June 2, 2025 • 63 mins
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In this raw and powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Nick Jones, a military veteran who opens up about his deeply personal journey through trauma, transition, and transformation. From combat deployments to battling alcoholism, Nick reveals how he confronted the invisible wounds of war and began the long road to recovery.
This candid conversation dives into the emotional challenges of leaving the military, the isolation many veterans face, and how setting goals and finding a supportive community can ignite the path to healing. Nick shares how Talent’s Reach Foundation and spiritual exploration helped him reclaim his purpose, while also breaking the stigma around mental health in the veteran community.
💬 You’ll hear about resilience, the importance of reaching out, and how vulnerability becomes strength. If you're navigating your own challenges or supporting a loved one who is, this episode offers real talk, real hope, and real tools.
🎧 Tune in now and be part of the mission to break the silence around veteran mental health.
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Chapters
00:00 The Role of Chaplains in Mental Health
02:57 Understanding Trauma and Spirituality
05:57 Experiences in Ukraine: A Filmmaker's Perspective
09:00 The Importance of Brotherhood and Love
11:54 Identity and Transition After Service
14:51 Storytelling as a Healing Tool
17:59 The Impact of Love in Valor
21:02 Advocating for Mental Health in the Military
27:01 Brotherhood and Support in Recovery
28:44 The Struggles of Addiction
30:52 The Burden of Guilt in Caregiving
33:30 Finding Peace in Acceptance
35:36 The Role of Storytelling in Healing
39:47 The Call to Action in Conflict
42:45 The Fight Against Evil and the Importance of Family
Instagram: @securityhalt
Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod
LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Connect with Nick on social media and check out Talons Reach today!
LinkedIn: Nick Jones
Website: https://www.talonsreachfoundation.org/
Produced by Security Halt Media
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Security Odd Podcast.
Let's go the only podcastthat's purpose-built from the
ground up to support you Notjust you, but the wider audience
, everybody.
Authentic, impactful andinsightful conversations that
serve a purpose to help you.
And the quality has gone up.
It's decent.
(00:21):
It's hosted by me, DannyCaballero.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It's decent, it's hosted by me, danny Caballero
Dude, we share a DNA.
Raiders and Green Berets ohyeah, we're like stepbrothers.
One of my good friends shoutout to you Tim Molesky, also a
Raider.
Dude, it's like we were on thesame detachment.
It's like, dude, we would bereally good.
(00:42):
Bravos together.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, I've worked with a lot of good green braves
man.
I definitely they're.
You can tell all thesimilarities.
And then it's funny becausemarsoc just like mirrored
everything that you guys did.
So it's like you're not goingto go to 18 bravo anymore, we're
going to create our own course.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay, no way, dude, like I want to go to bravo
course it's literally likestepbrothers yeah yeah, oh man,
nick jones, welcome to the show,man yeah, man, thanks for
having me man, I love seeingguys that are getting after it
in this space, non-profit space,getting involved in helping
heal our brothers, because thatgives us that.
(01:23):
I mean not saying that we needthat every nonprofit needs to be
led by a soft member or, youknow, a former combat veteran,
but yeah, it does give you thatthe instant, like G check, like
you know, it's like OK, if I gothere, they know me, they know
what we're about.
So, dude, I want to dive intoyour story.
I want to know how you cameinto this world and how it
became a possibility for you.
(01:44):
And I want to dive into yourstory.
I want to know how you cameinto this world and how it
became a possibility for you.
And I want to say that I wasdoing my deep dive, checking in
on you, and you put something onInstagram that was really
powerful and I think more peopleneed to understand it.
It was a simple picture thatyou had written out your plan
for this foundation and said youhad a timeline and you were
going to execute this, and Ithink that's something that we
(02:06):
forget.
If you dream of something, ifyou want to see something be
created, write it out, put it ona piece of paper.
Take that first little step,that little action step.
It doesn't have to be to startyour own business, it could be
go back to school, but somethingas simple as writing it out,
put it on paper and makingyourself accountable for that
dream.
Like just looking back to that,I think that time has also said
(02:27):
like 2020, I think that's the Imean.
And then, a few years later,boom, here you are.
Man.
So, uh, yeah, one of the.
Let you know that, uh, yourjourney is inspirational to so
many people out there, not justour brothers and sisters in the
military, but our civilianbrothers and sisters as well.
Man, so kudos to you.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well, thanks, man, I appreciate it, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I appreciate youhaving me on, I appreciate you
giving me a platform to continuesharing the story.
And you know, it is somethingthat I was having a conversation
the other day, kind of aboutthe, the like a victim mentality
, right, like we, as as specialoperators, as even just military
(03:13):
in general.
Like you know, you take that,that oath right off the bat.
You're committing to somethinghigher than yourself, you're
committing to a life of serviceand then, whenever we take
selection and go to the, themilitaries, the United States,
or even the you know the world'shardest schools, you know
military, you go to free fall,you do all these cool things
(03:36):
sniper school, breacher school,like things that civilians can't
even fathom, right.
So we, we take the charge, wego to selection, we go to the
qualification course or ITC orwhatever you know pipeline
you're going through and thenfast forwarding to transition
and when things get hard, wekind of just like expect stuff
(03:58):
to get better, we expect thesecertain circumstances to just
come about, rather thanunderstanding where we came from
.
It's like wait, we worked thishard to get where we wanted to
be and we set those goals.
We constantly drove to meetthose goals and expectations
that we've already set and we'veheld ourselves to the highest
(04:20):
of standards throughout theentire like duration of those
courses, the pipelines, the teamtimes, the deployments, so like
what changes when we get out?
There is like that chemicaltype of imbalance.
If you've got the ptsd or ortraumatic brain injury or you
know these, certain things dohappen, these signs and symptoms
can arise and you know, are.
(04:41):
Those are the things that weare trying to help to identify
and to educate on and thencombat.
But I've been toying with thisthing lately is, like, you know
this, this victim mentality thatwe kind of fall into.
Um, I think it stems from notnot having a goal anymore, not
having a purpose, not having avision or a mission, and not
(05:02):
just putting the thing down onpaper Like how did you get where
you wanted to be?
You know, like having a goalanymore, not having a purpose,
not having a vision or a mission, and not just putting the thing
down on paper Like how did youget where you wanted to be?
You know, like I don't.
I don't know what drove you tojoin the military, but you know,
for me I had Marine reconposters and photos and I had the
recon creed up on my wall.
I was like 13 years old and I'malready like dreaming about
(05:23):
this stuff.
He's a little bit radicalized.
I had no idea what a visionboard was, but I created it in
my room and, um, you know, it'ssetting those goals at an early
stage.
And now it's like, okay, I, Ikeep, I gotta keep doing that.
I have to keep doing somethinghard every single day to to keep
(05:44):
moving forward.
So I kind of just went on alittle ramble, but thank you for
having me.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
We need to hear those things, man.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We forget.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, I think it happens to a lot of us.
We get out of the military,whether we do 20, 30, 40 years
in.
Or you do a couple, a couple ofpubs and you get out, uh, years
in.
Or you do a couple, a couple ofpumps and you get out, uh.
When you're removed from yourrank and file, from the high
achievers, from the friggingEagles, you can be bombarded by
(06:14):
messaging of hey, take a kneefor a while, relax, sit on the
couch, don't dream, becomfortable, seek comfort.
And it just keeps gettingbigger and bigger.
And that message continues toget pumped into your brain piece
and you're like, yeah, yeah, Iwas once a high achiever.
I don't have to do that anymore.
I can just be the fat body guythat gets out, plays a couple
rounds of golf on the weekendand talks about the best years
(06:35):
of his life and how far they areback there.
But that's not the reality.
That doesn't have to be ourlife.
That doesn't have to be ourlife.
That doesn't have to be ourtruth.
We can get out, we can heal, wecan recover, we can get back
after, we can do great things.
And it goes back to thatchildhood mentality of like,
what do you want to be, what didyou want to go after?
