May 29, 2022 • 33 mins
In this Episode, Should Kate Travel for Sex, our SASSover50 Sexy And Single Sisters break down Kate's dilemma to travel or not to travel, to share time with a "great guy", but someone who just misses the mark in Kate's wishlist. Kate shares what specifically the issue is and why it may be a non-negotiable, or is it? Let us know what YOU THINK after listening to the Pod YES she should, or NO, she shouldn't.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:06):
Welcome to another episode of Sexy And Single
Sisters over 50! Welcome toanother episode! Kate has some
interesting information she'sgoing to be sharing. And of
course, we have our lovely Daniwith us today. And I'm Elle
welcome listeners. So go ahead,Kate, you're gonna take this
away.
(00:27):
So I actually need some datingadvice from you, lady. So here's
my question to you. Alright, soa little background, I was
talking to this guy that liveson the other coast of Florida.
And we met he came over and wemet, and I don't know exactly if
(00:48):
He's my type. So here's myquestion to you. I'm supposed to
go see him tomorrow for twodays. But he's way lighter than
my normal type of guy. So youguys know my type is usually
about six foot or taller. Yeah.
And he they're usually you know,one. Right now they're not know.
So there's like at least sixfoot and at least 190 pounds to
(01:13):
210 is usually my type. So bigboys is what I like. And so this
guy when I met him, I thought itwas about 175 pounds and six
foot tall. So taller you. So I'mfive foot eight, and I'm six
foot in heels. Right. SoI mean, just to put it into
(01:35):
perspective, it's not that youare not wanting like have
something against smaller guys,you just are a very tall woman
who kind of it would look odd tohave two very thin people next
to each other. I mean, I'm justpicturing Yeah, like, yeah, I
get it.
Yeah. Yeah. And then so that'skind of so we he left, and he's
(01:56):
such a nice guy, girls, I He'sreally nice, like, and he's a
good hearted, genuine guy thatevery woman is searching for. He
ain't that guy. You know, I justdon't know if he's physically my
case. And here's so we gotchatting this week. And he
finally told me how much heweighs. And I thought it was
175. He's actually 165. And togive you an idea, I'm five foot
(02:21):
eight. And I'm 145. Okay, so I'min shape. You know, I'm fit
right? In all that. So, buta little more, but how many
inches? How tall is he?
He's four inches taller.
He's six feet tall and 20pounds. Only 20 pounds heavier.
Wooh,yeah, that's, that's a runner's
body. But now, Kate, you happento mention to me that he kind of
brought up it's almost like hesensed that you had a
(02:44):
disappointment about it. Youdidn't say anything? I'm sure
because it was a first date. Buthow do you think he was? That's
a very unusual thing for a guyto kind of come back and say,
you know, hey, I'm trying todidn't you tell me he mentioned
something to you?
Yeah. So he, so after he left,and a few days after he
(03:04):
basically, you know, he could,you know, in our conversations,
basically, since that, you know,he may not be my body type, he
may not be my body type. And hedid ask me that question. He did
actually ask, he's like, can Iask you if I am your body type.
And one reason why he also askedme that, you know, obviously,
you know, he felt something forme, but is his last girlfriend.
(03:27):
He wasn't her body type either.
She's into the muscle guys aswell. And bigger guys. So this
is already hits home for him.
And so, you know, I basicallysaid to him, you know, while
you're not my body type, I justknow he's lighter right now,
because of everything, stressand anxiety and all this stuff
that he's just gone through. So,you know, like a lot of people,
(03:49):
some people eat when they'restressed and have anxiety and
some people don't, I'm one ofthose people that if I, you
know, have anxiety and stress, Idon't eat, you know, so he even
said that he's lighter thannormally. So. But my question,
so I've asked a couple of mymuscle guy friends basically
like, like, realistically howmuch muscle could this guy put
(04:11):
on him? And you know, at 51years old, you know, and I was
just talking to a friend of mineright now. And before we just
got on this podcast, and he washe had COVID Last September, I
think it was COVID. And he lost3040 pounds of muscle. He lost
(04:31):
40 pounds of muscle because ofCOVID. And so now he dropped
down to like 185 from 230pounds. And so he said he's at
209 right now, and he stillneeds to add about 17 pounds of
muscle and he's like, hey, youknow, I'm struggling to put on
the weight right now. And youknow, in on shoveling and food
(04:52):
eating protein to get to 209 andyou know, and here's somebody
that knows how to lift and eatto get body mass. He's having
problems putting on muscle massand and he's got 17 pounds of
muscle that he wants to put on.
And so, you know, here I've gotthis guy that hasn't been in the
waitlist lifting world. And youknow, realistically, he's
telling me he's willing to puton muscle mass. And I'm just
(05:15):
like, I don't know,realistically, yeah, he can, he
could probably put on 10 pounds.
Yeah, but I just don't know ifhe's gonna put on 20 pounds in
get to 185 at least and it isfor me is 185. So gonna be
light? SoI'm gonna cut straight to the
next question. Because I thinkthat if you're going there to
(05:35):
spend two days, does that meantwo nights and you're staying in
his place? Have you had sex?
No, we haven't had sex. Andhere's the weird thing. I'll
tell you ladies. So when he washere to two things, so he he
kept his shirt on the wholetime. Okay, so, and I think it's
twofold because I think one herealizes he is like, and to me,
(05:59):
he's got a lot of tattoos. Andhe's probably unsure where I
stand there, and all this stuff.
So. So my question to you guyswould be sorry, I've got two
nights. And he's got what he'sgot is, yeah, I'm gonna stay on.
Basically, he's got a RandomHouse. So I would stay at his
rental house, which is nearbyhis main house. So I'm not
necessarily necessarily stayingwith him, per se. Now, if
(06:22):
everything works out, yeah, youknow, he can stay with me or
whatever. So we're notnecessarily in the same house.
But my question is, do I even goover there to figure all this
out? Or am I just just call it aday and don't even go, you know,
I'm just torn. Like, he's such anice guy.
(06:42):
I'm leaning, I'm waiting to theladder. So
here's the question I have foryou is, well, if you have to, in
my mind, consider this as hewill not put the weight on and
how would you feel 60 days fromnow? And he just made it to 10
pounds, because there's not muchdifference between that and
(07:03):
somebody that you think needs tolose 20 pounds, and they never
do?
Right? I was thinking the samething. Yeah.
best intentions? Yeah. But Iguess body style as it is today
is a deal breaker for you. Andyou can't imagine like did you
hug him? Did he feel bony? Likeyeah, frail? Yeah, crush him if
you're on top of him.
(07:25):
Yeah. Like, I felt like I feltso he felt good. And I just, you
know, and as you guys know, myex husband, you know, with six,
six, and I don't know how muchhe weighed when he was,
I did not know that. Or yourexercise was six. Yeah. Are you
serious? I imagined like a smallfella.
(07:47):
Okay, well, but he was small.
You know, he was six, six. Idon't know how much he weighed.
I can't even remember. But hewas like, thin, you know. So
that was dead. Thin isdefinitely not my body. Now, I
have definitely learned I meetin the middle guys. That's it.
