June 26, 2025 • 16 mins
Ever wonder what truly separates those who achieve their dreams from those who remain perpetually stuck? The answer isn't talent, resources, or luck – it's avoiding six critical mistakes that derail most people's progress toward meaningful change.
This episode reveals the fundamental roadblocks preventing you from achieving your goals and provides actionable strategies to overcome each one. I share personal insights from my own transformation journey, breaking the "Crane family curse" of addiction and creating a completely different life than the one I was destined to live. These lessons aren't theoretical – they're battle-tested through my work with thousands of coaching clients who have dramatically transformed their lives.
The first mistake is lacking clarity about what you truly want. Without a singular focus and clear vision, you'll constantly shift priorities and never build the momentum needed for significant achievement. The most successful people I know demonstrate almost tunnel-vision focus on their primary goals, allowing everything else to fall away naturally.
We also explore how negative self-talk, inconsistent habits, pleasure-seeking behaviors, fear of judgment, and comfort addiction systematically destroy your chances of success. Each of these obstacles creates a predictable pattern of self-sabotage that keeps you stuck in cycles of starting and stopping without ever reaching your destination.
What makes this episode particularly powerful is the recognition that sometimes knowing what NOT to do is more valuable than adding more tactics to your already overwhelming to-do list. By eliminating these six critical mistakes, you create space for positive change to flourish naturally.
Ready to break free from what's holding you back? Subscribe to the Unstoppable Mindset Podcast for weekly strategies to transform your mindset and create lasting change in your life. Leave a review sharing which of these six roadblocks resonated most with you – I read every single one!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
When you have a singular focus on a goal or
outcome that you want to achieve, you can obsess over it, and
when you're obsessed you havethat tunnel vision.
Everything else gets cast aside.
The best advice I can give toanyone is just focus on one
freaking thing when it comes tobusiness and get obsessed over
it.
But a person without a visionwill always get lost and they
will always get sidetracked.
Just remember that If you don'thave a focus, if you're not
(00:20):
going to a specific point intothe future and a place you want
to be in life, you're nevergoing to get there.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Unstoppable Mindset
Podcast.
I'm your host, sean MichaelCrane.
Today's episode.
I want to share with you sixreasons people don't achieve
(00:43):
their goals in life.
This is really importantbecause I think a lot of times
on social media or podcasting,you'll hear people talk about
all the things you need to do tochange and improve.
Sometimes, when it comes tochanging, it's just as easy to
know what not to do as it isknowing what to do, and
sometimes it's easier to likecut things out of your life than
to focus on new things you haveto do, and sometimes it's
(01:05):
easier to like cut things out ofyour life than to focus on new
things you have to do.
Because anytime you open upspace by eliminating people, bad
habits, old ways of doingthings, it opens up space for
you to now integrate the rightway to do things, the right
people to be around, the rightway to spend your time.
And so it's just the way thebrain works.
You know, sometimes you don'tbelieve in your goals or your
future, all that stuff that youwant to achieve, but you do
(01:25):
understand what needs to happenright now in order for you to
improve your life Right.
But when I think about reasonswhy people don't change or why
they don't achieve their goals,the first thing that stands out
is they don't get clear on whatthey actually want.
And you'll hear people talkabout your vision or having
goals, and the brain does reallywell when you have detail right
(01:45):
, when you have a singular focuson a goal or outcome that you
want to achieve, you can obsessover it.
And when you're obsessed andyou have that tunnel vision,
everything else gets cast aside.
It's really easy to makedecisions.
You're more decisive, you'remore focused, you'll have more
energy.
It just is going to make itthat much more possible for you
to get to where you want to goRight.
(02:05):
But if you don't have yourgoals defined or your vision
clear in your mind, how the heckare you going to get there
Right?
And I see this happen a lot oftime to people.
They're really indecisive.
One day they want to be afreaking astronaut, the next day
they want to be an investor,then they want to be a UFC
fighter, then they want to fliphomes and be in real estate, and
Then they want to flip homesand be in real estate, and it's
just like they're all over theplace.
The best advice I can give toanyone is just focus on one
(02:27):
freaking thing when it comes tobusiness and get obsessed over
it.
And if you don't know what youwant to do in business, just
start working on yourself andget clear on who your ideal best
self would be Like.
Almost like you could sketchthat person out.
How would they dress?
What would their hair be like?
What would their physique belike?
What?
What would their hair be like?
What would their physique belike?
What were their mannerisms,their characteristics?
Like I remember, when I startedchanging my life in jail, I knew
(02:48):
that I wanted to be outgoingand charismatic.
I knew that I wanted to beeducated and, you know, being
fit, like.
