delicate than an Ethiopian, which is what makes
what I'm about to say alarming because I don't know where this
(05:20):
man came from because I'd known this bitch for since I was 11,
for instance, he appeared out ofnowhere, this cousin, and I'm
pretty sure they're actually like real cousins, not like fake
pretend, like genetics and whatnot.
He was fine. He was like, oh, look at me, the
cheekbones. He was tall.
(05:40):
And like I keep saying, girthy. And that sounds like I'm talking
about not just like someone's full human form.
And that's, that's, that is whatI'm talking about.
He was like not even muscular, just like bigger.
That's all I required. Just like bigger than me.
And he was that and also very handsome.
(06:02):
Like he was, he was pretty, but I don't know, he had the sharp
jaw, cheekbones for Dick. So we flirted at a couple of her
family functions. He told me that he was also
taking classes or had also takenclasses at the same Community
College and it's not something that I ever registered or really
(06:23):
thought about. I went out one night a couple
after I had met him at a couple functions.
I went out one night with a goodfriend of mine and he was at the
same club and one thing leads another.
We we end up making out. DFMO dance floor make out to all
my millennial to all my millennials out there DFMO.
(06:47):
And it was fun. There's nothing like a dance
floor make out like when you're just drunk enough, like your
adrenaline's up from all like the dancing and the movement.
And it's just like one of my best kisses of life was actually
a dance floor make out. And I'm going to name names Trip
(07:08):
Camden at a frat party, basementfrat party, 2009 University of
Virginia. I was shaken, shook, shocked.
And perhaps it was because like,I had just gotten there and I
didn't really pregame heavily, therefore I had all of my wits
about me. But I remember thinking, thus
(07:30):
far, this is a good end. And I just, you just remember
like the tink isn't so fucking weird, the like little things
that you remember that make you feel like butterflies and shit
like that. One memory.
And the other was 9th grade Tyler from my little private
(07:52):
middle school that I went to. We graduated 8th grade.
We had and now we were in 9th all at our different schools,
some public, some private. He'd gone to public, I'd gone to
private, and there was just likethis one night at youth group,
'cause they're all parochial schools, like evangelical.
Oh my God, we've got so far off course.
(08:14):
But any usual. Just wrapping this up.
There was just like a moment in front of the vending machines
where I was like 14 years old. And he put his hand on my lower
back as I was like selecting my Welch's Grape Punch and Oh no,
actually it was a Brisk iced tea.
And I remember him putting his hand on my lower back and I'm, I
(08:37):
was like, this is I became a woman.
I am now a woman. I have felt what it feels like
to be intimate with a man because obviously that was the
first time a man had ever touched my lower back.
A man, another 14 year old and Ihad AI had actually had a huge
crush on him in middle school. Anyways, again, it was a
(08:58):
Christian School. So he's a huge fucking Trumper
now. So any as well, back to the
point. And we never got back to the
point because this is where I lost the recording.
And it's such a juicy story, too.
I'll make sure to finish it on next week's episode.
Guys, I just deleted everything and I literally don't even
(09:18):
fucking hear anymore. OK, OK, You're not gonna break
me. All right, Back to things that
pop. I feel so passionately about
these things, so I go so hard. So repeating it is so insane
because, like, I feel the urge to go as hard, but I know that I
already did it. Any.
(09:40):
OK, so Brock cheats on Sheena. Do we believe it?
No. Maybe.
I don't know, 5050. That's not me being a bitch.
That is Sheena's fault for giving me decades of content of
her being flaky, shallow fuck. He, when she met him, was a
(10:01):
deadbeat dad who hadn't seen twohis only two children for years
because his their mother had a domestic violence restraining
order against him and he was back on like 10s of thousands of
dollars of child support. What am I supposed to do with
that information? What am I supposed to do with
(10:22):
knowing that the next woman had all of this information and
continued on with him and then he fucked her over?
Am I to feel bad for her? Is that my response?
