August 29, 2025 • 47 mins
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In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Michael Allen to explore the intersections of fatherhood, music, and military life. Michael opens up about the challenges of becoming a new parent while navigating the struggles of mental health, addiction, and the pressures of military service.
Through his journey, Michael has turned to songwriting and music as a path to healing, resilience, and personal growth. He shares the inspiration behind his upcoming projects, the importance of being present for his family, and how creativity has helped him stay grounded during difficult times.
This heartfelt conversation dives into the realities many veterans face—balancing personal battles with the responsibility of family and service—and highlights the power of community support, vulnerability, and self-expression.
👉 If you found value in this episode, don’t forget to follow, share, like, and subscribe to Security Halt! on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts to keep these important conversations alive.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Securepodcast is proudly sponsored by Titan's
Arms.
Head over to the episodedescription and check out
Titan's Arms today.
Michael Allen, how's it going,man?
What's up, man?
How you been?
I'm good man, fucking.
I have Dealing with a burnoutcold Every once in a while.
You're working super hard,staying up super late, burning
(00:20):
multiple fucking things down andyour body says you gotta slow
down, but I can't stop won'tstop.
You gotta keep grinding man youhave no fucking idea, man dude,
how you been man I'm good man.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's definitely been, I think, what we talked in
february last time, right, it'sbeen a roller coaster.
Since then, man, a lot ofthings have happened, a lot of
things have changed, so let's go, man, let's dive into it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Man, we're.
We're both new dads Getting upvery straight.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, we can start with that.
That's crazy.
That was your first right.
Yeah, that was our first.
Yeah, Dude, nobody told meabout the newborn trenches.
Yeah, dude, we had this babyand we always were like all
right, finances are good,career's good, marriage is good,
everything's good like we'reready to have a kid.
And then the baby got here andwe're like, dude, we were not
(01:06):
ready.
No one's ever ready yeah, andthat's that's what everyone said
.
But I was like no, that'sbullshit, you know, like we're
good, like we're ready for this,and then we figured out real
fast that we weren't ready.
So we're just making shit up aswe go.
Man, she's still alive, so Ithink we're doing pretty good.
Yeah, oh shit.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Girl Dad Congrats.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you have a boy, girl, girl.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Nice yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It's, um, it's amazing man.
I read and everybody sends youtheir favorite books on what to
what to expect.
That'd be a better dad at amoment, and I'm blessed, man.
My wife does all the research,she does all the crunchy granola
(01:47):
mom stuff.
She figures everything out.
I just sort of just have tofocus on being present and
finding every little moment thatI can to really just hold on to
her, because they grow fast,dude.
Yeah, they grow so fucking fastman.
Yeah, the crying thank god forpeltors I didn't, I didn't think
(02:12):
of that that's a good idea.
That shit works, dude.
Um, she was.
She's a great baby.
She's always slept good butlike the first time my wife left
, and you know she she'sbreastfeeding, so she gets it
straight from the source.
She takes bottles now but likeshe's, she's a stop.
She prefers the real thing.
And the first time my wife leftto go do something, you know it
(02:35):
was just me and her.
It was like it was the, theidea of like I'm gonna put on my
baby harness and go do someproduction edit some stuff and
take care of the baby.
That lasted like 15 secondsbefore she shit through her
diaper and then immediatelyfucking, just fucking, did not
want to deal with life with meWanted milk and we hadn't tried
(02:58):
the bottle yet.
So it was like all in the spanof 45 minutes.
Yeah, like it.
Talk about like breaking underpressure.
I'm like this is I can'tfucking do this, oh my fucking
god.
And fucking trying to get abottle ready, trying to warm up
the milk, trying to figure itout.
And we figured it out.
Yeah, it was.
It was like then.
It was just like just just longenough for mom to get back home
(03:21):
and be like I don't know whatthe fuck I'm doing.
I, I thought I could figurethis out, yeah, but now we're
six months and you know, she'sfucking amazing dude.
Like there's nothing.
I have an amazing new beard trimbecause her favorite thing is
to pull chunks that's funny Ofmy beard out.
Nice, she raps on.
(03:41):
That's brutal.
But it's like that cartoon wegrew up with, the old warner
brothers looney tunes, butthere's one where the little
kitten is like clawing on theback of the dog.
The dog doesn't do anything, hejust takes the pain.
That's me with her.
Every day she claws my beard orpulls on my hair.
I'm just like it's fine, yeah,that's fine, I'm loving this
(04:02):
nice.
But yeah, yeah, she pulled itcompletely out.
I had a bald spot and I'm likeI have to go get a trim.
So, yeah, if anything you'll,you'll get used to maintaining
short hair and short beard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, it's a,it's a blessing man.
So what about you, man?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What's been the biggest hurdle for you as a new
dad man, I think?
Having to come to like therealization that my home is no
longer a place of rest andrelaxation, because I'm so used
to like getting home and justlike chilling or grabbing my
guitar or doing whatever, andnow it's like it's always like
helping my wife or helping thebaby, and then, like when I have
a second, I can do whatever Iwant to do.
And I'm still on baby leave forlike two more weeks.
So I took all 12 weeks, whichhas been good, and we were able
(04:51):
to like iron out our new likebattle rhythm, you know, and
like kind of figure out the newnormal and navigate that
together.
So I'm super grateful I had theopportunity to do that because I
think, had I just went back towork, like I was going to, I was
going to take like two weeks ofleave and then she came late.
So originally I was like, okay,I can take a month, then it's
three weeks, like okay, nowthey're inducing her.
It's like you can, I'm going totake two weeks.
(05:12):
And I got to go back to workand I'm glad that I ended up
just shifting gears in the workaspect so I could prioritize my,
my wife and my baby man kind offocus on that.
So I do.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
That's the real team.
That's that's the real thingthat matters.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's what's gonna it may not seem like it now but
it'll, it'll become your respite.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Well, I'm so close to retirement man.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Like I hit 18 years in january and it's like
anything that I do now in thearmy is like I'm not chasing any
promotions, I'm not trying tostay longer, I'm just trying to
get to 20 and, like you know,like focus on being a husband
and a father and there I justdidn't really feel like they had
much left to do.
You know, so it's easier now.
Now, if I was earlier in mycareer, younger in my career,
(05:55):
it'd be different.
I'm like, yeah, one week's goodGood luck, babe, I'm going to
be done with the army andthey're going to forget all
about me, but I have my wife andmy kid for the rest of my life,
hopefully, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So, yeah, you know, we learn a lot from the mistakes
and decisions of our friendsthat came before us and I was
fortunate enough to have goodfriends that gave me that solid
advice of like look, I fuckedeverything up at the very
beginning, with both my kidsstaying in while I was still in.
Like I didn't prioritize beingthere in those first few weeks.
(06:31):
Like it's really important foryou to be there, be present.
Like I took that advice really,like that went straight to the
heart, because those guys werespeaking from a point of like
regret, of like hey, make sureyou're're there.
All the little milestones, bepresent for those first few
weeks.
Yeah, I mean it's and it's it'shard fought information that
it's good to you.
Know, we, we have to pass thaton.
(06:53):
We have to live better, bebetter fathers and and promote
that man, because it was lost onme as a guy on the team, being
a father being present, and ittruly is like the most important
thing, like being there andheading back into the team room,
even though it's going to bethe end, like this has got to be
.
Like this is changing your,your mentality, is like changing
and evolving each, each day asyou move forward.
(07:14):
Man, yeah, but, um, dude, let'stake it back.
Man, uh, let's give the, theaudience, a little bit more of
intro and michael allen beforewe dive into yeah, you know,
more fatherhood stories.
Like let's dive into the themusician and, uh, the tactician
after, as, uh, they would say,man, like, how did you find
yourself in music?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
man.
So I started playing when I wasyoung and I I guess I don't
give my, my dad credit for much,but I'll give him credit for
like guiding me into musicbecause he always like had this
rock star dream uh, got me aguitar when I was younger.
I started playing, write musicand stuff, and then from there,
like I joined the army, playedoff and on a lot, honestly,
never really stuck.
(07:55):
There was, you know, like inthe barracks we would get drunk,
we play guitar guys like playthat song man.
So there was a lot of thatinconsistently.
But then two, two years ago Iquit drinking and I was like man
, like I'm struggling with, likewhat do I do with my time?
I used to drink a lot, just soI was bored.
You know, never really saw itas a problem, just saw it as
like killing time.
(08:15):
So I Googled one day I was likehow to be more present and the
first thing that came up wasplaying instrument.
So I was like man, let me blowthe dust off this guitar and
start jamming again, startedplaying.
It was like a year and then Istarted writing a lot of music
again.
Now, like I have this mentalclarity, you know, like that I
never knew I would have.
So I'm like writing songs thatare service related.
(08:35):
I'm writing music just aboutlife in general.
They'd bought a cheap guitar.
We're sitting on the roof ofthe team house and the guys come
up and they hear me playing.
They're like man, like that'sreally good, you know.
And then, like my company starmajor and uh, the company Warren
and stuff, like man, like youreally should share that stuff.
You have a gift, you know.
So like having the guys in mycorner and you could tell like
if they're being genuine or ifthey're like, yeah, man, like
(08:58):
that's that's good.
They're like no, like were likeno, like that's really good.
So I came home and I had somedowntime and I was like you know
what?
I'm gonna fucking fire up somesocial media and just start
sharing it.
Everyone's saying it's good.
Let me see, because I've alwaysbeen so insecure about it, I
never really thought it was thatgood and I'm not like a great
singer or a great guitar player,but I think I have a good
message and like I have a brand.
(09:20):
So I'm just kind of going withthat.
But uh, started playing,playing open mics, released the
single, my first single, warMachine, which did super awesome
.
And now I'm like playingwriters rounds and like little
gigs here and there down inNashville, like people are
booking me up here inClarksville, oh shit, yeah, and
I'm about to release another EPat the end of August.
So, yeah, man, I think it'ssomething I've always been
(09:43):
passionate about, which there'snot much else outside of the
Army that I've ever beenpassionate about besides.
Like exercise and playingguitar and writing, music brings
me fulfillment.
I get a lot of good feedbackout of it.
But also I don't really feellike I was meant to live an
ordinary life and as I creepcloser to retirement, I'm like
who am I going to be when I'mnot Master Sergeant Sandia, you
(10:04):
know what I'm saying.
Like.
Like who am I going to be whenI'm not Master Sergeant Sandia,
you know what I'm saying.
Like.
Like who am I outside?
I have no idea.
So I'm like trying to figure outmy identity now and, like the
music thing, good things keephappening, like just small wins
here and there.
Like you know what I'm going topursue it.
I'm not saying I'm like tryingto be a rock star, but I'm going
to continue to pursue it.
And like put in the work that Ican with the time that I have,
(10:25):
and see if it turns intosomething.