And we forget that we can havethat same sort of enthusiasm
(06:59):
right now, today, about whatwe're passionate about.
We can have that.
We don't have to let go of that.
It's not going to be fun, it'snot going to be easy.
But when in your life have yougone after the easy and the fun?
At no point in any of the Qcourse, in any of like going
into the Marsoc Raider training,was it ever like wow, this is
fucking amazing and fun.
(07:19):
Maybe moments, but for a vastmajority of it it was hard, it
was miserable, it was extremelydifficult.
But you knew that it was thebuy-in.
It was the absolute fuckingbuy-in to that greatness that we
were all trying to strive for.
And the same things on theoutside come to find out.
You just have to fall in lovewith the process.
Nobody wants to stay up till 3or 4 am to get stuff out, but
(07:45):
it's getting you closer to thatend goal and it's going to.
It's going to.
You have to believe in theprocess.
You have to fall in love withthe ugly stuff.
That's the unfortunate side,yeah.
So when you got out, man like,tell us that.
Take us to that journey.
Like you went through somethingridiculously painful, brutal.
How do you go through theprocess of getting injured and
then saying you know what, likeI want to.
(08:07):
I want to turn all this intosomething of purpose to help
others.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, um, so it was.
It was very challenging.
Um, you know, coming from peakperformance, peak capabilities
of my military career, havinggoals, aspirations within the
military, I did not expect toget out.
(08:33):
When I did, I had proposed tomy wife in January 2019, up on
top of a peak in Montana andsaid, hey, in 10 years, when I
retire, we're going to move outhere and raise a family.
And I had no vision of comingout any sooner than that and
(08:54):
then fast forward a year and acouple months, get injured.
The first thing that I told mysurgeon when I saw him I was
like I need you to get me betterso I can go back on deployment.
I was only there for two monthsand he's like, okay, like, so,
we'll try everything that we can.
And so, complication aftercomplication, it just started to
(09:16):
come in physically, but then,like all all of this mental
struggle, started to come inthat.
So it was the height of covet.
It was so march 8th 2020 whenwe did that cave clearance
operation.
Um, you know, I remember rollingthrough checkpoints in iraq and
(09:36):
we were in big armored vehiclesand they would be spraying our
vehicles with freaking water andbleach solutions as we roll by.
It's like dude, this is madness, this is wild.
They're all in their asbestossuits walking around.
They don't know what the hellthey're doing.
It was the funniest thing, andwe didn't realize how much was
(09:58):
happening in the States either.
So then, finally, when I make itback home, it's April, april
timeframe, and I get up toWalter Reed, and if anybody's
been to Bethesda or DC on anormal functioning day, that
place is a hustle and bustle.
There's traffic everywhere,there wasn't a car in sight.
(10:20):
It was like a zombie apocalypse.
Weird, super weird, eeriefeeling.
Um, so that's kind of wherethings started to set in.
I was like holy crap, there'snobody around.
Um, I get into walter reed andthere's uh, we didn't get any
visitors.
Um, the marine corps didn'tcome, barsock, socom wounded
(10:44):
warrior project, like there wasnobody to be found, and I was
like you know, they're takingthis very serious or they forgot
about me, and so I think it wasa mixture of both.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So this is what it feels like to be an injured
Marine.
Awesome man, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yep, they definitely, they definitely.
Uh, you know, I could have atleast had some crayons or
something.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I'm hungry you get a 24 pack yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So, um, you know, that was that was.
It was the start of it all.
Man, I felt super alone.
I had my wife there and whenthings started to compound, it
was it was.
It started to set in.
I was like the community's gone.
This physical injury took mefrom the highest highs to the
lowest lows, but now all of thismental struggle is catching up
(11:37):
with me.
So I finally got a couple moresurgeries and then the Marine
Corps told me hey, you'redisqualified from special
operations.
You have an option to getseparated or retired, whichever
one you get qualified for easycoming to these decisions.
(12:05):
But I was like, hey, let's,let's just let's make our dream
come true and go out to montananow.
And so she said screw it, let'sdo it.
So we were scrolling zillow,like we scroll instagram, you
know, and it's like trying tofind a place out here, and we
ended up finding a beautifulspot, kind of pretty much sight
unseen, and we purchased theplace.
And so now it was like, okay,we've got a location, leaving
north carolina behind.
So now what do I do?
(12:26):
I'm about to go and I'mfreaking at sea level.
There's no mountains around.
Now I'm going to go to a placewhere there's mountains, rolling
hills everywhere, and I can'teven walk like I don't know what
happened.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What was the nature of the injury?
Speaker 3 (12:40):
so, um, I ended up getting shot in the the right
shin, um, and it basically wentin and severed my superficial
peroneal nerve, um, so it's oneof your main sensory nerves in
your leg and it was like onimpact.
I basically developed this raresyndrome called complex
(13:01):
regional pain syndrome.
So it it takes over the nervoussystem and it basically goes
haywire.
But it's, it's stuck in my legfrom my knee down, so my leg
would like swell, get discolored, get um, like super painful.
I couldn't even wear a boot, Icouldn't wear a sock.
It was, it was wild.
(13:22):
So when I came back and got myfirst surgery, they tried to.
So they amputated a littlesection of the nerve and then
they put in a cadaver nerve.
I had these actually twosections, so they snipped them
both and then put in cadavernerves and it was one of the
longest cadavers for nerves thatthey have tried.
(13:44):
Well, they ended up growingtogether, fusing together and
creating this huge neuroma, solike a ball of a nerve.
So then my leg swelled evenmore and this symptom got even
worse and now it's like my legwas like going to pop.
It was, it was just wild.
So now the pain's even worse.
(14:06):
Now I really can't fucking walkum.
And I start toying with otherother um interventions.
I had like a stimulator thathung out of my leg at one point
with this battery pack that kindof taped to my leg.
So it was supposed to stimulatethe sciatic nerve, the main
(14:27):
nerve in in the leg, to kind ofcalm things down that way.
But that didn't work.
So then we went in um, itactually amputated the nerve.
So cut the whole whole neuromaout, cut all of that stuff out,
and just they.
It's called a targeted musclere-innervation.
So they basically took somemuscle and my nerve gave it a
(14:50):
point to call like it's new home.
Cause if a nerve doesn't haveit's it's what they do mainly
for amputations, like full blownamputations.
So then the it.
It is supposed to help withthat ghost, the phantom limb
pain and things like that.
So we tried that for that onenerve.
But I guess I had some residualstuff going on.
(15:13):
Pain was still out of control.
So then we installed a spinalcord stimulator.
So I had this stimulator thesize of a dip can in my back,
stimulator the size of a dip canin my back, um, and then I had
eventually I had to have it, Ihad.
So the original surgery, I hadthree wire leads installed.
(15:34):
Um, they have to do a trial.
They only put in two andthey're like okay, well, when we
do the full install we'll putin three.
So we put in three wires and atthis time during my recovery
I'm very much a raging alcoholic.
I'm trying my hardest to.
I even told myself right offthe bat because I was sober
(15:56):
during deployment and I was likeI'm going to ride this out
until recovery finishes.
But when I had all thesecomplications, I remember asking
my surgeon at one point I waslike hey, I know I'm on a huge
cocktail of medicine, but can Idrink?
And he's like I'm not advisingyou to do one way or the other.
He's like but you are on a lotof medications, he's like if you
(16:19):
would like a drink, you can tryto have one.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I was like there it is, I'm gonna start, that's
always us, it's always yeah, soI can have one right one bottle
rather than that.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I'm gonna put this to the test yeah, we fall victim
to that real fast oh yeah, andthat I did, man, like, I started
to drink more and more, um, andthen it turned into just what
it used to be man.
I fucking started drinking mylife away and I couldn't do
anything else.
(16:56):
I was drinking pretty heavily,man, and I started to hide it
from my wife and, um, I wouldtry to find excuses for her to
go out of town or leave for acertain amount of hours so I
could just try to get as drunkas I could.