I didn't think about beingshredded AF, you know.
I didn't think about like, oh,I want to be a bodybuilder, I
(03:08):
just wanted to be athletic.
I wanted to be physical, Iwanted to use my body.
I had been an athlete my wholelife but then, when I was using
drugs and alcohol, for 10 years,I didn't do anything physical,
I wasn't pushing my body.
And for me, I'm always just anathlete at heart, right?
I love to run, bike, swim, liftweights, do marathons, play
sports like.
That's just who I am.
That's a part of my coreidentity.
So when I started changing mylife, that's a part of my core
identity.
So when I started changing mylife, the two things that really
stood out were being moreoutgoing and charismatic.
I wanted to be able to walkinto a room and captivate
(03:29):
people's attention.
I wanted to be charismatic withtalking to girls, females,
family, friends.
I just saw the guys in movieswho played that role and I was
drawn to that.
I thought, man, that individualcaptures people's attention.
They make these people laugh,they bring a good energy into
the room.
I wanted to be like that.
And the second thing I thoughtabout was being educated.
Because I wasn't smart, likewhen I got incarcerated, I
(03:51):
thought I was just lackingintelligence.
I knew I was street smart, Iwas good in social settings,
making friends, but I had neverapplied myself in school and so
that was a limitation I had inmy self-image.
But once I started reading andwriting, my mind came alive and
my speed of thought, my memory,like those neurons, just started
firing man, I created newprograms in my brain.
So in a very short period oftime I believe that I was smart
(04:13):
and I could learn and educatemyself, and I was becoming more
comfortable being my true self,and that led to me being more
authentic and genuine andcharismatic.
So those were the two things Ifocused on the very beginning of
my transformation.
So my message when it comes tohaving a vision is like you
don't need to have your wholelife mapped out.
The bigger vision and yourcalling is going to emerge over
(04:34):
time when you start fixingwhat's right in front of you and
focusing on the things that youwant to change.
Focus on one to three things ata time, don't try to just
change your whole life overnight.
For some of you listening?
It might be you need to get inthe gym and lose that weight.
You know, maybe you need toread more and educate yourself.
I don't know, maybe you need toget sober.
Make a list.
What are those two, three, fourthings that you need to focus
on right now that you can startto change.
(04:55):
Once you start to implementthat change, I'm telling you
you're going to start to thinkabout your life and you're going
to start to get more clear onyour goals and your vision.
But a person without a visionwill always get lost and they
will always get sidetracked.
Just remember that If you don'thave a focus, if you're not
going to a specific point intothe future and a place you want
to be in life, you're nevergoing to get there.
If you don't have it defined,how are you going to get there?
(05:16):
You're going to get sidetracked, you're going to make excuses
and you're going to.
Second reason why people don'tachieve their goals is they have
negative self-talk and limitingbeliefs, and this kind of stems
from not having clarity aroundwho you want to be.
You know, if you know that youwant to be a better person, but
you're drinking, or if you'renot working out, you're out of
shape, you're just being a jerkto people like you're going to
(05:38):
have negative self-talk.
I once heard somebody say thatthe negative self-talk
individuals have is the mosthonest thing about themselves,
and it's kind of true.
Like when you're doing all theright stuff in your life and
you're on a good path and you'reimproving yourself every day
and you're giving your besteffort, you're not likely to
have as much negative self-talk.
We all have inner fears.
We're all going to experiencedoubt at some times.
(05:59):
But when you're really goingall in to be your best self and
again like that vision of whoyou wanna be every day, you're
striving to be that man, you'restriving to be that woman, that
negative self-talk is gonnastart to dissipate.
Okay, then, the further you getalong on your journey of taking
action and proving yourselfthose perceived limitations in
your life, you're gonna realizethat they're just figments of
your imagination and you'replacing these limitations on
(06:21):
yourself and in fact, you canbreak through them at any time
and prove them false.
Right, and that's a big aspectof transformation and living an
amazing life is facing yourfears and proving them false
through positive action.
We all have fears.
We all have these perceivedlimitations, whether it's around
the amount of money you canmake, the type of house you can
(06:41):
live in, the family that you canhave, the car that you could
drive, the career that you, ifyou give them credence right,
through non-action or by defaultbecause you don't go after
bigger goals right, does thatmake sense?
So your limitations only becomereal when you let them define
how you live your life.
(07:02):
But if you're willing to facethose fears and prove those
things false and break throughthose limitations, right, maybe
you become the first millionairein your family.
Maybe you become the firstcollege-educated member of your
family, first millionaire inyour family.
Maybe you become the firstcollege educated member of your
family.
