September 26, 2025 • 36 mins
Episode 59 is a lighter, sassier breath of fresh air. We're diving into some unpopular opinions and pageant pet peeves. From the pressure to "build a brand" to multi-thousand dollar gowns, sponsor politics, secrecy around paperwork, and that overused interview crutches, - I'm sharing what I've seen as a coach, judge, and former titleholder, and why staying in your lane (and protecting your energy) will always outshine playing the game.
Here's what we get into:
- Personal branding vs. actually knowing yourself
- Coaching programs and budgets (value > price tag)
- Couture gowns, recycling looks, and what really reads on stage
- Secrecy culture around paperwork, talent, and wardrobe
- Sponsors, "politics," and choosing the path of least resistance
- Comparison as a teacher... not a blueprint
- Interview pet peeves and stronger ways to answer directly
If it works for you, do it. If it drains you, don't. The goal is simple: show up as the best version of you - with mindset, communication, and service aligned.
Bring your own hot takes... I want to hear them!
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
Websites: www.fearlesslyauthentic.com | www.sashandsoul.com
Email: info@fearlesslyauthenticcoach.com
If you’re looking for more than just surface-level prep—and you’re ready to prepare with strategy, support, and confidence that actually lasts—I’d love to be part of your process.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
This is episode number 59.
And, guys, it's a beautiful day.
I'm in just like a really,really good mood today.
I just feel like things arewonderful, despite all the stuff
that we may be seeing everytime that we log into TikTok and
are scrolling, I'm just in myown little world, feeling pretty
(00:24):
good today.
So I hope that you are doingthe same thing for you Find time
to take a break from all of thenoise and just listen to the
quiet, find things to begrateful for, finding
appreciation and just reallyelevate your spirits.
I've got clients that have beentalking about how much they are
minimizing their time on socialmedia, and I just, I really
(00:45):
applaud that.
I've got clients that have beentalking about how much they are
minimizing their time on socialmedia and I just, I really
applaud that.
I've got one that has an appthat monitors like, literally
like only allows her to go onsocial media for a certain
amount of time a day.
And then I've got another thatI don't remember what she called
it, but it's a device that shetaps her phone on every time she
leaves the house so that whenshe goes to school, she
literally cannot access thingson her phone that are social
(01:07):
media related or outside ofanything, that she would
normally use for her classes orwork or whatnot, and then when
she gets home she can tap thedevice again and then access
those accounts, and I justthought that is so brilliant.
One of the things that I knowwe're all very aware of is time
management, but one of thethings we are less focused on is
our energy management andfocusing on the things that give
(01:29):
us energy versus the thingsthat steal our energy.
The energy sucks, so to speakand also just knowing the tools
to kind of take care of yourselfwhen your energy is depleted,
so that you can work towardsrefilling it.
But I think that is anexcellent strategy minimizing
time on social media, minimizingscreen time, taking
(01:50):
opportunities to be outside inthe sunshine, to be speaking
with people face to face ratherthan hearing all the noise.
So with that man, I don't know,I'm just I'm in such a good
mood.
So today we're doing a littlebit more lighthearted.
Podcast episode today.
It's been pretty heavy.
Last week I talked about how toavoid burnout, how best to take
care of yourself, especiallyduring a busy local season.
(02:13):
The week before that I wastalking about just the weight of
the world right now and justfocusing on human dignity and
being good people.
And that was all, of course, inthe wake of so much of the
national trauma that we'reexperiencing right now.
But today I was like you know,let's just lighten up the mood a
(02:34):
little bit, I'm feeling good, Ijust want this to be a fun
episode.
And I was talking to my intern,sharon, yesterday.
I was like what, what do youthink I should talk about?
And so we got on the topic ofunpopular opinions.
Some of my unpopular opinionswere more so.
They're not even unpopularopinions necessarily, they're
more so, like just my pet peevesabout things in pageants.
(02:57):
So I'm just going to go on abit of a rampage today about
some of the things that irk mewhen I'm talking with my clients
, when I'm seeing it online,when I'm hearing it through the
grapevine, just the things thatI'm like can we just not?
Can we please not?
So I have a list here on alittle sticky note, and as I was
writing my notes I actually hadto flip the note over, and I've
(03:20):
got some notes on the back ofmy sticky note too, which I feel
like is like very wrong.
Right, like that's the stickyside.
You can't see the back.
So, anyway, I digress, so let'skick this off with.
So.
First thing Sharon said to mewas maybe do a podcast on
personal branding and I was like, oh, that was my immediate
(03:43):
reaction when she suggested Italk about personal branding and
I get.
Personal branding, I think isreally important.
I have friends that areinfluencers.
They are developing theirpersonal brand as part of their
business.
As influencers, I have to focuson my brand within Fearlessly
Authentic, and my brand withSash and Soul and being really
(04:04):
consistent with that.
But this idea of building yourbrand as a pageant title holder
or a pageant contestant is likecall me old school.
It's just a little relativelynewer for me Back when I was
competing oh, I'm going to agemyself.
So back in the mid 2000s to2010s, when I was competing,
(04:27):
like personal branding wasn't asmuch of a buzzword, like that
branding word wasn't as much ofa buzzword, partly because
social media was really startingto kick off.
You guys, when I startedcompeting, we actually had rules
that we were not allowed to usesocial media, and how times
have changed.
It's wild.
Like now it's very muchexpected of you and oftentimes
(04:47):
like even in the job descriptionof the title holder using
social media.
So I understand why branding isa big deal now, and I
understand because there's allthis emphasis about you know,
being a title holder anddeveloping your personal brand
because you are an influencerwithin this pageant system.
(05:07):
I also understand the conceptof personal branding when it
comes to your messaging behindyour platform or your initiative
, or just your messaging to setyou apart as a title holder and
being consistent.
But here's my take.
Here is my maybe unpopularopinion on personal branding If
(05:29):
you are doing the deep work tounderstand who you are, what
you're all about, what you'repassionate about, what you're
interested in, what you'reknowledgeable about, what you're
skilled at, what your valuesare, that you're bringing to the
table, if you are doing thatdeep work to understand who you
are and consistently showing upin that light, that's your brand
(05:49):
.
There it is.
So, when it comes to developinga brand, from my perspective
it's more so about uncoveringyour brand and then being really
consistent about who you are,and then, of course, we can get
into the weeds of okay, well,what about branding in terms of
coloring or font, like thevisual branding, or like
(06:10):
wardrobe and styling and all ofthat.
Like yeah, we could absolutelyget into the weeds about that.
That's the fun stuff, though,right, like that's the glam,
that's the uncovering yourunique personal style, the
hairstyle, the makeup, thewardrobe that makes sense for
you, that is flattering for you,and you can certainly hone in
and develop that as part of yourbrand.
(06:32):
But have fun with that.
I don't think that there is aperfect recipe for branding.
If you were to work with me, ifI were your coach, the way that
we would be approaching yourbrand is everything that I had
said at the start of this, whichis let's uncover exactly who
you are.
Let's get really clear aboutyour messaging behind your
(06:52):
initiative or your platform.
Let's hone in on your strengths.
What are your inner qualities?
