June 29, 2025 • 43 mins
Steve Lowe returns for a raw and deeply moving chat about his wild years in Sydney’s Kings Cross nightclub scene and the final chapter of his life. From velvet ropes and outlaw bikies to his ‘last dance’ party and terminal diagnosis, Steve reflects on it all with heart, humour, and zero regrets.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Approache Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the
Muscle Commons, and.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
In this episode I speak to Steve Low, a long
time insider with a complex history of the Crosses nightclub scene.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It was a part of our lives that we were
very fortunate to have. I think I look back at
it with such fondness. My colors are different now.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I don't like going out normal hard to me, it's
what are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
A few of them have wheelchair access.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It was always a lot skinny kid that if you
become the big dormant, you know, push your finger into
any one of your pecks, or if he does it again,
anything to get a slapped. Next minute, this kid gets
slapped and you just go, oh my god, I missed that.
And then in December last year, I was diagnosed with cancer.
This conversation might go out after I've gone, in which
case it will be even more of a celebration of
my life.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Mister Steve Low, thank you for coming on. This is
the second time you've been on. Made you welcome anything
for you, but I wanted you on to refresh this
and as I said, you know, we've got a few
of the things that we need to talk about.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
As well in your life at the moment.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But I wanted to refresh this interview with you because
you know, at the time it was I was new
to the podcast scene, and I think this is a
right time now to do a refresh of your life
and get it out there a bit more, mate.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I mean the first time it was We're in a
dark studio somewhere in Chippindale with his dodgy address, and
I was like, fucking he Christ, I'm sure I own
no money. No, no, no, I don't know him any money.
And then Sal was there, he was he was sort
of seeing the whole sort of thing. Yeah, and we had, mate,
we had a great laugh, Yeah we did. We had
a really good laugh. But now it's sort of you've
(01:49):
grown up, yes, and I think it's really good and
what you've been doing with your podcast, mate, we've won
awards for it if you're doing a great job with it.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And of course, and we'll come back when you ask
me to thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You, thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So let's let's get into you growing up, growing up,
growing up, and what led you.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
To go down the path of the Make Life World.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Girls What girls?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Girls what mate?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Whenever you went, mate.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But if you're standing in the front door of a nightclub,
you're going to poor girls, mate. You got to poor girls.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You pull them at school.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I went to a private boys school, so that was
a whole different sort of pulling.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But I'm not going to go down. I'm not going
to talk about that one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But yeah, I mean growing up and sitting in the
eighties on the North Shore, there was nowhere to go
out at the green Gate Hotel. I discovered nightclubs in
the Cross and Oxford Street and I was just going,
this is fucking unreal. You know, you were meeting people,
You're listening to great music, and I just fell in
love with nightclubs and all I wanted to do is
(02:51):
they to be at them or work at them. So
the first gig that I got was on the door
of the Caldron Nightclub and that was an infamous club
back in.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
The security were doing.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
But like I was a dormant, Oh really, yeah, I
was a dominant like you. But back in those days
we didn't have security. You just had to look cool
and in house and be able to speak the right
things and back in those days, it was all the
gangsters in their sharkskin suits with their you know, with
their money and stuff like that. And these guys that
come in Friday nights at the Caldron would be like
(03:20):
the girlfriend's nights, where all the gangsters and all the
colorful racing identities to bring their girlfriends. In Saturday nights
they brought their wives in. Nice to see you back again,
you know, all that sort of stuff. But I actually
absolutely loved it, absolutely loved it. And then I ended
up being the general manager of the club for a
while and it was just like for me, it was
just heaven. And then I kind of took a break
(03:41):
from it and went off and did other things in
my life. I was a photographer for a very long time,
so I did a lot of that, and then I
kind of got back into it again.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It just lured me back in, you know, the love
of a nightclub.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Were you a passing boy when you first started that?
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Not really, No, not really.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I didn't discover all that's the fun side of it
until much later because it was just sort of like
people that drink champagne and smoke cigarettes. So I did
a little bit of coke, but you don't even know
where to get it from back in these days. But yeah,
it was just more. It was just more the music.
Getting dressed up, you know, you had to put it on,
a nice outfit to go out and being a dominant
(04:19):
one of the callers night clubs in town was like,
you know, it wasn't your name's not on the guest's
not coming in the door.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It's like, didn't like the look of you. You weren't
coming in, and you'd have a crowd of like.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
One hundred and fifty people go pick me, pick me,
and pick me, and I go, You're all right, you're
all right, you're hot, You're hot, you're hot in you go?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
But why can't I get it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Mate?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Look what you're wearing? Pull yourself together? What do you
want to do? You want to pick up girls?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Here?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Look at the girls that I'm letting in here. Do
you think you're going to hook up with them dressed
like that?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
What's wrong with it? I just I just bought this.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Suit from Killy Country, mate, Try something else, Try a
different tag.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Is you put it?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
If I go home and change, we let me in, sure,
no problem.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Three hours Maybe the same guy walks up in a
suit and he goes I got changed and I said, Mante,
come in, let me buy you a drink. Let me
a drink. And that was back in the days when
I first met John, because John was driving for Bill
Baout and Bill used to love coming into the cauldroom
because it wasn't on the mainstream of the Cross. John
Darling has road and John to drop him off and go,
(05:16):
so to give me a bit of Anne and go
all right, just waving him and John and take it off.
But Bill's down at the front door. He was an
absolute gentleman. Stand at the front door. We'd have a
bit of a chat like this, a little bit like
Dracula directly might walk over your door, your door heart frame,
and to invite him in. So Bill and I would
just stand there and he'd just kind of like, Bill,
would you like to come in for a drink? That'd
be lovely. Steve, thank you so much, Walk into the bar,
(05:38):
get in a Scotch and he was always great. Steve,
come down to the Cosmopolitan for a coffee. And if
anybody knows the Cross, they know what the cosin Pultan
Cafe was. That's where it all happened. Come and have
your picture taken, Come and have you a picture taken.
I was like, all right, mate, no problem. But for
me it was just great fun. It was just really
really good fun. And then after the Calldron I did
(05:58):
the head of the door at Reva, which is the
Sheridan on the Park hotel. That was cool. We had
like Madonna like headsets and we all looked really scary
and tough. But then that was when we started to
bring in a lot of security because a lot of
a lot of the naughty boys thought, well, I'm going
to nightclubs. Why I still in the clubhouse at in
Penrith when I can go to a cool night club
and you know, flash my cash around. So that's when
they needed hardcore security. And you would have found it
(06:21):
too on Oxford Street with DCM and all that sort
of stuff. And then after doing Rever I sort of
took some time off and John asked me if I'd
be interested in doing the Door of Lady Lucks, which
was a great little club. It was a tiny little
dive of a place in Rolls of the Street, one
hundred and seventy capacity. There were times I have three
hundred people, It was.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Never seventy in that class. I don't care what you saying.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
There were times I over three hundred people in there
and the cops were worked by the eye steel All good, yeah, mane,
no brother, no roy, just as long as you can
kind of move around, you know, like shoulder to shoulder.
But we had such good times, really good times. And
that was when I kind of started working with Giant
because he was like, going, mate, you're really doing a
good job. We need clean skins to be lights and seeds.
(07:05):
I was like, sure, I'll do that. You know. So
what was involved, you know, basic little course, the coppers
that check you out going to a good private school.
I didn't have any parking tickets, as beating funds, no,
no identities, you know, nothing like that. So I became
a licensee of a few of jobs. Was that more
pressure though, No, there was no pressure at all. It
was just an offer and I was like, sure, why not.
(07:26):
I mean, as long as you don't do anything naughty,
everything's fine. Everybody loves you, and as a licensee, you
can't get into trouble because you're holding the nightclub under
your control. Because it was now they're just doing it
through company names and some sort of bullshit Holding company
or whatever. But back then, or an approved manager, which
is usually the glassy, but back then, the licensee. You
(07:51):
had your name over the door. That was I mean,
you were responsible for everything that happened in the place. God,
we had some fun.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well that's what I met you. Yeah, you look exactly friends.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, exactly right, because you would come into the christ
from time to time, but mostly you're up at DC
and might come and see you after work if I
had them a night off. I remember.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I remember John put me at Lady Looks for about
six months. He was having a bit of trouble on
the door. Yeah, I remember, because it was.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Really cool and all the naughty boys when they come in,
so you just stand there and you go, yeah nah
na na.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'll be going, what's on with him?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Steve? Just don't explain to you you can't come.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
In all right?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Then? Okay, And it all started to click, you know,
like when you put a key into a Wholeay okay.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
And then after later.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Because I got roped into being the licensee of good
but yes, that's that was a huge mistake. Even the
cops came up to me, Steve, what are you doing? Man? Listen?
This is not You've got a good reputation around town,
and it's probably not a good idea that you'd be
doing this. And I was just like why. And then
one night I was sitting in the office and all
(08:57):
the bar stuff came in behind him into the office.
I was like, you guys doing good. I think you
better get out there. I walked out and there's about
eight guys wearing full outlawd motorcycle game patch, leather jacket
things standing at the bar. I said, that place it
emptied out. I said, gentlemen, how can I help you?
And they went royal salute, Shiver's royal salute. Coke beautiful.
(09:18):
Put them all a drink like that, it's all on camera.
Put them all the drink, save them a drink, had
a bit of a chat with them. Would you like
another drink? Points? Oh, we like that, Thank you so much.
And I said, was the anything else that I can
do for it? Any idea? How long you guys are
being here for you? He said, I will just finish
our drinks and we'll be on our way. You tell
the boys that we were here, And I was like, sure,
(09:39):
no problem. I was shitting myself, literally shitting myself anyway.
So they left and next minute the whole of Oxford
Tree shut down with all these cars and stuff. And
I'm talking to the local area commander who knew me
from the criss Now, I go, yeah, right, because what
do they want? I said, I've got no idea, but
something to do with one of the owners. And he
(10:02):
goes right, and they were standing beside him was this
young and you're comfortable junior comfortable chick. And she turned
me she goes, where do they part their motorbikes? And
I said, what, babe? And she looked at me, babe,
excuse me, you don't call me babe. I'm comfortable, all right, comfortable.