Is that a burden that I should bear?
I don't know. I've said this before.
Like if I described Brock to my worst enemy, they'd be like,
(10:44):
girl, Are you sure, Owen? Not to mention the Brandy of it
all. You literally did this to
someone else. This is a this timing is
strange. She wants the Ariana treatment.
She thinks that by coming forward with this right now, I'm
sure obviously it helps 'cause it'll sell her books, which she
(11:07):
obviously did not write. Let's get that motherfucking
straight. And I don't blame her for that
part. I think you're getting fucked
over. Try to leverage that shit for
your gain as much as you can. That's wonderful.
Good on her for that. But the fact that she just chose
him at all, knowing everything she knows about him, she thought
(11:29):
she was like the exception to the rule.
She thought she was like, special.
Perhaps she laid some blame on his estranged family, the family
he created, but he said that he cheated on her because he was so
scared of being a father again, like whether or not he could do
it. So the fact that he could fix
(11:51):
his mouth to say those words shows that like he hasn't
reflected on the situation at all.
He hasn't gotten he hasn't gotten anywhere near being like
self actualized or understandinghimself or his motivations for
stuff. It's just like the easiest
excuse you can like low hanging fruit like drive onto to sweep
(12:12):
this away and make this go away as quickly as possible and her
forgive you. So.
And then there's also the matterof the taking food out of Lala's
child's mouth for not bringing this up immediately.
So I don't know whether Lala found out immediately or whether
(12:34):
there was a delay. She should be pissed at Sheena
for taking food out of her children's mouth by withholding.
Because this is reality TV. We have to be real Baha.
Oh my God. I found out that Sheena induced
her labor so that Summer Moon was born on the same day as
(12:55):
Brock's child Winter, who he's estranged from.
And her saying you now have a second chance of being a parent,
that's not what this is. It's all the same chance.
You have different children, butit's all the same chance.
Like you don't get to undo your wrongs by doing right with
someone else. You have to do right by those
(13:18):
that you wrong. I don't think that Sheena has
like strong character or morals.I think she's shallow.
I don't know if I think she's like a bad person, I don't think
she has integrity, and if that'sthe metric I'm using to judge
whether someone's a good person or a bad person, then I guess
she is. I guess she is, but not in a
(13:41):
irredeemable way. Oh my God.
The thing is, forgot this, but Igot an e-mail from her publisher
or whatever asking if I wanted like a early copy of her book.
And a couple hours later, I saw that there was a recall.
And I think people think that when in Outlook Express, there's
(14:07):
an option to recall messages that you've sent.
And I think people assume that it's like going to pluck that
message from their inbox and make it so that it's like
nothing ever happened. But I'm pretty sure, like from
this example, they just get sentan e-mail that says recall
e-mail highlights the e-mail andit's supposed to trigger in the
(14:29):
person. You shouldn't take this
seriously. This was sent in error.
This is an error message. We're recalling it.
If you're recalling a car, you don't delete the car from the
person's driveway, right? You give them notice.
So I got one of those notices. I don't know if in that time
they'd seen my social media because that's just silly.
(14:51):
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I've called Sheena Shey, like
walking, talking, chunky highlights, personified for
years now. You don't want to send me her
book? The next subject is The Valley.
It goes hand in hand with the Sheena of it all.
Because in the past, like 3 episodes of the Valley, we've
(15:11):
all seen Sheena just like, standing there wordless,
useless, like a mannequin. Weird.
It's very strange. Get her out of there.
It's so strange. And no matter what, anything she
does, anything she says will read as insincere because we
already know her. Get her and Lala out of here.
(15:33):
Please. For the love of God.
Kristen got engaged. Everyone lost their minds.
I don't understand it. We've talked about this before
on my social media, Janet. OK, let me rewind.
So Kristen gets engaged, Lovely.Every time.
Janet's like, she's crazy, Kristen.
(15:55):
Crazy Kristen being all crazy 'cause she's crazy.