Let's work through any limitingbeliefs that are holding you
back.
Let's really lean into andappreciate the things that make
you different, that separate you.
Let's build up your inherentleadership skills, your solid
communication skills, like thoseare the things we would be
(07:13):
focusing on as part of yourbrand so that you are showing up
consistently.
So my unpopular opinion aboutpersonal branding and developing
your brand is woof, like justknow yourself, know yourself and
show up genuinely andauthentically as you, and it
will evolve.
A brand is not something thatyou develop overnight.
(07:36):
It is a long-term, consistentapproach to putting yourself out
there authentically, vulnerably, just real, just you, all right
, and your brand is going toshift and it's going to ebb and
flow.
I mean, I've changed.
I think a year ago I overhauledmy logo for Fearlessly
Authentic and I'm constantlylike taking market feedback and
(07:57):
adjusting things to make surethat my programming is doing
everything that I want it to bedoing and is valuable for
consumers.
So you know, it's just a littledifferent when you're talking
about, like, your own personalbrand as a human being versus
branding an organization or abusiness, or even as an
influencer that has a brand,because you have brand deals
(08:18):
with other companies and theyare investing in your brand.
So I could go on, but I thinkthat I would be beating a dead
horse, which we don't want to do.
So my next maybe unpopularopinion, more so, just like,
from a very personal standpoint,my own values and morals is
(08:39):
that you do not need to breakthe bank investing in a coaching
program.
There are coaching programs outthere that charge what they're
worth and they provide you morevalue than what you're even
investing in.
That's the kind of coachingprogram that you should invest
in, and there are coachingprograms out there that charge
an arm and a leg and are underproviding value for what you're
(09:04):
spending.
You do not need to spend topdollar.
Just because you spend topdollar does not mean that it is
the best coaching program foryou.
Just because it's a coachingprogram that you've seen a lot
of other girls doing does notmean that it's a coaching
program for you.
You need to do the research,find a coach that you vibe with,
find a coaching program thatmeets all of your needs to
(09:29):
elevate you, the things that youknow you need to be focusing on
in order to reach that nextlevel and shop around Truly,
truly, shop around For a longtime.
Please, I beg of you, do notstick with that coach purely out
of loyalty if you're notactually getting something out
of it.
Please and I tell my clientsthat too and I've had clients
(09:51):
that step away and go workingwith other coaching programs and
like truly, truly no skin offmy back.
You do you.
I am not one size fits all.
I know that I am a little nicheand I like it that way.
I'm not going to work withevery single girl that I have a
consult with, and that's okay.
(10:12):
I think that is the beautybehind offering consultations is
to explore what works for youand what doesn't.
But it really bothers me and itbreaks my heart when I hear
about girls, when I haveconsultations, that have
invested in a coaching program.
Maybe they went on like aweekend retreat or they did like
(10:33):
I don't know how you knowcertain number of weeks or
number of months that you knowwas thousands of dollars and
what they received was cookiecutter same package that
everybody else is getting.
If that works for you, ifthat's the kind of program you
need and you find so much valuein that that you don't even care
(10:54):
how much you spend, great, gofor it.
But don't feel obligated.
Don't feel like you are notgoing to succeed if you don't
invest that amount of money in aprogram, especially if it's
just not quite everything thatyou're looking for or everything
that you need to help you excelpersonally.
So I say this as a coach.
(11:16):
I feel like this is why it'smaybe like crazy for me to be
saying but don't break the bank,please, like.
If coaching is going to put youin debt, don't do it.
Please don't do it.
There are plenty of resourcesout there that will help elevate
your game, that will helpelevate you, that will help
elevate your skills so that youcan succeed, that aren't going
(11:38):
to cost an arm and a leg, thataren't going to cause you so
much stress because of thefinancial side of things.
I literally just had a clienttext me yesterday and say I'm so
sorry, like I got to take astep back because of finances
right now.
Totally, please put like yourwellbeing first.
Coaching is not a necessity.
(11:58):
It's awesome, like as a coach,I can say that I worked with a
coach who I love to completelyturn the game around for me, but
it's not a necessity, Okay.
So please don't think that youneed to break the bank in a
coaching program in order to win.
That's another one I couldprobably do an entire episode on
, but let's move on.
(12:21):
This is also a budget centeredarea.
You do not need to have themost expensive dress and, in
fact, a couture gown is isn'tnecessarily the best gown just
because it's couture.
If it doesn't fit you, quiteright.
If it walks really weirdbecause it's too heavy or
(12:43):
there's all this beading that'sgetting in your way, or if the
train is kind of weird orwhatever.
Just because it's couture andit looks amazing under lights
does not mean that it's the bestdress for you.
So you don't need to spendthousands of dollars on a gown,
especially for locals, you guys?
Oh my gosh, please.
This is an unpopular opinion,for sure, for sure, for sure, do
(13:05):
you?
If you've got the budget andyou want a new gown for locals
and that's fun for you, yeah, gofor it, because pageants are
glam and that's awesome.
But please, just recycle an oldgown.
I think I did purchase a newgown I think it was only $500
for my last local in the MissAmerica organization the year
(13:25):
that I won Miss Wisconsin.
I did buy a new gown.
I had the budget for it.
I was interested in havingsomething new.
It had been a couple of yearssince I competed.
I wanted something fresh.
But in every other competitionI recycled.
I even wore my Miss Wisconsingown.
That I won in was a gown that Ihad borrowed to wear for one of
(13:45):
the crowning ceremonies duringLaura Kepler's homecoming in
Wisconsin.
When she crowned me MissWisconsin as her successor, I
wore the exact same gown.
I did not feel the need to weara new gown Again, it's fun.
It's so fun If you've got thebudget or you have a sponsor or
whatever great.
Find a new gown, that's awesome.
(14:07):
Or if there's somethingdrastically wrong with your last
gown, sure, but it is notnecessary to have a new gown
every single time.
It's just really not.
So find something that worksfor you.
Find something that you'recomfortable and confident in.
It's always going to be newjudges Locals.
You may have some crossover ofsome people that are in the
pageant industry and have seenyou compete before, but I had
(14:28):
that and they didn't judge mepoorly because I wore that gown
at state before.
It's completely fine to recycleand reuse.
So the most expensive dressisn't always the best dress for
you and it's definitely notnecessary.
All right, I made a TikTok aboutthis yesterday and no one has
(14:48):
commented to tell me what thebig deal of this is.
But secrecy regarding yourpaperwork but, like my unpopular
opinion, also includes secrecyregarding your paperwork.
And but, like my unpopularopinion, also includes secrecy
around your wardrobe or yourbusiness plan as the, as the
title holder, but like any kindof secrecy of like, I'm going to
reveal my talent at statecompetition or I'm going to
(15:10):
reveal my gown at statecompetition.
Okay, I get some of that's justfun, because you're like, oh,
like, I'm just so excited toreveal it on the big stage and
yeah for sure, do that, that'ssuper fun.
But if it's because you don'twant to give your competition an
edge, like you got to assessyour mindset, like that's all I
(15:34):
can say.