They don't ride motorbikes. They ride range rovers, they ride BMW's,
(10:26):
they ride mescedis, amgs. They don't ride motorbikes. Of them
don't even have a license or could ride one. And
that was kind of that's where the Nike bike whole
thing came in, because all they did was were nikes,
and they drove around the stolen vehicles that they're just
you know, probably the owners of the stolen vehicles were
in the booth. Half Iver knew. I never knew, so
that was kind of when the police said, Steve, oh,
(10:48):
you a good idea for you know, maybe sort of
step away from doing that. And I was like all right.
And then a made of mind Scott Robertson, who's got
great reputation with his promotions and events and stuff like that.
He owns Glass Island, and he said, well, there's a
space up on Oxford Street. It's available for rent. You
want to do it? And I was like okay. So
I told John, I said, look, I'm going to take
(11:10):
this space. I know it used to be one of
your ones, but you know, you caught that. You go, Steve,
You've got my best wishes. And I was like okay.
So I started pouring money into it, of my own
money and Scott Porter's and money in it, and we
opened it up and then it kind of became sort
of well John would say it was one of his
clubs and that was never mind, Yeah, never mind.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
And it was a great club.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It was you know, it was doing really really good
things for the community on Oxford Street. It was a
tough go because we had a havana next door, which
he worked out for a lot for a while, and
it was just you know, the combination of young kids
and gangsters and strippers. I think that just didn't work.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It didn't help you because all the d CM's crowd
came up, Yeah, and they were they went the old
school of d CM's crowd. They were a bit disrespectful
and all like that. So it was hard for your
very disrespectuse. It was hard for your daughter, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
But we managed to get a really good door team together,
a really good door team together. But they were all
you know, directed to by John, which is fine, and
everything went well, you know, everything went really well. But
after after four and a half years nearly five years
with nightclubs, you either you either change them out, you
renovate them again, putting a slap of paint on them
and mareenaunch them is another name, like they've just recently
(12:16):
done with arc and called it Aura or something. I haven't.
I haven't been there. I'll go and have a look
because you know, I'm still friends with one of the
open Dave. But it's night clubs are different now, you know,
they're not.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
They're not the well I don't like going out normal
hard to me. To me, it's you old, what.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Are you talking about a few of them have wheelchair access.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just don't like the scene anymore. To me, it's
a different thing. The drugs are different, the kids are different.
Like they're one of the licensees of Club seventy seven
a year or so two years ago pass this thing
where you couldn't you weren't allowed to look at a
patron for too long, and it was all about this
sort of consent thing where you know, you can't walk
(12:59):
up to a girl and say, hey, Bob, you're going
to buy you a drink.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
That shit doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You have to you can't look at them for too
long if you're invading their personal space, and it's like,
oh please, I'd rather stay at home and drink a
bottle of tequila and invite some friends over.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
It's just not what.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
It used to be.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
The client sell that's going on is ugly. There's no
restrictions any of them are where you can't say no
to them. It's just like they can come in what
they want exactly, and I just yeah, exactly. And then
you know there's there's no like dress code. I mean,
I mean you could probably pull it up, pulled crocs off.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
These days.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I mean, you know, when you start to think about
what the kids are wearing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And I just think, you know, if you want to
go to if you want to go to Nclobs, Europe's
place to go for nightclubs, well.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I even go out of state now to Melbourne. Know
if I want to go for a.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Week Melbourne, Queensland. You know, great clubs, you haven't good fun.
Everybody gets dressed up to go out, but it is
fun when it is fine. And so then it was
just sort of like, you know, we had great success
with the nightclub and then I just sort of went,
you know, I'm done with nightclubs.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
It gets different.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Drugs come in, like GBH was coming in, so everybody
was just drinking, you know, post mix and soft drinks
and stuff like that. I was running when my people
weren't buy any booths because it affected the drugs that
they were taking. And I just felt no point not
renewing the least, not doing anything like that. I'm out.
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I had a great time.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
It was enough for me. It was enough for me.
But what great fun. You know, I don't look back
at any of it with any regret or I didn't
fuck over anybody. Nobody fucked me over. I had a
fantastic time. I made some great mates, some long term
friendships like you and I. And you know, if you
and I walking down the street together, people look at
go I was that guy bodyguarding that little skinny rather
(14:43):
than you and I being mates going for a drink
or game for steak or something. You know, and the
whole sort of world has changed from that perspective. People
see you and they go, you know, judging books by others.
You might be the size of the house, but you're
a big baby to me. Whenever I see ye.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
How'd you think that you could get the nate life
seen back? You don't think you could.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I don't think it's I don't think can I think
they're I mean, look at the kids these days. They've
got no respect and they're entitled. They're going to be
the ones looking after its when we're old and old
and dying. It's a bit of worry. I don't see
that the nightlife. They they're not going to pay forteen
dollars for a bocusoda back when we were paying six
fifty europe. You know, when it went to eight bucks,
you almost sort of protesting the streets. These kids can't
(15:28):
afford that. You go to a bartle service for a
thousand bars. A round of drinks for four people is
going to cost you two hundred bucks. Stay at home
by the bottle, have house parties, which is seemingly what
they're doing more and more and more and more. And
the house part you are great till midnight. If you
want to go out, you go out. Otherwise you just
go home.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
What about the Cross? Do you ever think the Crossover now?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
The Cross is too gentrified now, which is what the
whole plan of it was probably fifteen years ago when
it all started to close down, and I think John
was behind a lot of that. He wanted to turn
it into residential, residential, which is what he's doing now
with the da that he's been a pre for Basewater Road.
I think it's awesome. I don't think night clubs need
to be there anymore. I mean, really, who's going to
(16:11):
pay a thousand bucks to sit out of booth in
a nightclub unless they're all bikes tattered up bikeers that
want to spend you know, spend the herd owned cave.
Nobody's got that sort of money or do they want
to spend it. There's way better things, you know, dinner's restaurant.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
It's just a shame because, as I said, when I
went for a walk down the cross and I've seen,
you know, the likes of Soho Porky's, they're bourbon, they're
all closed out, they're just padlocks over the doors.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Who owns the buildings anymore? Who knows? Who knows?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
But so Especially man, how good was that back in
the day.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
And now it just looks like he's got you know,
electricity bills stuck under the door type thing, you know,
and the big do not enter enter padlock. This premises
has been seized by liquidators, and you just think, fuck Noll.
There was so many opportunities. You could go from club
to club, the club, the club, the club's a club, like, oh,
there's this DJ's playing over here. We'll be there in
(17:03):
ten minutes. And you didn't have to pay twenty five
thirty dollars forty dollars fifty bucks to get in the door.
You got him because you look cool and the guy
at the front door, and you make it in there quick,
have a great time. It was a part of our
lives that we were very fortunate to have. I think
we had a great time and I look back at
it with such fondness, such fondness, and I think I
(17:26):
think you do as well. I mean, I sent you,
I sent you a little meme video the other day.
Back in the old days when it was always att
skiddy kid that had kick on the big dormant and
start telling me he was a lawyer and it was
on his and then he pushed you push your finger
into into one of your pecks, and you go, all right,
if he does it again, anything to get a slapped.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Next minute, this kid getting slapped, and you just go,
oh my god, I missed that.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I missed that, because you know, if you did that now,
there's talent of phones around there.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Oh yeah, man, the wall camera, there's cameras everywhere. There's
a thousand phones. Next minute you're at silver Water and
Raman and going he hit me first. Yeah, you know,
but it's it's things have changed. Things have changed, and
I don't think it'll ever go back to that. I
think the people are more and more going to want
have parties. I've got everybody's building man caves and I've
been to some Maytales Is. They're like their own nightclubs.
(18:15):
You know, they've got the DJ boat and they've bing
the DJ's and have parties there. Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
What'd you say your best venue? You've looked at the.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Lady Lucks. Lady Lucks from the fun of the Actually, no,
I'm going to go back. The Calldroom was so much
fun because it was the eighties and nineties. Everybody had
a great time. I looked back with such fondness for that.
I was young, I was cool, you know, all that
sort of stuff. Then Lady Lux was really great for
me because it was a whole new new vibe. That
(18:43):
girl's hotter.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
When I used to turn up there, I used to
see you and you you're just in your element, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
My element, absolutely my element, having the absolutely the best time,
best time. And you know, I'd also be managing the
place as well. I remember one night the place is
absolutely pumping with people, jam packed, and I would do
skins of the tills. Yeah, so I go till number
one was pocket number one, till number two is pocket
number two, till number three was pocket number three, and
(19:11):
I would just take out you know, fifties, hundreds and
all that sort of stuff, so that you know the
kids that were stealing were going to steal too much.
I'm standing out the front of the club and I
was chatting a man with one of the local licensing
policemen and he's like, oh you you come. He come
the guys and the jack boots with the dogs. They
walked down the street. Next minute, the dogs sat down
next to me and my police officer, Steve Police tell me,
(19:33):
you've got nothing on you, and I've got me never anyway,
they walked me around the little the little alleyway side
corner and made me empty my pockets. I had probably
fifteen thousand dollars in cash from a nightclub.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
That shit's dirty, right.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, the thing that the people have done forezing tests
on notes that have come through bar Hill and at nightclubs.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
And the dog are going all over the money and no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That's still number one, that's your number two, that's number three.
Don't don't fuck it up. It's going to make my night.
And they were all the all the cops are pissing
themselves laughing. So and then they put it into plastic
bags that no, no, no, no, you're not seizing it.
You know where it came from. We'll go back inside.
I put it in the save and we're worried about it.
On Monday, when I've counted it all all right, Steve,
and if you've got ink, should we m be had
(20:24):
interview other pockets? I said, oh god, no, it's probably
all over me.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
But you know, it was sometimes like that that you
just you look back and you go, how did I
get away with it?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And John is to say, Steve, your your smiley face
gets you, gets you out of some sticky spots. And
a lot of the time they were the guys that
come in, the naughty boys that come in. They near me,
they'd show me updods, respect, rolly sleeves down all right,
coming on public tattoos and stuff. They just wanted nice
out with their girls. They didn't want to be in
the cross, so Oxford Street was a better option for them.
