January 28, 2025 • 33 mins
In this milestone 100th episode of The School of Midlife podcast, Laurie Reynoldson reflects on the journey so far and celebrates the incredible community that’s grown around this space. Laurie shares her excitement for how the podcast has evolved and highlights the challenges we face in making lasting changes in our lives.
As January rolls in, many of us are setting New Year’s resolutions focused on lifestyle changes—getting fit, eating better, reclaiming work-life balance—but as Laurie points out, most of these resolutions tend to fall apart as the year progresses. But what if the biggest barrier to lasting change isn’t about how hard we work or how committed we are to our goals, but rather the stories we tell ourselves?
In today’s episode, Laurie dives deep into the power of mindset and how the limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves can be the real roadblocks to the success we desire. She talks about how we can all be our biggest cheerleaders—if we can first change the narrative we’ve been telling ourselves. Whether it’s feeling too old, too slow, or not good enough, these self-limiting thoughts keep us stuck and prevent us from achieving our full potential.
Laurie encourages us to look at our limiting beliefs head-on and start rewiring our subconscious minds to believe that we are worthy of the change we seek. If we keep arguing for our limitations, we get to keep them—but if we decide to release these outdated beliefs, we open the door to a new, empowered version of ourselves.
It’s time to take out the trash, clean up your mindset, and start creating the life you truly want. Tune in to learn how to break free from self-doubt, step into your power, and make this year the one where change sticks!
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- Why mindset is the key to making lasting lifestyle changes.
- How the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself may be sabotaging your progress.
- Practical tips for identifying and reframing negative thoughts.
- Why self-deprecating humor and negative self-talk are more harmful than we realize.
- How to stop arguing for your limitations and start living the life you deserve.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If you're feeling like 20, 25 isgoing to be your most
transformational year yet you'renot alone.
And you're definitely going towant to listen to this episode
of the School of Midlifepodcast.
Let's get started.
Welcome to the School of Midlifepodcast.
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
This is the podcast for themidlife woman who starting to
(00:21):
ask herself big life questions.
Like, what do I want?
Is it too late for me?
And what's my legacy beyond myfamily and my work.
Each week we're answering thesequestions and more.
At the School of Midlife, we'relearning all of the life lessons
they didn't teach us in schooland we're figuring out finally
(00:41):
what it is we want to be when wegrow up.
Let's make midlife your bestlife.
Well, Hey friends.
Welcome back to another episodeof the School of Midlife
podcast.
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
And I am thrilled to have youhere today.
To celebrate our 100th episode.
(01:03):
I cannot believe that there havebeen 100 episodes of the School
of Midlife.
When I launched the podcast in Ibelieve it was March of 2023.
I thought it would be a greatway to just be able to have some
really Frank discussions.
And it, it felt.
(01:24):
Like, obviously I can say moreon the podcast and I can in a
social media post.
I don't know what myexpectations were when I started
the podcast, but this hasexceeded all of them.
I am.
I'm just so thrilled with.
How far we've come, how thepodcast has matured over time.
How I've.
Literally.
(01:44):
And figuratively found my voice.
Where to be honest, I feel likethere are some things that when
the podcast first started, I wasa little nervous to talk about
because it felt like, oh, youshouldn't talk about those
things.
You know, that there are somethings that, that are taboo that
are, that are better leftunsaid.
And the beautiful thing abouthaving a podcast versus say, a
(02:06):
social media following is.
I can say whatever the hell Iwant.
I don't just.
Put things on the podcastbecause I have no idea of what
to talk about.
Almost every episode is groundedin some conversation.
Some email I received.
Talking about.
(02:27):
What it feels like to be amidlife woman navigating life
right now.
I love the podcast and I amthrilled to receive comments and
emails and your reviews.
All of it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for recommending thepodcast to your friends.
(02:48):
Thank you for sticking with me.
Um, yeah, so 100 episodes and somuch of that is a Testament to.
You the audience who show up tolisten to what I have to say.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
In today's episode because it'sdropping at the end of January.
I want to talk about changes inyour life because it, it feels
(03:11):
like it's January.
So many of us are making.
Plenty of lifestyle changes,right?
We start the year strong withthis idea that.
We're going to get back to thegym and we're going to finally
get our eating and check, youknow, all of those typical.
New year's resolutions slashlife goals slash big dreams,
whatever you want to call it.
(03:33):
However you refer to it.
But for the most part inJanuary.
We really are focused onlifestyle changes.
What am I eating?
How am I moving my body?
Am I getting enough sleep?
What am I doing at work that hascreeping into my personal life.
And because it's the beginningof the year, we've got all this
(03:55):
momentum and we think, you knowwhat?
This is going to be my year.
I'm going to start doing all thethings that I said I was going
to do for the last severalyears.
And this is it.
It's going to be my year.
So we start making big changesin our life.
Changes that other people cansee.
Right.
They notice that we're going tothe gym more often.
(04:15):
We're we're actually evenshowing up to the gym.
We are maybe.
Taking our lunch, we're packingour lunch so that we know that
we're going to get enoughprotein in.
Setting some time boundarieswith how late we're staying at
the office, because we want toreclaim some of that work creep
time that we gave back at theend of the year.
(04:37):
You know, cause we, we want tohave a clearer separation
between work and life.
And you know, we've obviouslytalked about work-life balance
here on the podcast before andhow it's not really a thing.
But there are ways that we canseparate the two and feel better
about them than not.
So we start the year.
Trying to create massive changein our life.
(05:01):
And.
I don't know about you, but itseems like a lot of the things I
try and do at the beginning ofthe year.
Are either the exact same that Itried to do at the beginning of
last year, or maybe a couple ofyears ago, because it feels like
I can be really good.
At moving my body in anintentional way.
(05:22):
Eating.
Correctly or.
Not that there's any right orwrong way to eat.
There.
There are really no good or badfoods, but nourishing my body in
a way that makes sense versusmaybe eating way too much sugar
or consuming.
One or two glasses of.
Wine that are going to make mesleep like shit and feel like
(05:44):
crap for a couple of days.
But there are, there are thingsthat I focus on at the beginning
of the year, because it's aclean slate.
It's a perfect time to startdoing the things.
And.
Like I said, if I'm honest, Mostof the goals or dreams or
resolutions or whatever you wantto call them.
Many of them are the same onesthat I had.
(06:05):
A couple of years ago, becauseI'm really good for awhile.
And then there's this littleblack slide and it starts with,
you know, what.
One glass of wine with dinner,isn't going to hurt me or.
I'd really like to sleep in thismorning.
So not going to go to the gymtoday.
And that one day becomes maybetwo or three times this week.
(06:26):
And before, you know, it.
It's been months since you'vebeen to the gym and then you can
kind of chalk that up to, well,the weather has been really
nice.
It's been summer.
And I haven't needed to go tothe gym.
