May 1, 2025 • 62 mins
What really happens after the crown goes on and the cameras stop? In this brand new series, Crowned & Candid, I’m sitting down with Kaylee Wolfensberger, Miss Montana 2024, to talk about the realities of state titleholder life; the stuff most people don’t see.
Kaylee is only 20 and went into Miss Montana just planning to get some experience. She wasn’t expecting to win, and that pressure-free mindset? It allowed her to show up fully as herself… and walk away with the crown. But with that win came a crash course in doing it all—often alone.
Unlike titleholders from bigger states with teams and budgets, Kaylee handles everything on her own. She’s scheduling appearances, driving hours across rural Montana, managing her initiative, creating content, going to college full-time, and working a job to fund her Miss America prep. It’s a lot. The mental load is heavy, the learning curve is steep, and the growth? Whew. It’s real.
She’s also super honest about what didn’t go as planned—like her piano performance at Miss America. But instead of letting that define her, she found new perspective and turned her focus to growing the Miss Montana program for the next generation.
Kaylee’s initiative, Healing Harmonies, brings music education to underserved kids—work that’s personal to her because music was her safe space during a difficult time. Some of the kids she visits will only meet one person in a crown all year… and that person is her.
This conversation is raw, real, and full of wisdom for anyone curious about what it actually takes to wear the crown. If you’re a titleholder, a pageant hopeful, or just someone who appreciates honest leadership stories—you’ll want to tune in.
Subscribe now for more behind-the-scenes stories from the women who lived it, right here on Sash & Soul.
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
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If you’re looking for more than just surface-level prep—and you’re ready to prepare with strategy, support, and confidence that actually lasts—I’d love to be part of your process.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Raeanna Johnson (00:00):
Hello everyone, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
I feel like I say this everytime, but you guys, I'm so
excited.
I'm so excited because we havea brand new series that we are
officially launching.
This is the debut episode ofthe Crowned and Candid series
(00:24):
about pulling back the curtainon the state title holder
experience to offer somethingthat we rarely get in pageantry,
which is real talk from realwomen in the role right now.
So we're going to have candidconversations with current title
holders and so we can give youthe most honest, unfiltered look
at what it really means to wearthe crown not just the stage
photos and the social mediahighlights, but the behind the
scenes work, the emotionalgrowth, the leadership
(00:46):
challenges and, of course, allof the unexpected lessons that
are going to come with the job.
So this series of Crowned andCandid is all about education
and preparation.
As a coach, I work with womenall the time that are looking to
aspire to be the state ornational title holder, and so we
get a lot of ideas in our headof what that actually looks like
, and perfectionism seems tocreep in and we put the title
(01:09):
holder up on a pedestal likeit's something impossible to
achieve, and so I want to pullback the curtains on that so
that you can see this isattainable, this is realistic,
and it's a matter of workingreally hard to hone in on your
skills so that when you get thejob, if you are blessed with the
job, you can do the best atthat job but not perfectly,
because none of us are.
(01:30):
So we're going to dive into thattoday with our very first
crowned and candid guest.
This is Miss Montana 2024,kaylee Wolfensberger, and she.
I ask each of my guests reallywhat they want the audience to
hear from them, and so, justbefore I give her the mic here,
(01:50):
here's what she said.
She wants to make sure all ofyou understand that being a
title holder is so much morethan putting on a dress and
walking across the stage.
It takes strength, it takesresilience and it takes
dedication.
So I'm really excited to hearKaylee's story today and to
bring that to light for all ofyou as well.
Kaylee, hi, welcome.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (02:09):
Hi, thank you for having me.
I'm so excited, I'm so gladyou're here.
Raeanna Johnson (02:13):
Can you tell us just a little bit about
yourself outside of pageantry?
Give us a little bit of arundown of who you are, how you
got to be where you are today.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (02:31):
Yeah, well , my name is Kaylee
Wolfensberger.
I'm Miss Montana 2024.
I am currently attendingcollege at Montana State
University, where I'm studyingbusiness marketing and getting a
minor in small business andentrepreneurship, and I really
want to work in the professionalsports industry hopefully the
NFL, maybe focusing on athleterepresentation or promotion or
leaning more into the communityrelations side.
I've had experience in boththis year and I really like both
(02:52):
, so I'm really excited to stepinto that and, after I give up
my crown, to focus on graduatingcollege and stepping into that.
I'm 20 years old.
I grew up a competitive dancerand playing the piano, so I was
always looking for ways to kindof showcase my talents and
that's kind of why I steppedinto pageantry.
I also grew up watching my momvolunteer in the Miss America
(03:16):
system, helping at the local andstate levels, and I never
foresaw myself being a statetitle holder and going to Miss
America.
I competed once when I wasyoung and it was not great and I
kind of gave up on that idea.
And then this year was my firsttime competing in Miss and what
sparked it is I just alwayswanted to do something bigger
(03:39):
than myself and I think thatpageantry is a great way for you
to get your foot in the door inprofessional and personal
relations and aspects.
So that's kind of what sparkedit for me.
Raeanna Johnson (03:51):
Yeah, I love that sentiment, that idea of
like being part of something somuch bigger than yourself,
because I'm sure we'll talkabout it today, but like a
common theme lately for me inconversations with my clients
has been like this isn't aboutyou, this is about the bigger
picture, this is about theservice that you're providing
and what you can bring to thetable to influence something on
(04:15):
a greater scale, on a greaterlevel.
So I love that sentiment.
I definitely lived by that whenI was competing too.
So, okay, let's rewind tocrowning night, miss Montana
2024.
What was going through yourmind that night?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (04:30):
I did not think I was going to win.
I think a lot of people saythat, but I genuinely did not
think I was going to win.
I signed up to compete in mystate pageant because we don't
do locals here in Montana twomonths before state happened and
I had a lot of self-doubt andthinking that I was too young to
be competitive in the Misscategory.
(04:51):
But I truly believe the bestway to get better at something
is to just do it.
So why not compete and getbetter and hopefully work up to
having the state title, was mythought.
Um, so before crowning I waswriting my thank you cards to my
director saying thanks so much,I'm excited to come back next
year.
Fully did not expect it.
And then, when they werehanding out awards, I had won
(05:14):
two of their preliminary awardsand I was like, oh wait, ok,
maybe I did a little better thanI thought.
Maybe I'm going to actuallyplace, do a little better, and
then it just kept taking down.
Maybe I'm going to actuallyplace, do a little better.
And then it just kept takingdown.
And I knew that I had to place,so I knew that there was a
possibility.
So my mind was going crazyduring the crowning moment.
But afterwards I just lookedfor my mom in the crowd, because
(05:38):
this is kind of something thatwe've always done together and
it was just crazy to have wonthe state title and get to like,
have that moment with my momthat we were going to Miss
America.
Raeanna Johnson (05:50):
So yeah, isn't that the craziest realization.
After the crown and sash areplaced on your head, like that
moment, you're like, oh man, thenext step is Miss America.
This is crazy.
So, in hindsight, what do youthink that like?
How do you think that thatinfluenced your performance at
competition?
This idea that, like you, weregoing to do it for the practice
(06:12):
and come back the next year with, you know, intentions of, of
really going for the crown.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (06:17):
I still wanted to portray the best
version of myself on stage, so Istill worked really hard.
Because you don't compete,because you don't want to win,
you know you want to stage.
So I still worked really hard.
Because you don't compete,because you don't want to win,
you know you want to win.
So I competed like I wanted towin, but I didn't have fear of
not winning and feelingdisappointed with myself,
because I knew that I had eightmore years to compete if I
(06:40):
wanted to.
And this was all about buildingmyself into a better person.
And actually that night Ididn't do super well with my
onstage question and my talentwas subpar in my opinion.
And so when we did evening outand fitness, I just like, just
have fun, like this is the mostfun part of competition.
(07:00):
You know, I just get to bemyself and bring the energy.
And those were the twopreliminaries that I ended up
winning, because I had taken thefear out of it at that point
and just told myself to make themost of the experience.
Raeanna Johnson (07:16):
So yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, I love that.
So, um, what was your interviewlike at State?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (07:27):
I love interview.
Interview is my favoriteportion of competition and I
feel really confident in currentevents and talking about my
community service initiative,talking about myself, just
everything in general.
So I thought that my interviewwent really well.
This was probably the mostpolitical interview that I had
ever had, but I'm someone whothinks I do well with political
(07:49):
questions, so I walked out ofthe interview room pretty proud
of myself and feeling prettyconfident.
The only question that I waslike oh my goodness, I bombed
that is they asked me to tellthem a joke, and I'm not like I
have a joke in my pocket kind ofgirl.
I consider myself pretty witty,like can think on the fly, like
that, but I did not have a jokein my pocket.
(08:12):
So that was the only thing thatI think I was really
disappointed about in my stateinterview.
Raeanna Johnson (08:18):
Well, it obviously didn't matter.
I mean, the judges look at theentirety of their experience
with you in that interview room,not just one question, and so
you must have handled yourselfreally well, even if you felt
like you didn't have the answerfor the question, because,
honestly, that's what counts.
They're not going to rememberspecifically what you say.
They're going to remember howyou made them feel and what the
(08:39):
energy was like in that room andhow you handled yourself.
So it obviously worked thatroom and how you handled
yourself, so it obviously worked.
Okay, there is so much growthin your year as a state title
holder, as a title holder in anycapacity, at any level.
So can you describe who youwere at the start of your year
and how would you describe whoyou are now?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (09:01):
Oh, this is a loaded question for sure.
Um, I've actually been talkingto a lot of girls recently and
this has come up a little bit isthey're like you're just so
confident and so extroverted.
I just don't feel like I'm thattype of girl.
I don't think I could evercompete in pageantry.
And with every girl that hassaid that, I say I'm a very
(09:22):
confident version of myself now.
But this is not who I was ayear ago when I won Miss Montana
, a little less than a year ago.
I think that I've had so muchgrowth in myself.
I am more confident than everon my opinions and what I want
to do after I graduate college,who I want to be and my values.
(09:43):
And I think that when I wasgoing into Miss Montana, I was
really nervous.
I thought I was really young,not experienced enough, didn't
have enough education under mybelt, didn't have enough
community service under my belt,and I just had a lot of
self-doubt.
And by the time I went to MissAmerica, I knew that I was
portraying the best version ofmyself I possibly could in that
(10:04):
moment.
And that's what I've tried todo even after Miss America is
display the best version ofmyself in every appearance, in
every service activity, inanything I do as Kaylee and
anything I do as Miss Montana.
So I think the biggest thing isthat I've grown in my
confidence in myself think thebiggest thing is that I've grown
(10:27):
in my confidence in myself.
Raeanna Johnson (10:28):
How would you describe showing up as at your
best?
Because I think we hear that alot.
Right, like I'm just going toshow up as myself.
I'm going to show up as thebest version of myself, but what
does that look like for you?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (10:38):
Yeah, I think that it's really rooted in
being confident in what you'rebringing to the table, which can
be really hard in pageantry.
It's really hard to go downthat rabbit hole of comparison
to the other delegates withinthe system.
And at Miss America I reallyhad to focus on what I was
(11:01):
bringing to the table, what Icould do as Miss America, what I
was doing as Miss Montana, notwhat so-and-so was doing in any
portion of competition.
So when I think about being mybest self and what that meant
for me is, I knew that I hadpracticed my piano piece as much
as I could to perform fortalent.
(11:23):
I knew that I had done as manymock interviews as possible to
be solid in what I was going tosay in that interview room and I
just had to keep going back to.
You know you're prepared forwhat you bring to the table.
Don't compare yourself tosomeone else in this competition
and try to be above or at thesame level as them.
Raeanna Johnson (11:48):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Okay, let's going back to thestart of your year again.
What did you think the job ofMiss Montana would look like and
what was different once you gotinto it?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (11:58):
Oh, my goodness, all the things that I
thought would be part of MissMontana are definitely there,
but there's things that youdon't realize are there and I
think that Montana and severalstates over in the Midwest
pageantry is much different overhere than it is in other states
and I was prepared for that,but I don't think I was prepared
(12:21):
enough.