Well, I got super drunk onenight and I ended up falling
because I can't balance verywell, I can't walk very well,
(17:17):
and I fell and it actually mademy wires slip out of the normal
spot.
So now it's like thisstimulator is constantly going
and I, I didn't know, I I justknew that my back hurt really
bad.
So now I had to wait for theincisions to heal, for them to
go back in to adjust things,cause, like something's not
(17:39):
right, like I feel like it'sjust all fucked up and my leg is
hurting really bad.
So they took x-rays and, sureas shit, like those wires are
all like moved and tangled inthere and uh, like what happened
?
I was like I don't know, Icouldn't tell you.
Uh, and I knew exactly whathappened.
(18:00):
So they ended up having to goback in, do the whole surgery
over, and then they added in anextra lead.
So, anyways, I had severaldifferent surgeries and then
finally I kind of got sick of it.
My pain was still really bad,and this is fast forwarding to
(18:22):
June of 2022.
My pain was still really bad, myback hurt really bad and I
called my surgeon and said, hey,I'm done with this man, I don't
want the leg anymore and Idon't want this stimulator
anymore.
If neither of them are working,then let's take them both.
(18:43):
And so he's like no, we got acouple options, let's try
something else.
And it's just like I'm justdone being a pincush, I'm done
with the experimental stuff.
We know amputation works.
He's like the only problem isthis complex regional pain
syndrome.
It can jump.
We cause more trauma.
It can travel up to your thighand where your injury is.
(19:05):
We could try to go below theknee, but we just we don't have
enough room to work with, so wemight have to do above the knee
and I'm like called the suralnerve it's another really major
nerve and then one down by myshin or my ankle.
(19:31):
And then, on the same surgery,he removed to the spinal cord
simulator and dude, I woke upand was like that's, when I
started setting those goals, Iwas like this is it for sure?
I would say that after everysurgery.
But I could feel different man.
I was like this is it for sure?
I would say that after everysurgery.
But I could feel different man.
I was like this is it for sure?
Um, I ended up throwing the,the Walker, away, like three
(19:52):
days after surgery.
And then I was, I was walking, Iwas, I was moving, this is it,
I can feel it.
So I just ditched the caneentirely too and I was like I'm,
I'm going to learn all of thisover again, like I'm, I'm ready.
And then it was like he wasthere, man just just kept
incrementally getting better andI was like no fucking way like
that, this worked and sure asshit.
(20:14):
Like I just kept on moving,setting these goals.
And I remember looking out ofmy window one day and I saw the
highest peak in the mountainrange.
I was like I'm going up thereon the one year anniversary.
And I saw the highest peak inthe mountain range.
I was like I'm going up thereon the one year anniversary, and
then I fucking did it, man, andthen I just started setting
these goals.
After that it was like it wasgreat.
So that was a very long way oftelling you what my injury was.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, that's perfect, man.
That's yeah, it's calledstorytelling.
You're doing a great job of it.
Yeah thank you.
Yeah, no it, you're doing agreat job of it.
Yeah, no, it's.
Um, it's remarkable, man.
A lot of times, you know it'swhen you can see the graphic
injury of somebody that's goneto war, it's like, oh shit, like
man dude's missing an arm, he'smissing a leg, and those are.
(20:58):
Those are powerful stories,powerful testaments.
But when you're dealing withsomething that's like, oh, you
got shot, but the, the, theinjury is complex and it
involves nerves and it's likepeople can't see what's going on
inside that your leg.
They can't see what's the fightthat you're in here.
You can't feel that pain likethat.
You can't connect with thatpart of your body and or it's
(21:19):
sending constant fires.
Like you know, suicide's a realthing.
These injuries can leadindividuals to lose hope, to
lose that ability to lookforward and say it might not be
today, it might not be tomorrow,but soon I'll figure this out.
What kept you in the fight, man?
This is not something that'seasy when they can say, when
(21:41):
there's a definitive answer oflike, hey, we're going to take
the leg, we're going to take itbelow the knee, you're done, you
can accept that, you can startmoving, you can start healing
rapidly, you can start movinginto that post.
You know post-op and startgoing into that, but when it's
like, hey, we're going to cutinto your back.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Now we're going to cut into that's.
So that's the hardest partabout it is like I was.
I was in such a good mindset atthe beginning because we've got
that warrior mindset.
I was like I know I'm going toget fixed, I know I'm going to
get back to the team.
I know I'm going to beoperational again Like we're.
We're invincible.
You know I I'm going to beoperational again.
We're invincible.
I made it through that.
(22:26):
I'm not dead.
I'm still here, I'm ready tokeep fighting.
But it was multiplecomplications and I didn't even
(22:51):
talk about all the infections.
I got that back one done.
I developed this sensitivity toadhesives and the different
glue that they used.
So every time, dude, I wouldhave these nasty infections on
anywhere that the adhesivestouched and we couldn't find
very many alternatives becausewe had to kind of seal that
stuff up.
So it was just gross man likebleeding on my couches and
(23:11):
changing my sheets all the time.
But I still kept as positive asI could.
You know I was still with thecommunity.
I was very much, you know,tried to get as involved as I
could.
I was very much trying to getas involved as I could.
Teams would invite me out to goto a range or something like
that, just to kind of build meup and show me that my buddies
(23:33):
are there for me.
And then it was.
You know, I thought moving toMontana was going to be the
cure-all.
You know, it's the magic in themountains, the healing, the
hunting, being outdoors and allof this.
(23:54):
But as soon as I got here man Iwas, I was completely removed
from everybody.
I had very little friends rightoff the bat, like I fell into a
community that it was verycaring.
They were very appreciative ofmy service, they tried to get me
in the mountains to go hunting.
And then when I tried to go outthere and the pain was so
unreal, I was like dude, Ifucking can't do this.
Like I'm, I'm, I'm fallingvictim to this, like I'm just
(24:19):
slowly slooping down into thisfucking never ending cycle of
just pain and remorse and shameand guilt and everything.
Man was just all trapped insideof my mind and I started giving
up.
I never thought that I would,you know, say the words like I
(24:44):
quit and I started doing thingsthat were just like very
reckless and very dangerous.
And how much I was drinking wasjust like.
It was absolutely insane.
And all the medications I wason, I was like I'm, I feel like
I'm, you know, trying to do thiswithout you know, without
putting a gun to my head.
(25:05):
And then I had this opportunityto go to a Legion of Valor
conference.
So it was for Navy Cross andMedal of Honor recipients or any
Cross recipient, medal of Honorrecipient.
So it's actually one of theoldest veteran service
organizations around.
(25:26):
I think it was founded in 1891.
Wow, all of these valorrecipients, they get together
and now they hold conventions,they share about stories of
valor, they go to museums, theyall get together.
It's.
It was the most fascinatingthing ever because, like, there
was, there's guys from thekorean war, um cross and medal
(25:49):
of honor recipients, vietnam,and then, uh, you know, it's
starting to grow a little bitinto our era, but there was only
a couple from oif, oef, andthen I was the only one from OIR
that has joined that so far,and so, anyways, I went there
with this one goal in mind.
I had my own agenda and I waslike how are you guys still
(26:12):
alive?
How are you here?
Because I have these horriblethoughts in my mind and I just
want to fucking quit.
I didn't say any of that outloud until this one dude started
sharing his story and he waslike 15 years after the fact I
attempted suicide because of howheavy this, the weight of this
award and the mission, was on meand I just started breaking
(26:36):
down and my wife like was likewhat's wrong with this fucking
guy and um, and so then thatnight I told her, I told her
everything, and I was like look,um, and my wife was five months
pregnant at the time with mydaughter.
I said, um, it was.
(26:56):
You know.
A couple nights after you toldme that you were pregnant, after
Christmas that I went into thegarage and I said I quit, and I
put a gun to my head and Ipulled the trigger and I had a
fucking light strike in my Glockand I had never shared that
(27:18):
with anybody, with her, with theworld, nothing.