So at least when I do retire,like if it is a way to bring in
revenue, great Cause, it'ssomething that makes me happy.
If not, at least I tried and Ican show my kid or kids,
hopefully someday, that, hey man, like this music will be online
forever.
Like this is.
This is something I waspassionate about, something I
did.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Maybe you want to get into music, you know, yeah.
So yeah, we don't do a reallygood job of promoting dreaming,
like everybody, like the uh, theuh, the.
The thing that I always runinto is the um.
There's two the crab mentality.
Somebody has a dream, somebodyhas an idea.
That's not going intocontracting or defense tech and,
uh, people want to shit on it.
Maybe not right to your face,but in the in a, in a, the hater
threads.
(11:09):
Yeah, you'll see.
You'll see that.
And I want to say, man, likeit's.
If it's not for you, that's onething.
If you don't want to play music, that's fine.
But if you have somebody thatyou know like, what's it cost
you to be positive and supporttheir dream?
Absolutely nothing doesn't costyou to be positive and support
their dream Absolutely nothing.
It doesn't cost you anythingexcept a little bit of positive
energy to call us aroundsomebody that has a bigger dream
(11:30):
that's different than yours,and and and to help champion
that promote a post.
You know, just share somethinglike that's.
That's one of the easiestthings you can do.
Just be positive about somebodyand help them.
You know, stay on course.
It's see it through If ithappens, if you're a hundred
percent committed and, uh, youknow, fizzles out, it doesn't go
(11:51):
the right way, but at least youtry it, at least you gave it
your a hundred percent effort.
And I think the proof's in thepudding when, when you look at
your military career, man likeyou, you achieve something that
few people were willing toembark on.
It's not an easy thing to go toselection.
It's not easy to go through theq course and then continue
(12:11):
having a career.
So if anything that shows youthat the determination and and
the grit and the resilience isthere, it's, it's, it's been
built.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That's just up to you to figure it out, to continue
doing it and pushing it, man andI think, like my military
career and the route that I tookgives me the confidence that I
need to pursue something likemusic.
Um, yeah, because I mean I wentto selection I think I was like
34 made through the q cores atlike 35.
So like if I was like if I canbecome a green beret at 35 years
(12:42):
old or whatever it was, whycan't I maybe be a musician when
I retire at 41 years old?
You know, like I don't feellike anything's off the table.
I mean I will say that aboutlike selection and the Q course
and becoming a green beret.
I truly feel like I can doanything I put my mind to, like
because I overcame probably oneof the hardest obstacles known
(13:03):
to mankind for the most part,you know.
I mean obviously there's someother tiers above us that you
know you can try out for, butI'm way past that point so what
I did was good enough to give methe confidence so that when I
get out of the army I know likeall I got to do is put in the
effort and work hard and likethere's really nothing off the
table.
If it's something that I, thatI am willing to make the
sacrifices to do, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, I was, fortunate enough, one of the
other shows I produce, uh, theasset mindset.
We had scooter Brown on therefor a recent episode, this
week's episode and uh, one ofthe things he tapped into in
that episode was a lot of hisfriends were suffering and going
through things and he wasn'treally understanding, like, like
(13:45):
why he didn't have the identityin the crisis and and and sort
of the same pitfalls andtransition as his fellow marines
were doing, and it was one ofhis friends actually pointed it
out to him.
It's like hey, bro, you gotyour music.
Yeah, and uh, as you're goingin this journey, I mean pretty
soon you're going to be intransition, pretty soon you're
(14:06):
going to be going into this nextphase in life, like going
through your music right now.
Do you find it as beingcathartic as you're able to
maybe tap into some of thethings you've experienced?
Like you you talked about thefirst song you released, war
machine.
Do you feel it's easier for youto process maybe some of the
(14:28):
pain, some of the things you'veexperienced, since you're able
to flow and tap in that creativeoutlet?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
100% man.
There are things that I feellike I can say in a song, that I
feel like I can talk about itnow, like I'm a big advocate for
behavioral health and stuff, soI do that once a month.
But there are things I canwrite in a song that I used to
never be able to just like havea conversation about, and the
crazy thing about it is like Iwould go and play this song in
front of a whole bunch of peoplethat I don't even know.
So I'm like sharing all thesedeepest, darkest secrets that
(14:57):
affect my life with all thesestrangers, but to them, like,
they probably don't really know,they think it's just a song or,
you know, they related to it insome aspect.
But the other veterans outthere, like they know they
relate to it, you know, and withthat, so that helps me.
I feel like it helps me healbecause I'm getting it out there
in some form, whether it'shaving a conversation in a, in a
(15:17):
room, on a, on a couch, youknow like with the behavioral
health specialists, or on astage, sharing it with a bunch
of people.
I've gotten such good feedbackfrom some of my live sets Like I
had a one dude come up to me,he's like hey man, like I was a
combat medic I did four tours inIraq.
(15:37):
Every word of that song thatyou just sang, I felt like it
was my own, you know.
And like he's teary eyed.
Now I'm teary eyed and I'm like, dude, like that's what I want,
you know, like if my music canhelp me and help other people
like realize that they're notalone, like I'm just, you know,
I'm just putting good out thereI feel like so yeah, and that's
that's honestly like somethingthat that I think the world
needs more of.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
We don't need more more trauma on TV shows, movies
or podcasts.
We need somebody that can helpus like walk it back, process it
, and if we can do that withmusic, through songs, I mean,
it's it's.
It's not reinventing anything,man, it's people been doing it
for eons being able to connectthrough music and and and lyrics
.
We did it all yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And the crazy thing is like everyone's like man,
like that song.
Like if you tried to get thearmy or someone to play it, I
I'm like, honestly, man, my, mymusic doesn't glorify the army,
if anything.
Like they don't want people tohear my message because it's
going to make people think twiceabout like going to combat or
taking a combat role, cause itreally highlights the toll it
takes on you mentally andphysically.
(16:41):
And then, like I have songsabout addiction and the
heartbreak that comes with beinggone and lost and all that
stuff.
Like I'm talking about thethings that cause me pain.
Like maybe I'll write somehappy songs here and there.
Like I have some that are fun,but then they're just talking
about partying and getting drunkand like being reckless.
When you were young, you knowlike they're.
They're raw and unfiltered.
So I don't think the army'sever going to put my music on a
(17:02):
reel, but I know there's somecontent creators out there, some
that already have.
That's been super helpful.
So yeah, man.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, well, let's let's dive into that.
We have to understand thatbehind every powerful song there
, there's a lived experience,there's, there's pain that you
know more often than not isn'tinfluenced by a fictional story.
It's fueled by lived experience, man.
So, specifically with warmachine, man, like, break it
(17:33):
down for us, like what was, whatwas it like writing these songs
?
Or specifically war machine,like, what'd you take from from
your lived experience to put inthe?
You know, take it from the penand put it in the paper man.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So I wrote I actually wrote that song when I was in
the Q course.
I started it.
I didn't really finish it untilyou know, like I've released it
probably probably about a yearago is when I finally like got
what I wanted to have, and Iattribute that to quitting
drinking Cause again.
Like to quitting drinking Causeagain.
(18:09):
Like I gave me that clarity,but I was trying to be like more
poetic and like unique with mysongwriting.
So I tried to use like somemetaphors and stuff and like
taking you through the story oflike just being turned into a
soldier, you know, but almostlike into a robot.
Like you're built in thisfactory, you're desensitized,
you know.
Like you know they're givingyou all the ammo you need
mentally to go out and killsomebody without asking any
questions or which.
We could deep dive into thewhole g-watt thing and all the
skepticism around that, likewhat were we really doing there,
(18:31):
you know?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
yeah, bro, like abso-fucking-lutely.
You know, when you're, whenyou're a young man, you think
that, in terms of sciencefiction, you tend to think that
you're the good guys, you're therebel, rebel alliance, you're
going in after the bad guys.
Bro, this, the sad reality iswe were the empire, we, we were
stormtroopers, and that is,whether you want to admit it or
(18:54):
not, like when you peel thelayers all the way back.
What the fuck did we do?
Like there's?
There's no denying that.
The greatest feeling you canhave is the thing you have to
rationalize is you were there.
There were some bad people and,by and large, you were there.
There were some bad people and,by and large, you were there to
protect the guys and gals nextto you.
(19:16):
The greater strategicobjectives of our nation were
pretty fucking misaligned.
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(19:38):
No junk, no bullshit, justresults.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, yeah, man, and that's like we would do the same
thing if a country came overhere and invaded us because we
blame them on a terrorist attackon their soil.
And you know like it would, wewould.
We would rally and form our ownmilitias wherever we needed and
fight back, like every countrywould do that.
And I don't know that there'sno good answer.
(20:04):
You know like it's been, that'sbeen the story since the
beginning of mankind.
That's been the story since thebeginning of mankind.
Like your people will go fightwhen you tell them to, whether
they were volunteers, like weare nowadays, or back in the day
when you were voluntold, likeit doesn't matter and it's never
going to change.
I had this conversation not topivot from the song, but I had a
conversation with someone acouple of months ago.
(20:24):
He's like, yeah, like well, why?
Why do we have to have thesewars and this and that?
Have you ever heard?
Like diplomacy?
I'm like when has that everworked?
Dude man has never figured thatout, because they don't want it
.
At the end of the day, there'stoo many profits to be made off
of war, and that's my opinion onit, right, bro?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I agree with you.
Just look in the last 10 years,how many defense defense
companies have popped up andhere in the near in the in the
present moment, how manyinsanely well established and
very, very wealthy and backedcompanies are pushing the
envelope in tech and drones andlike defense tech man, yep, like
(21:07):
, it's literally like, yeah, theamount of money gets poured in
there, yeah, and theircommercials are like they have
the same budget as a marvelfucking movie.
It's crazy, real, yeah, bettermore labs fucking making insane
money, figuring out how to killpeople with cool tech and cool
(21:28):
robots.
Look, I'm a fan, I'm a fan, butat the end of the day, let's
not muddy the water as to why,uh, these companies are doing so
great.
It's because we we havedeveloped a very profitable,
very successful, yeah, economythat uh does well with war and
(21:48):
yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
So there's, that.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Which brings me to my next point.
Why do we drink so much?
Right, man?
That's funny, yeah, man, yeah,but it's good to see that in
your journey, you're also madethe decision to walk away from
alcohol.
That's something that I talkabout.
I don't think there's any valueto it.
I leave it up to you audience.
(22:14):
Uh, if you, if you think it'sgreat for you, All right, cool,
yeah, I just, I just think thatit's something that everybody
should have a conscious momentand make a decision.
And in your journey, in yourlife, how did you come to that
point, man?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Man.
So I was born into a life ofdrugs and alcohol and partying.
I was raised around it.
It's just kind of what my oldman did.
