May 5, 2025 • 30 mins
You love school counseling.
You believe in the mission.
But right now, it just isn't feeling right.
If you’ve been wondering whether you’re burned out, questioning if you can make it through another year, or feeling disconnected from the work you once loved... this episode is for you.
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why April and May hit school counselors especially hard
- The difference between burnout and professional fatigue
- Five evidence-based strategies to protect your energy, motivation, and heart
- Why now is not the time to make big career decisions
Forget about self-care clichés. We need to talk about real tools to help you finish strong- and remind you why you started in the first place.
Whether you're tired, frustrated, or just not feeling like yourself at work...
You're not alone. And you're not broken.
Let’s talk about how to keep showing up without burning out.
**********************************
⭐️ Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us! ⭐️
**********************************
Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you've caught yourself wondering here lately,
can I really do this again?
You are probably not alone.
April and May are tough.
Everything kicks off,everybody's running even faster
than usual and then you have thefatigue that sets in.
Right that miles-long race tothe finish line.
(00:23):
Everybody's sick of each other.
Right that miles long race tothe finish line.
Everybody's sick of each other,and you're all just so tired of
striving and striving and going.
April and May also tend to cloudyour judgment a little bit,
definitely kind of put a damperon some of your joy and maybe
even your sense of purpose foryour work.
(00:44):
It's chaotic, it's emotional,it's exhausting and it is also
not the time to be making bigcareer choices.
So what you're feeling rightnow is probably not burnout.
If you've made it this far inthe school year, my money is
that you're feeling somethingentirely different.
(01:05):
It might be professionalfatigue.
In this episode of the Schoolfor School Counselors podcast,
I'm going to let you listen inon a mini masterclass that I
provided to my School for SchoolCounselors mastermind members.
We talked about whatprofessional fatigue really is
(01:26):
and how to keep going andpushing through without losing
the part of you that reallycares about your work.
And we didn't talk about fluffystuff.
We didn't talk about me time orscheduled self-care or any of
that baloney that never works inthe real world.
We talked about real,sustainable ways that you can
(01:49):
protect your energy, protectyour time and your fire, your
passion for your work, even whenyou feel like you've hit the
wall in a marathon.
So if you're tired, if you'restill trying to push through,
but you feel stretched thin, youfeel ready to give up, or
you're wondering if you reallyhave another school year in you,
(02:11):
this episode is for you.
Hey there, welcome back to theSchool for School Counselors
podcast.
I'm Steph Johnson, a licensedprofessional counselor,
full-time school counselor, justlike you, and the founder of
School for School Counselors,where we've been leading the
school counseling conversationsince 2020.
(02:33):
This is a podcast for schoolcounselors who are juggling it
all and you're wondering whenit's all finally going to make
sense.
If you're tired of schoolcounseling advice that sounds
like it came from Pinterest,you're in the right place Around
here.
We're keeping it real, we'rekeeping it grounded and we back
our information with clinicalresearch, not trends and
(02:56):
opinions, because you deservemore than pretty graphics and
recycled ideas.
If you're ready to get clear,get bold and recycled ideas.
If you're ready to get clear,get bold and get moving.
Let's stop guessing, let'sstart leading.
Here we go, all right.
So, as I told you, we're goingto be listening in on a real
(03:18):
mini masterclass that I heldwith my School for School
Counselors mastermind members.
I did this masterclass about amonth ago because I wanted to
make sure that they were fullyequipped for the rest of the
spring semester.
I wanted them feeling confidentand inspired as they endeavored
toward the end of the schoolyear, and I thought it would
probably be helpful to you too.
So I'm going to let you listenin, but I want to let you know,
(03:42):
even though you will only hearme in this podcast episode you
will only hear my voice therewas tons of discussion and
member feedback along the way.
Those, of course, have beenedited out in the interest of
confidentiality and of brevity,but I promise you there is such
rich, awesome conversation goingon in the mastermind that, if
(04:03):
you love this masterclass, youhave only seen a taste of what's
in store for you when you joinus in the School for School
Counselors mastermind.
All right, here we go.
All right.
So we're going to be talkingabout maintaining professional
stamina.
What I did not want to do withthis and what I was very, very
(04:24):
afraid of was giving you somesort of holier-than-thou,
self-care-sounding talk where itfeels like you know we're just
saying take care of yourself,make sure you me time.
All this stuff.
That doesn't help in the spring.
I don't know about y'all, butthat does not help me in the
spring, when behaviors are offthe wall, everyone's irritable
(04:47):
and angry.
It feels like teachers arestressed, admins are stressed
and nothing for nothing.
People start moving around alot on campuses this time of
year, and so not only do youhave the movement and the
consternation and anticipationthat causes, but then you also
see people surrounding thosemoves start to get really
nervous, right?
(05:08):
Because maybe their teams arechanging or maybe they're
worried that their teams aregoing to be changing and admins
are interviewing and it's just abunch of stuff going on all at
once.
So how do we maintainprofessional stamina in the
spring, knowing that we'rewalking into environments where
there's a lot more behavior,where there are a lot more
(05:29):
parents who feel like it's timeto finally get vocal, where we
have testing, anxiety and allthe things going on?
How do we keep our bearings?
How do we make sure that we cankeep it all together in the
spring?
So I came up with five ideas,and the good news is these are
evidence-based.
I can provide the researchcitations for you, so these are
(05:50):
not just out of my head.
This is like I always say.
It didn't come from me, out ofthe Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru.
But as we walk through thespring, we need to keep in mind
that when we start to feel likewe're experiencing burnout, it
may not actually be burnout.
It may be systemic drain, whichis a little bit different,
because you're being drained bythe imperfect system within
(06:14):
which you work.
And as school counselors, weare no strangers to this,
because we have a lot of reallywild expectations of our roles,
people who don't understand whatwe do and are expecting
entirely too much of us.
And again, you know, as wecrescendo in the spring, it just
feels more and more intense.
So it's important to keep inmind that it's not you, you are
(06:37):
not the one that is broken.
It is a system that is notaligned for you.
The system is broken, it is notyou, but you still have to work
in it, right, it's not like wecan do what a lot of people tell
you, draw those boundaries.