(20:59):
They loved it. You know, I look after them, they'll
go after me.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Well, I think you have that respect. Yeah, definitely seen
that respect when I I used to see it. Lady
looks good.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Bar was a hard, hard place for you because you
would still get that respect, but then you'd still get
that clientele came in and didn't know who you were exactly.
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And then I moved over to doing the door I
for you goes the boys that the boys that he
across said, come on, Stevie, you sort of send me
retired out there, want to come and do the to
you guys, And I'm on top of the stairs, absolutely unreal,
this would be great. So I had my v P line.
Everybody else is like this. I had a great time.
(21:36):
I had a really really good time. And the naughty
boys that coming there, and you know, we all knew
the naughty boys were and they'd be in the naughty corner,
and the hot girls are coming, they go straight to
the naughty corner. But that Hugos was great because it
was separated into your dance floor area, your bar area.
You could smoke on the balcony. My god, like the
last time I went up there, because some mates of
(21:56):
ours have reopened it as Pelicano I think. And so
I let up a cigarette on the balcony. I've been
smoking on the balcony Hugos for like, yeah, it's twenty years.
I mean, you know you can't smoke it.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I'm like, what the and then just answers your question,
where is it gone?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Where are the ashtrays?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Because I remember when you wear it, he goes, and
I remember that the dormano used to look at me
because they knew who I was. It was like it
was only Tony, Yeah, Big Tony would always go like, no, Neil,
You're always welcome, but you were Dorman didn't know who like, yeah,
they just know who I was.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Kid, I mean, and I remember seeing you at the
top and you just went and you started hooking me.
It's like this, no, and you go through me.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
It's like but what I used to get is I
used to get a lot of the naughty boys wives Okay,
come in and I knew them all, and they'd come
up to VIP with the twenty thousand dollars handbags and
all that sort of stuff, and they go from the
Corey but their husbands. Because I always made sure that
the girls were looked after and there was no guys
had come up to them. They always put a security
(22:55):
go on them just to make sure the girls had
a nice time. And I got a load of respects
unbeknownst to me from the husbands of these girls, which
was really nice. And you know, traveling around the world
and you know the wise go Stevia and Greece coming
up with that. My husband and I and I'd be like,
oh my god, fucking oh it's you know, the chapter
(23:16):
of this and the chapter of that, in the chapter
of the chapter of that, you know, Montreal, Quebec, Greece, Adforts.
He's just going, oh, fuck, but this but it was
part of my wealth for such a long time and
I had I don't look back on it with any regrets.
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
So that So that was your favorite club? So what
what did you do after you thought the mate life
was over for you?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I got at the hospitality from a cafe perspective. My
wife and I bought a cafe in Paddington and it
had a great time doing it. It wasn't easy, and
then COVID hit, didn't it. COVID shutdown fucking everything. And
I then went into catering, like cooking and all that
sort of stuff, and I actually became quite good at it.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Cooking what food, okay, not that, no no no no no,
not that, not that kind of cooking.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
How that kind of cooking, although it probably would have
been alright, But yeah, So I got into catering, and
you know, I got quite good at it, and people
My Instagram profile started to go quite well, and people
started to book me for dinner parties and this and
this and this. Then I ended up on working on
the Souperots, and then I did a lot of travel
working on Superiots. I was always in super Yots on
the Harbor catering during the summer seasons. And I got
(24:27):
up north and do do catering, and then I was
having a great time doing that, love love love love
doing it. And then in December last year, I was
diagnosed with cancer, which kind of put a bit of a.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
A holt on everything, a hold on everything.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
And since then it's been a bit of a bit
of a fucking process, my friend, a bit of a process.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So, so tell me that that's that's the thing that
we That's why I wanted you to come on Bigure
more more to the fact that able to celebrate your
life too.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
In a way which I appreciate you, I really do.
So tell me about the cancer issue. Well, I've got
I've got stage four a sophagal cancer. I mean, if
you don't know who you're a sophag there's in it.
It goes right down the center of your chest and
everything you eat and drink goes down the esophagus. I've
been having pain in my chest and terrible reflux for
(25:15):
eight nine ten months. I kept on going to the GPS,
but I mentioned pain to a GP. They thought, oh,
he's fishing for meds. Fishing for meds, so they just
tell me to take you know, what pain would it
be like?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It would it be like a heartburn kind of pain,
or it was like a heart.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Burned kind of pain, but constant for constant. And so
I go to the local GP and they go, oh,
the minute you mentioned pain, they think you're fishing for
pain meds and they just go take next to him,
and you know, come back in three months and newrop
and you'll be right. Three months, still pain, same thing,
another three months, still pain. So I was undiagnosed for
about i'd say twelve months, which made it worse for me.
(25:50):
And finally a girlfriend of mine said, Steve, there's a
gut specialist around the corner in Alexandria. Go make an
appointment with him. So I went and made an appointment
to just sorry, you're in for an endoscopic colonoscopy. Now
that's where they go up the bum and down the
throat with a camera. I think every man over fifty,
if not fifty five, should have it. It's like when
they seen to the Pooh test, Do the fucking pood
(26:11):
test seriously. So the minute I came out from the anesthetic,
there were two surgeons in in there going or we
found something. I was like, fuck, I've got bowel cancer. No,
you guys, it's on the esophagus. And I was like,
where the folks are so you had to point to
it anyway. That's when it went sort of steam rolled
into like red lights, red lights, all that sort of shit.
So I was booked in for an appointment with one
(26:33):
of the surgeons. He was going to rebuild my esophagus
and I'd be cancer free and everything be fine.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
But then I had a thing called a pet scan,
which is.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They fuel your fall of radioactive material and you glow
in the dark type of thing, and then they put
it through one of those big spinning Mr machines. The
only thing that picks up is cancer cells. It was
fucking all over me. So it was all over my esophagus,
it was all over my lymphanodes, it was all over
my liver. So then the opportunity of having surgery was
out the door, off the table, so they put me
(27:01):
over to the radiation department. I did three weeks of
daily dosages of radiation. Nearly killed me. Nearly killed me.
Now I've got people that I don't like. I wouldn't
wish it on them. I really wouldn't wish it on them.
The pain that I went through at the end of it,
the pain was so hard. I was on fentanyl, that's
what they gave me, and that shit's brutal. No wonder
(27:22):
that no wonder, that's the talk of the world. You know.
It's probably one of the meanest, nastiest pain killing drugs
that you can have. But it kind of fixed the
pain that I was in, and then I kind of
sort of thought about it. The radiation treatment shrunk the
tumor on my esophagus a little bit, which makes it
easier for me to drink and eat. As you can tell,
(27:43):
my voice is an octave lower than it used to be,
which apparently kind of sounds kind of sexy, which is.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
But then I kind of thought, do I want to
go down the.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Path of chemotherapy and all that sort of stuff, because
a soophagal cancer. It's a nasty one. It doesn't really
give you much time if you google it. Without any treatment,
maximum time frame is twelve months. That's all you're going
to get with treatment, fifteen sixteen months. So I've managed
to I actually should be dead by now, according to
(28:13):
what my doctors have said, but because of the treatment,
because of my mental attitude towards it, I'm holding on there.
I still have things that I need to do. So
I decided to throw a party. I decided to throw
a party. It was the last day my sister came
up with said she didn't come up with the idea.
(28:34):
She suggested it to me because she'd heard somebody doing
a live wake and I said, oh, that sounds a
bit fucking morbid, and she goes, no, yeah, I haven't
think about it. You know, just think about it really good.
You know, all your friends get to see you. Okay,
you're half the size it used to be because the
gradiation therapy took off half of my body weight. I
went from a thirty four and a half in jeans
to a twenty eight. Geen right, I'm skinny as fuck,
(28:57):
but I still look okay. I've still got my hair,
you know. So she said, ever think about it, and
I was like, all right. So I thought about it,
and I speak to few move mates about and they're like,
what a fucking cracker right here. So I decided that
I put an invitation together called the Last Dance and
see what the reaction of people was going to be.
(29:19):
I got one hundred and sixty people on a floating
boat in the harbor on a Wednesday night, which was
absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
And they were all there because of me.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
My sister said to me, Jesus Christ, if all your
ex girlfriends go to one side the boat, it's going
to slip over. It's going to flip over. But it
was a really, really good thing. It was a lot
of emotion, a lot of you know, a lot of crying,
litteers and all that sort of stuff. But at the
same time, it was celebration of the life that I've
that I've had, and I don't want my friends, especially you,
(29:51):
come and visit me when I'm a payload car ands
And Vince's looking like that poor guy Brian on the
cigarette packet. You know that's not Steve. He doesn't look
like that with a fucking feeding tube. Down my nose
and like looking like a fucking you know, skeleton. You
don't want to see me like that. You want to
remember me like this, And that's what I wanted all
my friends to remember me. Steve, the fun one, the
(30:13):
happy one, you know, always always upbeat. And that's why
it was such a success. Daily Mail picked it up
for god fucking hell. I don't know how I got
out there, but it was. It was actually really well written,
really really well written. And because Darli Muck can be
a little bit nasty sometimes as we know, but the
(30:33):
young guy who was writing and since Steve, I think
this is a wonderful idea. It might change people's people's
attitude to death and to terminal diseases. You know, I
watched my mother go through terrible cancer, and I was
a primary care right up until she died. I don't
want I don't want to put my friends and family
through that. It was fucking brutal. It was really fucking brutal.
So that's that's one of the reasons why I'm not
(30:55):
doing any further treatment. I'm just going to let it
go the path.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
So we've spoken off off here and you said you're
doing this volunteered assisted process.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yes, like, it's a tough subject to bring when you
told me about it, come on, man, like you yeah,
so tell me about that, okay. Volunteers is a death
It was legislated in New South Wales probably about two
years ago and it was pushed through parliament with a
great deal of help from Andrew Denton, who's a comedian
(31:27):
write podcast and he had a similar issue with his
mother passing away and the pain of the death and
the how long they drag it out with morphine and
just another day, another day, another day, and it's quite
fucking brutal. This gives you the option to do it
when you're ready and be able to do it with dignity,
(31:51):
rather than lying in a bed shitting your pants, mumbling,
not even knowing who the fuck you are or where
the fuck you are, and your friends and family coming
and seeing you in this way. So it gives you
the option of being able to do it. It is
a big process to go through. You got to go
through quite a big screening process. You have to be
approved by a physician that you have a maximum of
(32:13):
six months to live, which I was given that, so
I was approved for the program.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
A month or so ago.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So all I need to do is some on THEE
twenty four hours beforehand, and they put me into a hospital.