So you hear a lot about you,have a lot of sponsors, a lot of
financial help, a lot of peoplein your corner, but in a rural
state where there's not a bigpopulation, it's actually really
hard to get sponsors, it'sreally hard to get financial
help, and I don't know if I wasnecessarily prepared for how
(12:44):
much work it was going to be onmy own.
And I don't think that'severyone's experience because
not all states are the same.
But I think that there'sdefinitely a misconception with
smaller states that we have thesame amount of support that
other states do.
Raeanna Johnson (13:01):
So have you found any tactics that have
worked and what hasn't worked?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (13:06):
when it comes to finding that support, I
think that people, especiallyin Montana, value someone who's
authentic and real.
They don't want a pageant body.
They don't want you to put onthis glamorous face outfit and
portray a different version ofyourself.
What I have found is mosteffective is being the true
(13:28):
Montana girl that I am andconnecting people.
Connecting with people on thatlevel, because that's what they
want to see.
They want to see that I'm just.
I'm just one of them, I'm justdoing something big.
That's been the biggest thingto help me connect with people
and create those relationships.
Raeanna Johnson (13:46):
Yeah, and I think the thing we all need to
remember about authenticity andtruly being ourselves is that it
just comes down to letting goof what we think other people
think of us or what we thinkother people are looking for in
us.
I was talking to someone theother day about value and how we
(14:08):
kind of determine what value webring to the table based off of
what we're passionate about,what we're skilled at, where our
intellect lies, where ourtalents lie, and I think so
often in pageantry we get caughtup in worrying about whether or
not the judges are going to seethose things as valuable, and
that carries over into being thetitle holder as well that we
(14:29):
get concerned that the peoplethat were around with the crown
and sash on are going to havesome expectation of us.
But as soon as we can drop ourconcerns about what other people
may or may not expect of us,that's when the shield comes
down and we just get to beourselves.
Would you say that that was alot of your experience too?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (14:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
Again, you struggle so hard asa title holder with comparison
and I compared myself to formerMiss Montanas.
I compared myself to othertitle holders and it's just
self-destructive and it wasn'tgetting me any farther.
So it's so important to just becandid and be yourself, and
(15:11):
that's what's going to make yourconnections.
Raeanna Johnson (15:14):
So scary to be candid though?
Why do you think it's so scaryfor us to be candid sometimes?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (15:19):
I think pageantry has a really long
history of portraying a veryglamorous, has a really long
history of portraying a veryglamorous, glamorous and
polished person.
Oh, my goodness, glamorous andpolished person.
And I just don't think that'sthe case.
We are regular people at theend of the day.
I'm a student going to school,I have a job and I miss Montana.
(15:40):
But I think that that stigmacomes from a really long line of
perfect women in the media, andnot that you're not perfect.
That's where we're gettingthings mixed up, and I think
it's so hard to be candid inpageantry because you think that
(16:02):
people want a perfect, polishedversion of yourself and that's
just not the case.
They want to see an authenticgirl.
They want to see the girl nextdoor.
I think of Abby Stockard orMiss America.
Right now, she is the sweetesthuman and I think that comes
across and I think that's whyshe won is because she shows
(16:22):
that authenticity and she showsthat she's just America's girl.
Raeanna Johnson (16:28):
I don't think authenticity is something you
even have to try to do.
It's something that you areable to just uncover when you
let go of these otherexpectations and theories about
what perfect looks like or whatother people are looking for
100%.
Was there a moment early on inyour year that it hit you that
(16:50):
this was real life for you for365 days?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (16:57):
Maybe yes and no.
I think that I did a prettygood job at balancing my life
enough.
But when I was preparing forMiss America, obviously I
sacrificed a lot.
I sacrificed time with friends,I sacrificed a social life,
lots of different things, andthere would be nights where I
(17:18):
would come home from a day ofappearances and then I had to go
to school and then go to workand then come home and go to the
gym and then go to work andthen come home and go to the gym
and practice piano and I wouldjust lay in bed, exhausted
because I want to do so well asMiss Montana.
But at the end of the day, I'malso a human, I'm tired and I
(17:39):
think those nights I was like,oh my gosh, like this is life
and you're, you're exhausted,but it's also you're so happy
because you're like this is sucha full day.
But I think that preparing forMiss America, there were lots of
times that I was like, oh mygosh, this is going to be a busy
year.
Raeanna Johnson (17:56):
Yeah, Would you ?
Would you do anythingdifferently?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (18:02):
I think that I would have asked for help
more.
I think that a lot of women inpageantry are really focused on
being a very strong andconfident woman and I think
sometimes it's hard to bevulnerable when you're
struggling being a title holder,especially a state title holder
, because you don't want peopleto think you're not grateful.
(18:24):
You don't want people to thinkyou're not grateful, you don't
want people to think that you'renot worthy of the title and
asking for help kind of feelslike a cop out.
And I think that I struggledwith that mindset a lot leading
up to Miss America.
I wish that I had just told,like my board, my mom, my
friends, a little more, I justneed help with this.
Like, please help me with this,this and this, and I think that
(18:48):
I would have felt a lot better.
Raeanna Johnson (18:50):
Would you mind sharing, like, if you can think
of any of the specific thingsthat you wish you would have
asked for help for, because Ihave a very similar experience
when I was going to Miss America, for, like, as you're talking,
I'm like nodding my headvigorously, like verbatim, like,
yes, that was me thinking thatI needed to have it all together
, at least from the outside,looking in, and so you know,
(19:12):
I've done some reflection on,like, what did I actually need
help with that people could havehelped me with?
And do you have an idea for youof, like, looking back, what
those specific areas would be?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (19:22):
One that's kind of specific to where I
live.
The region of where I live inMontana is everything is like an
hour and a half apart.
Every city that I would driveto is an hour and a half apart
and we don't have travelcompanions.
So I just always was reallyexhausted driving myself.
I was really exhausted tryingto ask strangers like hey, can
(19:44):
you take this picture, just soyou would have something to post
on social media.
And I think that people don'trealize that that is exhausting
to try and think of how you'regoing to get somewhere by
yourself and then how you'regoing to make sure you get
content to post in an era wherethat's so important and there's
no one to do it for you.
(20:06):
And I wish that I would havejust been more open with my
friends, like, can you pleasecome with me to this event and
just take pictures for me?
I think that that would havetaken a huge off my shoulders
because I think that it causedme a lot of stress to do
everything on my own.
A little more targeted to kindof pageantry.
(20:27):
In general, I was exhaustedlooking for outfits for Miss
America.
I wish that I had just askedfor more help in that area.
I've been like can you pleasefind me a tea party dress?
You look at so many things andeventually it's so exhausting,
so I wish that I would have justasked for people help to pick
(20:49):
out my wardrobe.
Raeanna Johnson (20:51):
So what I'm hearing from you is just the
mental load and I think that's adifficult area to ask for help
in, because how is somebodygoing to help you unload that
mental weight that you carry ofall the responsibilities and the
managing your time and thelogistics of getting to where
(21:12):
you need to be and doing whatyou need to do when you're there
and purchasing all the outfitsthat you need and staying on top
of it?
That's a really difficult thingto navigate, like, how do you
ask for help in those areas?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (21:25):
You know what I?
Mean yeah it's tough, for sure.
Raeanna Johnson (21:29):
Yeah, and it's.
That's one of the things Ithink that you just don't think
about, like how would youmentally prepare for that type
of an experience?
But it does exist and I so Ithink the message that you know
everyone could take away fromthat is understand that that's
normal and that so many womenexperience that on their way to
(21:49):
any level of competition, butespecially going to Miss America
, and this year for the newstate title holders that are
going to be going to MissAmerica in like two to three
months after they're crowned,understand that what you're
going through is normal and sotry to normalize and validate
what you're experiencing and,yeah, do find ways to try and
(22:10):
ask for help in those spaces Forsure.
So how did preparing for MissAmerica differ from your prep
for Miss Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (22:20):
When I was preparing for Miss Montana.
Obviously, like I said before,I wasn't necessarily expecting
to win, but I was trying toportray the best version of
myself in those moments.
So I was working hard when Icompeted for state but kind of
my thought was, oh, next yearI'll just do a better piano
(22:41):
piece, or next year I'll pickout a better dress.
Not that it not that what Ibrought to the stage was subpar,
like not worthy of a stagetalent or worthy of a stage
dress.
But I just had that idea of, oh, I'll just do better next year.
Well, obviously that thatwasn't the case and I was like,
(23:01):
okay, well, we have to do betterfor Miss America now.
So the prep picked up quite abit.
I chose a much more difficultsong to play at Miss America.
So my talent prep was insane.
I was practicing anywhere froman hour to two hours a day on my
piano piece and then doing mockinterviews whenever.
(23:24):
I could and on top of it all ofthis, I was going to school and
working a job, because in theMontana organization we don't
have the funding to pay meenough to not have a job, so I
had to work so I could go toMiss America.
Granted, I had a lot of helpfrom my parents and I'm forever
grateful for that, but I had topick up some of the slack, and
(23:49):
that's not the case witheveryone, so that was a
completely different experienceagainst from state as well.
But I think the biggest thingthat was different is I knew
that this was my once in alifetime chance.
You only get to compete at MissAmerica once.
So I was giving everything Ihad to my prep because, even if
(24:12):
I didn't win, I didn't want tofeel like I lacked in any area
of competition what were thebiggest, what was, what was or
what were the biggest lessons orunexpected challenges that you
encountered competing for MissAmerica?
Oh, um, not necessarily thatthis was at Miss.
(24:35):
America.
But I was really encouraged notto play a specific piano piece
that I really wanted to playMiss America.
I was told that it was too slow, too boring and I was highly
advised against it.
And I picked a song that I knewwas going to challenge me a lot
(24:58):
.
Technically I play Great Ballsof Fire.
It's very fast, it's veryupbeat and I play piano for 12
years and I've never been supergreat at upbeat piano pieces.
But against my better judgment,I chose to play that song and I
wish that I wouldn't have.
I wish that I would have stuckto what I knew and unfortunately
(25:19):
, at Miss America the nerves gotthe better of me and I think
that my lack of confidence in mypiano skills got the better of
me and I messed up my talent atMiss America and like that was
just heart wrenching to practicethat for so many hours and not
(25:40):
perform the way I wanted toperform and not perform the way
I wanted to perform.
So I think that that was a hugemishap on my part at Miss
America and something I was notexpecting to happen.
Raeanna Johnson (25:55):
I had a similar experience, not that someone
told me to do somethingdifferent, but I did not have a
good interview at Miss America,and so that that feeling of like
this is your one and onlychance, and then it's done and
it just wasn't what you hadimagined it to be and wanted it
to be, is really heartbreaking.
So how did you handle theemotional, like letdown or
(26:22):
aftermath after coming home fromMiss America?
Now that it's like done?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (26:30):
When people bring it up it definitely
still hurts in the heart alittle bit, but something really
cool that happened.
That, I think, helps me feel alittle better about this
situation.
So Nikki Sixx he's part of theband Motley Crue was at Miss
America.
His wife is Courtney Sixx.
She does the flowers for MissAmerica she's Bouquet Box, a
(26:52):
sponsor that they have and Iactually ended up running into
her at the expo and I had mysash on and she was like oh my
gosh, like I loved your talent.
And I was like oh my gosh, likeI loved your talent.
And I was like oh, like I justwas really disappointed in
myself.
I don't think that I played howI wanted to play.
I messed up pretty bad and shewas like but me and my husband
(27:15):
were so impressed, you picked itright back up and that's like a
great attribute of a truemusician.
I and I was like okay, well,you know what, If one of the
greatest musicians of all timethinks that I picked up and
showed somewhat of a truemusician, then okay, I'll take
it, Because it was a huge messup for me.
(27:38):
And at first I was like okay,well, I just messed up one of
the biggest songs in rock androll in front of music legend
Nikki Sixx.
But I'll take it.
And they also.
They loved my outfit and myhair.
I've gotten so many complimentsfrom tons of different people
about my outfit and my hair fortalent, so you know there's
little things that I was like.
