The Hat Man: Real Encounters with a Shadow Figure

Who—or what—is The Hat Man? In this chilling episode, we dive deep into the terrifying lore of one of the most infamous shadow people seen around the world. From eerie encounters during sleep paralysis to spine-tingling stories of this dark figure watching from the shadows, we explore The Hat Man’s connection to nightmares, interdimensional theories, and demonic folklore.

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Episode Transcript

(00:09):
Here it is.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Welcome to Scaredycast . Excuse me.
Is this an ASMR podcast?
Episode 286.
What?
Wow.
For real.
Wow.
Yeah, we're coming up on 300.
Dang.
Think it's sometime in August.
Uh, well, I can't really say that.
It hasn't been 300 with me.

(00:30):
It hasn't even been 300 withme, but we're counting it.
300 definitely hasn't been 300 with me.
Yeah.
All right.
Cool, whatever.
It's episode 300 of the show.
That's insane.
Scared us with or without us.
We should do a, we shoulddo a Spartan, uh, one.
We all come in.
Oh, we all wear, all be Xerxes, noshirts and no, you can be the, you can
be back sauce or whatever His name,back sauce, the little guy that's all

(00:50):
like with all the like nymphs and stuff.
Is that his name?
His back sauce.
It just sounds like that.
He goes, that feels gross.
Goes, he goes, there's, there'ss's scene that kills me.
He just goes.
Call yourself back Sauce.
And I'm like Back sauce.
Maybe it's like Bax.
Yeah.
Don't think it's back sauce.
But the way he says it, I'mlike, yeah, I forgot his name.
I haven't seen the moviein a long time either.
Back sauce is very uh, we're gonna comein all like sparking up very Greek.

(01:12):
Let's do it.
Let me take care of this businessstuff and then we'll get down to the
Spooky because Scaredy Cast is broughtto you by the lovely folks at Value.
Go to value.com and use CodeScaredy to save you a few bucks.
But you can go to their websiteright now because it's bulk month.
Ooh, that's right.
You can go to value.com and find out howyou can save 20% when you buy in bulk.

(01:39):
We are also brought to you by Fright.
Rags.
I got my Halloween Frightrag shirt on today.
Hell yeah.
I was wearing my Elvira one yesterday.
Anyways, nevermind.
I did not know.
I did not like Clock that, thatwas that song for way too long.
Right.

(01:59):
I know.
Uh, they just came out with some,uh, clown in a cornfield stuff.
Oh yeah.
That just, yeah, it just came out.
Sure did.
Creepy.
That was fast.
They have a, uh, they have some day ofthe dead 40th anniversary stuff coming.
Neat.
And they're gonna have a midnightmadness sale for final destinations.

(02:20):
Ooh.
So that's something got coming up.
Dang heck.
Yeah.
We are also brought to you by HorrorMonger Collectibles, the coolest horror
store out in the east side of the townhere in Phoenix, east Side, and Mesa.
Bea on Mesa in town baby.
Make sure you go to horror monger.com.
Check out what they got going on.
They have a couplesignings coming up here.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Uh, they have Dr. Satan himself.

(02:42):
Oh, Dr. Satan is coming.
So get ready for him.
He will be at Horror Mongeron May 31st and June 1st.
Both days, two days.
Go get some shit.
Signed.
Signed you, signed, you go, go meet 'em.
Say hello to was, it was Chris Har.
Chris Hardwick say it.
He goes like,

(03:03):
what was that?
How was it?
That's gonna be a good TikTok.
Yeah, I like that.
Do the, do the, do theJavas now from Star Wars.
What?

(03:26):
That's,
uh, anyways, go ahead.
Have a new Patreon.
Woo.
Tracy.
Tracy.
Tracy.
Oh, Tracy Paton.
Yep.
Tracy's the coolest.
What?
Oh man.
She, she's the coolest in her like newJewish accent and the thing she says,

(03:47):
we just, uh, always smile, hung out withher a little bit a couple weeks ago.
She rules 'cause we sawher at WrestleMania.
What, what we saw herat Small World wasn't.
It was at WW World.
Oh, okay.
The morning, what a small worldof night one in WrestleMania.
But yeah, we, uh, hung out for alittle bit and she was super cool.
And it was the first timemy kid love Lucas met her.

(04:08):
And then it was like after we met her,everything we were doing for the rest
of the weekend, he was always like,are we gonna hang out with Tracy again?
Aw, is Tracy gonna be there?
Are we gonna go meet up with Tracy?
This is his first crush.
And then he says.
How do you have the coolest friends?
Aww.
And I'm like, I man,just she's married Lukey.
Sorry bud.
I just block out the bullshitters.

(04:29):
Sorry dude.
No bullshitter.
I can't bullshit a bullshitter.
So, oh, I have one more thingabout WrestleMania really quick.
Sorry.
It is relevant.
You'll love it, don't worry.
Mm-hmm.
Um, now that, that's on, every timeWW has come to Phoenix, not every
time, but like since I startedgoing again with my kid, when we're

(04:51):
walking up to the arena to go inside.
The past three times weran into Angel City Arts.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Every time it's like, wow.
To the point we're DMing each otherlike, Hey, guess I'll see you tonight.
See you at the top dudethere a small world.
And then so small, coming up, upWrestleMania weekend, we were like,
are we gonna see each other way?
We night two, which was the lastnight we were getting ready to

(05:15):
go home, but, uh, there was acouple surprises during the show.
Which meant new merch went intothe store at the, at the stadium.
So it was like, fuck, I guess wegotta go get the go, get one of the
new shirts, let's go pay a hundreddollars for shirt because they
don't A shirt don't it out before.
'cause you know they can't spoil it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so we're getting the shirts, we'rewalking out, getting ready to walk outta
the stadium to the car to drive home.

(05:38):
And right on our way out.
That's crazy.
We Angel City Arts again.
Yo.
We're like, we did it.
That's amazing.
The odds of that even happeninghere in Phoenix are so slim.
Right.
But the fact that it's always been thesame event over and over and over again.
And like, you're not goingoutta your way to coordinate.
It's hard not to find someone in Vegas.
Yeah.
Trying to coordinate with them.
Yeah.
And you're like, I can't fucking find you.
Like I hope you're alive.
Like Right.

(05:59):
Have.
That's crazy fun.
I guess we'll talk about it later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Send me your pictures.
You at the hotel.
I'll send you my pictures.
Right, right.
Oh my God.
That's crazy.
And if for people, if you haven't heardus talk about them, they, we, we always,
always, always see them at tons of things.
They were, uh, I forgot whatthe name of the marketplace was.
It was like the Halloween Yes.
Collector's marketplace thing.

(06:20):
It was like the very firstevent thing we ever did.
And yeah.
And it was outside and it was hot.
It was outside in August andI almost had a heat stroke.
Well, we had one lady come up andnot only recognize us, but then she
said, can I get your guys' autograph?
And we just stared at her likeyou're like, she must have us

(06:40):
confused with somebody else.
Yeah.
And we're like, we didn't bringa pen or a marker or anything.
We're like, uh, and Angel City Arts here.
She hands me There wereour neighbors there.
Yeah.
She hands me, uh, I think if, if Iremember right, it was like one of
those, uh, pens that looked like asyringe and you can like tilt it.
It goes up.
And I was like, thank you.
And then we signed and then, sorry, art.

(07:03):
And then we ended up being uh,besties and now we see them all the
time and we love them and mm-hmm.
Nine months later we had a boy.
There you go.
His name is Art.
Yeah.
We love them.
Damn.
That's crazy.
That's crazy And very cool.
Dom Danielle.
Damn Daniel.
Damn.
Back at it again at it again.
Angel City Arts at Angel City Arts.
Make sure you guys go look upAngel City Arts on Instagram.
They're amazing people.
Or look up that dead ass meme.

(07:23):
Um, Kelsey, what do we got today?
Hmm.
Got a creep of the week for us.
I got some listener questions.
Oh, do, let's, uh, I think we shouldstart with listener questions.
I like starting out those.
I'm gonna jump into some listener.
I do.
I don't know if I like these.
Uh, we have a, we had somebody asked us.
Um, people don't like our answers.