Maybe, like me, you break thefamily curse that we had, the
crane curse, and you get soberand stay sober.
And now my kids grow up in ahousehold where there's no
(07:22):
alcohol, no drugs.
They don't even know what it isLike.
I broke through thoselimitations.
My dad couldn't do it, myuncles couldn't do it, my
cousins couldn't do it.
Like, they let thoselimitations define who they
became and they lived in thatworld of limitations where, oh,
we're just drunks, oh, we'rejust addicts, oh, this is just
what we do.
No screw that you couldredefine who you are and what
you do at any time.
(07:42):
Okay, now the third thing thatpeople struggle with and that's
just why they don't achievetheir goals is they're
inconsistent in the successfocused habits.
So for me, I've been getting upearly for the last 13 years, got
up at 4 am today, did what I'vedone for the last decade plus
have an hour of self-reflectionI pray, I meditate, I journal, I
(08:04):
read, and then I go to the gymand work out.
That's my morning routine.
That sets the tone for myentire day.
That gets my mind right.
That gets my energy right.
That that gets my mind right.
That gets my energy right.
That helps me to feel in abetter mood.
I'm more elevated.
So I bring that energy into theworld and that's a real big
reason why I've been able tocreate success.
Whether it's online coachingwith my wife as a father, it's
because the energy I'm bringinginto my interactions.
(08:24):
I'm bringing high-level energy.
I'm bringing love and gratitudefor the way that I'm living and
the things I'm doing into myrelationships and people feel
that and with business likebusiness, especially
entrepreneurship, and if you'rea business owner, it's just a
transfer of energy and it's allabout building relationships
with the right people andcreating win-win scenarios.
(08:47):
So for me, like I'm sober, I'mfit, I'm happy, I'm taking care
of myself, of course I'm goingto bring a good energy into the
rooms I enter, right, and Ilearned a long time ago that
that's the catalyst for success,whether it's money or
opportunity or whatever it isthat you want just more
fulfilling relationships, betterexperiences in life.
So if you're not consistent inyour daily habits and routines,
you're going to create moredoubt.
There's going to be thatnegative internal dialogue
because you're not doing thethings you know you should do.
(09:09):
That is going to have theopposite effect in your world
that I'm having, right.
So, like it's going to affectrelationships, it's going to
affect your opportunities.
You're going to bring in that,that self conscious energy,
through your body language whenyou enter into rooms.
You can't fake it, right.
So you have to recognize yourhabits over time are going to
either make or break you.
(09:29):
Number four this is a big onefor a lot of people vices and
pleasure-seeking behavior.
So drinking, using drugs, evenlike abusing food, or a lot of
guys are addicted to pornpleasure-seeking behavior, right
.
So those things are going tosabotage you over time.
I don't care if you're abusiness owner and you're
stressed out and you need adrink or you're just somebody
(09:52):
who's partying a lot.
Whatever it is.
When you're doing things thatgo against your best self and
who you want to be, it's goingto slow you down.
Eventually it's going to derailyou.
But like the person, like Isaid earlier, who has singular
focus on a goal and they'reobsessed, none of that stuff
fits into the equation.
That person gets ahead so fast.
That person has obsession overtheir goals.
So now they're relentless inthe daily habits and actions
that are going to get them there.
(10:13):
Their self-talk is going to bemore positive and optimistic
because they're doing the workevery day and they're moving
towards their goals.
Why would they stop now?
Why would they sabotagethemselves by going out and
getting hammered or using drugsor starting to develop these,
these like pleasure seekingbehaviors?
What I've learned is that whenyou're obsessed with a vision
and your goal focused andoriented, and all your habits
(10:34):
are building you up every day,you do not crave drugs and
alcohol.
You don't want to just besitting on your phone scrolling
all day.
You don't crave that sugary,crappy food that everyone's
addicted to, like the vices andthe things that come up as
desires and the strong urges inpeople that pull them off track.
That's a byproduct of you nothaving alignment, through your
goals, to your goals with youractions and self talk.
(10:55):
It happens.
It literally swells up fromwithin you and all of a sudden,
if you could trace it back, like, oh, what happened that day or
that week that led me to wantingto go out and get drunk or to
go binge eat or just to go sitaround all day and watch TV or
like to do something that you'regoing to regret, typically it
was you getting out of alignmenttowards your goals and like you
skip the jam or you know youwere just making bad decisions
(11:18):
and all of a sudden, now you'recraving something.
It happens all the time.
So if you want to be somebodythat is not a slave to your
cravings, you don't sabotageyourself.
It's literally about gettingcrystal clear on where you want
to go and aligning your dailyactions and thoughts to that
outcome.