I fucking didn't tell anybodybecause I wasn't ashamed, but I
was fucking scared, not of whatpeople are going to say or judge
me.
I know people talk aboutsuicide as being a selfish act
and at the time it was the mostselfless thing that I could do
(27:39):
because I was fucking strugglingso bad.
I felt like such a burden thatI was like I'm, I'm done doing
this to people, like I'm justtearing my wife apart.
If my daughter sees who I am,like I'm, I'm, I'm going to ruin
her life.
And it just fucking tore me up.
(27:59):
Man, I was like dude, I've shottens of thousands of rounds
through these glocks and I've Imean, you've had light strikes,
but because of a dirty gun.
This is a house gun, thisdoesn't fucking happen.
And so, just like it putsomething into perspective for
me.
And when I finally told her, Ihad this weight lifted off of my
chest and I was like I got tofucking do something like and at
(28:20):
this I was running thefoundation at this time I was
still currently like trying totell people hey, this is how you
get better.
And here I am at the, at mylowest of lows, just wanting to
quit.
And so, um, right after that, Iwas like I have to come up with
a plan.
So I called my friends, Icalled everybody closest to me,
(28:42):
and I was like I have to tellyou something.
And I told them the whole storyand I was like I need a plan, I
need to know that you're therefor me when things get bad.
And they're like I've alwaysbeen here for you, like I've got
your back.
And so I was like, well, fuck,like I thought I was alone this
whole time, but all everybody'shere to help me.
I just needed to ask.
And so then I just startedgetting off my ass and it was
(29:05):
right.
After, that is when I called mysurgeon for the surgeries and a
sequence of events happened.
I lost one of my best friendson July 10th of 2022 to an
alcohol-related incident.
He's only 30 years old.
(29:26):
He was at home, he was drinkinga bunch and then had a
pancreatic attack.
Well, went into the hospitaland while he was in the hospital
, they gave him a 50-50 chanceto survive this pancreatic
attack, and then they said hestarted to go through
withdrawals and immediately whenhe went through those alcohol
(29:46):
withdrawals, it fucking killedhim because of how hard his body
was fighting.
Both of those things Um, thatwas July 10th of 2022.
So I'm in the airport cause I?
My surgery was July 12th.
I'm in the airport because mysurgery was July 12th of 22.
(30:07):
Well, as I'm there, I wascelebrating for the boys the
five-year anniversary.
So July 10th of 2017, there wasthe C-130 crash that killed 15
Marines and one Navy corpsman.
Seven of those guys were fromHotel Company 2nd Raider
Battalion and one of them wasTalon Leach.
(30:30):
So Talon was one of my bestfriends growing up in Marsauk
and I lived with him and hiswife and they called me that
night and they're like hey,talon just died in this plane
crash.
You need to go notify his wife.
He put you down on his paper.
I was like motherfucker, thatdoesn't happen.
Why me?
Why now, All of these questions?
(30:52):
So, anyways, I'm at the airport,I'm drinking for those guys and
I get that phone call.
They tell me about the alcoholstuff and I knew I just had this
flash of the last five years.
I was like I know what happenshere, like I'm going to spiral
down and this alcoholism isgoing to get worse or I can make
a choice right now.
And I fucking took anotherdrink of this beer and I set it
(31:15):
to the side.
I was like I'm done, like thisis it.
This is where things changeright now.
So I go get that surgery.
And this is where the mindsetstarted to change, because I get
the surgery and like I'm goingthrough my own withdrawals of
alcohol, I'm also going throughall the pains and the struggles
of the surgery.
(31:35):
But then I'm, you know, I, I setthese goals, man, and I was
like I am fucking fighting, I'ma fighter, I'm, I'm doing this
shit like this, it's my time.
So, um, I just, I just keptpushing, man, I kept setting
those goals.
Um, I hit milestones, certainmilestones throughout the year
(31:59):
and when, like you know, thesobriety was was one of those
things that I was chasing.
But I wasn't putting an enddate on it because I'm like I
don't want to make it just tothe end of recovery.
I don't want to make it to thisone, because that's going to
put pressure on me.
I'm just going to take it dayby day.
And that was the same withrecovery mentally and physically
.
Let's take it day by day, let'swork on today.
(32:22):
If something comes up, I'mgoing to deal with it as it
comes, because all of thesethings created new issues.
I would get one milestone aheadwith my injury and then
something else would hurt,because I add in this or I start
lifting, and now my back hurtsbecause of whatever it is.
So it was just trying to to beadaptable, like, like we do best
(32:45):
.
You know, it's like if aproblem arises, I'm going to
figure out how to attack thatnew problem, and so I just
started to readapt that specialoperator mindset.
It's like I I know I can dothis.
I need the tools and theresources.
I've got the the community.
I found that out right awaywhen I, when I called for help,
I put that red star cluster upand everyone was like I'm
(33:08):
fucking here, dude, you givethat support call and and
they're there, they'll come.
I just got the goosebumpsthinking about it, because it's
like it's real and we've.
Every time we're we're in thatslump, we think that it's all on
us and it's like we're herewaiting, we're there on standby.
Qrf is a real thing, man.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, it's.
One of the most painful thingsto witness is when you lose a
friend and when everybody showsup for them and those memorials
if only they would have reachedout.
You always ask yourself if onlythey reached out.
How many times do we have tohave these discussions to know
(33:53):
you're never truly alone, eventhe worst of us, the guys that
just have burned every bridgebecause of drugs, because of
alcohol, and you've turned yourback and you've hurt people?
Yes, even you.
You have people that love youand care about you, and all you
have to do is fucking pick upthe phone.
You're not alone.
Let people know what you'regoing through, and that's the
(34:13):
hardest thing.
We all struggle through it.
And it doesn't have to be justwhen you're dealing with suicide
.
If you're dealing with problemsat home, if work is getting to
you, if you're in a situationwhere, like fuck man, you just
need a friend, pick up yourphone and call the same dudes
that you were in a platoon within the 82nd and 75th Ranger
Regiment, freaking.
Wherever you served, theyremember you, even if you
(34:36):
haven't talked to them in years.
Pick up the phone, reach out,man.
That's truly something that weneed to advocate more of.
We all need to understand thathealing and modalities are
amazing and what worked for mecan work for you.
Maybe some of them, maybe notall of them, but some of the
things that have helped me canhelp you.
(34:57):
But I know for a fact the onething that you can always rely
on is that buddy, that textthread, elgops, little Groups of
Paratroopers the three peopleyou always talk to the most, the
people that have always beenthere for you Reach out, text
them.
It might be uncomfortable foryou for a little bit to say, hey
, I'm struggling.
Use some dark humor.
It's gotten you through theworst.
(35:18):
Man, we always rely on humor.
Send that meme.
Check in on your friends.
Rely on humor.
Send that meme.
Check in on your friends.
When you look back and reflecton this journey, it is such a
powerful thing to hear youdescribe that moment of going
all the way through it,squeezing the trigger and having
(35:41):
a light strike.
That is not something that Imean.
It gave me goosebumps justhearing it now and you're not
the only person these stories ofgoing all the way through it
and then something intervened.
Did you find yourself morewilling to investigate that
third domain?
(36:01):
That spirit?
Your mind is not there.
Your body's not there, yourspirit's gone.
But in that moment, any of us,even if you're a devout atheist,
you have to see the divineintervention in that.
Did you find yourself in thatmoment?
Speaker 3 (36:34):
being willing to say like holy shit, I hear you, he
would just be running aroundchasing his ball and stuff.
But that night he I left thedoor a little bit cracked just
in case he, he wanted to come in, and uh, and he could hear that
something was off.
