March 14, 2025 • 23 mins
Anxiety about contestant numbers is a persistent yet unnecessary worry in pageantry. From my experience as both a contestant and a judge, I'm debunking the myths that keep competitors fixated on lineup placement instead of performance.
Your contestant number is beyond your control, and focusing on it only diverts energy from your preparation. Judges don't score based on order - we evaluate each contestant individually, remembering your energy, authenticity, and vision, not your number.
The myths don't hold up. First contestants aren't at a disadvantage, last contestants don’t have an edge, and middle contestants don't get overlooked. Success comes from mindset, confidence, preparation, and connection - not lineup placement.
I've been contestant number one at Miss America, and my struggles came from mindset, not order. The key? Focus on what you can control. When you shift from numbers to growth, your results will reflect your effort - not your position in line.
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
Websites: www.fearlesslyauthentic.com | www.sashandsoul.com
Email: info@fearlesslyauthenticcoach.com
If you’re looking for more than just surface-level prep—and you’re ready to prepare with strategy, support, and confidence that actually lasts—I’d love to be part of your process.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey you guys, welcome back to Sash and Soul, so
excited to have you back thisweek.
It is another beautiful weekoutside, at least from where I'm
sitting Blue skies, birdschirping, I don't know.
I just feel like I have thisnew energy right when it's like
spring is in the air, daylightsavings is over, the days are
getting longer and at the sametime, we're ramping up for
(00:24):
competition season, and you knowthat my clients have a lot of
orientations going on andfiguring out what their
contestant numbers are andsharing their headshots with
everyone in the world, and soit's just kind of like that fun,
like buzzy time of year.
And so, speaking of competitionpreparation, today I thought it
(00:45):
would be a good day to talkabout a topic that sparks a
whole lot of anxiety, which iscontestant numbers.
There is a ton of speculationabout whether your placement in
the competition lineup reallyaffects your chances of winning,
and I know that there are a lotout there that would probably
argue until they're blue in theface that it really does matter
(01:05):
that much.
But today I want to talk aboutwhy I don't believe that that's
true and give a differentperspective on it.
So, first of all, myperspective on contestant
numbers.
Number one contestant number iscompletely outside of your
control and if you're familiarwith the winning mindset as part
of Fearlessly Authentic,focusing on the things outside
(01:30):
of your control are going topull you away from what you're
there to be doing in the firstplace.
So your big picture, your why,your vision, your mission, your
purpose for being there, andit's going to lead you into
worrying about a lot of thingsthat don't actually matter in
the outcome.
So contestant number is one ofthose things that, because it's
outside of your control, it'sone of those areas, then, that
could potentially cause somemindset glitches and cause us to
(01:51):
kind of spiral into stress.
Number two the judges arefocused on what is in front of
them, and I can speak as aformer judge that when I am
judging a pageant competition,I'm looking at the girl right in
front of me.
I am already overwhelmed withthis big job that I have to do.
I have to look at all of thesedifferent aspects and I only
(02:14):
have a very, very, very shortperiod of time in which to make
a decision and put a number downon my score sheet, so I'm
focused on what's right there infront of me.
It doesn't matter if you werefirst, if you are 15th or if
you're last.
I am focused on the job.
Number three you can stand outanywhere.
(02:34):
You can stand out from anycontestant position, wherever
you are, and that all comes fromyour level of preparation, your
confidence, your authenticity,all of those things that are
actually going to put you aheadof the game.
So let's dive into this, though, because I know that, even
(02:55):
though I give you my perspective, and we're going to go through
these myths and try and bustthem for you, you are still
going to have your anxiety aboutthis because, let's face it,
it's just something that'sconstantly talked about every
single year, without fail.
We are talking about contestantnumbers, and a lot of that is
because you either pick atrandom when you're at
orientation, or it's picked foryou, or there's some kind of a
(03:17):
lottery, or there's you know youhave an opportunity to pick
sooner than other people becauseyou sold a certain number of
ads.
So there's all this bigpressure on figuring out where
you want to be in the lineupsomebody else based on their
talent or their skills, or wherethey've placed in the past,
(03:44):
like all of these things aregoing to start creating all this
noise in your head.
That will pull you away fromwhat actually matters.
So I really first just want toacknowledge that there are a ton
of emotions around contestantplacement.
So, whether that is going aheador going after someone who
you're intimidated by or has asimilar talent to yours, or if,
(04:06):
like, being first in aninterview, puts you in this
weird anxiety place of notknowing what to expect, or that
you're just afraid of gettinglost in the shuffle, I mean, all
of these are very valid, realanxieties and fears, but they're
also limiting beliefs, alsolimiting beliefs.