Now, the fifth thing I want topoint out that really really
hampers people in their journeyto becoming their best selves
(11:41):
and living the ultimate life.
Like this is something that Ithink most people can relate to
it's.
You're scared of being judgedby other people and you're
worried about their opinions,and that's why you don't achieve
what you want in life.
You don't quit the job you hate, you don't make the radical
change you need to make, likeyou don't actually transform
yourself because all the peoplethat know you know you as a
certain version of yourself andonce you start changing, they
(12:01):
make comments, maybe even theyridicule you.
It's really insane how thishappens.
But if you have a family andeveryone drinks and smokes right
, like that's how I grew upUncles, cousins, parents and you
start getting sober, at firstthey might be like, oh, good job
, you know.
But then a couple weeks go byor a couple months go by and
they invite you out to the bar.
It's a Saturday night andeveryone's drinking and you
(12:22):
don't want to partake.
Now they're going to start tomake comments to you oh what?
Oh, there's like Johnny, he'stoo good to drink with us.
Like they start saying theseundermined, underhanded comments
that undermine you and what youwant to change.
And this goes for you knowmoney to or work like you.
You want to stop working thatnine to five you hate and your
whole family or all your friendswork the nine to fives and you
(12:45):
want to become a business owneror an entrepreneur, they're
going to start to clown you,right?
Oh, you can't do it.
Oh, man, that market saturated.
Oh, you can't do it.
Oh man, that market's saturated.
Oh, like what?
If you fail, people are going tojudge you, no matter what.
The harshest judgmentstypically come from the people
who are closest to you, and whatI'll tell you is this People
are going to judge you no matterwhat.
They're going to judge you ifyou get sober or if you stay
drunk.
They're going to judge you.
(13:06):
If you're fat and out of shapeor you go to the gym every day,
they're going to judge you ifyou eat a bunch of bad food or
if you eat nothing but cleanfood.
No matter what you do, peoplewill judge you, no matter what.
So make sure that you're makingthe change in your life that's
meaningful to you, right?
So when people judge you, it'sbecause you're doing the stuff
that's going to fulfill you andlead you to a better, more
productive life.
(13:26):
Down the road, you don't want toget to the end of your life and
look back and go oh man, youknow, I'm glad that I didn't
like change because I didn'twant to make those people not
like me.
But I didn't live the life Iwanted and I wish I had a second
chance.
Like that'll just wreck you andruin you.
Make sure, when you get to theend of your life, you're like
hell.
Yeah, I did everything I wantedto do.
I faced my fears.
You know, I think about me andguess what?
(13:48):
I always say this, but thepeople that truly care about you
, they're gonna be there by yourside and they're gonna support
you.
But at the end of the day, yougotta do what's right for you,
man, because you get to livethis life once Now.
Last thing I wanna share when itcomes to six reasons why people
don't achieve their goals isbecause they're scared to
uncomfortable.
You're letting your fear defineyou and how you live your life.
(14:11):
You're making decisions basedon fear and doubt, and when you
make decisions based on fear anddoubt, you'll never get what
you want.
When it comes to reallychanging your life and creating
a life by design and gettingexactly what you want, you got
to get out into that unknown,that's unpredictable, that's
unfamiliar to you, and you gotto go create that life Now.
For humans we do not like toget uncomfortable.
(14:33):
We would rather stay stuck inthe comfort zone of our lives,
where things aren't the way wewant them to be, where we have a
bunch of issues with our lives,versus getting out of that
unknown, where we can createsomething better, because it's
so uncomfortable for us.
How crazy is that?
So what I'll tell you is thatyour fear is not real unless you
allow it to define the way youlive.
Then it becomes real.
(14:54):
Then it's going to hinder andhamper your life At any moment.
You could choose to face yourfear, to get uncomfortable and
to go after the goals and thechanges that you want to make,
but it's going to cost you yourcomfort.
You're not going to feelpleasant or always elated in
that process.
You're going to be a littlescared, you're going to be put
under pressure, but thatpressure is what's going to
(15:14):
force you to grow and change.
And I would just tell you tolean into that feeling.
And the worst thing that couldever happen, right?
Oh my gosh.
You go out after your goals anddreams and it doesn't work out.
Well, at least you went afterit, right?
Imagine being the person thatnever knows, because you never
tried.
For the people that do get outof the unknown and go after
their goals and dreams.
It always works out for you.
The one time it doesn't go yourway, you find a way to make it
(15:36):
even better than you intended.
It always works out for thepeople that are willing to keep
moving forward, keep learningand keep growing.
It never works out for thepeople that stay stuck because
they're too scared to get out ofthat comfort zone.
