November 24, 2025 • 25 mins
The hoodie isn’t the problem.
It’s the messages we’re missing.
In this episode, Steph Johnson takes you inside one of the most misunderstood behaviors on a school campus: the kids who cover up, layer up, or hide inside hoodies no matter the temperature.
Using research from adolescent psychology, sensory science, trauma, school anxiety, and identity development, Steph explains what hoodie behavior really communicates… and why school counselors are uniquely positioned to decode it.
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Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us!
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All names, stories, and case studies in this episode are fictionalized composites drawn from real-world circumstances. Any resemblance to actual students, families, or school personnel is coincidental. Details have been altered to protect privacy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
The cuffs in the sleeves were chewed so thin that
he could poke his thumb throughthe fabric.
Think May in Texas.
The heat that makes the blacktop shimmer.
And the teachers are justwilting.
And there he is in the hallway,hood up, strings pulled tight,
(00:29):
hands buried in that kangaroopocket, walking around like he's
headed into a blizzard.
And then I remember anotherstudent that walked past my
office window in January.
Snow was in the forecast.
The wind was cutting like aknife.
And this kid was in basketballshorts and a t-shirt like it was
(00:50):
a sunny day in the middle ofJune.
And I opened the door and I waslike, Are you freezing?
And he's like, No, I'm fine.
Two different kids, twodifferent seasons, but the same
puzzle.
Adults look at these situationsand immediately go to, what are
they thinking?
(01:11):
Are they looking for attention?
Is that just the weird kid?
Or why won't their parents dressthem?
You know you've thought it.
But here's the part that nobodytells us.
These choices are almost neverabout fashion.
They start with safety andcontrol and how much of
(01:33):
themselves they're willing tolet the world see.
And like everything else we'vebeen talking about in this
series, what they do might lookstrange to us, but it's almost
never random.
Hey school counselor, welcomeback.
In this episode of our Why DidThey Do That series, we're
taking on one of the mostconfusing things we see in
(01:56):
schools every day.
The hoodie kids, the shorts anda snowstorm kids, and all the
I'm fine kids whose clothesdon't match the weather, but
absolutely match something goingon inside.
So if you're ready for somestraight talk, my friend, some
clarity on your work and maybe alittle bit of rebellion, you're
(02:17):
gonna be in the right place.
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
podcast.
Alright, so let's start with themost underestimated explanation
for all of this, which isregulation.
Because for a lot of kids, thehoodie isn't about being cool,
(02:38):
it's about survival.
The lights are too bright, thehallways are too loud, the
classroom is buzzing like abeehive, and their nervous
system is on high alert longbefore they ever walk through
your door.
If you have ever tried to walkthrough a hallway during passing
period without getting shoulderchecked by a sixth grader,
(02:59):
doused an axe body spray, youknow exactly what I mean.
It is basically a sensoryobstacle course.
So the only thing that somestudents can do in those moments
is pull the hood up, create alittle cave, and try to shrink
the world down to something theyfeel like they can manage.
(03:21):
This is where Polyvagel theorycomes in, Stephen Porgis' work
from 2011, that I'm gonna admitI completely nerded out on in
the mastermind.
Porgis talks about how ournervous systems are constantly
scanning for accused of safetyor danger.
When things feel threatening,maybe they're too loud or
(03:41):
chaotic or unpredictable, weslip into fight, flight, or
freeze.
That's the sympathetic nervoussystem hitting the gas.
But when we feel safe andconnected, the parasympathetic
system can step in and say,okay, you're safe, you can
breathe again.
And a hoodie can help flip thatswitch.
(04:03):
The deep, steady pressure of thefabric, the feeling of being
wrapped or contained is like aDIY weighted blanket.
And we've got research on this.
There's a 2015 study in theAmerican Journal of Occupational
Therapy by Reynolds andcolleagues that found deep
pressure stimulation likeweighted blankets or snug
(04:26):
clothing can significantlyreduce autonomic arousal and
increase feelings of calm.
In other words, something assimple as being wrapped up
tightly can tell the nervoussystem you're safe.
We're coming back to baseline.
If you've been around the Schoolfor School Counselors
Mastermind, you've heard me talkabout this before.
(04:48):
We've taken polyvagal theoryinto the cafeteria, into
classrooms, into the schoolcounseling office.
And we've asked, okay, so whatdoes safety actually look like
here for an actual kid?
Because it changes everythingabout the way you interpret
student behavior.
But back to the hoodie.
(05:09):
So for students with sensoryprocessing differences, ADHD,
maybe trauma histories, thatphysical boundary might be the
one thing that makes school feelsort of tolerable.