If you are worried about theother girls that you are
competing with, stealingsomething from your paperwork,
or like having some kind of aleg up because they know the
depths of your business plan, orseeing your gown and somehow
finding a better gown, I don'treally know.
(15:55):
Again, I don't understand thementality.
I posted a TikTok.
No one can really no one hasexplained to me the big deal
behind the secrecy.
But, like, if those are thethings that you're worried about
, you need to switch up yourmindset, because there is how
like I'm just, I don't even knowI'm so speechless about this.
How like I'm just I don't evenknow I'm so speechless about
(16:17):
this.
How does someone else seeingyour gown affect the way that
you show up in that gown?
How does someone else seeingyour talent affect the way that
you show up performing thattalent?
And if they're going to show upwith something similar.
You're still both being judgedseparately and I mean, I don't
(16:41):
as a judge, I don't know thatI'd sit there and be like, oh my
gosh, like they stole eachother's talent.
I'm going to mark them down forthat.
I might think, oh, they comefrom the same dance studio or oh
, they have the samechoreographer, right, like, but
you're going to have differentsongs and different outfits and
different technique levels anddifferent performance.
Because you want to up level,not because somebody else is
(17:05):
doing something awesome andyou're feeling like beneath them
or less than, but truly becauseyou want to push yourself to do
(17:27):
more and to be better.
That's all you can do.
We really have to stop this.
Like competitive, catty energy.
That's what it is.
I'm going to say it it's catty.
That is catty energy.
Being secretive about yourwardrobe, your talent, your
paperwork, the stuff that you'redoing with your initiative,
like the things that you'redoing to fundraise, and if
(17:51):
somebody else is stealing theway that you're fundraising and
somehow that's going to makethem look better than you or
something I don't even know Likeit's just catty.
It is perpetuating the stigmaof pageant women.
I'm not here for it.
So stay in your own lane, stayfocused on you.
If somebody else steals fromyou, that's obviously their
(18:13):
problem, because they don't haveit in themselves to come up
with their own amazing ideas.
And also, like there's going tobe a lot of crossover in
business plans and CSIs orplatforms or serve initiatives.
Like there's going to be a lotof crossover because we have
similar topics.
We have similar kind of recipesfor what needs to be done, like
(18:36):
bringing on sponsors, bringingon partnerships, speaking to
students, speaking at communityevents.
Like that stuff's going tocross over, you know.
So like let's just not worry somuch about what other people
are doing.
We cannot control as MelRobbins says with the let them
theory we cannot control whatother people do think or say.
(18:57):
So we got to just let that go,we got to move on, we got to
stay focused on yourself.
And part of this is coming fromI know that that there are girls
that work with the same coachand I've heard that certain
coaches might share other girlspaperwork with them, or that it
all kind of starts to look thesame because they're working
with the same coach or whatever,and there's like all this angst
(19:17):
about other girls knowing whatyou're doing or like this and
I've heard this too where girlscome to me and want to coach
with me, but they don't wantanybody else to know that I'm
coaching them, or they don'twant to coach with somebody else
because they know most of thegirls in that state coach with
that person and they want, youknow, a leg up somehow by using
a different coach.
(19:38):
And I'm like stay in your lane,stop focusing on being
competitive and being betterthan the other girls and find a
coach, do the things, practicethe stuff that makes you better
overall, not just better thansomebody else.
That's a twisted mindset and weneed to move.
We need to move past it andgrow out of it.
(20:09):
Okay, this next one is I want topreface this by saying that I
am so grateful for sponsors ofvarious pageant systems.
I would not have been able tocompete the years that I did
without sponsors, withoutdonations.
They're incredible.
I would not have been able tocompete the years that I did
without sponsors, withoutdonations.
They're incredible.
I 100% believe in payingpatronage to sponsors of
organizations, paying them backor paying it forward for what
(20:31):
they have done for you, but weneed to move past this idea that
, in order to do well, in acompetition, you absolutely have
to use one of that title'ssponsors.
So whether it's a photographersponsor which, again, like I,
don't want any shade for this Iwholeheartedly appreciate
(20:51):
sponsors and would encouragegirls to go to the sponsors.
But if that style or that theamount just isn't in your budget
or it's just not a right fitfor you like you don't there's
no obligation and it's not goingto break your outcome just
because you don't use thephotographer sponsor or you
(21:13):
don't use the hair and makeupsponsor that weekend at
competition that is suppliedthrough the organization or that
they encourage you to use andinvest in.
I've heard of it Girls go andthey use one of the sponsors,
like, specifically, hair andmakeup.
I've heard of recently wherethe makeup just was not great
(21:33):
for them, it didn't work, andthey ended up just in tears
because they didn't feel goodabout the way they looked and,
in hindsight, wish they wouldhave just did what was right for
them in the first place, ratherthan feeling obligated as if it
was going to, as if they'replaying the game.
That's, I think that's thething is like feeling like you
need to play the game in orderto win, and I I understand too,
(21:56):
that there are different pageantsystems.
There are different areas ofthe state or of the country,
rather different states thatjust being more of a veteran to
the organization and having,quote unquote, paid your dues,
(22:23):
like I get that there may be acomponent to that.
So, within the scope ofunderstanding that, if it's
going to mess up yourperformance, your mindset, get
under your skin to use a sponsorthat isn't quite working for
you, that doesn't make sense foryou, don't do it.
That's the bottom line.
(22:43):
Just don't do it, even if youthink that it's going to somehow
set you back.
Sometimes you have to take thepath of least resistance.
So what I mean by that is ifyou are afraid that not working
with a sponsor is going toaffect the outcome because you
have to play kind of a game thispageant system is a little bit
(23:04):
more political and it's going tomess with your mindset.
If you don't use that sponsor,then yeah, that maybe is the
path of least resistance.
Even if you don't love the workof that sponsor, it still may
be the path of least resistanceif your mindset isn't going to
be as shaky because you ended upusing the sponsor and that was
a better decision for you.
However, if using that sponsoris going to mess with your
(23:24):
mindset because of the productthat you get from that sponsor
and that upsets you more, thenthat's certainly not the path of
least resistance.
The path of least resistance isactively choosing what works
better for you, and not using asponsor, using someone else or
doing your own hair and makeup.
So I think that that may bejust a really good rule of thumb
(23:45):
.
The path of least resistancedoesn't mean zero resistance.
It just means it's the lesserof two evils.
Let me flip my little note over.
Let me flip my little note over.
All right, let me hop on mysoapbox for some more.
Stop doing what everyone elseis doing and focus on what's
(24:10):
best for you.
Period, I said it, I said it.
I said it, I said it.
Comparison is not necessarilybad.
We can learn a lot through theuse of comparison.
We can learn what we like, whatwe don't like.
We can mimic so that we arereally gaining skills or better
understanding the industry, bylooking at the veterans of the
industry and doing more of whatthey're doing, so that we just
(24:30):
learn by practicing what we'reseeing.
We have done it our entirelives.
We will always do it.
It's just human nature.
Comparison is a natural part ofour human nature.
However, if you're doing whatsomebody else is doing because
that's what led them to successand that's the only reason
you're doing it, and you're nottaking a step back and wondering
, hmm, is this my style?
Is this something that I woulddo if I didn't have any
(24:53):
influence from the outside?