(04:27):
So what we need to shift intounderstanding is that
performance determines yoursuccess, and that is going to
come with a whole nother levelof anxieties, but at least you
have more control in that spaceand you have more control on
providing your clarity on yourmission and vision.
So let's dive into some ofthese myths that we need to
debunk.
Myth number one the firstcontestant never wins right.
(04:53):
Many of you believe that ifyou're the first contestant,
you're at a disadvantage becausejudges aren't quote unquote
warmed up yet.
However, you're not.
Judges in most cases areprepared and trained by a
judge's chair to score fairlythroughout the competition.
So what that means is we willsit through an orientation to go
over the rules and the jobexpectations of the title holder
(05:17):
and get trained on exactly howwe should be scoring
consistently from one contestantto the next.
And that is something that mostjudges go through so that they
feel as prepared as possible forthe competition and to do their
job well.
Next, in many cases the judgesare going to do a warm-up
interview with the outgoingtitle holder, so the first
(05:38):
contestant is not their firstinterview and therefore their
first impression is outstanding,no matter who the first
contestant is.
Because their first impressionis outstanding.
No matter who the firstcontestant is because their
first impression was from theoutgoing title holder that has
(05:58):
just spent an entire year doingthis job and probably prepped
for the added nerves or thepressure of doing the warmup
interview.
But the point is the judgeshave this opportunity to
actually practice askingquestions and get the feel for
each other in that room and geta flow down.
Next, judges are human beings.
(06:18):
I cannot instill this in you.
Enough.
Judges are human.
They are usually volunteeringtheir time.
They have a great respect forpageantry in the enough.
Judges are human.
They are usually volunteeringtheir time.
They have a great respect forpageantry in the industry.
They value the empowerment thatthe industry provides to you as
a contestant and they reallywant you to succeed Because,
(06:39):
honestly, like it'suncomfortable when we see
somebody else that'suncomfortable.
So when I say that judges arehuman beings, remember that they
have human feelings and humanexperiences, and so they're
looking at you in many ways witha lot of empathy and just
cheering you on from the inside,so they take their role
seriously.
So, in other words, assume thatthey have good intentions.
(07:02):
They're not there to trip youup.
They're not there to judgeunfairly or have their own
personal preferences thatthey're going to put over what
they were taught in the judge'sorientation.
There's so much more that goesinto this.
So assume good intentions fromevery person that's sitting in
front of you, asking youquestions in that interview room
(07:22):
or viewing you from off thestage.
If anything, being the firstcontestant is going to allow you
to set the standard and leave alasting impression.
So if you execute withconfidence and with presence,
you have nothing to worry about.
But the reality is every one ofyou should be executing with
(07:42):
confidence and presence, nomatter what contestant number,
you are All right.
So I actually have a reallygood lived experience example of
being contestant number one.
I was contestant number one whenI went to Miss America and
remember I was sitting duringthe lottery and I was second to
last to choose my contestantnumber and there were only two
(08:05):
numbers left.
There was contestant number oneand contestant number two, and
I opted to go for contestantnumber one for a couple of
reasons.
First, because I just figuredlike why not, that's a memorable
number.
Like I had all the myths in myhead as well, like somehow that
was going to help me stand out.
I also knew that Laura Keplerwas contestant number one when
(08:28):
she won Miss America in 2012,.
She also won talent ascontestant number one.
So it was kind of like I was inthis weird space of like busting
the own my own myth in my head,while also like just trying to
lean into it.
And so I was contestant numberone at Miss America.
But you guys, I was going inlike already anxiety filled
(08:51):
because you know, two years ago,miss Wisconsin had won Miss
America and that was still justkind of in my head because I was
her first runner up at MissWisconsin.
And so just like a whole messof limiting beliefs and mindset
glitches were going on and I hada really rough interview.
But it wasn't because I was thefirst contestant.
It was because I was so in myhead about being first and I
(09:11):
didn't do what I needed to do tobe warmed up.
So I have to take ownership ofthat.
It wasn't about the judgingpanel.
It wasn't about me beingcontested number one.
It was because I was strugglingwith my own mindset glitches
and that I didn't do the thingsthat I typically did to prepare
for my competition interview,namely being really warmed up
(09:33):
and getting out of my head.
All right.
Myth number two the lastcontestant has an unfair
advantage.
All right.
The idea here is that thejudges are going to remember the
last contestant more clearly,which gives the last contestant
an edge.
So recency bias does exist insome scenarios, but judges are
(09:54):
going to be taking notes andthey're going to be evaluating
contestants based on thecriteria they were given, not
just based on their memory.
So, in a similar way to thejudges not being warmed up at
the start of the day, judges canalso be wiped out at the end of
the day as well.