I'll get back to it in the fall.
And then that gets pushed to thebeginning of the year.
And then here we are with thesame kind of.
Goals or dreams or resolutionsthat we've had in previous
(06:49):
years, because.
We're really focused.
We're really determined.
We're really committed.
For a while.
And then that little backslidestarts.
And then before you know, it,that backslide.
Is, it becomes our new normal,it becomes exactly where we
didn't want to end up to beginwith.
And we're, we're kind of back inthe same spot.
(07:12):
Most of those changes.
Again, our lifestyle changes.
They are physical changes.
They are changes that peoplefrom the outside can see us
making.
And certainly we could talk allabout.
Lifestyle changes and why theydon't stick at the beginning of
the year.
If we don't have the proper.
Guardrails in place if we'reonly doing them because we feel
(07:34):
like we should, and we don'thave an underlying.
Want or desire to make.
The change needed to stick withwhatever goal it is that we're
trying to achieve.
But I will tell you that.
The biggest.
The greatest impact.
If you want to make this yeardifferent then prior years, if
(07:57):
you want to make lasting changegoing forward.
The greatest impact.
We'll be your mindset change.
What I mean by that.
The greatest thing you can dofor long term.
Change in your life.
Is to change your mindset.
It's to take out the trash.
What I mean by that is.
(08:17):
The person that we.
Here from more than anyone elsein our lives.
Is us.
When people talk about.
The devil, you know, versus thedevil, you don't know.
I understand that there areplenty of ways to interpret
that.
For me, it always brings me backto the devil that lives between
(08:39):
my two ears.
The one that tells me that I'mtoo fat.
Or I'm too old.
Or I'm too slow.
Or I'm never going to get thehang of this, or I never stick
with anything.
Can any of you relate to thatdevil?
Do you have a similar one thatlives in your mind as well?
(09:00):
Because here's the honest truthand no one is talking about
this.
Unless you're intentional about.
Changing your mindset.
So that it is your biggestcheerleader instead of your
biggest detractor.
The devil that points out whatyou're doing wrong, why.
You don't have the fulfillmentthat you have always wanted.
(09:22):
Why can't you just be happy witheverything that you have,
whatever that devil is saying.
Your life is not going to changein the way you want it to, until
you fix your mindset.
Because.
All of the words that you aresaying to yourself, whether or
not you say them out loud.
So when I say saying, I mean,even just thinking them.
(09:46):
The words we use when we talk toourself are so important.
They are so powerful.
A guy that I went to elementary,junior high and part of high
school grew up to be a.
Mental.
Performance coach forprofessional athletes.
And.
What Trevor used to say.
(10:07):
Rest in peace.
What Trevor used to say was.
Thinking.
Bad thoughts about yourself.
Is a recipe.
For disaster.
Actually saying them out loud.
So that you can hear yourselfsaying them.
Exponentially worse.
So it's bad enough that you'rethinking them.
When you say them out loud, whenyou give them as an excuse, when
(10:29):
you respond to someone'squestion.
Even if you're just musing aboutit yourself.
It's exponentially worse for youto say it out loud, because then
not only are you thinking it.
On either some subconsciouslevel or maybe even, maybe even
more.
In your face prevalent than juston a subconscious.
(10:51):
When you bring those words tolife and you actually hear
yourself saying them, You'redoing yourself a disservice.
And disservice is.
Putting it very mildly.
You should stop that.
Because you can make all of thephysical changes you want in
your life.
If you don't believe you wereworth it.
(11:12):
If your mindset is not right.
It won't matter.
It will not stick because onsome subconscious level you are
thinking I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve this.
I'm too old.
I'm too fat.
I never stick with anything,whatever you say to yourself.
When you.
Aren't sure if things are goingto work out the way that you
(11:35):
want them to.
Whenever you are explaining away a situation.
Whenever you are thinking, gosh,I would really like to try this,
but here are my list of excuses.
Why?
I can't, I'd like to startlearning how to play pickleball,
maybe.
Oh, but my back.
I can't do anything with it.
(11:56):
I'd really love to run amarathon because to me, there's
something about dedicatingmyself.
Two.
Uh, plan.
And knowing exactly what I'mgonna be doing for the next 16
or 20 weeks.
And then actually going andrunning the thing.
I love the idea that, oh, but myknee I've got bad knees.
I can't do that.
(12:16):
Oh, but I'm so old.
I can't do that.
Oh, but I was picked last forthe sports teams.
So I'm just, I'm not athletic.
Whatever excuses that you aregiving yourself to.
Maybe you think you're lettingyourself off the hook?
Fine.
But I'm telling you.
That is the one thing.
(12:37):
That until you get it fixed.
That is going to have thegreatest impact on whether you
actually are able to achievethose lifestyle changes.
That you want, or at least thatyou say that you want.
Because.
When it w when we really getdown to the nitty-gritty.
The things that you say toyourself matter.
(12:58):
And what's so interesting to meis.
For the most part.
The shit we say to ourselvesagain, whether it's out loud or
we just think it, we would neversay to anybody else in our life,
would we.
I mean, would you ever say toyour friend you're too old?
You're too fat.
You never stick with anythingyou're you're way too slow.
(13:20):
You don't deserve that.
Raise at work.
You're not worthy of love likethat in your life.
No.
In fact, fuck no, no, you wouldnot do that to your best friend.
Almost.
Invariably.
When your friend has an issue.
And maybe it does relate to someof these.
(13:40):
Limiting beliefs that she mighthave about herself.
You are quick to reframe them.
You are quick to say you're nottoo old.
Let's look at the six or eightthings you did last year.
You were a beginner of thosethings.
You weren't too old to trysomething new, then.
What are you talking about?
You don't stick with anything.
(14:01):
Uh, no, that's, that'sridiculous.
You are so dependable.
Anytime anyone has ever neededyou, you have been the first
call that they make.
You're the first person thatshows up.
You're the first person.
To volunteer to do something.
We go to bat for our friends.
We go to bat for other people inour lives who are doubting
(14:23):
themselves.
Who might think that they're notworth an accolade or an
achievement or recognition?
We tell them that's bullshit.
The reason that they're gettingthe achievement or the
recognition.
Is because they deserve it.
When I give somebody acompliment.
And they try and talk me out ofthe compliment.
The first thing I say back tothem is actually.
(14:46):
All you need to say is thankyou.
And as women we're terrible atthat.
Aren't we?
Because, oh, I really like yoursweater.
Oh, this old thing.
Oh, I've had it forever.
I was running late today.
I just threw it on because itwas the first thing I grabbed.
Right.
We do that.
We it's like, we're trying to.
Move the spotlight away from us.
(15:07):
We're trying to.
Explain why we're really not.
Worthy of the compliment that wejust received.
And when we do that, we'retelling the person who gave us a
compliment.
You're wrong.