If you're doing it solelybecause you think that's what's
going to get you the win, thenyeah, you might win, but is it
worth it?
Are you really staying true toyourself?
Are you going to look back andbe like, oh, I kind of wish I
would have shown up as me.
Are you being the best versionof yourself by trying to be
somebody else?
No, you're trying to be thebest version of that other
(25:15):
person, not the best version ofyou.
It's impossible to be the bestversion of you if you're trying
to be just like somebody else.
Oh, that's important.
Let me say it again it isimpossible to be the best
version of you if you are tryingto be just like somebody else.
So, when it comes to hairstyles,I know that we've got like the
(25:38):
swoop pageant swoop, but maybeyou look better with the center
part.
Or maybe you have really curly,like tight curly hair, but
you're trying to straighten itand do the big curls and the
bouffant curls.
But first of all, that soundsexhausting.
I know that is a lot of work.
That's a.
I know that is a lot of work,that's a lot of product, that's
(26:00):
a lot of time that you have toput into it.
But maybe you look stunning andyou actually stand out with
your natural hair, of course,elevated and well taken care of,
but still natural to you.
Or like if you're trying to doa makeup trend but it's really
just not working with your bonestructure or with your coloring,
(26:21):
or it's not really emphasizingyour eyes, or it's drawing all
the attention to your lipsinstead of someone like making
eye contact with you because thecolor is too bright on you and
you actually need more of aneutral nude color.
And you actually need more of aneutral nude color.
Like you have to do somepractice and get some feedback
on what looks best for you.
(26:43):
We don't need to show up all ofus looking exactly the same in
order to succeed in pageants.
In fact, if you look at thefinalists at national
competitions, you'll see for themost part, I mean especially
Miss America this year.
Everyone had a pretty differentlook.
Each look was unique to them.
Now that doesn't meaneveryone's going to love
everyone's look.
Not, everyone's going to loveyour look, period, and that's
(27:07):
okay.
That's something we all justhave to be okay with and just
own it.
All right, let's dive into somelike unpopular opinions and pet
peeves of mine for interview.
These are my last two for thispodcast.
So the second to last thingthat is a pet peeve of mine and
(27:30):
maybe an unpopular opinion, it'sspinning everything back to
your platform or everything backto your CSI and interview.
Or, if you're getting anonstage question, if they are
not asking you about yourinitiative or your platform,
answer the question directly asto what they're asking you about
.
You should not be spinningeverything back to your platform
(27:52):
.
Because you are dynamic, you aremultifaceted.
There is so much more valuethat you bring to the table than
just your initiative, thethings that you've done with
that initiative or the thingsthat you want to do with that
initiative.
Judges only remember 5% to 7%of the words that you say anyway
.
Judges only remember 5% to 7%of the words that you say anyway
.
So make sure that you aredelivering personality, and you
(28:19):
can't always deliver thedifferent sides of your
personality by talking about thesame dang thing throughout your
interview.
So switch it up.
Answer each question directly,have more talking points, the
things that you want to talkabout and share with the judges
that are coming from your heartand coming from your knowledge
and passion and unique ideasabout the world and what you
want to accomplish.
(28:39):
It should not all come back toyour platform.
To me, that is a very likebeginner's strategy.
A beginner strategy forinterview is like when you are
first starting out withinterview and learning how to
interview and learning how toanswer questions.
It's a pretty solid strategy tospin things back to your
(29:00):
platform, especially if that'ssomething that you feel
confident and comfortabletalking about.
But as you grow and as youmature in your communication
skills, you should be able toprovide a lot more depth within
your interview outside of yourinitiative.
And then, finally, if you areone of my clients listening that
(29:22):
I have hounded you for aboutthis, I'm sure you're going to
laugh at this.
I personally really can't standit when someone starts a
sentence with as someone who andthen goes into describing
(29:43):
themselves and then goes intomaking a point about what that
means to them, as someone who apoint about what that means to
them.
As someone who has acommunications degree, as
someone who has spent the lastfour years coaching pageant
women, as someone who has apodcast, as someone who is a
wife and a dog mom of two.
It's appropriate sometimes.
(30:06):
I don't think there's anythingwrong with it sometimes, but
it's when it's overused or whenit's used in ways that make you
sound pompous that I just can'thandle it.
And I see it so much in TikToks, in onstage question, in mock
interviews.
I'm hearing this as someone who,quite frequently, can you just
(30:28):
please say I'm a coach, I'vebeen coaching for four years, I
have a podcast and with that,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or I am a wife and a dog mom oftwo and because of that I am
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or I feel blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, like blah, blah,
(30:53):
blah, blah, like it should not.
Oh, please just catch yourself.
To me, this is almost as bad assaying ums way too frequently,
to the point where it'sdistracting, using the word like
every other word or any otherfiller words, as someone who has
that level of annoyance to me.
To me it is not solidprofessional communication Again
(31:16):
every once in a while.
I think it's called for and itmakes perfect sense because I
hear it in national news,interviews and stuff too.
But when it's overused,especially in pageantry, you're
using it as a way to elevateyourself or make yourself sound
awesome in some way, or proveyour point or assert that you're
(31:36):
very knowledgeable in this area.
Like I don't know it.
Just it gives me the ick and Idon't know if anybody else feels
that way.
Please let me know.
I may be the only person thatnotices this, but it became very
apparent for me, I think, lastyear and maybe the year before,
within my client calls andespecially in our group calls
when we were doing mockinterviews together, that I was
(31:58):
hearing a lot of this as someonewho and it's just not necessary
and it distracts me at leastfrom the point that you're
trying to get to.
So I don't think you need touse as someone who you can just
say I am or I have a degree in.
So that's my list of unpopularopinions and things that irk me
(32:20):
and just are generally petpeeves of mine.
So I want to hear some of yours.
Please share with me.
Like am I way off base, like Ialso want to hear the other side
of things.
If you think that it's reallyimportant to keep your paperwork
secret, please tell me why.
Find me on TikTok and, like,explain to me why it's a big
(32:43):
deal.
I'm genuinely asking.
I don't want to argue, I reallywant to know, kind of, the
reasoning behind this.
Yeah, so, I'm always wanting tolearn, but in the past four
years and then ever since reallycompeting you know, starting to
compete almost two decades agothese are just some of the
(33:03):
things that have lined up in mybrain, of things that bother me.
So anyway, with that, I hopethis was at least entertaining
for you.
Take it or leave it.
If you really believe in usingsponsors to do well, great.
If you want to spend an arm anda leg on coaching because it'll
give you a level up, awesome.
If you absolutely need to buythe couture gown, great.
(33:26):
If you want to focus so, somuch on your personal branding
that you, you know, are justreally honed in on that great.
If you really feel the need todo what everybody else is doing
in order to succeed, awesome,like you have the freedom to do
whatever you want and it's notgoing to bother me any in terms
(33:46):
of like.
It's not going to affect mylife any.
Obviously it bothers me becauseI otherwise wouldn't have
talked about it today, but itdoesn't affect my life.
So you do you.