And when I when I, you knowpulled the trigger and just
(36:58):
started bawling my eyes outbecause I was fully expecting
something, and you know when youhave started bawling my eyes
out because I was fullyexpecting something, and you
know, when you have, when you'reon the range, whether you're
about to do a sniper engagementor even just you know CQB, and
you have that, that light strike, or that, that failure to fire,
there's that kind of flinch insome way, shape or form, and
(37:22):
they we always say it's theloudest sound in a gunfight when
your gun goes dry.
It was literally the loudestthing I've ever heard, because
my ears started ringing and then, all of a sudden, this pain,
this sorrow, this scream cameout of my fucking face and I
just started bawling my eyes out.
I can literally see it stilllike burned, and I couldn't see
(37:47):
my face, but it was like I waslooking at me.
And then he comes in and juststarts fucking, like attacking
me, licking me, and was like,dude, you're okay, like come
back.
And then it just like I set thegun down and was like what the
fuck am I doing?
Like, why am I trying to quit?
(38:07):
And I was like there's, there'sdefinitely something bigger and
I don't know what that is.
It took me a while to, I guess,talk about it to realize it
because, like, I mean, it wasvery much something saying like
you're not done, you're, you'rehere to stay, like you're,
(38:28):
you're here for a bigger purpose.
And you know I've not right offthe bat, but, uh, you know I've
started to get more spiritualand really look into into that
side a little bit more and asklike, why, why'd you save me?
Why, who saved me?
Into that side a little bitmore and ask like why, why'd you
save me?
Why, who saved me?
(38:48):
Um, and it doesn't matter whoor why or what, it was it.
You know, something higherpower gave me another chance.
Um, I wasn't, I wasn't ready tobe called home yet.
So, um, you know I to be calledhome yet.
(39:09):
So, um, you know I, I've morerecently gone.
Um, it was several months afterthat I went and did um some
other plant medicine, journeys,um and feel, feel like I've
really, you know, been connectedtowards a real higher power and
, um, my, my, my body, spirit,soul, everything is, is very
connected in line now and, youknow, I feel so grateful to have
(39:33):
experienced something like that, as fucking crazy as it sounds,
but, um, you know it's, I don'tknow, it's a journey it's an
absolute journey.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
That's one of the things I always tell people
explore every avenue.
You don't go to war with oneweapon system.
It's just absolutely asinine.
You take every weapon, everyadvantage you can take, and we
have to have the same approachwhen it comes to our mental
health, our well-being, and thiseven if you never got injured
(40:14):
in combat, even if you only ifyou're the guy or gal out there
thinking that, well, I made itthrough my entire service, I
didn't have any issues.
You can have injuries, you canhave moral injury, you can have
all sorts of things you'redealing with outside of the
military.
If you need assistance, bewilling to explore every
modality, and one of the bestones out there is plant medicine
.
There are so many ways to gettreatment in that realm and man,
(40:40):
I've seen it in my own life.
My experience with 5-Meal DMTlike I thought I was well, I'm
doing pretty darn well.
I thought I was the gem and Iwalked in with the intention of
having addressing one issue.
And I go through thatexperience and realize, oh shit,
showed me a whole bunch ofdifferent shit.
It showed me what I really needto focus on and that's how that
(41:02):
, that medicine and so powerfulyou'll come out of it
Understanding so much aboutyourself and what you set your
intention for.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Did you do um you go down to one of the retreats in
Mexico or yeah, so I did, uh, Iutilized vets, um nice, and they
they sent me to, uh, adifferent place to do iboga.
So I know the majority go toTijuana and do the Ibogaine and
DMT combo.
(41:31):
And I got a little advice froma buddy and he said you need the
real deal, you need to go dosomething heavy.
You got a lot to offload and Iwas like all right man, I'll
trust you.
So I went and I did Iboga.
It was in Cancun.
All right man, I'll I'll trustyou.
So I went and I did Iboga.
Um, it was still.
It was in Cancun, um, but itwas.
(41:54):
It was amazing.
It was an amazing like umintroduction to what I really
needed to work on.
It gave me a lot of insights, alot of things to kind of focus
on.
But what it?
What it did was open up a wholedifferent, like you were saying
, a whole different realm ofwhat I actually needed to work
on and what I had no idea I waseven struggling with, which was
(42:17):
my childhood.
Like Iboga is.
I'm not going to go into allthe whatever the science and
history behind it, but it's anancient African root and they
say, like the theory is is, ittakes you back to the root of
your problems.
So, like I didn't see anythingfrom combat, I didn't see
(42:45):
anything from the military, itwas all pre-military and it was
freaking wild.
So it was like, okay, like Ineed to focus on this for a
while.
But then I had this, like youknow, ache inside of me.
Still, it's like, well, how doI offload all of this shit?
So, um, I waited like severalmonths.
Um, I did uh, it's funny, I dida boxing match in between that
(43:07):
time.
Um, cause I wanted to you.
So I wanted to prove myselfagain.
I had all this built up energyand I could finally move again.
So I was like, let's see if Ican.
So I did a charity boxing match.
I ended up winning, which wassuper fun and a cool experience.
But then I started getting theseangry.
All of these other high driveviolence starts coming out again
(43:34):
.
So I'm like sizing up randomdudes while I'm walking around
with my wife and daughter.
I'm like, dude, what am I doing?
Like I just I just got all thisbeautiful insight saying work
on your childhood.
Well, all of that was comingout again.
I'm like I'm not a fuckingscrapper anymore.
I'm not high school.
I can't just go fight randompeople, stop.
(43:55):
So.
So then, uh, I like I kepthearing about ayahuasca and I
was like, okay, I'm, I'm goingto apply for this one and go do
that.
So I went back down to mexico,down towards mexico city, um,
and I utilized hero cardsproject this time, um, head down
(44:15):
there and had the most profoundhealing, loving, opening, just
amazing experience.
Um, I mean, it was, it was hardas shit.
Like that medicine is, is notgentle, um, and very much like
(44:36):
5meo, like it gives you what youneed when you need it.
Um, and it was.
It was the most eye-opening butbeautiful, connecting medicine
that I've done.
I had some very profound combatdeath situations, but also this
(44:57):
beautiful, all-encompassinglife and love shell-cracking.
Without going into all thedetails, it was very healing, it
was very enlightening.
I remember at one point likefeeling this, like bolt of
energy run through me and I likewanted to get up, be like guys.
I'm healed, like I can feel it,I feel so good.
(45:20):
I was saying all this in myhead and when I, like, I tried
to move and I was like I'mthere's, I'm not getting up,
getting up, um, feeling it whenI can't do it, yeah, and it was.
It was amazing, man.
I came home and, um, you know,my wife saw the, the jurassic
change, and she was like, youknow, you're sitting over here
(45:42):
like the, the buddha master, andI'm, I'm over here feeling like
the crazy one at times now,like it was just, it was wild,
like how much of a you know ashift it gave me.
But like I tell people all thetime, and it's not the, it's not
the cure, all it's not, it'snot going to be, the medicine
itself is not the actual fix,it's, it gives you that time and
(46:04):
the space to be able to work onthose things that you need to
work on, cause, like you weresaying, there's a plethora of
tools and resources out therethat you still have to apply
yourself.
You set those intentions, youdo the ceremony, but then doing
the homework is the mostimportant part.
(46:28):
So I'm sure a lot of people haveheard this metaphor of the
snowfall.
So like, if you can imagine themountainside you're on a ski
slope and you've burned theseseveral trails down this
mountain.
So now you've got all of theseruts in there and then you go
and you do plant medicine, youdo psychedelics, and now it's a
(46:51):
fresh snowfall.
It covers up all of those rutsand now you're standing at the
top of the mountain with thisvery fresh blanket of snow.
There's no ruts, there's notrails.
You now get the option to pickyour trail.
You get to go and burn a newtrail, find a new path towards
where you want to go.
And when I heard that, I waslike wow, that's very much what
(47:17):
it did, because I was fallinginto these certain habits and
this different lifestyle, and Iwas like now I'm reset.
I got a nice reset.