(07:45):
Oh God, no.
They're so mad at usabout this Stephen King.
Oh God.
I'm so going.
I'm like, did you not listento anything that we said?
Well, like we mentionedlike a few really good ones.
We, we just asked, I mean, thequestion was like, what is the best.
What do you think is thebest Stephen King movie?
Mm-hmm.
Which means what is your personal opinion?
Not what is not in everyStephen King movie ever made.

(08:05):
And oh my God, we got littleassholes in these comments.
Like, I can't believe youdidn't say The Shining.
I'm like, that's the first thing I said.
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Did what you listen Hedidn't watch the video.
Yeah.
Also, I didn't know, did he reallysay, did he really do Shawshank
and Green Mile and all that?
Honestly, he didn't likeeven think about those.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, I had no idea.

(08:26):
I would've said those, but I literallydon't care about Stephen King.
Stephen King just has so many greatmovies, like, not even just all of his
books, like, it's just, it's impossibleto name like, you know what I mean?
You're gonna name something and thensomeone's gonna be like, do what to hear.
Well, I'm just, I'm just ignorant'cause I don't really care.
So take that to talk.
Anyways, little assholes in the comments.

(08:46):
Who are so mad at us, butthen they're saying they're
spelling Steven's name wrong.
They're spelling with a V.
So I've just been likecorrecting their fucking shit.
You're not a real fan.
Yeah, and like, oh man,you guys must not be real.
Stephen.
Stephen King fans, Stefan andI, my dad's spelled this way,
like, dude, let me out, man.
I'll make video repliesto every one of 'em.

(09:06):
Then get in there and do it.
Nah, I don't have time.
They're there.
I have a stupid job.
Have the guts.
They're just there waiting for you.
Man.
Doesn't have the guts.
I swear to you, if I got paidfulltime to talk shit in the
comments, I'd fucking do it.
I quit my job tomorrow.
You know what?
You can get fulltime.
Just start it now, and then it'lllead to you just talking shit.
Full time minutes.
Anyways.
I'm been paid in liketwo and a half months.
Damn.
I really need money.
You need to quit that job.

(09:27):
I have to get paid.
What?
Are you still working there?
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
You mean the one that shut down?
I have a new job, yes, but Istill So you're not getting
paid at your new job either.
Not until hopefully Friday.
Mean, hopefully Brian, what in the fuck?
Hopefully that's not very hard.
Hey, people that are employing Brian, youfucking pay him or I'm coming down there.

(09:49):
No.
And you don't want me to comedown there because I swear to
God, God, dude, this and this.
You're coming with me.
What are their names?
Fucking Mrs. Thomas.
Thomas.
Pay Brian.
Pay Brian.
Pay Brian.
Pay Brian.
Pay Brian.
Pay Brian.
Dude, I wish you were my dad.
Damn.
Pay him up.

(10:10):
Swear to God.
That was so cool dude.
You should be a wrestler.
Too old.
Nah shave.
Never.
You could, that's your gig.
That's your shtick, dude.
You're just, or I'm workingright now, middle age.
I have to like, just like, so like I gottatake pictures of like things and they're
kind of like heavy, not super heavy.
Like 50 pounds.
Are you like, Ooh.
But like just picking one upand carrying it to the back and

(10:30):
putting it in like the photo box.
I'm like, oh fuck.
That's good though.
This is the young man.
That's good.
Oh, I can't be walking around.
Oh shit.
Wire up.
You can't be walking, bewalking, be using my legs.
What the fuck are these things for?
Fuck man.
Just can't be walking.
I can't be as, you just like,probably walked like a million
miles for WrestleMania.

(10:51):
Like, oh God.
I walked so much.
And that's why I was sick forlike two and a half weeks.
He didn't, he didn't walk.
He was floating in WrestleManiathis week, just this past Monday.
So like, two days ago was the firstday where I finally felt like a
hundred percent back to normal.
Okay.
Like, like fighter always say like,three weeks after a fight, they
can't even like walk at normal.
I was so messed up.
Anyways, listener questions.

(11:12):
Let's get to it.
Yeah.
Let's, let's get to it.
What do we do?
Oh, by the way, um, no, by the way, I'mjumping into listener questions right now.
All right.
I, I guess it's notrelevant and doesn't matter.
What is it?
I'm waiting now.
It's too late, man.
God, I've been dismissed.
I'm sitting here waiting.
I've been, I've been patient.
Okay.
This is an easy one.

(11:33):
Okay.
Maybe simple question.
We'll see what horrorsoundtrack is your favorite?
Now, before people start going crazyin the comments, this is our favorite.
Not what is the best.
So don't get mad when I amlike, you know what, Friday 13th
part three is kind of a banger.
I love that soundtrack top to bottom.

(11:54):
You know what I think what I talkabout this movie all the time though,
but it's because it's so great.
What is it?
28 days later?
Yeah, that is really good music.
That sound.
Oh, you hear that and you'relike, oh, it's just creep.
It just sets the tone so well.
Mm. Um, I'll say that, but Imean obviously most iconic jaws.
Yeah.
That TikTok trend right now that'shappening with that is so funny.

(12:15):
The Jaws music where it's like, if I hearlike for example, be like, sorry, oh,
I hear someone fighting or something.
Like I hear a couplefighting and it's like boon.
And you're like getting closer tolike the like, and you're like kinda
looking and trying not to look.
You guys don't knowwhat I'm talking about.
Nope.
Boomers, I don't know how to use my phone.
Yeah, I think I would say 20,like just off the top of my head,

(12:35):
I'm gonna say 20 days later, Iwould say, see my plan worked.
You know what though?
There are some that are really like good.
They have like just good music in general.
Yeah.
Not like original music, but I'mnot thinking of them right now.
Like the Crow, well, I'll say this, butThe Crow has a great score, but then also
has just like a great like music, likesong soundtrack, the Queen of the Damned

(12:56):
horrible movie, but the music, all that.
The soundtrack.
Soundtrack.
Oh my God, God.
You got like, so Corn, LincolnPark, static X, so good.
Multiple songs, like it's so fucking good.
Right?
It's very industrial.
That's a, excuse me, a really good one.
But those are weird because whenthey're not original soundtracks,
they're like a compilation.
Sorry, I'm just burping.

(13:17):
It's a sting back to pay.
Uh.
What is the, uh, movie I was?
Oh, um, American.
We in London.
I know, I know.
But it is the songs that they pick,like Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising and
the way they do it and like in contrastto the scenes that they're in when
they're playing is hilarious to me.

(13:38):
And I think that they justlike, they really nail it.
Um, as far as original soundtracks, Ireally like, it follows because Disaster
Piece is, uh, an artist that I followedbefore and then when I, I was like
listening to the soundtrack and I waslike, holy shit, I wonder if, and I looked
it up and I was like, oh, it's my guy.
So I'll say, uh, it follows,let's just throw that out there.

(14:00):
I can't, I don't know.
It's not my favorite.
Can't wait for they follow.
I'm so excited for that.
It's the only one Ican think of right now.
I like the, I likeFriday 13th, part three.
I like Halloween part three.
I think that's all the part threes.
I like just the threes.
So the threes are what you're going with?
I like, I don't really, I mean, threeand Friday, three part three soundtracks.
Other than hearing like, I meanI like a lot more, but like top

(14:23):
two, those are definitely it.
Okay.
Other than hearing like the Freddythe 13th or um, like the Halloween,
you know, dude, dude, dude.
Do like for on a ringtone or something.
It's like, I've never really hadan outstanding iconic soundtrack
that I can recall in horror movies.
'cause I remember the movies.
I don't really remember them.
Yeah.
But I mean, they're not that they're bad.
I don't know.
I guess I just never really,they don't do soundtracks like

(14:44):
they used to, that's for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like big movie that come out wouldhave like one song that was like,
that's like an original, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like sometimes two like every, likeBatman Forever and Batman Returns.
How Venom Blade.
Blade, that's a good one.
The fricking.
And they're doing likea run rate blood rage.