It is exhausting you guys, likeI know the energy that it takes
(10:15):
to put all of your heart andsoul out there for that.
You know.
Three, five, 10-minuteinterview, but imagine sitting
through multiple of thoseinterviews while having to be
really present by you know,having to analyze everyone in
front of you by having to listenvery clearly to understand
what's being said, to be able toalso ask follow-up questions
(10:38):
and new questions that arereally going to get at who this
person is and who they would beas the title holder.
Like that takes a lot of energy.
It's so fun, but it's a lot soby the end of the interviews you
might be exhausted as a judge,right?
So no matter where you stand inthe lineup, the judges are
(10:59):
going to be trying to be asconsistent as they possibly can
and your job is going to be thesame Walk into interview
exemplifying who you would be asthe title holder.
Focus on yourself, focus on thevalue that you bring to the
position, be warm and beinviting.
Have a genuine conversationwith the judges.
(11:20):
Be the person that comes in andrejuvenates them, because it is
a long day.
Go be in there, you know, asthe first contestant and get
them excited for the rest.
A long day.
Go be in there, you know, asthe first contestant, and get
them excited for the rest of theday.
Go in as the middle contestantand remind them how awesome this
whole experience is and getthem rejuvenated again, and then
be the last contestant and getthem so excited for the rest of
(11:41):
the show.
Your job in that interview roomis very much to do the job of a
title holder, which is to makepeople feel special and share
your heart and soul and make adifference.
It starts right there in thatinterview room.
It doesn't start when you getthe crown on your head.
That is a part of what it meansto be authentic and genuine and
(12:03):
exemplify who you are.
Who you are doesn't change whenyou get that crown on your head
.
Also, you could argue that thelast contestant faces the
challenge of being reallyimpressive, so that's just added
pressure.
It's better to show up and showout, no matter where you're at,
(12:23):
because you can't control whatthe other contestants think, do
or say.
You certainly cannot wish themaway and nor would you wish them
ill will.
So no matter where you are incomparison to any other
contestant, your job is the sameShow up and show out.
Focus on yourself.
(12:44):
It is the only thing that youcan do.
The third and final myth oftoday is that the middle
contestants get overlooked.
I know some of the anxiety hereis that if you're in the middle
you're going to blend in, but,as I've already clearly
established, it's not aboutwhere you fall in the lineup, it
is how you present yourself.
(13:04):
The judges aren't checkingcontestant numbers before
they're scoring.
That is absolutely true.
I mean, even as a judge, Ican't even keep track of how
many interviews I've done, muchless have time to figure out how
many more we have to do,because it's just back to back
to back and I have to stay ontop of it.
Judges are looking at poise,they're looking at confidence,
(13:25):
they're looking at poise,they're looking at confidence,
they're looking at communicationand they're looking at
authenticity.
So for me, every time a newcontestant walks into the
interview room or is introducedon stage, I am zeroed in on that
person.
I focus on the judging criteriathat I was instructed to focus
on.
I consider what the judge'schair or the director told us
that they need in a title holderbased on the job description.
(13:48):
I am analyzing the uniqueperformance right in front of me
and I look for confidence,authenticity and warmth.
I'm also looking to see if Ican picture that person doing
the job for 365 days.
Okay, that's me as a judge.
Everyone else has their owndifferent approach, but I can
(14:10):
assure you that it is allcentered in pure positive good
intentions.
As judges, we know that everysingle one of you is worthy.
We know you're valuable.
We know you're capable.
We know that you are unique.
But we have a job to do.
We have to find the one that wethink will best represent the
organization for an entire yearand is ready to potentially
(14:33):
compete at the next level.
So we're not overlooking anyone, no matter where they fall in
the lineup, but we are going toremember those that are standing
out because of their energy,their confidence and their
clarity in their unique visionand mission in their unique
(14:54):
vision and mission.
So what really matters?
You guys, instead of focusingon a number, focus on these key
factors confidence, authenticity, preparation and connection.
Judges are drawn to contestantswho own the stage and believe in
themselves.
This is not something that youcan fake.
You can't fake confidence.
I know that there's that oldsaying of like fake it till you
make it, and there's some truthin that, but genuine, real
(15:17):
confidence stems from youworking on your mindset,
understanding your sense of selfand owning everything that
makes you who you are.
You have to practice letting goof the fear of what other
people think to really get atthe core of what it feels like
to be confident.
As far as authenticity goes,you do not need to be the
(15:40):
perfect contestant, becausespoiler, it doesn't exist.
You have to be you.
Last week, I talked aboutworthiness and I talked about
what authenticity really is.
Authenticity is about yourexpression of who you are.