It becomes like a portable safespace in a world that feels very
unpredictable.
And for a lot of kids,especially those dealing with
(05:33):
school anxiety or sensoryoverload, that physical boundary
is the only thing keeping themregulated long enough to make it
through the day.
It makes me think about Evan, astudent that I worked with in
the past.
The same gray hoodie everysingle day, no matter the
forecast.
And every adult had an opinionabout it.
(05:55):
But when he finally trusted meenough that we could really
talk, he said, When I wear it, Ican't feel people looking at me
so much.
And for Evan, who had years ofinstability, that hoodie was a
shield.
It wasn't a fashion choice.
It was the one variable in hislife that he could count on.
(06:19):
And sometimes it's moreemotional than sensory.
Serenity started wearingoversized hoodies when she hit
puberty early and felt suddenlylike she was on display.
Tyson zipped his up during afamily divorce.
Hood up in every classroom,every day, just kind of a
walking, please don't ask meanything too real.
(06:41):
Different kids, differentbackgrounds, but same function.
It's regulation.
And once you see that, it'sreally hard to react to these
hoodies with annoyance.
Empathy really becomes the onlyresponse that makes any sense.
But regulation is only one partof this.
(07:01):
Sometimes that hoodie isn'tabout feeling safe, it's about
having a say.
Sometimes it's less aboutcomfort and more about control.
If we're honest, adolescence isbasically a really long
masterclass in not havingcontrol.
Adults decide the bell schedule,the dress code, the seating
(07:25):
chart, the assignments, theconsequences, the everything.
So what do kids do?
They look for something thatthey can own.
Psychologist Lauren Steinberghas written about this as a kind
of autonomy rehearsal.
The adolescent brain is wired totest limits, to push against
constraints, to practice beingits own boss.
(07:48):
And we see this in the researchtoo.
A 2013 study in developmentalcognitive neuroscience by Telzer
and colleagues found that theteenage brain is especially
tuned for novelty seeking andrisk taking in social contexts.
Clothing is a very low-stakesplace to experiment with that.
They can't control thecurriculum, they can't control
(08:10):
the fire drills, they can'tcontrol the group project
partners that they've beenassigned, but they can control
what's on their body.
The hoodie, the beanie, theshorts, the crop top, they
become tiny acts of autonomy.
So when an adult says, take thatoff, or you know you're not
(08:31):
supposed to wear that here, tothem, it's not about the hoodie
anymore.
It's about, do I get any say atall about anything that happens
in this place?
That's why you can have a kidwho follows almost every other
rule and still absolutely digsin on this one.
Because it's not about the item,it's about dignity.
(08:53):
And as school counselors, wehave a lot of power to be able
to help diffuse these standoffsby naming what's really
happening.
It seems like being able tochoose what you wear is really
important to you.
Or sounds like this is one areawhere you feel like you have
control.
So we're not arguing aboutcloth, we're acknowledging their
(09:16):
need for autonomy.
Inside the mastermind, we talk alot about this shift from
behavior management to autonomyconversations.
It's one of the reasons thatfolks inside the mastermind tell
me that their disciplinereferrals drop, even though
they're not the ones doingdiscipline.
They're just helping adults talkabout what the fight is actually
(09:39):
about.
But what about the kid who wearsthe same hoodie every day, even
when it doesn't seem to be aboutcomfort or defiance?
That's when we have to look atsomething deeper: who they are
and where they belong.
Because sometimes a hoodie isn'ta shield or a protest, it's a
(10:00):
signal.
Eric Erickson talked aboutadolescence as a crisis of
identity.
This is a season of trying onroles, experimenting with
self-expression, and trying toanswer the question, who am I,
really?
More recent research backs thisup.
A 2006 study in developmentalpsychology by Lysix and
(10:24):
colleagues found thatexperimenting with different
styles and identities isactually a healthy part of
adolescent development.
The teens who are allowed toexplore within reasonable
boundaries tend to be betteradjusted.
Clothing is one of the easiestways to do that.
A hoodie can be a billboard, afavorite band, a sports team, a
(10:47):
YouTuber or gamer, or even acultural or faith community.
It's a way of saying, this iswhere I land.
These are my people.
And in a world where socialbelonging can feel like life or
death, that matters.
These small choices are some ofthe clearest behavioral clues in
(11:07):
adolescence, the kind that tellyou far more about the student's
inner world than anything youcould find in their perm file.
Think about Mateo, who saved upforever to buy a Supreme hoodie.
He didn't care about the branditself, but he did care that the
skater kids he desperatelywanted to belong with were all
(11:29):
wearing those.