Kristen, I feel this weird thing.
I don't know. I don't think it's
protectiveness. It's just like, how dare you,
Janet, How dare you explain to me who and what Crazy Kristen
is? Crazy Kristen and I have been in
(16:16):
this together for over a decade,OK?
We know Crazy Kristen. We know Kristen, we know Keke.
So you being like, hey, that's look at Crazy Kristen being
crazy. It's just like, you're doing too
motherfucking much. OK, We'll tell you when Crazy
Kristen's being crazy. Kristen, you don't tell us, all
(16:37):
right? You don't tell us.
You just got here, girl. And we might have our qualms
with Kristen. We might have our problems, our
troubles here and there, but whothe fuck are you, Janet?
You're not going to turn US against Kristen.
Kristen already turned US against motherfucking Kristen.
That's over. We know that hoe.
(16:58):
There's something about Janet I find deeply unsettling.
Danny and NIA, delightful. Beautiful Brittany, Selfish
Contosaurus. You got some things.
You just got to eat it, metabolize it, shit it out and
call it a day and you can't makeit.
(17:18):
Other people's problem, Brittany, you learned that you
weren't a part of the engagement.
You immediately once you found out they were engaged, told a
man that takes joy and harming other people and ruining things
for other people. Maybe perhaps that was why Luke
didn't tell you that he was about to propose.
(17:40):
I said this on my social media, but the fact that Jasmine and
Brittany were like NIA and Dannyaren't here right now.
So like why do we have to be? Zach was like, what are you
fucking? What, what universe am I in that
you guys have forgotten that Kristen is like one of your best
friends in the world and we're in Hawaii and her fiance
(18:05):
actually planned this trip. And what does this have to do
with Danny and NIA? That Brittany, from her voice
and the way she was speaking, I know she was like fucked up.
I was just disappointed in them.Jesse, he was fine.
You're not going to fool me justby being from what I'm seeing
and what you've been edited to be is like nice.
(18:27):
I accept it. I I clocked it.
I'm not about to say that I likethe man.
I still think is a horror, but Idon't know we shall see.
I did appreciate Michelle givingus like the context of like when
she met met Jesse. He was like broke living in his
apartment with like his fucking Z gallery Marlowe furniture and
(18:50):
he suddenly turned into Mr. Hermes throw a blanket.
Janet saying that Danny had sexually assaulted someone.
I think I saw the Bravo docket say like in a social media post.
It was what Janet has said. And with the legal definition of
sexual assault in the literal sense, like the physicality of
(19:12):
it, like unwanted contact and like these general sexualized
regions, one of which is the butt ox buttocks.
And I'm pretty sure he grabbed Jasmine's wife's ass.
But there's also an intent portion of things, and that's
the tough part. Did this person do this in a
sexual manner? Any result?
(19:35):
I'm not saying that any of this is going to go to court, but was
it a lot to say that Danny had sexually assaulted Jasmine's
wife or fiance? Yeah, yeah.
I think them's fighting words and from Jasmine's wife,
(19:55):
fiance's reaction to it, she didnot enjoy this being the topic
of conversation. Like this is her body.
This was her experience. This was her trauma, if she even
views it as trauma at all. And I think Janet putting it in
that context when she knows how easy it is for the narrative to
(20:17):
get really ahead of you, she's just the worst.
And So what if she's a fan like.Janet, it's OK if you were a
fan. I'm a fan, all right.
Like we're all fans of something.
Like, I don't know, Jennifer Aniston is a fan of something
(20:39):
hypnotism or hypnotist. That's another topic.
Even you're the most A list of Alist.
Actresses are fans of someone. So don't be so horrified by it.
I think the TLDR of all of this is that Kristen is growing on me
but like at a glacial pace. It is so slow and I fight it.
(21:03):
Truly every. Katie is a little weasel liar.
I don't know what else to tell ya.
She is a little weasel who lies.That should have been the title
of the episode because that's all we covered.