You have no idea what you'retalking about, but.
What the hell.
I mean, what.
Why would we do that?
Somebody is saying somethingnice to us.
(15:30):
Oh, that's the other thing wedo.
Oh, she doesn't really mean it.
She's just being nice.
Does that sound familiar?
Of course it does.
We do that all the time.
Listen to me when I say this.
People don't go around givingyou compliments.
Just to give you compliments.
Most people are so involved.
So self-involved that they'renot worried about you.
(15:51):
Like when we, as women, when weare concerned about being seen
as a beginner, we're startingsomething new and we don't want
other people to see a screw upor fail.
For the most part nobody'slooking at you.
They're so worried aboutthemselves.
So when somebody actually goesout of their way to say
something nice to you.
They mean it.
Otherwise, they wouldn't say itlike they've got enough going on
(16:14):
in their own life that theywould just keep it to
themselves.
So when you get a compliment,all you really need to say is
thank you.
And I remind my friends aboutthat.
All the time.
Anytime I see them happening,anytime I say something nice to
them.
And they try and talk me out ofit.
I always turn it back on themand say, The best way to respond
(16:36):
to a compliment is just a smileand say, thank you.
You don't have to talk me out ofit.
You don't have to tell me thatI'm wrong.
All you have to do is say, thankyou.
And I'll tell you what.
They get it.
As soon as I say it, they getit.
But the really interestingthing.
When somebody gives me acompliment.
My first response is not to justsmile and say, thank you.
(16:56):
My first inclination.
Is to go through all of thereasons why.
That compliment probably isn'tmeant for me.
So I know how I'm supposed toreact.
And yet.
I still mess this up all thetime.
Because on some level.
I still feel like I'm trying toprove myself.
(17:17):
On some level in certainsituation, I just don't feel
like I belong yet.
Like it, you know, it's this,it's this.
Crazy.
Call it imposter syndrome, callit a lack of feeling worthy, a
lack of feeling enough, youknow, however you want to
describe it.
But.
Even.
As a coach for midlife women.
(17:38):
Uh, coach who I I've got my shittogether.
I know what I'm doing.
The transformations I can getfrom my clients are.
Incredible.
And yet I still struggle withthis.
Because I'm human.
Right.
I'm I'm a woman I've beenconditioned to.
To make sure that the spotlightis not on me.
I'm not one of those people who,who seeks out attention.
(18:01):
I'd rather the attention besomewhere else.
But what I've learned.
Is.
I can't talk to myself.
Any differently than I should betalking to.
The people in my life who areimportant to me.
Because I spend more time withmyself listening to my thoughts.
Listening to what comes out ofmy mouth.
(18:22):
Than any one else in my life.
Every single day, the person Ispend the most time with is my
self.
And there are periods of doubtthat I have.
There are periods when I amfeeling.
And competent.
That I don't belong.
That I'm not enough.
And when I find myself.
In that backslide of negativethoughts.
(18:45):
I actually, press on the knuckleof my index finger.
I have actually created thisanchor that when I am in that
sort of spiral, when I havethose thoughts, I have to do
something to interrupt thepattern.
There are many things that youcould do You just have to find
(19:05):
what works for you and do that.
I'm very quick to notice thosenegative thoughts.
Now I was, I wasn't always thatway.
This is something that I haveI've really had to work on.
But when I notice it.
I press the knuckle on my indexfinger.
And then I'm done.
Like I'm thinking aboutsomething else.
I see what's going on.
(19:26):
And then I immediately.
Change.
The thinking.
And I know that this is probablygoing to sound a little woo, woo
to you because we don't, youknow, a lot of times we're
talking about frameworks andsystems and process and.
How you can make massive changein your life by doing X, Y, and
Z.
And yes, all of those areimportant.
(19:46):
Everything that I coach at theSchool of Midlife.
Not only is it proven with thewomen who have gone through the
coaching, but I've done itmyself.
I would never ask.
Anybody that I'm coaching to doanything differently than I
have.
Gone through experienced andproven myself.
No one is talking about theidea.
(20:08):
That in order to.
Move forward in your life, inthe way that you want to in
order to make those lifestylechanges.
You've got to move out of the3-d.
You've got to start thinkingabout things differently.
Because here is the God's honesttruth.
If you could make.
(20:28):
The lifestyle changes stickforever.
By just working harder.
By just adding more to yourto-do list.
By just achieving the next thingthat you're working towards.
If you could do that, if youcould make your life.
The happiest, most fulfilled,most satisfying life by working
harder.
(20:49):
You would already have.
The exact life that you havealways wanted.
Let me say that again in fewerwords, because that was, that
was a mouthful.
But if all you needed to do tocreate massive change in your
life was to work harder.
You would already be living thelife that you want.
That might sting a little.
(21:10):
Because we are roll our sleevesup kind of women.
We are high-performing women.
We are high achieving women.
When we say we're going to dosomething goddammit, we're going
to get it done.
But the fact that you havethings you want to do in your
life, that you have some dreamsthat you haven't been able to
fulfill, that you have goals.
That are different than thereality that you were living
(21:32):
every day.
Like there's something in thefuture that you want, the you
don't have right now.
The fact that that is true.
Means that you.
At least partially wantsomething different than you
have right now.
That's what goals are rightthere.
They're the vehicle to get youfrom where you are now to where
you want to be.
That's what dreams are.
(21:54):
They, whether you want to callthem a dream or a goal.
An aspiration.
However you want to describe it.
It's just the difference betweenwhere you are now and where you
want to be in the future.
It's something different thanyou have right now.
And because so many of us have.
Poured our heart and soul intoworking hard.
(22:15):
We're no strangers to hard work.
We, we think that.
If we don't have what we wantright now, all we have to do is
work a little bit harder.
And I'm telling you if that wasthe case.
If the only thing that youactually needed to go from point
a to point B was to work alittle harder.
You would already haveeverything you ever desired.
(22:38):
The fact that there's still thatgap between where you are and
where you want to go.
Means something else has tochange.
And I'm telling you that onething.
Is your mindset.
And I feel like a lot of peopleare poo-pooing mindset, you
know?
Oh, yeah.
I just have to have gratitudeand I have to think positive
(23:00):
thoughts and yeah, that's,that's part of it.
But.
It's even more than that.
It's actually believing thethings that you are telling
yourself.
And if.
You're not ready to do thatquite yet.
You know, if you're still tryingto argue for all of the
limitations that you have inyour life for why you can't live
(23:20):
the life that you want.
Fine.
Aye.
If you're going to argue foryour limitations, you get to
keep them.
I'm not going to stand in yourway.
But.
If this is the year.
That you are finally going tostep into the person that you
have always wanted to be, tolive the life that you have
always wanted to live.
I am telling you.
(23:41):
It's time to take out the trash.
It's time to stop thinking theshitty thoughts about yourself.