You know like, hold the line.
I don't know if you've evertried that on a school campus,
(07:00):
but it doesn't workexceptionally well.
So what can we do instead?
What can we do to work withinthis system to maintain our
stamina so we don't feel likewe're burned out by the time we
get to May or June?
First is protecting our start,which seems kind of silly, but,
like I said, there is anevidence base behind this.
(07:20):
Controlling our day, having aquiet entrance to the day, maybe
adjusting our start time alittle bit, if we can, so that
we have kind of that gradualentry into what we're going to
be doing.
Maybe focusing on anaffirmation or an image to
remind us why we keep showing up.
My official on-duty time on mycampus is 7.15.
(07:44):
That's when I'm expected to beready to start, and in my place.
So I typically try to get towork between 6.45 and 7 o'clock.
That gives me enough time towalk in the door, turn on the
lights, get the coffee makergoing.
That's the most important part.
Check the calendar and just kindof try to ease into the day.
I'll look over my list ofstudents that need to be seen,
(08:06):
kind of triage them in my headand just mentally prepare myself
for what's coming up in the day.
I find that the mornings that Idon't do that and I come flying
in at the last minute, my wholeday feels like chaos.
So easing into your day is oneway that you can maintain your
professional stamina.
Now, some of you may not havethat luxury and I get that so if
(08:29):
you don't, you might want tofind other times of the day that
you can just stop and take abrief pause.
What are some times that youcan just take five minutes to
kind of recalibrate and thinkabout why it is that you're
there?
It sounds so stupid, but Ipromise you there is an evidence
base behind this.
So think about what is one thingthat you can implement tomorrow
(08:51):
to protect the start of yourday.
One thing that you canimplement tomorrow Is it getting
there five minutes earlier, isit making sure that you've got
your caseload list arranged andorganized for the following day.
What is it that is going tohelp you protect the start of
(09:14):
your day so that you can startin the right frame of mind?
I want you to seriously thinkabout that right now.
Be intentional about this,write it down, do something so
you don't forget.
The second thing we're going todo is set a limit.
(09:35):
Even if we can't say no, we'regoing to set a limit.
Now, this is a little bitdifferent than setting a
boundary.
So normally people will tellyou things like that's not a
school counselor responsibility.
You have to set that boundary.
You have to say that is not myresponsibility, According to the
ASCA guidelines, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
That never works.
(09:56):
I've never had one singleperson come tell me that that
was effective.
But we have to remember thatleadership on your campus does
not mean that you have tooverfunction so so often because
we can and we're in a positionsometimes to shoulder a little
bit more of the load.
Sometimes we know the situationsmore intimately than some of
(10:18):
the other people on our campuses.
We tend to take on a little bitmore responsibility than is
absolutely necessary.
So we have to know when ourpart of things is done and we
have to be able to contribute tosituations without solving them
.
That is hard, especially whenyou have people coming to you
(10:39):
with like behavior concerns, orthis kid is going to fail or
whatever is going on on yourcampus.
You can contribute your skillsand expertise, but you don't
necessarily have to solveeverything.
But it's easy for us to fallinto that default mode right of,
I'm a fixer.
(10:59):
We can't fix it and solveeverything.
Sometimes other people are in aposition to do that as well.
Follow up on things, but don'tchase.
Some of our reluctant parentscome to mind.
Now, I'm not saying call themonce and then give up.
That's not what I'm saying atall.
And we know that buildingrelationships with distant
parents are really important.
But at some point we have tostop chasing right.
(11:23):
We don't wanna be like therejected boyfriend that just
can't take no for an answer.
We wanna be able to know whento stop, and I think we're okay
with that.
But sometimes we over-pursuesituations or we over-pursue
trying to get the reactions thatwe want to get from other
people.
We over-invest in certainthings, so we've got to be real
(11:44):
careful about that.
And then supporting but notimplementing by ourselves Is
this really our load to carry?
This week's topic in thepodcast behavior plans comes to
mind.
We cannot solely be responsiblefor those behavior plans.
Ideally, we would be on a teamthat's helping implement right,
(12:07):
and so we want to make sure thatwe put ourselves in a position
to support as often as we canwithout implementing.
So why am I talking about this?
Because, especially this timeof year, when things get rolling
and we're running 100 miles anhour, a lot of us have a default
mode of just going.
Let me just take care of it.
Let me just take care of it.
Let me just take care of itBecause it's easier than having
(12:30):
to find people or get people tobuy in or to delegate or to come
back around and check up.
Sometimes it just feels easierto do it yourself.
But you may be also degradingyour professional stamina if you
choose that route.
So set a limit, even if youcan't say no, and that's not
necessarily an outward limit,that might just be a limit for
(12:51):
you.
Yes, I will help with thissituation, but I'm only going
this far.
I'm not offering anything else.
Does that make sense?
Let's look at this before we goon.
Where might you be overreaching?
What are some situations whereyou might be overreaching that
you don't necessarily need to?
Could be behavior, could bestudent academics, could be
(13:15):
parents, attendance, committeework.
Where are you overreaching sothat you can kind of tamp back
from that a little bit?
You can kind of let go,everybody with me, all right.
Number three make micro momentsof joy, not of rest.
(13:40):
Usually, when people aretalking about not burning out or
professional self-care andthings like that, and they say,
you know, take just a fewminutes, take some deep breaths,
be mindful, and all that isgreat, but if you really want to
maintain professional stamina,you need to be chasing moments
of joy instead, because youdon't need a nap, you need a
(14:02):
spark of joy.
That's what's going to get allthose hormones pumping.
That's what's going to help youfeel better about your work and
more optimistic about whyyou're there and what you're
doing.
So you need to be chasingintentional moments of joy, of
awe, of connection.
What is it that powers youthrough your day?
(14:24):
What are those little microglimpses of things that you can
catch, that can carry youforward?
And don't just notice them andlet them move by.
Really sit in them, reallysavor those moments.
True story I was in a classroomthis morning with a kid that is
just really giving his teacher arun for her money, and so I
(14:46):
walked in and I was implementingthe behavior plan that had been
written by one of our behaviorspecialists and so far had not
been touched.