Or Destiny, who wore her youthgroup hoodie every Wednesday,
like clockwork.
For her, it was a badge ofbelonging and an open
invitation.
If you recognize this, you mightbe my people.
And then sometimes a hoodie isless about joining than it is
(11:50):
disappearing.
For kids who feel like theystick out because of body
changes, race, language, genderexpression, poverty, and on and
on, an oversized hoodie can becamouflage.
If they can blur their presencejust a little bit, maybe fewer
people will notice them.
(12:11):
And then on top of all that,there's the economic layer that
we don't talk about in schoolsenough.
Because in a lot of friendgroups, the price of admission
is a certain logo.
If you don't have it, you'reout.
For some students, ahand-me-down hoodie from an
older sibling or a lucky thriftstore find with the right brand
(12:33):
can become a lifeline.
Like I can't afford the wholelook, but I have this one thing
that says I could belong heretoo.
When we look at that hoodie,it's easy to think, why did I
care so much about labels?
But underneath, it's I'm tryingto survive the social economy of
this school.
(12:53):
As counselors, our job is tolook past the fabric and the
labels and look into that ache.
The need to be seen, the wantingto be claimed by some group, and
the ache to not be on theoutside looking in.
(13:13):
Those fashion choices can tellyou a lot about a student's
landscape and theirself-concept.
And this is where schoolcounselor fluency really shows
up.
Anyone can spot the hoodie.
No big deal.
It takes a fluent schoolcounselor to see what it is
(13:34):
saying.
But then there's the kid thatjust blows up every category.
Shorts in a blizzard, heavy coatin August, no clear pattern.
What do we do with that?
Well, sometimes a hoodie is justa hoodie.
(13:56):
It's a choice that does not makeany sense to us, but feels
exactly right to the kid that'swearing it.
Maybe it started as a sensorysomething and it turned into a
habit, or maybe it's a socialexperiment, or maybe it's
simply, I like this and youcan't stop me from wearing it.
The thing is, our job is not toturn every little wardrobe quirk
(14:21):
into a diagnosis, right?
Our job is to create space forself-discovery and to stay
genuinely curious.
This is where your assessmentbrain comes in.
Some questions that I love.
Is this a pattern or a one-off?
Does it seem to have a functionlike regulation, identity,
(14:44):
social signaling, modesty, orgender expression?
How does the student respondwhen you ask about it in a
non-threatening way?
What other data points do youhave?
Absences, grades, friendships,discipline, family stress?
When you start spotting thesesigns of student stress early,
all the little tiny signals thatmost adults usually overlook,
(15:07):
your whole approach to supportchanges.
A solution-focused approach fitsbeautifully here.
Instead of deciding what thehoodie means, we invite the
student to tell us if they wantto.
A 2021 systematic review in theJournal of School Counseling,
Schmidt and Schmidt, that lookedat solution-focused approaches
(15:30):
in school settings, found thatemphasizing strengths,
resources, and student-generatedinsight leads to significantly
better outcomes than traditionalproblem-focused work.
So instead of, why are youalways wearing that?
What's going on?
We try, I notice you've beenwearing that hoodie a lot.
(15:51):
Does it do something helpful foryou at school?
Or on the days that you feel alittle better, is there anything
different about what you chooseto wear?
It's subtle, right?
But it changes the power dynamicimmediately.
And just to be clear, the fourlenses we've talked about
regulation, autonomy, identity,belonging, those are not the
(16:15):
only ones that matter.
We also have to consider thingslike cultural and religious
norms, gender identity andexpression, family rules or
expectations, trauma history,and sometimes just plain old
personal preference.
The point isn't to cram astudent into a category.
(16:36):
The point is to refuse to settlefor the lazy explanation of
they're just being difficult.
Because sometimes kids are justbeing quirky and human.
And then sometimes they arequietly waving a red flag.
Curiosity is what helps us tellthe difference.
(16:58):
Inside the mastermind, that'sexactly the kind of thing that
we're pulling apart inconsultation chats.
Folks will say, okay, here's myhoodie, kid, here's the context,
here's the situation, help melook at this more clearly.
And by the time we're done, theconversation isn't about a
hoodie anymore.
It's about an intervention forthat particular student in that
(17:21):
particular situation thatactually makes sense.
So the question becomes what dowe do with all this?
How do we turn hoodie psychologyinto real-world support without
pathologizing kids or ignoringred flags?
When you walk back into thathallway and see 10 hoodies
(17:44):
before first period, think aboutthe cloak method, because of
course I would name it cloak,right?
Cloak.
C is for curiosity overcertainty.