It's not about anyone else'sperception of who you are.
(16:00):
It's not about how othersreceive you, but about the fact
that you are showing up asyourself, unapologetically.
What is your pure and positiveintention?
Are you being honest withyourself?
Are you honoring your own truth?
Are you showing up in a waythat reflects who you really are
?
In order to answer thesequestions, you have to know who
(16:24):
you are.
That's why consistent andlong-term mindset work and
self-development are essential.
Let me repeat that Consistent,long-term mindset work and
self-development.
This is not something that youcan just cram for right before a
competition.
That is why mindset work is oneof the pillars of the work that
(16:45):
I do with my clients, becauseit is something that you have to
consistently work onPreparation work that I do with
my clients, because it issomething that you have to
consistently work on Preparation.
Often I'm hearing that there's,you know, this fear of not doing
enough Very, very real, veryvalid fear.
(17:06):
So if you are experiencing thatfear that you're not prepared
enough or not preparing enough,recognize where your prep is
lacking and get real about it.
Right, like, what is accuratehere?
Is it accurate that you're notspending enough time on it?
Is it accurate that you arespending the amount of time that
you have to spend on it becauseyou've got other things in life
going on?
Is it accurate that you'refocusing on the priorities in
(17:29):
your life right now and that'sokay?
And then also, is it accuratethat you can find ways that you
are preparing in unconventional,non-traditional ways for the
role of the title holder?
Next, get organized and make themost of the time that you are
allotting to prepare.
Life is happening.
We are all busy, highfunctioning and driven people
(17:53):
competing in pageants that'slike that's kind of what makes
us.
The epitome is because we areso driven and we are so focused
on our personal success and ourambitions and our drive to make
a difference and do all thethings.
So get organized while you'redoing all the things and make
the most of the time that youare preparing.
(18:13):
And if you are really stuck inbetween these things, where you,
like, don't know where yourprep is lacking, or if you're
struggling to get organized, orif you don't even know if you're
not preparing, maybe you arepreparing more than enough,
sometimes you need to get helpfrom someone from the outside
perspective, someone who's beenthere when you're feeling lost
(18:34):
or stuck.
Someone from that outsideperspective can help you see
that you are doing more thanenough.
In fact, maybe you're doing toomuch, or you're doing too much
in this area and not enough inthat area.
It's okay to have someone helpyou analyze that, usually
someone that isn't alsocompeting because they're in the
throes of it with you.
It's better to go to somebodythat has competed before and
(18:58):
understands what it's all aboutto get their take on your prep.
So, whether that's a director,a board member, a volunteer, a
former title holder that ismentoring you and helping you
out, or a coach, there are manydifferent resources to help you
figure out what your preparationis looking like and where it
needs to be.
Finally, whether it's aninterview or on stage,
(19:19):
connecting with the judges andthe audience is a game changer.
150%.
Open up, get out of your ownhead and be present.
When you do that, you can builda genuine relationship with the
judges by showing them who youare.
Do not tell them who you are.
I mean, there are ways that youwill tell them who you are, but
(19:39):
what is more powerful isshowing them in the way that you
show up, in your energy and thestories that you tell.
That's going to help them seeyour character and your
personality more so than tellingthem.
You could tell them that youare responsible.
You could tell them that you'rerespectful.
You could tell them that you'redriven.
Of course you can, but thejudges are going to remember how
(20:01):
you made them feel.
So if you can give them thatenergy through the stories that
you share and the examples thatyou share with them, that's
going to go so much further inbuilding that relationship and
letting them in to see exactlywho you are.
So finally, as we're wrappingall of this together, there are
many aspects of the winningmindset that we talk about in
(20:23):
Fearlessly Authentic, but somethat really bode into helping
you overcome this fear of, orthe myths and the limiting
beliefs around contestantnumbers is focusing on what you
can control, practicing somevisualization and accurate
affirmations, some supportiveself-talk, and distract yourself
.
So remember that the number isout of your hands, but your
(20:47):
preparation, your energy andyour confidence is within your
control.
So focus on that Visualizingyour success, practicing
affirmations that actually helpyou feel empowered and feel good
, and practicing that supportiveself-talk will help you stay
grounded and steer away fromthose limiting beliefs.
And when all else fails and Ido this a lot with myself
(21:08):
distract, distract, distract.
Throw on some loud music, pullout a coloring book and an audio
book, like anything that willget you out of your own thoughts
.
So we're wrapping up today.
Please remember we are neverguaranteed a crowning moment,
but that's nothing to do withyour contestant number.
(21:31):
At the end of the day, yourcontestant number is just
logistics.
What actually defines yoursuccess isn't where you are in
the lineup, it's how you show up.