And so those six things that Ijust share with you guys, if you
could start to correct a coupleof them in your life right now,
get clarity on who you want tobe.
Get clear on that vision andthat goal.
(15:57):
Cut out the negative self-talkeach and every day and recognize
that that negative dialogue isnot real.
It's not true.
You can face it any day andprove it falls through positive
action by creating the righthabits each and every day that
align to your vision and yourgoals.
Cut out the pleasure seekingbehavior, the toxic people.
Don't worry about being judged,because no matter what you do,
you're going to be judged.
So just ignore thoseindividuals and then let the
(16:20):
fear go and be willing to getout of your comfort zone and go
chase your dreams.
If you could focus on thosethings, I promise you, in five
years from now, you can have acompletely different life, one
that you truly love, not onethat you're sick and tired of
living.
When you have a singular focus on a goal or
outcome that you want to achieve, you can obsess over it, and
when you're obsessed you havethat tunnel vision.
Everything else gets cast aside.
The best advice I can give toanyone is just focus on one
freaking thing when it comes tobusiness and get obsessed over
it.
But a person without a visionwill always get lost and they
will always get sidetracked.
Just remember that If you don'thave a focus, if you're not
(00:20):
going to a specific point intothe future and a place you want
to be in life, you're nevergoing to get there.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Unstoppable Mindset
Podcast.
I'm your host, sean MichaelCrane.
Today's episode.
I want to share with you sixreasons people don't achieve
(00:43):
their goals in life.
This is really importantbecause I think a lot of times
on social media or podcasting,you'll hear people talk about
all the things you need to do tochange and improve.
Sometimes, when it comes tochanging, it's just as easy to
know what not to do as it isknowing what to do, and
sometimes it's easier to likecut things out of your life than
to focus on new things you haveto do, and sometimes it's
(01:05):
easier to like cut things out ofyour life than to focus on new
things you have to do.
Because anytime you open upspace by eliminating people, bad
habits, old ways of doingthings, it opens up space for
you to now integrate the rightway to do things, the right
people to be around, the rightway to spend your time.
And so it's just the way thebrain works.
You know, sometimes you don'tbelieve in your goals or your
future, all that stuff that youwant to achieve, but you do
(01:25):
understand what needs to happenright now in order for you to
improve your life Right.
But when I think about reasonswhy people don't change or why
they don't achieve their goals,the first thing that stands out
is they don't get clear on whatthey actually want.
And you'll hear people talkabout your vision or having
goals, and the brain does reallywell when you have detail right
(01:45):
, when you have a singular focuson a goal or outcome that you
want to achieve, you can obsessover it.
And when you're obsessed andyou have that tunnel vision,
everything else gets cast aside.
It's really easy to makedecisions.
You're more decisive, you'remore focused, you'll have more
energy.
It just is going to make itthat much more possible for you
to get to where you want to goRight.
(02:05):
But if you don't have yourgoals defined or your vision
clear in your mind, how the heckare you going to get there
Right?
And I see this happen a lot oftime to people.
They're really indecisive.
One day they want to be afreaking astronaut, the next day
they want to be an investor,then they want to be a UFC
fighter, then they want to fliphomes and be in real estate, and
Then they want to flip homesand be in real estate, and it's
just like they're all over theplace.
The best advice I can give toanyone is just focus on one
(02:27):
freaking thing when it comes tobusiness and get obsessed over
it.
And if you don't know what youwant to do in business, just
start working on yourself andget clear on who your ideal best
self would be Like.
Almost like you could sketchthat person out.
How would they dress?
What would their hair be like?
What would their physique belike?
What?
What would their hair be like?
What would their physique belike?
What were their mannerisms,their characteristics?
Like I remember, when I startedchanging my life in jail, I knew
(02:48):
that I wanted to be outgoingand charismatic.
I knew that I wanted to beeducated and, you know, being
fit, like.
I didn't think about beingshredded AF, you know.
I didn't think about like, oh,I want to be a bodybuilder, I
(03:08):
just wanted to be athletic.
I wanted to be physical, Iwanted to use my body.
I had been an athlete my wholelife but then, when I was using
drugs and alcohol, for 10 years,I didn't do anything physical,
I wasn't pushing my body.
And for me, I'm always just anathlete at heart, right?
I love to run, bike, swim, liftweights, do marathons, play
sports like.
That's just who I am.
That's a part of my coreidentity.
So when I started changing mylife, that's a part of my core
identity.
So when I started changing mylife, the two things that really
stood out were being moreoutgoing and charismatic.
I wanted to be able to walkinto a room and captivate
(03:29):
people's attention.
I wanted to be charismatic withtalking to girls, females,
family, friends.