I didn't have the bestupbringing, as is common with
most people who join themilitary at least enlisted side
you know what I mean.
So it was just normal Growingup as a kid, partying and doing
(22:49):
drugs and drinking and thenjoining the army and then just
drinking, like it was such ahuge part of the culture I never
once second guessed it.
I'm like well, it's legalbecause I'm 21.
Certainly it's okay, you know.
And then as I get older and Istart to realize like why is it
legal?
But it causes so much harm anddeath and destruction.
(23:11):
But something like marijuana,which I'm not, I mean like when
I retire I'll probablyself-medicate, but you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Let's pause there.
Let's, let's just, let's justsay this it is one of the
greatest medicinal substancesout there, full stop.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But yet it's demonized.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It's demonized, abso-fucking-l, absolutely it's.
You utilize it for sleep?
For I was amazed when I went inand had my consultation with my
doctor that prescribed it forme, yeah, and literally said
well, I can give you a strainfor you to focus for work, and
I'm like wait a second yeah,this is to like zoom zone.
(23:49):
It's like, oh no, no, like thiscan help you and I shit you not
when I'm traveling down tomorrowto get a new prescription.
I shit you not.
The strain for focus was insane.
That's crazy.
When you have a due date andyou're working on something, how
stressed out are you whenyou're like very yeah, dude,
(24:13):
take a hit of your pen with yourprescribed amount for a for
clarity and focus and youliterally are sitting at your
desk doing what you need to do.
No stress, yeah, just simplyfocused.
Got my music going on.
It was a complete.
The same amount of work, thesame amount of stuff I had to do
(24:34):
without the, the, the pressure,that feeling of pressure, and
then sometimes it builds intolike, am I about to have a
fucking heart attack?
No, yeah, okay, here's all mydo-outs focus and it's not the
frantic energy.
So, just if you're listening athome and you're questioning
about it still, I'm telling youplease go get informed, go get a
(24:54):
consultation, get yourself anamazing pen or, if you want to
do it the old natural way,however you want to do it.
It's one of the best medicinesout there and I really wish that
military had access to it,because I would rather have
troops that could smoke on theweekend than get drunk and get
into violent car accidents thatdestroy.
(25:16):
I mean how many times in FortCampbell these young private's
lives are being ruined for DUIsBecause we promote that shit all
the time.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah, I don't see any difference.
Like don't show up to workdrunk, don't show up to work
high, and there's plenty of onthe spot tests they can do
nowadays to tell if you're underthe influence of marijuana.
I had a conversation withsomeone a couple weeks ago.
I was like 90% of the things Idid growing up that were just
dumb as hell was because I wasdrunk.
The other 10% was because I wasjust an asshole.
(25:47):
But most of the time the baddecisions I made were because I
was drinking and I eitherthought I could get away with it
or whatever.
Like and it also alcohol is theultimate gateway drug.
Yeah, any other drug that Iever participated in not that I
ever participated in anythroughout my military career
was because I was drunk.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, and you make bad decisionswhen you're drunk.
(26:09):
I don't care what anybody says.
Like, especially in a culturewhere, like, let's pregame to go
get more drunk and then let'safter party.
Like, let's just get as drunkas we possibly can on the
weekends, like I don't know dude, and I, yeah, my eyes finally
opened up to that shit and it'snot like I was drinking that
much.
That made me feel like I Ineeded to quit.
(26:30):
There was so many other thingsgoing on in my life and in my
head that I didn't wasn'tdealing with well, and like I
actually went to behavioralhealth at that point and I
hadn't, like, made the decisionto quit drinking yet.
And then we kind of had talkedabout it, and then I was
training for a little triathlon.
I was like, well, I'm going totry and quit drinking, just to
prep for it, you know.
(26:51):
And then I did that prep andthen I was like I never, I'm
just done with that, I don'twant to ever drink again.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, no, it's.
I wish more people would followalong, but it's such a big,
powerful influence and, um, yeah, it's.
I think everybody just needs tohave a pause and reflect on why
they drank and they realize alot of it's just the culture
we're brought up playing sports,thinking that, oh yeah, can't
(27:19):
wait till Friday night, go drink.
It's like it's fuckingworthless man, it doesn't do
anything, it's not a benefit andI think it exacerbates all the
symptoms of, you know, operatorsyndrome syndrome.
Everything that we're dealingwith, all the stress that we're
dealing with, it doesn't help,it doesn't make it any better,
it makes it worse.
It makes it worse.
(27:40):
I think we need to have a largerdiscussion with how we're
dealing with stress and ourmental health.
Man, like, and yeah, like, thething that's really difficult is
we're you're still in theprofession where it's getting
better, but still, by and large,it's difficult to talk amongst
our peers about the things thatwe're we're dealing with.
Yeah, it's difficult toadvocate for others and be able
(28:11):
to sit down with the youngergeneration of green berets and
be able to say like, hey, man,look like it's not about just
staying quiet, it's not aboutjust trying to ride this out
like.
You have to be able to come upto your leadership and talk
about it.
If you're stressed out oryou're dealing with something,
for sure you can overcome thisstuff like you can.
You can heal and recover thisstuff.
You can let it.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You can resolve this and be the best version of
yourself and stay in the fightand I mean I have got to that
point but it took me livingthrough it to get there.
Had I never had like thetraumatic experiences from
whether it's deployment or justyou know, life in general,
things that happen like yeah,and then getting to that point I
would probably still be moreyounger.
(28:49):
Me like don't be a bitchmentality, you know like man
suck it up and drive on.
You know, be a man.
You know, like that was thementality and that got me so far
in life and I had a successfulcareer with that mentality.
But personally it was justdestroying me, like internally,
you know.
And then finally, you know,like when I was like all right,
(29:11):
I'm going to get help for this,like too many people I know from
deployments, you know past,like I don't know how many guys
I was in that unit with thathave committed suicide since
then and that was like the redflag for me.
I was like man, we were allthere together, we all shared
similar experiences.
Maybe I'm not too far off, youknow, like let me just go talk
to somebody, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, that was kind of the start of it, but yeah,
what are some of the thingsthat's helped you Like?
One thing that I really wantpeople to understand is same the
resources that I use, resourcesthat you use, like you, the
audience at home, the individuallistening to it that might be
suffering, might be goingthrough something like it's not
about using every tool, it's notabout using every single thing
(29:53):
that I use, but maybe byhighlighting some of the things
that work for you, we can givethem options.
Like, if we could just diveinto that for a little bit, what
are some things that you reallyleaned on or utilize throughout
your journey?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So, again, like I'll say, like, especially in group.
I feel like we have a lot ofresources and the behavioral
health specialists that we have,you know, available to us.
That was the first thing that Iwent toward.
Physical fitness or like thingslike strenuous working out,
running, all those things werealways the number one, like
that's what got me, probablyhelped me, survive to this point
(30:28):
without actually seeing aprofessional.
It's trying to stay busy, youknow, and like having being goal
oriented to write, likesomething to focus on, because
usually it's like idle handsthat end up with a beer in them.
You know what I mean.
So that's a T-shirt, right?
Speaker 1 (30:43):
there, dude.
I just came up with that, dude.
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I won't steal the idea.
I won't steal the idea.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
That's yours, man yeah, so staying busy, man, and
just like trying to distractmyself in the beginning talking
to people and then not, notmaking it public, right, like
you don't have to tell anybodythat you're quitting drinking,
because then there's thisawkward pressure because now
you're the weird one, becauseit's normal to drink, it's not
(31:24):
normal to be sober.
(31:51):
no-transcript this I can't befriends with you because you
drink and I don't.
So not publicizing it, man,like keeping it to yourself,
like it's your own internalthing anyway.
And there are people you canhave to talk to.
But on the flip side of that,like you need a good support
system.
Support system.
So, whether that's your wife,you know it was great, my wife,
(32:12):
not that she ever drank thatmuch anyway, but I quit drinking
.
So she quit drinking.
She's like, well, I'm not goingto drink by myself, you know.
So like it's much easier tohave that.
So it's like now, when we goout to eat, it's like I'm not
getting a glass of wine.
Well, she's not getting a glassof wine either.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
it, man, certainly is for us man we in my household
that the only thing that, uh, Itell people is just, if you're
not married, like it's easier,but if you are, have that
discussion with your, with your,with your wife, with your
family.
Yeah, let them know like thatway that yeah, it can, it can
(32:45):
just be a solid effort acrossthe board.
And then they don't look at youweird when all of a sudden you
don't drink anymore and yeah,she's buying fucking a trunk, a
caseload of fucking alcohol,bringing it to the house yeah,
now I have a an unhealthyobsession with la croix.
Like sparkling waters, dudefunny thing you say that mine's
(33:06):
liquid death.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I did la croix for a long time but uh, I love liquid
death man but it even like, likeI can still go out in a social
setting or go to a bar and Ijust order soda water and no one
bats an eye.
But because the anxiety of notknowing what to do with my hands
, initially, dude, I was likefreaking out.
I was like I'm never gonna beable to be in public again.
I was like let me just, let mejust hold on to something you
know.
(33:27):
So I started ordering sodawater.
So now I'm pissing as much aseverybody else at the bar
because I'm super hydrated butI'm not spending any money and
drunk people don't know thatyou're not drinking, dude, and
you would turn down a shot.
Most of them like, okay, cool,you know.
Like you just keep drinkingyour soda water, man, like no
one bats an eye.
So that was helpful.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Uh, yeah, I haven't had a weird interaction with
somebody once they found outlike I do the same thing or I
just order um cokes, likeespecially if I'm overseas.
Like I noticed that and like in, uh, in france like they still
have the, the good cane sugarcoke.
So I was like hell yeah, I'lldrink some coca-cola.
And people I'm like, hey, justput it in like a mixed drink
glass.
People think I'm like reallydrinking something.
(34:07):
Just be like the, really likeannoying cheesy dude.
Like I get a Jack and Coke,hold the Jack.
Yeah, just be a bonerCompletely.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, what else, man, go ahead, I was going to say,
to like getting off social mediaman, the stress and anxiety
that this shit causes, and likeI use it.
Now I'm back on because I'm ata stable place and I'm trying to
promote my music, but beforethat it served me nothing other
than just giving me anxiety andconstantly comparing myself to
(34:37):
other people, but never, everhelping me get to a point where
it was going to help me besuccessful dude.
So I got off that for a longtime and then the most helpful
thing for me again it's beenplaying guitar and write music.
Yeah, and speaking of music, yougot um, you got a new, um new
song coming out right yeah, Igot a whole ep coming out, man,
so there'll be four songs on it,all done with like a full
(35:00):
arrangement in the studio.
Um, I'm gonna call it the warat home, and it really
highlights a little bit ofeverything, man.