(27:59):
Okay, like you know what, maybeI messed up the song, I would
have liked to play the songbetter, but at least people love
something about it.
So that's kind of just theattitude I have to have.
You can't dwell on it.
You can't sit here and pickyourself apart for not
performing the way you wanted toperform, Because, let's
(28:19):
remember, like you just went toMiss America, you got that far.
Be proud of getting that far.
Raeanna Johnson (28:26):
That's really hard, though that was really
hard for me.
After coming back from MissAmerica, too, was it very much
like I felt this I don't know,you know expectation that I was
just supposed to be grateful andhappy that I was there, but I
was also grieving.
I was also like it was a verypush and pull, and so I think
(28:46):
for you and for anyone thatmight be experiencing that
similar like that letdown orthat hang of of you know
heartache when someone brings itup, when this is a goal that
you worked so hard for and nowyou'll never be able to go after
it again, I think what I havelearned in the last decade it's
(29:06):
been a decade since I competedis that you get to live in the
and you get to be very proud ofgetting there and being there
and the honor that that is andmaking history, and you get to
grieve the loss of this dreamthat you'll never get to go
after again.
I think that's really important, but I really appreciate you
sharing that, because I thinkthat that's something that we
(29:29):
from the outside really don'tsee.
You come back from Miss America.
You pick up where you left offas a state title holder.
You keep doing appearances.
We see all your stuff on socialmedia media and we just don't
always think about like, unlessyou've been there, you don't
necessarily think about kind ofthe roller coaster of processing
that happens after you get backfrom that once in a lifetime
(29:51):
experience.
So I really appreciate youbeing candid about that.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (29:55):
Yeah, and it's really hard, like you said,
for people from the outside tosee that and to see the pure
exhaustion that you feel afteryou get home from Miss America,
like, yes, it's a crazy week,but you just worked for months
for this.
And I think that I definitelyhad comments.
People were like, well, you'renot really doing appearances and
you've been back for a week.
Granted, yes, like I should bedoing appearances, but let's
(30:20):
remember, like I've been workingso hard for this moment I have,
like you said, time to grievethe fact that it didn't work out
the way I wanted to and like,let me rest for a minute, let me
decompress, because that's hugeand and I also don't want to go
out and do appearances when I'mnot ready to do it.
I'm not going to go portraymyself in a way that's not who I
(30:44):
am, this exhausted, beat downperson of myself.
Raeanna Johnson (30:48):
So so you took some time to rest, just a beat.
How was it getting back outthere then after that?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (30:57):
Oh, it was hard.
I think that for probably thefirst month I really struggled
with okay, well, kind of what amI supposed to do?
I'm still just tried to jumpback in, but I think that I
(31:25):
needed to maybe reevaluate mygoals after nationals was done
and I think that girls also havea hard time doing that after
state is done reevaluating whatyou want the rest of your year
to look like.
So I think that I struggledthere quite a bit.
Raeanna Johnson (31:42):
Yeah, we talk about in preparation.
I don't know if you did much ofthis before Miss Montana, but,
like for me, when I waspreparing, and what I work with
my clients on too, was like whatis, what's your game plan,
what's your 30, 60, 90?
What you know, what are yourquarterly goals for your year?
And really ironing that out,because once you get back from
(32:02):
Miss America, it's like allright, the world is your oyster,
so to speak, the year is youroyster.
What are you going to do withit?
And having some level of ideas,some kind of a plan, but also,
after processing and all of thatand figuring out, how will I
make the most out of this?
(32:23):
Last?
For you, six months, I believe,right, about six months after
Miss America, and for me it wasnine months because I competed
in September and now the nextclass will also be competing in
September and they'll have ninemonths left.
So I think that preparationtime and the mindset building up
to Miss America is incrediblyimportant, because that's such a
huge highlight of your year.
(32:43):
But then planning for the restof that and the whirlwind of OK,
where do I, where do I go fromhere, what do I do next?
So, so what, what, what do youfeel like you have really
accomplished since, since comingback from Miss America?
What are you really proud offor your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (33:00):
I'm really proud of the image I portrayed
for Montana at Miss America.
I've had a lot of complimentsand comments of how well I
represented our state and that'shuge for me, because we're a
small state, we're a strugglingpageant state, it's hard to
(33:21):
recruit girls, but we have had ahuge jump in numbers this year
and I do believe that a lot ofthat has come from my presence
on social media, specificallyduring Miss America Week,
highlighting what a wonderfulexperience this is and getting
girls engaged that way and thenalso making those one-on-one
(33:42):
connections with girls.
I think it's been reallyvaluable and I'm really proud of
myself for that.
Raeanna Johnson (33:48):
Yeah, that is really great.
What do you think has keptgirls from competing in Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (33:52):
I just don't think that we have had
enough face time.
Necessarily.
I don't think that peoplereally know what pageantry is.
So that's why I think it was soimportant for me to be on
social media so heavily thisyear because we're in a digital
age.
It's how people get a lot oftheir information.
So I was portraying not only atrue Montana girl, but also Miss
(34:17):
Montana, miss American howamazing this experience can be,
and I think that that's whatreally stood out.
Raeanna Johnson (34:24):
Yeah, Okay.
So since we're kind of divinginto the business side and the
work of the title holder, howinvolved were you in like the
professional aspects of yourrole, like the booking and the
booking fees or the appearancefees or scheduling, like all the
things?
Like how involved were you inall of that?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (34:50):
I did it all myself.
I think that, again, this issomething that comes from being
from a smaller pageant state.
We don't have a booking agent,we don't have a travel companion
, we have a very small board andunfortunately, during my year,
my board went through a lot ofchanges.
We have a new executivedirector as of recently, so I
was dealing with a board thatwas trying to change and revamp
(35:12):
all while I was trying to beMiss Montana and I booked every
appearance myself.
I don't get paid for myappearances.
I don't get paid for myappearances.
I we just don't live in a statewhere people really put a value
on spending money for MissMontana to be there.
Some people do.
(35:32):
I'll say that I've been paidfor one appearance and they
reached out to me and then Ihave also been reached out to
again and they're paying for mytravel expenses.
So those are the only twoappearances that I have had any
compensation for, and I don'tthink people understand that's
(35:54):
how our smaller states work.
So I was heavily involved inthe business side of being Miss
Montana.
But, yes, it was hard.
But I also am really gratefulbecause I'm a business student
and I want to work in business.
So I think this has been a hugeeye-opener because I handled
the marketing side of myself,the booking side, some of the
financial side, and I did have aboard who helped me fill out my
(36:18):
paperwork and get my copyrightand that sort of situation.
But when it came down to justbeing Miss Montana, I did it all
myself.
Raeanna Johnson (36:29):
How did you look for appearances and go
about booking yourself for thoseappearances to stay busy?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (36:34):
This has been a really hard part of my
year is getting the confidenceto send people a message asking
if you can be at their event andthat's been so hard for me
because it's like, can I, can Icome to this event, Can I come
be present for this?
And you just you feel awkwardasking and it's really hard, but
(36:56):
if I want the program to grow Ihad to do it.
So that was hard to navigateand I really tried to put more
of an emphasis on service.
So I wasn't just saying, hey,can I come attend this event for
free, I was saying, hey, can Icome help out at this event.
So most of the events I've doneI'm doing some form of service.
(37:17):
I'm not just like there for theface value, I'm like helping
set up, helping take down,working with kids, something
along those lines.
Raeanna Johnson (37:29):
Providing more value to the event itself, which
, yeah, is definitely powerfuland, I think, a lot of people.
It depends on the state, ofcourse, as you're mentioning,
like each state kind of has adifferent unique culture to
things, but I think were yousurprised at how many people
were like, oh my gosh, we'd loveto have you as Miss Montana?
Did that help boost yourconfidence at all?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (37:51):
Yeah, when people asked like for me to
come to things or mentioned mecoming to things, I was like oh
my gosh, yes, I would love to dothat, Like thank you for asking
me and not making me ask you.
So I think that definitelyboosted my confidence and also
just helped me feel a littlemore confident when I did have
to ask to be at things, becausewhen I went to those events that
(38:13):
I asked I would make thoseconnections and have people ask
me.
Raeanna Johnson (38:16):
So how did you get past feelings of it being
like personal, that they didn'twant you there, if you were ever
denied?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (38:27):
honestly I can't honestly say that I am
over it sometimes when peopleare like oh no, like we're fine,
like it is kind of like hurtful.
They're not meaning to behurtful, but they just don't
like.
It's kind of not that kind ofevent or whatever it is.
So you know I wouldn't say thatI'm over it.
Raeanna Johnson (38:47):
That's fair and so honest and real.
I appreciate that so much.
So were you given any kind ofunexpected business
responsibilities, like, did youexpect all of that?
Did you get any unexpectedresponsibilities that you kind
of had to learn as you went?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (39:05):
I didn't expect to be booking so many
appearances on my own, and Ithink that is what contributed
heavily to my exhaustion that wetalked about earlier leading up
to Miss America, because I wasbooking my own appearances,
going to them by myself and thendoing everything else on top of
it.
So I think that contributed alot to my exhaustion.
Raeanna Johnson (39:31):
Were you expected to book this many
appearances, or was thissomething that you wanted to do?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (39:36):
No, I have an appearance requirement in my
contract that I had to meet, sowhen I signed my contract, I
was expecting a little bit morehelp to meet that expectation.
So that was definitely hard.
But, like I said earlier, wewent through a lot of changes
this year and so I can'tcompletely blame it on one
(39:58):
person or anything like that.
But I just hope that for thenext title holder.
No-transcript.
Raeanna Johnson (40:11):
Can you share at all as much as you're
comfortable about how youhandled any kind of
miscommunication or conflictresolution with the board of
directors as all these changeswere going on?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (40:22):
I was really lucky to have some very
awesome people in my corner, andone of those was my mom, and
when things went wrong, I calledmy mom a lot and she was really
someone who helped talk me downwhen I was upset and helped me
lay out a plan of how toapproach things differently.
I'm also someone that reallybelieves in having honest
(40:45):
communication, so I don't wantit sugarcoated.
I don't sugarcoat things when Ihave a problem and I think that
when I talked to my board, I wasvery honest.
I said I need more help withthis or I would like to see this
, and I just was upfront and Ithink that's the best way to
handle it is doing so with graceand doing so with honesty.
Raeanna Johnson (41:08):
Let's segue into your community service
initiative.
I'm excited to hear more aboutit.
So can you tell us about whatyour community Service
Initiative and like how it evenevolved throughout your reign,
if at all?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (41:21):
Yeah, so my Community Service Initiative
is called Healing Harmonies andit's about providing underfunded
youth with access to musiceducation.
And it stems from my personalexperience of using music to
cope with a very traumatic eventthat I dealt with at a young
age, and music is what broughtme out of my funk.
(41:43):
I struggled really hard withfeeling emotions after this
event and when I sat at thepiano that's when things started
to click for me and heal for meand I just knew that was so
important.
So it kind of stems from thatstory, but also in connection
with children living inimpoverished communities.
Children living in poverty arenine times more likely to
experience trauma than theirwealthier peers.
(42:03):
So I knew that there was a needfor assistance in that area,
especially in my own community,Bozeman.
Montana has a poverty rate of14.7%, which is higher than the
state and the national rate.
So I knew when I developed mycommunity service initiative
that I wanted it to be veryforward and really something
(42:26):
that I could take initiative on.
So that's why I ended upsegueing into providing music
for underfunded youth, becausethat's what healed me when I
dealt with a traumaticexperience.
So it's very personal to me andI'm just really grateful that
I've had the opportunity tocommunicate that with the
(42:48):
Montana community nationally.
But I think that throughout myyear when I developed this, when
I was a local title holder,it's obviously come a very long
way and I think that I focused alot on instilling a love for
music with children.
This year was provide moreaccess to that music education,
(43:18):
which kind of stems more frombeing in contact with adults and
the funding side of things.
So it's definitely evolved inthat way.
I still work with kids veryoften.
I love to do my musicactivities with kids, but I also
had to tap more into dealingwith like schools and things
like that and trying to getadults to understand the
(43:40):
importance of funding our musiceducation system.