I just saw the guys in movieswho played that role and I was
drawn to that.
I thought, man, that individualcaptures people's attention.
They make these people laugh,they bring a good energy into
the room.
I wanted to be like that.
And the second thing I thoughtabout was being educated.
Because I wasn't smart, likewhen I got incarcerated, I
(03:51):
thought I was just lackingintelligence.
I knew I was street smart, Iwas good in social settings,
making friends, but I had neverapplied myself in school and so
that was a limitation I had inmy self-image.
But once I started reading andwriting, my mind came alive and
my speed of thought, my memory,like those neurons, just started
firing man, I created newprograms in my brain.
So in a very short period oftime I believe that I was smart
(04:13):
and I could learn and educatemyself, and I was becoming more
comfortable being my true self,and that led to me being more
authentic and genuine andcharismatic.
So those were the two things Ifocused on the very beginning of
my transformation.
So my message when it comes tohaving a vision is like you
don't need to have your wholelife mapped out.
The bigger vision and yourcalling is going to emerge over
(04:34):
time when you start fixingwhat's right in front of you and
focusing on the things that youwant to change.
Focus on one to three things ata time, don't try to just
change your whole life overnight.
For some of you listening?
It might be you need to get inthe gym and lose that weight.
You know, maybe you need toread more and educate yourself.
I don't know, maybe you need toget sober.
Make a list.
What are those two, three, fourthings that you need to focus
on right now that you can startto change.
(04:55):
Once you start to implementthat change, I'm telling you
you're going to start to thinkabout your life and you're going
to start to get more clear onyour goals and your vision.
But a person without a visionwill always get lost and they
will always get sidetracked.
Just remember that If you don'thave a focus, if you're not
going to a specific point intothe future and a place you want
to be in life, you're nevergoing to get there.
If you don't have it defined,how are you going to get there?
(05:16):
You're going to get sidetracked, you're going to make excuses
and you're going to.
Second reason why people don'tachieve their goals is they have
negative self-talk and limitingbeliefs, and this kind of stems
from not having clarity aroundwho you want to be.
You know, if you know that youwant to be a better person, but
you're drinking, or if you'renot working out, you're out of
shape, you're just being a jerkto people like you're going to
(05:38):
have negative self-talk.
I once heard somebody say thatthe negative self-talk
individuals have is the mosthonest thing about themselves,
and it's kind of true.
Like when you're doing all theright stuff in your life and
you're on a good path and you'reimproving yourself every day
and you're giving your besteffort, you're not likely to
have as much negative self-talk.
We all have inner fears.
We're all going to experiencedoubt at some times.
(05:59):
But when you're really goingall in to be your best self and
again like that vision of whoyou wanna be every day, you're
striving to be that man, you'restriving to be that woman, that
negative self-talk is gonnastart to dissipate.
Okay, then, the further you getalong on your journey of taking
action and proving yourselfthose perceived limitations in
your life, you're gonna realizethat they're just figments of
your imagination and you'replacing these limitations on
(06:21):
yourself and in fact, you canbreak through them at any time
and prove them false.
Right, and that's a big aspectof transformation and living an
amazing life is facing yourfears and proving them false
through positive action.
We all have fears.
We all have these perceivedlimitations, whether it's around
the amount of money you canmake, the type of house you can
(06:41):
live in, the family that you canhave, the car that you could
drive, the career that you, ifyou give them credence right,
through non-action or by defaultbecause you don't go after
bigger goals right, does thatmake sense?
So your limitations only becomereal when you let them define
how you live your life.
(07:02):
But if you're willing to facethose fears and prove those
things false and break throughthose limitations, right, maybe
you become the first millionairein your family.
Maybe you become the firstcollege-educated member of your
family, first millionaire inyour family.
Maybe you become the firstcollege educated member of your
family.
Maybe, like me, you break thefamily curse that we had, the
crane curse, and you get soberand stay sober.
And now my kids grow up in ahousehold where there's no
(07:22):
alcohol, no drugs.
They don't even know what it isLike.
I broke through thoselimitations.
My dad couldn't do it, myuncles couldn't do it, my
cousins couldn't do it.
Like, they let thoselimitations define who they
became and they lived in thatworld of limitations where, oh,
we're just drunks, oh, we'rejust addicts, oh, this is just
what we do.
No screw that you couldredefine who you are and what
you do at any time.
(07:42):
Okay, now the third thing thatpeople struggle with and that's
just why they don't achievetheir goals is they're
inconsistent in the successfocused habits.