(15:06):
Remember the Spawn soundtrack spawn?
That one was sick.
Like every song was like a new songand it was like crystal method and
filter like Metallica and this MarilynManson and like corn and somebody else.
Like it was like two totallydifferent types of sound.
But like, didn't he dothat for Godzilla too?
Or like one the Godzillamovies Godzilla do that.
No, Godzilla was just, itwas that Puff Daddy song he

(15:29):
covered that Led Zeppelin song.
Oh, that's, or something like that.
Sounds horrible.
And then, uh, the Wallflowers oh,covered David Bowie's heroes for it.
We could be hitting, did I usedto play that Godzilla soundtrack?
All the time.
All the time.
When was the last time youlistened to your Ninja Turtles?
Soundtracks just like a couple weeks ago.

(15:50):
That, and he's got Bill and Tedon cassette in the front seat.
Hell yeah.
Dude.
You know what though?
Like if we're just talking tosoundtracks in general mm-hmm.
I would say for Gump.
Oh yeah, dude.
That incredible curve ever.
Yeah.
That's, that's like a Americana.
Yeah.
That it's best.
I don't think you're evergonna have a, a better one.
Well, plus that movie's likefive hours long, so it's like
you have so many songs in there.

(16:12):
Next question.
Oh yeah.
Forgot what we were doing.
What in your mind.
Mm-hmm.
What in your mind makes a goodhorror movie and a bad horror movie?
I'll say this right now, I'vesaid this a hundred times.
I'll say it again.
A good horror movie has good jump scarce,but a great horror movie doesn't need 'em.

(16:34):
Oh, little psychological thrilleror, or just like it, it's intense.
Or it doesn't have to go Yeah,because then everybody jumps.
Yeah.
But it's like.
Let me look at it and just feel horrifiedlooking at it like, like those guys
that on the Monday morning you guyswill have to, you know, pay to, uh, get
into, but when they open the door andsaw all those bodies, that's the horror.

(16:56):
I don't need a screaming in myface and all this shit blowing up.
It's like, no, because in everyhorror movie, you know what ruins
'em stupid fucking jump scares.
Where it's like some lady's lookingat her phone and then a car door slams
and her kid's like, mom, can we go yet?
And it's like, and it'ssupposed to be all scary.
And I'm like, this sucks.

(17:17):
That was really good.
This, but you know what I'm saying,you've seen it or one, what was it?
I think it was smile.
It was like opening a tuna can and itwas all, and I was like, Jesus fuck.
Really?
The cat?
Really the cat?
I think, yeah.
Was it the smile that did that?
It was that or like, I forgot.
There was something I rememberthat you talking about.
You know that one hada bunch of jump scares.
There was like, it was likethere was so many jump scares.
This movie where I wasn't even gettingscared anymore because I was like, someone

(17:39):
slams the phone, someone closes a door.
Everything was so fuckingdrop the water bottle.
That doesn't make itscary 'cause it's loud.
Idiots make scary movies anyways.
Sometimes it does.
That's my opinion.
There's your answer.
I think there's a lot of things thatseparate good horror movies from bad
horror movies and what ruins them.
Uh, I think it's like, I thinkinfamously, unfortunately, horror movies
are not known to have the best acting.

(18:01):
Mm-hmm.
So if it, if it leans into like, thecampiness of it, I think it can make
a bad movie enjoyable because you'relike, okay, it's leaning into it.
Ones that are trying to takeit self too seriously and
it's bad acting and too campy.
I can't, I was just gonna say though,that that's weird coming from you
though, because there are some,like, you know, that are like, okay,
this is not inherently a good movie,but like, it leans into what it is.

(18:24):
Like, you know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
Like, and there's some, like, I'll reviewthis one a little bit later, but I just
watched this movie and was like, mycousin and I were talking we're like,
is does this know it's a bad movie?
Is it trying to do this?
Like, you know what I mean?
And it's like, are they liketrying to be corny and like they're
just not doing a good job of it?
Are you just being shittyon purpose for real though?
Did try, are you trying,or is this a joke?

(18:47):
But I think a great horror movie islike, when they treat it like a movie.
Like, you mean like, like.
Art, like the substance, there you go.
Like, you know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
Like where it's like theytreat it as like, okay, we're
gonna do the best that we can.
It's like, it's gonna be an original idea.
Like, you know, we have great acting,like, you know, everyone top to
bottom is just like doing their part.
Um, that's an interesting point.

(19:08):
It's kind of like when, when someonetakes a horror movie, seriously.
Mm-hmm.
And not being, not no jokes oranything like that, but just
like when you actually try.
Hmm.
That's a good point.
And once again, why I made the pointabout weird al people immediately,
oh, it's, it's comedy, music.
He's not a real musician.
Ah, it's not, no, he's not, you know,it's like, oh, there's Vy Stein and all
these crazy shredders on guitar, and thenthere's weird Al who plays an accordion

(19:30):
and makes, you know, parody songs.
But it's like, that doesn't makehim a, any less of a musician.
B, a performer, or C an entertainer.
Mm-hmm.
He's just as qualified and I knowpeople that love music and they've been
to a hundred concerts and they saidweird owls was still the best by far.
We are just talking about music.
Is it weird Al that hasa No, that's Tiny Tim.

(19:52):
Oh, that's Tiny Tim.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
That one is scary.
That music is, dude, thatshit's so overplayed though.
That's, I know, but like, because Ilook up that, like the horror films.
Yeah, I know.
But then I'll try and slow it down totry and make it all scary, you know?
It's, um, Tony, you infamously love bad.
I do movies.
So what, like, so yeah.

(20:12):
What makes it bad or good to you?
Um, I don't like it too long.
Whenever they are tryingto be too bad on purpose.
Mm. Um, like, I like it whenever it'slike they set out to make a good movie.
But it's so bad.
Like the, like the birds, like they'retrying to make a bad movie, not the Birds.

(20:33):
What was the one that we like?
Emmic.
Emmic.
Yeah.
Or like, but he believesit Maximum Overdrive.
You know, like that's not a goodmovie, but it's fucking awesome.
Like that movie Rules andI'll watch it all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, like, you know, it's like ifthey're like, oh God, I forget what the

(20:55):
last one I saw was that was like it, butit was just like, you know, it's like
one of those movies where it's titledlike, oh, they're trying to be bad.
Like, you know, like, oh, they'retrying to make a bad horror movie.
Mm Oh yeah.
But they end up just making a bad movie.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Where people are, who are like,there are some that are like,
oh, we're making like, you know.

(21:16):
Sounds like going into this, you'relike, oh, this is gonna be one
of those, you know, weird movies.
Mm-hmm.
But then it's like, oh, thisis actually a good movie.
Yeah.
You've reviewed a lot of those.
'cause you go in thinking thisis, this is gonna be awful.
This looks terrible.
Then you're like, whoa.
And I go in super blind right now, too.
Like, I don't watch, especiallyif it's a horror movie.
I don't watch any trailer.
Can you, can you name an exampleof a movie that you really hated?

(21:38):
Because they did exactly that,where they were just like, I know.
Oh man.
They were trying so hardand they were just shitty.
Because I feel like, as much asI love the film, people could say
that about, um, here for Blood.
Yeah.
They could be like, oh, that was justsome dumb, like, it was just filmed
in his kitchen and like, whatever.
But it's like, I loved it.
I like that movie.
I thought it was good.

(21:59):
Right.
Even though like there's nosubstance to it, it's silly.
The whole thing is, butit's, it's entertaining.
It's fun.
Mm-hmm.
It's hard to draw that line, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Because I don't think you like,you know it when you know it, hun.
I didn't think you likesleep Away camp that much.
You know, and maybe, I don't knowif it was just your first watch,
but you were just like, yeah,it's just not really my thing.
Like it was fine, but youjust didn't like, love it.

(22:20):
And that's his favorite movie of all time.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I think I'm lookingback through my letter box.
Okay.
I think the last movie was The Mouse Trap.
Yes, that's the word.
I remember.
It was like the Killer Mickey Mouse.
It was either that one or,and it's like, holy shit, this
is not a good movie at all.
Like mm-hmm.
You said, did you even finish it?

(22:41):
I've like, I hit the skip tensecond buttons a couple times
just because it was like so bad.
There was just scenes that werejust like, why are we still here?
Oh, mine was, we've done, yeah.
This scene has doneeverything it needs to do.
Can I have it?
We can now go to the next scene.
Oh.
But we're still here.
Just I have, I have a good one.
Uh, sharks of the Corn.
Yeah, that was the one I couldn'tget through the first 10 minutes.