I get a minister of the drug and then I go.
But I'm not ready to go yet. It gives me
the option of being able to do it. As soon
as I can't swallow, that's when I'm in trouble. That's
when they have to do it intravenously. I don't want
to be eating through a feeding tube. And I think
(32:44):
when you start to look at the go gently it's
called Go Gently foundation. You actually tend to appreciate how
people think. Back in the day, you know, you say
to your mates, made if everyone I was in a
motorbike accident and I end up with a wheelchair, just
walk me off the end of a pew, or you know,
give me a hit of heroin and I'll be done
with it, you know, be able to.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Take your own life. Fought that way, And we did
think of things like that.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
You know, if you were ever struck out, you know,
in a car accident or something, you're in a wheelchair,
what would you want to be doing? It's about in
mental state. There are times that you want to you'd
want to neck yourself. But with a terminal disease, it's
a different story. You know you're going to die and
how you're going to die. It's now in your own
hands how you're going to die. So that's what I
(33:28):
have and that's not doesn't it doesn't sit well with
some of my friends. It's something that it's that I've
had a lot of difficult discussions with. There are people
I haven't told, so I don't know when the podcast
is going to go out, but there people might be
bringing me to go what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And also too you Neil, this podcast, this conversation might
go out after I've gone, in which case it will
be even more of a celebration of my life.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
But I think it's great for.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I know, I know, mate, And as you know, before
we went live on the conversation, I said, listen, I've
got to rip the band aid off. And that's what
I do with my friends. I've got to rip the
banot off because it makes it easier for me, but
also makes it a little bit easier for them to
cope with the process that I'm going through, and it
allows them time to sort of adjust to it. The
(34:22):
go generally foundation have been I think are amazing and
I think they do a great thing for the community.
It's not listed to suicide in the legislation, so that
means you if you next yourself or your insurance becomes
void or everything, whereas with this it's not. It's a
sister death, so you basically approve to yourself for a
(34:45):
sister death. So it's not suicide. So your family get
your super and their family get your life insurance and
all that sort of stuff. So all the legislation is
actually very very well written out. You can't get it
unless you're six months max. They won't even bother talking
to you. Even if you're twelve months. They weren't talking
to you until your six months. So for me, it
(35:06):
was a it was a better way of doing things,
going out the way I wanted to go, cigarette my
hand fucking glass scotch with my friends and family around me.
And it's a quick process. You know, it's not for everybody,
and there will be people that will going that's fart,
that's but there are other people that go No. I
wish I wish it was around when my father was
(35:28):
going through it, or I wish it was around with
my sister was going through it. Eternal disease is a really,
really hard one to sort of grasp for anybody, for anybody,
I never thought that this was going to happen to me.
I thought I'd be still kicking around trying to get
into nightclubs, you know, at seventy seventy five, you know,
standing up there swinging, you know, swinging mattire around. You know.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
But life deals the path of the deals.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
I think that's what I mean. When when you told me,
it was like to me, it's like, yeah, you told
me you got cancer. But it's like and everyone, probably
all your friends and family think the same.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
You'll beat it. You'll beat it, You'll be able to You.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Got this, Steve. Steve didn't got this. And that was
the thing, you know, all my social media, it was like, Steve,
you got this, you got this. So I actually stopped
putting posts up on my social media about my cancer update,
my treatment update, because I was sick to death of
hearing this you got this and then sending me all
this information about methyl blue and fucking cures of this.
(36:28):
And there's guys in fucking Byron Bay that live in
a shed that are curing people have cancer, but they're
not charging anybody. And it's like, for fuck's sake, I've
got great, great, smart people treating me the best way
they possibly can. It's not working. They've given me a
little bit of extra time, and I'm glad that they've
given me the extra time because it allowed me to
do things with my friends and my family that I
(36:50):
would not normally have had the opportunity to do, which
has been really really great. And when I go, when
I'm ready to go, oh no, I no, I'm ready,
And you know, like seeing you today, it's great. I
get to spend a little bit of time with you,
have a bit of a chat, and then I say
say goodbye to yah. Yes, let's have hopefully we'll have
a stake together if I could meet one, you know.
(37:11):
But that's that's pretty much in a nutshell.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Is there any regrets that you've got in motion?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Everybody asked me that not one, not one regret, not one.
My mate, say Steve bucket list, bucket lisz mate, done everything.
I've had the best fucking life. I've got some wonderful friends,
I've done some incredible things. I've traveled the world, you know,
done all that sort of stuff. No regrets. I would
have liked to have had a child, got three ex wives.
(37:40):
I was always probably a bit of a child myself,
which is why I never had that opportunity. But my
best mates, I've been there with their kids, and I've
taught them how to do naughty things because I'm the
naughty uncle, you know, And that to me sort of
cancels out the regret of not having my own children.
But yep, no regrets.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
There's nothing that you'd like to do. No, No, you're
just happy to just have life.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
If even if you said, Steve managed no option, nothing known,
I'd be like, let's you go for dinner. Let's have
a steak while I can still lead it. And I'm
an early nice bottle of red while I can still
lead it. But no, and a lot of my mates
keep going. I said, really, why do we do that?
Don't it? What about this? Don't it? Did it? Dated?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Up?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I got it.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
I keep getting these stupid tatoos with my friends. I've
got one, the other.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
That I got with my with my nieces, I got
twin nieces. It's a cannon tuna. Why it's a cannachuin?
Speaker 3 (38:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
It's a shame you can't see because it's really but
I love it because that's what the girls wanted.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
And the other night, another very good friend of mine,
we first met.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
On a golf course, so now we have matching, matching tatoos.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
It's a golf club and a golf ball. It's a
good thing. This is radio, not television.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
You don't worry.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Oh my god, what would you what would you describe
you in one word? O?
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Uck, childish?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I don't know. It's like people always say, Wow, what
defines you?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
That's a really hard question.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Never fucked out anybody that didn't need to be fucked over,
didn't do anything, didn't do anyth the wrong thing by anybody.
I like to think that I've been a good person,
and I think that comes with the eventuation of death.
Have I been good? Have I done the right thing? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:31):
I reckon I have.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I think integrity and honesty are all those really good things.
That's why you and I are friends because I was
never a dickhead to you. I never stole money from
anybody that you knew that. I stole the money from anuse.
We clicked straight away, We did straight away, and one
would think, how the fuck did that work out? You know,
but it did and the respect is carried on for
fifteen twenty years years. Yeah, and it's like whenever I
(39:57):
see it's like it's like you know, there's been a
pause button. It's exactly the same as it always was.
You know, people wanting to see that I haven't seen
for a long time, and to me, that's really special.
It also gives them them the opportunity to say goodbye
as well. But also it's nice to be able to
spend time with him. I know that John wants to
see me before you flanch or something. Yeah, we hang
(40:18):
out with him for a coffee and have lunch with him.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
All right, I'll say this, then, is it because you
know what's happened to you and people reach out who
you haven't seen for a long time.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Do you feel that like that's a bit like, oh,
you're only reaching out to me now because of this.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Some people it is now, some people it is. Yes,
I don't think it's. There's some people they have this
they have own conscious a little bit of guilt or whatever.
But for the most part, I think they're just genuinely
like we're all so connected with social media. I saw
what you had fucking for dinner last night on you
on your Instagram, right, But we haven't seen each other
(40:52):
in twelve months, but we still keep in touch. We
still keep in touch, but we haven't actually physically seen
each other. High five, arm around hut and I think
there's a lot of people are going, well, we actually
haven't seen in each other and sometimes Steve, but we're
so connected on social media. I think we need to
think about that a little bit more and actually reconnect
with our friends and go out with them, catch up
(41:14):
with them, have a barbigue, you have a beer, and
just sit down and connect rather than the constant text
messages in this and that and that and that and
that and not really spending time with people. And that
was another reason why I wanted to throw the party,
was because there were so many people who I hadn't seen,
who I really wanted to see. That because of working
in hospitality for so many years, I'd be working for
(41:37):
Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. That's when
then nights were off. My nights were Monday Tuesday. Who
want to fucking go on Monday Tuesday? Now people actually
do want to go and go on Tuesday. But I
just I don't look at people and go, oh, you're
just doing that because you know you're feeling guilty about something.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
Okay, you know, I don't. I don't think that at all.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
I don't. I don't think that people are really thinking
along those lines. I mean, as I said with John, yeah,
I'd love to catch up with him. You know, whenever
I see him, he is always you know, we always
got on fine, you know, And that's just the way
it is. People reaching out to me that I haven't
heard from it in a long time.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I think it's great.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
If I don't want to hang out with or to
hang out with that simple look, I'm really I'm not
feeling up for it tonight. Or I had a bit
of a rough couple of weeks which I have. You know,
my health goes up and down and up and down,
up and down, my sleeping. But if you saw the
dosage of morphine that I'm on right now, it's hilarious.
It's a slow release morphine patch, sensational, sensational, but the
(42:34):
pain is constant and it's fixing it.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Yeah, and it's fixing it.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So you know, I've had a great time.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Norets Wow, Steve, like, I thank you for coming on
back on, But like as I said, I'm me, I'm
still lostful with It'd.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Be nice if it was under different circumstances.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
But you know what, but that's why I said to
you that this is the reason why I wanted you
back on, because one, you know, I've seen that you
did your last stance and I thought, you know what,
this would be good to have because we never had
video footage of you and that's the reason why wants
to redo your your interviews.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
So there was always footage of year there.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
And I appreciate that because it wasn't from the last one.
We were kind out, we didn't even we didn't have
any have something to put out, put you a follow.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Yeah, and now this has gone I like bigger with
my podcast. I thought, you know what to get them
back on and I've got that everyone's got that memory
of there.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Yeah, that's the same. And then I appreciate that. I
appreciate that a great deal.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
And as I said, our friendship is twenty years and
it's always insolid, always insolent. Thank you for coming on,
my pleasure brother, Thank you for having me now we're
going to go up and have a big hub.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
You can feel like it's a SLA.