And so I was in there modelingfor the teacher how to implement
this behavior plan.
And this little dude is doingeverything he can do to try to
be a turkey.
And finally he caught on towhat I was doing.
Every time I saw him dosomething that was positive in
(15:07):
the classroom, he got a tallymark.
It was that simple and I wasreally hyping him up.
Hey, every tally mark.
It was that simple and I wasreally hyping him up.
Hey, every tally mark you get,you're going to get to spend a
minute with me at the end of theday.
Hey, how many tally marks canwe get before you leave for
music?
I'm just really hyping it up.
And about I don't know 10minutes into it, the class was
getting up.
They were transitioning toanother activity.
He got up, walked over to me,looked me right in the eye and
(15:36):
he said Ms Johnson, I never knewbeing good could be so much fun
.
And that was my moment todayand I was like, oh, I'm going to
hold on to that because he'sfinally getting something.
He may not remember it tomorrow, but today he felt that and
that was my goal and I may carrythat for a couple of weeks,
because I was super excited tohear it out of that one kiddo.
See what kind of intentionalmoments of connection or joy or
(15:57):
awe you can find in your day,there's going to be something
right, even if it's just.
You know, the kid that neversmiles smiles at you.
It could be something reallysimple.
But collect those moments ofjoy, especially when you're
feeling tired and defeated.
Especially when you're feelingtired and defeated, what brings
you the most joy in your workand what can you chase?
(16:17):
What are the things in your daythat you can intentionally look
for?
It's like, you know, whenpeople tell you, don't look for
red cars, you see themeverywhere, right?
What are the things you'regoing to be looking for that
you're going to bring to theforefront of your mind?
All right.
So we have kind of slow startedour morning.
(16:37):
We've gotten it off on theright foot, we have kind of
decided where we're going todraw the line for ourselves as
far as how involved we're goingto get in situations, and we're
chasing those intentionalmoments of joy.
The next thing we're going to doand this is kind of a hard one
for me to talk about ismeasuring the right things, and
the reason that I say that isespecially in our school
(17:00):
counseling world, where we areexpected to be so data-driven,
down to recording how we'respending our time minute by
minute.
It is so easy to fall into themindset of that is what matters.
It is so easy to fall into themindset of that is what matters,
right, and we're constantlycriticizing ourselves, measuring
(17:21):
ourselves, sometimes critiquingourselves by the way our time
is running throughout our day,and we get caught up in a
feeling of responsibility forthe things that we're being
asked to do.
Now we talk a lot about that indata discussions, but really
the point I want to drive homehere is we can't just measure
ourselves by our use of time andour moment-to-moment
(17:42):
obligations, because thatdoesn't give the full picture of
what we do or why we're there.
The institutional metrics arejust supporting pieces of data,
but really what we want to belooking at are the personal
outcomes, the relationaloutcomes, the reason that we all
got into school counseling inthe first place.
(18:03):
When we used to hold our get thejob cohorts and we would ask
people what brought you intoschool counseling or what's the
number one thing that you mostwant to achieve as a school
counselor, nine times out of 10,people would say building
relationships right, buildingrelationships with kids,
building relationships withcommunity all those things.
Our work is about therelationship.
(18:24):
It's what draws us in.
We're relationship people, sowe can't forsake that part of us
.
For the institutional metrics.
It's great to know how muchnon-counseling time you have,
it's great to know how muchdirect contact with students you
have.
All those are helpful anduseful, but they don't define
you, and so we've got to besuper careful that we don't fall
(18:48):
into that trap of definingourselves just by our numbers.
So what values are mostimportant to you in your work?
What do you really want tostand for as a school counselor?
I'm going to finish up with ourmini masterclass here, the last
one.
I really want to emphasize thisLet people be wrong about you.
(19:11):
Just let them and I'm nottrying to steal the title of
that new book, but let them bewrong about you.
We, as school counselors, carryso much on our shoulders as far
as our reputations, people'sperceptions of the work we do,
and now, with many of us havingmandates where we have to log
(19:31):
our time minute by minute, wefeel that pressure too.
We feel the pressure of are wedoing enough?
Are we doing enough in theright categories?
Or, you know, looking at thatinstitutional data rather than
our own values, data in our work, and it gets overwhelming.
I'll be real honest with you Onmy campus there is one
particular teacher that sparesno opportunity to try to, you
(19:57):
know, hoist something else ontome.
She doesn't think I work veryhard.
She thinks my job is very easy.
She thinks that I must have alot of downtime because she
doesn't see what I do all dayright.
And we all have people likethat on our campuses that don't
understand our work, that don'tknow what we do, and I used to
be one of those people.
Before I became a schoolcounselor, I didn't have any
(20:20):
idea what I was going to bedoing.
I thought I was going to betalking to kids about their
feelings and that was going tobe pretty much it.
I didn't know when I decided itwas time to leave the classroom
.
That was some of the criteria Iused to select counseling
instead of something else.
It looked pretty easy.
I figured I'd be able to go tothe bathroom whenever I needed
(20:40):
to and that was good enough forme.
I'd be real, real with you.
So if I thought that, I know wehave other people on our
campuses that feel that way.
So we have to let people bewrong about us and we have to be
okay with that.
We have to get to the pointthat it just doesn't bother us
anymore.
(21:00):
Let them do what they're gonnado.
It doesn't change me, itdoesn't change the impact of my
work or how I feel about it.
That sounds simple, but that isreally hard to do, right?
And some of you may be in thatsituation now where you just
feel like you're just constantlybeing judged, you're being
watched, people are wonderingwhat you're doing.
So right now, think of twopeople and I don't want you to
(21:23):
say their names out loud butthink of two people whose
opinions you're not gonna letmatter anymore.
Who are the naysayers, thecriticizers, the ones that give
you the look?
Who are those people?
Imagine their name, get it inyour head, see their face and in
(21:43):
your mind's eye, tell them youropinion of me doesn't matter
anymore.
That seems simple, but I'mtelling you it is so profound
Once you can get there and letgo of the weight of their
expectations on your shoulders.