Raeanna Johnson (43:44):
How much of your time as Miss Montana, in
terms of appearances and thework that you were doing behind
the scenes, was dedicated toyour CSI versus general
appearances?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (44:00):
I would say that it was heavily towards
my CSI.
So I actually worked reallyhard to do to develop a
partnership with Head Start,which is a government
organization and it'sessentially about preparing kids
for success in school andspecifically for people and
families who are living belowthe poverty line.
So I spent a lot of my yearestablishing that partnership
(44:22):
and then fulfilling thatpartnership, visiting Head
Starts across Montana and alsojust schools in general.
Montana is a very rural state.
We have a lot of underfundedcommunities so I was really
trying to tap into thosecommunities and provide them
with that access to musiceducation, instilling that love
(44:46):
for music in children.
I wouldn't trade any of mycommunity service appearance
initiatives for something moreglamorous, like speaking at a
gala or anything like that.
Obviously I love thoseappearances, but I'm someone who
really feels like the crown andmy mission is rooted in service
above all things Service style,scholarship and success I love
(45:10):
them all but I am the mostattached to the service point of
the crown.
So it's just been reallyawesome to be able to be in
those communities and servethose communities, especially
when these are people who don'tget to see Miss Montana a lot.
They're not people who havequote.
Unquote quote important peoplecome into their town, so it's a
(45:31):
really big deal for them to seeMiss Montana.
And I think that when I go tothese communities sometimes and
I think this is really commonfor all title holders you're
just excited to be there andyou're doing your job, but you
forget that this might be theonly interaction these kids have
with a title holder.
(45:51):
So for you, yes, you're justmeeting with a classroom, but
there's a little girl in therewho's going to remember the day
she met Miss Montana forever andI just have loved that.
I've gotten to expand mycommunity service initiative
throughout the state.
Raeanna Johnson (46:07):
Can you think of one particular, especially
meaningful experience that youhad?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (46:12):
meaningful experience that you had.
Yeah, I was talking to a schoolone day, a group of students,
and there was a kid who was justnot paying attention.
He dealt with kind of alearning disorder.
He didn't want really anythingto do with me and I was really
struggling.
This was one of my firstappearances.
(46:33):
I was like what am I doingwrong?
Why am I not connecting withthis child?
What can I do better?
And then I just continued towork and do my thing and, like I
said, I focus a lot on themusic.
So when I started playing musicand doing the activity, I
watched this student's demeanorsoften, which was really special
(46:55):
.
And then I watched him kind ofcalm down and tap into what I
was saying a little bit more andI just felt a lot more
confident.
And then when I got up to leaveI was telling everyone goodbye.
He caught me at the door and hehanded me a paper and he had
drawn a picture of me.
So maybe in that moment Ididn't feel like I was
(47:16):
connecting with this student.
I didn't feel like I was doingsomething right.
But at the end of the day Ileft an impact and I think
that's just super special.
Raeanna Johnson (47:26):
Those behind the scenes moments that we'll
never be able to see, becauseyou can't portray that on social
media.
It's something that you have toexperience for yourself on the
other side of it.
Was there a failure that youfelt or a setback during your
year that ended up being aturning point for you?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (47:46):
um, like I said, when I failed at my piano
piece, that was kind of like areally big setback, especially
at Miss America.
I had to really revamp myselfvery quickly because I had to
compete, you know, in two daysafter that.
Um, but I think that anotherfailure that really did cheer,
(48:07):
as I was trying really hard tobuild up our scholarship fund
and actually get theuniversities, the two state
universities- in our state togive a scholarship to whoever
won Miss Montana, and I put alot of time and effort into this
.
I mean I had laid it all out,printed out documents.
I felt like I was veryorganized.
I made meetings with people, Imet with them in person.
(48:30):
I felt like I really portrayedan honest version of myself in
the program and one of theuniversities turned it down and
I was so disappointed.
That day I had a really hardtime just feeling motivated to
do anything because I reallywanted this to work out for the
next title holder, so that feltlike a really big setback for me
(48:53):
.
Raeanna Johnson (48:54):
But I just had to remind myself that there's so
much more I can do and I neededto look for scholarship in
other ways, and that's what I'vebeen doing in like pageantry,
(49:16):
is like I think we put so muchpressure and like getting all
these things done during thatyear of service, but there's so
much you can do afterwards aswell, and in many ways more,
because you won't have all theobligations and expectations of
having that crown and sash on atthe same time.
There's so many ways that youcan contribute long-term that
you started the foundation, youlaid the groundwork for what
(49:37):
could be a really significantscholarship opportunity in the
future, and so that isn'tnecessarily a failure, like it
was just a not now, but maybenot never.
Yeah, absolutely.
What personal strengths did youdiscover or develop that you
didn't realize that you hadbefore, during this year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (49:57):
I have learned that I am very mentally
tough and I'm very proud of that.
I had a lot of changesthroughout my year, like we've
talked about earlier, and therewere times that I was really
disappointed that this washappening during my year, was
(50:19):
happening during my year,because you want this so bad.
You get one shot at it and tohave this dream that you've had
set in your heart not work outthe way you thought it was going
to is really hard.
But I have learned to not onlybe more mentally tough, but that
I am really strong in thosesituations and I I'm very
composed and I know that thishas set me up for success in the
(50:41):
future.
But I think that it wassomething that I had to learn
quickly, but I'm very gratefulto have that skill now.
Yeah.
Raeanna Johnson (50:52):
What do you hope people remember most about
your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (50:57):
I hope that when people think about me
being Miss Montana, they seesomeone that propelled the
program forward and dideverything they could to do so.
I don't ever want people tothink about me being selfish or
that I took the year to justbrag about myself.
I hope that people see the workthat I put in to build our
(51:20):
program because, yes, I wantedto be the Miss Montana that
became Miss America but itdidn't happen and you have to
re-route your plan and decidehow you're going to make an
impact differently, and I hopethat people remember that.
(51:45):
I grew the numbers of girls whosigned up.
I tried to grow our scholarshipfoundation.
I brought a new era ofpageantry to the Miss Montana
pageant.
Raeanna Johnson (51:51):
What have you learned that you know now that
you wish you had known at thestart of your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (51:57):
This experience is 100% about you.
Don't let other people changethe experience for you if that's
not how you want your year tobe.
I think that in pageantry, it'sreally easy to conform to what
other people want you to be, andI think it's great that you're
doing this podcast series toshow that people are living
(52:21):
completely different lives thanyou think they're living.
And if you're a local titleholder, a state title holder, a
national title holder, whateverit is, being yourself and giving
this experience what you thinkit deserves and being the title
holder that you want to be is ofthe utmost importance.
Don't conform to someone else'sview of what they want you to
(52:45):
be.
I think that's something that Ireally hope girls see and that
we move more towards in thefuture of pageantry.
Raeanna Johnson (52:54):
Has your personal definition of success
changed because of thisexperience?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (52:59):
Absolutely .
I think that when I started Idefinitely thought that if I
didn't place at Miss Americathat I would have been a failure
.
Hard with my board, I know thatthey really wanted me to place.
They were like you're going tobe our Miss Montana that gets in
the top 10.
Like we just know it, we canfeel it, and I felt so much
(53:20):
pressure, like it was endearingfor them to say that, but it
also was so much pressure andwhen I didn't do that I had a
really hard time recovering fromthat experience.
But I just think it's soimportant to remember that you
have other goals with with whatyou're doing.
Raeanna Johnson (53:40):
Yeah, all right .
So your year of service isalmost behind you.
When do you give up the crown?
June 21st.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (53:48):
Very soon.
Raeanna Johnson (53:50):
Yes.
How are you approaching yourlife now that, now that this
year is coming to an end?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (53:58):
To be completely honest, I'm really
struggling with the life afterthe crown situation.
I'm not really surrounded by aton of pageantry friends and
family.
I'm kind of one of the firstpeople to really step into that.
So I think I'm going to have ahard time expressing that
(54:20):
feeling of loss after I give upmy title.
So I'm kind of already tryingto prepare for that situation.
But I know that there's so muchmore ahead for me.
This opportunity has allowed meto put my foot in the door in
so many areas and put my name inthe mouths of really important
people, and I'm really excitedto graduate college and I'm
(54:43):
really excited to start workingin professional sports and I
think that being Miss Montanahas given me that opportunity.
I've had the opportunity tospeak with the Seattle Seahawks
and the San Francisco Giants,among many other teams.
I'm just really excited that.
You know this opportunity hasgiven me more opportunities and
I need I need to see it that wayand not see it as I'm closing
(55:07):
the door on something.
I'm just starting a new chapter.
Raeanna Johnson (55:12):
Very bittersweet, sometimes feeling
more bitter than sweet,especially for you, when you
thought that you would have manymore years to be competing in
this organization.
But, I mean, after just thisbrief time getting to know you,
I'm so thrilled for you.
The best is yet to come.
(55:33):
You have gained so much fromthis experience.
It's so evident and you'vecontributed so much through your
year that is evident as wellthat wherever you go next is
going to be extraordinary.
Try not to compare yourself towhat your sisters in your class
of Miss America are doing.
I struggled with that a lot.
(55:54):
I think that's going to be mymessage to each and every one of
you that I sit down with onCrowned and Candid, because that
was difficult.
It's still the highlight reelthat we see on social media, but
we had our 10-year reunion,class reunion, in September and
it was so, oh, just invigoratingto talk to some of my sisters
(56:17):
in my class and find out thatthey were struggling in such a
similar way to me in thattransition of you know post
title holder here.
So it's very real and we allexperience it.
But you know there's so muchmore to come for you and I'm so
excited to see that happen foryou.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (56:37):
Thank you.
Raeanna Johnson (56:38):
So what advice would you give to the next Miss
Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (56:44):
Number one ask for help when you need it.
It's going to.
No one's going to judge you forasking for help, but also I
think this is going to be manygirls.
Advice for the next titleholder is to soak it all in.
It goes so fast and I wish thatI had just taken the time to
sit in those moments and reallysoak it all in when I was doing
(57:07):
service or giving a speech orbeing on stage.
I wish that I had justcherished that time a little bit
more.
Raeanna Johnson (57:15):
And what advice would you give her about
preserving her own well-being?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (57:20):
Your well-being is above anything
else in this situation.
You have to remember that ifyou're not at your best, you're
not portraying the best versionof Miss Montana you could, or
whatever your title is, so it'sso important that you put your
needs at the forefront in thissituation.
It's not selfish to make surethat you're in a good place.
Raeanna Johnson (57:44):
And if she ever doubts herself, what words
would you want her to hear fromyou?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (57:51):
You know, I think that I would say that
self-doubt is normal and it'sokay to feel those feelings, but
remember that you did somethingthat the judges saw of value
and they knew that you couldrepresent our state and that I
know that you can do it too.
Raeanna Johnson (58:08):
When you think back on the season of your life
five to 10 years from now, whatdo you think that you're going
to remember the most?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (58:14):
I think that I'm going to remember that
I was 20 years old and I didsome pretty amazing things.
I'm the youngest member of theMiss Montana class and I think
that I want to remember that Iwas 20 years old and really cool
and I hope that my kids thinkthat I'm really cool and whoever
looks at me, they're going tothink, wow, she did some pretty
(58:37):
amazing things.
Raeanna Johnson (58:38):
One final word from you, my dear.
What is your message to theSash and Soul community today?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (58:43):
I think that it's important to remember
that if you don't walk away withthat crown, it is not a measure
of your worth.
Having a crown does not makeyou any more worthy of love and
respect and of compassion andrecognition.
At the end of the day, it'sjust a crown.
It is not putting any morevalue on the person that you are
(59:07):
.
So don't let the loss of atitle affect you in that way,
because you're worthy and lovedand you're doing amazing things.
You know one woman gets to wearthe crown, but you know God
saves the rest of us from it.
It's something that we say herein Montana, because it's an
amazing opportunity, but it'salso a tough situation to be in.
(59:32):
So look at it from a differentpoint of view.
A tough situation to be in.
So look at it from a differentpoint of view.
Raeanna Johnson (59:37):
I love that.