Like there's some stuff aboutgrief and like reflecting on
killing someone in combat, andthen there's a happy song about
going home on leave and justpartying with your boys, but
ultimately, like it's all thingsthat they kind of happen at
home, so that'll be out aroundlabor day, okay, but yeah it's
(35:23):
coming up pretty soon, prettysoon, man.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah, it just sucks, man, because you know somebody
won't be able to reallyunderstand what that's like, tim
Kennedy, that song will nothelp you Tim man Dude, so that
whole thing.
I had to throw that one in.
That was perfect.
You served it up on a platter.
(35:46):
But yeah, unintentionally.
Another one, no, but um, it's.
Uh, it's awesome to like, havesomething to look forward to,
like this, so we can all likesupport.
Is it going to drop on spotify?
How do we get it?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
man, so it'll be on all major streaming platforms.
The easiest way, honestly, isbecause every like I spotify and
apple music are the biggestones, but it'll be out on
everything.
But, uh, if you go to myinstagram the tactician musician
and just hit my link tree Like,you can follow me on all the
different platforms so you canpre-save it and then it'll just
pop up on a day releases andyou're in your saved songs and
(36:20):
stuff.
So awesome.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
And how does it?
How does that work for revenue?
How do we support youfinancially?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
man, Honestly, at this point it's just about
exposure.
So like when, when peopleactually pre-save.
So it's all about beating thealgorithm Right and as like an
independent artist with verysmall following to go and follow
my, my Spotify page or myartist page and then actually
stream the song but thenactually add it to your playlist
, like all those things, get thestreaming platforms to keep
(36:49):
pushing it out because it showsthat people are interested in it
.
But if you just go listen to it, like that doesn't do much and
if you don't like it, don'tlisten to it.
I'm not saying like you know,like if it sucks, you know
honestly, if it sucks you betterfucking like it.
Hey, if you don't like it, tellme you don't like it on my
social media so that you canhelp me out in that aspect.
(37:13):
Like I don't really care, Idon't expect everyone to like my
music, I'm fine with that, butyeah man just following adding
to your playlist shit like that.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
that helps me for sure, awesome.
And then when are youofficially going to be jumping
on a tour man?
Is that in the cards anytimesoon?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I mean honestly again , I still have two years left in
the army.
So my goal right now is likebranding myself and like
building out my network, inwhich I have done a pretty good
job at in the short amount oftime that I've been doing this.
So I know over the next liketwo years I can keep doing that.
But yeah, that's the goal, man,just hopefully after the army.
Yeah, I would like to do that.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Uh, and I've had shit , leave man, take some, leave,
do a summer tour.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
So we'll see.
Man, I had a like a small labelreach out to me the other day
Like hey man, like send me like10 more of your songs.
We want to listen to them.
We're supposed to sign anotherartist this quarter, Um, so I'm
hoping to hear back from himsoon.
If nothing comes of it, Ihonestly don't care, Like
because the fact that people arereaching out to me with even a
little bit of interest, that'swhat matters.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
It means I'm doing something right.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what matters, dude.
It's.
Yeah, we're.
We're not in similar sort ofwe're.
We're both in a in a, trying tocreate something and generate a
following, and it's not easy.
Not easy when there isn't anexact um you know, fucking
blueprint.
There's not a big label backingyou, but you're in arguably one
(38:42):
of the best areas to be doingthis for sure, like you're,
you're.
You're in an area where it'slike, bro, if you're gonna get
discovered, there's no like ifyou were a brag, that'd be one
thing yeah, and I'm taking fulladvantage of it, dude yeah, dude
, you're natchville's rightthere man yeah
you're in an area where it'slike fuck, do you like you can
(39:02):
meet some heavy hitters and, um,when we get offline, I'll uh,
we'll talk a little bit, becauseI have somebody that you need
to talk to to get involved and Iknow for a fact they're gonna
be happy like to, to connectwith you and talk to you through
some stuff.
But there's a lot of veteransin the music space.
There's a lot of veterans withorigin stories like yours that
(39:24):
are successful musicians rightnow.
The g walk created a lot offucking musicians.
Some are pretty well known,some are are in the trenches and
they're making money as writers.
Dude, that's the crazy part.
So I don't think that yourdream is as crazy as as as as
some people might think.
(39:44):
I think it's very realistic.
Dude Like, you have the ability, you have the talent.
It's just the showmanship andthe and the passion behind it.
I would argue that every eventaround the area, man like you
should be fucking playing.
Dude Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I don't say no to anything.
If someone asked me to comeplay somewhere, like, I'm there,
you know and I've had like somesome paid gigs and some people
that offer.
But like, at the end of the day,like I'll, I'll play for free
if it's a, if it's, you know, ifI get one follower or one fan
each place, I play.
Like that's, that's good enoughfor me, you know.
So I'm driving down theManchester on Saturday to play
(40:21):
with some other veteranmusicians for this big like
veterans.
Uh, the DAV and then the, theAmerican Legion are putting out
a pretty big show on Saturday.
So I'm going to go down thereand like, and I'm'm, like, I'm
the opening act, right, like,and that's cool, though like I
don't care, dude that's fuckingawesome dude yeah, so I'm gonna
go play that little guy.
And then I got a writers like amusic songwriters festival in
kahuta, georgia.
(40:41):
Never even heard of this placebut they emailed me.
It's in october, it's like fourhours away.
I'm like dude, I'll, I'll bethere, you know, like so yeah,
little by little we'll travelyeah, 100, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
So for sure, man yeah , dude, these are huge
milestones, man, these are greatfucking things that we need to
celebrate.
Man, like they're not little byany means, dude.
Like every fucking personrallying around you, every new
fucking subscriber, every newfollower, that's fucking huge
dude.
Like, yeah, it's a, you'rebuilding something that's gonna
let me dude, before we know it,you're gonna be if like 100,
(41:14):
you're gonna be fully signed andback musician and I'm going to
be hitting you up to get my dogshit podcast, a little bit of
promotion, and you're gonna belike who the fuck is this
asshole?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
no, I don't have time for this.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Not a chance dude tell, tell the publicist to
delete that fucking email.
Dear michael, remember when youwere on Security Hall a couple
years back?
Just saw your music video onCMT.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, dude, do you have anydreams of being able to play on
the Grand Ole Opry man?
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Honestly, man, I would.
I don't really classify myselfas like country, but I don't
really care about genres neither.
Like I play what sounds goodand my stuff probably gears more
towards like alternative rockand stuff.
But if I was invited I would doit.
But honestly, like, my dream ismore like intimate setting,
like think uh, alice in Chains,unplugged 1993.
(42:08):
Like that's pretty fuckingspecific resonates in my head
dude.
I listened to that every timebefore I go play a gig.
Dude, like that, that setting.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
You know what I'm talking about though, right yeah
you know exactly what I'mtalking about exactly like if I
could play shows like that, likethat would consider that a
successful, like that's goodit's better than saying, like
you know, my, my ideal gig is,you know, I, I, before my gig, I
listened to the rooster byAlice in Chains as I chain smoke
cigars.
No, yeah, I do.
(42:45):
I do think that, like I, Ithink there's.
I used to hate country, I usedto fucking hate country, but one
thing that, not like modern popcountry, but having friends
that introduced me to like theoutlaw country, having listened
to your music, I feel likethere's there's an easy segue
(43:05):
for the grittiness and the painto be really well like to come
through and shine through in inthat style of music from you.
I think you have the voice forit.
I think that you have thetalent for it.
I don't know, maybe explore it,man, cause, like I said, you
got, you got.
You got a lot of talent, man,you got a lot of talent.
That you know.
There's something to be saidabout the guy that walks up to a
(43:26):
party, pulls out an Like okay,I used to be that guy.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Maybe in like high school.
I think that's one of the firstsongs I ever learned, man.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
It's what time?
Is it 10 pm?
All right, yeah, let me go baga girl real quick.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
Oh my God, yeah, yeah, hell,yeah, dude, but real quick,
before I let you go, man, canyou tell us about these songs
that will be dropping the names?
(43:59):
What's the theme, what were thethings that got you to write
these songs, and to release them.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
So the first one is Jar of Flies, right, and it's
just kind of capturing all thenoise, right, Whether it's
social media, the news, thepaper, your boss, your teacher,
your parent constantly barkingat you.
You know, like someone'salready telling you how to live
and like what to do, and likeit's just noise, man, Like you
need to just turn it off, andit's kind of like how you're
searching for a way to get awayfrom it.
(44:23):
So that's the one that'll be on.
There is jar of flies.
The next one is lingering love.
It's kind of a breakup song.
You know, you break up, you'reback together.
You break up, you're backtogether and you're like you
know it's time to let go, butyou don't want to do it because
there is some love there still,but it's just not going to work.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah, it's like every G-WAT relationship.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, that's why the album is called War at Home.
One more deployment, we can doone more deployment yeah, blood
is reflecting on killing someone, and then like having guilt and
carrying that with youafterwards.
And then the last one man, whatwas it?
Oh, two weeks to burn, man.
It's about going home on leaveand just like, from the time the
wheels touched on the airplaneto the time, like you're just
(45:05):
going like blazing the trail,like having a fun with your boys
partying for two weeks, andthen you're back at home or
you're back overseas, your R&Ris over, you know.
So it's more of like a fun,happy one.
And then I'll probably put aslow down on there too, which
was a single I recently released, but I didn't promote it very
well, and that one's alreadystreaming, so people can go
(45:26):
check that one out already onSpotify and everything.
But yeah, so there'll be fivesongs on it.
The word home I'm looking atLabor Day weekend release.
So you can find me, michaelAllen, on all the streaming
platforms.
But Michael Allen is a supercommon name, so easiest bet is
just go to the TacticianMusician on my IG and then hit
the link tree.
It'll have you follow it, andso I'm big and famous.
Michael Allen is just anotherdude right now, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Every great artist pivots to a different name.
I mean, just look at the greatsbefore you.
Puff Daddy, oh man, come on.
The artist formerly known asPrince oh, that's funny.
Oh man, michael Allen, thetactician musician.
It is a pleasure to have you onhere, man.
If you guys pause right now, goto the episode description.
(46:09):
All those links are right there.
Do me a favor, go ahead andfollow on all major platforms.
Support my guy.
Send him a friend.
Go ahead and follow on allmajor platforms.
Support my guy.
Send him a friend request onInstagram.
Are you on Facebook as well?
Awesome, go there as well.
Send him a friend request.
Look like it's.
If it's not your dream, it'snot your dream, but we should be
able to support our servicemembers, our veterans, with
(46:30):
their dreams.
Not everybody wants to be amusician, but hey, if your
brother wants to go, do that,support him and support Michael.
Go over there, give him a like,give him a share, give him a
follow and then head on over toSecurity Hot Podcast on YouTube
and give us a subscribe.
I am in the fucking trenches,folks.
Leave me a review.