Right? So that's anon negotiable? Yeah, I'd say
I'm definitely with Danny onthis, I would say cut the
(08:10):
losses, don't lay them on. Justsay, you know, I wish I had
chemistry. I'm just trying to befair. And you know, I don't want
you to change for me, and Iwouldn't want to change for
anybody. And you're going tomeet somebody great. And
honestly, the distance is goingto be a little too much. So you
can kind of push on that just soit doesn't hurt his feelings as
much. I mean, I've done thatwith somebody who's just I'm in
one county and then tampers inthe other. And then like it's
(08:33):
just a little bit further. It'snot really the case necessarily.
Yeah, I just needed a way of nothurting his feelings so much,
you know,came to me it's not his his
thinness or his his small frameor whatever. His weight is no
different than we go and meetsomebody that we expect to be
taller than us. And they're thesame height and we're like, oh,
(08:53):
no, that's not important. Right?
Like another physicalcharacteristic. Yeah, totally.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Oh, he's an amazing guy. He is aguy that every woman would want.
He like genuine, he's goodhearted. Like, he's such a great
guy. So which makes it evenharder for me. It's like, but
(09:15):
for me, I know that I need thatattraction, super attraction. So
like, I don't know if I have itwith him. So I'm kinda like
that's why I'm like, you know, Idon't know I don't want to get
there. Like are you thinkingabout
sex wise if you went there andit turned into that like in you
were enjoying dinner becausehe's this nice guy and you're
(09:35):
having some wine or whatever areyou thinking it could get to a
point where one thing is leadingto another and you have to make
a decision of whether or not youcan actually have sex with this
man or see him naked or or thetables gonna be charming. He's
gonna go Wait, I gotta turn thelights out.
And you're hoping that itdoesn't that his unit doesn't
match the overall profile.
(09:57):
Say He kind of we messed arounda little bit, and that's okay.
There's no issue there. Oh,yeah, no problem there would be
very happy there. Yeah, I know.
He's, he's definitely Yeah,fine. Okay, well, that's good.
(10:17):
I'm just, you know, okay, do Igo there and worst case
scenario, you know, we justhave, you know, 48 hours of a
great time together, you know,or I just, I just don't want to
get there and be like, wah, wah,you know, and then I'm stuck for
48 hours, you know, yeah.
So one thing that I listened tothis week that I thought was
(10:39):
interesting from a, it wasactually it was a dating coach,
and she was talking about how wehave, we are all too picky. Now,
I'm not saying I agree, I'm justrepeating whatever, we're all
that we are all very picky. Andthat we human nature has us
stuck in a place that we arefamiliar with, which was dating
(11:01):
in our 20s. And so when we areout looking for someone that
we're attracted to, we're stillattracted to the person that we
were looking for in our 20s. Andshe said, what it'd be
interesting is if you go and youlook, and you look around it at
a lot of men, and we always kindof turn and go, Where did their
hair go? Why did they have a potbelly? Why do they have all
these things? Because we arestill expecting men with hair
(11:24):
and trim bodies, and not the dadbod and all the things that
work. And um, she even said thatwhen she was talking about
herself that, you know, I wassitting in now, she was looking
at her union classroom unionpictures or something and going,
Oh, they look old. They lookgood. She said, and I turned to
my kid and said, Do I look thisold? And she said, for the first
time, I realized I'm that old?
Yeah. Because to us, we're stillyoung. However, some of us have
(11:48):
maybe done a better job at agingthan others, and put some effort
into it. Right. But are you sohow do we adjust? Because people
say that all the time? We're sopicky. We're so picky. And I
think there are things that wecan bend on. But I don't know
how you overcome physicalattraction.
(12:09):
Yeah, I don't think you do. Youknow, and I think you have to
have physical attraction. And Iknow that in my marriage, so for
me, physical attraction is avery important thing. And
without it, yeah, it's a no go.
And something I learned from mylast relationship is we had
super attraction on both bothsides, you know, so like, I
(12:32):
would look at him and I waslike, I want to rip your clothes
off, where my ex husband? Yeah,keep your clothes on, stay away
from me kind of thing. You know.
I was physically attracted tohim. So I know that and they
both have totally different bodytypes. As I told you guys
earlier, you know, like exhusband called beanpole and last
(12:54):
boyfriend, you know, six footmess of that. So I just, yeah, I
think I've got to realize maybeyou're right, Danny, you know,
he's not going to be able to geta look at it as like, he's not
going to be able to put the 20pounds on and if he does put the
20 pounds on, is he able to keepit since he's not been in that
world? You know, I've beenlifting since I was 16. I've
(13:16):
been in the gym since I was 16.
So it's like, basically mylifestyle. So for me to not go
to the gym, you know, for a yearis yeah, that's that has
happened in 30 years, you know,so
let me ask you this question. Ifyou I'm asking this based on the
situation that happened with theperson that when I met him, I
said, He's not my type. There'snothing about this man. It's my
(13:38):
type physically. And then Ispent more time with him in a
group and the charm and all thethings that was he the Baldwin?
Yes, yeah, that the personalitybrought out, won me over. And it
didn't matter that I thought heeither needed hair or to lose
weight. I was attracted to himthen because I just thought he
(14:00):
was a charmer. So if you wentand spent a couple of days, what
are the chances that this manthat every woman would want
because he's so awesome, wouldkind of turn you into a
fan? So funny, you asked me thatquestion. So the last boyfriend,
the muscle guy, so when I wasliving in Atlanta at that, at
(14:22):
that point, and I had matchedwith him on Bumble, and while I
was down in Fort Lauderdale, orMiami, and then you know, I came
down, I flew down for 48 hoursand met him and when that
weekend when I left, I wasn'tsure if I was attracted to him.
You know, obviously we did forthree years. And you know, I got
(14:43):
those feelings exactly like yousaid, you know, so he won me
over kind of thing. So, yes,it's possible, but I'd still
like so that's why I'm kindalike, Well, should it put in the
48 hours with this guy? Just atleast the you know, give him a
shot kind of thing. or, youknow, just cut my last
new adventure. I mean, could beand if you have your own place,
(15:07):
it's not like you're obligatedto spend 24/7 I would check out
that rental spot and just makesure he really has a rental
spot. Because yeah,yeah, yes. Yeah. He's he
honestly. very trustworthy, verytrustworthy, telling you,
there's no no no need on thisone, you know, and you know me,
(15:29):
I need to check everybody out,you know, so and yeah, this one
trust me is? Yeah, he's a goodone. Oh, good. Yeah. All right.
That's it makes it even harderlady.
So I know. That's why I'mthinking, Okay, if you gave
yourself first of all, you'vealready put some time into this
gentleman anyway. Yeah, and butI also can relate, like, if
(15:53):
you're, if you're kind ofcringing over what it's going to
be like, in bed, I can see I'veobviously found he's smiling.
Now, I would take advantage of agood deck. I'm sorry, but maybe
you could ask Cece, when you seeher next, she's pretty good at
assessing those things. Becauseshe'll you know, she can put it
in perspective and say, oh, youknow, give the guy a chance. You
(16:15):
never know. Or, hey, you know,it's an adventure or, you know,
maybe there's something else youcan get out of it or whatever.