I have never heard that beforeand I'm going to remember that.
So powerful, oh my gosh.
Kaylee Wolfensberger, MissMontana, 2024.
Thank you so much for sharingyour candid thoughts, your
experience, your passion with us, your insights.
This was a really beautifulconversation and I really
appreciate your time and thelove that you poured into
(01:00:00):
everything that you said.
So thank you so much, Wishingyou the very best and the rest
of your year just the next eightweeks maybe.
I think it's like two months.
It's wrapping up quickly.
Soak it all in, like you said,and be proud of yourself.
You certainly represented welland I'm glad to have met you and
(01:00:22):
had you on.
So thank you again.
Yeah, absolutely All right, Sashand Soul.
I will be back again very soonwith another episode in this
series of Crowned and Candid,and I will talk with you then.
Bye.
Hello everyone, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
I feel like I say this everytime, but you guys, I'm so
excited.
I'm so excited because we havea brand new series that we are
officially launching.
This is the debut episode ofthe Crowned and Candid series
(00:24):
about pulling back the curtainon the state title holder
experience to offer somethingthat we rarely get in pageantry,
which is real talk from realwomen in the role right now.
So we're going to have candidconversations with current title
holders and so we can give youthe most honest, unfiltered look
at what it really means to wearthe crown not just the stage
photos and the social mediahighlights, but the behind the
scenes work, the emotionalgrowth, the leadership
(00:46):
challenges and, of course, allof the unexpected lessons that
are going to come with the job.
So this series of Crowned andCandid is all about education
and preparation.
As a coach, I work with womenall the time that are looking to
aspire to be the state ornational title holder, and so we
get a lot of ideas in our headof what that actually looks like
, and perfectionism seems tocreep in and we put the title
(01:09):
holder up on a pedestal likeit's something impossible to
achieve, and so I want to pullback the curtains on that so
that you can see this isattainable, this is realistic,
and it's a matter of workingreally hard to hone in on your
skills so that when you get thejob, if you are blessed with the
job, you can do the best atthat job but not perfectly,
because none of us are.
(01:30):
So we're going to dive into thattoday with our very first
crowned and candid guest.
This is Miss Montana 2024,kaylee Wolfensberger, and she.
I ask each of my guests reallywhat they want the audience to
hear from them, and so, justbefore I give her the mic here,
(01:50):
here's what she said.
She wants to make sure all ofyou understand that being a
title holder is so much morethan putting on a dress and
walking across the stage.
It takes strength, it takesresilience and it takes
dedication.
So I'm really excited to hearKaylee's story today and to
bring that to light for all ofyou as well.
Kaylee, hi, welcome.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (02:09):
Hi, thank you for having me.
I'm so excited, I'm so gladyou're here.
Raeanna Johnson (02:13):
Can you tell us just a little bit about
yourself outside of pageantry?
Give us a little bit of arundown of who you are, how you
got to be where you are today.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (02:31):
Yeah, well , my name is Kaylee
Wolfensberger.
I'm Miss Montana 2024.
I am currently attendingcollege at Montana State
University, where I'm studyingbusiness marketing and getting a
minor in small business andentrepreneurship, and I really
want to work in the professionalsports industry hopefully the
NFL, maybe focusing on athleterepresentation or promotion or
leaning more into the communityrelations side.
I've had experience in boththis year and I really like both
(02:52):
, so I'm really excited to stepinto that and, after I give up
my crown, to focus on graduatingcollege and stepping into that.
I'm 20 years old.
I grew up a competitive dancerand playing the piano, so I was
always looking for ways to kindof showcase my talents and
that's kind of why I steppedinto pageantry.
I also grew up watching my momvolunteer in the Miss America
(03:16):
system, helping at the local andstate levels, and I never
foresaw myself being a statetitle holder and going to Miss
America.
I competed once when I wasyoung and it was not great and I
kind of gave up on that idea.
And then this year was my firsttime competing in Miss and what
sparked it is I just alwayswanted to do something bigger
(03:39):
than myself and I think thatpageantry is a great way for you
to get your foot in the door inprofessional and personal
relations and aspects.
So that's kind of what sparkedit for me.
Raeanna Johnson (03:51):
Yeah, I love that sentiment, that idea of
like being part of something somuch bigger than yourself,
because I'm sure we'll talkabout it today, but like a
common theme lately for me inconversations with my clients
has been like this isn't aboutyou, this is about the bigger
picture, this is about theservice that you're providing
and what you can bring to thetable to influence something on
(04:15):
a greater scale, on a greaterlevel.
So I love that sentiment.
I definitely lived by that whenI was competing too.
So, okay, let's rewind tocrowning night, miss Montana
2024.
What was going through yourmind that night?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (04:30):
I did not think I was going to win.
I think a lot of people saythat, but I genuinely did not
think I was going to win.
I signed up to compete in mystate pageant because we don't
do locals here in Montana twomonths before state happened and
I had a lot of self-doubt andthinking that I was too young to
be competitive in the Misscategory.
(04:51):
But I truly believe the bestway to get better at something
is to just do it.
So why not compete and getbetter and hopefully work up to
having the state title, was mythought.
Um, so before crowning I waswriting my thank you cards to my
director saying thanks so much,I'm excited to come back next
year.
Fully did not expect it.
And then, when they werehanding out awards, I had won
(05:14):
two of their preliminary awardsand I was like, oh wait, ok,
maybe I did a little better thanI thought.
Maybe I'm going to actuallyplace, do a little better, and
then it just kept taking down.
Maybe I'm going to actuallyplace, do a little better.
And then it just kept takingdown.
And I knew that I had to place,so I knew that there was a
possibility.
So my mind was going crazyduring the crowning moment.
But afterwards I just lookedfor my mom in the crowd, because
(05:38):
this is kind of something thatwe've always done together and
it was just crazy to have wonthe state title and get to like,
have that moment with my momthat we were going to Miss
America.
Raeanna Johnson (05:50):
So yeah, isn't that the craziest realization.
After the crown and sash areplaced on your head, like that
moment, you're like, oh man, thenext step is Miss America.
This is crazy.
So, in hindsight, what do youthink that like?
How do you think that thatinfluenced your performance at
competition?
This idea that, like you, weregoing to do it for the practice
(06:12):
and come back the next year with, you know, intentions of, of
really going for the crown.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (06:17):
I still wanted to portray the best
version of myself on stage, so Istill worked really hard.
Because you don't compete,because you don't want to win,
you know you want to stage.
So I still worked really hard.
Because you don't compete,because you don't want to win,
you know you want to win.
So I competed like I wanted towin, but I didn't have fear of
not winning and feelingdisappointed with myself,
because I knew that I had eightmore years to compete if I
(06:40):
wanted to.
And this was all about buildingmyself into a better person.
And actually that night Ididn't do super well with my
onstage question and my talentwas subpar in my opinion.
And so when we did evening outand fitness, I just like, just
have fun, like this is the mostfun part of competition.
(07:00):
You know, I just get to bemyself and bring the energy.
And those were the twopreliminaries that I ended up
winning, because I had taken thefear out of it at that point
and just told myself to make themost of the experience.
Raeanna Johnson (07:16):
So yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, I love that.
So, um, what was your interviewlike at State?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (07:27):
I love interview.
Interview is my favoriteportion of competition and I
feel really confident in currentevents and talking about my
community service initiative,talking about myself, just
everything in general.
So I thought that my interviewwent really well.
This was probably the mostpolitical interview that I had
ever had, but I'm someone whothinks I do well with political
(07:49):
questions, so I walked out ofthe interview room pretty proud
of myself and feeling prettyconfident.
The only question that I waslike oh my goodness, I bombed
that is they asked me to tellthem a joke, and I'm not like I
have a joke in my pocket kind ofgirl.
I consider myself pretty witty,like can think on the fly, like
that, but I did not have a jokein my pocket.
(08:12):
So that was the only thing thatI think I was really
disappointed about in my stateinterview.
Raeanna Johnson (08:18):
Well, it obviously didn't matter.
I mean, the judges look at theentirety of their experience
with you in that interview room,not just one question, and so
you must have handled yourselfreally well, even if you felt
like you didn't have the answerfor the question, because,
honestly, that's what counts.
They're not going to rememberspecifically what you say.
They're going to remember howyou made them feel and what the
(08:39):
energy was like in that room andhow you handled yourself.
So it obviously worked thatroom and how you handled
yourself, so it obviously worked.
Okay, there is so much growthin your year as a state title
holder, as a title holder in anycapacity, at any level.
So can you describe who youwere at the start of your year
and how would you describe whoyou are now?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (09:01):
Oh, this is a loaded question for sure.
Um, I've actually been talkingto a lot of girls recently and
this has come up a little bit isthey're like you're just so
confident and so extroverted.
I just don't feel like I'm thattype of girl.
I don't think I could evercompete in pageantry.
And with every girl that hassaid that, I say I'm a very
(09:22):
confident version of myself now.
But this is not who I was ayear ago when I won Miss Montana
, a little less than a year ago.
I think that I've had so muchgrowth in myself.
I am more confident than everon my opinions and what I want
to do after I graduate college,who I want to be and my values.
(09:43):
And I think that when I wasgoing into Miss Montana, I was
really nervous.
I thought I was really young,not experienced enough, didn't
have enough education under mybelt, didn't have enough
community service under my belt,and I just had a lot of
self-doubt.
And by the time I went to MissAmerica, I knew that I was
portraying the best version ofmyself I possibly could in that
(10:04):
moment.
And that's what I've tried todo even after Miss America is
display the best version ofmyself in every appearance, in
every service activity, inanything I do as Kaylee and
anything I do as Miss Montana.
So I think the biggest thing isthat I've grown in my
confidence in myself think thebiggest thing is that I've grown
(10:27):
in my confidence in myself.
Raeanna Johnson (10:28):
How would you describe showing up as at your
best?
Because I think we hear that alot.
Right, like I'm just going toshow up as myself.
I'm going to show up as thebest version of myself, but what
does that look like for you?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (10:38):
Yeah, I think that it's really rooted in
being confident in what you'rebringing to the table, which can
be really hard in pageantry.
It's really hard to go downthat rabbit hole of comparison
to the other delegates withinthe system.
And at Miss America I reallyhad to focus on what I was
(11:01):
bringing to the table, what Icould do as Miss America, what I
was doing as Miss Montana, notwhat so-and-so was doing in any
portion of competition.
So when I think about being mybest self and what that meant
for me is, I knew that I hadpracticed my piano piece as much
as I could to perform fortalent.
(11:23):
I knew that I had done as manymock interviews as possible to
be solid in what I was going tosay in that interview room and I
just had to keep going back to.
You know you're prepared forwhat you bring to the table.
Don't compare yourself tosomeone else in this competition
and try to be above or at thesame level as them.
Raeanna Johnson (11:48):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Okay, let's going back to thestart of your year again.
What did you think the job ofMiss Montana would look like and
what was different once you gotinto it?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (11:58):
Oh, my goodness, all the things that I
thought would be part of MissMontana are definitely there,
but there's things that youdon't realize are there and I
think that Montana and severalstates over in the Midwest
pageantry is much different overhere than it is in other states
and I was prepared for that,but I don't think I was prepared
(12:21):
enough.
So you hear a lot about you,have a lot of sponsors, a lot of
financial help, a lot of peoplein your corner, but in a rural
state where there's not a bigpopulation, it's actually really
hard to get sponsors, it'sreally hard to get financial
help, and I don't know if I wasnecessarily prepared for how
(12:44):
much work it was going to be onmy own.
And I don't think that'severyone's experience because
not all states are the same.
But I think that there'sdefinitely a misconception with
smaller states that we have thesame amount of support that
other states do.
Raeanna Johnson (13:01):
So have you found any tactics that have
worked and what hasn't worked?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (13:06):
when it comes to finding that support, I
think that people, especiallyin Montana, value someone who's
authentic and real.
They don't want a pageant body.
They don't want you to put onthis glamorous face outfit and
portray a different version ofyourself.
What I have found is mosteffective is being the true
(13:28):
Montana girl that I am andconnecting people.