So for me, I've been getting upearly for the last 13 years, got
up at 4 am today, did what I'vedone for the last decade plus
have an hour of self-reflectionI pray, I meditate, I journal, I
(08:04):
read, and then I go to the gymand work out.
That's my morning routine.
That sets the tone for myentire day.
That gets my mind right.
That gets my energy right.
That that gets my mind right.
That gets my energy right.
That helps me to feel in abetter mood.
I'm more elevated.
So I bring that energy into theworld and that's a real big
reason why I've been able tocreate success.
Whether it's online coachingwith my wife as a father, it's
because the energy I'm bringinginto my interactions.
(08:24):
I'm bringing high-level energy.
I'm bringing love and gratitudefor the way that I'm living and
the things I'm doing into myrelationships and people feel
that and with business likebusiness, especially
entrepreneurship, and if you'rea business owner, it's just a
transfer of energy and it's allabout building relationships
with the right people andcreating win-win scenarios.
(08:47):
So for me, like I'm sober, I'mfit, I'm happy, I'm taking care
of myself, of course I'm goingto bring a good energy into the
rooms I enter, right, and Ilearned a long time ago that
that's the catalyst for success,whether it's money or
opportunity or whatever it isthat you want just more
fulfilling relationships, betterexperiences in life.
So if you're not consistent inyour daily habits and routines,
you're going to create moredoubt.
There's going to be thatnegative internal dialogue
because you're not doing thethings you know you should do.
(09:09):
That is going to have theopposite effect in your world
that I'm having, right.
So, like it's going to affectrelationships, it's going to
affect your opportunities.
You're going to bring in that,that self conscious energy,
through your body language whenyou enter into rooms.
You can't fake it, right.
So you have to recognize yourhabits over time are going to
either make or break you.
(09:29):
Number four this is a big onefor a lot of people vices and
pleasure-seeking behavior.
So drinking, using drugs, evenlike abusing food, or a lot of
guys are addicted to pornpleasure-seeking behavior, right
.
So those things are going tosabotage you over time.
I don't care if you're abusiness owner and you're
stressed out and you need adrink or you're just somebody
(09:52):
who's partying a lot.
Whatever it is.
When you're doing things thatgo against your best self and
who you want to be, it's goingto slow you down.
Eventually it's going to derailyou.
But like the person, like Isaid earlier, who has singular
focus on a goal and they'reobsessed, none of that stuff
fits into the equation.
That person gets ahead so fast.
That person has obsession overtheir goals.
So now they're relentless inthe daily habits and actions
that are going to get them there.
(10:13):
Their self-talk is going to bemore positive and optimistic
because they're doing the workevery day and they're moving
towards their goals.
Why would they stop now?
Why would they sabotagethemselves by going out and
getting hammered or using drugsor starting to develop these,
these like pleasure seekingbehaviors?
What I've learned is that whenyou're obsessed with a vision
and your goal focused andoriented, and all your habits
(10:34):
are building you up every day,you do not crave drugs and
alcohol.
You don't want to just besitting on your phone scrolling
all day.
You don't crave that sugary,crappy food that everyone's
addicted to, like the vices andthe things that come up as
desires and the strong urges inpeople that pull them off track.
That's a byproduct of you nothaving alignment, through your
goals, to your goals with youractions and self talk.
(10:55):
It happens.
It literally swells up fromwithin you and all of a sudden,
if you could trace it back, like, oh, what happened that day or
that week that led me to wantingto go out and get drunk or to
go binge eat or just to go sitaround all day and watch TV or
like to do something that you'regoing to regret, typically it
was you getting out of alignmenttowards your goals and like you
skip the jam or you know youwere just making bad decisions
(11:18):
and all of a sudden, now you'recraving something.
It happens all the time.
So if you want to be somebodythat is not a slave to your
cravings, you don't sabotageyourself.
It's literally about gettingcrystal clear on where you want
to go and aligning your dailyactions and thoughts to that
outcome.
Now, the fifth thing I want topoint out that really really
hampers people in their journeyto becoming their best selves
(11:41):
and living the ultimate life.
Like this is something that Ithink most people can relate to
it's.
You're scared of being judgedby other people and you're
worried about their opinions,and that's why you don't achieve
what you want in life.
You don't quit the job you hate, you don't make the radical
change you need to make, likeyou don't actually transform
yourself because all the peoplethat know you know you as a
certain version of yourself andonce you start changing, they
(12:01):
make comments, maybe even theyridicule you.
It's really insane how thishappens.
But if you have a family andeveryone drinks and smokes right
, like that's how I grew upUncles, cousins, parents and you
start getting sober, at firstthey might be like, oh, good job
, you know.
But then a couple weeks go byor a couple months go by and
they invite you out to the bar.