And I know for some of us.
That's how we're funny.
Right?
We use self-deprecating humor toshow up as funny.
That being the funny one,telling the jokes at our own
expense, that is a way for us todeflect attention away from us.
(24:03):
It's a, it's a way for us to.
Shine the spotlight somewhereelse.
I get it.
I've done it for decades.
But here's the truth.
Your brain.
Your subconscious brain does notknow the difference between you
saying shitty things aboutyourself to get a laugh.
And you saying shitty thingsbecause your brain thinks you
mean it.
It's all processed in exactlythe same way to your brain.
(24:27):
So if you're somebody who usesself-deprecating humor to cut
the tension in a room to takethe spotlight off for yourself.
Stop it.
It's not doing anybody any good.
And beyond that.
Beyond not doing other people.
Good.
It's actually really harmful toyourself.
I know that this episode hassounded a little preachy.
(24:50):
That that was not my intention.
But.
For whatever reason, I foundmyself in a number of rooms with
high performing midlife women inthe last week.
And there is this excitementabout the new year.
There is this momentum, there'sthis feeling almost across the
(25:10):
board.
That 20, 25 is going to be atransformational year.
And I feel that myself, I reallyfeel like for me and the School
of Midlife, there's been a lotof building to 20 25, 20 25.
Is going to knock my socks off.
I know it.
I I'm, I'm ready.
I'm stepping into that change.
(25:31):
I'm stepping into the person whoI need to be to have to embrace
that transformational year.
I'm ready for it.
I'm here for.
When I've been talking to thosewomen over the past week.
Invariably.
They're limiting beliefs come upin ways that they don't even
recognize they're excuses forwhy they can't do something
(25:52):
they're excuses for why theycan't start something new, their
excuses about.
Why they can't reach their fullpotential.
And I get it.
They're not trying to do it.
To be negative or.
Difficult.
They're doing it because theirsubconscious is trying to
protect them.
The subconscious brain does notwant them to get led down.
(26:15):
Doesn't want them to beembarrassed.
Doesn't want them to face anyfear.
It wants to protect them, wantsto keep them safe.
But.
The life, your looking for thatmidlife and beyond best life.
That one, that when you closeyour eyes and you think about,
and you dream about.
You.
Can't.
Have that life.
(26:37):
If you stay in your comfortzone.
Because part of having that lifeand living that life.
Is the person that you need tobecome to make that life your
reality.
And that person.
Doesn't go around thinking I'mtoo fat.
I'm too old.
I never stick with anything.
I'm too slow.
I'm too much.
I'm not worth this.
(26:57):
She doesn't think those things,if she does, she notices it and
she immediately does a patterninterrupt and starts proving
those limiting beliefs wrong.
So when I say it's time to takeout the trash.
What I mean is this is the yearthat we need to be aware of our
limiting beliefs.
(27:18):
And.
Get rid of them.
The reasons that we are tellingourself.
Why we're not good enough.
Why we don't deserve something.
Why.
What we want is never going tohappen for us.
Those reasons, those beliefs,those limitations we're done
with them.
We're taking them out.
Because just like we start theyear making resolutions or goals
(27:41):
four changes in our lifestyle,the changes that everyone else
can see around us.
We have to do things differentlyin our life to.
Have the lifestyle changes thatwe keep saying we want.
And just like that.
In order to make those changes,we have to start.
With our mindset.
That's the number one thing,otherwise.
(28:03):
We'll stick with that new gymschedule for awhile.
Until we think, you know what?
I'm not seeing any results.
Why am I spending my time onthis?
I'm too old.
My body has changed so much.
I'm not going to be able to makechanges that I want.
I'm never going to be able tofit in that swimsuit.
Again, my hormones are allscrewed up.
I'm in midlife.
I, I will always have thatbelly.
(28:26):
If we keep telling ourselvesthat, then that is the reality
that we're going to create.
Which means we will never makethose lifestyle changes that we,
that we're saying are soimportant to us.
So it's time to take out thetrash it's time to stop
believing everything you thinkabout yourself.
It's time to start.
Rewriting those limitingbeliefs.
(28:46):
It's time to stop.
Arguing for them.
If you keep telling yourselfthat you can't do something
because of these limitingbeliefs that you're holding onto
again, if you argue you for yourlimiting beliefs?
You get to keep them.
One of my favorite quotes.
And I know I've shared with thison the podcast with you before.
It's from Albert Einstein, whosays the definition of insanity
(29:07):
is doing the same things overand over and over again, and
expecting different results.
If you really want to make thoselifestyle changes, stick.
The key difference this year isgetting rid of the limiting
beliefs, taking out the trash,cleaning up your mindset.
I promise you.
And just like we talked aboutearlier in the episode.
(29:28):
If there was a way to do itwithout changing your mindset.
You know, may maybe you justwant to work a little harder.
If that actually worked.
You'd already be doing itbecause you are no stranger to
hard work.
So my question to you is.
What limiting beliefs are youready to let go of.
What limiting beliefs are nolonger serving you.
(29:48):
And, and if, if you arestruggling with the term
limiting beliefs, Think about itthis way.
What words are you using todescribe yourself that no
longer.
Describe the person you are andthe person you're becoming.
What things are you saying toyourself?
Whether out loud or you're justthinking them, what things are
(30:09):
you saying to yourself?
That no longer reflect theperson that you are, or the
person that you're becoming.
And once you have identifiedthose limiting beliefs.
Then how are you going toreframe those thoughts when you
think that.
What's your plan?
What are you going to do?
Because.
It's one thing to identify them.
(30:30):
But how are you going to changethem?
How are you going to.
Convince your subconscious brainthat those thoughts, those
aren't you anymore.
They might've been a priorversion of you, but that's not
who you are anymore.
What are you going to do?
Have a plan.
Because it's going to come up.
And just like, we've got a planto make those lifestyle changes.
Stick.
(30:51):
We have to have a plan to.
Stop the limiting beliefs,because that's, what's really
holding us back.
When we figure that out, thiscan be the biggest, most
impactful, the mosttransformational year of your
life.
I guarantee it.
We got to start by taking outthe trash.
If anything that we talked aboutresonated with you, I would love
(31:13):
for you to drop me a line andlet me know how you're going to
implement some of these changesin your life.
If you're listening to this.
Screenshot it.
Tag me on Instagram.
Throw it in your stories.
If you've got a friend who wouldlove to hear this, I would love
it if you would share thisepisode with her.
Because as you know, my missionwith the School of Midlife is to
(31:35):
give mid-life women everywhere.
The tools.
The information and the mindsetthat they need to make midlife
and beyond their very best life.
And.
I can't do it without your help.
And frankly, your friends.
Listen to you more than theylisten to anybody else.
Right.
So a great recommendation fromyou would mean the world to me.