(23:02):
I was like, I mean that doesn't soundlike it's gonna be a promising Right.
But I was like, you never know though.
You never know.
But I needed to know.
Yeah.
How they were gonna portray thesharks going through the cornfield.
They were just in the air.
Right.
I needed to know.
And then at first, you know, as shittybee horror movies, do you start off with
a nice, like titty scene and you're like,cool, there's gonna be boobs in this.
I'm into it.
Nice.

(23:22):
First Shark of the Corn, I was like, Nope.
Off.
I need a lot.
Shark of Corn.
Were they like floating or like were theylike literally swimming through the corn?
It was like, yeah, it waslike floating and swimming.
Like, like you just drag a clip.
Art like a little gif, justlike through the thing.
And it's just like, Ineed to watch this movie.
It's terrible.
Yeah.
Floating and swimming.
Damn.
I love stupid shit like that.

(23:43):
I know, but it, but see,what was the Turkey one?
Um, thanks.
Killing where he's like,you just got stuffed bitch.
Like after he fucks her andthen kills her mean the Turkey.
That's funny because it'sa silly little Turkey.
Sharks of the corn is like, there'sno, it's just a fucking shitty
shark floating through corn fields.
It's just like, this is notterrorizing Iowans everywhere.

(24:05):
It's like bird demic where they just put'em on the screen static and they're just
like constantly doing the same stuff.
So loud.
Yeah.
And then there's just this girl,big old floppy titties, just
like, oh, I just shard in the car.
And I'm like, I, I definitely needto check our shark to the cord.
Tony is like, we need toend this episode right now.
I gotta go home.
Yeah.

(24:26):
Floppy titties.
Why didn't you start with that?
Going in the benko Dko.
What's the main topicwe got to talk about?
Well, that f was that allfor your listener questions?
Yes.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Um, I don't have a main topic.
Okay.
I do wanna talk about the last US episode.
I'm talking, I thought you had beforewe get that, I do have some stuff.
You do have, have something.

(24:46):
Well, so I took your advice.
And, um, I guess tiktoks or Instagramdevice, whoever the comments was.
Hat man, I've been seeing abunch of stuff about Hat Man.
Hat Man.
And I don't know what it is and it scaredme and I was, it was late at night.
Isn't you like a peer in your bedroom?
Yeah.
Like, or like just aroundyour house or something.
I don't what We'll find out.
So tell us about Hat man, Brian.
Okay.
I I was gonna give you guys thechoice between, uh, we're either gonna

(25:09):
talk a bunch of shit about Hat man.
No, no.
Or we're gonna do, I'm just tooscared or we're gonna do Hat Man.
But it sounds like we're gonna, whatare we gonna talk about your shit?
That's next episode.
Oh, Ooh, clinger.
And it's gonna be, we'll see you shittalkers next week when we talk about that.
Yeah.
And it might be a little spicy in thecomments because, oh, just because

(25:32):
are we finally gonna, the jury's out?
Are we gonna finallytalk about No, no, no.
It's nothing that big.
No, no.
God no.
No, no.
Okay, we're gonna get introuble if we do that.
No, with who?
I love.
Oh, bullshit.
With me, with me.
I love how he's the one that's like, youcan't cuss when we do stuff with sponge.
You can't do this when we do stuff.
And now all of a suddenhe's like, fuck it.
Let's start shit.
No, man.

(25:52):
You can't do that.
Not lying.
Lying around.
Not cuss out.
Every celebrity you guys talkabout and all these other
people because you're a hater.
Brian.
Start talking about the hat man.
Or else Hat man else.
I'm gonna tell your job towithhold your pay longer.
Tony's actually beenpulling the strings behind.
He's a good, he's an account.
Actually, can you guyswait till next week?
You know what?
Give him another week.
He's an accounting now.
Don't this Monday.

(26:13):
No lunch break.
Oh dude, I don't eventake one work through it.
They take 45 minutes out of my page orout of my day and we never clock out.
You're, and you're just take,you're supposed to take a lunch.
But I'm like, that sounds illegal.
Well, how do they take 45minutes out when you're not this?
Are you sure you're workingfrom an actual company?
You stop working for the businessevery which wine in the back alley.

(26:35):
He's like, I got a job for you.
Let's talk about something not so scary.
Let's talk about the hat man.
He's not scary.
No, because, no, I'm saying, arewe doing not as scary as knocking
the job market in America?
Oh, okay.
That's true.
So, how many of you, Iknow you know the Hat man.
Did you know about the Hat Man?
A bit.
You heard about The Hat Man, I've heard.
I didn't know about him until I sawdifferent things about Hat Mans.

(26:57):
So what were they saying in thecomments that was just like, you
guys gotta, you gotta look into 'em,was why were they bringing it up?
It was, it just was like a bunch ofdifferent tiktoks that I saw that
people were saying like, oh, like, Ithink it also started with like the
crypted one that you were asking.
Mm-hmm.
Is Jesus a crypted?
And then people were saying like,hat Man, and like, oh, you gotta
like, look this up wherever.
And then it took me down arabbit hole and I got scared.
Okay, well, perfect.

(27:18):
So buckle up Buckaroos.
Oh no.
So the Haman's pretty creepy.
And there's a, there's a, a sentence thatI'll read in here, and that's what got me.
And I was like, mm mm Gives youthose little ba heebie-jeebies,
you know, chili willies.
This is a, it's a very strange, I thinkit's strange because it's like unanimous.

(27:39):
Basically hat man only existsas the collective conscious
of everybody that's seen him.
So Freddie Kruger.
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh, it's like the more you talk about him,or like the more you know about him, like
the more he's sort of, but not in a, in amuch less way because he's very indirect.
Whereas Freddy Kruger's like,so, bitch, I'm in your dreams.
I'm gonna cut your face.

(27:59):
I'm gonna finger you.
I'm Whoa.
He says weird shit like that.
I'm gonna cut your ticks off.
I don't think I've ever heardFreddie Cougar say that, but,
well, you're watching a differentFreddie Cougar seen Yeah.
One night in Freddy's.
You're watching a Nightmare on Mybedroom or something like that.
So I, I'm gonna start like this.
All right.
Nightmare on Dick Street.

(28:19):
Nice.
Um, the Hat Man is typicallyseen as a silhouette.
Mm-hmm.
So we wanna describe features.
Typically when we talk aboutcryptos, you know, or whatever.
Cryptids.
This guy, he's verystrange because he's just.
Uh, uh, not more of a shape than anything.
Mm. But he's, uh, typically seen wearing,think of like a fedora or a top hat.

(28:41):
Something.
I hate fedoras.
There's always, I know my lady, he'sa, he's an incel, he's a neck beard.
Um, so sorry.
Everybody out there wearing fedoras?
Yeah.
Do not like fedoras.
I'm sorry.
It's just very fewpeople can pull 'em off.
It's the, you know.
So who's your favorite Fedora wearer?
Oh, that could be like,like Jason Raz, I guess.
Harry.
It's the only one.
Harry Connick, Jr. Uh, sure.

(29:03):
I think I saw LL Cool J once.
Wear a fedora.
He could do it.
I'll go with him.
No.
Cool.
He's bold.
He's gonna cut.
I think even ll cool J can't pulloff a fedora that's saying something.
It's the worst hat.
It's the worst hat ever.
I'm gonna try to see it isthe worst hat imaginable.
Whoever made a fedora, change your mind.
I'm Google searching.
LL Cool J. Cool.
J Fedora.
Michael Fedra.
Now hat man's gonna come from me guys.
'cause I fuck.

(29:24):
Come on.
Tell me.
Tell me moment.
No, I don't believe you.
I gotta see it.
Wait, we have anotherfemale in the room, boo.
What is, that's not,that's not a fedora though.
Fedra.
It's not.
That's not a fedora.
Then what is it?
A bowler cat.
Like a top cat.
It's not a bowler cap either.
What is it?
Either or a top hat.
It's like a, what the hell?
Don't you know?
Hats.

(29:44):
Kelsey.
Shelby.
Is this a fedora?
It's not a fedora.
No, thank you.
It's too a fedora.
Thank you.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
This is, I'm sorry.
Then why is the number one imagewhen I search LL Cool j Fedora?
Because it's just, it'sbecause you just don't know.
Look at that.
That is a fedora.
This is AA feda.
That's what he's fucking wearing.
No, no.
That's just chasing.
No, that's longer.
Longer.