I'm going to cheer you on nomatter what, but I'm always
going to encourage you to be thebest version of you and do the
things that make sense for you,protect your peace, protect your
energy and show up vulnerableand authentic, fearlessly in
(34:11):
everything you do.
Okay, I don't know what I'mgonna talk about next week.
If anybody has any ideas orthings that are really relevant
to you right now and you'd loveto hear me go off on a tangent
about it for about a half hour,let me know.
Find me on Instagram at Sashand Soul.
Otherwise, I'm on TikTok atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
I'm also on Instagram atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
(34:33):
I'm also on Instagram atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
So reach out, let me know whatyou think Would love to hear
from you and I will talk to younext week.
All right, bye.
Hello, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
This is episode number 59.
And, guys, it's a beautiful day.
I'm in just like a really,really good mood today.
I just feel like things arewonderful, despite all the stuff
that we may be seeing everytime that we log into TikTok and
are scrolling, I'm just in myown little world, feeling pretty
(00:24):
good today.
So I hope that you are doingthe same thing for you Find time
to take a break from all of thenoise and just listen to the
quiet, find things to begrateful for, finding
appreciation and just reallyelevate your spirits.
I've got clients that have beentalking about how much they are
minimizing their time on socialmedia, and I just, I really
(00:45):
applaud that.
I've got clients that have beentalking about how much they are
minimizing their time on socialmedia and I just, I really
applaud that.
I've got one that has an appthat monitors like, literally
like only allows her to go onsocial media for a certain
amount of time a day.
And then I've got another thatI don't remember what she called
it, but it's a device that shetaps her phone on every time she
leaves the house so that whenshe goes to school, she
literally cannot access thingson her phone that are social
(01:07):
media related or outside ofanything, that she would
normally use for her classes orwork or whatnot, and then when
she gets home she can tap thedevice again and then access
those accounts, and I justthought that is so brilliant.
One of the things that I knowwe're all very aware of is time
management, but one of thethings we are less focused on is
our energy management andfocusing on the things that give
(01:29):
us energy versus the thingsthat steal our energy.
The energy sucks, so to speakand also just knowing the tools
to kind of take care of yourselfwhen your energy is depleted,
so that you can work towardsrefilling it.
But I think that is anexcellent strategy minimizing
time on social media, minimizingscreen time, taking
(01:50):
opportunities to be outside inthe sunshine, to be speaking
with people face to face ratherthan hearing all the noise.
So with that man, I don't know,I'm just I'm in such a good
mood.
So today we're doing a littlebit more lighthearted.
Podcast episode today.
It's been pretty heavy.
Last week I talked about how toavoid burnout, how best to take
care of yourself, especiallyduring a busy local season.
(02:13):
The week before that I wastalking about just the weight of
the world right now and justfocusing on human dignity and
being good people.
And that was all, of course, inthe wake of so much of the
national trauma that we'reexperiencing right now.
But today I was like you know,let's just lighten up the mood a
(02:34):
little bit, I'm feeling good, Ijust want this to be a fun
episode.
And I was talking to my intern,sharon, yesterday.
I was like what, what do youthink I should talk about?
And so we got on the topic ofunpopular opinions.
Some of my unpopular opinionswere more so.
They're not even unpopularopinions necessarily, they're
more so, like just my pet peevesabout things in pageants.
(02:57):
So I'm just going to go on abit of a rampage today about
some of the things that irk mewhen I'm talking with my clients
, when I'm seeing it online,when I'm hearing it through the
grapevine, just the things thatI'm like can we just not?
Can we please not?
So I have a list here on alittle sticky note, and as I was
writing my notes I actually hadto flip the note over, and I've
(03:20):
got some notes on the back ofmy sticky note too, which I feel
like is like very wrong.
Right, like that's the stickyside.
You can't see the back.
So, anyway, I digress, so let'skick this off with.
So.
First thing Sharon said to mewas maybe do a podcast on
personal branding and I was like, oh, that was my immediate
(03:43):
reaction when she suggested Italk about personal branding and
I get.
Personal branding, I think isreally important.
I have friends that areinfluencers.
They are developing theirpersonal brand as part of their
business.
As influencers, I have to focuson my brand within Fearlessly
Authentic, and my brand withSash and Soul and being really
(04:04):
consistent with that.
But this idea of building yourbrand as a pageant title holder
or a pageant contestant is likecall me old school.
It's just a little relativelynewer for me Back when I was
competing oh, I'm going to agemyself.
So back in the mid 2000s to2010s, when I was competing,
(04:27):
like personal branding wasn't asmuch of a buzzword, like that
branding word wasn't as much ofa buzzword, partly because
social media was really startingto kick off.
You guys, when I startedcompeting, we actually had rules
that we were not allowed to usesocial media, and how times
have changed.
It's wild.
Like now it's very muchexpected of you and oftentimes
(04:47):
like even in the job descriptionof the title holder using
social media.
So I understand why branding isa big deal now, and I
understand because there's allthis emphasis about you know,
being a title holder anddeveloping your personal brand
because you are an influencerwithin this pageant system.
(05:07):
I also understand the conceptof personal branding when it
comes to your messaging behindyour platform or your initiative
, or just your messaging to setyou apart as a title holder and
being consistent.
But here's my take.
Here is my maybe unpopularopinion on personal branding If
(05:29):
you are doing the deep work tounderstand who you are, what
you're all about, what you'repassionate about, what you're
interested in, what you'reknowledgeable about, what you're
skilled at, what your valuesare, that you're bringing to the
table, if you are doing thatdeep work to understand who you
are and consistently showing upin that light, that's your brand
(05:49):
.
There it is.
So, when it comes to developinga brand, from my perspective
it's more so about uncoveringyour brand and then being really
consistent about who you are,and then, of course, we can get
into the weeds of okay, well,what about branding in terms of
coloring or font, like thevisual branding, or like
(06:10):
wardrobe and styling and all ofthat.
Like yeah, we could absolutelyget into the weeds about that.
That's the fun stuff, though,right, like that's the glam,
that's the uncovering yourunique personal style, the
hairstyle, the makeup, thewardrobe that makes sense for
you, that is flattering for you,and you can certainly hone in
and develop that as part of yourbrand.
(06:32):
But have fun with that.
I don't think that there is aperfect recipe for branding.
If you were to work with me, ifI were your coach, the way that
we would be approaching yourbrand is everything that I had
said at the start of this, whichis let's uncover exactly who
you are.
Let's get really clear aboutyour messaging behind your
(06:52):
initiative or your platform.
Let's hone in on your strengths.
What are your inner qualities?
Let's work through any limitingbeliefs that are holding you
back.
Let's really lean into andappreciate the things that make
you different, that separate you.
Let's build up your inherentleadership skills, your solid
communication skills, like thoseare the things we would be
(07:13):
focusing on as part of yourbrand so that you are showing up
consistently.
So my unpopular opinion aboutpersonal branding and developing
your brand is woof, like justknow yourself, know yourself and
show up genuinely andauthentically as you, and it
will evolve.
A brand is not something thatyou develop overnight.
(07:36):
It is a long-term, consistentapproach to putting yourself out
there authentically, vulnerably, just real, just you, all right
, and your brand is going toshift and it's going to ebb and
flow.