But you never know what she hasremained friends with a lot of
her dates, so he could end upbeing this awesome friend, you
know, mystery. So you can usethe distance as the deal breaker
ultimately. So you could givethem that chance. And look, as
I've said many times, my husbandwas absolutely not my type. And
(16:38):
it's funny, Danny, you said thatabout about the person saying
about high school and all thatbecause I did have a type, you
know, dark and Italian and myhusband was the opposite, which
is why I wasn't like initiallyattracted to him. And then the
more I got to know is like, Ikind of liked this guy. I ended
up marrying him. So you neverknow. But it might if you have
some better plans, then youknow, that's one thing but if
(17:00):
you don't have any other plans,why not? What do you have to
lose?
True? So maybe so maybe I'mgathering from you ladies is go
from the 48 hours with them andmake a decision afterwards kind
of thing?
Well, so let's fast forward tothings get hot and heavy and
sexually charged what like whatif you became uninterested in
(17:24):
that scenario? Would you be ableto get out of it? What would you
say? Would you just go throughwith it because he's a nice guy
turn the lights off butobviously I need some
Well, I'm I'm asking thatquestion because initially he
said this was the big this is aquestion that had something to
do with sex and I think itreally does have to do with sex
(17:46):
because his body type is notyour stock not your type and
therefore you're not sexuallyinterested in him but if you get
there you are put in puttingyourself in a position to have
to decide and then you have toget out of the situation if you
don't want to.
Yeah, exactly. And so So when hewas here visiting me he wore a
(18:08):
shirt shirt the entire time hewas here so I didn't get to see
all the tattoos all in one piecebasically, I didn't get to see
his small frame and all that allthat stuff which you know could
have helped me make a littlebetter decision last time he was
here so but I feel like someways he was insecure or whatever
(18:31):
you know about it and so we keptthe shirt on so which makes it
harder for me is you know, youknow what if I get there and
we're having a great time andhe's feeling all frisky and
whatnot and I'm just not feelingit so I'm gonna have to have
that hard conversation andbasically say yeah, I'm just not
feeling it with him which is theright thing to do. Or maybe I'm
(18:51):
you know, I just worry thatsometimes you know, we were
under all of it we're stillanimals so sexuality and all
that and feeling it you know,maybe l you're right maybe I
should just enjoy we're gonnahave some sex and you know, call
it a day if I don't like himphysically after you know, and I
just so it's just, I don't know,like I also don't what's the
(19:12):
worst thing that can happen? Iguess you know what it is I also
don't want to waste my time andI don't want to waste his time
is my other thinking, you know,if you have better plans and
then then do the other plans,but if you don't have anything
else planned, then I don't know.
It's not really a waste of timein that way. And I will say this
just like confidence to menabout women because so many men
(19:32):
have said I like a confidentwoman. I don't like insecure
women. I don't like women whoput so much makeup on that I
can't recognize them when theytake it off and I don't like all
baggy. Now I've heard that fromso many men. I feel the same way
about men. I do not likeinsecure men. So that shirt
saying on the whole time if hefelt comfortable enough, I think
he's doing that for you becauseI think he knows that you're
(19:54):
tight, but I'll bet that if hewas with a smaller person, he'd
be whipping that off andprobably You know, enjoying, you
know, especially if he has a bigsorry, my mind is in there.
Well, are you with them to talkabout
pretty comfortable, I just don'twant to hurt them. That's the
only thing because such a niceguy. But I also don't want you
(20:16):
to obviously. And we've I putin, you know, there's a point
here, I'm just gonna have to behonest and
put some great words two minutesago, that sounded like a
conversation you could have withhim, which is he's already
brought up his weight. So he'sso approaching the subject of
physical attraction, and I don'twant to waste your time, I think
(20:39):
that you're a great guy, I maybemake it about not wasting his
time, and certainly not, youknow, you're gonna drop there
and all that and kind of feelinghim out for the fact that I
mean, if you if you are willingto go letting him know, I mean,
I'm always I probably always saymore than I should. But I would
want to have that. If I wasclose enough with them to say,
(21:02):
look, it may not work out. Idon't know, I've only met we've
only seen each other one time. Idon't know, I don't know what
that is. But I'm there's apossibility that I may come
there. And we have dinner andit's out like is that? Do you
feel like that's a way somehowto have that conversation?
But would you be okay with that?
Yeah.
So we've actually had thatconversation. And I funny
(21:24):
enough, because, and I said thatto him a couple days ago is
because he's he's alreadyplanning, you know, concerts and
all this stuff, like at the endof the month, and I'm I'm just,
you know, as you know, I'm justfiguring out if I'm attracted to
you, and I like you and I wantto hang out with you. And,
again, I'm not thinking, youknow, the end of June at this
(21:45):
point, even so, so he, he's,he's well on in with me already.
And I'm I'm not there. And I'vehad that conversation with him.
And I said, Look, I'm justtaking this one meeting over
time and see where it goes. And,you know, I need to figure out a
few things. And there's otherthings that I'm trying to figure
out about him too, that aren'trelated to this. I don't know if
(22:08):
his schedule is going to work.
You know, I have a flexibleschedule, you know, but um, so
when my ex boyfriend and Istarted to date, we both had a
flexible schedule, because weboth work from home and all this
stuff. So it was very easy forhim to come up to Atlanta, me to
come down here and spend two orthree weeks and vice versa,
where this guy has a schedule.
So and on top of a workschedule. He's got a rotating
(22:33):
kid custody schedule, so So whenhe doesn't have the kid, then
you know, he might be working.
So it's so that I'm dealing withon top of it trying to figure
that out. So on top of theattraction thing.
So going back to my originalanswer, don't go. Sorry. That's
just my waste my calendar. Yeah,I didn't realize he was a
(22:54):
planner. Like he's already gotthe concerts playing. It's it's
prolonging potentially theinevitable. So it's ultimately
going to hurt him more, in myopinion, especially with the
daughterand rotating schedule and work.
It's a he does not fit into yourlifestyle. I don't believe Yeah,
yeah. I wouldn't be doing thecommuting for sure. Yeah. And he
(23:15):
doesn't have you know, I'vedated some guys that have
custody schedules that aregreat. Like literally one week
on one week off, and then youcan at you know, you can I can
go over there for a week and aweek together, where Kate's got
this crazy custody schedulebecause of his work schedule,
which is crazy. So like he'llhave the kid Friday night and
then mother will have the kidSaturday night and then he has
(23:38):
the kids Sunday, Monday. Yes,Sunday and Monday. And then it
rotates. It's crazy. And so heneeds to do to my local well.
It's like yeah, I don't know,another dozen
dozen it'll be easier and he metsomebody local because they can
leave in 10 minutes and get homeyou know, true to your excuse
(23:58):
then insulting him. I'm justit's nice out actually isn't
niceout. But I think because Kate's
so flexible with being able tobe anywhere, it's it makes it
easier. If somebody's you know,some were four hours away or
whatever, but not when they havekids and everything else that
heaps I think it's one thing tocommute when you can both have
(24:18):
the flexibility to commute. Butit sounds like all the heavy
lifting is going to be on Yes,yes. And there's a child.
Yeah. So. So he's got threedifferent schedules with his
work. So let your kids know thatyeah, luckily, I only got one so
but he's got three. So eachevery three months, his schedule
changes. So or every other everymonth, the schedule changes. So
(24:42):
like one one month, he's gotwhat I call like bankers hours.
We enter nine to five, Mondaythrough Friday, and then he's
off, you know, Saturday andSunday like a normal person. But
when he's on that Saturday andSunday, he's got his kid
Saturday, Sunday so so it's fun.