(30:04):
That's longer.
How about, cool.
Jay, will you please respond to thisand tell us if right here, this is
you wearing a fedora, and if not,will you tell us what hat this is?
Because I say it's a fedora.
Also loved you in Halloween,H2O and Deep Blue Sea.
Oh, uh, thanks.
Ai.
And seeing Anaconda too is nottypically seen in a fedora while

(30:26):
he is known for wearing hats.
His signature look is aKle Bermuda casual hat.
Way different than a fedora, clearly.
Oh.
Apparently he started wearinghats to cover a scar in his
head from a childhood accident.
Oh, no sense.
That's, you're talking about thishat that's a no, that's like a golfer
hat, like, that's like kangle hats.
What a kle.
Keep your, keep your KLEs, man.

(30:47):
Keep your KLEs away from me.
That's what Samuel Jackson always wears.
Oh yeah.
We're supposed to be talking about Yeah.
Hat.
Hat.
You're talking about hat man.
Oh man.
There's a lot of hat mans aroundyou guys remember bucket hats?
I always hated bucket K.They're making a comeback.
Did they have a finkle?
See, that's a kangle hat.
That's brand, not the type.
Horrible.
All right, so anyways, it'slike a Scottish golf hat.
I hate it.

(31:08):
What Samuel Jackson wears all the time.
He looks great at him.
Oh yeah, he did.
Okay.
He could pull off of a door bit.
Yeah, he can.
Some people, uh, some witnesseshave reported seeing glowing red
eyes, but typically not consistent.
It's usually just, uh, thehat and the shadow we form.
Um, the most common reported context Iknow you guys have heard before is during

(31:29):
sleep paralysis is when they see it.
And I've actually told you myexperience, but it wasn't a hat man.
It was more like a grim reaper.
Oh god.
But still featureless,completely featureless and no,
no discernible sth or anything.
It was just a hooded.
Is that or worse when it's justlike a blob instead of like,
you can't see like a face.
Like is that scarier?
I know, no.
'cause I mean, I, I say so.

(31:50):
Yeah, because like if you see a face,you at least have like a target to what?
Hitch?
Get up and catch, catch these hands.
You're paralyzed, dude.
You're paralyzed.
Hell no, ain't.
Okay.
I guess he's not just sleep.
He said I couldn't even walklike after No, don't bust.
Right outta that sleep paralysisand beat you in the face.
Put your own hat.
Yeah.

(32:10):
Don't take that hat off your head.
Slap you wrong with it.
Individuals, uh, often findthemselves awake but unable to
move often experiencing vividand terrifying hallucinations.
And the Hat Man is a frequent guest.
I thought you gonna say Hat Man's a freak.
He's a freak of nature.
Yeah.
Down.
He a freaky with a Fedor.
So it's not a good signwhen you see Hat Man.
No.
Okay.
So I don't know if he was like a nice onethat's like, Hey, he's a perfect 10 buddy.

(32:34):
He wear's a Fedor Linkhat Man see's not so easy.
Is it Ms. Dickerson?
Will you just continue on this handman?
Ignore what she's doing to that Terrifi.
That Terrifi amplifier, thatart, that art clown terrifi.
It's one of them.
Nintendos, get off your Nintendos,get off your Nintendo, whatever.
Please took your ju some accounting,catman sightings to times of significant

(32:56):
emotional distress, grief or trauma.
He might appear during moments ofheightened anxiety or depression.
I've gone through all that andI ain't seen no hamman once.
Same.
The only time I, I did it whereI had that happen as, yeah, it
wasn't really that, but whatever.
Some pile of clothes.
How about substance use?
Hmm.
Tony, you've been using any substances?
Pow devil's.

(33:16):
Lettuce.
I say butter some reef.
I get up into my own brain.
Brain sometimes though, 'causelike I'll have like a, I'll have
like a aneurysm, a gummy or likea, A taffy or something like that.
You get paranoid.
I'm on three right now and I'll like put,it's usually like right when I'm going to
bed, like I'm going around checking thedoors, making sure everything's locked.
You know, doing myusual nighttime routine.
But then in my brain I'll be like.

(33:37):
Did I do that?
Yo, what if like a goblin justjumped outta the closet right now?
Fucked.
And then I'm like, I start gettinglike, and like, look at Goblin.
Don't jump outta the closet right now.
That's when he like, turn allthe lights off really quick
and like run down the hall.
And it's like that one time wheneverI, uh, Lucas had fell asleep on the
couch 'cause he was sleeping on thecouch for some reason during this time.
Like he just like sleep on the couch.

(33:57):
And I was like, I don't care whereyou sleep, see wherever you want.
My parents never let me do that.
But he was asleep.
Everybody else upstairs asleep.
And I was like, I'm gonna go and have mea little, uh, I'm gonna partake upstairs
real quick and then come back down and I'mgonna watch some, I'm gonna watch a movie.
You were gonna masturbate?
No.
Oh.
I did that later.
Uh, so I went upstairs.
Don't wanna hear about that.

(34:18):
I had my, uh, my little, my weedpen watching Sharks of the corn.
Took a couple, you know, hits off that.
Whoa.
Fix that real quick.
No, but it, it's gonna go.
Uh, and then I came back is a hat man.
Shush.
I came back downstairs andI thought Lucas was asleep.
Oh God.
And I turned on the tv.
I start watching TV and he justsits up like the fucking undertaker.

(34:40):
Oh, so cool.
And he says to me, what if agiant scorpion just ripped the
roof off the house right now?
Oh my God.
And you're like, what?
And I was like, I was like, I just saidto him like, that'd be pretty crazy, man.
Like, better go back to sleep.
And then I just started sittingthere and I look up, I'm like, fuck.
What if like, would it,would it make a noise?
Would it scream, would it be like a zilla?

(35:02):
What if a giant scorpion rib?
I need a giant ant to helpme fight the giant scorpion.
Like in Honey Ihr, the kids,we, we take the same gummies.
Yeah.
How do you get so fucked up?
Because you probably takethem every single day.
Yeah.
On three, bro.
I have like one every two weeks.
Oh.
It's like, dude, honestly, you're dead on.

(35:23):
Our tolerance levels are much different.
Yeah.
I haven't been able to smoke.
Like whenever we had the, uh, the rabbithole nights here that one time and you ate
one on the show and you're perfectly fine.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my God.
Where whenever I take them, I have like15 minutes tops to get my ass into bed
or I'm gonna fall asleep on the floor.
I took two reds and a blue,uh, taffy before here.
Yeah.
See, like, I wouldn't literally insane.

(35:44):
I'd be, I don't even know.
Well, I have to, I haveto have it counteract.
You know how people say like, oh, you,you, you drink, it'll slow you down and
you smoke cigarettes to balance you out.
You know, you your butt.
It's like me and gummies anduh, Adderall, you know, I gotta
throttle back a little bit.
So we take a few gummies.
Ah, pump the brakes.
And now I can do the podcast.
But after this, don't do drugs.

(36:04):
Kids drugs are bad.
They're pretty.
Unless you the fruit valuees, unless you go to value es
those aren't even drugs man.
He code scared.
Those are code scaredy value es com candy.
Alright.
They're delicious.
So, um, obviously, uh, peoplethat have been on substances have
hallucinated him so they, that youadd, or even people going through
withdrawals tend to see him more.
I feel like Hat Man is like a miniboss on a ghost hunt because I feel

(36:29):
like every ghost hunting show I'vewatched, they say they always encount
a or talk about oh, they've, there'sbeen sightings of the Hat Man here.
Yeah.
Like it's, it happens a lot.
It does.
And it's like, oh, theHat Man's at this one.
So you better watch out 'cause Yeah.
You know, that show likeh uh, was it like haunted?
It's like the haunted house one.

(36:51):
You have to be a little bit more like Hmm.
It's like hauntings on HouseHill or something like that.
Hill House or something like that.
Oh, you, the Netflix show,the haunted Hill house.
The Netflix show.
The Netflix show.
Netflix?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
That hat man.
Creepy.
That had a hat man in it too.
Yeah, he was creepy.
He was, he was reallytall and skinny though.
How's a hat, man?
Just everywhere.
Well, he's everywhere.
Nowhere all at once.
That's, well, we'll get to that too.