I mean, I've changed.
I think a year ago I overhauledmy logo for Fearlessly
Authentic and I'm constantlylike taking market feedback and
(07:57):
adjusting things to make surethat my programming is doing
everything that I want it to bedoing and is valuable for
consumers.
So you know, it's just a littledifferent when you're talking
about, like, your own personalbrand as a human being versus
branding an organization or abusiness, or even as an
influencer that has a brand,because you have brand deals
(08:18):
with other companies and theyare investing in your brand.
So I could go on, but I thinkthat I would be beating a dead
horse, which we don't want to do.
So my next maybe unpopularopinion, more so, just like,
from a very personal standpoint,my own values and morals is
(08:39):
that you do not need to breakthe bank investing in a coaching
program.
There are coaching programs outthere that charge what they're
worth and they provide you morevalue than what you're even
investing in.
That's the kind of coachingprogram that you should invest
in, and there are coachingprograms out there that charge
an arm and a leg and are underproviding value for what you're
(09:04):
spending.
You do not need to spend topdollar.
Just because you spend topdollar does not mean that it is
the best coaching program foryou.
Just because it's a coachingprogram that you've seen a lot
of other girls doing does notmean that it's a coaching
program for you.
You need to do the research,find a coach that you vibe with,
find a coaching program thatmeets all of your needs to
(09:29):
elevate you, the things that youknow you need to be focusing on
in order to reach that nextlevel and shop around Truly,
truly, shop around For a longtime.
Please, I beg of you, do notstick with that coach purely out
of loyalty if you're notactually getting something out
of it.
Please and I tell my clientsthat too and I've had clients
(09:51):
that step away and go workingwith other coaching programs and
like truly, truly no skin offmy back.
You do you.
I am not one size fits all.
I know that I am a little nicheand I like it that way.
I'm not going to work withevery single girl that I have a
consult with, and that's okay.
(10:12):
I think that is the beautybehind offering consultations is
to explore what works for youand what doesn't.
But it really bothers me and itbreaks my heart when I hear
about girls, when I haveconsultations, that have
invested in a coaching program.
Maybe they went on like aweekend retreat or they did like
(10:33):
I don't know how you knowcertain number of weeks or
number of months that you knowwas thousands of dollars and
what they received was cookiecutter same package that
everybody else is getting.
If that works for you, ifthat's the kind of program you
need and you find so much valuein that that you don't even care
(10:54):
how much you spend, great, gofor it.
But don't feel obligated.
Don't feel like you are notgoing to succeed if you don't
invest that amount of money in aprogram, especially if it's
just not quite everything thatyou're looking for or everything
that you need to help you excelpersonally.
So I say this as a coach.
(11:16):
I feel like this is why it'smaybe like crazy for me to be
saying but don't break the bank,please, like.
If coaching is going to put youin debt, don't do it.
Please don't do it.
There are plenty of resourcesout there that will help elevate
your game, that will helpelevate you, that will help
elevate your skills so that youcan succeed, that aren't going
(11:38):
to cost an arm and a leg, thataren't going to cause you so
much stress because of thefinancial side of things.
I literally just had a clienttext me yesterday and say I'm so
sorry, like I got to take astep back because of finances
right now.
Totally, please put like yourwellbeing first.
Coaching is not a necessity.
(11:58):
It's awesome, like as a coach,I can say that I worked with a
coach who I love to completelyturn the game around for me, but
it's not a necessity, Okay.
So please don't think that youneed to break the bank in a
coaching program in order to win.
That's another one I couldprobably do an entire episode on
, but let's move on.
(12:21):
This is also a budget centeredarea.
You do not need to have themost expensive dress and, in
fact, a couture gown is isn'tnecessarily the best gown just
because it's couture.
If it doesn't fit you, quiteright.
If it walks really weirdbecause it's too heavy or
(12:43):
there's all this beading that'sgetting in your way, or if the
train is kind of weird orwhatever.
Just because it's couture andit looks amazing under lights
does not mean that it's the bestdress for you.
So you don't need to spendthousands of dollars on a gown,
especially for locals, you guys?
Oh my gosh, please.
This is an unpopular opinion,for sure, for sure, for sure, do
(13:05):
you?
If you've got the budget andyou want a new gown for locals
and that's fun for you, yeah, gofor it, because pageants are
glam and that's awesome.
But please, just recycle an oldgown.
I think I did purchase a newgown I think it was only $500
for my last local in the MissAmerica organization the year
(13:25):
that I won Miss Wisconsin.
I did buy a new gown.
I had the budget for it.
I was interested in havingsomething new.
It had been a couple of yearssince I competed.
I wanted something fresh.
But in every other competitionI recycled.
I even wore my Miss Wisconsingown.
That I won in was a gown that Ihad borrowed to wear for one of
(13:45):
the crowning ceremonies duringLaura Kepler's homecoming in
Wisconsin.
When she crowned me MissWisconsin as her successor, I
wore the exact same gown.
I did not feel the need to weara new gown Again, it's fun.
It's so fun If you've got thebudget or you have a sponsor or
whatever great.
Find a new gown, that's awesome.
(14:07):
Or if there's somethingdrastically wrong with your last
gown, sure, but it is notnecessary to have a new gown
every single time.
It's just really not.
So find something that worksfor you.
Find something that you'recomfortable and confident in.
It's always going to be newjudges Locals.
You may have some crossover ofsome people that are in the
pageant industry and have seenyou compete before, but I had
(14:28):
that and they didn't judge mepoorly because I wore that gown
at state before.
It's completely fine to recycleand reuse.
So the most expensive dressisn't always the best dress for
you and it's definitely notnecessary.
All right, I made a TikTok aboutthis yesterday and no one has
(14:48):
commented to tell me what thebig deal of this is.
But secrecy regarding yourpaperwork but, like my unpopular
opinion, also includes secrecyregarding your paperwork.
And but, like my unpopularopinion, also includes secrecy
around your wardrobe or yourbusiness plan as the, as the
title holder, but like any kindof secrecy of like, I'm going to
reveal my talent at statecompetition or I'm going to
(15:10):
reveal my gown at statecompetition.
Okay, I get some of that's justfun, because you're like, oh,
like, I'm just so excited toreveal it on the big stage and
yeah for sure, do that, that'ssuper fun.
But if it's because you don'twant to give your competition an
edge, like you got to assessyour mindset, like that's all I
(15:34):
can say.
If you are worried about theother girls that you are
competing with, stealingsomething from your paperwork,
or like having some kind of aleg up because they know the
depths of your business plan, orseeing your gown and somehow
finding a better gown, I don'treally know.
(15:55):
Again, I don't understand thementality.
I posted a TikTok.
No one can really no one hasexplained to me the big deal
behind the secrecy.
But, like, if those are thethings that you're worried about
, you need to switch up yourmindset, because there is how
like I'm just, I don't even knowI'm so speechless about this.
How like I'm just I don't evenknow I'm so speechless about
(16:17):
this.
How does someone else seeingyour gown affect the way that
you show up in that gown?
How does someone else seeingyour talent affect the way that
you show up performing thattalent?
And if they're going to show upwith something similar.