Connecting with people on thatlevel, because that's what they
want to see.
They want to see that I'm just.
I'm just one of them, I'm justdoing something big.
That's been the biggest thingto help me connect with people
and create those relationships.
Raeanna Johnson (13:46):
Yeah, and I think the thing we all need to
remember about authenticity andtruly being ourselves is that it
just comes down to letting goof what we think other people
think of us or what we thinkother people are looking for in
us.
I was talking to someone theother day about value and how we
(14:08):
kind of determine what value webring to the table based off of
what we're passionate about,what we're skilled at, where our
intellect lies, where ourtalents lie, and I think so
often in pageantry we get caughtup in worrying about whether or
not the judges are going to seethose things as valuable, and
that carries over into being thetitle holder as well that we
(14:29):
get concerned that the peoplethat were around with the crown
and sash on are going to havesome expectation of us.
But as soon as we can drop ourconcerns about what other people
may or may not expect of us,that's when the shield comes
down and we just get to beourselves.
Would you say that that was alot of your experience too?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (14:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
Again, you struggle so hard asa title holder with comparison
and I compared myself to formerMiss Montanas.
I compared myself to othertitle holders and it's just
self-destructive and it wasn'tgetting me any farther.
So it's so important to just becandid and be yourself, and
(15:11):
that's what's going to make yourconnections.
Raeanna Johnson (15:14):
So scary to be candid though?
Why do you think it's so scaryfor us to be candid sometimes?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (15:19):
I think pageantry has a really long
history of portraying a veryglamorous, has a really long
history of portraying a veryglamorous, glamorous and
polished person.
Oh, my goodness, glamorous andpolished person.
And I just don't think that'sthe case.
We are regular people at theend of the day.
I'm a student going to school,I have a job and I miss Montana.
(15:40):
But I think that that stigmacomes from a really long line of
perfect women in the media, andnot that you're not perfect.
That's where we're gettingthings mixed up, and I think
it's so hard to be candid inpageantry because you think that
(16:02):
people want a perfect, polishedversion of yourself and that's
just not the case.
They want to see an authenticgirl.
They want to see the girl nextdoor.
I think of Abby Stockard orMiss America.
Right now, she is the sweetesthuman and I think that comes
across and I think that's whyshe won is because she shows
(16:22):
that authenticity and she showsthat she's just America's girl.
Raeanna Johnson (16:28):
I don't think authenticity is something you
even have to try to do.
It's something that you areable to just uncover when you
let go of these otherexpectations and theories about
what perfect looks like or whatother people are looking for
100%.
Was there a moment early on inyour year that it hit you that
(16:50):
this was real life for you for365 days?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (16:57):
Maybe yes and no.
I think that I did a prettygood job at balancing my life
enough.
But when I was preparing forMiss America, obviously I
sacrificed a lot.
I sacrificed time with friends,I sacrificed a social life,
lots of different things, andthere would be nights where I
(17:18):
would come home from a day ofappearances and then I had to go
to school and then go to workand then come home and go to the
gym and then go to work andthen come home and go to the gym
and practice piano and I wouldjust lay in bed, exhausted
because I want to do so well asMiss Montana.
But at the end of the day, I'malso a human, I'm tired and I
(17:39):
think those nights I was like,oh my gosh, like this is life
and you're, you're exhausted,but it's also you're so happy
because you're like this is sucha full day.
But I think that preparing forMiss America, there were lots of
times that I was like, oh mygosh, this is going to be a busy
year.
Raeanna Johnson (17:56):
Yeah, Would you ?
Would you do anythingdifferently?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (18:02):
I think that I would have asked for help
more.
I think that a lot of women inpageantry are really focused on
being a very strong andconfident woman and I think
sometimes it's hard to bevulnerable when you're
struggling being a title holder,especially a state title holder
, because you don't want peopleto think you're not grateful.
(18:24):
You don't want people to thinkyou're not grateful, you don't
want people to think that you'renot worthy of the title and
asking for help kind of feelslike a cop out.
And I think that I struggledwith that mindset a lot leading
up to Miss America.
I wish that I had just told,like my board, my mom, my
friends, a little more, I justneed help with this.
Like, please help me with this,this and this, and I think that
(18:48):
I would have felt a lot better.
Raeanna Johnson (18:50):
Would you mind sharing, like, if you can think
of any of the specific thingsthat you wish you would have
asked for help for, because Ihave a very similar experience
when I was going to Miss America, for, like, as you're talking,
I'm like nodding my headvigorously, like verbatim, like,
yes, that was me thinking thatI needed to have it all together
, at least from the outside,looking in, and so you know,
(19:12):
I've done some reflection on,like, what did I actually need
help with that people could havehelped me with?
And do you have an idea for youof, like, looking back, what
those specific areas would be?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (19:22):
One that's kind of specific to where I
live.
The region of where I live inMontana is everything is like an
hour and a half apart.
Every city that I would driveto is an hour and a half apart
and we don't have travelcompanions.
So I just always was reallyexhausted driving myself.
I was really exhausted tryingto ask strangers like hey, can
(19:44):
you take this picture, just soyou would have something to post
on social media.
And I think that people don'trealize that that is exhausting
to try and think of how you'regoing to get somewhere by
yourself and then how you'regoing to make sure you get
content to post in an era wherethat's so important and there's
no one to do it for you.
(20:06):
And I wish that I would havejust been more open with my
friends, like, can you pleasecome with me to this event and
just take pictures for me?
I think that that would havetaken a huge off my shoulders
because I think that it causedme a lot of stress to do
everything on my own.
A little more targeted to kindof pageantry.
(20:27):
In general, I was exhaustedlooking for outfits for Miss
America.
I wish that I had just askedfor more help in that area.
I've been like can you pleasefind me a tea party dress?
You look at so many things andeventually it's so exhausting,
so I wish that I would have justasked for people help to pick
(20:49):
out my wardrobe.
Raeanna Johnson (20:51):
So what I'm hearing from you is just the
mental load and I think that's adifficult area to ask for help
in, because how is somebodygoing to help you unload that
mental weight that you carry ofall the responsibilities and the
managing your time and thelogistics of getting to where
(21:12):
you need to be and doing whatyou need to do when you're there
and purchasing all the outfitsthat you need and staying on top
of it?
That's a really difficult thingto navigate, like, how do you
ask for help in those areas?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (21:25):
You know what I?
Mean yeah it's tough, for sure.
Raeanna Johnson (21:29):
Yeah, and it's.
That's one of the things Ithink that you just don't think
about, like how would youmentally prepare for that type
of an experience?
But it does exist and I so Ithink the message that you know
everyone could take away fromthat is understand that that's
normal and that so many womenexperience that on their way to
(21:49):
any level of competition, butespecially going to Miss America
, and this year for the newstate title holders that are
going to be going to MissAmerica in like two to three
months after they're crowned,understand that what you're
going through is normal and sotry to normalize and validate
what you're experiencing and,yeah, do find ways to try and
(22:10):
ask for help in those spaces Forsure.
So how did preparing for MissAmerica differ from your prep
for Miss Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (22:20):
When I was preparing for Miss Montana.
Obviously, like I said before,I wasn't necessarily expecting
to win, but I was trying toportray the best version of
myself in those moments.
So I was working hard when Icompeted for state but kind of
my thought was, oh, next yearI'll just do a better piano
(22:41):
piece, or next year I'll pickout a better dress.
Not that it not that what Ibrought to the stage was subpar,
like not worthy of a stagetalent or worthy of a stage
dress.
But I just had that idea of, oh, I'll just do better next year.
Well, obviously that thatwasn't the case and I was like,
(23:01):
okay, well, we have to do betterfor Miss America now.
So the prep picked up quite abit.
I chose a much more difficultsong to play at Miss America.
So my talent prep was insane.
I was practicing anywhere froman hour to two hours a day on my
piano piece and then doing mockinterviews whenever.
(23:24):
I could and on top of it all ofthis, I was going to school and
working a job, because in theMontana organization we don't
have the funding to pay meenough to not have a job, so I
had to work so I could go toMiss America.
Granted, I had a lot of helpfrom my parents and I'm forever
grateful for that, but I had topick up some of the slack, and
(23:49):
that's not the case witheveryone, so that was a
completely different experienceagainst from state as well.
But I think the biggest thingthat was different is I knew
that this was my once in alifetime chance.
You only get to compete at MissAmerica once.
So I was giving everything Ihad to my prep because, even if
(24:12):
I didn't win, I didn't want tofeel like I lacked in any area
of competition what were thebiggest, what was, what was or
what were the biggest lessons orunexpected challenges that you
encountered competing for MissAmerica?
Oh, um, not necessarily thatthis was at Miss.
(24:35):
America.
But I was really encouraged notto play a specific piano piece
that I really wanted to playMiss America.
I was told that it was too slow, too boring and I was highly
advised against it.
And I picked a song that I knewwas going to challenge me a lot
(24:58):
.
Technically I play Great Ballsof Fire.
It's very fast, it's veryupbeat and I play piano for 12
years and I've never been supergreat at upbeat piano pieces.
But against my better judgment,I chose to play that song and I
wish that I wouldn't have.
I wish that I would have stuckto what I knew and unfortunately
(25:19):
, at Miss America the nerves gotthe better of me and I think
that my lack of confidence in mypiano skills got the better of
me and I messed up my talent atMiss America and like that was
just heart wrenching to practicethat for so many hours and not
(25:40):
perform the way I wanted toperform and not perform the way
I wanted to perform.
So I think that that was a hugemishap on my part at Miss
America and something I was notexpecting to happen.
Raeanna Johnson (25:55):
I had a similar experience, not that someone
told me to do somethingdifferent, but I did not have a
good interview at Miss America,and so that that feeling of like
this is your one and onlychance, and then it's done and
it just wasn't what you hadimagined it to be and wanted it
to be, is really heartbreaking.
So how did you handle theemotional, like letdown or
(26:22):
aftermath after coming home fromMiss America?
Now that it's like done?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (26:30):
When people bring it up it definitely
still hurts in the heart alittle bit, but something really
cool that happened.
That, I think, helps me feel alittle better about this
situation.
So Nikki Sixx he's part of theband Motley Crue was at Miss
America.
His wife is Courtney Sixx.
She does the flowers for MissAmerica she's Bouquet Box, a
(26:52):
sponsor that they have and Iactually ended up running into
her at the expo and I had mysash on and she was like oh my
gosh, like I loved your talent.
And I was like oh my gosh, likeI loved your talent.
And I was like oh, like I justwas really disappointed in
myself.
I don't think that I played howI wanted to play.
I messed up pretty bad and shewas like but me and my husband
(27:15):
were so impressed, you picked itright back up and that's like a
great attribute of a truemusician.
I and I was like okay, well,you know what, If one of the
greatest musicians of all timethinks that I picked up and
showed somewhat of a truemusician, then okay, I'll take
it, Because it was a huge messup for me.
(27:38):
And at first I was like okay,well, I just messed up one of
the biggest songs in rock androll in front of music legend
Nikki Sixx.
But I'll take it.
And they also.
They loved my outfit and myhair.
I've gotten so many complimentsfrom tons of different people
about my outfit and my hair fortalent, so you know there's
little things that I was like.
(27:59):
Okay, like you know what, maybeI messed up the song, I would
have liked to play the songbetter, but at least people love
something about it.
So that's kind of just theattitude I have to have.
You can't dwell on it.
You can't sit here and pickyourself apart for not
performing the way you wanted toperform, Because, let's
(28:19):
remember, like you just went toMiss America, you got that far.
Be proud of getting that far.
Raeanna Johnson (28:26):
That's really hard, though that was really
hard for me.
After coming back from MissAmerica, too, was it very much
like I felt this I don't know,you know expectation that I was
just supposed to be grateful andhappy that I was there, but I
was also grieving.
I was also like it was a verypush and pull, and so I think
(28:46):
for you and for anyone thatmight be experiencing that
similar like that letdown orthat hang of of you know
heartache when someone brings itup, when this is a goal that
you worked so hard for and nowyou'll never be able to go after
it again, I think what I havelearned in the last decade it's
(29:06):
been a decade since I competedis that you get to live in the
and you get to be very proud ofgetting there and being there
and the honor that that is andmaking history, and you get to
grieve the loss of this dreamthat you'll never get to go
after again.