(37:12):
Oh.
So, um, the associated feelings, thelore, the details behind him, typically
this is the most consistent emotionalresponse, is a sense of extreme, profound
unease, terror, or impending doom.
Witnesses often feel a malevolentpresence emanating from the figure.

(37:33):
This is exactly what I felt.
Oh, when I was, I was, and I,when I was like staring at that.
What's weird to me is, you know, have youever had like a floaty thing in your eye?
Like a floater?
Oh yeah.
And every time you try, you try to look atit, look at it, it just, just evades you.
Is that how?
Oh, but the thing is, is you can'tmove, so it's moving your eyes.
I just see Kelsey, but it'slike, all I see is this black

(37:55):
thing and it's making me feel.
Like, it's just parking a car on me.
Like the, the weight of impending doom.
This whole thing overthere is creeping me out.
The fuck, uh, helplessnessand vulnerability, especially
during sleep paralysis.
The inability to move, amplifies thefeeling of being watched by something
sinister and the sense of being observedeven when not in sleep paralysis

(38:19):
witnesses often feel like the hatman is specifically watching them.
Oh, ooh.
One of the things I saw was that, uh,this girl commented about hat man saying
like, oh, I think I have like a hat, man.
I don't know.
Like, and she's like, but Ifeel like at peace, like within,
I think like, he protects me.
So like, oh, he is a nice hat man.
Someone was like, girl,he's feeding off of you.

(38:40):
He's protecting you.
He's food source.
I was like, oh boy.
No, he's, he's good.
He's got a different hat.
Okay.
He's got like a baseball cap.
He wears a leather hat.
Hats a trucker hat.
This is America.
He went to the Deen Hat store.
Okay.
Um, that as a nineties referencefor y'all here in Arizona.
Big Dog.
One of, one of the weird things ishis distinct lack of interaction.

(39:01):
And I think that's whatmakes it even worse.
Kind of like the, the,what do they call it?
The, the peak.
The peak around or the, the peak behind.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
That like the tree thing just goesand pops out and scares you, but
then doesn't interact otherwise.
It's like the look behind or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're gonna have to dothat one another way.
'cause those things are scary, creepy.
I mean, it's pretty muchdescribed in the name, so it kind

(39:22):
of, that's just what it does.
But either way, uh, hidebehind the, hide behind.
Yeah.
Uh, the Hat man is almostalways a passive observer.
He rarely, if ever speaks or physicallyinteracts with those who see him,
which checks out, in my case, if itwas Hat Man happened just one time.
Mm-hmm.
That I remember.
I've had like that.
So you can.

(39:43):
Get into a hypnogogic state,which is sleep paralysis.
I, I can do that regularly.
In fact, everyone can.
I got restless leg syndrome,so, oh, bummer, dude.
Kicking everywhere.
God so annoying.
He might be seen standing ina corner at a foot of the bed
or in a doorway just watching.
He was definitely in the doorwayfor me, just watching God.

(40:04):
Wasn't he just standing there?
Was he like a cat?
Sometimes he's reported to vanish asquickly as he appears, so pretty creepy.
The fact that similar descriptionsof a shadowy figure with the hat
appear across different culturesand time periods adds to the lore.
This suggests it's not tied to aspecific local legend, and this is
one of the things I wanted to bring upin a, in the last probably 10 years,

(40:28):
especially if you've been on YouTube,you know that there is an endless
amount of stupid horror shit thatkids just eat up like slenderman, the
right, like the siren heads slenderman.
Now we have the SCP, which is just.
Countless, whatever the internetcan come up with scary things.
Right.
The cp but, uh, it's the, uh,the Secret Salt Lake City.

(40:49):
It's the secret.
Yeah.
Salt Lake City Police.
Mm-hmm.
Um, no, it's the secret.
The guy that came and fucked you up.
It's like the, the secret, uh,society that they made up on the
internet, like the FBI or the TSA.
It's, it's, oh, like thoseare people kinda special.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's kind of like imagine, um,like Illuminati Imagine Cabin
in the woods where they had likeevery monster divided into things.

(41:12):
Okay.
And they were scientists like that,like SCP number 4, 7 6 could be this
weird, you know, tooth monster thing.
Like whatever.
It's kinda like that.
So, because the, the, uh, theinternet has, has like adopted
all these things, it's like nowwe know what, uh, siren head is.
We know what Slenderman isbecause creepy pasta is so, is

(41:32):
Hat Man part of all those dudes?
No.
Okay.
And that's what's crazy.
Without knowing.
What this thing is, everybodydescribes him the same, like
it's inherent to every human.
And that's what creeps me out.
Well, I mean that's 'cause like everyghost show is talked about The hat man.
Okay.
But my mom hates hoarder,will never watch scary movies.

(41:55):
She can't even watch boxing.
It's too violent.
However, if she has thatexperience, she goes, it was like
this black figure with the hat.
And I'm like, I what?
Do you know what that's called?
What The Hat Man?
She'd be like, what?
That's crazy.
Why is it in different cultures different?
Like with the Kelpie, there's ahundred different versions of Kelpie.

(42:16):
There's a hundred differentthousand versions of Bigfoot in
all these different countries.
But the hat man is the same everysingle time in every country ever.
And don't like that withouteven knowing about it.
Like what if you don't have accessto the internet or, or hats or you
don't like horror and you neverwatch anything on the hat man, but
you have this, this experience.
How is it the same across.

(42:37):
It nations.
It's so bizarre that every human,it is like always the same thing.
Um, and then obviously the internethas undoubtedly played a role in
spreading awareness of the hat man,allowing individuals who've had
similar experiences to connect.
But also, if you've never hadit before, for now, you're gonna
probably be expecting atman.

(42:57):
Oh, great.
Oh, why?
'cause like, if you have sleep paralysis,it's like, well, this is what comes with,
so now you might be more susceptible.
Sorry guys.
I take value esh rabbit holenights every night before bed.
So I am out, pass the fuck out.
They do their job.
If you wake me up, I'm gonna stumblearound and swing my arms widely at you.

(43:18):
Unlike some folklore figures withestablished origins, the hat man lacks a
clear beginning or consistent narrative.
He simply is the collective experienceof those who report seeing him.
But that's what, that's what tripsme out is like, if I see the hotman
tonight, I'm gonna be so pissed at you.
Swear to God.
Sorry.
Just get him, beat him up.
No, you can't.
That's why he just standsthere because he's, man, ain't

(43:39):
nobody gonna do nothing to me.
I'll just, when you look at him, he moves.
You can't see him ever directly.
I'm gonna spear him through the door.
It's just like broad breaker.
We watched a guy do that live.
Yeah, he, when you took me tothat wrestling thing and that
dude speared through the door.
Yeah.
And it was, it was awesome.
Fascinating.
Mean like a spear, like a No, likewhen you run and you, you talk

(44:03):
midsection, you, you just, you just,your shoulder here hits them in the
midsection and you're, you're notallowed to spear people in football.
Your, your feet can't leave the ground.
So like, if I was gonna tackle you,I would just tackle, but when you
spear, you run and you can't likejump, jump you, you superman into that.
Like I see footballplayers do all the time.
Well, you're not supposed to.

(44:23):
Spearing is, uh, illegal.
Oh, it's like a foul for spearing.
Yeah.
It's stupid.
It's like you gotta be planted, you know?
You can't because thenyou can hurt somebody.
Mm-hmm.
But anyways, so, yeah.
Uh, the hat man, honestly,there's no, what is that?
Oh, is he gonna watch the spear?
This is the, the best spear in the world.
Damn.
That's a spear.
That's fast.

(44:44):
That's a spear he can run about.
I think he's 26 miles an hour.
He can run on the ring.
What?
When he's going backand forth on the ropes.
Dude.
Dude goes fast.
Who is it?
His name is Broun Breaker.
What if that shit snapped and hejust, oh, he's gonna go flying.
If it snaps, like go intothe crowd, they're gonna die.
So yeah, hopefully, um, nobodyelse has had those experience
experiences with the hat Man.