Approache Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the
Muscle Commons, and.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
In this episode I speak to Steve Low, a long
time insider with a complex history of the Crosses nightclub scene.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It was a part of our lives that we were
very fortunate to have. I think I look back at
it with such fondness. My colors are different now.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I don't like going out normal hard to me, it's
what are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
A few of them have wheelchair access.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It was always a lot skinny kid that if you
become the big dormant, you know, push your finger into
any one of your pecks, or if he does it again,
anything to get a slapped. Next minute, this kid gets
slapped and you just go, oh my god, I missed that.
And then in December last year, I was diagnosed with cancer.
This conversation might go out after I've gone, in which
case it will be even more of a celebration of
my life.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Mister Steve Low, thank you for coming on. This is
the second time you've been on. Made you welcome anything
for you, but I wanted you on to refresh this
and as I said, you know, we've got a few
of the things that we need to talk about.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
As well in your life at the moment.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
But I wanted to refresh this interview with you because
you know, at the time it was I was new
to the podcast scene, and I think this is a
right time now to do a refresh of your life
and get it out there a bit more, mate.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I mean the first time it was We're in a
dark studio somewhere in Chippindale with his dodgy address, and
I was like, fucking he Christ, I'm sure I own
no money. No, no, no, I don't know him any money.
And then Sal was there, he was he was sort
of seeing the whole sort of thing. Yeah, and we had, mate,
we had a great laugh, Yeah we did. We had
a really good laugh. But now it's sort of you've
(01:49):
grown up, yes, and I think it's really good and
what you've been doing with your podcast, mate, we've won
awards for it if you're doing a great job with it.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And of course, and we'll come back when you ask
me to thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You, thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
So let's let's get into you growing up, growing up,
growing up, and what led you.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
To go down the path of the Make Life World.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Girls What girls?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Girls what mate?
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Whenever you went, mate.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But if you're standing in the front door of a nightclub,
you're going to poor girls, mate. You got to poor girls.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You pull them at school.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I went to a private boys school, so that was
a whole different sort of pulling.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
But I'm not going to go down. I'm not going
to talk about that one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But yeah, I mean growing up and sitting in the
eighties on the North Shore, there was nowhere to go
out at the green Gate Hotel. I discovered nightclubs in
the Cross and Oxford Street and I was just going,
this is fucking unreal. You know, you were meeting people,
You're listening to great music, and I just fell in
love with nightclubs and all I wanted to do is
(02:51):
they to be at them or work at them. So
the first gig that I got was on the door
of the Caldron Nightclub and that was an infamous club
back in.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
The security were doing.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
But like I was a dormant, Oh really, yeah, I
was a dominant like you. But back in those days
we didn't have security. You just had to look cool
and in house and be able to speak the right
things and back in those days, it was all the
gangsters in their sharkskin suits with their you know, with
their money and stuff like that. And these guys that
come in Friday nights at the Caldron would be like
(03:20):
the girlfriend's nights, where all the gangsters and all the
colorful racing identities to bring their girlfriends. In Saturday nights
they brought their wives in. Nice to see you back again,
you know, all that sort of stuff. But I actually
absolutely loved it, absolutely loved it. And then I ended
up being the general manager of the club for a
while and it was just like for me, it was
just heaven. And then I kind of took a break
(03:41):
from it and went off and did other things in
my life. I was a photographer for a very long time,
so I did a lot of that, and then I
kind of got back into it again.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It just lured me back in, you know, the love
of a nightclub.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Were you a passing boy when you first started that?
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Not really, No, not really.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I didn't discover all that's the fun side of it
until much later because it was just sort of like
people that drink champagne and smoke cigarettes. So I did
a little bit of coke, but you don't even know
where to get it from back in these days. But yeah,
it was just more. It was just more the music.
Getting dressed up, you know, you had to put it on,
a nice outfit to go out and being a dominant
(04:19):
one of the callers night clubs in town was like,
you know, it wasn't your name's not on the guest's
not coming in the door.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It's like, didn't like the look of you. You weren't
coming in, and you'd have a crowd of like.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
One hundred and fifty people go pick me, pick me,
and pick me, and I go, You're all right, you're
all right, you're hot, You're hot, you're hot in you go?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
But why can't I get it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Mate?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Look what you're wearing? Pull yourself together? What do you
want to do? You want to pick up girls?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Here?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Look at the girls that I'm letting in here. Do
you think you're going to hook up with them dressed
like that?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
What's wrong with it? I just I just bought this.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Suit from Killy Country, mate, Try something else, Try a
different tag.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Is you put it?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
If I go home and change, we let me in, sure,
no problem.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Three hours Maybe the same guy walks up in a
suit and he goes I got changed and I said, Mante,
come in, let me buy you a drink. Let me
a drink. And that was back in the days when
I first met John, because John was driving for Bill
Baout and Bill used to love coming into the cauldroom
because it wasn't on the mainstream of the Cross. John
Darling has road and John to drop him off and go,
(05:16):
so to give me a bit of Anne and go
all right, just waving him and John and take it off.
But Bill's down at the front door. He was an
absolute gentleman. Stand at the front door. We'd have a
bit of a chat like this, a little bit like
Dracula directly might walk over your door, your door heart frame,
and to invite him in. So Bill and I would
just stand there and he'd just kind of like, Bill,
would you like to come in for a drink? That'd
be lovely. Steve, thank you so much, Walk into the bar,
(05:38):
get in a Scotch and he was always great. Steve,
come down to the Cosmopolitan for a coffee. And if
anybody knows the Cross, they know what the cosin Pultan
Cafe was. That's where it all happened. Come and have
your picture taken, Come and have you a picture taken.
I was like, all right, mate, no problem. But for
me it was just great fun. It was just really
really good fun. And then after the Calldron I did
(05:58):
the head of the door at Reva, which is the
Sheridan on the Park hotel. That was cool. We had
like Madonna like headsets and we all looked really scary
and tough. But then that was when we started to
bring in a lot of security because a lot of
a lot of the naughty boys thought, well, I'm going
to nightclubs. Why I still in the clubhouse at in
Penrith when I can go to a cool night club
and you know, flash my cash around. So that's when
they needed hardcore security. And you would have found it
(06:21):
too on Oxford Street with DCM and all that sort
of stuff. And then after doing Rever I sort of
took some time off and John asked me if I'd
be interested in doing the Door of Lady Lucks, which
was a great little club. It was a tiny little
dive of a place in Rolls of the Street, one
hundred and seventy capacity. There were times I have three
hundred people, It was.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Never seventy in that class. I don't care what you saying.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
There were times I over three hundred people in there
and the cops were worked by the eye steel All good, yeah, mane,
no brother, no roy, just as long as you can
kind of move around, you know, like shoulder to shoulder.
But we had such good times, really good times. And
that was when I kind of started working with Giant
because he was like, going, mate, you're really doing a
good job. We need clean skins to be lights and seeds.
(07:05):
I was like, sure, I'll do that. You know. So
what was involved, you know, basic little course, the coppers
that check you out going to a good private school.
I didn't have any parking tickets, as beating funds, no,
no identities, you know, nothing like that. So I became
a licensee of a few of jobs. Was that more
pressure though, No, there was no pressure at all. It
was just an offer and I was like, sure, why not.
(07:26):
I mean, as long as you don't do anything naughty,
everything's fine. Everybody loves you, and as a licensee, you
can't get into trouble because you're holding the nightclub under
your control. Because it was now they're just doing it
through company names and some sort of bullshit Holding company
or whatever. But back then, or an approved manager, which
is usually the glassy, but back then, the licensee. You
(07:51):
had your name over the door. That was I mean,
you were responsible for everything that happened in the place. God,
we had some fun.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well that's what I met you. Yeah, you look exactly friends.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, exactly right, because you would come into the christ
from time to time, but mostly you're up at DC
and might come and see you after work if I
had them a night off. I remember.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I remember John put me at Lady Looks for about
six months. He was having a bit of trouble on
the door. Yeah, I remember, because it was.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Really cool and all the naughty boys when they come in,
so you just stand there and you go, yeah nah
na na.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'll be going, what's on with him?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Steve? Just don't explain to you you can't come.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
In all right?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Then? Okay, And it all started to click, you know,
like when you put a key into a Wholeay okay.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
And then after later.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Because I got roped into being the licensee of good
but yes, that's that was a huge mistake. Even the
cops came up to me, Steve, what are you doing? Man? Listen?
This is not You've got a good reputation around town,
and it's probably not a good idea that you'd be
doing this. And I was just like why. And then
one night I was sitting in the office and all
(08:57):
the bar stuff came in behind him into the office.
I was like, you guys doing good. I think you
better get out there. I walked out and there's about
eight guys wearing full outlawd motorcycle game patch, leather jacket
things standing at the bar. I said, that place it
emptied out. I said, gentlemen, how can I help you?
And they went royal salute, Shiver's royal salute. Coke beautiful.
(09:18):
Put them all a drink like that, it's all on camera.
Put them all the drink, save them a drink, had
a bit of a chat with them. Would you like
another drink? Points? Oh, we like that, Thank you so much.
And I said, was the anything else that I can
do for it? Any idea? How long you guys are
being here for you? He said, I will just finish
our drinks and we'll be on our way. You tell
the boys that we were here, And I was like, sure,
(09:39):
no problem. I was shitting myself, literally shitting myself anyway.
So they left and next minute the whole of Oxford
Tree shut down with all these cars and stuff. And
I'm talking to the local area commander who knew me
from the criss Now, I go, yeah, right, because what
do they want? I said, I've got no idea, but
something to do with one of the owners. And he
(10:02):
goes right, and they were standing beside him was this
young and you're comfortable junior comfortable chick. And she turned
me she goes, where do they part their motorbikes? And
I said, what, babe? And she looked at me, babe,
excuse me, you don't call me babe. I'm comfortable, all right, comfortable.