Katie Weasel lying and lying weaseling.
(21:23):
Also, before I get carried away on this topic, I thought that
Tamra was supposed to have quit.I thought there was a whole
thing where she was like, I'm not doing this anymore.
It's not good for me. It's not good for my mental
health. I'm like in I'm now autistic and
in therapy. Therefore I cannot be a Real
housewife of Orange County. You can't tell me that wasn't a
thing that happened. Any who's he what says and then
(21:46):
we have Emily's son who is beingtested for autism and like where
he is on the autism spectrum. And at this point, like the
thing that triggered them tryingto figure this out was because
he is his senses get overly worked.
Like he and also he doesn't liketo eat.
(22:08):
And I can't imagine how stressful that would be to have
a child who can recognize that they're hungry but doesn't want
to eat. And you can see the physical
ramifications of that, like manifesting in their little
bodies every day. He's not growing and he's tired.
And you, it's Emily is really distraught by it.
And I don't obviously don't haveany children, but like, I can
(22:32):
see why that would be very upsetting.
And Emily doesn't trust her because Katie had in my opinion,
lied about her son saying that she was talking shit about
Heather. Her daughter had babysit, sat
Emily's children and she went back to her mother.
(22:53):
Katie is her mother and said this is what the boy said.
And it was like, oh, we don't like Heather because our mom
says she's mean to her. And that didn't sit well with
Katie. And then apparently Katie, like
Katie lies and Katie lies because she's insecure.
And that's like when she was sitting at that table and she
(23:17):
keeps on talking about her relationship with these bloggers
and like these podcasters and like content creators, these
like me's essentially. And she keeps reaching out to
these people and saying it's these people that are reaching
out to her. And there are like several
situations like with Tamra and Ican't even remember what it was,
(23:40):
but it had to do with Adm and she could have sat there and
proven it and she was like, oh, but my phone is on SOSI can't
prove that this woman contacted me and I didn't contact her
because my phone is on SOS and Idon't have service and she
doesn't have service for sure. But like we also have Wi-Fi.
(24:02):
And I know she's lying because Irecognize the look on her face
because I've had that look on myface.
And I've had that panic because whenever I've lied in my life,
I've gotten caught. Every time I've ever lied in my
life, I get caught in like the least subtle horrific.
(24:24):
I don't know whether it's I'm not a good liar or whether the
universe has decided that I'm just like not allowed to lie
because the way I get found out,it's either like real dumb or
like really unexpected diabolical.
And I can go into that in more depth later.
I get into more trouble trying to cover things up.
(24:45):
Then I would just bank off something.
And I know this seems so simple.I've had these moments in my
life where things that seem simple to other people click for
me when they should have clickeda while ago.
Like I remember in middle schoolbeing told that like we you get
(25:05):
demerits for doing something wrong.
And I was told to sit on the stage while people were tearing
down our lunch setup and I had something to do, like I was
thirsty or I wanted to go to thebathroom or blah, blah, blah.
So I got up and I left the stageand I did it once and then I did
(25:25):
it a second time. And my teacher was like, are you
OK? Like you're looking at me in the
aunt. You're telling me you understand
that you are not allowed to, youare not allowed to leave the
stage, but you keep leaving the stage.
And I said, but I decided like different, I, different data
(25:46):
points were added. And so the calculus has changed
and I, I'm a person with will free will.
Therefore, I can make the best decision for myself in this
moment. No, and that's what I learned.
I remember her name was Wispunar.
She looked at me and she was like, no, no, This is why you
keep not listening to me. She looked at me like I was
(26:11):
motherfucking crazy. This was the moment.
This was the moment I realized that I had to listen to
authority outside of my parents because my parents were paying
for me to be at the school. How are you the boss of me?
(26:37):
The long and short of it is, I find it very troubling that
Katie, at her age is lying like a teenager or a child.
But I recognize the panic in herface.