You're still both being judgedseparately and I mean, I don't
(16:41):
as a judge, I don't know thatI'd sit there and be like, oh my
gosh, like they stole eachother's talent.
I'm going to mark them down forthat.
I might think, oh, they comefrom the same dance studio or oh
, they have the samechoreographer, right, like, but
you're going to have differentsongs and different outfits and
different technique levels anddifferent performance.
Because you want to up level,not because somebody else is
(17:05):
doing something awesome andyou're feeling like beneath them
or less than, but truly becauseyou want to push yourself to do
(17:27):
more and to be better.
That's all you can do.
We really have to stop this.
Like competitive, catty energy.
That's what it is.
I'm going to say it it's catty.
That is catty energy.
Being secretive about yourwardrobe, your talent, your
paperwork, the stuff that you'redoing with your initiative,
like the things that you'redoing to fundraise, and if
(17:51):
somebody else is stealing theway that you're fundraising and
somehow that's going to makethem look better than you or
something I don't even know Likeit's just catty.
It is perpetuating the stigmaof pageant women.
I'm not here for it.
So stay in your own lane, stayfocused on you.
If somebody else steals fromyou, that's obviously their
(18:13):
problem, because they don't haveit in themselves to come up
with their own amazing ideas.
And also, like there's going tobe a lot of crossover in
business plans and CSIs orplatforms or serve initiatives.
Like there's going to be a lotof crossover because we have
similar topics.
We have similar kind of recipesfor what needs to be done, like
(18:36):
bringing on sponsors, bringingon partnerships, speaking to
students, speaking at communityevents.
Like that stuff's going tocross over, you know.
So like let's just not worry somuch about what other people
are doing.
We cannot control as MelRobbins says with the let them
theory we cannot control whatother people do think or say.
(18:57):
So we got to just let that go,we got to move on, we got to
stay focused on yourself.
And part of this is coming fromI know that that there are girls
that work with the same coachand I've heard that certain
coaches might share other girlspaperwork with them, or that it
all kind of starts to look thesame because they're working
with the same coach or whatever,and there's like all this angst
(19:17):
about other girls knowing whatyou're doing or like this and
I've heard this too where girlscome to me and want to coach
with me, but they don't wantanybody else to know that I'm
coaching them, or they don'twant to coach with somebody else
because they know most of thegirls in that state coach with
that person and they want, youknow, a leg up somehow by using
a different coach.
(19:38):
And I'm like stay in your lane,stop focusing on being
competitive and being betterthan the other girls and find a
coach, do the things, practicethe stuff that makes you better
overall, not just better thansomebody else.
That's a twisted mindset and weneed to move.
We need to move past it andgrow out of it.
(20:09):
Okay, this next one is I want topreface this by saying that I
am so grateful for sponsors ofvarious pageant systems.
I would not have been able tocompete the years that I did
without sponsors, withoutdonations.
They're incredible.
I would not have been able tocompete the years that I did
without sponsors, withoutdonations.
They're incredible.
I 100% believe in payingpatronage to sponsors of
organizations, paying them backor paying it forward for what
(20:31):
they have done for you, but weneed to move past this idea that
, in order to do well, in acompetition, you absolutely have
to use one of that title'ssponsors.
So whether it's a photographersponsor which, again, like I,
don't want any shade for this Iwholeheartedly appreciate
(20:51):
sponsors and would encouragegirls to go to the sponsors.
But if that style or that theamount just isn't in your budget
or it's just not a right fitfor you like you don't there's
no obligation and it's not goingto break your outcome just
because you don't use thephotographer sponsor or you
(21:13):
don't use the hair and makeupsponsor that weekend at
competition that is suppliedthrough the organization or that
they encourage you to use andinvest in.
I've heard of it Girls go andthey use one of the sponsors,
like, specifically, hair andmakeup.
I've heard of recently wherethe makeup just was not great
(21:33):
for them, it didn't work, andthey ended up just in tears
because they didn't feel goodabout the way they looked and,
in hindsight, wish they wouldhave just did what was right for
them in the first place, ratherthan feeling obligated as if it
was going to, as if they'replaying the game.
That's, I think that's thething is like feeling like you
need to play the game in orderto win, and I I understand too,
(21:56):
that there are different pageantsystems.
There are different areas ofthe state or of the country,
rather different states thatjust being more of a veteran to
the organization and having,quote unquote, paid your dues,
(22:23):
like I get that there may be acomponent to that.
So, within the scope ofunderstanding that, if it's
going to mess up yourperformance, your mindset, get
under your skin to use a sponsorthat isn't quite working for
you, that doesn't make sense foryou, don't do it.
That's the bottom line.
(22:43):
Just don't do it, even if youthink that it's going to somehow
set you back.
Sometimes you have to take thepath of least resistance.
So what I mean by that is ifyou are afraid that not working
with a sponsor is going toaffect the outcome because you
have to play kind of a game thispageant system is a little bit
(23:04):
more political and it's going tomess with your mindset.
If you don't use that sponsor,then yeah, that maybe is the
path of least resistance.
Even if you don't love the workof that sponsor, it still may
be the path of least resistanceif your mindset isn't going to
be as shaky because you ended upusing the sponsor and that was
a better decision for you.
However, if using that sponsoris going to mess with your
(23:24):
mindset because of the productthat you get from that sponsor
and that upsets you more, thenthat's certainly not the path of
least resistance.
The path of least resistance isactively choosing what works
better for you, and not using asponsor, using someone else or
doing your own hair and makeup.
So I think that that may bejust a really good rule of thumb
(23:45):
.
The path of least resistancedoesn't mean zero resistance.
It just means it's the lesserof two evils.
Let me flip my little note over.
Let me flip my little note over.
All right, let me hop on mysoapbox for some more.
Stop doing what everyone elseis doing and focus on what's
(24:10):
best for you.
Period, I said it, I said it.
I said it, I said it.
Comparison is not necessarilybad.
We can learn a lot through theuse of comparison.
We can learn what we like, whatwe don't like.
We can mimic so that we arereally gaining skills or better
understanding the industry, bylooking at the veterans of the
industry and doing more of whatthey're doing, so that we just
(24:30):
learn by practicing what we'reseeing.
We have done it our entirelives.
We will always do it.
It's just human nature.
Comparison is a natural part ofour human nature.
However, if you're doing whatsomebody else is doing because
that's what led them to successand that's the only reason
you're doing it, and you're nottaking a step back and wondering
, hmm, is this my style?
Is this something that I woulddo if I didn't have any
(24:53):
influence from the outside?
If you're doing it solelybecause you think that's what's
going to get you the win, thenyeah, you might win, but is it
worth it?
Are you really staying true toyourself?
Are you going to look back andbe like, oh, I kind of wish I
would have shown up as me.
Are you being the best versionof yourself by trying to be
somebody else?
No, you're trying to be thebest version of that other
(25:15):
person, not the best version ofyou.
It's impossible to be the bestversion of you if you're trying
to be just like somebody else.
Oh, that's important.
Let me say it again it isimpossible to be the best
version of you if you are tryingto be just like somebody else.