(31:55):
Thank you so much for being herefor our 100th episode.
And I will see you right backhere next week when the school
of midlife is back in session.
Until then take good care.
Thank you so much for listeningto the School of Midlife
podcast.
It means so much to have youhere each week.
If you enjoyed this episode,could you do me the biggest
(32:17):
favor and help us spread theword to other midlife women?
There are a couple of easy waysfor you to do that first.
And most importantly, if you'renot already following the show,
would you please subscribe?
That helps you because you'llnever miss an episode.
And it helps us because you'llnever miss an episode.
(32:37):
Second, if you'd be so kind toleave us a five-star rating,
that would be absolutelyincredible.
And finally, I personally readeach and every one of your
reviews.
So if you take a minute and saysome nice things about the
podcast, well, that's just goodkarma.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you right back here.
Next week when the School ofMidlife is back in session until
(32:58):
then take good care.
If you're feeling like 20, 25 isgoing to be your most
transformational year yet you'renot alone.
And you're definitely going towant to listen to this episode
of the School of Midlifepodcast.
Let's get started.
Welcome to the School of Midlifepodcast.
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
This is the podcast for themidlife woman who starting to
(00:21):
ask herself big life questions.
Like, what do I want?
Is it too late for me?
And what's my legacy beyond myfamily and my work.
Each week we're answering thesequestions and more.
At the School of Midlife, we'relearning all of the life lessons
they didn't teach us in schooland we're figuring out finally
(00:41):
what it is we want to be when wegrow up.
Let's make midlife your bestlife.
Well, Hey friends.
Welcome back to another episodeof the School of Midlife
podcast.
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
And I am thrilled to have youhere today.
To celebrate our 100th episode.
(01:03):
I cannot believe that there havebeen 100 episodes of the School
of Midlife.
When I launched the podcast in Ibelieve it was March of 2023.
I thought it would be a greatway to just be able to have some
really Frank discussions.
And it, it felt.
(01:24):
Like, obviously I can say moreon the podcast and I can in a
social media post.
I don't know what myexpectations were when I started
the podcast, but this hasexceeded all of them.
I am.
I'm just so thrilled with.
How far we've come, how thepodcast has matured over time.
How I've.
Literally.
(01:44):
And figuratively found my voice.
Where to be honest, I feel likethere are some things that when
the podcast first started, I wasa little nervous to talk about
because it felt like, oh, youshouldn't talk about those
things.
You know, that there are somethings that, that are taboo that
are, that are better leftunsaid.
And the beautiful thing abouthaving a podcast versus say, a
(02:06):
social media following is.
I can say whatever the hell Iwant.
I don't just.
Put things on the podcastbecause I have no idea of what
to talk about.
Almost every episode is groundedin some conversation.
Some email I received.
Talking about.
(02:27):
What it feels like to be amidlife woman navigating life
right now.
I love the podcast and I amthrilled to receive comments and
emails and your reviews.
All of it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for recommending thepodcast to your friends.
(02:48):
Thank you for sticking with me.
Um, yeah, so 100 episodes and somuch of that is a Testament to.
You the audience who show up tolisten to what I have to say.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
In today's episode because it'sdropping at the end of January.
I want to talk about changes inyour life because it, it feels
(03:11):
like it's January.
So many of us are making.
Plenty of lifestyle changes,right?
We start the year strong withthis idea that.
We're going to get back to thegym and we're going to finally
get our eating and check, youknow, all of those typical.
New year's resolutions slashlife goals slash big dreams,
whatever you want to call it.
(03:33):
However you refer to it.
But for the most part inJanuary.
We really are focused onlifestyle changes.
What am I eating?
How am I moving my body?
Am I getting enough sleep?
What am I doing at work that hascreeping into my personal life.
And because it's the beginningof the year, we've got all this
(03:55):
momentum and we think, you knowwhat?
This is going to be my year.
I'm going to start doing all thethings that I said I was going
to do for the last severalyears.
And this is it.
It's going to be my year.
So we start making big changesin our life.
Changes that other people cansee.
Right.
They notice that we're going tothe gym more often.
(04:15):
We're we're actually evenshowing up to the gym.
We are maybe.
Taking our lunch, we're packingour lunch so that we know that
we're going to get enoughprotein in.
Setting some time boundarieswith how late we're staying at
the office, because we want toreclaim some of that work creep
time that we gave back at theend of the year.
(04:37):
You know, cause we, we want tohave a clearer separation
between work and life.
And you know, we've obviouslytalked about work-life balance
here on the podcast before andhow it's not really a thing.
But there are ways that we canseparate the two and feel better
about them than not.
So we start the year.
Trying to create massive changein our life.
(05:01):
And.
I don't know about you, but itseems like a lot of the things I
try and do at the beginning ofthe year.
Are either the exact same that Itried to do at the beginning of
last year, or maybe a couple ofyears ago, because it feels like
I can be really good.
At moving my body in anintentional way.
(05:22):
Eating.
Correctly or.
Not that there's any right orwrong way to eat.
There.
There are really no good or badfoods, but nourishing my body in
a way that makes sense versusmaybe eating way too much sugar
or consuming.
One or two glasses of.
Wine that are going to make mesleep like shit and feel like
(05:44):
crap for a couple of days.
But there are, there are thingsthat I focus on at the beginning
of the year, because it's aclean slate.
It's a perfect time to startdoing the things.
And.
Like I said, if I'm honest, Mostof the goals or dreams or
resolutions or whatever you wantto call them.
Many of them are the same onesthat I had.
(06:05):
A couple of years ago, becauseI'm really good for awhile.
And then there's this littleblack slide and it starts with,
you know, what.
One glass of wine with dinner,isn't going to hurt me or.
I'd really like to sleep in thismorning.
So not going to go to the gymtoday.
And that one day becomes maybetwo or three times this week.
(06:26):
And before, you know, it.
It's been months since you'vebeen to the gym and then you can
kind of chalk that up to, well,the weather has been really
nice.
It's been summer.
And I haven't needed to go tothe gym.
I'll get back to it in the fall.
And then that gets pushed to thebeginning of the year.
And then here we are with thesame kind of.
Goals or dreams or resolutionsthat we've had in previous
(06:49):
years, because.
We're really focused.
We're really determined.
We're really committed.
For a while.
And then that little backslidestarts.
And then before you know, it,that backslide.
Is, it becomes our new normal,it becomes exactly where we
didn't want to end up to beginwith.
And we're, we're kind of back inthe same spot.
(07:12):
Most of those changes.
Again, our lifestyle changes.
They are physical changes.
They are changes that peoplefrom the outside can see us
making.
And certainly we could talk allabout.
Lifestyle changes and why theydon't stick at the beginning of
the year.
If we don't have the proper.
Guardrails in place if we'reonly doing them because we feel
(07:34):
like we should, and we don'thave an underlying.