Lead with, I wonder what thisdoes for them, instead of, oh I
know what that means.
(18:06):
Because the second that youdecide you already know, you
stop listening.
L, look for patterns.
One day of shorts in the snow isa funny story.
Four weeks in a row plusslipping grades and withdrawing
from friends becomes a pattern.
You're not a fashion policeofficer, but you are a data
(18:29):
collector.
So look for patterns.
Oh, open the conversation.
When it feels appropriate andyou have some rapport, invite
reflection with some verynon-judgmental questions.
How does that hoodie help youget through the day?
Are there days that you feellike you don't need it as much?
(18:50):
No interrogation, right?
No agenda, just genuinecuriosity.
And sometimes it'll uncoversomething and sometimes it
won't.
A.
Assess function and meaning.
Based on everything you know,history, academics, behavior,
family, what role might thisclothing be playing?
(19:12):
Is it regulation, autonomy,identity or belonging, modesty,
gender safety, or is it justself-expression because they
like the color?
Again, you won't always get ananswer, but the act of wondering
keeps you from jumping straightto they're being defiant.
And then K, keep an eye out forred flags.
(19:36):
You're watching for the shifts,the sudden change to all
concealing clothing, newinsistence on hiding the body,
pairing these clothing changeswith self-harm talk or body
shame comments or withdrawingfrom others, or drastic style
shifts after a known trauma orbig family event.
(19:59):
These are the don't ignore thismoments.
And above all, remember,especially when we're working
with adolescents, weird is notthe same as worrisome.
Our goal is not to eliminate thehoodies.
Our goal is to build a schoolculture where kids can show up
(20:20):
as they are and where adults arefluent enough to notice when a
clothing change is doing someheavier lifting.
This is where your counselorfluency matters way more than
any tool or any curriculum.
There is not a single worksheeton the planet that can tell you
what that hoodie means.
No printable is going to be ableto decode it for you.
(20:44):
Fluency does that.
Your clinical judgment doesthat.
The way you think does that.
And if you're listening andthinking, I want more of that,
more fluency and less guessing,that's exactly what we build
together inside the mastermind.
We don't hand you a list ofcanned interventions.
(21:06):
We help you become the counselorwho can see this kind of nuance
in real time.
So picture this with me.
Same hallway, same student in ahoodie, same puzzle teachers
walking by.
The scene hasn't changed, butyou have.
You see more now.
(21:27):
You see how that hoodie might bea regulation tool to take away
the sensory edges of a reallyharsh day.
You see how it might be a littleact of autonomy in a world where
adults call most of the shots.
You see how it might be a markerof identity or a badge of
belonging or a way to disappearjust enough to feel safe.
(21:49):
And most importantly, you see itas communication, not a problem
to be handled.
These seemingly irrationalclothing choices that students
make, they're hardly everrandom.
They've been carrying meaningthis whole time.
And now you have better tools tohelp decode it.
(22:12):
You can be the adult who says,This looks different.
I'm curious about what'shappening instead of, why are
you doing this to make my jobharder?
You've heard that on Canvas,right?
You can help create classroomswhere a hoodie is met with
empathy instead of instantsuspicion.
You can build relationshipswhere students feel safe enough
(22:34):
to take the hood down.
Not because you made them, butbecause they don't need the
armor as much around you.
That's the work.
So as we wrap up, I want you tothink of one student who came to
mind while you were listening.
What did you used to assumeabout their clothing?
And what's one tiny shift inyour approach that you want to
(22:57):
try the next time that you seethem in the hallway?
If you're willing, just jottheir initials down somewhere
just to give yourself a realmoment with this.
Because that's how fluencygrows.
One kid, one reframe, oneconversation at a time.
(23:18):
So thanks for joining me on thisdeep dive into the psychology of
hoodies and teenage behavior.
I hope you are walking away witha fresh lens, though.
Maybe a little more compassionand some concrete ways that you
can respond differently or thatyou can show to your staff.
(23:38):
If you found value in thisepisode, would you share it with
a colleague who has a hoodie kidthat they worry about?
Forward it, text it, bring it upin your next PLC.
Because little by little, that'show we're going to change the
way the school seek kids.
And if you're craving more ofthis kind of support, real talk,
(23:58):
research-backed strategy, and acommunity of counselors who care
about fluency more than cuteideas, I'd love to see you
inside the School for SchoolCounselors Master.
It's where we take episodes likethis and we turn them into real,
on-the-ground problem solvingfor your actual campus.
(24:19):
And next week on the podcast,we're getting into the mystery
that haunts every schoolcounselor's conscience.