It's a Saturday night andeveryone's drinking and you
(12:22):
don't want to partake.
Now they're going to start tomake comments to you oh what?
Oh, there's like Johnny, he'stoo good to drink with us.
Like they start saying theseundermined, underhanded comments
that undermine you and what youwant to change.
And this goes for you knowmoney to or work like you.
You want to stop working thatnine to five you hate and your
whole family or all your friendswork the nine to fives and you
(12:45):
want to become a business owneror an entrepreneur, they're
going to start to clown you,right?
Oh, you can't do it.
Oh, man, that market saturated.
Oh, you can't do it.
Oh man, that market's saturated.
Oh, like what?
If you fail, people are going tojudge you, no matter what.
The harshest judgmentstypically come from the people
who are closest to you, and whatI'll tell you is this People
are going to judge you no matterwhat.
They're going to judge you ifyou get sober or if you stay
drunk.
They're going to judge you.
(13:06):
If you're fat and out of shapeor you go to the gym every day,
they're going to judge you ifyou eat a bunch of bad food or
if you eat nothing but cleanfood.
No matter what you do, peoplewill judge you, no matter what.
So make sure that you're makingthe change in your life that's
meaningful to you, right?
So when people judge you, it'sbecause you're doing the stuff
that's going to fulfill you andlead you to a better, more
productive life.
(13:26):
Down the road, you don't want toget to the end of your life and
look back and go oh man, youknow, I'm glad that I didn't
like change because I didn'twant to make those people not
like me.
But I didn't live the life Iwanted and I wish I had a second
chance.
Like that'll just wreck you andruin you.
Make sure, when you get to theend of your life, you're like
hell.
Yeah, I did everything I wantedto do.
I faced my fears.
You know, I think about me andguess what?
(13:48):
I always say this, but thepeople that truly care about you
, they're gonna be there by yourside and they're gonna support
you.
But at the end of the day, yougotta do what's right for you,
man, because you get to livethis life once Now.
Last thing I wanna share when itcomes to six reasons why people
don't achieve their goals isbecause they're scared to
uncomfortable.
You're letting your fear defineyou and how you live your life.
(14:11):
You're making decisions basedon fear and doubt, and when you
make decisions based on fear anddoubt, you'll never get what
you want.
When it comes to reallychanging your life and creating
a life by design and gettingexactly what you want, you got
to get out into that unknown,that's unpredictable, that's
unfamiliar to you, and you gotto go create that life Now.
For humans we do not like toget uncomfortable.
(14:33):
We would rather stay stuck inthe comfort zone of our lives,
where things aren't the way wewant them to be, where we have a
bunch of issues with our lives,versus getting out of that
unknown, where we can createsomething better, because it's
so uncomfortable for us.
How crazy is that?
So what I'll tell you is thatyour fear is not real unless you
allow it to define the way youlive.
Then it becomes real.
(14:54):
Then it's going to hinder andhamper your life At any moment.
You could choose to face yourfear, to get uncomfortable and
to go after the goals and thechanges that you want to make,
but it's going to cost you yourcomfort.
You're not going to feelpleasant or always elated in
that process.
You're going to be a littlescared, you're going to be put
under pressure, but thatpressure is what's going to
(15:14):
force you to grow and change.
And I would just tell you tolean into that feeling.
And the worst thing that couldever happen, right?
Oh my gosh.
You go out after your goals anddreams and it doesn't work out.
Well, at least you went afterit, right?
Imagine being the person thatnever knows, because you never
tried.
For the people that do get outof the unknown and go after
their goals and dreams.
It always works out for you.
The one time it doesn't go yourway, you find a way to make it
(15:36):
even better than you intended.
It always works out for thepeople that are willing to keep
moving forward, keep learningand keep growing.
It never works out for thepeople that stay stuck because
they're too scared to get out ofthat comfort zone.
And so those six things that Ijust share with you guys, if you
could start to correct a coupleof them in your life right now,
get clarity on who you want tobe.
Get clear on that vision andthat goal.
(15:57):
Cut out the negative self-talkeach and every day and recognize
that that negative dialogue isnot real.
It's not true.
You can face it any day andprove it falls through positive
action by creating the righthabits each and every day that
align to your vision and yourgoals.
Cut out the pleasure seekingbehavior, the toxic people.
Don't worry about being judged,because no matter what you do,
you're going to be judged.
So just ignore thoseindividuals and then let the
(16:20):
fear go and be willing to getout of your comfort zone and go
chase your dreams.
If you could focus on thosethings, I promise you, in five
years from now, you can have acompletely different life, one
that you truly love, not onethat you're sick and tired of
living.
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