Oh, I'm cornered. I don't know what to do.
She has this SOS thing that's that's like a good cover.
But at the same time, had she actually wanted to show the
(26:59):
proof, she'd be like, all right,I guess I'll find some Wi-Fi,
let me walk around for a second and figure it out instead of
just planting her ass and me like this is my one option.
If I can't get service right here, right now, then what do
you want? Like it's unreasonable.
And the fact that she was like, I haven't even looked up the
(27:19):
message yet. Someone's calling you a liar.
The the older I get, the more I realize how important your word
is. Like your integrity is, like
this person is calling you a liar.
You have the chance to shut themdown, shove it down to their
(27:41):
throat and you're not going to take it.
Obviously you're lying, but thisis the path of least resistance.
If you want to just like evade immediate conflict but not
resolve it, it's going to continue to be awkward.
I don't like Katie. I haven't liked her since her
(28:01):
first season last season when she was like the golf expert.
And then she did that golf party, and she doesn't even know
how to golf in a way that isn't just, oh, I golf, but I'm like,
not good at it, but like, me golf.
And also like, she didn't know the, like, she didn't know
things. Like she said my life is golf.
I just thought of the option, like, her life could be this
(28:24):
thing that she's bad at. Yeah.
The whole episode was basically about Katie the Weasel.
And that's that for the Real Housewives of Orange County.
We got to talk about the Real Housewives of Miami.
OK, so I don't think I've ever said these words before, but
Larsa is correct about Marcus after hearing that text message,
after she read that aloud about I'm going to come for you, I'll
(28:46):
get you. I don't care about your family.
You'll never see me coming. Like someone who actively wants
to hurt her, who is a druggie. Not to sound like an old fucking
fogey, but he's like a little, he's a he's an addict.
We've seen the white moles. So he is unwell and high and
(29:09):
threatening Lisa's best friend of 15 years.
Do I? Do I think it's weird that Larsa
has any best friends of 15 yearsbut Lisa claims to be so Then
act like it. It would be absolutely best shit
crazy for you to risk making Larsa your friend uncomfortable
to for your boyfriend to maintain this very shallow
(29:32):
friendship with this guy that isUN fucking well.
So I gotta agree with Larsa first time for everything.
OK. Then there's Todd and Alexia,
which I find infuriating. She is such a baddie.
She's beautiful. He what is it?
(29:56):
What is this spell he has cast upon her because she's so much
as said I'm living in your fake apartment, your fake rented
apartment. I'm driving your fake rented
car. There's obviously some
implications that what we're seeing about their life and
lifestyle isn't real. And then what she said in like
(30:17):
the first episode where he told her, like, you're going to be
very appreciative that we're nottogether.
It's in your best interest. And this makes me feel like
there's some legal or financial aspect to this that I'm not
seeing. Why in God's name would you have
to disappear whilst this person is out of the house just because
(30:40):
you don't like what she does forwork and how you're depicted?
And I don't get it. Why would you have to move in
that way, especially you were with her for eight years in
front of her son. That shit is absolutely crazy.
And she is. She says the ball's in his court
because he wants to put the blame on me.
But I also think that she hopes that he's going to come to her
(31:03):
and be like, oh, I was overtakenby the devil.
I lost my mind. My my head was, I don't know
where and we should stay married.
I'm going to move my ship back in.
And she'd say OK. And it's he left in secret.
(31:26):
That is not the kind of relationship that can be
rebuilt, right? I've never seen a situation
where a man or a woman has had to hide their departure and they
were able to reconcile and have a decent relationship.
And I have known situations too,specifically where people have
disappeared on their partners and then tried to make it work.
(31:48):
They were both men too, of course.
And of course, we have to talk about Julia and Gertie.
What is going on with Julia? Why is Julia the center of the
universe? Does she need to be taken care
of? She is my least favorite kind of
(32:10):
person. She is actually the kind of
person that I despise. Someone who expects something of
you, period. I expect nothing from it ever.
