“Crazy New Year Resolutions”

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How many are guilty of having New Year resolutions and find that in just a few months those resolutions are out the door? 

What were some of those resolutions and have you ever heard of some that were just plain Crazy? 

Let’s sip on this tea!

Funny New Year Resolutions that we’ve heard

1. Go vegan for six months and inevitably give up.
2. Stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables — and eat them before they turn into green mystery goop in the back of the fridge.
3. Sign up for a marathon that I bravely will not actually run.
4. Go on a vitamin and supplement shopping spree and finish at least one bottle before I give up.
5. Stop lying to myself about following New Year’s resolutions.
6. Go viral on TikTok.
7. Pick movies on Netflix swiftly and decisively so that, you know, I actually hit play before falling asleep.
8. Refuse to acknowledge the entirety of 2022 during social gatherings.
9. Post “New Year, New Me (JK)” on social media
10. Have eyebrows that are symmetrical.
11. Keep kicking ass and taking names, because detailed record-keeping is important.
12. Actually going to the gym and working out instead of wearing workout clothes 24/7.
13. Read more (or at least turn the subtitles on while binge-watching TV).
14. Wake up before noon on the weekends.
15. Don’t text that toxic person back. You know the one. We all have one.
16. Fart in front of my squad with no shame.
17. Stop making lists that include making more lists.
18. Be OK with having to make more than one trip from the car to bring in groceries. The human arm can only hold so much.
19. Floss every day — and not just with wild abandon in the week leading up to a cleaning.
20. Book that bougie trip.
21. Actually put on a full outfit for Zoom calls (although let’s be real, business-on-top-PJs-below never hurt anyone).
22. Get waxed without feeling obligated to make awkward small talk.
23. Stop forcing my family to make New Year’s Resolutions. Word to the wise: Eight-year-olds DGAF.
24. When meeting with friends, I will stop telling the same jokes. Or I’ll make new friends.
25. Harness every bit of willpower I have to not hit the elevator button repeatedly in a futile attempt to make it go faster.
26. Tell the doctor the truth when they ask how many drinks — alcoholic or caffeinated — I have in a month.
27. I will pick fewer Internet fights.
28. I will finish all DIY projects I started.
29. I will be unashamed of the fact that I’m wearing pajamas in public.
30. I will become an internet celebrity
31. I will celebrate obscure holidays.
- [ ] National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day (January 31st): Wrap everything in your cubicle in bubble wrap, from your chair to your stapler to your insulated coffee mug. 
- [ ] National Public Sleeping Day (February 28th): Bring a pillow and blanket to work and nap under your desk during your lunch break. Bonus points if you also wear an old-timey stocking cap while sleeping. 
- [ ] National Two Different Colored Shoes Day (May 3rd): Wear two different colored shoes. This could be as subtle as wearing the same shoe style in different colors, or as obvious as pairing a cowboy moot with a stiletto heel.