These myths are nothing butlimiting beliefs.
So focus on what's accurate andwhen you show up and show out
prepared, confident andauthentic, the results will
(21:52):
reflect that.
With that, my friends, I willlet you go for now, take care of
yourselves, keep all theseconcepts in mind, work to let go
of those limiting beliefs.
Focus on what you can controland enjoy the journey.
Pageants are meant to be fun,so focus on all the reasons that
you got started in it in thefirst place, and I will talk to
(22:14):
you again next week.
Bye.
Hey you guys, welcome back to Sash and Soul, so
excited to have you back thisweek.
It is another beautiful weekoutside, at least from where I'm
sitting Blue skies, birdschirping, I don't know.
I just feel like I have thisnew energy right when it's like
spring is in the air, daylightsavings is over, the days are
getting longer and at the sametime, we're ramping up for
(00:24):
competition season, and you knowthat my clients have a lot of
orientations going on andfiguring out what their
contestant numbers are andsharing their headshots with
everyone in the world, and soit's just kind of like that fun,
like buzzy time of year.
And so, speaking of competitionpreparation, today I thought it
(00:45):
would be a good day to talkabout a topic that sparks a
whole lot of anxiety, which iscontestant numbers.
There is a ton of speculationabout whether your placement in
the competition lineup reallyaffects your chances of winning,
and I know that there are a lotout there that would probably
argue until they're blue in theface that it really does matter
(01:05):
that much.
But today I want to talk aboutwhy I don't believe that that's
true and give a differentperspective on it.
So, first of all, myperspective on contestant
numbers.
Number one contestant number iscompletely outside of your
control and if you're familiarwith the winning mindset as part
of Fearlessly Authentic,focusing on the things outside
(01:30):
of your control are going topull you away from what you're
there to be doing in the firstplace.
So your big picture, your why,your vision, your mission, your
purpose for being there, andit's going to lead you into
worrying about a lot of thingsthat don't actually matter in
the outcome.
So contestant number is one ofthose things that, because it's
outside of your control, it'sone of those areas, then, that
could potentially cause somemindset glitches and cause us to
(01:51):
kind of spiral into stress.
Number two the judges arefocused on what is in front of
them, and I can speak as aformer judge that when I am
judging a pageant competition,I'm looking at the girl right in
front of me.
I am already overwhelmed withthis big job that I have to do.
I have to look at all of thesedifferent aspects and I only
(02:14):
have a very, very, very shortperiod of time in which to make
a decision and put a number downon my score sheet, so I'm
focused on what's right there infront of me.
It doesn't matter if you werefirst, if you are 15th or if
you're last.
I am focused on the job.
Number three you can stand outanywhere.
(02:34):
You can stand out from anycontestant position, wherever
you are, and that all comes fromyour level of preparation, your
confidence, your authenticity,all of those things that are
actually going to put you aheadof the game.
So let's dive into this, though, because I know that, even
(02:55):
though I give you my perspective, and we're going to go through
these myths and try and bustthem for you, you are still
going to have your anxiety aboutthis because, let's face it,
it's just something that'sconstantly talked about every
single year, without fail.
We are talking about contestantnumbers, and a lot of that is
because you either pick atrandom when you're at
orientation, or it's picked foryou, or there's some kind of a
(03:17):
lottery, or there's you know youhave an opportunity to pick
sooner than other people becauseyou sold a certain number of
ads.
So there's all this bigpressure on figuring out where
you want to be in the lineupsomebody else based on their
talent or their skills, or wherethey've placed in the past,
(03:44):
like all of these things aregoing to start creating all this
noise in your head.
That will pull you away fromwhat actually matters.
So I really first just want toacknowledge that there are a ton
of emotions around contestantplacement.
So, whether that is going aheador going after someone who
you're intimidated by or has asimilar talent to yours, or if,
(04:06):
like, being first in aninterview, puts you in this
weird anxiety place of notknowing what to expect, or that
you're just afraid of gettinglost in the shuffle, I mean, all
of these are very valid, realanxieties and fears, but they're
also limiting beliefs, alsolimiting beliefs.
(04:27):
So what we need to shift intounderstanding is that
performance determines yoursuccess, and that is going to
come with a whole nother levelof anxieties, but at least you
have more control in that spaceand you have more control on
providing your clarity on yourmission and vision.
So let's dive into some ofthese myths that we need to
debunk.
Myth number one the firstcontestant never wins right.
(04:53):
Many of you believe that ifyou're the first contestant,
you're at a disadvantage becausejudges aren't quote unquote
warmed up yet.
However, you're not.
Judges in most cases areprepared and trained by a
judge's chair to score fairlythroughout the competition.