They don't ride motorbikes. They ride range rovers, they ride BMW's,
(10:26):
they ride mescedis, amgs. They don't ride motorbikes. Of them
don't even have a license or could ride one. And
that was kind of that's where the Nike bike whole
thing came in, because all they did was were nikes,
and they drove around the stolen vehicles that they're just
you know, probably the owners of the stolen vehicles were
in the booth. Half Iver knew. I never knew, so
that was kind of when the police said, Steve, oh,
(10:48):
you a good idea for you know, maybe sort of
step away from doing that. And I was like all right.
And then a made of mind Scott Robertson, who's got
great reputation with his promotions and events and stuff like that.
He owns Glass Island, and he said, well, there's a
space up on Oxford Street. It's available for rent. You
want to do it? And I was like okay. So
I told John, I said, look, I'm going to take
(11:10):
this space. I know it used to be one of
your ones, but you know, you caught that. You go, Steve,
You've got my best wishes. And I was like okay.
So I started pouring money into it, of my own
money and Scott Porter's and money in it, and we
opened it up and then it kind of became sort
of well John would say it was one of his
clubs and that was never mind, Yeah, never mind.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
And it was a great club.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It was you know, it was doing really really good
things for the community on Oxford Street. It was a
tough go because we had a havana next door, which
he worked out for a lot for a while, and
it was just you know, the combination of young kids
and gangsters and strippers. I think that just didn't work.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It didn't help you because all the d CM's crowd
came up, Yeah, and they were they went the old
school of d CM's crowd. They were a bit disrespectful
and all like that. So it was hard for your
very disrespectuse. It was hard for your daughter, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
But we managed to get a really good door team together,
a really good door team together. But they were all
you know, directed to by John, which is fine, and
everything went well, you know, everything went really well. But
after after four and a half years nearly five years
with nightclubs, you either you either change them out, you
renovate them again, putting a slap of paint on them
and mareenaunch them is another name, like they've just recently
(12:16):
done with arc and called it Aura or something. I haven't.
I haven't been there. I'll go and have a look
because you know, I'm still friends with one of the
open Dave. But it's night clubs are different now, you know,
they're not.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
They're not the well I don't like going out normal
hard to me. To me, it's you old, what.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Are you talking about a few of them have wheelchair access.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just don't like the scene anymore. To me, it's
a different thing. The drugs are different, the kids are different.
Like they're one of the licensees of Club seventy seven
a year or so two years ago pass this thing
where you couldn't you weren't allowed to look at a
patron for too long, and it was all about this
sort of consent thing where you know, you can't walk
(12:59):
up to a girl and say, hey, Bob, you're going
to buy you a drink.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
That shit doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You have to you can't look at them for too
long if you're invading their personal space, and it's like,
oh please, I'd rather stay at home and drink a
bottle of tequila and invite some friends over.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
It's just not what.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
It used to be.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
The client sell that's going on is ugly. There's no
restrictions any of them are where you can't say no
to them. It's just like they can come in what
they want exactly, and I just yeah, exactly. And then
you know there's there's no like dress code. I mean,
I mean you could probably pull it up, pulled crocs off.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
These days.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I mean, you know, when you start to think about
what the kids are wearing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And I just think, you know, if you want to
go to if you want to go to Nclobs, Europe's
place to go for nightclubs, well.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I even go out of state now to Melbourne. Know
if I want to go for a.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Week Melbourne, Queensland. You know, great clubs, you haven't good fun.
Everybody gets dressed up to go out, but it is
fun when it is fine. And so then it was
just sort of like, you know, we had great success
with the nightclub and then I just sort of went,
you know, I'm done with nightclubs.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
It gets different.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Drugs come in, like GBH was coming in, so everybody
was just drinking, you know, post mix and soft drinks
and stuff like that. I was running when my people
weren't buy any booths because it affected the drugs that
they were taking. And I just felt no point not
renewing the least, not doing anything like that. I'm out.
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I had a great time.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
It was enough for me. It was enough for me.
But what great fun. You know, I don't look back
at any of it with any regret or I didn't
fuck over anybody. Nobody fucked me over. I had a
fantastic time. I made some great mates, some long term
friendships like you and I. And you know, if you
and I walking down the street together, people look at
go I was that guy bodyguarding that little skinny rather
(14:43):
than you and I being mates going for a drink
or game for steak or something. You know, and the
whole sort of world has changed from that perspective. People
see you and they go, you know, judging books by others.
You might be the size of the house, but you're
a big baby to me. Whenever I see ye.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
How'd you think that you could get the nate life
seen back? You don't think you could.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I don't think it's I don't think can I think
they're I mean, look at the kids these days. They've
got no respect and they're entitled. They're going to be
the ones looking after its when we're old and old
and dying. It's a bit of worry. I don't see
that the nightlife. They they're not going to pay forteen
dollars for a bocusoda back when we were paying six
fifty europe. You know, when it went to eight bucks,
you almost sort of protesting the streets. These kids can't
(15:28):
afford that. You go to a bartle service for a
thousand bars. A round of drinks for four people is
going to cost you two hundred bucks. Stay at home
by the bottle, have house parties, which is seemingly what
they're doing more and more and more and more. And
the house part you are great till midnight. If you
want to go out, you go out. Otherwise you just
go home.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
What about the Cross? Do you ever think the Crossover now?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
The Cross is too gentrified now, which is what the
whole plan of it was probably fifteen years ago when
it all started to close down, and I think John
was behind a lot of that. He wanted to turn
it into residential, residential, which is what he's doing now
with the da that he's been a pre for Basewater Road.
I think it's awesome. I don't think night clubs need
to be there anymore. I mean, really, who's going to
(16:11):
pay a thousand bucks to sit out of booth in
a nightclub unless they're all bikes tattered up bikeers that
want to spend you know, spend the herd owned cave.
Nobody's got that sort of money or do they want
to spend it. There's way better things, you know, dinner's restaurant.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
It's just a shame because, as I said, when I
went for a walk down the cross and I've seen,
you know, the likes of Soho Porky's, they're bourbon, they're
all closed out, they're just padlocks over the doors.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Who owns the buildings anymore? Who knows? Who knows?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
But so Especially man, how good was that back in
the day.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
And now it just looks like he's got you know,
electricity bills stuck under the door type thing, you know,
and the big do not enter enter padlock. This premises
has been seized by liquidators, and you just think, fuck Noll.
There was so many opportunities. You could go from club
to club, the club, the club, the club's a club, like, oh,
there's this DJ's playing over here. We'll be there in
(17:03):
ten minutes. And you didn't have to pay twenty five
thirty dollars forty dollars fifty bucks to get in the door.
You got him because you look cool and the guy
at the front door, and you make it in there quick,
have a great time. It was a part of our
lives that we were very fortunate to have. I think
we had a great time and I look back at
it with such fondness, such fondness, and I think I
(17:26):
think you do as well. I mean, I sent you,
I sent you a little meme video the other day.
Back in the old days when it was always att
skiddy kid that had kick on the big dormant and
start telling me he was a lawyer and it was
on his and then he pushed you push your finger
into into one of your pecks, and you go, all right,
if he does it again, anything to get a slapped.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Next minute, this kid getting slapped, and you just go,
oh my god, I missed that.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I missed that, because you know, if you did that now,
there's talent of phones around there.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Oh yeah, man, the wall camera, there's cameras everywhere. There's
a thousand phones. Next minute you're at silver Water and
Raman and going he hit me first. Yeah, you know,
but it's it's things have changed. Things have changed, and
I don't think it'll ever go back to that. I
think the people are more and more going to want
have parties. I've got everybody's building man caves and I've
been to some Maytales Is. They're like their own nightclubs.
(18:15):
You know, they've got the DJ boat and they've bing
the DJ's and have parties there. Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
What'd you say your best venue? You've looked at the.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Lady Lucks. Lady Lucks from the fun of the Actually, no,
I'm going to go back. The Calldroom was so much
fun because it was the eighties and nineties. Everybody had
a great time. I looked back with such fondness for that.
I was young, I was cool, you know, all that
sort of stuff. Then Lady Lux was really great for
me because it was a whole new new vibe. That
(18:43):
girl's hotter.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
When I used to turn up there, I used to
see you and you you're just in your element, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
My element, absolutely my element, having the absolutely the best time,
best time. And you know, I'd also be managing the
place as well. I remember one night the place is
absolutely pumping with people, jam packed, and I would do
skins of the tills. Yeah, so I go till number
one was pocket number one, till number two is pocket
number two, till number three was pocket number three, and
(19:11):
I would just take out you know, fifties, hundreds and
all that sort of stuff, so that you know the
kids that were stealing were going to steal too much.
I'm standing out the front of the club and I
was chatting a man with one of the local licensing
policemen and he's like, oh you you come. He come
the guys and the jack boots with the dogs. They
walked down the street. Next minute, the dogs sat down
next to me and my police officer, Steve Police tell me,
(19:33):
you've got nothing on you, and I've got me never anyway,
they walked me around the little the little alleyway side
corner and made me empty my pockets. I had probably
fifteen thousand dollars in cash from a nightclub.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
That shit's dirty, right.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, the thing that the people have done forezing tests
on notes that have come through bar Hill and at nightclubs.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
And the dog are going all over the money and no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That's still number one, that's your number two, that's number three.
Don't don't fuck it up. It's going to make my night.
And they were all the all the cops are pissing
themselves laughing. So and then they put it into plastic
bags that no, no, no, no, you're not seizing it.
You know where it came from. We'll go back inside.
I put it in the save and we're worried about it.
On Monday, when I've counted it all all right, Steve,
and if you've got ink, should we m be had
(20:24):
interview other pockets? I said, oh god, no, it's probably
all over me.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
But you know, it was sometimes like that that you
just you look back and you go, how did I
get away with it?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And John is to say, Steve, your your smiley face
gets you, gets you out of some sticky spots. And
a lot of the time they were the guys that
come in, the naughty boys that come in. They near me,
they'd show me updods, respect, rolly sleeves down all right,
coming on public tattoos and stuff. They just wanted nice
out with their girls. They didn't want to be in
the cross, so Oxford Street was a better option for them.
(20:59):
They loved it. You know, I look after them, they'll
go after me.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Well, I think you have that respect. Yeah, definitely seen
that respect when I I used to see it. Lady
looks good.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Bar was a hard, hard place for you because you
would still get that respect, but then you'd still get
that clientele came in and didn't know who you were exactly.