Why do kids wait until the finalbell or the day before a break
to drop the biggest bombs of theyear?
We're gonna have a field daywith this one, so if you haven't
already, make sure you'resubscribed so you don't miss it.
(24:43):
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
Podcast.
Until next time, keep shiningthat light and fighting the good
fight because your students needyou more than ever.
Take care.
The cuffs in the sleeves were chewed so thin that
he could poke his thumb throughthe fabric.
Think May in Texas.
The heat that makes the blacktop shimmer.
And the teachers are justwilting.
And there he is in the hallway,hood up, strings pulled tight,
(00:29):
hands buried in that kangaroopocket, walking around like he's
headed into a blizzard.
And then I remember anotherstudent that walked past my
office window in January.
Snow was in the forecast.
The wind was cutting like aknife.
And this kid was in basketballshorts and a t-shirt like it was
(00:50):
a sunny day in the middle ofJune.
And I opened the door and I waslike, Are you freezing?
And he's like, No, I'm fine.
Two different kids, twodifferent seasons, but the same
puzzle.
Adults look at these situationsand immediately go to, what are
they thinking?
(01:11):
Are they looking for attention?
Is that just the weird kid?
Or why won't their parents dressthem?
You know you've thought it.
But here's the part that nobodytells us.
These choices are almost neverabout fashion.
They start with safety andcontrol and how much of
(01:33):
themselves they're willing tolet the world see.
And like everything else we'vebeen talking about in this
series, what they do might lookstrange to us, but it's almost
never random.
Hey school counselor, welcomeback.
In this episode of our Why DidThey Do That series, we're
taking on one of the mostconfusing things we see in
(01:56):
schools every day.
The hoodie kids, the shorts anda snowstorm kids, and all the
I'm fine kids whose clothesdon't match the weather, but
absolutely match something goingon inside.
So if you're ready for somestraight talk, my friend, some
clarity on your work and maybe alittle bit of rebellion, you're
(02:17):
gonna be in the right place.
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
podcast.
Alright, so let's start with themost underestimated explanation
for all of this, which isregulation.
Because for a lot of kids, thehoodie isn't about being cool,
(02:38):
it's about survival.
The lights are too bright, thehallways are too loud, the
classroom is buzzing like abeehive, and their nervous
system is on high alert longbefore they ever walk through
your door.
If you have ever tried to walkthrough a hallway during passing
period without getting shoulderchecked by a sixth grader,
(02:59):
doused an axe body spray, youknow exactly what I mean.
It is basically a sensoryobstacle course.
So the only thing that somestudents can do in those moments
is pull the hood up, create alittle cave, and try to shrink
the world down to something theyfeel like they can manage.
(03:21):
This is where Polyvagel theorycomes in, Stephen Porgis' work
from 2011, that I'm gonna admitI completely nerded out on in
the mastermind.
Porgis talks about how ournervous systems are constantly
scanning for accused of safetyor danger.
When things feel threatening,maybe they're too loud or
(03:41):
chaotic or unpredictable, weslip into fight, flight, or
freeze.
That's the sympathetic nervoussystem hitting the gas.
But when we feel safe andconnected, the parasympathetic
system can step in and say,okay, you're safe, you can
breathe again.
And a hoodie can help flip thatswitch.
(04:03):
The deep, steady pressure of thefabric, the feeling of being
wrapped or contained is like aDIY weighted blanket.
And we've got research on this.
There's a 2015 study in theAmerican Journal of Occupational
Therapy by Reynolds andcolleagues that found deep
pressure stimulation likeweighted blankets or snug
(04:26):
clothing can significantlyreduce autonomic arousal and
increase feelings of calm.
In other words, something assimple as being wrapped up
tightly can tell the nervoussystem you're safe.
We're coming back to baseline.
If you've been around the Schoolfor School Counselors
Mastermind, you've heard me talkabout this before.
(04:48):
We've taken polyvagal theoryinto the cafeteria, into
classrooms, into the schoolcounseling office.
And we've asked, okay, so whatdoes safety actually look like
here for an actual kid?
Because it changes everythingabout the way you interpret
student behavior.
But back to the hoodie.
(05:09):
So for students with sensoryprocessing differences, ADHD,
maybe trauma histories, thatphysical boundary might be the
one thing that makes school feelsort of tolerable.
It becomes like a portable safespace in a world that feels very
unpredictable.
And for a lot of kids,especially those dealing with
(05:33):
school anxiety or sensoryoverload, that physical boundary
is the only thing keeping themregulated long enough to make it
through the day.
It makes me think about Evan, astudent that I worked with in
the past.