I I take every interaction as like a blessing, a luxury.
(32:32):
She couldn't get on a fucking Skype call or a Zoom call to
find out that you're the sex of your kid.
What if she had just forgotten? What if she had just forgotten?
That's enough to end your relationship, especially after
she's followed up and she was like, I'm sorry, I didn't get on
the call. What's up?
And you're like, you can see it in the press, even with Julia
(32:54):
and Audriana. I fucking hate Audriana.
She's gross. She's she is a bad person.
She doesn't have morals. She makes no sense.
Everything comes from a place ofego.
But when she sat down with Julia, she was like Julia
immediately was like, I haven't heard from you.
You haven't called me. She was like, you haven't called
(33:15):
me either. And happy as in she didn't
imagine there was any kind of strife in their relationship
that like she was actually holding something against her
for not having reached out because Julia hadn't reached out
either. But she has this expectation of
people dropping things and beingthere from her for her and
(33:36):
centering her. And it's it's like obnoxious.
Everybody else has a lot going on in their lives as well.
Like even at Gertie acted like abitch or like I was extra that
night and wanted to be at a dinner where there was no head
count for her. Should you not just be grateful
(33:56):
that you had a friend stand in for your partner when you needed
her because you emotionally you weren't good enough?
Like to do it on your own? This person sacrificed this
cancer patient who is still dealing with the trauma of her
cancer. Why on God's earth would you
(34:19):
think that? Like, you could judge how she's
showing up for you, She showed up for you and for her to throw
the water in Gertie's face like she is disgusting.
She is a banshee, she is a hyena.
She is uncivilized. Oh God, and her opera is fucking
(34:39):
terrible. OK, people contain multitudes.
You can be a great parent and a bad friend.
It's not black and white. Like good for her for adopting
children and not even good for her for adopting children.
As if that's like some kind of like charity situation.
No, you're lucky enough to have your life blessed with a child
(35:00):
'cause you wanted it so badly. This child, all they did was be
born. So you have this big life change
happening and you expect everyone to drop everything and
center you. And if they don't, you are like
taking tally, you're like writing notes, you're keeping
tabs, you're keeping track. And if there's some shit I hate,
(35:24):
it's someone that keeps track. If I'm going to do something
nice for you, if I'm going to show up for you, if I'm going to
pay for something for you, a dinner or whatever, I shouldn't
ever bring it up again, OK? Ever.
Ever. There's nothing like grosser to
me than treating someone to something and then using it as
(35:46):
leverage and like expecting something else.
If I buy you lunch one day, I have no expectation that you
will buy the next lunch. But if you do, that's fine.
If not like I would, I would never hold that against you
because it was my choice to do that thing.
(36:08):
It's just it feels gross to me. I don't know, it really does.
I'm sorry. And then Martina just posted
like about surrogacy. Something like surrogacy is just
so wrong and I'm sorry. Anything that strips agency away
from people, especially women, really fucking pisses me off.
(36:28):
Oh, you're renting someone's womb?
Oh, you're taking advantage of the disadvantaged.
If the need for money, which we all have, every employer is
taking advantage of the disadvantage, all right.
And like many people use their bodies for work, all right?
(36:48):
Like being Beyoncé is a job. The wear and tear that shit
takes on her body. Being a gymnast, a professional
athlete, there are things that you do, that you're paid for,
that you know there's going to be a trade off with the impact
on your body. Why can't that be the same thing
for surrogacy? It is.
(37:10):
Frankly, it abso fucking lutely is.
Think of them as like Major League fucking athletes, OK?
Lots of wear and tear compensation, compensation shun.
It's as if you know you're plucking women off the streets
saying here's a fiver and maybe a fucking gift card to Dave and
(37:33):
Buster, Metro card and you're forcing her to have your baby.
That's literally not how it works.
It's not how it works. And I've seen some people say
it's just nature. Not everyone's meant to have
children. Go fuck yourself.