I during the week, you know, soI could go over there and during
the week and hang out and workduring the day, and then you
(25:06):
know, we'd have time in theevening together. So that would
be great. And then he's got thisother schedule, that is great,
because that schedule for theother month is he doesn't start
until three o'clock in theafternoon, the man works to
midnight. And so that schedule,he doesn't have a song, maybe
two days out, you know, two daysduring the week, so and they're
(25:27):
back to back. So that scheduleworks very well. But then you've
got this other schedule that forthe so it's like two out of two
of the three men's he's got ahard schedule with the kid like
they because of his workschedule. So it's like hard to
put me in there necessarilyschedule for you to because
you'd be adapting that sameschedule, in essence, and using
(25:49):
all that I'm sorry, but gas isexpensive. Nowadays, you might
not think it's a big deal. But afour hour round trip is a four
hour round trip. That's a lot ofgas. And not not to say that's
not the issue. I'm just sayingit is a lot of heavy lifting, as
Danny said, and I don't know,and you're not even that into I
mean, I It sounds like youreally enjoy him as a person.
But I'm not hearing chemistry. Idon't hear like I so hot. I just
(26:12):
wish he was a little bit bigger.
You know, it's not like that. iAnd I've heard that from you
before. So I turned one of thosewhen I first moved to Fort
Lauderdale, and I was lonely.
And I met somebody and I waslike, Oh, he's not very
attractive in person. We endedup you know, I said, I'm kind of
seeing somebody else. But wouldyou be open to a friend Friends
with Benefits idea? And that'swhat we did, because I just
(26:34):
didn't see a relationship goingwith him. But that's just what I
did. I mean, that's not what I'mrecommending here at all. I
don't know, it's a biginvestment of time for you and
change. And it's takena lot of mental capacity for a
guy that you don't have anythingwith. It's a lot. It's taken a
lot of you're like it's weighingon you. All right.
(26:54):
Yeah. And I'm just kind ofthinking, okay, so he came over
here about two weeks ago. Andwith his schedule, we were
trying to coordinate in my in myschedule, it took another two
weeks for us to get together.
Yeah. So it's like, and that's along time to not see somebody
you know, and especially whenI'm only getting two nights with
you, then so Yeah, might have tohave
(27:18):
a blaring question. Because whenwe talked about this before,
there was another interestingparty that might have been too
good to be true. And you'rewaiting to find that out who was
maybe going to derail the wholething. Anyway.
So funny enough, so I had thatdate with him. And this is a guy
that I had matched with, like ayear ago, like, right, like a
(27:41):
couple of months after myboyfriend and I, you know, broke
up. And so and then we talked,we were getting we were setting
up a meeting, and then his like,friend, best friend died. And so
we had to go to Michigan to helpget the friend's house in all
the paperwork in order and allthat stuff. So you know, I don't
know if the story was real ornot at the time. Now I know
(28:04):
because now I've met this guy.
So I met him. And I didn't readall the text messages that we
had a year ago. I guess we'retoo busy. He did. He said he
read all our text messages. Andhe did because he brought up
stuff that I was like, oh, okay,okay, remembers all that. But
he's like, No, I read all ourtext messages from a year ago.
So all right, but I still don'tknow if he's true or not. And
(28:27):
here's the other thing. So justlike with dating nowadays, so he
texts me over the weekend onFriday or something. And he
basically says, Hey, I wouldlove to see you again. Right. So
I write him back. And I said,you know, surely, you know, I
thought, you know, Monday andThursday available. So at the
time, you know, we got scheduledand then he never writes me
(28:48):
back. So I then have an event togo to on Saturday night. Right?
So he had told me that it isthing Yeah, be at theme party
charity thing you go to and soand he had told me that he was
many years ago, the brand bybehind this hairspray. So which
I'm still not sure if the storyis true, because if he is if
(29:11):
he's telling me what he's toldme, I don't know. That's pretty
impressive. All the brand stuffand all you know, and I'm in the
advertising world and whatnot.
And so the fact that so I'mstill gonna share his stories
I'll check out necessarily sogrieving this guy. And so have I
heard from so I sent him a photoof that hairspray that he was
(29:34):
supposedly the brand guy fromand so he like sent a thumbs up
or loved that or whatevermessage but have I heard from
them to set up the date that heasked me to review for this
week? No, no, nothing. So but ontop of it. Yeah. There's a lot
of questions there. Yes. Lots ofquestions. Yes, he was a very
(29:54):
attractive man and the man cankit so and he says he took one
and 215 pounds. Now, I don'tknow if he's 215 pounds, so I
couldn't really tell what theshirt that he had. So what did
he and I don't think he's 215pounds. I really I don't I don't
think he is, but maybe you, youknow, and if he is 250 pounds,
(30:16):
then he's right up my alley.
Yeah. Solike, he's obviously not 165.
Yeah.
No, no, no offense. 50 pounds.
Yeah, yes. Yeah, he wasdefinitely heavier. But But I
think that yeah, I don't know.
So anyways, I got other optionsto grow on. So it's not like I
you know, and it's funny. Thisis coming. So the the date that
(30:39):
I had right with this guy, heasked me this question. And I
don't know if you guys haveheard this term. He asked me,
Are you single? Or are yousingle, single? Have you guys
heard that? No, no. All right.
So he asked me this. And funnyenough, because I love tic tock.
I learned what this term wasmany months ago. So I was able
to answer him and say, I'msingle. I'm not single, single.
(31:01):
So here's what a single singlesingle is. If you're talking to
people and dating other people,so it doesn't mean necessarily
you're sleeping with them. Itjust means that you're talking
and dating other that thing nowsingle single is nobody's
sending you a good morning textmessage.
(31:23):
You're off to sleep. Yeah. Okay.
Like, I don't know, we none ofus should admit to that.
I now. Yeah, right. I agree. I'mnever I'm never admitting that.
So I'm just single who I admitthat I don't ever
single single. Well, yeah, hedoes. And I asked him, I said,
well, so I answered it. I said,Well, I'm single. And I said,
(31:46):
you know, because I'm talking tothis guy on the other coast. And
so when he came over andwhatnot, so I said, Well, what
are you? And he's like, I'msingle, single? Oh. So saying,
No,I wonder if maybe, do you think
there's any chance he would havebeen saying something like that
to sound like a better magnet?
(32:06):
Like a better because a lot ofgirls do want guys like that? I
mean, I do. I wouldn't guy whojust wants to, but I'm not going
to come out and say because Idon't want to scare him away.
You know what I mean?
You know, I think that's a it'san individual question. Because
I have met men that when theyasked me, you know, if I'm
seeing other people, and as youladies know, that I don't shut
(32:29):
the door on anybody, you know,unless Unless, until you and I
have that conversation ofexclusivity, you know, and all
that stuff. And to some extent,if I start to sleep with you,
then I'm not going to start I'mnot going to be necessarily
dating other people necessarily.
So I'm going to close it offanyways, if I start to sleep
with somebody, so But um,you you start to sleep with
(32:52):
somebody, they close it off aswell before you actually do
that, or does that notnecessarily have to match up for
you?
Um, no, it doesn't have to matchup? No. So So I guess my my
thinking is, I lost my train ofthought.
Well, you know, to be continued,you'll have to let us know.
Checkout our Facebook page for Kate's
update on what her decisionended up being.