The same gray hoodie everysingle day, no matter the
forecast.
And every adult had an opinionabout it.
(05:55):
But when he finally trusted meenough that we could really
talk, he said, When I wear it, Ican't feel people looking at me
so much.
And for Evan, who had years ofinstability, that hoodie was a
shield.
It wasn't a fashion choice.
It was the one variable in hislife that he could count on.
(06:19):
And sometimes it's moreemotional than sensory.
Serenity started wearingoversized hoodies when she hit
puberty early and felt suddenlylike she was on display.
Tyson zipped his up during afamily divorce.
Hood up in every classroom,every day, just kind of a
walking, please don't ask meanything too real.
(06:41):
Different kids, differentbackgrounds, but same function.
It's regulation.
And once you see that, it'sreally hard to react to these
hoodies with annoyance.
Empathy really becomes the onlyresponse that makes any sense.
But regulation is only one partof this.
(07:01):
Sometimes that hoodie isn'tabout feeling safe, it's about
having a say.
Sometimes it's less aboutcomfort and more about control.
If we're honest, adolescence isbasically a really long
masterclass in not havingcontrol.
Adults decide the bell schedule,the dress code, the seating
(07:25):
chart, the assignments, theconsequences, the everything.
So what do kids do?
They look for something thatthey can own.
Psychologist Lauren Steinberghas written about this as a kind
of autonomy rehearsal.
The adolescent brain is wired totest limits, to push against
constraints, to practice beingits own boss.
(07:48):
And we see this in the researchtoo.
A 2013 study in developmentalcognitive neuroscience by Telzer
and colleagues found that theteenage brain is especially
tuned for novelty seeking andrisk taking in social contexts.
Clothing is a very low-stakesplace to experiment with that.
They can't control thecurriculum, they can't control
(08:10):
the fire drills, they can'tcontrol the group project
partners that they've beenassigned, but they can control
what's on their body.
The hoodie, the beanie, theshorts, the crop top, they
become tiny acts of autonomy.
So when an adult says, take thatoff, or you know you're not
(08:31):
supposed to wear that here, tothem, it's not about the hoodie
anymore.
It's about, do I get any say atall about anything that happens
in this place?
That's why you can have a kidwho follows almost every other
rule and still absolutely digsin on this one.
Because it's not about the item,it's about dignity.
(08:53):
And as school counselors, wehave a lot of power to be able
to help diffuse these standoffsby naming what's really
happening.
It seems like being able tochoose what you wear is really
important to you.
Or sounds like this is one areawhere you feel like you have
control.
So we're not arguing aboutcloth, we're acknowledging their
(09:16):
need for autonomy.
Inside the mastermind, we talk alot about this shift from
behavior management to autonomyconversations.
It's one of the reasons thatfolks inside the mastermind tell
me that their disciplinereferrals drop, even though
they're not the ones doingdiscipline.
They're just helping adults talkabout what the fight is actually
(09:39):
about.
But what about the kid who wearsthe same hoodie every day, even
when it doesn't seem to be aboutcomfort or defiance?
That's when we have to look atsomething deeper: who they are
and where they belong.
Because sometimes a hoodie isn'ta shield or a protest, it's a
(10:00):
signal.
Eric Erickson talked aboutadolescence as a crisis of
identity.
This is a season of trying onroles, experimenting with
self-expression, and trying toanswer the question, who am I,
really?
More recent research backs thisup.
A 2006 study in developmentalpsychology by Lysix and
(10:24):
colleagues found thatexperimenting with different
styles and identities isactually a healthy part of
adolescent development.
The teens who are allowed toexplore within reasonable
boundaries tend to be betteradjusted.
Clothing is one of the easiestways to do that.
A hoodie can be a billboard, afavorite band, a sports team, a
(10:47):
YouTuber or gamer, or even acultural or faith community.
It's a way of saying, this iswhere I land.
These are my people.
And in a world where socialbelonging can feel like life or
death, that matters.
These small choices are some ofthe clearest behavioral clues in
(11:07):
adolescence, the kind that tellyou far more about the student's
inner world than anything youcould find in their perm file.
Think about Mateo, who saved upforever to buy a Supreme hoodie.
He didn't care about the branditself, but he did care that the
skater kids he desperatelywanted to belong with were all
(11:29):
wearing those.
Or Destiny, who wore her youthgroup hoodie every Wednesday,
like clockwork.
For her, it was a badge ofbelonging and an open
invitation.
If you recognize this, you mightbe my people.
And then sometimes a hoodie isless about joining than it is
(11:50):
disappearing.