So what that means is we willsit through an orientation to go
over the rules and the jobexpectations of the title holder
(05:17):
and get trained on exactly howwe should be scoring
consistently from one contestantto the next.
And that is something that mostjudges go through so that they
feel as prepared as possible forthe competition and to do their
job well.
Next, in many cases the judgesare going to do a warm-up
interview with the outgoingtitle holder, so the first
(05:38):
contestant is not their firstinterview and therefore their
first impression is outstanding,no matter who the first
contestant is.
Because their first impressionis outstanding.
No matter who the firstcontestant is because their
first impression was from theoutgoing title holder that has
(05:58):
just spent an entire year doingthis job and probably prepped
for the added nerves or thepressure of doing the warmup
interview.
But the point is the judgeshave this opportunity to
actually practice askingquestions and get the feel for
each other in that room and geta flow down.
Next, judges are human beings.
(06:18):
I cannot instill this in you.
Enough.
Judges are human.
They are usually volunteeringtheir time.
They have a great respect forpageantry in the enough.
Judges are human.
They are usually volunteeringtheir time.
They have a great respect forpageantry in the industry.
They value the empowerment thatthe industry provides to you as
a contestant and they reallywant you to succeed Because,
(06:39):
honestly, like it'suncomfortable when we see
somebody else that'suncomfortable.
So when I say that judges arehuman beings, remember that they
have human feelings and humanexperiences, and so they're
looking at you in many ways witha lot of empathy and just
cheering you on from the inside,so they take their role
seriously.
So, in other words, assume thatthey have good intentions.
(07:02):
They're not there to trip youup.
They're not there to judgeunfairly or have their own
personal preferences thatthey're going to put over what
they were taught in the judge'sorientation.
There's so much more that goesinto this.
So assume good intentions fromevery person that's sitting in
front of you, asking youquestions in that interview room
(07:22):
or viewing you from off thestage.
If anything, being the firstcontestant is going to allow you
to set the standard and leave alasting impression.
So if you execute withconfidence and with presence,
you have nothing to worry about.
But the reality is every one ofyou should be executing with
(07:42):
confidence and presence, nomatter what contestant number,
you are All right.
So I actually have a reallygood lived experience example of
being contestant number one.
I was contestant number one whenI went to Miss America and
remember I was sitting duringthe lottery and I was second to
last to choose my contestantnumber and there were only two
(08:05):
numbers left.
There was contestant number oneand contestant number two, and
I opted to go for contestantnumber one for a couple of
reasons.
First, because I just figuredlike why not, that's a memorable
number.
Like I had all the myths in myhead as well, like somehow that
was going to help me stand out.
I also knew that Laura Keplerwas contestant number one when
(08:28):
she won Miss America in 2012,.
She also won talent ascontestant number one.
So it was kind of like I was inthis weird space of like busting
the own my own myth in my head,while also like just trying to
lean into it.
And so I was contestant numberone at Miss America.
But you guys, I was going inlike already anxiety filled
(08:51):
because you know, two years ago,miss Wisconsin had won Miss
America and that was still justkind of in my head because I was
her first runner up at MissWisconsin.
And so just like a whole messof limiting beliefs and mindset
glitches were going on and I hada really rough interview.
But it wasn't because I was thefirst contestant.
It was because I was so in myhead about being first and I
(09:11):
didn't do what I needed to do tobe warmed up.
So I have to take ownership ofthat.
It wasn't about the judgingpanel.
It wasn't about me beingcontested number one.
It was because I was strugglingwith my own mindset glitches
and that I didn't do the thingsthat I typically did to prepare
for my competition interview,namely being really warmed up
(09:33):
and getting out of my head.
All right.
Myth number two the lastcontestant has an unfair
advantage.
All right.
The idea here is that thejudges are going to remember the
last contestant more clearly,which gives the last contestant
an edge.
So recency bias does exist insome scenarios, but judges are
(09:54):
going to be taking notes andthey're going to be evaluating
contestants based on thecriteria they were given, not
just based on their memory.
So, in a similar way to thejudges not being warmed up at
the start of the day, judges canalso be wiped out at the end of
the day as well.
It is exhausting you guys, likeI know the energy that it takes
(10:15):
to put all of your heart andsoul out there for that.
You know.
Three, five, 10-minuteinterview, but imagine sitting
through multiple of thoseinterviews while having to be
really present by you know,having to analyze everyone in
front of you by having to listenvery clearly to understand
what's being said, to be able toalso ask follow-up questions
(10:38):
and new questions that arereally going to get at who this
person is and who they would beas the title holder.
Like that takes a lot of energy.