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And then I moved over to doing the door I
for you goes the boys that the boys that he
across said, come on, Stevie, you sort of send me
retired out there, want to come and do the to
you guys, And I'm on top of the stairs, absolutely unreal,
this would be great. So I had my v P line.
Everybody else is like this. I had a great time.
(21:36):
I had a really really good time. And the naughty
boys that coming there, and you know, we all knew
the naughty boys were and they'd be in the naughty corner,
and the hot girls are coming, they go straight to
the naughty corner. But that Hugos was great because it
was separated into your dance floor area, your bar area.
You could smoke on the balcony. My god, like the
last time I went up there, because some mates of
(21:56):
ours have reopened it as Pelicano I think. And so
I let up a cigarette on the balcony. I've been
smoking on the balcony Hugos for like, yeah, it's twenty years.
I mean, you know you can't smoke it.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I'm like, what the and then just answers your question,
where is it gone?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Where are the ashtrays?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Because I remember when you wear it, he goes, and
I remember that the dormano used to look at me
because they knew who I was. It was like it
was only Tony, Yeah, Big Tony would always go like, no, Neil,
You're always welcome, but you were Dorman didn't know who like, yeah,
they just know who I was.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Kid, I mean, and I remember seeing you at the
top and you just went and you started hooking me.
It's like this, no, and you go through me.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
It's like but what I used to get is I
used to get a lot of the naughty boys wives Okay,
come in and I knew them all, and they'd come
up to VIP with the twenty thousand dollars handbags and
all that sort of stuff, and they go from the
Corey but their husbands. Because I always made sure that
the girls were looked after and there was no guys
had come up to them. They always put a security
(22:55):
go on them just to make sure the girls had
a nice time. And I got a load of respects
unbeknownst to me from the husbands of these girls, which
was really nice. And you know, traveling around the world
and you know the wise go Stevia and Greece coming
up with that. My husband and I and I'd be like,
oh my god, fucking oh it's you know, the chapter
(23:16):
of this and the chapter of that, in the chapter
of the chapter of that, you know, Montreal, Quebec, Greece, Adforts.
He's just going, oh, fuck, but this but it was
part of my wealth for such a long time and
I had I don't look back on it with any regrets.
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
So that So that was your favorite club? So what
what did you do after you thought the mate life
was over for you?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I got at the hospitality from a cafe perspective. My
wife and I bought a cafe in Paddington and it
had a great time doing it. It wasn't easy, and
then COVID hit, didn't it. COVID shutdown fucking everything. And
I then went into catering, like cooking and all that
sort of stuff, and I actually became quite good at it.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Cooking what food, okay, not that, no no no no no,
not that, not that kind of cooking.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
How that kind of cooking, although it probably would have
been alright, But yeah, So I got into catering, and
you know, I got quite good at it, and people
My Instagram profile started to go quite well, and people
started to book me for dinner parties and this and
this and this. Then I ended up on working on
the Souperots, and then I did a lot of travel
working on Superiots. I was always in super Yots on
the Harbor catering during the summer seasons. And I got
(24:27):
up north and do do catering, and then I was
having a great time doing that, love love love love
doing it. And then in December last year, I was
diagnosed with cancer, which kind of put a bit of a.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
A holt on everything, a hold on everything.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
And since then it's been a bit of a bit
of a fucking process, my friend, a bit of a process.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So, so tell me that that's that's the thing that
we That's why I wanted you to come on Bigure
more more to the fact that able to celebrate your
life too.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
In a way which I appreciate you, I really do.
So tell me about the cancer issue. Well, I've got
I've got stage four a sophagal cancer. I mean, if
you don't know who you're a sophag there's in it.
It goes right down the center of your chest and
everything you eat and drink goes down the esophagus. I've
been having pain in my chest and terrible reflux for
(25:15):
eight nine ten months. I kept on going to the GPS,
but I mentioned pain to a GP. They thought, oh,
he's fishing for meds. Fishing for meds, so they just
tell me to take you know, what pain would it
be like?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It would it be like a heartburn kind of pain,
or it was like a heart.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Burned kind of pain, but constant for constant. And so
I go to the local GP and they go, oh,
the minute you mentioned pain, they think you're fishing for
pain meds and they just go take next to him,
and you know, come back in three months and newrop
and you'll be right. Three months, still pain, same thing,
another three months, still pain. So I was undiagnosed for
about i'd say twelve months, which made it worse for me.
(25:50):
And finally a girlfriend of mine said, Steve, there's a
gut specialist around the corner in Alexandria. Go make an
appointment with him. So I went and made an appointment
to just sorry, you're in for an endoscopic colonoscopy. Now
that's where they go up the bum and down the
throat with a camera. I think every man over fifty,
if not fifty five, should have it. It's like when
they seen to the Pooh test, Do the fucking pood
(26:11):
test seriously. So the minute I came out from the anesthetic,
there were two surgeons in in there going or we
found something. I was like, fuck, I've got bowel cancer. No,
you guys, it's on the esophagus. And I was like,
where the folks are so you had to point to
it anyway. That's when it went sort of steam rolled
into like red lights, red lights, all that sort of shit.
So I was booked in for an appointment with one
(26:33):
of the surgeons. He was going to rebuild my esophagus
and I'd be cancer free and everything be fine.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
But then I had a thing called a pet scan,
which is.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
They fuel your fall of radioactive material and you glow
in the dark type of thing, and then they put
it through one of those big spinning Mr machines. The
only thing that picks up is cancer cells. It was
fucking all over me. So it was all over my esophagus,
it was all over my lymphanodes, it was all over
my liver. So then the opportunity of having surgery was
out the door, off the table, so they put me
(27:01):
over to the radiation department. I did three weeks of
daily dosages of radiation. Nearly killed me. Nearly killed me.
Now I've got people that I don't like. I wouldn't
wish it on them. I really wouldn't wish it on them.
The pain that I went through at the end of it,
the pain was so hard. I was on fentanyl, that's
what they gave me, and that shit's brutal. No wonder
(27:22):
that no wonder, that's the talk of the world. You know.
It's probably one of the meanest, nastiest pain killing drugs
that you can have. But it kind of fixed the
pain that I was in, and then I kind of
sort of thought about it. The radiation treatment shrunk the
tumor on my esophagus a little bit, which makes it
easier for me to drink and eat. As you can tell,
(27:43):
my voice is an octave lower than it used to be,
which apparently kind of sounds kind of sexy, which is.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
But then I kind of thought, do I want to
go down the.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Path of chemotherapy and all that sort of stuff, because
a soophagal cancer. It's a nasty one. It doesn't really
give you much time if you google it. Without any treatment,
maximum time frame is twelve months. That's all you're going
to get with treatment, fifteen sixteen months. So I've managed
to I actually should be dead by now, according to
(28:13):
what my doctors have said, but because of the treatment,
because of my mental attitude towards it, I'm holding on there.
I still have things that I need to do. So
I decided to throw a party. I decided to throw
a party. It was the last day my sister came
up with said she didn't come up with the idea.
(28:34):
She suggested it to me because she'd heard somebody doing
a live wake and I said, oh, that sounds a
bit fucking morbid, and she goes, no, yeah, I haven't
think about it. You know, just think about it really good.
You know, all your friends get to see you. Okay,
you're half the size it used to be because the
gradiation therapy took off half of my body weight. I
went from a thirty four and a half in jeans
to a twenty eight. Geen right, I'm skinny as fuck,
(28:57):
but I still look okay. I've still got my hair,
you know. So she said, ever think about it, and
I was like, all right. So I thought about it,
and I speak to few move mates about and they're like,
what a fucking cracker right here. So I decided that
I put an invitation together called the Last Dance and
see what the reaction of people was going to be.
(29:19):
I got one hundred and sixty people on a floating
boat in the harbor on a Wednesday night, which was
absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
And they were all there because of me.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
My sister said to me, Jesus Christ, if all your
ex girlfriends go to one side the boat, it's going
to slip over. It's going to flip over. But it
was a really, really good thing. It was a lot
of emotion, a lot of you know, a lot of crying,
litteers and all that sort of stuff. But at the
same time, it was celebration of the life that I've
that I've had, and I don't want my friends, especially you,
(29:51):
come and visit me when I'm a payload car ands
And Vince's looking like that poor guy Brian on the
cigarette packet. You know that's not Steve. He doesn't look
like that with a fucking feeding tube. Down my nose
and like looking like a fucking you know, skeleton. You
don't want to see me like that. You want to
remember me like this, And that's what I wanted all
my friends to remember me. Steve, the fun one, the
(30:13):
happy one, you know, always always upbeat. And that's why
it was such a success. Daily Mail picked it up
for god fucking hell. I don't know how I got
out there, but it was. It was actually really well written,
really really well written. And because Darli Muck can be
a little bit nasty sometimes as we know, but the
(30:33):
young guy who was writing and since Steve, I think
this is a wonderful idea. It might change people's people's
attitude to death and to terminal diseases. You know, I
watched my mother go through terrible cancer, and I was
a primary care right up until she died. I don't
want I don't want to put my friends and family
through that. It was fucking brutal. It was really fucking brutal.
So that's that's one of the reasons why I'm not
(30:55):
doing any further treatment. I'm just going to let it
go the path.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
So we've spoken off off here and you said you're
doing this volunteered assisted process.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yes, like, it's a tough subject to bring when you
told me about it, come on, man, like you yeah,
so tell me about that, okay. Volunteers is a death
It was legislated in New South Wales probably about two
years ago and it was pushed through parliament with a
great deal of help from Andrew Denton, who's a comedian
(31:27):
write podcast and he had a similar issue with his
mother passing away and the pain of the death and
the how long they drag it out with morphine and
just another day, another day, another day, and it's quite
fucking brutal. This gives you the option to do it
when you're ready and be able to do it with dignity,
(31:51):
rather than lying in a bed shitting your pants, mumbling,
not even knowing who the fuck you are or where
the fuck you are, and your friends and family coming
and seeing you in this way. So it gives you
the option of being able to do it. It is
a big process to go through. You got to go
through quite a big screening process. You have to be
approved by a physician that you have a maximum of
(32:13):
six months to live, which I was given that, so
I was approved for the program.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
A month or so ago.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So all I need to do is some on THEE
twenty four hours beforehand, and they put me into a hospital.