Want or desire to make.
The change needed to stick withwhatever goal it is that we're
trying to achieve.
But I will tell you that.
The biggest.
The greatest impact.
If you want to make this yeardifferent then prior years, if
(07:57):
you want to make lasting changegoing forward.
The greatest impact.
We'll be your mindset change.
What I mean by that.
The greatest thing you can dofor long term.
Change in your life.
Is to change your mindset.
It's to take out the trash.
What I mean by that is.
(08:17):
The person that we.
Here from more than anyone elsein our lives.
Is us.
When people talk about.
The devil, you know, versus thedevil, you don't know.
I understand that there areplenty of ways to interpret
that.
For me, it always brings me backto the devil that lives between
(08:39):
my two ears.
The one that tells me that I'mtoo fat.
Or I'm too old.
Or I'm too slow.
Or I'm never going to get thehang of this, or I never stick
with anything.
Can any of you relate to thatdevil?
Do you have a similar one thatlives in your mind as well?
(09:00):
Because here's the honest truthand no one is talking about
this.
Unless you're intentional about.
Changing your mindset.
So that it is your biggestcheerleader instead of your
biggest detractor.
The devil that points out whatyou're doing wrong, why.
You don't have the fulfillmentthat you have always wanted.
(09:22):
Why can't you just be happy witheverything that you have,
whatever that devil is saying.
Your life is not going to changein the way you want it to, until
you fix your mindset.
Because.
All of the words that you aresaying to yourself, whether or
not you say them out loud.
So when I say saying, I mean,even just thinking them.
(09:46):
The words we use when we talk toourself are so important.
They are so powerful.
A guy that I went to elementary,junior high and part of high
school grew up to be a.
Mental.
Performance coach forprofessional athletes.
And.
What Trevor used to say.
(10:07):
Rest in peace.
What Trevor used to say was.
Thinking.
Bad thoughts about yourself.
Is a recipe.
For disaster.
Actually saying them out loud.
So that you can hear yourselfsaying them.
Exponentially worse.
So it's bad enough that you'rethinking them.
When you say them out loud, whenyou give them as an excuse, when
(10:29):
you respond to someone'squestion.
Even if you're just musing aboutit yourself.
It's exponentially worse for youto say it out loud, because then
not only are you thinking it.
On either some subconsciouslevel or maybe even, maybe even
more.
In your face prevalent than juston a subconscious.
(10:51):
When you bring those words tolife and you actually hear
yourself saying them, You'redoing yourself a disservice.
And disservice is.
Putting it very mildly.
You should stop that.
Because you can make all of thephysical changes you want in
your life.
If you don't believe you wereworth it.
(11:12):
If your mindset is not right.
It won't matter.
It will not stick because onsome subconscious level you are
thinking I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve this.
I'm too old.
I'm too fat.
I never stick with anything,whatever you say to yourself.
When you.
Aren't sure if things are goingto work out the way that you
(11:35):
want them to.
Whenever you are explaining away a situation.
Whenever you are thinking, gosh,I would really like to try this,
but here are my list of excuses.
Why?
I can't, I'd like to startlearning how to play pickleball,
maybe.
Oh, but my back.
I can't do anything with it.
(11:56):
I'd really love to run amarathon because to me, there's
something about dedicatingmyself.
Two.
Uh, plan.
And knowing exactly what I'mgonna be doing for the next 16
or 20 weeks.
And then actually going andrunning the thing.
I love the idea that, oh, but myknee I've got bad knees.
I can't do that.
(12:16):
Oh, but I'm so old.
I can't do that.
Oh, but I was picked last forthe sports teams.
So I'm just, I'm not athletic.
Whatever excuses that you aregiving yourself to.
Maybe you think you're lettingyourself off the hook?
Fine.
But I'm telling you.
That is the one thing.
(12:37):
That until you get it fixed.
That is going to have thegreatest impact on whether you
actually are able to achievethose lifestyle changes.
That you want, or at least thatyou say that you want.
Because.
When it w when we really getdown to the nitty-gritty.
The things that you say toyourself matter.
(12:58):
And what's so interesting to meis.
For the most part.
The shit we say to ourselvesagain, whether it's out loud or
we just think it, we would neversay to anybody else in our life,
would we.
I mean, would you ever say toyour friend you're too old?
You're too fat.
You never stick with anythingyou're you're way too slow.
(13:20):
You don't deserve that.
Raise at work.
You're not worthy of love likethat in your life.
No.
In fact, fuck no, no, you wouldnot do that to your best friend.
Almost.
Invariably.
When your friend has an issue.
And maybe it does relate to someof these.
(13:40):
Limiting beliefs that she mighthave about herself.
You are quick to reframe them.
You are quick to say you're nottoo old.
Let's look at the six or eightthings you did last year.
You were a beginner of thosethings.
You weren't too old to trysomething new, then.
What are you talking about?
You don't stick with anything.
(14:01):
Uh, no, that's, that'sridiculous.
You are so dependable.
Anytime anyone has ever neededyou, you have been the first
call that they make.
You're the first person thatshows up.
You're the first person.
To volunteer to do something.
We go to bat for our friends.
We go to bat for other people inour lives who are doubting
(14:23):
themselves.
Who might think that they're notworth an accolade or an
achievement or recognition?
We tell them that's bullshit.
The reason that they're gettingthe achievement or the
recognition.
Is because they deserve it.
When I give somebody acompliment.
And they try and talk me out ofthe compliment.
The first thing I say back tothem is actually.
(14:46):
All you need to say is thankyou.
And as women we're terrible atthat.
Aren't we?
Because, oh, I really like yoursweater.
Oh, this old thing.
Oh, I've had it forever.
I was running late today.
I just threw it on because itwas the first thing I grabbed.
Right.
We do that.
We it's like, we're trying to.
Move the spotlight away from us.
(15:07):
We're trying to.
Explain why we're really not.
Worthy of the compliment that wejust received.
And when we do that, we'retelling the person who gave us a
compliment.
You're wrong.
You have no idea what you'retalking about, but.
What the hell.
I mean, what.
Why would we do that?
Somebody is saying somethingnice to us.
(15:30):
Oh, that's the other thing wedo.
Oh, she doesn't really mean it.
She's just being nice.
Does that sound familiar?
Of course it does.
We do that all the time.
Listen to me when I say this.
People don't go around givingyou compliments.
Just to give you compliments.
Most people are so involved.
So self-involved that they'renot worried about you.
(15:51):
Like when we, as women, when weare concerned about being seen
as a beginner, we're startingsomething new and we don't want
other people to see a screw upor fail.
For the most part nobody'slooking at you.
They're so worried aboutthemselves.
So when somebody actually goesout of their way to say
something nice to you.
They mean it.
Otherwise, they wouldn't say itlike they've got enough going on
(16:14):
in their own life that theywould just keep it to
themselves.