(33:13):
All right, ladies. Good night.
All of our listeners. Thank you.
Shout out Sass overfifty@gmail.com Follow us on
Instagram, SASS over 50. Weappreciate it. Thank you
Welcome to another episode of Sexy And Single
Sisters over 50! Welcome toanother episode! Kate has some
interesting information she'sgoing to be sharing. And of
course, we have our lovely Daniwith us today. And I'm Elle
welcome listeners. So go ahead,Kate, you're gonna take this
away.
(00:27):
So I actually need some datingadvice from you, lady. So here's
my question to you. Alright, soa little background, I was
talking to this guy that liveson the other coast of Florida.
And we met he came over and wemet, and I don't know exactly if
(00:48):
He's my type. So here's myquestion to you. I'm supposed to
go see him tomorrow for twodays. But he's way lighter than
my normal type of guy. So youguys know my type is usually
about six foot or taller. Yeah.
And he they're usually you know,one. Right now they're not know.
So there's like at least sixfoot and at least 190 pounds to
(01:13):
210 is usually my type. So bigboys is what I like. And so this
guy when I met him, I thought itwas about 175 pounds and six
foot tall. So taller you. So I'mfive foot eight, and I'm six
foot in heels. Right. SoI mean, just to put it into
(01:35):
perspective, it's not that youare not wanting like have
something against smaller guys,you just are a very tall woman
who kind of it would look odd tohave two very thin people next
to each other. I mean, I'm justpicturing Yeah, like, yeah, I
get it.
Yeah. Yeah. And then so that'skind of so we he left, and he's
(01:56):
such a nice guy, girls, I He'sreally nice, like, and he's a
good hearted, genuine guy thatevery woman is searching for. He
ain't that guy. You know, I justdon't know if he's physically my
case. And here's so we gotchatting this week. And he
finally told me how much heweighs. And I thought it was
175. He's actually 165. And togive you an idea, I'm five foot
(02:21):
eight. And I'm 145. Okay, so I'min shape. You know, I'm fit
right? In all that. So, buta little more, but how many
inches? How tall is he?
He's four inches taller.
He's six feet tall and 20pounds. Only 20 pounds heavier.
Wooh,yeah, that's, that's a runner's
body. But now, Kate, you happento mention to me that he kind of
brought up it's almost like hesensed that you had a
(02:44):
disappointment about it. Youdidn't say anything? I'm sure
because it was a first date. Buthow do you think he was? That's
a very unusual thing for a guyto kind of come back and say,
you know, hey, I'm trying todidn't you tell me he mentioned
something to you?
Yeah. So he, so after he left,and a few days after he
(03:04):
basically, you know, he could,you know, in our conversations,
basically, since that, you know,he may not be my body type, he
may not be my body type. And hedid ask me that question. He did
actually ask, he's like, can Iask you if I am your body type.
And one reason why he also askedme that, you know, obviously,
you know, he felt something forme, but is his last girlfriend.
(03:27):
He wasn't her body type either.
She's into the muscle guys aswell. And bigger guys. So this
is already hits home for him.
And so, you know, I basicallysaid to him, you know, while
you're not my body type, I justknow he's lighter right now,
because of everything, stressand anxiety and all this stuff
that he's just gone through. So,you know, like a lot of people,
(03:49):
some people eat when they'restressed and have anxiety and
some people don't, I'm one ofthose people that if I, you
know, have anxiety and stress, Idon't eat, you know, so he even
said that he's lighter thannormally. So. But my question,
so I've asked a couple of mymuscle guy friends basically
like, like, realistically howmuch muscle could this guy put
(04:11):
on him? And you know, at 51years old, you know, and I was
just talking to a friend of mineright now. And before we just
got on this podcast, and he washe had COVID Last September, I
think it was COVID. And he lost3040 pounds of muscle. He lost
(04:31):
40 pounds of muscle because ofCOVID. And so now he dropped
down to like 185 from 230pounds. And so he said he's at
209 right now, and he stillneeds to add about 17 pounds of
muscle and he's like, hey, youknow, I'm struggling to put on
the weight right now. And youknow, in on shoveling and food
(04:52):
eating protein to get to 209 andyou know, and here's somebody
that knows how to lift and eatto get body mass. He's having
problems putting on muscle massand and he's got 17 pounds of
muscle that he wants to put on.
And so, you know, here I've gotthis guy that hasn't been in the
waitlist lifting world. And youknow, realistically, he's
telling me he's willing to puton muscle mass. And I'm just
(05:15):
like, I don't know,realistically, yeah, he can, he
could probably put on 10 pounds.
Yeah, but I just don't know ifhe's gonna put on 20 pounds in
get to 185 at least and it isfor me is 185. So gonna be
light? SoI'm gonna cut straight to the
next question. Because I thinkthat if you're going there to
(05:35):
spend two days, does that meantwo nights and you're staying in
his place? Have you had sex?
No, we haven't had sex. Andhere's the weird thing. I'll
tell you ladies. So when he washere to two things, so he he
kept his shirt on the wholetime. Okay, so, and I think it's
twofold because I think one herealizes he is like, and to me,
(05:59):
he's got a lot of tattoos. Andhe's probably unsure where I
stand there, and all this stuff.
So. So my question to you guyswould be sorry, I've got two
nights. And he's got what he'sgot is, yeah, I'm gonna stay on.
Basically, he's got a RandomHouse. So I would stay at his
rental house, which is nearbyhis main house. So I'm not
necessarily necessarily stayingwith him, per se. Now, if
(06:22):
everything works out, yeah, youknow, he can stay with me or
whatever. So we're notnecessarily in the same house.
But my question is, do I even goover there to figure all this
out? Or am I just just call it aday and don't even go, you know,
I'm just torn. Like, he's such anice guy.
(06:42):
I'm leaning, I'm waiting to theladder. So
here's the question I have foryou is, well, if you have to, in
my mind, consider this as hewill not put the weight on and
how would you feel 60 days fromnow? And he just made it to 10
pounds, because there's not muchdifference between that and
(07:03):
somebody that you think needs tolose 20 pounds, and they never
do?
Right? I was thinking the samething. Yeah.
best intentions? Yeah. But Iguess body style as it is today
is a deal breaker for you. Andyou can't imagine like did you
hug him? Did he feel bony? Likeyeah, frail? Yeah, crush him if
you're on top of him.
(07:25):
Yeah. Like, I felt like I feltso he felt good. And I just, you
know, and as you guys know, myex husband, you know, with six,
six, and I don't know how muchhe weighed when he was,
I did not know that. Or yourexercise was six. Yeah. Are you
serious? I imagined like a smallfella.
(07:47):
Okay, well, but he was small.
You know, he was six, six. Idon't know how much he weighed.
I can't even remember. But hewas like, thin, you know. So
that was dead. Thin isdefinitely not my body. Now, I
have definitely learned I meetin the middle guys. That's it.
Right? So that's anon negotiable? Yeah, I'd say
I'm definitely with Danny onthis, I would say cut the
(08:10):
losses, don't lay them on. Justsay, you know, I wish I had
chemistry. I'm just trying to befair. And you know, I don't want
you to change for me, and Iwouldn't want to change for
anybody. And you're going tomeet somebody great. And
honestly, the distance is goingto be a little too much. So you
can kind of push on that just soit doesn't hurt his feelings as
much. I mean, I've done thatwith somebody who's just I'm in
one county and then tampers inthe other. And then like it's
(08:33):
just a little bit further. It'snot really the case necessarily.