I don't care what you say.
Denny's fucking rad.
I don't care at.
I don't care.
Whatever you say, put it onthere and then give me five
(46:53):
stars.
I'd really appreciate it.
I'm Danny Cabrero.
Thank you for tuning in.
We'll see you all next time.
Until then, take care, boom.
Securepodcast is proudlysponsored by Titan's Arms.
Head over to the episodedescription and check out
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Head over to the episodedescription and check out
Titan's Arms today.
Michael Allen, how's it going,man?
What's up, man?
How you been?
I'm good man, fucking.
I have Dealing with a burnoutcold Every once in a while.
You're working super hard,staying up super late, burning
(00:20):
multiple fucking things down andyour body says you gotta slow
down, but I can't stop won'tstop.
You gotta keep grinding man youhave no fucking idea, man dude,
how you been man I'm good man.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's definitely been, I think, what we talked in
february last time, right, it'sbeen a roller coaster.
Since then, man, a lot ofthings have happened, a lot of
things have changed, so let's go, man, let's dive into it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Man, we're.
We're both new dads Getting upvery straight.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, we can start with that.
That's crazy.
That was your first right.
Yeah, that was our first.
Yeah, Dude, nobody told meabout the newborn trenches.
Yeah, dude, we had this babyand we always were like all
right, finances are good,career's good, marriage is good,
everything's good like we'reready to have a kid.
And then the baby got here andwe're like, dude, we were not
(01:06):
ready.
No one's ever ready yeah, andthat's that's what everyone said
.
But I was like no, that'sbullshit, you know, like we're
good, like we're ready for this,and then we figured out real
fast that we weren't ready.
So we're just making shit up aswe go.
Man, she's still alive, so Ithink we're doing pretty good.
Yeah, oh shit.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Girl Dad Congrats.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Do you have a boy, girl, girl.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Nice yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It's, um, it's amazing man.
I read and everybody sends youtheir favorite books on what to
what to expect.
That'd be a better dad at amoment, and I'm blessed, man.
My wife does all the research,she does all the crunchy granola
(01:47):
mom stuff.
She figures everything out.
I just sort of just have tofocus on being present and
finding every little moment thatI can to really just hold on to
her, because they grow fast,dude.
Yeah, they grow so fucking fastman.
Yeah, the crying thank god forpeltors I didn't, I didn't think
(02:12):
of that that's a good idea.
That shit works, dude.
Um, she was.
She's a great baby.
She's always slept good butlike the first time my wife left
, and you know she she'sbreastfeeding, so she gets it
straight from the source.
She takes bottles now but likeshe's, she's a stop.
She prefers the real thing.
And the first time my wife leftto go do something, you know it
(02:35):
was just me and her.
It was like it was the, theidea of like I'm gonna put on my
baby harness and go do someproduction edit some stuff and
take care of the baby.
That lasted like 15 secondsbefore she shit through her
diaper and then immediatelyfucking, just fucking, did not
want to deal with life with meWanted milk and we hadn't tried
(02:58):
the bottle yet.
So it was like all in the spanof 45 minutes.
Yeah, like it.
Talk about like breaking underpressure.
I'm like this is I can'tfucking do this, oh my fucking
god.
And fucking trying to get abottle ready, trying to warm up
the milk, trying to figure itout.
And we figured it out.
Yeah, it was.
It was like then.
It was just like just just longenough for mom to get back home
(03:21):
and be like I don't know whatthe fuck I'm doing.
I, I thought I could figurethis out, yeah, but now we're
six months and you know, she'sfucking amazing dude.
Like there's nothing.
I have an amazing new beard trimbecause her favorite thing is
to pull chunks that's funny Ofmy beard out.
Nice, she raps on.
(03:41):
That's brutal.
But it's like that cartoon wegrew up with, the old warner
brothers looney tunes, butthere's one where the little
kitten is like clawing on theback of the dog.
The dog doesn't do anything, hejust takes the pain.
That's me with her.
Every day she claws my beard orpulls on my hair.
I'm just like it's fine, yeah,that's fine, I'm loving this
(04:02):
nice.
But yeah, yeah, she pulled itcompletely out.
I had a bald spot and I'm likeI have to go get a trim.
So, yeah, if anything you'll,you'll get used to maintaining
short hair and short beard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, it's a,it's a blessing man.
So what about you, man?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What's been the biggest hurdle for you as a new
dad man, I think?
Having to come to like therealization that my home is no
longer a place of rest andrelaxation, because I'm so used
to like getting home and justlike chilling or grabbing my
guitar or doing whatever, andnow it's like it's always like
helping my wife or helping thebaby, and then, like when I have
a second, I can do whatever Iwant to do.
And I'm still on baby leave forlike two more weeks.
So I took all 12 weeks, whichhas been good, and we were able
(04:51):
to like iron out our new likebattle rhythm, you know, and
like kind of figure out the newnormal and navigate that
together.
So I'm super grateful I had theopportunity to do that because I
think, had I just went back towork, like I was going to, I was
going to take like two weeks ofleave and then she came late.
So originally I was like, okay,I can take a month, then it's
three weeks, like okay, nowthey're inducing her.
It's like you can, I'm going totake two weeks.
(05:12):
And I got to go back to workand I'm glad that I ended up
just shifting gears in the workaspect so I could prioritize my,
my wife and my baby man kind offocus on that.
So I do.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
That's the real team.
That's that's the real thingthat matters.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's what's gonna it may not seem like it now but
it'll, it'll become your respite.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Well, I'm so close to retirement man.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Like I hit 18 years in january and it's like
anything that I do now in thearmy is like I'm not chasing any
promotions, I'm not trying tostay longer, I'm just trying to
get to 20 and, like you know,like focus on being a husband
and a father and there I justdidn't really feel like they had
much left to do.
You know, so it's easier now.
Now, if I was earlier in mycareer, younger in my career,
(05:55):
it'd be different.
I'm like, yeah, one week's goodGood luck, babe, I'm going to
be done with the army andthey're going to forget all
about me, but I have my wife andmy kid for the rest of my life,
hopefully, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So, yeah, you know, we learn a lot from the mistakes
and decisions of our friendsthat came before us and I was
fortunate enough to have goodfriends that gave me that solid
advice of like look, I fuckedeverything up at the very
beginning, with both my kidsstaying in while I was still in.
Like I didn't prioritize beingthere in those first few weeks.
(06:31):
Like it's really important foryou to be there, be present.
Like I took that advice really,like that went straight to the
heart, because those guys werespeaking from a point of like
regret, of like hey, make sureyou're're there.
All the little milestones, bepresent for those first few
weeks.
Yeah, I mean it's and it's it'shard fought information that
it's good to you.
Know, we, we have to pass thaton.
(06:53):
We have to live better, bebetter fathers and and promote
that man, because it was lost onme as a guy on the team, being
a father being present, and ittruly is like the most important
thing, like being there andheading back into the team room,
even though it's going to bethe end, like this has got to be
.
Like this is changing your,your mentality, is like changing
and evolving each, each day asyou move forward.
(07:14):
Man, yeah, but, um, dude, let'stake it back.
Man, uh, let's give the, theaudience, a little bit more of
intro and michael allen beforewe dive into yeah, you know,
more fatherhood stories.
Like let's dive into the themusician and, uh, the tactician
after, as, uh, they would say,man, like, how did you find
yourself in music?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
man.
So I started playing when I wasyoung and I I guess I don't
give my, my dad credit for much,but I'll give him credit for
like guiding me into musicbecause he always like had this
rock star dream uh, got me aguitar when I was younger.
I started playing, write musicand stuff, and then from there,
like I joined the army, playedoff and on a lot, honestly,
never really stuck.
(07:55):
There was, you know, like inthe barracks we would get drunk,
we play guitar guys like playthat song man.
So there was a lot of thatinconsistently.
But then two, two years ago Iquit drinking and I was like man
, like I'm struggling with, likewhat do I do with my time?
I used to drink a lot, just soI was bored.
You know, never really saw itas a problem, just saw it as
like killing time.
(08:15):
So I Googled one day I was likehow to be more present and the
first thing that came up wasplaying instrument.
So I was like man, let me blowthe dust off this guitar and
start jamming again, startedplaying.
It was like a year and then Istarted writing a lot of music
again.
Now, like I have this mentalclarity, you know, like that I
never knew I would have.
So I'm like writing songs thatare service related.
(08:35):
I'm writing music just aboutlife in general.
They'd bought a cheap guitar.
We're sitting on the roof ofthe team house and the guys come
up and they hear me playing.
They're like man, like that'sreally good, you know.
And then, like my company starmajor and uh, the company Warren
and stuff, like man, like youreally should share that stuff.
You have a gift, you know.
So like having the guys in mycorner and you could tell like
if they're being genuine or ifthey're like, yeah, man, like
(08:58):
that's that's good.
They're like no, like were likeno, like that's really good.
So I came home and I had somedowntime and I was like you know
what?
I'm gonna fucking fire up somesocial media and just start
sharing it.
Everyone's saying it's good.
Let me see, because I've alwaysbeen so insecure about it, I
never really thought it was thatgood and I'm not like a great
singer or a great guitar player,but I think I have a good
message and like I have a brand.
(09:20):
So I'm just kind of going withthat.
But uh, started playing,playing open mics, released the
single, my first single, warMachine, which did super awesome
.
And now I'm like playingwriters rounds and like little
gigs here and there down inNashville, like people are
booking me up here inClarksville, oh shit, yeah, and
I'm about to release another EPat the end of August.
So, yeah, man, I think it'ssomething I've always been
(09:43):
passionate about, which there'snot much else outside of the
Army that I've ever beenpassionate about besides.
Like exercise and playingguitar and writing, music brings
me fulfillment.
I get a lot of good feedbackout of it.
But also I don't really feellike I was meant to live an
ordinary life and as I creepcloser to retirement, I'm like
who am I going to be when I'mnot Master Sergeant Sandia, you
(10:04):
know what I'm saying.
Like.
Like who am I going to be whenI'm not Master Sergeant Sandia,
you know what I'm saying.
Like.
Like who am I outside?
I have no idea.
So I'm like trying to figure outmy identity now and, like the
music thing, good things keephappening, like just small wins
here and there.
Like you know what I'm going topursue it.
I'm not saying I'm like tryingto be a rock star, but I'm going
to continue to pursue it.
And like put in the work that Ican with the time that I have,
(10:25):
and see if it turns intosomething.
So at least when I do retire,like if it is a way to bring in
revenue, great Cause, it'ssomething that makes me happy.
If not, at least I tried and Ican show my kid or kids,
hopefully someday, that, hey man, like this music will be online
forever.
Like this is.
This is something I waspassionate about, something I
did.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Maybe you want to get into music, you know, yeah.