Really really hard to do, butso worth it and so beneficial to
(22:08):
your stamina on campus.
Your stamina is not aboutpushing through.
It's about protecting yourfocus, your fire and your reason
for doing what you do, forshowing up every day and serving
students and families,community members, sometimes
staff members.
(22:28):
Your professional stamina iswhat allows you to get all the
way to the finish line at theend of the school year, and it's
not easy.
I used to run marathons a lot.
I was on a running team and wewould run together.
If you've ever run a race likethat, you know that there's a
point about between mile 20 and22,.
A marathon is 26 miles whereyou hit the wall, where you feel
(22:52):
like you just can't go anotherstep, where you feel like why
did I sign up for this?
I was crazy.
There's no way I can do this.
I'm not going to make it.
It is wild the ideas that youhave in your mind as you're
running and I don't want you tohit the wall.
I ran a race one time in Dallas,texas.
(23:14):
It was at the American AirlineCenter, if you're familiar with
Dallas a huge, huge venue, and Iwas running on one of the
charity teams.
We had raised money for cancerresearch.
We were waiting under thestands to go out and run the
race.
It was super cold.
We were all kind of huddledtogether and an older gentleman
walked up and he said hey, Ijust want to thank you for what
you're doing.
And we all were just kind oflike oh yeah, you know no
(23:35):
problem, yeah, we, we love to doit.
And he goes no, you don'tunderstand.
He said the money that youraise through your organization
is the money that funded themedicine that's keeping me alive
.
And we were like, oh my good,like, oh my like.
You're never prepared forsomebody to tell you something
(23:56):
like that.
And he had tears in his eyes.
His wife was there.
They were both crying.
Just thank you so much for whatyou do.
You have no idea the impact.
Race right and we start running.
That was the race that I hitthe wall the hardest, mile 21.
And I'll never forget.
(24:20):
I looked at my marathon partner,who's still, to this day, my
best girlfriend, and I looked ather and I said I can't do this
anymore.
I can't, I cannot finish thisrace.
And she's like no, no, come on,steph, you got to do it, you
can.
I'm like no, you don'tunderstand, I can't do it.
And I took two or three stepsover towards the curb, over to
the side of the race, and I wasready to drop out and about step
two or three, I hear somebodyshouting from the sidelines
(24:42):
y'all, this is a true story.
He was yelling for me, go, go.
And he was calling me my racingnickname was Fast Dog.
Long story, we wore it on ourjerseys Go, fast Dog, you can do
this, don't give up.
Now how he knew that I washeading that direction to drop
out, I will never know, but itwas that same man.
Come on, you can do this, keepgoing, keep going.
(25:04):
And I felt this surge of energyand of hope and optimism.
And my body still hurts so bad.
Hope and optimism, and my bodystill hurts so bad.
But I was determined to keepgoing and I finished that race.
And so I want you to focus onthings like that.
What's going to bring youacross the finish line, what's
(25:24):
going to restore your faith andhope and optimism?
And I hope some of these ideashave maybe helped you aim in
that direction.
And, if not, let us be yourcheerleaders and let us give you
across the finish line, becauseit's way more fun to finish the
school year feeling invigoratedand energized than completely
beat down right.
(25:46):
You don't have to be a machineto get through this.
You just have to keep yourheart intact, and that's the
stuff we never talk about in theschool counseling world.
We talk about self-care andboundaries and appropriate
responsibilities, but we nevertalk about keeping our hearts
intact and what it is we need tofuel our soul as we move
(26:09):
through our work.
So this isn't about survivingthe school year as we move
through our work.
So this isn't about survivingthe school year.
It's about protecting theversion of you that still cares,
because once you get to thepoint that you're indifferent
and you don't care, that's whenyou know you're in burnout.
Make sense, all right.
(26:31):
So which are you going to startfirst Out of the five that we
talked about?
All the strategies, all thetactics what is the one thing
that you're gonna start first?
Make an intentional commitmentto doing that.
I would love to know what youchoose.
(26:52):
I would love to know if anybodyhas some ideas about what do
you want to start with first?
All right, I'm going to letthis go here.
I'd really honestly didn't meanfor this to go this long.
It almost ended up like a fullmaster class tonight.
So thanks for hanging in therewith me on this, but it was just
, it was really on my heart andI felt like we just needed a
(27:12):
boost and we needed someencouragement for the rest of
the spring semester to bring usacross the finish line.
So I appreciate youparticipating in this with me
today.
All right, I hope you enjoyedthat peek into some of the
things that are going on in ourSchool for School Counselors,
mastermind, and I hope it helpedyou reconsider how you're
(27:35):
working on campus these daysSome small shifts and
intentionalities that you canbring into your day to really
help you maintain your staminato get across the finish line
and declare victory at the endof the school year.
Hey, as I mentioned before,there was tons of conversation
and insights and ideas that cameabout as part of this
(27:58):
masterclass.
Those were edited out because Ididn't want to disclose other
mastermind members' information.
I wanted to keep it on the upand up here in this episode.
But if you can imagine thedepth of information that we're
turning out in the mastermindand then also the richness of
the discussion and the ideas andthe insights, I hope you are
(28:21):
realizing that this is the placefor you, even though the school
year is almost over for most ofus.
We are gearing up for somepretty amazing things going on
in our mastermind this summer.
We're going to continue withour monthly masterclasses.
We are going to continue withour weekly chats.
(28:41):
Those are going to be turninginto a no-stress book study
during the summer so that we candevelop our skills and become
more competent and confident inour craft.
We use the summer for doingthat so that when the fall comes
around we're ready to rock androll.
We are also right now heavyduty in the middle of planning
(29:02):
season for closing out thisschool year and starting the
next school year with a minimumof stress, with a minimum of
overwhelm, so that we can justwalk in and know exactly which
direction to start going.
So if that sounds wonderful toyou and I hope that it does you
can get more information aboutthe School for School Counselors
(29:22):
Mastermind atschoolforschoolcounselorscom.
Slash mastermind.
All right, well, that's it forthis episode.