I think that's really important, but I really appreciate you
sharing that, because I thinkthat that's something that we
(29:29):
from the outside really don'tsee.
You come back from Miss America.
You pick up where you left offas a state title holder.
You keep doing appearances.
We see all your stuff on socialmedia media and we just don't
always think about like, unlessyou've been there, you don't
necessarily think about kind ofthe roller coaster of processing
that happens after you get backfrom that once in a lifetime
(29:51):
experience.
So I really appreciate youbeing candid about that.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (29:55):
Yeah, and it's really hard, like you said,
for people from the outside tosee that and to see the pure
exhaustion that you feel afteryou get home from Miss America,
like, yes, it's a crazy week,but you just worked for months
for this.
And I think that I definitelyhad comments.
People were like, well, you'renot really doing appearances and
you've been back for a week.
Granted, yes, like I should bedoing appearances, but let's
(30:20):
remember, like I've been workingso hard for this moment I have,
like you said, time to grievethe fact that it didn't work out
the way I wanted to and like,let me rest for a minute, let me
decompress, because that's hugeand and I also don't want to go
out and do appearances when I'mnot ready to do it.
I'm not going to go portraymyself in a way that's not who I
(30:44):
am, this exhausted, beat downperson of myself.
Raeanna Johnson (30:48):
So so you took some time to rest, just a beat.
How was it getting back outthere then after that?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (30:57):
Oh, it was hard.
I think that for probably thefirst month I really struggled
with okay, well, kind of what amI supposed to do?
I'm still just tried to jumpback in, but I think that I
(31:25):
needed to maybe reevaluate mygoals after nationals was done
and I think that girls also havea hard time doing that after
state is done reevaluating whatyou want the rest of your year
to look like.
So I think that I struggledthere quite a bit.
Raeanna Johnson (31:42):
Yeah, we talk about in preparation.
I don't know if you did much ofthis before Miss Montana, but,
like for me, when I waspreparing, and what I work with
my clients on too, was like whatis, what's your game plan,
what's your 30, 60, 90?
What you know, what are yourquarterly goals for your year?
And really ironing that out,because once you get back from
(32:02):
Miss America, it's like allright, the world is your oyster,
so to speak, the year is youroyster.
What are you going to do withit?
And having some level of ideas,some kind of a plan, but also,
after processing and all of thatand figuring out, how will I
make the most out of this?
(32:23):
Last?
For you, six months, I believe,right, about six months after
Miss America, and for me it wasnine months because I competed
in September and now the nextclass will also be competing in
September and they'll have ninemonths left.
So I think that preparationtime and the mindset building up
to Miss America is incrediblyimportant, because that's such a
huge highlight of your year.
(32:43):
But then planning for the restof that and the whirlwind of OK,
where do I, where do I go fromhere, what do I do next?
So, so what, what, what do youfeel like you have really
accomplished since, since comingback from Miss America?
What are you really proud offor your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (33:00):
I'm really proud of the image I portrayed
for Montana at Miss America.
I've had a lot of complimentsand comments of how well I
represented our state and that'shuge for me, because we're a
small state, we're a strugglingpageant state, it's hard to
(33:21):
recruit girls, but we have had ahuge jump in numbers this year
and I do believe that a lot ofthat has come from my presence
on social media, specificallyduring Miss America Week,
highlighting what a wonderfulexperience this is and getting
girls engaged that way and thenalso making those one-on-one
(33:42):
connections with girls.
I think it's been reallyvaluable and I'm really proud of
myself for that.
Raeanna Johnson (33:48):
Yeah, that is really great.
What do you think has keptgirls from competing in Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (33:52):
I just don't think that we have had
enough face time.
Necessarily.
I don't think that peoplereally know what pageantry is.
So that's why I think it was soimportant for me to be on
social media so heavily thisyear because we're in a digital
age.
It's how people get a lot oftheir information.
So I was portraying not only atrue Montana girl, but also Miss
(34:17):
Montana, miss American howamazing this experience can be,
and I think that that's whatreally stood out.
Raeanna Johnson (34:24):
Yeah, Okay.
So since we're kind of divinginto the business side and the
work of the title holder, howinvolved were you in like the
professional aspects of yourrole, like the booking and the
booking fees or the appearancefees or scheduling, like all the
things?
Like how involved were you inall of that?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (34:50):
I did it all myself.
I think that, again, this issomething that comes from being
from a smaller pageant state.
We don't have a booking agent,we don't have a travel companion
, we have a very small board andunfortunately, during my year,
my board went through a lot ofchanges.
We have a new executivedirector as of recently, so I
was dealing with a board thatwas trying to change and revamp
(35:12):
all while I was trying to beMiss Montana and I booked every
appearance myself.
I don't get paid for myappearances.
I don't get paid for myappearances.
I we just don't live in a statewhere people really put a value
on spending money for MissMontana to be there.
Some people do.
(35:32):
I'll say that I've been paidfor one appearance and they
reached out to me and then Ihave also been reached out to
again and they're paying for mytravel expenses.
So those are the only twoappearances that I have had any
compensation for, and I don'tthink people understand that's
(35:54):
how our smaller states work.
So I was heavily involved inthe business side of being Miss
Montana.
But, yes, it was hard.
But I also am really gratefulbecause I'm a business student
and I want to work in business.
So I think this has been a hugeeye-opener because I handled
the marketing side of myself,the booking side, some of the
financial side, and I did have aboard who helped me fill out my
(36:18):
paperwork and get my copyrightand that sort of situation.
But when it came down to justbeing Miss Montana, I did it all
myself.
Raeanna Johnson (36:29):
How did you look for appearances and go
about booking yourself for thoseappearances to stay busy?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (36:34):
This has been a really hard part of my
year is getting the confidenceto send people a message asking
if you can be at their event andthat's been so hard for me
because it's like, can I, can Icome to this event, Can I come
be present for this?
And you just you feel awkwardasking and it's really hard, but
(36:56):
if I want the program to grow Ihad to do it.
So that was hard to navigateand I really tried to put more
of an emphasis on service.
So I wasn't just saying, hey,can I come attend this event for
free, I was saying, hey, can Icome help out at this event.
So most of the events I've doneI'm doing some form of service.
(37:17):
I'm not just like there for theface value, I'm like helping
set up, helping take down,working with kids, something
along those lines.
Raeanna Johnson (37:29):
Providing more value to the event itself, which
, yeah, is definitely powerfuland, I think, a lot of people.
It depends on the state, ofcourse, as you're mentioning,
like each state kind of has adifferent unique culture to
things, but I think were yousurprised at how many people
were like, oh my gosh, we'd loveto have you as Miss Montana?
Did that help boost yourconfidence at all?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (37:51):
Yeah, when people asked like for me to
come to things or mentioned mecoming to things, I was like oh
my gosh, yes, I would love to dothat, Like thank you for asking
me and not making me ask you.
So I think that definitelyboosted my confidence and also
just helped me feel a littlemore confident when I did have
to ask to be at things, becausewhen I went to those events that
(38:13):
I asked I would make thoseconnections and have people ask
me.
Raeanna Johnson (38:16):
So how did you get past feelings of it being
like personal, that they didn'twant you there, if you were ever
denied?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (38:27):
honestly I can't honestly say that I am
over it sometimes when peopleare like oh no, like we're fine,
like it is kind of like hurtful.
They're not meaning to behurtful, but they just don't
like.
It's kind of not that kind ofevent or whatever it is.
So you know I wouldn't say thatI'm over it.
Raeanna Johnson (38:47):
That's fair and so honest and real.
I appreciate that so much.
So were you given any kind ofunexpected business
responsibilities, like, did youexpect all of that?
Did you get any unexpectedresponsibilities that you kind
of had to learn as you went?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (39:05):
I didn't expect to be booking so many
appearances on my own, and Ithink that is what contributed
heavily to my exhaustion that wetalked about earlier leading up
to Miss America, because I wasbooking my own appearances,
going to them by myself and thendoing everything else on top of
it.
So I think that contributed alot to my exhaustion.
Raeanna Johnson (39:31):
Were you expected to book this many
appearances, or was thissomething that you wanted to do?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (39:36):
No, I have an appearance requirement in my
contract that I had to meet, sowhen I signed my contract, I
was expecting a little bit morehelp to meet that expectation.
So that was definitely hard.
But, like I said earlier, wewent through a lot of changes
this year and so I can'tcompletely blame it on one
(39:58):
person or anything like that.
But I just hope that for thenext title holder.
No-transcript.
Raeanna Johnson (40:11):
Can you share at all as much as you're
comfortable about how youhandled any kind of
miscommunication or conflictresolution with the board of
directors as all these changeswere going on?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (40:22):
I was really lucky to have some very
awesome people in my corner, andone of those was my mom, and
when things went wrong, I calledmy mom a lot and she was really
someone who helped talk me downwhen I was upset and helped me
lay out a plan of how toapproach things differently.
I'm also someone that reallybelieves in having honest
(40:45):
communication, so I don't wantit sugarcoated.
I don't sugarcoat things when Ihave a problem and I think that
when I talked to my board, I wasvery honest.
I said I need more help withthis or I would like to see this
, and I just was upfront and Ithink that's the best way to
handle it is doing so with graceand doing so with honesty.
Raeanna Johnson (41:08):
Let's segue into your community service
initiative.
I'm excited to hear more aboutit.
So can you tell us about whatyour community Service
Initiative and like how it evenevolved throughout your reign,
if at all?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (41:21):
Yeah, so my Community Service Initiative
is called Healing Harmonies andit's about providing underfunded
youth with access to musiceducation.
And it stems from my personalexperience of using music to
cope with a very traumatic eventthat I dealt with at a young
age, and music is what broughtme out of my funk.
(41:43):
I struggled really hard withfeeling emotions after this
event and when I sat at thepiano that's when things started
to click for me and heal for meand I just knew that was so
important.
So it kind of stems from thatstory, but also in connection
with children living inimpoverished communities.
Children living in poverty arenine times more likely to
experience trauma than theirwealthier peers.
(42:03):
So I knew that there was a needfor assistance in that area,
especially in my own community,Bozeman.
Montana has a poverty rate of14.7%, which is higher than the
state and the national rate.
So I knew when I developed mycommunity service initiative
that I wanted it to be veryforward and really something
(42:26):
that I could take initiative on.
So that's why I ended upsegueing into providing music
for underfunded youth, becausethat's what healed me when I
dealt with a traumaticexperience.
So it's very personal to me andI'm just really grateful that
I've had the opportunity tocommunicate that with the
(42:48):
Montana community nationally.
But I think that throughout myyear when I developed this, when
I was a local title holder,it's obviously come a very long
way and I think that I focused alot on instilling a love for
music with children.
This year was provide moreaccess to that music education,
(43:18):
which kind of stems more frombeing in contact with adults and
the funding side of things.
So it's definitely evolved inthat way.
I still work with kids veryoften.
I love to do my musicactivities with kids, but I also
had to tap more into dealingwith like schools and things
like that and trying to getadults to understand the
(43:40):
importance of funding our musiceducation system.
Raeanna Johnson (43:44):
How much of your time as Miss Montana, in
terms of appearances and thework that you were doing behind
the scenes, was dedicated toyour CSI versus general
appearances?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (44:00):
I would say that it was heavily towards
my CSI.
So I actually worked reallyhard to do to develop a
partnership with Head Start,which is a government
organization and it'sessentially about preparing kids
for success in school andspecifically for people and
families who are living belowthe poverty line.
So I spent a lot of my yearestablishing that partnership
(44:22):
and then fulfilling thatpartnership, visiting Head
Starts across Montana and alsojust schools in general.
Montana is a very rural state.
We have a lot of underfundedcommunities so I was really
trying to tap into thosecommunities and provide them
with that access to musiceducation, instilling that love
(44:46):
for music in children.
I wouldn't trade any of mycommunity service appearance
initiatives for something moreglamorous, like speaking at a
gala or anything like that.