Now I get to choose all ofthese, these methods and
modalities and things that Iwant to actually do.
I don't need all the noise andum, the chatter that I've I've
carried around so long.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
So yeah, yeah, that's the noise that we uh, we all
have to let go of and did it.
It's you can't do it withoutplant medicine.
Not saying that you need plantmedicine to do it, but it takes
active work, you have to bedisciplined about it and you
have to face it each and everyday.
So know that it's possible todo it without plant medicine,
(48:01):
but it's also out there to helpyou.
And here's the fun fact Afteryou have this great, amazing
experience, you still have to dothe work.
Otherwise it's just to get likea little bit of time feeling all
this great, wonderful, like newenergy, of new you, and then it
just goes off by the waysidebecause you're not actively
working towards maintaining thatright headspace and being that
(48:23):
best version of yourself.
So if you go do this and have ajourney with it, understand you
gotta got to do work, you gotto be committed to that new
version of you.
Like anything else in life, man, it takes work.
It's not a magic wand, feelsgreat, it's an experience that
will stay with you.
But, like anything else, if youcome back and you go back to
being a piece of shit, you'regoing to be a piece of shit.
You have a great story.
(48:44):
You got to go back and be apiece of shit, Dude so what's
life like now?
what are you doing and how?
How are you continuing themission with talent's reach?
Speaker 3 (48:56):
yeah, man.
So life is good, um stillliving in montana lucky yeah,
it's, it's beautiful here.
Man, spring is is in full uh,full swing.
Green grass, leaves are, leavesare coming back, like it.
It's cool and this is like oneof the most beautiful times
because there's still snow capon the mountains, it's warm down
(49:18):
here and it's just it'sabsolutely beautiful because
there's so many wildflowers.
Like it's funny because theseare things that, like I never
would have paid attention to inthe past, like sure I would have
came attention to in the past,like sure I would have came here
and been like, wow, this issuper beautiful.
But like the little, likeintricate details of nature and
the beauty of life is is one ofthose things that I really
(49:40):
appreciate now.
That being said, so, yeah,living out here, I've got a you
know, a beautiful family.
My wife is absolutely amazing,takes great care of me.
The other day was the militaryspouse appreciation day.
I'm not much of a poster, but Ishared something.
It sucks that there's only oneday to appreciate the military
(50:05):
spouse, because every single daythey carry all of this burden
for us.
Military spouse, because everysingle day they carry all of
this burden for us and theydon't get much like recognition
for it.
And you know, it's like if itwasn't for her, I would not be
here, like I would have fallen along time ago.
Um, but she saw something in me.
Bless her heart for stayingaround.
(50:28):
And you know, now we've got abeautiful two and a half year
old daughter.
That is just an absolute savageand it keeps you on my toes for
sure.
So with the foundation, we'reabout four years old now and
it's great man.
We have a home now.
(50:48):
We've got an office with anattached storage.
It's like one of those littlethings, but it feels so great
Like we're making it happenBecause, like you said, you saw
that post of like years ago.
It started on a freaking napkinand a piece of paper in my
living room while I'm bleedingon my couch with one of my
(51:10):
teammates Like dude.
I think this is going to work.
This is what we should do, andnow it's been so amazing to see
the progress.
We started one program for theyear in a fundraiser and it's
like we had no idea how to raisemoney and I was like I don't
have any experience.
I have no business background.
I have no business doing thisstuff.
(51:31):
I don't know what I'm doing.
Join the club bro.
Yeah.
So it was like a full-blownOGIT, like on the drop training
let's figure it the fuck out.
So we now have a full-timeemployee, we've got the shop,
(51:53):
we're running multiple programsa year, we're doing multiple
fundraisers a year and we'remaking real community impact
because we're staying engaged,we're staying true to ourselves
and true to our nature of whatwe're doing.
Our nature of what we're doing.
So you know, the whole missionbehind this is is we want to be
(52:14):
able to help under operatorsunderstand that they're not
alone.
So we help special operationsforces, members, um, active or
retired, can be direct support.
So we still we help likeenablers and things like that.
So we bring them out here forfive days, we run them through a
program revolved aroundeducation, around signs and
symptoms that can arisethroughout the career, and then
(52:36):
we guide and teach othermodalities to help combat those
through holistic practices, solike yoga, meditation,
mindfulness, breath work, art,music, different things that are
outside of the wheelbox oftraditional medicine, if you
will.
So we want these guys to reallyget in touch with who they are
(53:00):
and what they're truly capableof, because we run a completely
dry program so they don't havethe liquid courage to dig deep.
It's like I want you to feelyour true potential.
You come out here and you sharewhat's really on your mind.
By being you and by seeing that, you understand like, yeah,
(53:21):
fireside chats were great, allof this stuff, but what that
turns into is war story sharing.
You get deep, then you get dark.
Then all of a sudden, all ofthese demons come out and, like
you know that only speeds thosethings up to then clash one day
Like, let's, let's drop thatshit, let's, let's end this.
You know the, the stigma behindmental health and the, the fear
(53:44):
of, like, getting vulnerablewithout the use of of substances
.
It's like let's learn to dothis on your on your own.
You know it's super powerful.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Dude, it's the most aggravating thing to see guys
only tap into their emotionafter they drank their hearts
out.
And then they all get togetherand they're in their dress,
blues after a ceremony, after aball, and then they're.
Then they get vulnerable abouttheir losses, the failures.
You don't have to get drunk toshow emotion amongst your
friends and to help them, helpyou.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
You can do it sober For sure, yeah, it's a very
powerful, very powerful thing,because I've had to bury a
couple friends since becomingsober, had to bury a couple of
friends since becoming sober,and you know, being able to
truly feel everything is is avery powerful experience.
(54:35):
And then being able to share myemotions with people right then
on the spot, because, like Ijust remember, you know, it was
like at funerals back in the day.
It was like I was either drunk,like hungover and probably
still drunk from the nightbefore, waiting to go get drunk
so that I could share morestories, or I, yeah, had bottles
(54:59):
in my socks going intoArlington.
I did not know the first coupleof times that you can't
actually take booze in there.
I'm like I've seen booze allover the place in here.
How can I take this in here?
They're like, no, you can't dothat.
So I was like, okay, I'll gothrow it away and I just put it
in my socks and came right backin.
(55:21):
I was like I'm an alcoholic toa T and so it was like it was
just ridiculous.
But so, yeah, anyways, and thenthe culmination of the programs
out here is we get dudesoutdoors.
We then couple the educationwith the modalities and the
(55:45):
outdoors and it really tieseverything together.
You get back in touch withnature, back in touch with
yourself.
You're learning to share yourstory and get vulnerable without
the use of all that stuff.
So it's been super impactful.
Man, we've we've ran um eightprograms Now.
We've had 44 operators comethrough and, uh, we've got two
(56:07):
more scheduled for this year andthen hopefully next year we'll
be able to run four and thenjust continue to keep growing.
The capacity is growing, theteam is growing and I think it's
really starting to get outthere, man, the word of mouth is
really spreading and we've madeimpacts outside of the programs
as well.
It's not just that, becauseit's like what we're talking
about here.
You know we've made impactsoutside of the programs as well.
(56:28):
It's not just that, becauseit's like what we're talking
about here.
It's like the collectivehealing happens even outside of
of these programs.
You know, people are sharingwhat's working for them and and
it's starting to cause a chainreaction which is absolutely
amazing.
And I know that there's so manyother nonprofits out there
doing amazing work and we'reactually partnering with a few,
(56:52):
which one?
Um, you know, at soft week wereally solidified a partnership
with the special forcesfoundation.
So they're going to help bringout.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
I was just about to plug them in.
Speaker 3 (57:01):
Yeah, it's super cool because, um, like they're going
to help and bring out um, greenberets to each each program, is
green berets to each eachprogram.
I was like green berets andRangers have been our, our
biggest clients so far, which isa.
You know, it's a.