For kids who feel like theystick out because of body
changes, race, language, genderexpression, poverty, and on and
on, an oversized hoodie can becamouflage.
If they can blur their presencejust a little bit, maybe fewer
people will notice them.
(12:11):
And then on top of all that,there's the economic layer that
we don't talk about in schoolsenough.
Because in a lot of friendgroups, the price of admission
is a certain logo.
If you don't have it, you'reout.
For some students, ahand-me-down hoodie from an
older sibling or a lucky thriftstore find with the right brand
(12:33):
can become a lifeline.
Like I can't afford the wholelook, but I have this one thing
that says I could belong heretoo.
When we look at that hoodie,it's easy to think, why did I
care so much about labels?
But underneath, it's I'm tryingto survive the social economy of
this school.
(12:53):
As counselors, our job is tolook past the fabric and the
labels and look into that ache.
The need to be seen, the wantingto be claimed by some group, and
the ache to not be on theoutside looking in.
(13:13):
Those fashion choices can tellyou a lot about a student's
landscape and theirself-concept.
And this is where schoolcounselor fluency really shows
up.
Anyone can spot the hoodie.
No big deal.
It takes a fluent schoolcounselor to see what it is
(13:34):
saying.
But then there's the kid thatjust blows up every category.
Shorts in a blizzard, heavy coatin August, no clear pattern.
What do we do with that?
Well, sometimes a hoodie is justa hoodie.
(13:56):
It's a choice that does not makeany sense to us, but feels
exactly right to the kid that'swearing it.
Maybe it started as a sensorysomething and it turned into a
habit, or maybe it's a socialexperiment, or maybe it's
simply, I like this and youcan't stop me from wearing it.
The thing is, our job is not toturn every little wardrobe quirk
(14:21):
into a diagnosis, right?
Our job is to create space forself-discovery and to stay
genuinely curious.
This is where your assessmentbrain comes in.
Some questions that I love.
Is this a pattern or a one-off?
Does it seem to have a functionlike regulation, identity,
(14:44):
social signaling, modesty, orgender expression?
How does the student respondwhen you ask about it in a
non-threatening way?
What other data points do youhave?
Absences, grades, friendships,discipline, family stress?
When you start spotting thesesigns of student stress early,
all the little tiny signals thatmost adults usually overlook,
(15:07):
your whole approach to supportchanges.
A solution-focused approach fitsbeautifully here.
Instead of deciding what thehoodie means, we invite the
student to tell us if they wantto.
A 2021 systematic review in theJournal of School Counseling,
Schmidt and Schmidt, that lookedat solution-focused approaches
(15:30):
in school settings, found thatemphasizing strengths,
resources, and student-generatedinsight leads to significantly
better outcomes than traditionalproblem-focused work.
So instead of, why are youalways wearing that?
What's going on?
We try, I notice you've beenwearing that hoodie a lot.
(15:51):
Does it do something helpful foryou at school?
Or on the days that you feel alittle better, is there anything
different about what you chooseto wear?
It's subtle, right?
But it changes the power dynamicimmediately.
And just to be clear, the fourlenses we've talked about
regulation, autonomy, identity,belonging, those are not the
(16:15):
only ones that matter.
We also have to consider thingslike cultural and religious
norms, gender identity andexpression, family rules or
expectations, trauma history,and sometimes just plain old
personal preference.
The point isn't to cram astudent into a category.
(16:36):
The point is to refuse to settlefor the lazy explanation of
they're just being difficult.
Because sometimes kids are justbeing quirky and human.
And then sometimes they arequietly waving a red flag.
Curiosity is what helps us tellthe difference.
(16:58):
Inside the mastermind, that'sexactly the kind of thing that
we're pulling apart inconsultation chats.
Folks will say, okay, here's myhoodie, kid, here's the context,
here's the situation, help melook at this more clearly.
And by the time we're done, theconversation isn't about a
hoodie anymore.
It's about an intervention forthat particular student in that
(17:21):
particular situation thatactually makes sense.
So the question becomes what dowe do with all this?
How do we turn hoodie psychologyinto real-world support without
pathologizing kids or ignoringred flags?
When you walk back into thathallway and see 10 hoodies
(17:44):
before first period, think aboutthe cloak method, because of
course I would name it cloak,right?
Cloak.
C is for curiosity overcertainty.
Lead with, I wonder what thisdoes for them, instead of, oh I
know what that means.
(18:06):
Because the second that youdecide you already know, you
stop listening.
L, look for patterns.
One day of shorts in the snow isa funny story.
Four weeks in a row plusslipping grades and withdrawing
from friends becomes a pattern.