So, when it comes to hairstyles,I know that we've got like the
(25:38):
swoop pageant swoop, but maybeyou look better with the center
part.
Or maybe you have really curly,like tight curly hair, but
you're trying to straighten itand do the big curls and the
bouffant curls.
But first of all, that soundsexhausting.
I know that is a lot of work.
That's a.
I know that is a lot of work,that's a lot of product, that's
(26:00):
a lot of time that you have toput into it.
But maybe you look stunning andyou actually stand out with
your natural hair, of course,elevated and well taken care of,
but still natural to you.
Or like if you're trying to doa makeup trend but it's really
just not working with your bonestructure or with your coloring,
(26:21):
or it's not really emphasizingyour eyes, or it's drawing all
the attention to your lipsinstead of someone like making
eye contact with you because thecolor is too bright on you and
you actually need more of aneutral nude color.
And you actually need more of aneutral nude color.
Like you have to do somepractice and get some feedback
on what looks best for you.
(26:43):
We don't need to show up all ofus looking exactly the same in
order to succeed in pageants.
In fact, if you look at thefinalists at national
competitions, you'll see for themost part, I mean especially
Miss America this year.
Everyone had a pretty differentlook.
Each look was unique to them.
Now that doesn't meaneveryone's going to love
everyone's look.
Not, everyone's going to loveyour look, period, and that's
(27:07):
okay.
That's something we all justhave to be okay with and just
own it.
All right, let's dive into somelike unpopular opinions and pet
peeves of mine for interview.
These are my last two for thispodcast.
So the second to last thingthat is a pet peeve of mine and
(27:30):
maybe an unpopular opinion, it'sspinning everything back to
your platform or everything backto your CSI and interview.
Or, if you're getting anonstage question, if they are
not asking you about yourinitiative or your platform,
answer the question directly asto what they're asking you about
.
You should not be spinningeverything back to your platform
(27:52):
.
Because you are dynamic, you aremultifaceted.
There is so much more valuethat you bring to the table than
just your initiative, thethings that you've done with
that initiative or the thingsthat you want to do with that
initiative.
Judges only remember 5% to 7%of the words that you say anyway
.
Judges only remember 5% to 7%of the words that you say anyway
.
So make sure that you aredelivering personality, and you
(28:19):
can't always deliver thedifferent sides of your
personality by talking about thesame dang thing throughout your
interview.
So switch it up.
Answer each question directly,have more talking points, the
things that you want to talkabout and share with the judges
that are coming from your heartand coming from your knowledge
and passion and unique ideasabout the world and what you
want to accomplish.
(28:39):
It should not all come back toyour platform.
To me, that is a very likebeginner's strategy.
A beginner strategy forinterview is like when you are
first starting out withinterview and learning how to
interview and learning how toanswer questions.
It's a pretty solid strategy tospin things back to your
(29:00):
platform, especially if that'ssomething that you feel
confident and comfortabletalking about.
But as you grow and as youmature in your communication
skills, you should be able toprovide a lot more depth within
your interview outside of yourinitiative.
And then, finally, if you areone of my clients listening that
(29:22):
I have hounded you for aboutthis, I'm sure you're going to
laugh at this.
I personally really can't standit when someone starts a
sentence with as someone who andthen goes into describing
(29:43):
themselves and then goes intomaking a point about what that
means to them, as someone who apoint about what that means to
them.
As someone who has acommunications degree, as
someone who has spent the lastfour years coaching pageant
women, as someone who has apodcast, as someone who is a
wife and a dog mom of two.
It's appropriate sometimes.
(30:06):
I don't think there's anythingwrong with it sometimes, but
it's when it's overused or whenit's used in ways that make you
sound pompous that I just can'thandle it.
And I see it so much in TikToks, in onstage question, in mock
interviews.
I'm hearing this as someone who,quite frequently, can you just
(30:28):
please say I'm a coach, I'vebeen coaching for four years, I
have a podcast and with that,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or I am a wife and a dog mom oftwo and because of that I am
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or I feel blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, like blah, blah,
(30:53):
blah, blah, like it should not.
Oh, please just catch yourself.
To me, this is almost as bad assaying ums way too frequently,
to the point where it'sdistracting, using the word like
every other word or any otherfiller words, as someone who has
that level of annoyance to me.
To me it is not solidprofessional communication Again
(31:16):
every once in a while.
I think it's called for and itmakes perfect sense because I
hear it in national news,interviews and stuff too.
But when it's overused,especially in pageantry, you're
using it as a way to elevateyourself or make yourself sound
awesome in some way, or proveyour point or assert that you're
(31:36):
very knowledgeable in this area.
Like I don't know it.
Just it gives me the ick and Idon't know if anybody else feels
that way.
Please let me know.
I may be the only person thatnotices this, but it became very
apparent for me, I think, lastyear and maybe the year before,
within my client calls andespecially in our group calls
when we were doing mockinterviews together, that I was
(31:58):
hearing a lot of this as someonewho and it's just not necessary
and it distracts me at leastfrom the point that you're
trying to get to.
So I don't think you need touse as someone who you can just
say I am or I have a degree in.
So that's my list of unpopularopinions and things that irk me
(32:20):
and just are generally petpeeves of mine.
So I want to hear some of yours.
Please share with me.
Like am I way off base, like Ialso want to hear the other side
of things.
If you think that it's reallyimportant to keep your paperwork
secret, please tell me why.
Find me on TikTok and, like,explain to me why it's a big
(32:43):
deal.
I'm genuinely asking.
I don't want to argue, I reallywant to know, kind of, the
reasoning behind this.
Yeah, so, I'm always wanting tolearn, but in the past four
years and then ever since reallycompeting you know, starting to
compete almost two decades agothese are just some of the
(33:03):
things that have lined up in mybrain, of things that bother me.
So anyway, with that, I hopethis was at least entertaining
for you.
Take it or leave it.
If you really believe in usingsponsors to do well, great.
If you want to spend an arm anda leg on coaching because it'll
give you a level up, awesome.
If you absolutely need to buythe couture gown, great.
(33:26):
If you want to focus so, somuch on your personal branding
that you, you know, are justreally honed in on that great.
If you really feel the need todo what everybody else is doing
in order to succeed, awesome,like you have the freedom to do
whatever you want and it's notgoing to bother me any in terms
(33:46):
of like.
It's not going to affect mylife any.
Obviously it bothers me becauseI otherwise wouldn't have
talked about it today, but itdoesn't affect my life.
So you do you.
I'm going to cheer you on nomatter what, but I'm always
going to encourage you to be thebest version of you and do the
things that make sense for you,protect your peace, protect your
energy and show up vulnerableand authentic, fearlessly in
(34:11):
everything you do.
Okay, I don't know what I'mgonna talk about next week.
If anybody has any ideas orthings that are really relevant
to you right now and you'd loveto hear me go off on a tangent
about it for about a half hour,let me know.
Find me on Instagram at Sashand Soul.
Otherwise, I'm on TikTok atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
I'm also on Instagram atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
(34:33):
I'm also on Instagram atFearlessly Authentic Coach.
So reach out, let me know whatyou think Would love to hear
from you and I will talk to younext week.
All right, bye.
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