(45:05):
Spear that hat, man.
We'll have to, if anyone's listening rightnow, if you've had experiences with Hat
Man, we wanna know, oh God, yes please.
Yeah, please.
And mine was, mine was literally,I just remember laying down,
sleeping, and I just, I rememberseeing perfectly just like, oh shit,
there is something in the doorway.
It's just your dad.
Like, wake up Brian.
He just.

(45:26):
Yeah, see em, uh, pretty crazy shit.
You're like, I always smell hatman, but I can't ever see it.
It's mystery.
You know?
I'm the only person I can'tfind anything on the internet.
Why does hat Man smell like shit?
Hat Man.
Let's talk about movies.
Hat man smells like my dad.
That smells like brute, brute cologne.
Brute force.
My dad, dad smells like cigars.

(45:47):
Oh, my dad smell like brute and bolo.
He brute, he likes glory.
Bru, deodorant and bruteaftershave because he was a Hoss.
He's a Hoss man.
Haass is used brute.
They still make Brute.
Yeah.
I've never heard of thatbefore at the Dollar Store.
Really?
It's like the Irish Spring.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Bru fell off.
I don't know.
I used to wear brute in high school wasmy girlfriend X kind of took over and
my girlfriend in high school like brute.

(46:07):
So I wore brute too.
Nice.
But then I was like, wait a minute, that'smy dad's, uh, you said movies movie.
Um, I let you guys takethe, the wheel on this one.
I watched a movie.
Um, it's called.
Frankie Freako.
I saw the stories and I was like,what the fuck are you watching?
Mm-hmm.
I was, I was sending youguys like pictures of it,

(46:31):
Frankie, I was watching it.
Yeah.
Now, before you, before youwrite Frankie Freako off, I
already have it written it off.
You said it was by the samedudes who made psycho goer.
Man.
Same.
Same dude.
I half to like it, sameGorman, I have to like it.
Um, but it's about this guy.
He is a very dorky mm-hmm.
Super square dude.

(46:51):
He is like super hotwife's going out of town.
Mm-hmm.
She's an inspiring artistand he's home alone.
Right.
And he's like, man, I'm ordering a pizza.
Oh, okay.
Well the video's there.
He's eating his pizza and it'slike, whew, it's eight 30 at pm.
Whew, that's late even for aSaturday and breaking all of

(47:11):
rules, like, oh yeah, dude.
No, he, like, he, so this commercialcomes on TV for, uh, Frankie Reco.
Whoa.
1 905 5 5 free goco.
Hell yeah.
And if you wanna have a party, havea good time, you call Frankie Freako.
Well, he's like, you know what?

(47:32):
I'm gonna call Frankie Freako, soit's eight 30, I'm gonna call him up.
Tonight's crazy night, Ibroke out the real Coke.
Frankie Freako tells himfashion, you freak belt.
I love it already.
Hey, I love it already.
I'm already sold.
I love it.
Like, guy wakes up the next morning.
Oh, so like, this is the thing goinginto this movie was my kid Lucas, who's

(47:52):
11, wanted to watch a movie with me.
Mm-hmm.
So I was like, well, I'm gonnawatch Frankie Freako tonight.
So you, you're either watchingthat with me or not Then.
So I was like, let me seewhat's what This movie's rated.
Like, I couldn't find any information onwhat it's rated other than I think it was,
Wikipedia says it was G so I was like,you know what, this is rated G that, yeah.

(48:15):
How was it?
Uh, a G movie?
I'd say it's more PG 13.
Oh, that's not bad at all.
What?
It's like the freako part?
Yeah, he's just likes the party.
Oh.
But like by party, that means like,just trash your house and drink.
They drink fart cola.
Oh.
And he wakes up the next morning.
He's like, what did Iget up to last night?
Oh.

(48:35):
And he sees that they hadthese, this soda has caffeine.
Oh.
He is like, oh, no caffeine.
Uh, anyways, like, what is he?
A Mormon Spanky Freako showsup with his two friends.
And they, they're very much likegarbage pill kid characters.
Uh, like that's whatthey remind me of about.
Um, the thing that was really great aboutthe movie was it was all like practical

(48:57):
effects going on, just like psych.
So it was just like pg, it waspuppetry because they're all little
guy, like Frankie Freako is just likethis little tiny dude and it is like
two, like a leprechaun or something.
Yeah.
He is like, he is like, he's likered skin with like a purple hair.
Is he like Chucky Chucky, like,he's like a Chucky doll size?
Yeah, kind of.
So like two feet maybe?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Um, but they are, uh, they used to livein a place called Freak World and it got

(49:23):
overrun by this, uh, corporate company.
Oh.
So they escaped Freak World.
This feels like a very nineties movieand then now have commercials on TV
to like, this movie was so nineties.
It reminded me, yes, not identicalbecause they're all kids movies, but
there was Full Moon Entertainment, whichwas the company that would put out like.

(49:45):
Puppet Master and Trancersand, uh, killer Tomatoes.
Shit like that.
What was that like?
Blood, uh, God, I can't remember, buthe was like a blood in, blood out.
No, no, not blood in, blood out.
Oh, oh, oh.
Not blood.
Uh, subspecies, same thing.
They made a movie called SubspeciesUp, but they had another division,

(50:06):
like, so there's Full Moon madethose, but then they had one called
Moonbeam where they made kids movies.
Oh.
Oh.
Like did you ever see pre hysteria?
I'd have to, I'd haveto see like screenshots.
It was the kid from Last ActionHero and like he had tiny
dinosaurs that were alive.
Oh.
Oh.
Not the, so they made movies likethat and like a kid in King Arthur's
court and they, there was this onemovie I watched all the time that they

(50:29):
made called Remote, where it was likethis kid was like, had this massive,
crazy remote control RC collection.
And his pet, his parents hatedit, so he hit him in the attic
of this house that was for sale.
But while he's up there, three robbers,like use the house to hide out in.
So he's like home alone.
It, oh my.

(50:49):
Like using his RC cars to fuckwith these robber and shit.
Um, but this felt very much likea moonbeam movie with like, I got
what you're saying, the puppetsand like how they act and stuff.
It just, I, yeah, it's just so nineties.
Like I just screamed.
It's very s Was there like sideways orlike corner hats or like backwards hats?
Like puffer jackets?

(51:09):
No, I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure this movie tookplace in the nineties though.
Well, the fact that they put Freakand everything that just so nineties.
Oh yeah.
Like whenever, freak away, youknow, he wakes up the next day
and his house is trash, like.
The fireplace has buttspray painted on it.
Nice.
It's just like, you know,like stupid kid shit.
Stupid kid.
Rad words.
Like, oh, I'm gonnawrite Ouch on the wall.

(51:31):
Just like that.
Just put, just put NOICat the end of anything.
So it's like asic like rightTy Omic like, yeah, dude.
Nineties ruled.
Uh, but I, I liked it.
How many, how manyrecos would you give it?
How many recos?
I'd give it three outta five.
Three recos.
Yeah.
Nice.
I think if I had some value sessionbefore, I would've probably locked in.

(51:52):
Maybe, maybe even given it a five.
I don't, I don't doubt that.
So psycho goreman Four.
Second Gorman's a five.
Perfect.
Fuck.
Psych Gorman's.
Perfect Frankie.
So like that is the thing, like if yougo from Psycho Gorman into Frankie reco.
Just there is an adjustment.
Like it's not his Nowhere close.
No, there's no gore in it.

(52:14):
There's no, like, you know what?
I appreciate that he didsomething very different.
He didn't make a psycho Gore manwith puppets in the nineties.
He made a completely different movie.
So, you know what?
Well done.
Well done.
You're doing great.
He is, he is making great movies.
Yeah.
What about you?
Um, I did watch something.
Do we have time?
Sure.
Should I save it for the next one?
Just go.

(52:35):
Um, so it was calledTill Death Do Us Part.
Is that a new one?
I think it's semi new.
Mm-hmm.
Um, it's from the makers of,uh, final Destination, which is
kind of what like intrigued us.
I can't remember what we watched it on.
Amazon Prime.
Yeah, I think we watch it on Prime.
Prime.