That's so easy to say. That's so easy to say.
Everybody is on their own damn journey, all right?
(37:54):
And that's saying gay men aren'tallowed to have biological
children. Are you comfortable saying
that's just not allowed? Are you?
I highly motherfucking doubt it,So please spare me.
So I've had enough of these two,Julia throwing water in the face
of a cancer patient Like this woman is still dealing with the
(38:18):
impact of all of the chemo and the surgeries and whatever.
You just threw water in her face.
Are you crazy? You are an animal.
You're a beast. You're not able to
contextualize, You're not able to triage, you're not able to
hold multiple things at the sametime.
(38:39):
I don't know. And it it it obviously doesn't
sit well with me that the first time she's re behaved in this
like diabolical way was to the one black woman on the cast.
It also lends itself to the whole, oh, Gertie was just there
to be my support. How dare she think that she can
be on the same level as me on this trip.
(39:01):
Are you kidding me? You should be like her, raising
her, thanking her for her being there, not like expecting her to
be your fucking lady and waitingor some shit.
OK, up next, we do have to talk about Love Island.
Oh man, what is there to say? Maya, Amaya and Brian, and I'll
(39:22):
say this a million fucking times.
As long as it was Amaya and Brian and Nick and Olandria in
the final, like I personally won, I would have been happy
with either of them. Obviously my soul, my heart was
with Nick and Oleandria, but Amaya also had my heart So what
the fuck am I to say about that?I truly think that her and Brian
(39:46):
have a connection and I really appreciate that she was told
that she was too much and peopledidn't understand her for the
majority of her time on the show.
And in the last few moments, like the last few breaths, she
was able to meet this man who actually saw her in like very
(40:07):
much. I don't know sees how special
that is because you're not goingto meet many Amayas, right?
Like you are just aren't there. There just aren't very many of
her and that kind of like remarkable, pure, sweet, like
loving, lovely, effervescent personality.
(40:27):
It's a. You don't come across it very
often. So when someone encounters that
and instead of being like, oh, you're too much, oh, this is a
lot. They're like, this feels like
home. That's your person.
And that's exactly what Brian was like.
That's clearly what Brian wanted.
(40:48):
And the fact that his parents love her for who she actually
is, as if she's even capable of being anything else.
To be quite honest, a deserving couple won.
Let's scroll back a bit and just, like, talk about the Final
Four. You guys are out of your
motherfucking minds. I don't understand how we got
(41:10):
here. And I guess by like you guys, I
also mean myself. Like the final four.
That was insane. Nick and Olandrea, Pepe and
Iris, she skate skate skated on by and so did Pepe.
And if you guessed that this is where I lost the audio again,
you would be absolutely correct.Go to my TikTok to see my
(41:32):
thoughts on the rest of the episode.
OK, so let's talk about Greg Abbott and Gavin Newsom in the
political chest that Democrats have suddenly decided they'd
like to take part in. We finally have a Democratic
governor saying whiny bitch. So here's what's happened.
So Texas Governor Greg Abbott calls a special session to push
(41:55):
for another round of redistricting.
No new census, no population shift.
Just like vibes. And like by vibes I mean raw
artisan. How were the state's already
heavily gerrymandered? Republicans control 64% of the
congressional delegation in a state where Trump only won by
like 52% of the vote. So not sure.
(42:19):
That sounds like democracy. Gerrymandering is a tool, voter
suppression is the strategy, andRepublicans are running the
longest of games. So let's break this down.
How do Republicans stay winning?Gerrymandering is not just about
like weird shaped districts. It's about like structurally
(42:39):
rigging the game before a singlevote is cast.
OK so here is the formula. Crack black and brown
communities across districts to dilute their power.
That is it. That is the formula.
Then you pack urban voters into as districts as fucking possible
(43:00):
and then you draw these white rural voters into the sprawling
mega districts that over represent their interests.