So yeah, we don't do a reallygood job of promoting dreaming,
like everybody, like the uh, theuh, the.
The thing that I always runinto is the um.
There's two the crab mentality.
Somebody has a dream, somebodyhas an idea.
That's not going intocontracting or defense tech and,
uh, people want to shit on it.
Maybe not right to your face,but in the in a, in a, the hater
threads.
(11:09):
Yeah, you'll see.
You'll see that.
And I want to say, man, likeit's.
If it's not for you, that's onething.
If you don't want to play music, that's fine.
But if you have somebody thatyou know like, what's it cost
you to be positive and supporttheir dream?
Absolutely nothing doesn't costyou to be positive and support
their dream Absolutely nothing.
It doesn't cost you anythingexcept a little bit of positive
energy to call us aroundsomebody that has a bigger dream
(11:30):
that's different than yours,and and and to help champion
that promote a post.
You know, just share somethinglike that's.
That's one of the easiestthings you can do.
Just be positive about somebodyand help them.
You know, stay on course.
It's see it through If ithappens, if you're a hundred
percent committed and, uh, youknow, fizzles out, it doesn't go
(11:51):
the right way, but at least youtry it, at least you gave it
your a hundred percent effort.
And I think the proof's in thepudding when, when you look at
your military career, man likeyou, you achieve something that
few people were willing toembark on.
It's not an easy thing to go toselection.
It's not easy to go through theq course and then continue
(12:11):
having a career.
So if anything that shows youthat the determination and and
the grit and the resilience isthere, it's, it's, it's been
built.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
That's just up to you to figure it out, to continue
doing it and pushing it, man andI think, like my military
career and the route that I tookgives me the confidence that I
need to pursue something likemusic.
Um, yeah, because I mean I wentto selection I think I was like
34 made through the q cores atlike 35.
So like if I was like if I canbecome a green beret at 35 years
(12:42):
old or whatever it was, whycan't I maybe be a musician when
I retire at 41 years old?
You know, like I don't feellike anything's off the table.
I mean I will say that aboutlike selection and the Q course
and becoming a green beret.
I truly feel like I can doanything I put my mind to, like
because I overcame probably oneof the hardest obstacles known
(13:03):
to mankind for the most part,you know.
I mean obviously there's someother tiers above us that you
know you can try out for, butI'm way past that point so what
I did was good enough to give methe confidence so that when I
get out of the army I know likeall I got to do is put in the
effort and work hard and likethere's really nothing off the
table.
If it's something that I, thatI am willing to make the
sacrifices to do, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, I was, fortunate enough, one of the
other shows I produce, uh, theasset mindset.
We had scooter Brown on therefor a recent episode, this
week's episode and uh, one ofthe things he tapped into in
that episode was a lot of hisfriends were suffering and going
through things and he wasn'treally understanding, like, like
(13:45):
why he didn't have the identityin the crisis and and and sort
of the same pitfalls andtransition as his fellow marines
were doing, and it was one ofhis friends actually pointed it
out to him.
It's like hey, bro, you gotyour music.
Yeah, and uh, as you're goingin this journey, I mean pretty
soon you're going to be intransition, pretty soon you're
(14:06):
going to be going into this nextphase in life, like going
through your music right now.
Do you find it as beingcathartic as you're able to
maybe tap into some of thethings you've experienced?
Like you you talked about thefirst song you released, war
machine.
Do you feel it's easier for youto process maybe some of the
(14:28):
pain, some of the things you'veexperienced, since you're able
to flow and tap in that creativeoutlet?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
100% man.
There are things that I feellike I can say in a song, that I
feel like I can talk about itnow, like I'm a big advocate for
behavioral health and stuff, soI do that once a month.
But there are things I canwrite in a song that I used to
never be able to just like havea conversation about, and the
crazy thing about it is like Iwould go and play this song in
front of a whole bunch of peoplethat I don't even know.
So I'm like sharing all thesedeepest, darkest secrets that
(14:57):
affect my life with all thesestrangers, but to them, like,
they probably don't really know,they think it's just a song or,
you know, they related to it insome aspect.
But the other veterans outthere, like they know they
relate to it, you know, and withthat, so that helps me.
I feel like it helps me healbecause I'm getting it out there
in some form, whether it'shaving a conversation in a, in a
(15:17):
room, on a, on a couch, youknow like with the behavioral
health specialists, or on astage, sharing it with a bunch
of people.
I've gotten such good feedbackfrom some of my live sets Like I
had a one dude come up to me,he's like hey man, like I was a
combat medic I did four tours inIraq.
(15:37):
Every word of that song thatyou just sang, I felt like it
was my own, you know.
And like he's teary eyed.
Now I'm teary eyed and I'm like, dude, like that's what I want,
you know, like if my music canhelp me and help other people
like realize that they're notalone, like I'm just, you know,
I'm just putting good out thereI feel like so yeah, and that's
that's honestly like somethingthat that I think the world
needs more of.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
We don't need more more trauma on TV shows, movies
or podcasts.
We need somebody that can helpus like walk it back, process it
, and if we can do that withmusic, through songs, I mean,
it's it's.
It's not reinventing anything,man, it's people been doing it
for eons being able to connectthrough music and and and lyrics
.
We did it all yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And the crazy thing is like everyone's like man,
like that song.
Like if you tried to get thearmy or someone to play it, I
I'm like, honestly, man, my, mymusic doesn't glorify the army,
if anything.
Like they don't want people tohear my message because it's
going to make people think twiceabout like going to combat or
taking a combat role, cause itreally highlights the toll it
takes on you mentally andphysically.
(16:41):
And then, like I have songsabout addiction and the
heartbreak that comes with beinggone and lost and all that
stuff.
Like I'm talking about thethings that cause me pain.
Like maybe I'll write somehappy songs here and there.
Like I have some that are fun,but then they're just talking
about partying and getting drunkand like being reckless.
When you were young, you knowlike they're.
They're raw and unfiltered.
So I don't think the army'sever going to put my music on a
(17:02):
reel, but I know there's somecontent creators out there, some
that already have.
That's been super helpful.
So yeah, man.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, well, let's let's dive into that.
We have to understand thatbehind every powerful song there
, there's a lived experience,there's, there's pain that you
know more often than not isn'tinfluenced by a fictional story.
It's fueled by lived experience, man.
So, specifically with warmachine, man, like, break it
(17:33):
down for us, like what was, whatwas it like writing these songs
?
Or specifically war machine,like, what'd you take from from
your lived experience to put inthe?
You know, take it from the penand put it in the paper man.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So I wrote I actually wrote that song when I was in
the Q course.
I started it.
I didn't really finish it untilyou know, like I've released it
probably probably about a yearago is when I finally like got
what I wanted to have, and Iattribute that to quitting
drinking Cause again.
Like to quitting drinking Causeagain.
(18:09):
Like I gave me that clarity,but I was trying to be like more
poetic and like unique with mysongwriting.
So I tried to use like somemetaphors and stuff and like
taking you through the story oflike just being turned into a
soldier, you know, but almostlike into a robot.
Like you're built in thisfactory, you're desensitized,
you know.
Like you know they're givingyou all the ammo you need
mentally to go out and killsomebody without asking any
questions or which.
We could deep dive into thewhole g-watt thing and all the
skepticism around that, likewhat were we really doing there,
(18:31):
you know?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
yeah, bro, like abso-fucking-lutely.
You know, when you're, whenyou're a young man, you think
that, in terms of sciencefiction, you tend to think that
you're the good guys, you're therebel, rebel alliance, you're
going in after the bad guys.
Bro, this, the sad reality iswe were the empire, we, we were
stormtroopers, and that is,whether you want to admit it or
(18:54):
not, like when you peel thelayers all the way back.
What the fuck did we do?
Like there's?
There's no denying that.
The greatest feeling you canhave is the thing you have to
rationalize is you were there.
There were some bad people and,by and large, you were there.
There were some bad people and,by and large, you were there to
protect the guys and gals nextto you.
(19:16):
The greater strategicobjectives of our nation were
pretty fucking misaligned.
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(19:38):
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Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, yeah, man, and that's like we would do the same
thing if a country came overhere and invaded us because we
blame them on a terrorist attackon their soil.
And you know like it would, wewould.
We would rally and form our ownmilitias wherever we needed and
fight back, like every countrywould do that.
And I don't know that there'sno good answer.
(20:04):
You know like it's been, that'sbeen the story since the
beginning of mankind.
That's been the story since thebeginning of mankind.
Like your people will go fightwhen you tell them to, whether
they were volunteers, like weare nowadays, or back in the day
when you were voluntold, likeit doesn't matter and it's never
going to change.
I had this conversation not topivot from the song, but I had a
conversation with someone acouple of months ago.
(20:24):
He's like, yeah, like well, why?
Why do we have to have thesewars and this and that?
Have you ever heard?
Like diplomacy?
I'm like when has that everworked?
Dude man has never figured thatout, because they don't want it
.
At the end of the day, there'stoo many profits to be made off
of war, and that's my opinion onit, right, bro?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I agree with you.
Just look in the last 10 years,how many defense defense
companies have popped up andhere in the near in the in the
present moment, how manyinsanely well established and
very, very wealthy and backedcompanies are pushing the
envelope in tech and drones andlike defense tech man, yep, like
(21:07):
, it's literally like, yeah, theamount of money gets poured in
there, yeah, and theircommercials are like they have
the same budget as a marvelfucking movie.
It's crazy, real, yeah, bettermore labs fucking making insane
money, figuring out how to killpeople with cool tech and cool
(21:28):
robots.
Look, I'm a fan, I'm a fan, butat the end of the day, let's
not muddy the water as to why,uh, these companies are doing so
great.
It's because we we havedeveloped a very profitable,
very successful, yeah, economythat uh does well with war and
(21:48):
yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
So there's, that.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Which brings me to my next point.
Why do we drink so much?
Right, man?
That's funny, yeah, man, yeah,but it's good to see that in
your journey, you're also madethe decision to walk away from
alcohol.
That's something that I talkabout.
I don't think there's any valueto it.
I leave it up to you audience.
(22:14):
Uh, if you, if you think it'sgreat for you, All right, cool,
yeah, I just, I just think thatit's something that everybody
should have a conscious momentand make a decision.
And in your journey, in yourlife, how did you come to that
point, man?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Man.
So I was born into a life ofdrugs and alcohol and partying.
I was raised around it.
It's just kind of what my oldman did.
I didn't have the bestupbringing, as is common with
most people who join themilitary at least enlisted side
you know what I mean.
So it was just normal Growingup as a kid, partying and doing
(22:49):
drugs and drinking and thenjoining the army and then just
drinking, like it was such ahuge part of the culture I never
once second guessed it.
I'm like well, it's legalbecause I'm 21.
Certainly it's okay, you know.
And then as I get older and Istart to realize like why is it
legal?
