Overcome Addiction & Take Control

Ever notice how a “little escape” becomes the main event? We dig into the hidden sequence that drives most self-sabotage: discontentment breeds coping, coping breeds entitlement, and entitlement locks the cycle. Through a candid client story about marital distance and porn relapse, we show how ego turns justifications into handcuffs—and how to break free with clarity, courage, and consistent action.

We talk about the real reasons people reach for quick relief—alcohol, pills, porn, food, or endless scrolling—and why the short-term numbness never repairs the core issue. I walk through a practical audit of life domains—relationships, mental health, fitness, finances, career, and spirituality—to spot the exact gaps that trigger vices. You’ll learn why writing your thoughts cuts through fog, how to frame honest conversations that heal instead of blame, and what to do when fear of conflict keeps you stuck.

From there, we shift into a grounded playbook: replace numbing loops with stabilizing rituals, design simple pattern breaks for high-risk moments, and rebuild trust with actions that make you proud. No fluff—just direct tools to confront what hurts, speak what’s true, and act in a way your future self will thank you for. If you’re ready to stop justifying choices that weaken you and start repairing the parts of life that matter most, this one offers the map and the motive.

If this message hit home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so we can reach more people ready to change.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
If you do something that you know you shouldn't do
and you justify the behavior,it's because you feel like what
you're entitled to do it, you'reabove, you're above everybody
else.
It's okay for you to do it.
Entitlement is so damaging.
That's when the ego manipulatesyou to do something that you
know is not to your advantage orbettering you in your life, but
you do it anyways because youjustify it.

(00:28):
Welcome back to another episodeof the Unstoppable Mindset
Podcast.
I'm your host, Sean Crane, andthank you for tuning in to this
message.
Make sure to subscribe and shareif you haven't already.
The goal is to grow exposure,grow this message, change more
lives.
I couldn't do it without yoursupport.
So I appreciate you helping mereach more people, share with
your friends, family, socialmedia.

(00:49):
I don't care.
I appreciate it.
And today I want to share withyou guys a message that's going
to help you.
Okay.
Whether you're somebody that'sstruggling with vices, um, uh,
you know, procrastination,pleasure-seeking behavior, or if
you know somebody, this couldgenerate some insight that will
help them break free of thatpattern and change and make a
meaningful change.
And so the first thing I want toshare with you is how we end up

(01:12):
basically justifyingpleasure-seeking behavior.
What I mean by that is if you'resomebody that uses drugs and
alcohol to numb things out orcope, maybe use food like a lot
of people do to manage stress orjust some something that you're
unhappy with in your life.
A lot of people get addicted totheir phones and screen time.
I know a lot of guys out therewho struggle with porn addiction

(01:32):
or sex addiction.
You know, there's a lot ofdifferent addictions that people
develop.
And there's a reason why.
It's like a band-aid.
It numbs some feelings,something that you don't want to
face.
You know, for me, I battledaddiction for 10 years,
predominantly pills, alcohol,weed, but I would just do all
kinds of drugs.
I'd go out and party and I wasjust wild.
And it was because I was numbingout pain and hurt from my past

(01:54):
that I didn't want to deal withbecause I wasn't willing to
accept it.
And the reason I wouldn't acceptit is because I wasn't willing
to even talk about it or faceit.
So we're going to get into that.
We're going to get into how youhave to address things if you
want them to change.
You have to have a littlecourage there and willingness.
Because it's really hard to lookat parts of your life that
you're unhappy with and addressthem, especially if it's in a

(02:14):
marriage, especially if it'swith your business partner,
especially whether it's yourbest friend.
Like relationships are some ofthe issues that over time become
toxic and people don't change oraddress them, and it allows
these issues to persist.
So the first thing I want toshare with you is, and you can
write this down.
Write this down because when youwrite things down, it increases

(02:36):
your retention up to 60%.
So whether it's a podcastepisode, a piece of piece of
content you like, if it'ssomething you're reading in a
book, write it down.
Take notes.
It's going to help you to retainthat information that much more.
And I want you to write thisdown.
Discontentment in your life,meaning being unhappy with
something, not content, notgrateful for it.
Discontentment leads topleasure-seeking behavior, and

(02:59):
it also leads to entitlementaround that behavior.
So let's take, let's take thisexample, for instance.
I'm going to say that again.
Discontentment leads topleasure-seeking behavior.
Again, vices, right?
Something that you're using tonumb out that feeling.
And it also creates entitlementaround that behavior, like

(03:20):
justification.
You know, and I want to use thisexample.
I was talking to one of myclients last week, and we
brought this exact topic up.
And he's somebody who has in thepast struggled with not just sex
addiction, but more recently,porn addiction.
And he and we were talking aboutthis, and it was something that
he's done well, abstaining from,but that every once in a while
like relapses.
And I've worked with a lot ofclients who have porn addiction.

(03:44):
I've worked with a lot ofclients who have addiction to
drugs and alcohol.
I've worked with a lot ofclients who have food addiction.
You know, they're all verysimilar.
People use a different substanceor have a different outlet, but
it's all to numb a feeling outand make them feel okay in a
moment where they're at disease,where they don't feel well,
where they have discontentment.
Right?
What it does is it temporarilynumb that feeling.