My friend, if you're ready fortools that actually work and
support from someone who iswalking the same hallways that
you are day in and day out, makesure you follow the podcast and
stick with me, because herewe're not gonna be giving you
(29:44):
trends or fluff.
We're only gonna be giving youreal talk for real school
counselors, because we'restronger and smarter together.
I'll be back again soon withanother episode and in the
meantime, I hope you have thebest week.
Take care.
If you've caught yourself wondering here lately,
can I really do this again?
You are probably not alone.
April and May are tough.
Everything kicks off,everybody's running even faster
than usual and then you have thefatigue that sets in.
Right that miles-long race tothe finish line.
(00:23):
Everybody's sick of each other.
Right that miles long race tothe finish line.
Everybody's sick of each other,and you're all just so tired of
striving and striving and going.
April and May also tend to cloudyour judgment a little bit,
definitely kind of put a damperon some of your joy and maybe
even your sense of purpose foryour work.
(00:44):
It's chaotic, it's emotional,it's exhausting and it is also
not the time to be making bigcareer choices.
So what you're feeling rightnow is probably not burnout.
If you've made it this far inthe school year, my money is
that you're feeling somethingentirely different.
(01:05):
It might be professionalfatigue.
In this episode of the Schoolfor School Counselors podcast,
I'm going to let you listen inon a mini masterclass that I
provided to my School for SchoolCounselors mastermind members.
We talked about whatprofessional fatigue really is
(01:26):
and how to keep going andpushing through without losing
the part of you that reallycares about your work.
And we didn't talk about fluffystuff.
We didn't talk about me time orscheduled self-care or any of
that baloney that never works inthe real world.
We talked about real,sustainable ways that you can
(01:49):
protect your energy, protectyour time and your fire, your
passion for your work, even whenyou feel like you've hit the
wall in a marathon.
So if you're tired, if you'restill trying to push through,
but you feel stretched thin, youfeel ready to give up, or
you're wondering if you reallyhave another school year in you,
(02:11):
this episode is for you.
Hey there, welcome back to theSchool for School Counselors
podcast.
I'm Steph Johnson, a licensedprofessional counselor,
full-time school counselor, justlike you, and the founder of
School for School Counselors,where we've been leading the
school counseling conversationsince 2020.
(02:33):
This is a podcast for schoolcounselors who are juggling it
all and you're wondering whenit's all finally going to make
sense.
If you're tired of schoolcounseling advice that sounds
like it came from Pinterest,you're in the right place Around
here.
We're keeping it real, we'rekeeping it grounded and we back
our information with clinicalresearch, not trends and
(02:56):
opinions, because you deservemore than pretty graphics and
recycled ideas.
If you're ready to get clear,get bold and recycled ideas.
If you're ready to get clear,get bold and get moving.
Let's stop guessing, let'sstart leading.
Here we go, all right.
So, as I told you, we're goingto be listening in on a real
(03:18):
mini masterclass that I heldwith my School for School
Counselors mastermind members.
I did this masterclass about amonth ago because I wanted to
make sure that they were fullyequipped for the rest of the
spring semester.
I wanted them feeling confidentand inspired as they endeavored
toward the end of the schoolyear, and I thought it would
probably be helpful to you too.
So I'm going to let you listenin, but I want to let you know,
(03:42):
even though you will only hearme in this podcast episode you
will only hear my voice therewas tons of discussion and
member feedback along the way.
Those, of course, have beenedited out in the interest of
confidentiality and of brevity,but I promise you there is such
rich, awesome conversation goingon in the mastermind that, if
(04:03):
you love this masterclass, youhave only seen a taste of what's
in store for you when you joinus in the School for School
Counselors mastermind.
All right, here we go.
All right.
So we're going to be talkingabout maintaining professional
stamina.
What I did not want to do withthis and what I was very, very
(04:24):
afraid of was giving you somesort of holier-than-thou,
self-care-sounding talk where itfeels like you know we're just
saying take care of yourself,make sure you me time.
All this stuff.
That doesn't help in the spring.
I don't know about y'all, butthat does not help me in the
spring, when behaviors are offthe wall, everyone's irritable
(04:47):
and angry.
It feels like teachers arestressed, admins are stressed
and nothing for nothing.
People start moving around alot on campuses this time of
year, and so not only do youhave the movement and the
consternation and anticipationthat causes, but then you also
see people surrounding thosemoves start to get really
nervous, right?
(05:08):
Because maybe their teams arechanging or maybe they're
worried that their teams aregoing to be changing and admins
are interviewing and it's just abunch of stuff going on all at
once.
So how do we maintainprofessional stamina in the
spring, knowing that we'rewalking into environments where
there's a lot more behavior,where there are a lot more
(05:29):
parents who feel like it's timeto finally get vocal, where we
have testing, anxiety and allthe things going on?
How do we keep our bearings?
How do we make sure that we cankeep it all together in the
spring?
So I came up with five ideas,and the good news is these are
evidence-based.
I can provide the researchcitations for you, so these are
(05:50):
not just out of my head.
This is like I always say.
It didn't come from me, out ofthe Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru.
But as we walk through thespring, we need to keep in mind
that when we start to feel likewe're experiencing burnout, it
may not actually be burnout.
It may be systemic drain, whichis a little bit different,
because you're being drained bythe imperfect system within
(06:14):
which you work.
And as school counselors, weare no strangers to this,
because we have a lot of reallywild expectations of our roles,
people who don't understand whatwe do and are expecting
entirely too much of us.
And again, you know, as wecrescendo in the spring, it just
feels more and more intense.
So it's important to keep inmind that it's not you, you are
(06:37):
not the one that is broken.
It is a system that is notaligned for you.
The system is broken, it is notyou, but you still have to work
in it, right, it's not like wecan do what a lot of people tell
you, draw those boundaries.
You know like, hold the line.
I don't know if you've evertried that on a school campus,
(07:00):
but it doesn't workexceptionally well.
So what can we do instead?
What can we do to work withinthis system to maintain our
stamina so we don't feel likewe're burned out by the time we
get to May or June?
First is protecting our start,which seems kind of silly, but,
like I said, there is anevidence base behind this.