But it causes so much harm anddeath and destruction.
(23:11):
But something like marijuana,which I'm not, I mean like when
I retire I'll probablyself-medicate, but you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Let's pause there.
Let's, let's just, let's justsay this it is one of the
greatest medicinal substancesout there, full stop.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But yet it's demonized.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It's demonized, abso-fucking-l, absolutely it's.
You utilize it for sleep?
For I was amazed when I went inand had my consultation with my
doctor that prescribed it forme, yeah, and literally said
well, I can give you a strainfor you to focus for work, and
I'm like wait a second yeah,this is to like zoom zone.
(23:49):
It's like, oh no, no, like thiscan help you and I shit you not
when I'm traveling down tomorrowto get a new prescription.
I shit you not.
The strain for focus was insane.
That's crazy.
When you have a due date andyou're working on something, how
stressed out are you whenyou're like very yeah, dude,
(24:13):
take a hit of your pen with yourprescribed amount for a for
clarity and focus and youliterally are sitting at your
desk doing what you need to do.
No stress, yeah, just simplyfocused.
Got my music going on.
It was a complete.
The same amount of work, thesame amount of stuff I had to do
(24:34):
without the, the, the pressure,that feeling of pressure, and
then sometimes it builds intolike, am I about to have a
fucking heart attack?
No, yeah, okay, here's all mydo-outs focus and it's not the
frantic energy.
So, just if you're listening athome and you're questioning
about it still, I'm telling youplease go get informed, go get a
(24:54):
consultation, get yourself anamazing pen or, if you want to
do it the old natural way,however you want to do it.
It's one of the best medicinesout there and I really wish that
military had access to it,because I would rather have
troops that could smoke on theweekend than get drunk and get
into violent car accidents thatdestroy.
(25:16):
I mean how many times in FortCampbell these young private's
lives are being ruined for DUIsBecause we promote that shit all
the time.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah, I don't see any difference.
Like don't show up to workdrunk, don't show up to work
high, and there's plenty of onthe spot tests they can do
nowadays to tell if you're underthe influence of marijuana.
I had a conversation withsomeone a couple weeks ago.
I was like 90% of the things Idid growing up that were just
dumb as hell was because I wasdrunk.
The other 10% was because I wasjust an asshole.
(25:47):
But most of the time the baddecisions I made were because I
was drinking and I eitherthought I could get away with it
or whatever.
Like and it also alcohol is theultimate gateway drug.
Yeah, any other drug that Iever participated in not that I
ever participated in anythroughout my military career
was because I was drunk.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, and you make bad decisionswhen you're drunk.
(26:09):
I don't care what anybody says.
Like, especially in a culturewhere, like, let's pregame to go
get more drunk and then let'safter party.
Like, let's just get as drunkas we possibly can on the
weekends, like I don't know dude, and I, yeah, my eyes finally
opened up to that shit and it'snot like I was drinking that
much.
That made me feel like I Ineeded to quit.
(26:30):
There was so many other thingsgoing on in my life and in my
head that I didn't wasn'tdealing with well, and like I
actually went to behavioralhealth at that point and I
hadn't, like, made the decisionto quit drinking yet.
And then we kind of had talkedabout it, and then I was
training for a little triathlon.
I was like, well, I'm going totry and quit drinking, just to
prep for it, you know.
(26:51):
And then I did that prep andthen I was like I never, I'm
just done with that, I don'twant to ever drink again.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, no, it's.
I wish more people would followalong, but it's such a big,
powerful influence and, um, yeah, it's.
I think everybody just needs tohave a pause and reflect on why
they drank and they realize alot of it's just the culture
we're brought up playing sports,thinking that, oh yeah, can't
(27:19):
wait till Friday night, go drink.
It's like it's fuckingworthless man, it doesn't do
anything, it's not a benefit andI think it exacerbates all the
symptoms of, you know, operatorsyndrome syndrome.
Everything that we're dealingwith, all the stress that we're
dealing with, it doesn't help,it doesn't make it any better,
it makes it worse.
It makes it worse.
(27:40):
I think we need to have a largerdiscussion with how we're
dealing with stress and ourmental health.
Man, like, and yeah, like, thething that's really difficult is
we're you're still in theprofession where it's getting
better, but still, by and large,it's difficult to talk amongst
our peers about the things thatwe're we're dealing with.
Yeah, it's difficult toadvocate for others and be able
(28:11):
to sit down with the youngergeneration of green berets and
be able to say like, hey, man,look like it's not about just
staying quiet, it's not aboutjust trying to ride this out
like.
You have to be able to come upto your leadership and talk
about it.
If you're stressed out oryou're dealing with something,
for sure you can overcome thisstuff like you can.
You can heal and recover thisstuff.
You can let it.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You can resolve this and be the best version of
yourself and stay in the fightand I mean I have got to that
point but it took me livingthrough it to get there.
Had I never had like thetraumatic experiences from
whether it's deployment or justyou know, life in general,
things that happen like yeah,and then getting to that point I
would probably still be moreyounger.
(28:49):
Me like don't be a bitchmentality, you know like man
suck it up and drive on.
You know, be a man.
You know, like that was thementality and that got me so far
in life and I had a successfulcareer with that mentality.
But personally it was justdestroying me, like internally,
you know.
And then finally, you know,like when I was like all right,
(29:11):
I'm going to get help for this,like too many people I know from
deployments, you know past,like I don't know how many guys
I was in that unit with thathave committed suicide since
then and that was like the redflag for me.
I was like man, we were allthere together, we all shared
similar experiences.
Maybe I'm not too far off, youknow, like let me just go talk
to somebody, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, that was kind of the start of it, but yeah,
what are some of the thingsthat's helped you Like?
One thing that I really wantpeople to understand is same the
resources that I use, resourcesthat you use, like you, the
audience at home, the individuallistening to it that might be
suffering, might be goingthrough something like it's not
about using every tool, it's notabout using every single thing
(29:53):
that I use, but maybe byhighlighting some of the things
that work for you, we can givethem options.
Like, if we could just diveinto that for a little bit, what
are some things that you reallyleaned on or utilize throughout
your journey?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So, again, like I'll say, like, especially in group.
I feel like we have a lot ofresources and the behavioral
health specialists that we have,you know, available to us.
That was the first thing that Iwent toward.
Physical fitness or like thingslike strenuous working out,
running, all those things werealways the number one, like
that's what got me, probablyhelped me, survive to this point
(30:28):
without actually seeing aprofessional.
It's trying to stay busy, youknow, and like having being goal
oriented to write, likesomething to focus on, because
usually it's like idle handsthat end up with a beer in them.
You know what I mean.
So that's a T-shirt, right?
Speaker 1 (30:43):
there, dude.
I just came up with that, dude.
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I won't steal the idea.
I won't steal the idea.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
That's yours, man yeah, so staying busy, man, and
just like trying to distractmyself in the beginning talking
to people and then not, notmaking it public, right, like
you don't have to tell anybodythat you're quitting drinking,
because then there's thisawkward pressure because now
you're the weird one, becauseit's normal to drink, it's not
(31:24):
normal to be sober.
(31:51):
no-transcript this I can't befriends with you because you
drink and I don't.
So not publicizing it, man,like keeping it to yourself,
like it's your own internalthing anyway.
And there are people you canhave to talk to.
But on the flip side of that,like you need a good support
system.
Support system.
So, whether that's your wife,you know it was great, my wife,
(32:12):
not that she ever drank thatmuch anyway, but I quit drinking
.
So she quit drinking.
She's like, well, I'm not goingto drink by myself, you know.
So like it's much easier tohave that.
So it's like now, when we goout to eat, it's like I'm not
getting a glass of wine.
Well, she's not getting a glassof wine either.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
it, man, certainly is for us man we in my household
that the only thing that, uh, Itell people is just, if you're
not married, like it's easier,but if you are, have that
discussion with your, with your,with your wife, with your
family.
Yeah, let them know like thatway that yeah, it can, it can
(32:45):
just be a solid effort acrossthe board.
And then they don't look at youweird when all of a sudden you
don't drink anymore and yeah,she's buying fucking a trunk, a
caseload of fucking alcohol,bringing it to the house yeah,
now I have a an unhealthyobsession with la croix.
Like sparkling waters, dudefunny thing you say that mine's
(33:06):
liquid death.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I did la croix for a long time but uh, I love liquid
death man but it even like, likeI can still go out in a social
setting or go to a bar and Ijust order soda water and no one
bats an eye.
But because the anxiety of notknowing what to do with my hands
, initially, dude, I was likefreaking out.
I was like I'm never gonna beable to be in public again.
I was like let me just, let mejust hold on to something you
know.
(33:27):
So I started ordering sodawater.
So now I'm pissing as much aseverybody else at the bar
because I'm super hydrated butI'm not spending any money and
drunk people don't know thatyou're not drinking, dude, and
you would turn down a shot.
Most of them like, okay, cool,you know.
Like you just keep drinkingyour soda water, man, like no
one bats an eye.
So that was helpful.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Uh, yeah, I haven't had a weird interaction with
somebody once they found outlike I do the same thing or I
just order um cokes, likeespecially if I'm overseas.
Like I noticed that and like in, uh, in france like they still
have the, the good cane sugarcoke.
So I was like hell yeah, I'lldrink some coca-cola.
And people I'm like, hey, justput it in like a mixed drink
glass.
People think I'm like reallydrinking something.
(34:07):
Just be like the, really likeannoying cheesy dude.
Like I get a Jack and Coke,hold the Jack.
Yeah, just be a bonerCompletely.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, what else, man, go ahead, I was going to say,
to like getting off social mediaman, the stress and anxiety
that this shit causes, and likeI use it.
Now I'm back on because I'm ata stable place and I'm trying to
promote my music, but beforethat it served me nothing other
than just giving me anxiety andconstantly comparing myself to
(34:37):
other people, but never, everhelping me get to a point where
it was going to help me besuccessful dude.
So I got off that for a longtime and then the most helpful
thing for me again it's beenplaying guitar and write music.
Yeah, and speaking of music, yougot um, you got a new, um new
song coming out right yeah, Igot a whole ep coming out, man,
so there'll be four songs on it,all done with like a full
(35:00):
arrangement in the studio.
Um, I'm gonna call it the warat home, and it really
highlights a little bit ofeverything, man.
Like there's some stuff aboutgrief and like reflecting on
killing someone in combat, andthen there's a happy song about
going home on leave and justpartying with your boys, but
ultimately, like it's all thingsthat they kind of happen at
home, so that'll be out aroundlabor day, okay, but yeah it's
(35:23):
coming up pretty soon, prettysoon, man.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah, it just sucks, man, because you know somebody
won't be able to reallyunderstand what that's like, tim
Kennedy, that song will nothelp you Tim man Dude, so that
whole thing.