Yeah, I just needed a way of nothurting his feelings so much,
you know,came to me it's not his his
thinness or his his small frameor whatever. His weight is no
different than we go and meetsomebody that we expect to be
taller than us. And they're thesame height and we're like, oh,
(08:53):
no, that's not important. Right?
Like another physicalcharacteristic. Yeah, totally.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Oh, he's an amazing guy. He is aguy that every woman would want.
He like genuine, he's goodhearted. Like, he's such a great
guy. So which makes it evenharder for me. It's like, but
(09:15):
for me, I know that I need thatattraction, super attraction. So
like, I don't know if I have itwith him. So I'm kinda like
that's why I'm like, you know, Idon't know I don't want to get
there. Like are you thinkingabout
sex wise if you went there andit turned into that like in you
were enjoying dinner becausehe's this nice guy and you're
(09:35):
having some wine or whatever areyou thinking it could get to a
point where one thing is leadingto another and you have to make
a decision of whether or not youcan actually have sex with this
man or see him naked or or thetables gonna be charming. He's
gonna go Wait, I gotta turn thelights out.
And you're hoping that itdoesn't that his unit doesn't
match the overall profile.
(09:57):
Say He kind of we messed arounda little bit, and that's okay.
There's no issue there. Oh,yeah, no problem there would be
very happy there. Yeah, I know.
He's, he's definitely Yeah,fine. Okay, well, that's good.
(10:17):
I'm just, you know, okay, do Igo there and worst case
scenario, you know, we justhave, you know, 48 hours of a
great time together, you know,or I just, I just don't want to
get there and be like, wah, wah,you know, and then I'm stuck for
48 hours, you know, yeah.
So one thing that I listened tothis week that I thought was
(10:39):
interesting from a, it wasactually it was a dating coach,
and she was talking about how wehave, we are all too picky. Now,
I'm not saying I agree, I'm justrepeating whatever, we're all
that we are all very picky. Andthat we human nature has us
stuck in a place that we arefamiliar with, which was dating
(11:01):
in our 20s. And so when we areout looking for someone that
we're attracted to, we're stillattracted to the person that we
were looking for in our 20s. Andshe said, what it'd be
interesting is if you go and youlook, and you look around it at
a lot of men, and we always kindof turn and go, Where did their
hair go? Why did they have a potbelly? Why do they have all
these things? Because we arestill expecting men with hair
(11:24):
and trim bodies, and not the dadbod and all the things that
work. And um, she even said thatwhen she was talking about
herself that, you know, I wassitting in now, she was looking
at her union classroom unionpictures or something and going,
Oh, they look old. They lookgood. She said, and I turned to
my kid and said, Do I look thisold? And she said, for the first
time, I realized I'm that old?
Yeah. Because to us, we're stillyoung. However, some of us have
(11:48):
maybe done a better job at agingthan others, and put some effort
into it. Right. But are you sohow do we adjust? Because people
say that all the time? We're sopicky. We're so picky. And I
think there are things that wecan bend on. But I don't know
how you overcome physicalattraction.
(12:09):
Yeah, I don't think you do. Youknow, and I think you have to
have physical attraction. And Iknow that in my marriage, so for
me, physical attraction is avery important thing. And
without it, yeah, it's a no go.
And something I learned from mylast relationship is we had
super attraction on both bothsides, you know, so like, I
(12:32):
would look at him and I waslike, I want to rip your clothes
off, where my ex husband? Yeah,keep your clothes on, stay away
from me kind of thing. You know.
I was physically attracted tohim. So I know that and they
both have totally different bodytypes. As I told you guys
earlier, you know, like exhusband called beanpole and last
(12:54):
boyfriend, you know, six footmess of that. So I just, yeah, I
think I've got to realize maybeyou're right, Danny, you know,
he's not going to be able to geta look at it as like, he's not
going to be able to put the 20pounds on and if he does put the
20 pounds on, is he able to keepit since he's not been in that
world? You know, I've beenlifting since I was 16. I've
(13:16):
been in the gym since I was 16.
So it's like, basically mylifestyle. So for me to not go
to the gym, you know, for a yearis yeah, that's that has
happened in 30 years, you know,so
let me ask you this question. Ifyou I'm asking this based on the
situation that happened with theperson that when I met him, I
said, He's not my type. There'snothing about this man. It's my
(13:38):
type physically. And then Ispent more time with him in a
group and the charm and all thethings that was he the Baldwin?
Yes, yeah, that the personalitybrought out, won me over. And it
didn't matter that I thought heeither needed hair or to lose
weight. I was attracted to himthen because I just thought he
(14:00):
was a charmer. So if you wentand spent a couple of days, what
are the chances that this manthat every woman would want
because he's so awesome, wouldkind of turn you into a
fan? So funny, you asked me thatquestion. So the last boyfriend,
the muscle guy, so when I wasliving in Atlanta at that, at
(14:22):
that point, and I had matchedwith him on Bumble, and while I
was down in Fort Lauderdale, orMiami, and then you know, I came
down, I flew down for 48 hoursand met him and when that
weekend when I left, I wasn'tsure if I was attracted to him.
You know, obviously we did forthree years. And you know, I got
(14:43):
those feelings exactly like yousaid, you know, so he won me
over kind of thing. So, yes,it's possible, but I'd still
like so that's why I'm kindalike, Well, should it put in the
48 hours with this guy? Just atleast the you know, give him a
shot kind of thing. or, youknow, just cut my last
new adventure. I mean, could beand if you have your own place,
(15:07):
it's not like you're obligatedto spend 24/7 I would check out
that rental spot and just makesure he really has a rental
spot. Because yeah,yeah, yes. Yeah. He's he
honestly. very trustworthy, verytrustworthy, telling you,
there's no no no need on thisone, you know, and you know me,
(15:29):
I need to check everybody out,you know, so and yeah, this one
trust me is? Yeah, he's a goodone. Oh, good. Yeah. All right.
That's it makes it even harderlady.
So I know. That's why I'mthinking, Okay, if you gave
yourself first of all, you'vealready put some time into this
gentleman anyway. Yeah, and butI also can relate, like, if
(15:53):
you're, if you're kind ofcringing over what it's going to
be like, in bed, I can see I'veobviously found he's smiling.
Now, I would take advantage of agood deck. I'm sorry, but maybe
you could ask Cece, when you seeher next, she's pretty good at
assessing those things. Becauseshe'll you know, she can put it
in perspective and say, oh, youknow, give the guy a chance. You
(16:15):
never know. Or, hey, you know,it's an adventure or, you know,
maybe there's something else youcan get out of it or whatever.
But you never know what she hasremained friends with a lot of
her dates, so he could end upbeing this awesome friend, you
know, mystery. So you can usethe distance as the deal breaker
ultimately. So you could givethem that chance. And look, as
I've said many times, my husbandwas absolutely not my type. And
(16:38):
it's funny, Danny, you said thatabout about the person saying
about high school and all thatbecause I did have a type, you
know, dark and Italian and myhusband was the opposite, which
is why I wasn't like initiallyattracted to him. And then the
more I got to know is like, Ikind of liked this guy. I ended
up marrying him. So you neverknow. But it might if you have
some better plans, then youknow, that's one thing but if
(17:00):
you don't have any other plans,why not? What do you have to
lose?