It's so fun, but it's a lot soby the end of the interviews you
might be exhausted as a judge,right?
So no matter where you stand inthe lineup, the judges are
(10:59):
going to be trying to be asconsistent as they possibly can
and your job is going to be thesame Walk into interview
exemplifying who you would be asthe title holder.
Focus on yourself, focus on thevalue that you bring to the
position, be warm and beinviting.
Have a genuine conversationwith the judges.
(11:20):
Be the person that comes in andrejuvenates them, because it is
a long day.
Go be in there, you know, asthe first contestant and get
them excited for the rest.
A long day.
Go be in there, you know, asthe first contestant, and get
them excited for the rest of theday.
Go in as the middle contestantand remind them how awesome this
whole experience is and getthem rejuvenated again, and then
be the last contestant and getthem so excited for the rest of
(11:41):
the show.
Your job in that interview roomis very much to do the job of a
title holder, which is to makepeople feel special and share
your heart and soul and make adifference.
It starts right there in thatinterview room.
It doesn't start when you getthe crown on your head.
That is a part of what it meansto be authentic and genuine and
(12:03):
exemplify who you are.
Who you are doesn't change whenyou get that crown on your head
.
Also, you could argue that thelast contestant faces the
challenge of being reallyimpressive, so that's just added
pressure.
It's better to show up and showout, no matter where you're at,
(12:23):
because you can't control whatthe other contestants think, do
or say.
You certainly cannot wish themaway and nor would you wish them
ill will.
So no matter where you are incomparison to any other
contestant, your job is the sameShow up and show out.
Focus on yourself.
(12:44):
It is the only thing that youcan do.
The third and final myth oftoday is that the middle
contestants get overlooked.
I know some of the anxiety hereis that if you're in the middle
you're going to blend in, but,as I've already clearly
established, it's not aboutwhere you fall in the lineup, it
is how you present yourself.
(13:04):
The judges aren't checkingcontestant numbers before
they're scoring.
That is absolutely true.
I mean, even as a judge, Ican't even keep track of how
many interviews I've done, muchless have time to figure out how
many more we have to do,because it's just back to back
to back and I have to stay ontop of it.
Judges are looking at poise,they're looking at confidence,
(13:25):
they're looking at poise,they're looking at confidence,
they're looking at communicationand they're looking at
authenticity.
So for me, every time a newcontestant walks into the
interview room or is introducedon stage, I am zeroed in on that
person.
I focus on the judging criteriathat I was instructed to focus
on.
I consider what the judge'schair or the director told us
that they need in a title holderbased on the job description.
(13:48):
I am analyzing the uniqueperformance right in front of me
and I look for confidence,authenticity and warmth.
I'm also looking to see if Ican picture that person doing
the job for 365 days.
Okay, that's me as a judge.
Everyone else has their owndifferent approach, but I can
(14:10):
assure you that it is allcentered in pure positive good
intentions.
As judges, we know that everysingle one of you is worthy.
We know you're valuable.
We know you're capable.
We know that you are unique.
But we have a job to do.
We have to find the one that wethink will best represent the
organization for an entire yearand is ready to potentially
(14:33):
compete at the next level.
So we're not overlooking anyone, no matter where they fall in
the lineup, but we are going toremember those that are standing
out because of their energy,their confidence and their
clarity in their unique visionand mission in their unique
(14:54):
vision and mission.
So what really matters?
You guys, instead of focusingon a number, focus on these key
factors confidence, authenticity, preparation and connection.
Judges are drawn to contestantswho own the stage and believe in
themselves.
This is not something that youcan fake.
You can't fake confidence.
I know that there's that oldsaying of like fake it till you
make it, and there's some truthin that, but genuine, real
(15:17):
confidence stems from youworking on your mindset,
understanding your sense of selfand owning everything that
makes you who you are.
You have to practice letting goof the fear of what other
people think to really get atthe core of what it feels like
to be confident.
As far as authenticity goes,you do not need to be the
(15:40):
perfect contestant, becausespoiler, it doesn't exist.
You have to be you.
Last week, I talked aboutworthiness and I talked about
what authenticity really is.
Authenticity is about yourexpression of who you are.
It's not about anyone else'sperception of who you are.
(16:00):
It's not about how othersreceive you, but about the fact
that you are showing up asyourself, unapologetically.
What is your pure and positiveintention?
Are you being honest withyourself?
Are you honoring your own truth?
Are you showing up in a waythat reflects who you really are
?
In order to answer thesequestions, you have to know who
(16:24):
you are.
That's why consistent andlong-term mindset work and
self-development are essential.
Let me repeat that Consistent,long-term mindset work and
self-development.