So when you get a compliment,all you really need to say is
thank you.
And I remind my friends aboutthat.
All the time.
Anytime I see them happening,anytime I say something nice to
them.
And they try and talk me out ofit.
I always turn it back on themand say, The best way to respond
(16:36):
to a compliment is just a smileand say, thank you.
You don't have to talk me out ofit.
You don't have to tell me thatI'm wrong.
All you have to do is say, thankyou.
And I'll tell you what.
They get it.
As soon as I say it, they getit.
But the really interestingthing.
When somebody gives me acompliment.
My first response is not to justsmile and say, thank you.
(16:56):
My first inclination.
Is to go through all of thereasons why.
That compliment probably isn'tmeant for me.
So I know how I'm supposed toreact.
And yet.
I still mess this up all thetime.
Because on some level.
I still feel like I'm trying toprove myself.
(17:17):
On some level in certainsituation, I just don't feel
like I belong yet.
Like it, you know, it's this,it's this.
Crazy.
Call it imposter syndrome, callit a lack of feeling worthy, a
lack of feeling enough, youknow, however you want to
describe it.
But.
Even.
As a coach for midlife women.
(17:38):
Uh, coach who I I've got my shittogether.
I know what I'm doing.
The transformations I can getfrom my clients are.
Incredible.
And yet I still struggle withthis.
Because I'm human.
Right.
I'm I'm a woman I've beenconditioned to.
To make sure that the spotlightis not on me.
I'm not one of those people who,who seeks out attention.
(18:01):
I'd rather the attention besomewhere else.
But what I've learned.
Is.
I can't talk to myself.
Any differently than I should betalking to.
The people in my life who areimportant to me.
Because I spend more time withmyself listening to my thoughts.
Listening to what comes out ofmy mouth.
(18:22):
Than any one else in my life.
Every single day, the person Ispend the most time with is my
self.
And there are periods of doubtthat I have.
There are periods when I amfeeling.
And competent.
That I don't belong.
That I'm not enough.
And when I find myself.
In that backslide of negativethoughts.
(18:45):
I actually, press on the knuckleof my index finger.
I have actually created thisanchor that when I am in that
sort of spiral, when I havethose thoughts, I have to do
something to interrupt thepattern.
There are many things that youcould do You just have to find
(19:05):
what works for you and do that.
I'm very quick to notice thosenegative thoughts.
Now I was, I wasn't always thatway.
This is something that I haveI've really had to work on.
But when I notice it.
I press the knuckle on my indexfinger.
And then I'm done.
Like I'm thinking aboutsomething else.
I see what's going on.
(19:26):
And then I immediately.
Change.
The thinking.
And I know that this is probablygoing to sound a little woo, woo
to you because we don't, youknow, a lot of times we're
talking about frameworks andsystems and process and.
How you can make massive changein your life by doing X, Y, and
Z.
And yes, all of those areimportant.
(19:46):
Everything that I coach at theSchool of Midlife.
Not only is it proven with thewomen who have gone through the
coaching, but I've done itmyself.
I would never ask.
Anybody that I'm coaching to doanything differently than I
have.
Gone through experienced andproven myself.
No one is talking about theidea.
(20:08):
That in order to.
Move forward in your life, inthe way that you want to in
order to make those lifestylechanges.
You've got to move out of the3-d.
You've got to start thinkingabout things differently.
Because here is the God's honesttruth.
If you could make.
(20:28):
The lifestyle changes stickforever.
By just working harder.
By just adding more to yourto-do list.
By just achieving the next thingthat you're working towards.
If you could do that, if youcould make your life.
The happiest, most fulfilled,most satisfying life by working
harder.
(20:49):
You would already have.
The exact life that you havealways wanted.
Let me say that again in fewerwords, because that was, that
was a mouthful.
But if all you needed to do tocreate massive change in your
life was to work harder.
You would already be living thelife that you want.
That might sting a little.
(21:10):
Because we are roll our sleevesup kind of women.
We are high-performing women.
We are high achieving women.
When we say we're going to dosomething goddammit, we're going
to get it done.
But the fact that you havethings you want to do in your
life, that you have some dreamsthat you haven't been able to
fulfill, that you have goals.
That are different than thereality that you were living
(21:32):
every day.
Like there's something in thefuture that you want, the you
don't have right now.
The fact that that is true.
Means that you.
At least partially wantsomething different than you
have right now.
That's what goals are rightthere.
They're the vehicle to get youfrom where you are now to where
you want to be.
That's what dreams are.
(21:54):
They, whether you want to callthem a dream or a goal.
An aspiration.
However you want to describe it.
It's just the difference betweenwhere you are now and where you
want to be in the future.
It's something different thanyou have right now.
And because so many of us have.
Poured our heart and soul intoworking hard.
(22:15):
We're no strangers to hard work.
We, we think that.
If we don't have what we wantright now, all we have to do is
work a little bit harder.
And I'm telling you if that wasthe case.
If the only thing that youactually needed to go from point
a to point B was to work alittle harder.
You would already haveeverything you ever desired.
(22:38):
The fact that there's still thatgap between where you are and
where you want to go.
Means something else has tochange.
And I'm telling you that onething.
Is your mindset.
And I feel like a lot of peopleare poo-pooing mindset, you
know?
Oh, yeah.
I just have to have gratitudeand I have to think positive
(23:00):
thoughts and yeah, that's,that's part of it.
But.
It's even more than that.
It's actually believing thethings that you are telling
yourself.
And if.
You're not ready to do thatquite yet.
You know, if you're still tryingto argue for all of the
limitations that you have inyour life for why you can't live
(23:20):
the life that you want.
Fine.
Aye.
If you're going to argue foryour limitations, you get to
keep them.
I'm not going to stand in yourway.
But.
If this is the year.
That you are finally going tostep into the person that you
have always wanted to be, tolive the life that you have
always wanted to live.
I am telling you.
(23:41):
It's time to take out the trash.
It's time to stop thinking theshitty thoughts about yourself.
And I know for some of us.
That's how we're funny.
Right?
We use self-deprecating humor toshow up as funny.
That being the funny one,telling the jokes at our own
expense, that is a way for us todeflect attention away from us.
(24:03):
It's a, it's a way for us to.
Shine the spotlight somewhereelse.
I get it.
I've done it for decades.
But here's the truth.
Your brain.
Your subconscious brain does notknow the difference between you
saying shitty things aboutyourself to get a laugh.
And you saying shitty thingsbecause your brain thinks you
mean it.
It's all processed in exactlythe same way to your brain.
(24:27):
So if you're somebody who usesself-deprecating humor to cut
the tension in a room to takethe spotlight off for yourself.
Stop it.
It's not doing anybody any good.
And beyond that.
Beyond not doing other people.
Good.
It's actually really harmful toyourself.