I had to throw that one in.
That was perfect.
You served it up on a platter.
(35:46):
But yeah, unintentionally.
Another one, no, but um, it's.
Uh, it's awesome to like, havesomething to look forward to,
like this, so we can all likesupport.
Is it going to drop on spotify?
How do we get it?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
man, so it'll be on all major streaming platforms.
The easiest way, honestly, isbecause every like I spotify and
apple music are the biggestones, but it'll be out on
everything.
But, uh, if you go to myinstagram the tactician musician
and just hit my link tree Like,you can follow me on all the
different platforms so you canpre-save it and then it'll just
pop up on a day releases andyou're in your saved songs and
(36:20):
stuff.
So awesome.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
And how does it?
How does that work for revenue?
How do we support youfinancially?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
man, Honestly, at this point it's just about
exposure.
So like when, when peopleactually pre-save.
So it's all about beating thealgorithm Right and as like an
independent artist with verysmall following to go and follow
my, my Spotify page or myartist page and then actually
stream the song but thenactually add it to your playlist
, like all those things, get thestreaming platforms to keep
(36:49):
pushing it out because it showsthat people are interested in it
.
But if you just go listen to it, like that doesn't do much and
if you don't like it, don'tlisten to it.
I'm not saying like you know,like if it sucks, you know
honestly, if it sucks you betterfucking like it.
Hey, if you don't like it, tellme you don't like it on my
social media so that you canhelp me out in that aspect.
(37:13):
Like I don't really care, Idon't expect everyone to like my
music, I'm fine with that, butyeah man just following adding
to your playlist shit like that.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
that helps me for sure, awesome.
And then when are youofficially going to be jumping
on a tour man?
Is that in the cards anytimesoon?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I mean honestly again , I still have two years left in
the army.
So my goal right now is likebranding myself and like
building out my network, inwhich I have done a pretty good
job at in the short amount oftime that I've been doing this.
So I know over the next liketwo years I can keep doing that.
But yeah, that's the goal, man,just hopefully after the army.
Yeah, I would like to do that.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Uh, and I've had shit , leave man, take some, leave,
do a summer tour.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
So we'll see.
Man, I had a like a small labelreach out to me the other day
Like hey man, like send me like10 more of your songs.
We want to listen to them.
We're supposed to sign anotherartist this quarter, Um, so I'm
hoping to hear back from himsoon.
If nothing comes of it, Ihonestly don't care, Like
because the fact that people arereaching out to me with even a
little bit of interest, that'swhat matters.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
It means I'm doing something right.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what matters, dude.
It's.
Yeah, we're.
We're not in similar sort ofwe're.
We're both in a in a, trying tocreate something and generate a
following, and it's not easy.
Not easy when there isn't anexact um you know, fucking
blueprint.
There's not a big label backingyou, but you're in arguably one
(38:42):
of the best areas to be doingthis for sure, like you're,
you're.
You're in an area where it'slike, bro, if you're gonna get
discovered, there's no like ifyou were a brag, that'd be one
thing yeah, and I'm taking fulladvantage of it, dude yeah, dude
, you're natchville's rightthere man yeah
you're in an area where it'slike fuck, do you like you can
(39:02):
meet some heavy hitters and, um,when we get offline, I'll uh,
we'll talk a little bit, becauseI have somebody that you need
to talk to to get involved and Iknow for a fact they're gonna
be happy like to, to connectwith you and talk to you through
some stuff.
But there's a lot of veteransin the music space.
There's a lot of veterans withorigin stories like yours that
(39:24):
are successful musicians rightnow.
The g walk created a lot offucking musicians.
Some are pretty well known,some are are in the trenches and
they're making money as writers.
Dude, that's the crazy part.
So I don't think that yourdream is as crazy as as as as
some people might think.
(39:44):
I think it's very realistic.
Dude Like, you have the ability, you have the talent.
It's just the showmanship andthe and the passion behind it.
I would argue that every eventaround the area, man like you
should be fucking playing.
Dude Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I don't say no to anything.
If someone asked me to comeplay somewhere, like, I'm there,
you know and I've had like somesome paid gigs and some people
that offer.
But like, at the end of the day,like I'll, I'll play for free
if it's a, if it's, you know, ifI get one follower or one fan
each place, I play.
Like that's, that's good enoughfor me, you know.
So I'm driving down theManchester on Saturday to play
(40:21):
with some other veteranmusicians for this big like
veterans.
Uh, the DAV and then the, theAmerican Legion are putting out
a pretty big show on Saturday.
So I'm going to go down thereand like, and I'm'm, like, I'm
the opening act, right, like,and that's cool, though like I
don't care, dude that's fuckingawesome dude yeah, so I'm gonna
go play that little guy.
And then I got a writers like amusic songwriters festival in
kahuta, georgia.
(40:41):
Never even heard of this placebut they emailed me.
It's in october, it's like fourhours away.
I'm like dude, I'll, I'll bethere, you know, like so yeah,
little by little we'll travelyeah, 100, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
So for sure, man yeah , dude, these are huge
milestones, man, these are greatfucking things that we need to
celebrate.
Man, like they're not little byany means, dude.
Like every fucking personrallying around you, every new
fucking subscriber, every newfollower, that's fucking huge
dude.
Like, yeah, it's a, you'rebuilding something that's gonna
let me dude, before we know it,you're gonna be if like 100,
(41:14):
you're gonna be fully signed andback musician and I'm going to
be hitting you up to get my dogshit podcast, a little bit of
promotion, and you're gonna belike who the fuck is this
asshole?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
no, I don't have time for this.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Not a chance dude tell, tell the publicist to
delete that fucking email.
Dear michael, remember when youwere on Security Hall a couple
years back?
Just saw your music video onCMT.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, dude, do you have anydreams of being able to play on
the Grand Ole Opry man?
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Honestly, man, I would.
I don't really classify myselfas like country, but I don't
really care about genres neither.
Like I play what sounds goodand my stuff probably gears more
towards like alternative rockand stuff.
But if I was invited I would doit.
But honestly, like, my dream ismore like intimate setting,
like think uh, alice in Chains,unplugged 1993.
(42:08):
Like that's pretty fuckingspecific resonates in my head
dude.
I listened to that every timebefore I go play a gig.
Dude, like that, that setting.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
You know what I'm talking about though, right yeah
you know exactly what I'mtalking about exactly like if I
could play shows like that, likethat would consider that a
successful, like that's goodit's better than saying, like
you know, my, my ideal gig is,you know, I, I, before my gig, I
listened to the rooster byAlice in Chains as I chain smoke
cigars.
No, yeah, I do.
(42:45):
I do think that, like I, Ithink there's.
I used to hate country, I usedto fucking hate country, but one
thing that, not like modern popcountry, but having friends
that introduced me to like theoutlaw country, having listened
to your music, I feel likethere's there's an easy segue
(43:05):
for the grittiness and the painto be really well like to come
through and shine through in inthat style of music from you.
I think you have the voice forit.
I think that you have thetalent for it.
I don't know, maybe explore it,man, cause, like I said, you
got, you got.
You got a lot of talent, man,you got a lot of talent.
That you know.
There's something to be saidabout the guy that walks up to a
(43:26):
party, pulls out an Like okay,I used to be that guy.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Maybe in like high school.
I think that's one of the firstsongs I ever learned, man.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
It's what time?
Is it 10 pm?
All right, yeah, let me go baga girl real quick.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
Oh my God, yeah, yeah, hell,yeah, dude, but real quick,
before I let you go, man, canyou tell us about these songs
that will be dropping the names?
(43:59):
What's the theme, what were thethings that got you to write
these songs, and to release them.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
So the first one is Jar of Flies, right, and it's
just kind of capturing all thenoise, right, Whether it's
social media, the news, thepaper, your boss, your teacher,
your parent constantly barkingat you.
You know, like someone'salready telling you how to live
and like what to do, and likeit's just noise, man, Like you
need to just turn it off, andit's kind of like how you're
searching for a way to get awayfrom it.
(44:23):
So that's the one that'll be on.
There is jar of flies.
The next one is lingering love.
It's kind of a breakup song.
You know, you break up, you'reback together.
You break up, you're backtogether and you're like you
know it's time to let go, butyou don't want to do it because
there is some love there still,but it's just not going to work.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah, it's like every G-WAT relationship.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, that's why the album is called War at Home.
One more deployment, we can doone more deployment yeah, blood
is reflecting on killing someone, and then like having guilt and
carrying that with youafterwards.
And then the last one man, whatwas it?
Oh, two weeks to burn, man.
It's about going home on leaveand just like, from the time the
wheels touched on the airplaneto the time, like you're just
(45:05):
going like blazing the trail,like having a fun with your boys
partying for two weeks, andthen you're back at home or
you're back overseas, your R&Ris over, you know.
So it's more of like a fun,happy one.
And then I'll probably put aslow down on there too, which
was a single I recently released, but I didn't promote it very
well, and that one's alreadystreaming, so people can go
(45:26):
check that one out already onSpotify and everything.
But yeah, so there'll be fivesongs on it.
The word home I'm looking atLabor Day weekend release.
So you can find me, michaelAllen, on all the streaming
platforms.
But Michael Allen is a supercommon name, so easiest bet is
just go to the TacticianMusician on my IG and then hit
the link tree.
It'll have you follow it, andso I'm big and famous.
Michael Allen is just anotherdude right now, don't worry.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Every great artist pivots to a different name.
I mean, just look at the greatsbefore you.
Puff Daddy, oh man, come on.
The artist formerly known asPrince oh, that's funny.
Oh man, michael Allen, thetactician musician.
It is a pleasure to have you onhere, man.
If you guys pause right now, goto the episode description.
(46:09):
All those links are right there.
Do me a favor, go ahead andfollow on all major platforms.
Support my guy.
Send him a friend.
Go ahead and follow on allmajor platforms.
Support my guy.
Send him a friend request onInstagram.
Are you on Facebook as well?
Awesome, go there as well.
Send him a friend request.
Look like it's.
If it's not your dream, it'snot your dream, but we should be
able to support our servicemembers, our veterans, with
(46:30):
their dreams.
Not everybody wants to be amusician, but hey, if your
brother wants to go, do that,support him and support Michael.
Go over there, give him a like,give him a share, give him a
follow and then head on over toSecurity Hot Podcast on YouTube
and give us a subscribe.
I am in the fucking trenches,folks.
Leave me a review.
I don't care what you say.
Denny's fucking rad.
I don't care at.
I don't care.
Whatever you say, put it onthere and then give me five
(46:53):
stars.
I'd really appreciate it.
I'm Danny Cabrero.
Thank you for tuning in.
We'll see you all next time.
Until then, take care, boom.
Securepodcast is proudlysponsored by Titan's Arms.
Head over to the episodedescription and check out
Titan's Arms today.
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