I get a minister of the drug and then I go.
But I'm not ready to go yet. It gives me
the option of being able to do it. As soon
as I can't swallow, that's when I'm in trouble. That's
when they have to do it intravenously. I don't want
to be eating through a feeding tube. And I think
(32:44):
when you start to look at the go gently it's
called Go Gently foundation. You actually tend to appreciate how
people think. Back in the day, you know, you say
to your mates, made if everyone I was in a
motorbike accident and I end up with a wheelchair, just
walk me off the end of a pew, or you know,
give me a hit of heroin and I'll be done
with it, you know, be able to.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Take your own life. Fought that way, And we did
think of things like that.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
You know, if you were ever struck out, you know,
in a car accident or something, you're in a wheelchair,
what would you want to be doing? It's about in
mental state. There are times that you want to you'd
want to neck yourself. But with a terminal disease, it's
a different story. You know you're going to die and
how you're going to die. It's now in your own
hands how you're going to die. So that's what I
(33:28):
have and that's not doesn't it doesn't sit well with
some of my friends. It's something that it's that I've
had a lot of difficult discussions with. There are people
I haven't told, so I don't know when the podcast
is going to go out, but there people might be
bringing me to go what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And also too you Neil, this podcast, this conversation might
go out after I've gone, in which case it will
be even more of a celebration of my life.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
But I think it's great for.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I know, I know, mate, And as you know, before
we went live on the conversation, I said, listen, I've
got to rip the band aid off. And that's what
I do with my friends. I've got to rip the
banot off because it makes it easier for me, but
also makes it a little bit easier for them to
cope with the process that I'm going through, and it
allows them time to sort of adjust to it. The
(34:22):
go generally foundation have been I think are amazing and
I think they do a great thing for the community.
It's not listed to suicide in the legislation, so that
means you if you next yourself or your insurance becomes
void or everything, whereas with this it's not. It's a
sister death, so you basically approve to yourself for a
(34:45):
sister death. So it's not suicide. So your family get
your super and their family get your life insurance and
all that sort of stuff. So all the legislation is
actually very very well written out. You can't get it
unless you're six months max. They won't even bother talking
to you. Even if you're twelve months. They weren't talking
to you until your six months. So for me, it
(35:06):
was a it was a better way of doing things,
going out the way I wanted to go, cigarette my
hand fucking glass scotch with my friends and family around me.
And it's a quick process. You know, it's not for everybody,
and there will be people that will going that's fart,
that's but there are other people that go No. I
wish I wish it was around when my father was
(35:28):
going through it, or I wish it was around with
my sister was going through it. Eternal disease is a really,
really hard one to sort of grasp for anybody, for anybody,
I never thought that this was going to happen to me.
I thought I'd be still kicking around trying to get
into nightclubs, you know, at seventy seventy five, you know,
standing up there swinging, you know, swinging mattire around. You know.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
But life deals the path of the deals.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
I think that's what I mean. When when you told me,
it was like to me, it's like, yeah, you told
me you got cancer. But it's like and everyone, probably
all your friends and family think the same.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
You'll beat it. You'll beat it, You'll be able to You.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Got this, Steve. Steve didn't got this. And that was
the thing, you know, all my social media, it was like, Steve,
you got this, you got this. So I actually stopped
putting posts up on my social media about my cancer update,
my treatment update, because I was sick to death of
hearing this you got this and then sending me all
this information about methyl blue and fucking cures of this.
(36:28):
And there's guys in fucking Byron Bay that live in
a shed that are curing people have cancer, but they're
not charging anybody. And it's like, for fuck's sake, I've
got great, great, smart people treating me the best way
they possibly can. It's not working. They've given me a
little bit of extra time, and I'm glad that they've
given me the extra time because it allowed me to
do things with my friends and my family that I
(36:50):
would not normally have had the opportunity to do, which
has been really really great. And when I go, when
I'm ready to go, oh no, I no, I'm ready,
And you know, like seeing you today, it's great. I
get to spend a little bit of time with you,
have a bit of a chat, and then I say
say goodbye to yah. Yes, let's have hopefully we'll have
a stake together if I could meet one, you know.
(37:11):
But that's that's pretty much in a nutshell.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Is there any regrets that you've got in motion?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Everybody asked me that not one, not one regret, not one.
My mate, say Steve bucket list, bucket lisz mate, done everything.
I've had the best fucking life. I've got some wonderful friends,
I've done some incredible things. I've traveled the world, you know,
done all that sort of stuff. No regrets. I would
have liked to have had a child, got three ex wives.
(37:40):
I was always probably a bit of a child myself,
which is why I never had that opportunity. But my
best mates, I've been there with their kids, and I've
taught them how to do naughty things because I'm the
naughty uncle, you know, And that to me sort of
cancels out the regret of not having my own children.
But yep, no regrets.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
There's nothing that you'd like to do. No, No, you're
just happy to just have life.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
If even if you said, Steve managed no option, nothing known,
I'd be like, let's you go for dinner. Let's have
a steak while I can still lead it. And I'm
an early nice bottle of red while I can still
lead it. But no, and a lot of my mates
keep going. I said, really, why do we do that?
Don't it? What about this? Don't it? Did it? Dated?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Up?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I got it.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
I keep getting these stupid tatoos with my friends. I've
got one, the other.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
That I got with my with my nieces, I got
twin nieces. It's a cannon tuna. Why it's a cannachuin?
Speaker 3 (38:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
It's a shame you can't see because it's really but
I love it because that's what the girls wanted.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
And the other night, another very good friend of mine,
we first met.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
On a golf course, so now we have matching, matching tatoos.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
It's a golf club and a golf ball. It's a
good thing. This is radio, not television.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
You don't worry.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Oh my god, what would you what would you describe
you in one word? O?
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Uck, childish?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I don't know. It's like people always say, Wow, what
defines you?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
That's a really hard question.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Never fucked out anybody that didn't need to be fucked over,
didn't do anything, didn't do anyth the wrong thing by anybody.
I like to think that I've been a good person,
and I think that comes with the eventuation of death.
Have I been good? Have I done the right thing? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (39:31):
I reckon I have.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I think integrity and honesty are all those really good things.
That's why you and I are friends because I was
never a dickhead to you. I never stole money from
anybody that you knew that. I stole the money from anuse.
We clicked straight away, We did straight away, and one
would think, how the fuck did that work out? You know,
but it did and the respect is carried on for
fifteen twenty years years. Yeah, and it's like whenever I
(39:57):
see it's like it's like you know, there's been a
pause button. It's exactly the same as it always was.
You know, people wanting to see that I haven't seen
for a long time, and to me, that's really special.
It also gives them them the opportunity to say goodbye
as well. But also it's nice to be able to
spend time with him. I know that John wants to
see me before you flanch or something. Yeah, we hang
(40:18):
out with him for a coffee and have lunch with him.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
All right, I'll say this, then, is it because you
know what's happened to you and people reach out who
you haven't seen for a long time.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Do you feel that like that's a bit like, oh,
you're only reaching out to me now because of this.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Some people it is now, some people it is. Yes,
I don't think it's. There's some people they have this
they have own conscious a little bit of guilt or whatever.
But for the most part, I think they're just genuinely
like we're all so connected with social media. I saw
what you had fucking for dinner last night on you
on your Instagram, right, But we haven't seen each other
(40:52):
in twelve months, but we still keep in touch. We
still keep in touch, but we haven't actually physically seen
each other. High five, arm around hut and I think
there's a lot of people are going, well, we actually
haven't seen in each other and sometimes Steve, but we're
so connected on social media. I think we need to
think about that a little bit more and actually reconnect
with our friends and go out with them, catch up
(41:14):
with them, have a barbigue, you have a beer, and
just sit down and connect rather than the constant text
messages in this and that and that and that and
that and not really spending time with people. And that
was another reason why I wanted to throw the party,
was because there were so many people who I hadn't seen,
who I really wanted to see. That because of working
in hospitality for so many years, I'd be working for
(41:37):
Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. That's when
then nights were off. My nights were Monday Tuesday. Who
want to fucking go on Monday Tuesday? Now people actually
do want to go and go on Tuesday. But I
just I don't look at people and go, oh, you're
just doing that because you know you're feeling guilty about something.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
Okay, you know, I don't. I don't think that at all.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
I don't. I don't think that people are really thinking
along those lines. I mean, as I said with John, yeah,
I'd love to catch up with him. You know, whenever
I see him, he is always you know, we always
got on fine, you know, And that's just the way
it is. People reaching out to me that I haven't
heard from it in a long time.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
I think it's great.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
If I don't want to hang out with or to
hang out with that simple look, I'm really I'm not
feeling up for it tonight. Or I had a bit
of a rough couple of weeks which I have. You know,
my health goes up and down and up and down,
up and down, my sleeping. But if you saw the
dosage of morphine that I'm on right now, it's hilarious.
It's a slow release morphine patch, sensational, sensational, but the
(42:34):
pain is constant and it's fixing it.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Yeah, and it's fixing it.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So you know, I've had a great time.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Norets Wow, Steve, like, I thank you for coming on
back on, But like as I said, I'm me, I'm
still lostful with It'd.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Be nice if it was under different circumstances.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
But you know what, but that's why I said to
you that this is the reason why I wanted you
back on, because one, you know, I've seen that you
did your last stance and I thought, you know what,
this would be good to have because we never had
video footage of you and that's the reason why wants
to redo your your interviews.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
So there was always footage of year there.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
And I appreciate that because it wasn't from the last one.
We were kind out, we didn't even we didn't have
any have something to put out, put you a follow.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Yeah, and now this has gone I like bigger with
my podcast. I thought, you know what to get them
back on and I've got that everyone's got that memory
of there.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Yeah, that's the same. And then I appreciate that. I
appreciate that a great deal.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
And as I said, our friendship is twenty years and
it's always insolid, always insolent. Thank you for coming on,
my pleasure brother, Thank you for having me now we're
going to go up and have a big hub.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
You can feel like it's a SLA.
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