True? So maybe so maybe I'mgathering from you ladies is go
from the 48 hours with them andmake a decision afterwards kind
of thing?
Well, so let's fast forward tothings get hot and heavy and
sexually charged what like whatif you became uninterested in
(17:24):
that scenario? Would you be ableto get out of it? What would you
say? Would you just go throughwith it because he's a nice guy
turn the lights off butobviously I need some
Well, I'm I'm asking thatquestion because initially he
said this was the big this is aquestion that had something to
do with sex and I think itreally does have to do with sex
(17:46):
because his body type is notyour stock not your type and
therefore you're not sexuallyinterested in him but if you get
there you are put in puttingyourself in a position to have
to decide and then you have toget out of the situation if you
don't want to.
Yeah, exactly. And so So when hewas here visiting me he wore a
(18:08):
shirt shirt the entire time hewas here so I didn't get to see
all the tattoos all in one piecebasically, I didn't get to see
his small frame and all that allthat stuff which you know could
have helped me make a littlebetter decision last time he was
here so but I feel like someways he was insecure or whatever
(18:31):
you know about it and so we keptthe shirt on so which makes it
harder for me is you know, youknow what if I get there and
we're having a great time andhe's feeling all frisky and
whatnot and I'm just not feelingit so I'm gonna have to have
that hard conversation andbasically say yeah, I'm just not
feeling it with him which is theright thing to do. Or maybe I'm
(18:51):
you know, I just worry thatsometimes you know, we were
under all of it we're stillanimals so sexuality and all
that and feeling it you know,maybe l you're right maybe I
should just enjoy we're gonnahave some sex and you know, call
it a day if I don't like himphysically after you know, and I
just so it's just, I don't know,like I also don't what's the
(19:12):
worst thing that can happen? Iguess you know what it is I also
don't want to waste my time andI don't want to waste his time
is my other thinking, you know,if you have better plans and
then then do the other plans,but if you don't have anything
else planned, then I don't know.
It's not really a waste of timein that way. And I will say this
just like confidence to menabout women because so many men
(19:32):
have said I like a confidentwoman. I don't like insecure
women. I don't like women whoput so much makeup on that I
can't recognize them when theytake it off and I don't like all
baggy. Now I've heard that fromso many men. I feel the same way
about men. I do not likeinsecure men. So that shirt
saying on the whole time if hefelt comfortable enough, I think
he's doing that for you becauseI think he knows that you're
(19:54):
tight, but I'll bet that if hewas with a smaller person, he'd
be whipping that off andprobably You know, enjoying, you
know, especially if he has a bigsorry, my mind is in there.
Well, are you with them to talkabout
pretty comfortable, I just don'twant to hurt them. That's the
only thing because such a niceguy. But I also don't want you
(20:16):
to obviously. And we've I putin, you know, there's a point
here, I'm just gonna have to behonest and
put some great words two minutesago, that sounded like a
conversation you could have withhim, which is he's already
brought up his weight. So he'sso approaching the subject of
physical attraction, and I don'twant to waste your time, I think
(20:39):
that you're a great guy, I maybemake it about not wasting his
time, and certainly not, youknow, you're gonna drop there
and all that and kind of feelinghim out for the fact that I
mean, if you if you are willingto go letting him know, I mean,
I'm always I probably always saymore than I should. But I would
want to have that. If I wasclose enough with them to say,
(21:02):
look, it may not work out. Idon't know, I've only met we've
only seen each other one time. Idon't know, I don't know what
that is. But I'm there's apossibility that I may come
there. And we have dinner andit's out like is that? Do you
feel like that's a way somehowto have that conversation?
But would you be okay with that?
Yeah.
So we've actually had thatconversation. And I funny
(21:24):
enough, because, and I said thatto him a couple days ago is
because he's he's alreadyplanning, you know, concerts and
all this stuff, like at the endof the month, and I'm I'm just,
you know, as you know, I'm justfiguring out if I'm attracted to
you, and I like you and I wantto hang out with you. And,
again, I'm not thinking, youknow, the end of June at this
(21:45):
point, even so, so he, he's,he's well on in with me already.
And I'm I'm not there. And I'vehad that conversation with him.
And I said, Look, I'm justtaking this one meeting over
time and see where it goes. And,you know, I need to figure out a
few things. And there's otherthings that I'm trying to figure
out about him too, that aren'trelated to this. I don't know if
(22:08):
his schedule is going to work.
You know, I have a flexibleschedule, you know, but um, so
when my ex boyfriend and Istarted to date, we both had a
flexible schedule, because weboth work from home and all this
stuff. So it was very easy forhim to come up to Atlanta, me to
come down here and spend two orthree weeks and vice versa,
where this guy has a schedule.
So and on top of a workschedule. He's got a rotating
(22:33):
kid custody schedule, so So whenhe doesn't have the kid, then
you know, he might be working.
So it's so that I'm dealing withon top of it trying to figure
that out. So on top of theattraction thing.
So going back to my originalanswer, don't go. Sorry. That's
just my waste my calendar. Yeah,I didn't realize he was a
(22:54):
planner. Like he's already gotthe concerts playing. It's it's
prolonging potentially theinevitable. So it's ultimately
going to hurt him more, in myopinion, especially with the
daughterand rotating schedule and work.
It's a he does not fit into yourlifestyle. I don't believe Yeah,
yeah. I wouldn't be doing thecommuting for sure. Yeah. And he
(23:15):
doesn't have you know, I'vedated some guys that have
custody schedules that aregreat. Like literally one week
on one week off, and then youcan at you know, you can I can
go over there for a week and aweek together, where Kate's got
this crazy custody schedulebecause of his work schedule,
which is crazy. So like he'llhave the kid Friday night and
then mother will have the kidSaturday night and then he has
(23:38):
the kids Sunday, Monday. Yes,Sunday and Monday. And then it
rotates. It's crazy. And so heneeds to do to my local well.
It's like yeah, I don't know,another dozen
dozen it'll be easier and he metsomebody local because they can
leave in 10 minutes and get homeyou know, true to your excuse
(23:58):
then insulting him. I'm justit's nice out actually isn't
niceout. But I think because Kate's
so flexible with being able tobe anywhere, it's it makes it
easier. If somebody's you know,some were four hours away or
whatever, but not when they havekids and everything else that
heaps I think it's one thing tocommute when you can both have
(24:18):
the flexibility to commute. Butit sounds like all the heavy
lifting is going to be on Yes,yes. And there's a child.
Yeah. So. So he's got threedifferent schedules with his
work. So let your kids know thatyeah, luckily, I only got one so
but he's got three. So eachevery three months, his schedule
changes. So or every other everymonth, the schedule changes. So
(24:42):
like one one month, he's gotwhat I call like bankers hours.
We enter nine to five, Mondaythrough Friday, and then he's
off, you know, Saturday andSunday like a normal person. But
when he's on that Saturday andSunday, he's got his kid
Saturday, Sunday so so it's fun.