(04:05):
It blocks it.
It's like a band-aid, but itdoesn't fix the core issue.
Typically, the core issue comesfrom something that they went
through that they're upsetabout, angry about, some hurt,
some shame, something they'restill discontent about in their
life.
Okay.
So we're talking about this, meand my client, and in the midst
of that, he brings up hisrelationship with his wife and
how they haven't been on thesame page for about a year or 18

(04:27):
months.
And this is something thatstarted happening after their
last child that they had.
They're not intimate as much.
He's not getting the affectionfrom her.
It's not just the sex, it's theattention too that he's bringing
up.
So that leads to him justfeeling discontent about the
relationship, lacking gratitudefor this beautiful life they've
created, like not looking attheir relationship through the

(04:48):
lens of positivity, but more soof lacking, right?
So this first starts as athought, a perspective, right?
That festers over time.
And then it leads to a feeling,an underlying emotion.
And so for him, that becamediscontentment.
Discontentment with therelationship, not feeling like
he's appreciated, not having hisneeds met.
And I'm sure a lot of you outthere can relate to that,

(05:09):
especially in relationships.
But people have the sameunderlying feeling in a lot of
areas of life.
Maybe it has to do with yourcareer path or the amount of
money you make in your job orjust your friends or just what
you're doing in your life.
Maybe, like my client, it's oneof your personal and close
relationships.
Maybe it's your marriage.
And so when this happens,instead of addressing it,
talking about it, andcommunicating this feeling to

(05:32):
his wife, um, he just let it letit persist.
He didn't want to rock the boat,so to speak.
You know, a lot of times inrelationships, uh, people are
scared to bring things up.
They're scared to create anargument, they're scared to
create, you know, theseresentments and and they don't
want to have that uncomfortablefeeling of arguing and fighting.
Sometimes you gotta fight thingsout and you gotta you gotta
communicate to get on the samepage.

(05:54):
And one of the best things youcan do, especially in a
marriage, is be honest with yoursignificant other.
And even if you feel likesomething you tell them might
hurt them or might cause them tobe shocked a little bit, um,
people don't know what theydon't know.
They can't change if if you'renot being open and honest with
them.
And so, yeah, it might mighthurt them at first.
Like if my client was like, hey,I've been uh to his wife, I've

(06:15):
been looking at porn, you know,I relapsed, I've been
masturbating every night.
Like, that's an embarrassingthing for a man to probably go
and tell his wife for most guysand make him feel ashamed and
make him feel embarrassed.
But guess what?
If if you're scared to dosomething because of those
reasons, chances are you'realready internalizing those
emotions.
So this is actually what cameout of my conversation with my

(06:36):
client.
You know, he's talking about howhe's not being intimate with his
wife, how he's relapsed on porn,and you know, he's doing
something that he feels ashamedabout.
That's what it ultimately comesdown to.
He's feeling ashamed of thebehavior, right?
And he's also justifying it.
This is where the entitlementcomes into play.
Okay.
If you do something that youknow you shouldn't do and you
justify the behavior, it'sbecause you feel like what?

(06:57):
You're entitled to do it, you'reabove, you're above everybody
else.
It's okay for you to do it.
Entitlement is so damaging.
That's when the ego manipulatesyou to do something that you
know is not to your advantage orbettering you in your life, but
you do it anyways because youjustify it.
Oh, my wife's not giving meattention.
Like, oh, things have changed inthe relationship, you know.

(07:19):
Like, that's like the guy who'snot making money in his job and
he feels bad because he can'tprovide the life he wants for
his family.
So he's drinking every night tonumb that feeling out.
Same thing.
You're justifying the behavior,you're entitled.
You're entitled to drink becauseyou're broke, because you feel
like you're being a lame fatheror provider for your family.
So that's never gonna work.

(07:40):
That's never gonna resolve thecore issue.
Same with my client who islooking at porn and feeling bad
about that because he's amarried man.
It's not gonna resolve or fixthe relationship.
See, a lot of people have thisdelusion where if they just
leave something alone and ignoreit for a while, it fixes itself.
Seldom does that work.
Oftentimes it progresses andgets worse.
The issue, the resentment, theunderlying emotion, the feeling,

(08:03):
it gets worse over time.
It never goes away.
And so if you want to fix anyarea of your life where you feel
discontentment, and that'sleading to these coping
mechanisms, behaviors that don'tserve you, these vices, these
bad habits, number one, you haveto be aware of it.
You have to be aware of it andtake inventory.
This is why self-reflection andhonesty with self is so

(08:26):
important.
I want you to look at every areaof your life right now:
relationships, health, yourmental health, your
spirituality, your finances,your career, take inventory.
Are all these areas up to par?
Are they exactly where you wantthem to be?
Or do you have a void?
Is there a missing piece?
Is there something that you'rediscontent about?
Secondly, if you're in amarriage like my client, or you
know, you have a career and ajob that you hate, or you're

(08:47):
unhappy with your friend group,or whatever it is, you have to
have the courage to address itand and and talk to somebody or
communicate this issue.
You have to be assertive anddirect, you know.
And if you want to fix anything,you have to go to the problem.
You have to address the problem,identify who, what, why, you
know, and I would recommendwriting these things out and
taking time to reflect.

(09:08):
But then you have to be willingto do something about it.
You know, the person that justkeeps themselves in denial and
they're too scared tocommunicate or address an issue,
you're gonna make the problemworse over time.
You're gonna continue with thatbehavior that you know you
shouldn't do.
You're entitled, so you'rejustifying the fact that you're
doing it.
And ultimately you're gonnasabotage yourself and make

(09:29):
certain parts of your life worsebecause of that.
So I hope this message reachedsomeone that needed to hear it.
I know a lot of people outthere, like myself in the past,
who struggle with addiction, whostruggle with these coping
behaviors, this pleasure-seekingbehavior that in the moment
feels good, in the moment numbsout some pain or creates this
feel inside of you that you'relonging.
But long term, it makes you alesser version of yourself, it

(09:50):
makes you weaker, and it's gonnacompromise the results in the
life that you truly want.
So, you guys, do me a favor,share this message with someone
that you know needs to hear it.
Like I said, share, like,comment, subscribe.
Do do your best to support thischannel.
Let's reach more people withthis message.
I appreciate you.
Have an amazing rest of yourday.