Ladies & Gentleman, welcome to DIA. Your baggage will be located by the gargoyles past the creepy art. If you hit bLUCIFER, you have gone too far. Please refrain from entering the tunnels as the illuminati might be hosting a zoom meeting. Local time is the witching hour. The temperature is hot as HELL! Thank you for flying Air SCARYGODMOTHERS!
Our complimentary drink on this flight was 1877 Sparkling Water in the flavor of Mango!
Sources:
Greg the Talking Gargoyle
Reddit Story
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/03/insider/chasing-conspiracy-theories-at-the-denver-airport.html
https://www.denverpost.com/2016/10/31/definitive-guide-to-denver-international-airport-conspiracy-theories/
https://history.denverlibrary.org/news/denver/locals-guide-dia-conspiracy-theories
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/classroom/2023/04/lesson-plan-debunking-denver-airport-conspiracies/
https://www.flydenver.com/sites/default/files/pressKit/den_Conspiracies.pdf
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denver_International_Airport
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Mustang
https://www.denver.org/blog/post/myths-denver-airport/
NORAD’s Cheyenne Mountain Fortress Is Back | COVID-19 Pandemic (popularmechanics.com)
Grotesque (architecture) - Wikipedia
Freemasonry - Wikipedia
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