I during the week, you know, soI could go over there and during
the week and hang out and workduring the day, and then you
(25:06):
know, we'd have time in theevening together. So that would
be great. And then he's got thisother schedule, that is great,
because that schedule for theother month is he doesn't start
until three o'clock in theafternoon, the man works to
midnight. And so that schedule,he doesn't have a song, maybe
two days out, you know, two daysduring the week, so and they're
(25:27):
back to back. So that scheduleworks very well. But then you've
got this other schedule that forthe so it's like two out of two
of the three men's he's got ahard schedule with the kid like
they because of his workschedule. So it's like hard to
put me in there necessarilyschedule for you to because
you'd be adapting that sameschedule, in essence, and using
(25:49):
all that I'm sorry, but gas isexpensive. Nowadays, you might
not think it's a big deal. But afour hour round trip is a four
hour round trip. That's a lot ofgas. And not not to say that's
not the issue. I'm just sayingit is a lot of heavy lifting, as
Danny said, and I don't know,and you're not even that into I
mean, I It sounds like youreally enjoy him as a person.
But I'm not hearing chemistry. Idon't hear like I so hot. I just
(26:12):
wish he was a little bit bigger.
You know, it's not like that. iAnd I've heard that from you
before. So I turned one of thosewhen I first moved to Fort
Lauderdale, and I was lonely.
And I met somebody and I waslike, Oh, he's not very
attractive in person. We endedup you know, I said, I'm kind of
seeing somebody else. But wouldyou be open to a friend Friends
with Benefits idea? And that'swhat we did, because I just
(26:34):
didn't see a relationship goingwith him. But that's just what I
did. I mean, that's not what I'mrecommending here at all. I
don't know, it's a biginvestment of time for you and
change. And it's takena lot of mental capacity for a
guy that you don't have anythingwith. It's a lot. It's taken a
lot of you're like it's weighingon you. All right.
(26:54):
Yeah. And I'm just kind ofthinking, okay, so he came over
here about two weeks ago. Andwith his schedule, we were
trying to coordinate in my in myschedule, it took another two
weeks for us to get together.
Yeah. So it's like, and that's along time to not see somebody
you know, and especially whenI'm only getting two nights with
you, then so Yeah, might have tohave
(27:18):
a blaring question. Because whenwe talked about this before,
there was another interestingparty that might have been too
good to be true. And you'rewaiting to find that out who was
maybe going to derail the wholething. Anyway.
So funny enough, so I had thatdate with him. And this is a guy
that I had matched with, like ayear ago, like, right, like a
(27:41):
couple of months after myboyfriend and I, you know, broke
up. And so and then we talked,we were getting we were setting
up a meeting, and then his like,friend, best friend died. And so
we had to go to Michigan to helpget the friend's house in all
the paperwork in order and allthat stuff. So you know, I don't
know if the story was real ornot at the time. Now I know
(28:04):
because now I've met this guy.
So I met him. And I didn't readall the text messages that we
had a year ago. I guess we'retoo busy. He did. He said he
read all our text messages. Andhe did because he brought up
stuff that I was like, oh, okay,okay, remembers all that. But
he's like, No, I read all ourtext messages from a year ago.
So all right, but I still don'tknow if he's true or not. And
(28:27):
here's the other thing. So justlike with dating nowadays, so he
texts me over the weekend onFriday or something. And he
basically says, Hey, I wouldlove to see you again. Right. So
I write him back. And I said,you know, surely, you know, I
thought, you know, Monday andThursday available. So at the
time, you know, we got scheduledand then he never writes me
(28:48):
back. So I then have an event togo to on Saturday night. Right?
So he had told me that it isthing Yeah, be at theme party
charity thing you go to and soand he had told me that he was
many years ago, the brand bybehind this hairspray. So which
I'm still not sure if the storyis true, because if he is if
(29:11):
he's telling me what he's toldme, I don't know. That's pretty
impressive. All the brand stuffand all you know, and I'm in the
advertising world and whatnot.
And so the fact that so I'mstill gonna share his stories
I'll check out necessarily sogrieving this guy. And so have I
heard from so I sent him a photoof that hairspray that he was
(29:34):
supposedly the brand guy fromand so he like sent a thumbs up
or loved that or whatevermessage but have I heard from
them to set up the date that heasked me to review for this
week? No, no, nothing. So but ontop of it. Yeah. There's a lot
of questions there. Yes. Lots ofquestions. Yes, he was a very
(29:54):
attractive man and the man cankit so and he says he took one
and 215 pounds. Now, I don'tknow if he's 215 pounds, so I
couldn't really tell what theshirt that he had. So what did
he and I don't think he's 215pounds. I really I don't I don't
think he is, but maybe you, youknow, and if he is 250 pounds,
(30:16):
then he's right up my alley.
Yeah. Solike, he's obviously not 165.
Yeah.
No, no, no offense. 50 pounds.
Yeah, yes. Yeah, he wasdefinitely heavier. But But I
think that yeah, I don't know.
So anyways, I got other optionsto grow on. So it's not like I
you know, and it's funny. Thisis coming. So the the date that
(30:39):
I had right with this guy, heasked me this question. And I
don't know if you guys haveheard this term. He asked me,
Are you single? Or are yousingle, single? Have you guys
heard that? No, no. All right.
So he asked me this. And funnyenough, because I love tic tock.
I learned what this term wasmany months ago. So I was able
to answer him and say, I'msingle. I'm not single, single.
(31:01):
So here's what a single singlesingle is. If you're talking to
people and dating other people,so it doesn't mean necessarily
you're sleeping with them. Itjust means that you're talking
and dating other that thing nowsingle single is nobody's
sending you a good morning textmessage.
(31:23):
You're off to sleep. Yeah. Okay.
Like, I don't know, we none ofus should admit to that.
I now. Yeah, right. I agree. I'mnever I'm never admitting that.
So I'm just single who I admitthat I don't ever
single single. Well, yeah, hedoes. And I asked him, I said,
well, so I answered it. I said,Well, I'm single. And I said,
(31:46):
you know, because I'm talking tothis guy on the other coast. And
so when he came over andwhatnot, so I said, Well, what
are you? And he's like, I'msingle, single? Oh. So saying,
No,I wonder if maybe, do you think
there's any chance he would havebeen saying something like that
to sound like a better magnet?
(32:06):
Like a better because a lot ofgirls do want guys like that? I
mean, I do. I wouldn't guy whojust wants to, but I'm not going
to come out and say because Idon't want to scare him away.
You know what I mean?
You know, I think that's a it'san individual question. Because
I have met men that when theyasked me, you know, if I'm
seeing other people, and as youladies know, that I don't shut
(32:29):
the door on anybody, you know,unless Unless, until you and I
have that conversation ofexclusivity, you know, and all
that stuff. And to some extent,if I start to sleep with you,
then I'm not going to start I'mnot going to be necessarily
dating other people necessarily.
So I'm going to close it offanyways, if I start to sleep
with somebody, so But um,you you start to sleep with
(32:52):
somebody, they close it off aswell before you actually do
that, or does that notnecessarily have to match up for
you?
Um, no, it doesn't have to matchup? No. So So I guess my my
thinking is, I lost my train ofthought.
Well, you know, to be continued,you'll have to let us know.
Checkout our Facebook page for Kate's
update on what her decisionended up being.
(33:13):
All right, ladies. Good night.
All of our listeners. Thank you.
Shout out Sass overfifty@gmail.com Follow us on
Instagram, SASS over 50. Weappreciate it. Thank you
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