You're not a fashion policeofficer, but you are a data
(18:29):
collector.
So look for patterns.
Oh, open the conversation.
When it feels appropriate andyou have some rapport, invite
reflection with some verynon-judgmental questions.
How does that hoodie help youget through the day?
Are there days that you feellike you don't need it as much?
(18:50):
No interrogation, right?
No agenda, just genuinecuriosity.
And sometimes it'll uncoversomething and sometimes it
won't.
A.
Assess function and meaning.
Based on everything you know,history, academics, behavior,
family, what role might thisclothing be playing?
(19:12):
Is it regulation, autonomy,identity or belonging, modesty,
gender safety, or is it justself-expression because they
like the color?
Again, you won't always get ananswer, but the act of wondering
keeps you from jumping straightto they're being defiant.
And then K, keep an eye out forred flags.
(19:36):
You're watching for the shifts,the sudden change to all
concealing clothing, newinsistence on hiding the body,
pairing these clothing changeswith self-harm talk or body
shame comments or withdrawingfrom others, or drastic style
shifts after a known trauma orbig family event.
(19:59):
These are the don't ignore thismoments.
And above all, remember,especially when we're working
with adolescents, weird is notthe same as worrisome.
Our goal is not to eliminate thehoodies.
Our goal is to build a schoolculture where kids can show up
(20:20):
as they are and where adults arefluent enough to notice when a
clothing change is doing someheavier lifting.
This is where your counselorfluency matters way more than
any tool or any curriculum.
There is not a single worksheeton the planet that can tell you
what that hoodie means.
No printable is going to be ableto decode it for you.
(20:44):
Fluency does that.
Your clinical judgment doesthat.
The way you think does that.
And if you're listening andthinking, I want more of that,
more fluency and less guessing,that's exactly what we build
together inside the mastermind.
We don't hand you a list ofcanned interventions.
(21:06):
We help you become the counselorwho can see this kind of nuance
in real time.
So picture this with me.
Same hallway, same student in ahoodie, same puzzle teachers
walking by.
The scene hasn't changed, butyou have.
You see more now.
(21:27):
You see how that hoodie might bea regulation tool to take away
the sensory edges of a reallyharsh day.
You see how it might be a littleact of autonomy in a world where
adults call most of the shots.
You see how it might be a markerof identity or a badge of
belonging or a way to disappearjust enough to feel safe.
(21:49):
And most importantly, you see itas communication, not a problem
to be handled.
These seemingly irrationalclothing choices that students
make, they're hardly everrandom.
They've been carrying meaningthis whole time.
And now you have better tools tohelp decode it.
(22:12):
You can be the adult who says,This looks different.
I'm curious about what'shappening instead of, why are
you doing this to make my jobharder?
You've heard that on Canvas,right?
You can help create classroomswhere a hoodie is met with
empathy instead of instantsuspicion.
You can build relationshipswhere students feel safe enough
(22:34):
to take the hood down.
Not because you made them, butbecause they don't need the
armor as much around you.
That's the work.
So as we wrap up, I want you tothink of one student who came to
mind while you were listening.
What did you used to assumeabout their clothing?
And what's one tiny shift inyour approach that you want to
(22:57):
try the next time that you seethem in the hallway?
If you're willing, just jottheir initials down somewhere
just to give yourself a realmoment with this.
Because that's how fluencygrows.
One kid, one reframe, oneconversation at a time.
(23:18):
So thanks for joining me on thisdeep dive into the psychology of
hoodies and teenage behavior.
I hope you are walking away witha fresh lens, though.
Maybe a little more compassionand some concrete ways that you
can respond differently or thatyou can show to your staff.
(23:38):
If you found value in thisepisode, would you share it with
a colleague who has a hoodie kidthat they worry about?
Forward it, text it, bring it upin your next PLC.
Because little by little, that'show we're going to change the
way the school seek kids.
And if you're craving more ofthis kind of support, real talk,
(23:58):
research-backed strategy, and acommunity of counselors who care
about fluency more than cuteideas, I'd love to see you
inside the School for SchoolCounselors Master.
It's where we take episodes likethis and we turn them into real,
on-the-ground problem solvingfor your actual campus.
(24:19):
And next week on the podcast,we're getting into the mystery
that haunts every schoolcounselor's conscience.
Why do kids wait until the finalbell or the day before a break
to drop the biggest bombs of theyear?
We're gonna have a field daywith this one, so if you haven't
already, make sure you'resubscribed so you don't miss it.
(24:43):
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
Podcast.
Until next time, keep shiningthat light and fighting the good
fight because your students needyou more than ever.
Take care.
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