(07:20):
Controlling our day, having aquiet entrance to the day, maybe
adjusting our start time alittle bit, if we can, so that
we have kind of that gradualentry into what we're going to
be doing.
Maybe focusing on anaffirmation or an image to
remind us why we keep showing up.
My official on-duty time on mycampus is 7.15.
(07:44):
That's when I'm expected to beready to start, and in my place.
So I typically try to get towork between 6.45 and 7 o'clock.
That gives me enough time towalk in the door, turn on the
lights, get the coffee makergoing.
That's the most important part.
Check the calendar and just kindof try to ease into the day.
I'll look over my list ofstudents that need to be seen,
(08:06):
kind of triage them in my headand just mentally prepare myself
for what's coming up in the day.
I find that the mornings that Idon't do that and I come flying
in at the last minute, my wholeday feels like chaos.
So easing into your day is oneway that you can maintain your
professional stamina.
Now, some of you may not havethat luxury and I get that so if
(08:29):
you don't, you might want tofind other times of the day that
you can just stop and take abrief pause.
What are some times that youcan just take five minutes to
kind of recalibrate and thinkabout why it is that you're
there?
It sounds so stupid, but Ipromise you there is an evidence
base behind this.
So think about what is one thingthat you can implement tomorrow
(08:51):
to protect the start of yourday.
One thing that you canimplement tomorrow Is it getting
there five minutes earlier, isit making sure that you've got
your caseload list arranged andorganized for the following day.
What is it that is going tohelp you protect the start of
(09:14):
your day so that you can startin the right frame of mind?
I want you to seriously thinkabout that right now.
Be intentional about this,write it down, do something so
you don't forget.
The second thing we're going todo is set a limit.
(09:35):
Even if we can't say no, we'regoing to set a limit.
Now, this is a little bitdifferent than setting a
boundary.
So normally people will tellyou things like that's not a
school counselor responsibility.
You have to set that boundary.
You have to say that is not myresponsibility, According to the
ASCA guidelines, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
That never works.
(09:56):
I've never had one singleperson come tell me that that
was effective.
But we have to remember thatleadership on your campus does
not mean that you have tooverfunction so so often because
we can and we're in a positionsometimes to shoulder a little
bit more of the load.
Sometimes we know the situationsmore intimately than some of
(10:18):
the other people on our campuses.
We tend to take on a little bitmore responsibility than is
absolutely necessary.
So we have to know when ourpart of things is done and we
have to be able to contribute tosituations without solving them
.
That is hard, especially whenyou have people coming to you
(10:39):
with like behavior concerns, orthis kid is going to fail or
whatever is going on on yourcampus.
You can contribute your skillsand expertise, but you don't
necessarily have to solveeverything.
But it's easy for us to fallinto that default mode right of,
I'm a fixer.
(10:59):
We can't fix it and solveeverything.
Sometimes other people are in aposition to do that as well.
Follow up on things, but don'tchase.
Some of our reluctant parentscome to mind.
Now, I'm not saying call themonce and then give up.
That's not what I'm saying atall.
And we know that buildingrelationships with distant
parents are really important.
But at some point we have tostop chasing right.
(11:23):
We don't wanna be like therejected boyfriend that just
can't take no for an answer.
We wanna be able to know whento stop, and I think we're okay
with that.
But sometimes we over-pursuesituations or we over-pursue
trying to get the reactions thatwe want to get from other
people.
We over-invest in certainthings, so we've got to be real
(11:44):
careful about that.
And then supporting but notimplementing by ourselves Is
this really our load to carry?
This week's topic in thepodcast behavior plans comes to
mind.
We cannot solely be responsiblefor those behavior plans.
Ideally, we would be on a teamthat's helping implement right,
(12:07):
and so we want to make sure thatwe put ourselves in a position
to support as often as we canwithout implementing.
So why am I talking about this?
Because, especially this timeof year, when things get rolling
and we're running 100 miles anhour, a lot of us have a default
mode of just going.
Let me just take care of it.
Let me just take care of it.
Let me just take care of itBecause it's easier than having
(12:30):
to find people or get people tobuy in or to delegate or to come
back around and check up.
Sometimes it just feels easierto do it yourself.
But you may be also degradingyour professional stamina if you
choose that route.
So set a limit, even if youcan't say no, and that's not
necessarily an outward limit,that might just be a limit for
(12:51):
you.
Yes, I will help with thissituation, but I'm only going
this far.
I'm not offering anything else.
Does that make sense?
Let's look at this before we goon.
Where might you be overreaching?
What are some situations whereyou might be overreaching that
you don't necessarily need to?
Could be behavior, could bestudent academics, could be
(13:15):
parents, attendance, committeework.
Where are you overreaching sothat you can kind of tamp back
from that a little bit?
You can kind of let go,everybody with me, all right.
Number three make micro momentsof joy, not of rest.
(13:40):
Usually, when people aretalking about not burning out or
professional self-care andthings like that, and they say,
you know, take just a fewminutes, take some deep breaths,
be mindful, and all that isgreat, but if you really want to
maintain professional stamina,you need to be chasing moments
of joy instead, because youdon't need a nap, you need a
(14:02):
spark of joy.
That's what's going to get allthose hormones pumping.
That's what's going to help youfeel better about your work and
more optimistic about whyyou're there and what you're
doing.
So you need to be chasingintentional moments of joy, of
awe, of connection.
What is it that powers youthrough your day?
(14:24):
What are those little microglimpses of things that you can
catch, that can carry youforward?
And don't just notice them andlet them move by.
Really sit in them, reallysavor those moments.
True story I was in a classroomthis morning with a kid that is
just really giving his teacher arun for her money, and so I
(14:46):
walked in and I was implementingthe behavior plan that had been
written by one of our behaviorspecialists and so far had not
been touched.
And so I was in there modelingfor the teacher how to implement
this behavior plan.
And this little dude is doingeverything he can do to try to
be a turkey.
And finally he caught on towhat I was doing.
Every time I saw him dosomething that was positive in
(15:07):
the classroom, he got a tallymark.