This is not something that youcan just cram for right before a
competition.
That is why mindset work is oneof the pillars of the work that
(16:45):
I do with my clients, becauseit is something that you have to
consistently work onPreparation work that I do with
my clients, because it issomething that you have to
consistently work on Preparation.
Often I'm hearing that there's,you know, this fear of not doing
enough Very, very real, veryvalid fear.
(17:06):
So if you are experiencing thatfear that you're not prepared
enough or not preparing enough,recognize where your prep is
lacking and get real about it.
Right, like, what is accuratehere?
Is it accurate that you're notspending enough time on it?
Is it accurate that you arespending the amount of time that
you have to spend on it becauseyou've got other things in life
going on?
Is it accurate that you'refocusing on the priorities in
(17:29):
your life right now and that'sokay?
And then also, is it accuratethat you can find ways that you
are preparing in unconventional,non-traditional ways for the
role of the title holder?
Next, get organized and make themost of the time that you are
allotting to prepare.
Life is happening.
We are all busy, highfunctioning and driven people
(17:53):
competing in pageants that'slike that's kind of what makes
us.
The epitome is because we areso driven and we are so focused
on our personal success and ourambitions and our drive to make
a difference and do all thethings.
So get organized while you'redoing all the things and make
the most of the time that youare preparing.
(18:13):
And if you are really stuck inbetween these things, where you,
like, don't know where yourprep is lacking, or if you're
struggling to get organized, orif you don't even know if you're
not preparing, maybe you arepreparing more than enough,
sometimes you need to get helpfrom someone from the outside
perspective, someone who's beenthere when you're feeling lost
(18:34):
or stuck.
Someone from that outsideperspective can help you see
that you are doing more thanenough.
In fact, maybe you're doing toomuch, or you're doing too much
in this area and not enough inthat area.
It's okay to have someone helpyou analyze that, usually
someone that isn't alsocompeting because they're in the
throes of it with you.
It's better to go to somebodythat has competed before and
(18:58):
understands what it's all aboutto get their take on your prep.
So, whether that's a director,a board member, a volunteer, a
former title holder that ismentoring you and helping you
out, or a coach, there are manydifferent resources to help you
figure out what your preparationis looking like and where it
needs to be.
Finally, whether it's aninterview or on stage,
(19:19):
connecting with the judges andthe audience is a game changer.
150%.
Open up, get out of your ownhead and be present.
When you do that, you can builda genuine relationship with the
judges by showing them who youare.
Do not tell them who you are.
I mean, there are ways that youwill tell them who you are, but
(19:39):
what is more powerful isshowing them in the way that you
show up, in your energy and thestories that you tell.
That's going to help them seeyour character and your
personality more so than tellingthem.
You could tell them that youare responsible.
You could tell them that you'rerespectful.
You could tell them that you'redriven.
Of course you can, but thejudges are going to remember how
(20:01):
you made them feel.
So if you can give them thatenergy through the stories that
you share and the examples thatyou share with them, that's
going to go so much further inbuilding that relationship and
letting them in to see exactlywho you are.
So finally, as we're wrappingall of this together, there are
many aspects of the winningmindset that we talk about in
(20:23):
Fearlessly Authentic, but somethat really bode into helping
you overcome this fear of, orthe myths and the limiting
beliefs around contestantnumbers is focusing on what you
can control, practicing somevisualization and accurate
affirmations, some supportiveself-talk, and distract yourself
.
So remember that the number isout of your hands, but your
(20:47):
preparation, your energy andyour confidence is within your
control.
So focus on that Visualizingyour success, practicing
affirmations that actually helpyou feel empowered and feel good
, and practicing that supportiveself-talk will help you stay
grounded and steer away fromthose limiting beliefs.
And when all else fails and Ido this a lot with myself
(21:08):
distract, distract, distract.
Throw on some loud music, pullout a coloring book and an audio
book, like anything that willget you out of your own thoughts
.
So we're wrapping up today.
Please remember we are neverguaranteed a crowning moment,
but that's nothing to do withyour contestant number.
(21:31):
At the end of the day, yourcontestant number is just
logistics.
What actually defines yoursuccess isn't where you are in
the lineup, it's how you show up.
These myths are nothing butlimiting beliefs.
So focus on what's accurate andwhen you show up and show out
prepared, confident andauthentic, the results will
(21:52):
reflect that.
With that, my friends, I willlet you go for now, take care of
yourselves, keep all theseconcepts in mind, work to let go
of those limiting beliefs.
Focus on what you can controland enjoy the journey.
Pageants are meant to be fun,so focus on all the reasons that
you got started in it in thefirst place, and I will talk to
(22:14):
you again next week.
Bye.
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