So then you layer that on with ID laws and closed polling
stations and voter roll purges and felony disenfranchisement
even though the president of theUnited States is a fucking
(43:22):
felon. Then you have the Republicans
campaigning process. The cornerstone is voter
suppression. It's not subtle, it's not new.
It's effective though, and this is how Republicans hold on to
power even when they're losing the popular vote in state after
state. They figured out that if you
(43:43):
can't win the voters, you can just chew them.
And Democrats, for years, they've chosen the moral high
ground. Or we've chosen the moral high
ground and acted like shocked when it didn't hold under the
GOP. Like fucking bulldozers.
They've treated gerrymandering like it's beneath them, like too
(44:05):
grass, it's too corrupt, it's too dirty to touch, even as
their opponents have been like wallowing in the mud for decades
and winning. But the tide that may be
turning. Enter Governor Gavin Newsom.
He made it very clear that if Republicans keep playing dirty,
California can play too. In specifically in response to
(44:28):
Abbott's special session, Newsomdropped a warning shot.
Keep going, keep going, and we'll redraw our own maps.
Not just protect blue seats, obliterate your red ones.
California currently uses this like nonpartisan redistricting
Commission, something Democrats proudly championed as we are the
(44:50):
models of fucking fairness. But here's the thing.
If fairness only works if everyone agrees to play fair.
So if one side is rewriting the rulebook every cycle in the
other is still acting like it's intramural debate club, that's
not noble. It's negligence.
So let me say this as clearly asI possibly can.
(45:14):
Democratic restraint. It's not ethical when it enables
mass disenfranchisement. It's not brave.
It's not principled, it's cowardice dressed up as virtue.
People are suffering right now because of these maps.
Medicaid didn't expand in dozensof states because of Republican
(45:34):
control sustained by these rigged districts.
Abortion bans passed in legislatures that don't
represent the will of their states.
Public education like labor rights, housing, access, all
gutted by lawmakers who would not have won in a fair fight.
So when Gavin Newsom says we canredraw too, he's not playing tit
(45:58):
for tat. He's saying I won't let you
hijack democracy while we hold the door open for you.
And to that I say fucking good. About damn time.
And there are implications, right?
Let's be clear. If Democratic governors in Big
Blue states start playing this game, like really playing this
(46:18):
game, it could actually shift the national balance.
Not just by winning more seats, but by forcing the issue, by
dragging gerrymandering into theopen and making it a real fight.
Because right now, Republicans know there are no consequences.
They can carve up the maps like fucking rotisserie chickens and
(46:40):
Democrats will still show up talking about bipartisanship.
But if Newsom goes through with this, if other Democratic
governors join him, now the costof Republican aggression, it
goes up. And suddenly redistricting isn't
a one way St. Suddenly there's a reason to
(47:01):
talk about actual reform. So it's not just because it's
right, right, but because it's in both party's interest.
And that's what we've been missing.
So I'm done with applauding Democrats for being polite while
democracy burns. The idea that we preserve some,
(47:21):
like, moral high ground while allowing Republicans to
disenfranchise millions while westay, like, cute and
cooperative. It's delusional and it's
dangerous. And you cannot claim to be the
party of the people while allowing the people's will to be
erased. So if Gavin Newsom is like,
(47:43):
finally ready to throw hands, I'm here for it.
So many of us are here for it. Let the GOP know you want to
redraw. So do we.
Let's make it hurt. And that's that one.
And that's been hot girl things.Because hot girls know that
democracy is not a spectator sport and we're not about to let
(48:06):
it go without a motherfucking fight.
So fight God damn it, fight. And that is our show.
Thank you so much for listening.I've had a wonderful time with
you guys, just like I do every week.
Please rate review and subscribe.
You heard my first one star review.
(48:26):
Please get in there and fight her.
Say I was going to say crazy shit, but you don't have to say
crazy shit. Just say I'm perfect, flawless,
wonderful Georgina and we never got back to the point because
this is where I lost.
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