It was that simple and I wasreally hyping him up.
Hey, every tally mark.
It was that simple and I wasreally hyping him up.
Hey, every tally mark you get,you're going to get to spend a
minute with me at the end of theday.
Hey, how many tally marks canwe get before you leave for
music?
I'm just really hyping it up.
And about I don't know 10minutes into it, the class was
getting up.
They were transitioning toanother activity.
He got up, walked over to me,looked me right in the eye and
(15:36):
he said Ms Johnson, I never knewbeing good could be so much fun
.
And that was my moment todayand I was like, oh, I'm going to
hold on to that because he'sfinally getting something.
He may not remember it tomorrow, but today he felt that and
that was my goal and I may carrythat for a couple of weeks,
because I was super excited tohear it out of that one kiddo.
See what kind of intentionalmoments of connection or joy or
(15:57):
awe you can find in your day,there's going to be something
right, even if it's just.
You know, the kid that neversmiles smiles at you.
It could be something reallysimple.
But collect those moments ofjoy, especially when you're
feeling tired and defeated.
Especially when you're feelingtired and defeated, what brings
you the most joy in your workand what can you chase?
(16:17):
What are the things in your daythat you can intentionally look
for?
It's like, you know, whenpeople tell you, don't look for
red cars, you see themeverywhere, right?
What are the things you'regoing to be looking for that
you're going to bring to theforefront of your mind?
All right.
So we have kind of slow startedour morning.
(16:37):
We've gotten it off on theright foot, we have kind of
decided where we're going todraw the line for ourselves as
far as how involved we're goingto get in situations, and we're
chasing those intentionalmoments of joy.
The next thing we're going to doand this is kind of a hard one
for me to talk about ismeasuring the right things, and
the reason that I say that isespecially in our school
(17:00):
counseling world, where we areexpected to be so data-driven,
down to recording how we'respending our time minute by
minute.
It is so easy to fall into themindset of that is what matters.
It is so easy to fall into themindset of that is what matters,
right, and we're constantlycriticizing ourselves, measuring
(17:21):
ourselves, sometimes critiquingourselves by the way our time
is running throughout our day,and we get caught up in a
feeling of responsibility forthe things that we're being
asked to do.
Now we talk a lot about that indata discussions, but really
the point I want to drive homehere is we can't just measure
ourselves by our use of time andour moment-to-moment
(17:42):
obligations, because thatdoesn't give the full picture of
what we do or why we're there.
The institutional metrics arejust supporting pieces of data,
but really what we want to belooking at are the personal
outcomes, the relationaloutcomes, the reason that we all
got into school counseling inthe first place.
(18:03):
When we used to hold our get thejob cohorts and we would ask
people what brought you intoschool counseling or what's the
number one thing that you mostwant to achieve as a school
counselor, nine times out of 10,people would say building
relationships right, buildingrelationships with kids,
building relationships withcommunity all those things.
Our work is about therelationship.
(18:24):
It's what draws us in.
We're relationship people, sowe can't forsake that part of us
.
For the institutional metrics.
It's great to know how muchnon-counseling time you have,
it's great to know how muchdirect contact with students you
have.
All those are helpful anduseful, but they don't define
you, and so we've got to besuper careful that we don't fall
(18:48):
into that trap of definingourselves just by our numbers.
So what values are mostimportant to you in your work?
What do you really want tostand for as a school counselor?
I'm going to finish up with ourmini masterclass here, the last
one.
I really want to emphasize thisLet people be wrong about you.
(19:11):
Just let them and I'm nottrying to steal the title of
that new book, but let them bewrong about you.
We, as school counselors, carryso much on our shoulders as far
as our reputations, people'sperceptions of the work we do,
and now, with many of us havingmandates where we have to log
(19:31):
our time minute by minute, wefeel that pressure too.
We feel the pressure of are wedoing enough?
Are we doing enough in theright categories?
Or, you know, looking at thatinstitutional data rather than
our own values, data in our work, and it gets overwhelming.
I'll be real honest with you Onmy campus there is one
particular teacher that sparesno opportunity to try to, you
(19:57):
know, hoist something else ontome.
She doesn't think I work veryhard.
She thinks my job is very easy.
She thinks that I must have alot of downtime because she
doesn't see what I do all dayright.
And we all have people likethat on our campuses that don't
understand our work, that don'tknow what we do, and I used to
be one of those people.
Before I became a schoolcounselor, I didn't have any
(20:20):
idea what I was going to bedoing.
I thought I was going to betalking to kids about their
feelings and that was going tobe pretty much it.
I didn't know when I decided itwas time to leave the classroom
.
That was some of the criteria Iused to select counseling
instead of something else.
It looked pretty easy.
I figured I'd be able to go tothe bathroom whenever I needed
(20:40):
to and that was good enough forme.
I'd be real, real with you.
So if I thought that, I know wehave other people on our
campuses that feel that way.
So we have to let people bewrong about us and we have to be
okay with that.
We have to get to the pointthat it just doesn't bother us
anymore.
(21:00):
Let them do what they're gonnado.
It doesn't change me, itdoesn't change the impact of my
work or how I feel about it.
That sounds simple, but that isreally hard to do, right?
And some of you may be in thatsituation now where you just
feel like you're just constantlybeing judged, you're being
watched, people are wonderingwhat you're doing.
So right now, think of twopeople and I don't want you to
(21:23):
say their names out loud butthink of two people whose
opinions you're not gonna letmatter anymore.
Who are the naysayers, thecriticizers, the ones that give
you the look?
Who are those people?
Imagine their name, get it inyour head, see their face and in
(21:43):
your mind's eye, tell them youropinion of me doesn't matter
anymore.
That seems simple, but I'mtelling you it is so profound
Once you can get there and letgo of the weight of their
expectations on your shoulders.
Really really hard to do, butso worth it and so beneficial to
(22:08):
your stamina on campus.
Your stamina is not aboutpushing through.
It's about protecting yourfocus, your fire and your reason
for doing what you do, forshowing up every day and serving
students and families,community members, sometimes
staff members.