It's a good thing and in a, I'mnot going to say a bad thing,
(57:21):
but I've only had three Raiderscome through.
And I was bummed about itbecause I'm like, dude, our
Marines still this stubborn.
How do we break that?
How do we get through to thoseguys?
And we've had a number of otherguys, NSW guys, AFSOC.
So we are working together toto help, because not one can do
(57:44):
it all.
And if one tries to say thatthey can and they're doing it
themselves, like that, that'sgreat If you've got the capacity
to help, but I know for a damnfact there's wait lists
everywhere.
Yes, and if we can all worktogether and be like, hey, I'm
(58:05):
full, Can you go here?
Like, or if they've got, youknow, the capacity to send a
referral here, then it's justawesome.
It's just like in the militaryman, when we were like, uh,
Marsoc unit out out in Jordan,we had a green beret team come
in like hey, we don't knowanything about VBSS, Can you
teach us?
Let's partner together andlet's learn how to do this Like
(58:26):
yes, let's fucking do that,Because that's how, that's how
this shit happens is.
It's causes that chain reaction.
We work together, we grow as acommunity and that collective
healing is going to fucking endthe stigma to where.
You know, mental health is nota bad thing.
It's not going to make you lessof a warrior.
It's not going to make you lessof a fighter, Like I've been in
(58:47):
a testament to that, Like I cango meditate, I can, you know,
take care of myself.
Do all this breath work, comehome, be a loving husband and a
loving father, and then I canget in, step into a ring and I
can beat somebody up.
Speaker 2 (59:02):
Truth is in the pudding.
Speaker 3 (59:04):
Yeah, and then, like what I've told, like our active
duty guys that come through islike if you can learn how to, if
you can learn these superpowersnow and learn how to kind of
control your emotions and takecare of yourself, like you're
going to be that much more clearand level headed on the
battlefield.
You take that time that youneed to come back, rest and
reset.
Like we understand that there'sgoing to be times when we kind
(59:28):
of have ebbs and flows.
It's normal human emotions.
Like you look at the St, weunderstand that there's going to
be times when we have ebbs andflows.
It's normal human emotions.
You look at the Stoics and theytalk about that stuff.
They've literally taken thetime to write things down and to
meditate on this shit.
They're like, dude, I need asecond.
I have to shake this trauma offof the fucking battle and then
I'm going to be right back in.
You don't need to bench me, youdon't need to remove me from a
(59:49):
team.
Give me a couple days and I'llfucking be back and I'll be
ready to whip it on.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Absolutely, man.
That's the whole thing to teachguys.
It's like you can take a knee,process something, move forward
and get back in the fight.
It doesn't have to end yourcareer, it doesn't have to end
your service.
You do have to address it, likeat one point or another it's
going to rear its ugly head.
You can either face it andfight it head on right now or
(01:00:15):
take the path that many of ushave gone through and deal with
it when we absolutely destroyand wreck our lives.
Don't recommend it.
Zero out of five stars.
Please take care of yourselvesnow, nick.
I can't thank you enough, man,once again, if people want to be
able to take advantage of yourprograms, how can we get ahold
of you?
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Yeah, so best way to do that is go to our website,
wwwtalensreachfoundationorg.
You can click up thereApplications whatever the tab is
, find the application section.
There's one to volunteer andthen there's one for um, the
Eagle applications, so all ofthe participants.
(01:00:55):
We call them Eagles, um, as perthe special operations.
So, um, yeah, you can go there.
You can learn more on thewebsite.
You can also follow us onInstagram, facebook, linkedin,
um site.
You can also follow us onInstagram, facebook, linkedin.
We've got amazing social mediacontent and stuff that gets
pushed out on a weekly basis.
(01:01:16):
So if you want to learn moreabout just education around all
of these different stuff or getplugged in that way, you can
always message us there.
You can email me directly.
It's just nick attalonsreachfoundationorg.
You can email me directly.
It's just nick attalentsreachfoundationorg.
You can email our info,whatever it is.
Please don't be afraid to reachout.
I'm there, our team is there.
(01:01:39):
So you know we're ready,willing and able to help out and
hopefully we'll have some moreguys come out.
Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Heck, yeah, you heard right there.
Folks, do me a favor, go aheadand pause this episode.
Head on over to the episodedescription, whether on YouTube
or Spotify, and click on thoselinks and get connected with
Nick and his team at TalentStreet Foundation today.
And one more thing I want youto understand and take this away
from today's conversation, ifnothing else that you can dream
of doing big things that impactyour community, our veteran
(01:02:08):
community.
You can put it out on paper,you can look at it and, even if
it seems impossible, you can dothis.
All it takes is a little bit ofdedication, some courage and
being willing to go back intothe unknown.
I'm telling you, it's not goingto be easy and even as Nick
talked about it, he didn't havea way forward.
He didn't know intimately howto do it.
He just knew that he was goingto actually go out there and do
(01:02:29):
it.
And oftentimes that's all youneed.
Just need to be stubborn andyou need to be able to visualize
just one step forward, not two,not three.
Just one Form the LLC.
Go, take that class on how tostart a business.
Do whatever you need to tostart moving forward in your
dream.
You don't have to figure outthe whole thing.
Hell, I'm not figuring out thewhole thing and I've just
launched another podcast.
That's right.
Here's a shameless plug for theasset mindset brought to you by
(01:02:52):
and wait for it, media guy willput it in there Security halt
media.
I don't know what the fuck I'mdoing and I'm still doing it,
folks.
Thank you for tuning in.
It's been a pleasure, nick.
I cannot wait to have you backon to share more about your
awesome foundation.
And again, if you're a softservice member or enabler and
you need help, reach out toTalentsReach today.
I'm Danny Caballero.
(01:03:13):
It's been a pleasure having youtoday and we'll see you all
next time.
Until then, take care.
Thanks for tuning in and don'tforget to like, follow, share,
subscribe and review us on yourfavorite podcast platform.
If you want to support us, headon over to buymeacoffeecom
forward slash SecHawk podcastand buy us a coffee.
Connect with us on Instagram Xor TikTok and share your
(01:03:36):
thoughts or questions abouttoday's episode.
You can also visitsecurityhawkcom for exclusive
content, resources and updates.
And remember we get throughthis together.
If you're still listening, theepisode's over.
Yeah, there's no more Tune intomorrow or next week.
Security Odd Podcast.
Let's go the only podcastthat's purpose-built from the
ground up to support you Notjust you, but the wider audience
, everybody.
Authentic, impactful andinsightful conversations that
serve a purpose to help you.
And the quality has gone up.
It's decent.
(00:21):
It's hosted by me, DannyCaballero.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It's decent, it's hosted by me, danny Caballero
Dude, we share a DNA.
Raiders and Green Berets ohyeah, we're like stepbrothers.
One of my good friends shoutout to you Tim Molesky, also a
Raider.
Dude, it's like we were on thesame detachment.
It's like, dude, we would bereally good.
(00:42):
Bravos together.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, I've worked with a lot of good green braves
man.
I definitely they're.
You can tell all thesimilarities.
And then it's funny becausemarsoc just like mirrored
everything that you guys did.
So it's like you're not goingto go to 18 bravo anymore, we're
going to create our own course.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay, no way, dude, like I want to go to bravo
course it's literally likestepbrothers yeah yeah, oh man,
nick jones, welcome to the show,man yeah, man, thanks for
having me man, I love seeingguys that are getting after it
in this space, non-profit space,getting involved in helping
heal our brothers, because thatgives us that.
(01:23):
I mean not saying that we needthat every nonprofit needs to be
led by a soft member or, youknow, a former combat veteran,
but yeah, it does give you thatthe instant, like G check, like
you know, it's like OK, if I gothere, they know me, they know
what we're about.
So, dude, I want to dive intoyour story.
I want to know how you cameinto this world and how it
became a possibility for you.
(01:44):
And I want to dive into yourstory.
I want to know how you cameinto this world and how it
became a possibility for you.