(52:55):
This movie.
Like the first half of the movie,they just keep on referencing like the
university and the professors and like, sowhat's supposed to happen is this couple's
supposed to get married and then she runsaway and she's like, oh, I can't do this.
Like I want out.
And you're like, well, quick question.
Is there big stars in this?
Is this a big release?
Is this a year release?
The biggest, the biggest star is theblonde, uh, is the Blonde Mar movie.

(53:19):
The Blonde Vampire from,from, uh, Brad Pitt.
Twilight.
What's it called?
I've never heard of them.
Till Death Do Us PartTill Death Do Us Part.
There's a lot of 'em movies called that.
Yes, it's a new one.
There's like one in 20 23, 20 17.
2024. Probably 2023.
Okay.
Lemme see.
Actor.
It was a TV show.

(53:40):
It was definitely amovie, not a show, right?
It was this one.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Lemme see it.
So basically, okay, I just wanna makesure I wanna look at the cast 'cause
I don't wanna be like Brian wheneverhe reviewed Stardust and he was like,
I was like, I forget who you said.
It was like, oh, Robert Deirit and like that's really it.
There was, and then you looked at thecast list and it was like, yeah there
was like two guys that we could cognize.
There was a girlfriend,Terminator three and Robert.

(54:01):
It's really not.
Oh, it's got Jason Patrick in it.
Oh my God.
Is that the guy from, is that the dad?
He's Jason Patrick played Michael andLost Boys and he was in Speed two.
Wow.
He was in a movie called Narc.
He was, he probably was like theone that was like the best actor
in here as well, I guess probably.
He's a terrifi of three.
Oh oh.

(54:22):
Um, he was at Days ofDead in, uh, we met him.
Vegas.
We didn't meet him.
We met him.
No we didn't.
I did Where?
Can't tell you that.
Shut up.
You didn't meet know Jason Patrick's.
Okay.
Anyways, so basically it starts off withlike a runaway bride and then you know all
the bride, it's got Orlando Jones in it.
Yeah.
That's the person that we like recognized.

(54:42):
Make seven up.
Yours.
Remember that?
Nope.
Are you gonna, lemme fucking reviewthis movie, hurry up, review this movie.
I'm trying, I don'twanna review this movie.
Terrible.
Don't really in it.
And I'm like, well,why did it suck so bad?
Okay, well, I think happened.
Okay, so basically the premise isreally, it's like, okay, it could have
been good, but I think they cast likestunt people to be the actual actors.

(55:06):
Mike Starr is in this movie, I dunno whothe fuck anyone that you're naming is.
He was the Hitman and Dumb andDumber who eats the hot pepper and
has a heart attack at the diet.
Who is he?
Who is he in?
This is why he used the movie.
He was somebody father of the movie.
Oh, like, so like thisshowed like a picture of him.
Like it it's probably The bridewas on allowed you I would've
been like that Pictures.

(55:27):
That's the guy from Dumb and Dumber.
I didn't, I was already mental.
I already hated that movie.
Okay.
His name was Mental and Dumb and Dumber.
First of all, there's like somuch dancing in this movie.
It's like weird, like, so itkeeps on going back and forth
to this couple that clearly arelike hitman that worked together.
Was he Mr. And Mrs. Smith?
Is it like Mr. And Mrs. Smith?
No, not really.

(55:47):
It looks like weird.
It, I don't know howto describe this movie.
It was so bad.
Like it was jumping all over the place.
The acting was horrific and therewere so much dancing all the time.
But I will say the only redeemingthing is because I think they
did cast like people that are notactually actors or like stunt people.
Mm. Who are dangerous.
Kind of like actors.

(56:07):
They were like fuckingkicking each other's ass.
So like some of the deathswere pretty gnarly, right?
Like the fight scenes?
Yeah, there's a bunch of the fight scenesbecause she basically, all the groomsmen
come and they're supposed to just detainher until the, the groom can get there.
'cause he's heartbroken.
'cause they were actually in loveand then they, the university like,
let them be able to get married.

(56:27):
But then she's like, I don't want to,so it's, it's a John Wick's love story.
Hate this Kelsey.
Why can't you watch horror movies?
This was a horror movie.
This ain't no horror movie.
Yes, it was.
It was like a horror action.
It was a action.
Was a watch.
Was this a horror movie Kinda?
I, I would assume so.
No.
Gosh, I, we have, therewas lot of killing.
Thank you.
Oh, but there's a lot of killing incommando and that's no horror movie.

(56:50):
There's a lot of killing.
Well, well go ahead.
Like what can't you watch?
Like slum party massacre.
Hey, well you know what, I don'tever wanna watch that or some shit.
At least we got a movie this week.
Okay.
You know what?
I want to review the last of us.
That's whore.
Okay, well let's, but I'lldo that next on, next week.
Yeah.
Um, or next season.
Next week.
How many, how many deaths to youpart from this movie do you give it?

(57:10):
How many?
Jason Patricks do you give this movie?
A solid one?
Yeah.
Two.
It's, I'd say like one and a half.
It's a two, maybe two, maybe two.
It just was like, it washard to get through it.
That was the movie that like, I kindof was referencing when I was like,
are they meaning to be this bad?
Like, is it supposed to belike this corny and weird?
Like maybe at the end there'sgonna be like, it just wasn't Yeah.

(57:31):
One, like there was like no redeemingstuff about it really fighting.
That's, I watched, I watched TheCurious, the End of The Curious Grace,
you know, the One Natalia Grace Shit.
Oh.
Uh, honestly, if you haven't seen it yet,it's, it's, it's worth watching that.
I guess it's also atleast the first episode.
Yeah, the problem first season problemis it's just like, well fuck at the end,
really nothing happens and like all of theterrible things that probably happened,

(57:53):
none of these people got in trouble for.
So it's like, I just watchedthis, got that is really crazy,
really pissed for nothing.
These, these people justprofited off of this person.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, cool.
Yeah.
So that was dumb.
And then it made me just feel like,alright, they're just gonna keep, and
then the fact that you said, oh nowthey're making the curious grace of,
I'm like, ah, this is some shillingass bullshit now they just sold out
'cause they got a ugh, whatever.

(58:13):
I'll say the lady thathost it though is great.
She really know Post her shit.
Oh yeah.
I don't know.
She doesn't really like host it.
Like, she just like, kind of setsthings up like they're it, they're
acting like it's an interview.
Like she doesn't look directlyat the camera like, but
she just is a great order.
And she's like really well informed.
Do you know David Decoy has a show onHistory Channel and so does Dan Aykroyd.

(58:34):
I'm not surprised.
Hmm.
David Decoy is boring as hell.
He sucks.
I love David Dny.
I know it sucks 'cause I watchedthe show and I'm like, this is, he
was in evolution with Orlando Jones.
Hey, yo.
Evolution was so good.
I love evolution.
All right.
Um, remember that bug flies uphis ass and he's wearing his suit,
and it's like, it's your day.

(58:56):
She's, that would be so hilarious.
Like, have you seen Evolution?
No.
You should watch Evolution.
You love it.
It's the smiley face withthe three, three eyes.
You remember that on the, the posters.
David Decoy, Orlando.
Orlando Jones.
Sean Williams.
Scott.
Oh, yeah.
I not watch out.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Um, uh, uh, Julianne Moore's in it.
Um, that one black guyand Dan Roy's in it and,

(59:17):
um, isn't what's hisface from the fly in it?
Jeff Klum?
Yeah.
No, that's eight legged freaks.
He's not in Jeff that either.
Mm. Starship Troopers.
That's it for Security Cast this week.
Get me the fuck outta here.
Thank you guys.
Love, love you all.
Thank you all for listening.
Don't forget to go to crit Hit az.com tofind out all the information about crit.

(59:41):
Hit seven Cosmic Calamity goingon at DoubleTree by Hilton in
Phoenix, July 5th through the sixth.
If you wanna go get your tabletop RPGon hell yeah, that's gonna be this spot.
Also don't forget, if you want ourgoofy asses to show up at your event,
go to artists assemble productions.comand you can book us there.

(01:00:03):
Except for King Re.
I can't go there.
He can't go but me, me and Kelsey.
We'll go.
We'll go.
We'll go.
I do Bar Mitzvahs.
Thanks guys.
Oh wait.
Real quick.
Make sure you say um, hi to Hat manwhen he is watching you Sleep tonight.
Oh Jesus.
Love you.