(22:28):
Your professional stamina iswhat allows you to get all the
way to the finish line at theend of the school year, and it's
not easy.
I used to run marathons a lot.
I was on a running team and wewould run together.
If you've ever run a race likethat, you know that there's a
point about between mile 20 and22,.
A marathon is 26 miles whereyou hit the wall, where you feel
(22:52):
like you just can't go anotherstep, where you feel like why
did I sign up for this?
I was crazy.
There's no way I can do this.
I'm not going to make it.
It is wild the ideas that youhave in your mind as you're
running and I don't want you tohit the wall.
I ran a race one time in Dallas,texas.
(23:14):
It was at the American AirlineCenter, if you're familiar with
Dallas a huge, huge venue, and Iwas running on one of the
charity teams.
We had raised money for cancerresearch.
We were waiting under thestands to go out and run the
race.
It was super cold.
We were all kind of huddledtogether and an older gentleman
walked up and he said hey, Ijust want to thank you for what
you're doing.
And we all were just kind oflike oh yeah, you know no
(23:35):
problem, yeah, we, we love to doit.
And he goes no, you don'tunderstand.
He said the money that youraise through your organization
is the money that funded themedicine that's keeping me alive
.
And we were like, oh my good,like, oh my like.
You're never prepared forsomebody to tell you something
(23:56):
like that.
And he had tears in his eyes.
His wife was there.
They were both crying.
Just thank you so much for whatyou do.
You have no idea the impact.
Race right and we start running.
That was the race that I hitthe wall the hardest, mile 21.
And I'll never forget.
(24:20):
I looked at my marathon partner,who's still, to this day, my
best girlfriend, and I looked ather and I said I can't do this
anymore.
I can't, I cannot finish thisrace.
And she's like no, no, come on,steph, you got to do it, you
can.
I'm like no, you don'tunderstand, I can't do it.
And I took two or three stepsover towards the curb, over to
the side of the race, and I wasready to drop out and about step
two or three, I hear somebodyshouting from the sidelines
(24:42):
y'all, this is a true story.
He was yelling for me, go, go.
And he was calling me my racingnickname was Fast Dog.
Long story, we wore it on ourjerseys Go, fast Dog, you can do
this, don't give up.
Now how he knew that I washeading that direction to drop
out, I will never know, but itwas that same man.
Come on, you can do this, keepgoing, keep going.
(25:04):
And I felt this surge of energyand of hope and optimism.
And my body still hurts so bad.
Hope and optimism, and my bodystill hurts so bad.
But I was determined to keepgoing and I finished that race.
And so I want you to focus onthings like that.
What's going to bring youacross the finish line, what's
(25:24):
going to restore your faith andhope and optimism?
And I hope some of these ideashave maybe helped you aim in
that direction.
And, if not, let us be yourcheerleaders and let us give you
across the finish line, becauseit's way more fun to finish the
school year feeling invigoratedand energized than completely
beat down right.
(25:46):
You don't have to be a machineto get through this.
You just have to keep yourheart intact, and that's the
stuff we never talk about in theschool counseling world.
We talk about self-care andboundaries and appropriate
responsibilities, but we nevertalk about keeping our hearts
intact and what it is we need tofuel our soul as we move
(26:09):
through our work.
So this isn't about survivingthe school year as we move
through our work.
So this isn't about survivingthe school year.
It's about protecting theversion of you that still cares,
because once you get to thepoint that you're indifferent
and you don't care, that's whenyou know you're in burnout.
Make sense, all right.
(26:31):
So which are you going to startfirst Out of the five that we
talked about?
All the strategies, all thetactics what is the one thing
that you're gonna start first?
Make an intentional commitmentto doing that.
I would love to know what youchoose.
(26:52):
I would love to know if anybodyhas some ideas about what do
you want to start with first?
All right, I'm going to letthis go here.
I'd really honestly didn't meanfor this to go this long.
It almost ended up like a fullmaster class tonight.
So thanks for hanging in therewith me on this, but it was just
, it was really on my heart andI felt like we just needed a
(27:12):
boost and we needed someencouragement for the rest of
the spring semester to bring usacross the finish line.
So I appreciate youparticipating in this with me
today.
All right, I hope you enjoyedthat peek into some of the
things that are going on in ourSchool for School Counselors,
mastermind, and I hope it helpedyou reconsider how you're
(27:35):
working on campus these daysSome small shifts and
intentionalities that you canbring into your day to really
help you maintain your staminato get across the finish line
and declare victory at the endof the school year.
Hey, as I mentioned before,there was tons of conversation
and insights and ideas that cameabout as part of this
(27:58):
masterclass.
Those were edited out because Ididn't want to disclose other
mastermind members' information.
I wanted to keep it on the upand up here in this episode.
But if you can imagine thedepth of information that we're
turning out in the mastermindand then also the richness of
the discussion and the ideas andthe insights, I hope you are
(28:21):
realizing that this is the placefor you, even though the school
year is almost over for most ofus.
We are gearing up for somepretty amazing things going on
in our mastermind this summer.
We're going to continue withour monthly masterclasses.
We are going to continue withour weekly chats.
(28:41):
Those are going to be turninginto a no-stress book study
during the summer so that we candevelop our skills and become
more competent and confident inour craft.
We use the summer for doingthat so that when the fall comes
around we're ready to rock androll.
We are also right now heavyduty in the middle of planning
(29:02):
season for closing out thisschool year and starting the
next school year with a minimumof stress, with a minimum of
overwhelm, so that we can justwalk in and know exactly which
direction to start going.
So if that sounds wonderful toyou and I hope that it does you
can get more information aboutthe School for School Counselors
(29:22):
Mastermind atschoolforschoolcounselorscom.
Slash mastermind.
All right, well, that's it forthis episode.
My friend, if you're ready fortools that actually work and
support from someone who iswalking the same hallways that
you are day in and day out, makesure you follow the podcast and
stick with me, because herewe're not gonna be giving you
(29:44):
trends or fluff.
We're only gonna be giving youreal talk for real school
counselors, because we'restronger and smarter together.
I'll be back again soon withanother episode and in the
meantime, I hope you have thebest week.
Take care.
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