Obviously I love thoseappearances, but I'm someone who
really feels like the crown andmy mission is rooted in service
above all things Service style,scholarship and success I love
(45:10):
them all but I am the mostattached to the service point of
the crown.
So it's just been reallyawesome to be able to be in
those communities and servethose communities, especially
when these are people who don'tget to see Miss Montana a lot.
They're not people who havequote.
Unquote quote important peoplecome into their town, so it's a
(45:31):
really big deal for them to seeMiss Montana.
And I think that when I go tothese communities sometimes and
I think this is really commonfor all title holders you're
just excited to be there andyou're doing your job, but you
forget that this might be theonly interaction these kids have
with a title holder.
(45:51):
So for you, yes, you're justmeeting with a classroom, but
there's a little girl in therewho's going to remember the day
she met Miss Montana forever andI just have loved that.
I've gotten to expand mycommunity service initiative
throughout the state.
Raeanna Johnson (46:07):
Can you think of one particular, especially
meaningful experience that youhad?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (46:12):
meaningful experience that you had.
Yeah, I was talking to a schoolone day, a group of students,
and there was a kid who was justnot paying attention.
He dealt with kind of alearning disorder.
He didn't want really anythingto do with me and I was really
struggling.
This was one of my firstappearances.
(46:33):
I was like what am I doingwrong?
Why am I not connecting withthis child?
What can I do better?
And then I just continued towork and do my thing and, like I
said, I focus a lot on themusic.
So when I started playing musicand doing the activity, I
watched this student's demeanorsoften, which was really special
(46:55):
.
And then I watched him kind ofcalm down and tap into what I
was saying a little bit more andI just felt a lot more
confident.
And then when I got up to leaveI was telling everyone goodbye.
He caught me at the door and hehanded me a paper and he had
drawn a picture of me.
So maybe in that moment Ididn't feel like I was
(47:16):
connecting with this student.
I didn't feel like I was doingsomething right.
But at the end of the day Ileft an impact and I think
that's just super special.
Raeanna Johnson (47:26):
Those behind the scenes moments that we'll
never be able to see, becauseyou can't portray that on social
media.
It's something that you have toexperience for yourself on the
other side of it.
Was there a failure that youfelt or a setback during your
year that ended up being aturning point for you?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (47:46):
um, like I said, when I failed at my piano
piece, that was kind of like areally big setback, especially
at Miss America.
I had to really revamp myselfvery quickly because I had to
compete, you know, in two daysafter that.
Um, but I think that anotherfailure that really did cheer,
(48:07):
as I was trying really hard tobuild up our scholarship fund
and actually get theuniversities, the two state
universities- in our state togive a scholarship to whoever
won Miss Montana, and I put alot of time and effort into this
.
I mean I had laid it all out,printed out documents.
I felt like I was veryorganized.
I made meetings with people, Imet with them in person.
(48:30):
I felt like I really portrayedan honest version of myself in
the program and one of theuniversities turned it down and
I was so disappointed.
That day I had a really hardtime just feeling motivated to
do anything because I reallywanted this to work out for the
next title holder, so that feltlike a really big setback for me
(48:53):
.
Raeanna Johnson (48:54):
But I just had to remind myself that there's so
much more I can do and I neededto look for scholarship in
other ways, and that's what I'vebeen doing in like pageantry,
(49:16):
is like I think we put so muchpressure and like getting all
these things done during thatyear of service, but there's so
much you can do afterwards aswell, and in many ways more,
because you won't have all theobligations and expectations of
having that crown and sash on atthe same time.
There's so many ways that youcan contribute long-term that
you started the foundation, youlaid the groundwork for what
(49:37):
could be a really significantscholarship opportunity in the
future, and so that isn'tnecessarily a failure, like it
was just a not now, but maybenot never.
Yeah, absolutely.
What personal strengths did youdiscover or develop that you
didn't realize that you hadbefore, during this year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (49:57):
I have learned that I am very mentally
tough and I'm very proud of that.
I had a lot of changesthroughout my year, like we've
talked about earlier, and therewere times that I was really
disappointed that this washappening during my year, was
(50:19):
happening during my year,because you want this so bad.
You get one shot at it and tohave this dream that you've had
set in your heart not work outthe way you thought it was going
to is really hard.
But I have learned to not onlybe more mentally tough, but that
I am really strong in thosesituations and I I'm very
composed and I know that thishas set me up for success in the
(50:41):
future.
But I think that it wassomething that I had to learn
quickly, but I'm very gratefulto have that skill now.
Yeah.
Raeanna Johnson (50:52):
What do you hope people remember most about
your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (50:57):
I hope that when people think about me
being Miss Montana, they seesomeone that propelled the
program forward and dideverything they could to do so.
I don't ever want people tothink about me being selfish or
that I took the year to justbrag about myself.
I hope that people see the workthat I put in to build our
(51:20):
program because, yes, I wantedto be the Miss Montana that
became Miss America but itdidn't happen and you have to
re-route your plan and decidehow you're going to make an
impact differently, and I hopethat people remember that.
(51:45):
I grew the numbers of girls whosigned up.
I tried to grow our scholarshipfoundation.
I brought a new era ofpageantry to the Miss Montana
pageant.
Raeanna Johnson (51:51):
What have you learned that you know now that
you wish you had known at thestart of your year?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (51:57):
This experience is 100% about you.
Don't let other people changethe experience for you if that's
not how you want your year tobe.
I think that in pageantry, it'sreally easy to conform to what
other people want you to be, andI think it's great that you're
doing this podcast series toshow that people are living
(52:21):
completely different lives thanyou think they're living.
And if you're a local titleholder, a state title holder, a
national title holder, whateverit is, being yourself and giving
this experience what you thinkit deserves and being the title
holder that you want to be is ofthe utmost importance.
Don't conform to someone else'sview of what they want you to
(52:45):
be.
I think that's something that Ireally hope girls see and that
we move more towards in thefuture of pageantry.
Raeanna Johnson (52:54):
Has your personal definition of success
changed because of thisexperience?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (52:59):
Absolutely .
I think that when I started Idefinitely thought that if I
didn't place at Miss Americathat I would have been a failure
.
Hard with my board, I know thatthey really wanted me to place.
They were like you're going tobe our Miss Montana that gets in
the top 10.
Like we just know it, we canfeel it, and I felt so much
(53:20):
pressure, like it was endearingfor them to say that, but it
also was so much pressure andwhen I didn't do that I had a
really hard time recovering fromthat experience.
But I just think it's soimportant to remember that you
have other goals with with whatyou're doing.
Raeanna Johnson (53:40):
Yeah, all right .
So your year of service isalmost behind you.
When do you give up the crown?
June 21st.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (53:48):
Very soon.
Raeanna Johnson (53:50):
Yes.
How are you approaching yourlife now that, now that this
year is coming to an end?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (53:58):
To be completely honest, I'm really
struggling with the life afterthe crown situation.
I'm not really surrounded by aton of pageantry friends and
family.
I'm kind of one of the firstpeople to really step into that.
So I think I'm going to have ahard time expressing that
(54:20):
feeling of loss after I give upmy title.
So I'm kind of already tryingto prepare for that situation.
But I know that there's so muchmore ahead for me.
This opportunity has allowed meto put my foot in the door in
so many areas and put my name inthe mouths of really important
people, and I'm really excitedto graduate college and I'm
(54:43):
really excited to start workingin professional sports and I
think that being Miss Montanahas given me that opportunity.
I've had the opportunity tospeak with the Seattle Seahawks
and the San Francisco Giants,among many other teams.
I'm just really excited that.
You know this opportunity hasgiven me more opportunities and
I need I need to see it that wayand not see it as I'm closing
(55:07):
the door on something.
I'm just starting a new chapter.
Raeanna Johnson (55:12):
Very bittersweet, sometimes feeling
more bitter than sweet,especially for you, when you
thought that you would have manymore years to be competing in
this organization.
But, I mean, after just thisbrief time getting to know you,
I'm so thrilled for you.
The best is yet to come.
(55:33):
You have gained so much fromthis experience.
It's so evident and you'vecontributed so much through your
year that is evident as wellthat wherever you go next is
going to be extraordinary.
Try not to compare yourself towhat your sisters in your class
of Miss America are doing.
I struggled with that a lot.
(55:54):
I think that's going to be mymessage to each and every one of
you that I sit down with onCrowned and Candid, because that
was difficult.
It's still the highlight reelthat we see on social media, but
we had our 10-year reunion,class reunion, in September and
it was so, oh, just invigoratingto talk to some of my sisters
(56:17):
in my class and find out thatthey were struggling in such a
similar way to me in thattransition of you know post
title holder here.
So it's very real and we allexperience it.
But you know there's so muchmore to come for you and I'm so
excited to see that happen foryou.
Kaylee Wolfensberger (56:37):
Thank you.
Raeanna Johnson (56:38):
So what advice would you give to the next Miss
Montana?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (56:44):
Number one ask for help when you need it.
It's going to.
No one's going to judge you forasking for help, but also I
think this is going to be manygirls.
Advice for the next titleholder is to soak it all in.
It goes so fast and I wish thatI had just taken the time to
sit in those moments and reallysoak it all in when I was doing
(57:07):
service or giving a speech orbeing on stage.
I wish that I had justcherished that time a little bit
more.
Raeanna Johnson (57:15):
And what advice would you give her about
preserving her own well-being?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (57:20):
Your well-being is above anything
else in this situation.
You have to remember that ifyou're not at your best, you're
not portraying the best versionof Miss Montana you could, or
whatever your title is, so it'sso important that you put your
needs at the forefront in thissituation.
It's not selfish to make surethat you're in a good place.
Raeanna Johnson (57:44):
And if she ever doubts herself, what words
would you want her to hear fromyou?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (57:51):
You know, I think that I would say that
self-doubt is normal and it'sokay to feel those feelings, but
remember that you did somethingthat the judges saw of value
and they knew that you couldrepresent our state and that I
know that you can do it too.
Raeanna Johnson (58:08):
When you think back on the season of your life
five to 10 years from now, whatdo you think that you're going
to remember the most?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (58:14):
I think that I'm going to remember that
I was 20 years old and I didsome pretty amazing things.
I'm the youngest member of theMiss Montana class and I think
that I want to remember that Iwas 20 years old and really cool
and I hope that my kids thinkthat I'm really cool and whoever
looks at me, they're going tothink, wow, she did some pretty
(58:37):
amazing things.
Raeanna Johnson (58:38):
One final word from you, my dear.
What is your message to theSash and Soul community today?
Kaylee Wolfensberger (58:43):
I think that it's important to remember
that if you don't walk away withthat crown, it is not a measure
of your worth.
Having a crown does not makeyou any more worthy of love and
respect and of compassion andrecognition.
At the end of the day, it'sjust a crown.
It is not putting any morevalue on the person that you are
(59:07):
.
So don't let the loss of atitle affect you in that way,
because you're worthy and lovedand you're doing amazing things.
You know one woman gets to wearthe crown, but you know God
saves the rest of us from it.
It's something that we say herein Montana, because it's an
amazing opportunity, but it'salso a tough situation to be in.
(59:32):
So look at it from a differentpoint of view.
A tough situation to be in.
So look at it from a differentpoint of view.
Raeanna Johnson (59:37):
I love that.
I have never heard that beforeand I'm going to remember that.
So powerful, oh my gosh.
Kaylee Wolfensberger, MissMontana, 2024.
Thank you so much for sharingyour candid thoughts, your
experience, your passion with us, your insights.
This was a really beautifulconversation and I really
appreciate your time and thelove that you poured into
(01:00:00):
everything that you said.
So thank you so much, Wishingyou the very best and the rest
of your year just the next eightweeks maybe.
I think it's like two months.
It's wrapping up quickly.
Soak it all in, like you said,and be proud of yourself.
You certainly represented welland I'm glad to have met you and
(01:00:22):
had you on.
So thank you again.
Yeah, absolutely All right, Sashand Soul.
I will be back again very soonwith another episode in this
series of Crowned and Candid,and I will talk with you then.
Bye.
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