I know that this episode hassounded a little preachy.
(24:50):
That that was not my intention.
But.
For whatever reason, I foundmyself in a number of rooms with
high performing midlife women inthe last week.
And there is this excitementabout the new year.
There is this momentum, there'sthis feeling almost across the
(25:10):
board.
That 20, 25 is going to be atransformational year.
And I feel that myself, I reallyfeel like for me and the School
of Midlife, there's been a lotof building to 20 25, 20 25.
Is going to knock my socks off.
I know it.
I I'm, I'm ready.
I'm stepping into that change.
(25:31):
I'm stepping into the person whoI need to be to have to embrace
that transformational year.
I'm ready for it.
I'm here for.
When I've been talking to thosewomen over the past week.
Invariably.
They're limiting beliefs come upin ways that they don't even
recognize they're excuses forwhy they can't do something
(25:52):
they're excuses for why theycan't start something new, their
excuses about.
Why they can't reach their fullpotential.
And I get it.
They're not trying to do it.
To be negative or.
Difficult.
They're doing it because theirsubconscious is trying to
protect them.
The subconscious brain does notwant them to get led down.
(26:15):
Doesn't want them to beembarrassed.
Doesn't want them to face anyfear.
It wants to protect them, wantsto keep them safe.
But.
The life, your looking for thatmidlife and beyond best life.
That one, that when you closeyour eyes and you think about,
and you dream about.
You.
Can't.
Have that life.
(26:37):
If you stay in your comfortzone.
Because part of having that lifeand living that life.
Is the person that you need tobecome to make that life your
reality.
And that person.
Doesn't go around thinking I'mtoo fat.
I'm too old.
I never stick with anything.
I'm too slow.
I'm too much.
I'm not worth this.
(26:57):
She doesn't think those things,if she does, she notices it and
she immediately does a patterninterrupt and starts proving
those limiting beliefs wrong.
So when I say it's time to takeout the trash.
What I mean is this is the yearthat we need to be aware of our
limiting beliefs.
(27:18):
And.
Get rid of them.
The reasons that we are tellingourself.
Why we're not good enough.
Why we don't deserve something.
Why.
What we want is never going tohappen for us.
Those reasons, those beliefs,those limitations we're done
with them.
We're taking them out.
Because just like we start theyear making resolutions or goals
(27:41):
four changes in our lifestyle,the changes that everyone else
can see around us.
We have to do things differentlyin our life to.
Have the lifestyle changes thatwe keep saying we want.
And just like that.
In order to make those changes,we have to start.
With our mindset.
That's the number one thing,otherwise.
(28:03):
We'll stick with that new gymschedule for awhile.
Until we think, you know what?
I'm not seeing any results.
Why am I spending my time onthis?
I'm too old.
My body has changed so much.
I'm not going to be able to makechanges that I want.
I'm never going to be able tofit in that swimsuit.
Again, my hormones are allscrewed up.
I'm in midlife.
I, I will always have thatbelly.
(28:26):
If we keep telling ourselvesthat, then that is the reality
that we're going to create.
Which means we will never makethose lifestyle changes that we,
that we're saying are soimportant to us.
So it's time to take out thetrash it's time to stop
believing everything you thinkabout yourself.
It's time to start.
Rewriting those limitingbeliefs.
(28:46):
It's time to stop.
Arguing for them.
If you keep telling yourselfthat you can't do something
because of these limitingbeliefs that you're holding onto
again, if you argue you for yourlimiting beliefs?
You get to keep them.
One of my favorite quotes.
And I know I've shared with thison the podcast with you before.
It's from Albert Einstein, whosays the definition of insanity
(29:07):
is doing the same things overand over and over again, and
expecting different results.
If you really want to make thoselifestyle changes, stick.
The key difference this year isgetting rid of the limiting
beliefs, taking out the trash,cleaning up your mindset.
I promise you.
And just like we talked aboutearlier in the episode.
(29:28):
If there was a way to do itwithout changing your mindset.
You know, may maybe you justwant to work a little harder.
If that actually worked.
You'd already be doing itbecause you are no stranger to
hard work.
So my question to you is.
What limiting beliefs are youready to let go of.
What limiting beliefs are nolonger serving you.
(29:48):
And, and if, if you arestruggling with the term
limiting beliefs, Think about itthis way.
What words are you using todescribe yourself that no
longer.
Describe the person you are andthe person you're becoming.
What things are you saying toyourself?
Whether out loud or you're justthinking them, what things are
(30:09):
you saying to yourself?
That no longer reflect theperson that you are, or the
person that you're becoming.
And once you have identifiedthose limiting beliefs.
Then how are you going toreframe those thoughts when you
think that.
What's your plan?
What are you going to do?
Because.
It's one thing to identify them.
(30:30):
But how are you going to changethem?
How are you going to.
Convince your subconscious brainthat those thoughts, those
aren't you anymore.
They might've been a priorversion of you, but that's not
who you are anymore.
What are you going to do?
Have a plan.
Because it's going to come up.
And just like, we've got a planto make those lifestyle changes.
Stick.
(30:51):
We have to have a plan to.
Stop the limiting beliefs,because that's, what's really
holding us back.
When we figure that out, thiscan be the biggest, most
impactful, the mosttransformational year of your
life.
I guarantee it.
We got to start by taking outthe trash.
If anything that we talked aboutresonated with you, I would love
(31:13):
for you to drop me a line andlet me know how you're going to
implement some of these changesin your life.
If you're listening to this.
Screenshot it.
Tag me on Instagram.
Throw it in your stories.
If you've got a friend who wouldlove to hear this, I would love
it if you would share thisepisode with her.
Because as you know, my missionwith the School of Midlife is to
(31:35):
give mid-life women everywhere.
The tools.
The information and the mindsetthat they need to make midlife
and beyond their very best life.
And.
I can't do it without your help.
And frankly, your friends.
Listen to you more than theylisten to anybody else.
Right.
So a great recommendation fromyou would mean the world to me.
(31:55):
Thank you so much for being herefor our 100th episode.
And I will see you right backhere next week when the school
of midlife is back in session.
Until then take good care.
Thank you so much for listeningto the School of Midlife
podcast.
It means so much to have youhere each week.
If you enjoyed this episode,could you do me the biggest
(32:17):
favor and help us spread theword to other midlife women?
There are a couple of easy waysfor you to do that first.
And most importantly, if you'renot already following the show,
would you please subscribe?
That helps you because you'llnever miss an episode.
And it helps us because you'llnever miss an episode.
(32:37):
Second, if you'd be so kind toleave us a five-star rating,
that would be absolutelyincredible.
And finally, I personally readeach and every one of your
reviews.
So if you take a minute and saysome nice things about the
podcast, well, that's just goodkarma.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you right back here.
Next week when the School ofMidlife is back in session until
(32:58):
then take good care.
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