And I want to say that I wasdoing my deep dive, checking in
on you, and you put something onInstagram that was really
powerful and I think more peopleneed to understand it.
It was a simple picture thatyou had written out your plan
for this foundation and said youhad a timeline and you were
going to execute this, and Ithink that's something that we
(02:06):
forget.
If you dream of something, ifyou want to see something be
created, write it out, put it ona piece of paper.
Take that first little step,that little action step.
It doesn't have to be to startyour own business, it could be
go back to school, but somethingas simple as writing it out,
put it on paper and makingyourself accountable for that
dream.
Like just looking back to that,I think that time has also said
(02:27):
like 2020, I think that's the Imean.
And then, a few years later,boom, here you are.
Man.
So, uh, yeah, one of the.
Let you know that, uh, yourjourney is inspirational to so
many people out there, not justour brothers and sisters in the
military, but our civilianbrothers and sisters as well.
Man, so kudos to you.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well, thanks, man, I appreciate it, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I appreciate youhaving me on, I appreciate you
giving me a platform to continuesharing the story.
And you know, it is somethingthat I was having a conversation
the other day, kind of aboutthe, the like a victim mentality
, right, like we, as as specialoperators, as even just military
(03:13):
in general.
Like you know, you take that,that oath right off the bat.
You're committing to somethinghigher than yourself, you're
committing to a life of serviceand then, whenever we take
selection and go to the, themilitaries, the United States,
or even the you know the world'shardest schools, you know
military, you go to free fall,you do all these cool things
(03:36):
sniper school, breacher school,like things that civilians can't
even fathom, right.
So we, we take the charge, wego to selection, we go to the
qualification course or ITC orwhatever you know pipeline
you're going through and thenfast forwarding to transition
and when things get hard, wekind of just like expect stuff
(03:58):
to get better, we expect thesecertain circumstances to just
come about, rather thanunderstanding where we came from
.
It's like wait, we worked thishard to get where we wanted to
be and we set those goals.
We constantly drove to meetthose goals and expectations
that we've already set and we'veheld ourselves to the highest
(04:20):
of standards throughout theentire like duration of those
courses, the pipelines, the teamtimes, the deployments, so like
what changes when we get out?
There is like that chemicaltype of imbalance.
If you've got the ptsd or ortraumatic brain injury or you
know these, certain things dohappen, these signs and symptoms
can arise and you know, are.
(04:41):
Those are the things that weare trying to help to identify
and to educate on and thencombat.
But I've been toying with thisthing lately is, like, you know
this, this victim mentality thatwe kind of fall into.
Um, I think it stems from notnot having a goal anymore, not
having a purpose, not having avision or a mission, and not
(05:02):
just putting the thing down onpaper Like how did you get where
you wanted to be?
You know, like having a goalanymore, not having a purpose,
not having a vision or a mission, and not just putting the thing
down on paper Like how did youget where you wanted to be?
You know, like I don't.
I don't know what drove you tojoin the military, but you know,
for me I had Marine reconposters and photos and I had the
recon creed up on my wall.
I was like 13 years old and I'malready like dreaming about
(05:23):
this stuff.
He's a little bit radicalized.
I had no idea what a visionboard was, but I created it in
my room and, um, you know, it'ssetting those goals at an early
stage.
And now it's like, okay, I, Ikeep, I gotta keep doing that.
I have to keep doing somethinghard every single day to to keep
(05:44):
moving forward.
So I kind of just went on alittle ramble, but thank you for
having me.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
We need to hear those things, man.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We forget.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, I think it happens to a lot of us.
We get out of the military,whether we do 20, 30, 40 years
in.
Or you do a couple, a couple ofpubs and you get out, uh, years
in.
Or you do a couple, a couple ofpumps and you get out, uh.
When you're removed from yourrank and file, from the high
achievers, from the friggingEagles, you can be bombarded by
(06:14):
messaging of hey, take a kneefor a while, relax, sit on the
couch, don't dream, becomfortable, seek comfort.
And it just keeps gettingbigger and bigger.
And that message continues toget pumped into your brain piece
and you're like, yeah, yeah, Iwas once a high achiever.
I don't have to do that anymore.
I can just be the fat body guythat gets out, plays a couple
rounds of golf on the weekendand talks about the best years
(06:35):
of his life and how far they areback there.
But that's not the reality.
That doesn't have to be ourlife.
That doesn't have to be ourlife.
That doesn't have to be ourtruth.
We can get out, we can heal, wecan recover, we can get back
after, we can do great things.
And it goes back to thatchildhood mentality of like,
what do you want to be, what didyou want to go after?
And we forget that we can havethat same sort of enthusiasm
(06:59):
right now, today, about whatwe're passionate about.
We can have that.
We don't have to let go of that.
It's not going to be fun, it'snot going to be easy.
But when in your life have yougone after the easy and the fun?
At no point in any of the Qcourse, in any of like going
into the Marsoc Raider training,was it ever like wow, this is
fucking amazing and fun.
(07:19):
Maybe moments, but for a vastmajority of it it was hard, it
was miserable, it was extremelydifficult.
But you knew that it was thebuy-in.
It was the absolute fuckingbuy-in to that greatness that we
were all trying to strive for.
And the same things on theoutside come to find out.
You just have to fall in lovewith the process.
Nobody wants to stay up till 3or 4 am to get stuff out, but
(07:45):
it's getting you closer to thatend goal and it's going to.
It's going to.
You have to believe in theprocess.
You have to fall in love withthe ugly stuff.
That's the unfortunate side,yeah.
So when you got out, man like,tell us that.
Take us to that journey.
Like you went through somethingridiculously painful, brutal.
How do you go through theprocess of getting injured and
then saying you know what, likeI want to.
(08:07):
I want to turn all this intosomething of purpose to help
others.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, um, so it was.
It was very challenging.
Um, you know, coming from peakperformance, peak capabilities
of my military career, havinggoals, aspirations within the
military, I did not expect toget out.
(08:33):
When I did, I had proposed tomy wife in January 2019, up on
top of a peak in Montana andsaid, hey, in 10 years, when I
retire, we're going to move outhere and raise a family.
And I had no vision of comingout any sooner than that and
(08:54):
then fast forward a year and acouple months, get injured.
The first thing that I told mysurgeon when I saw him I was
like I need you to get me betterso I can go back on deployment.
I was only there for two monthsand he's like, okay, like, so,
we'll try everything that we can.
And so, complication aftercomplication, it just started to
(09:16):
come in physically, but then,like all all of this mental
struggle, started to come inthat.
So it was the height of covet.
It was so march 8th 2020 whenwe did that cave clearance
operation.
Um, you know, I remember rollingthrough checkpoints in iraq and
(09:36):
we were in big armored vehiclesand they would be spraying our
vehicles with freaking water andbleach solutions as we roll by.
It's like dude, this is madness, this is wild.
They're all in their asbestossuits walking around.
They don't know what the hellthey're doing.
It was the funniest thing, andwe didn't realize how much was
(09:58):
happening in the States either.
So then, finally, when I make itback home, it's April, april
timeframe, and I get up toWalter Reed, and if anybody's
been to Bethesda or DC on anormal functioning day, that
place is a hustle and bustle.
There's traffic everywhere,there wasn't a car in sight.
(10:20):
It was like a zombie apocalypse.
Weird, super weird, eeriefeeling.
Um, so that's kind of wherethings started to set in.
I was like holy crap, there'snobody around.
Um, I get into walter reed andthere's uh, we didn't get any
visitors.
Um, the marine corps didn'tcome, barsock, socom wounded
(10:44):
warrior project, like there wasnobody to be found, and I was
like you know, they're takingthis very serious or they forgot
about me, and so I think it wasa mixture of both.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So this is what it feels like to be an injured
Marine.
Awesome man, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yep, they definitely, they definitely.
Uh, you know, I could have atleast had some crayons or
something.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I'm hungry you get a 24 pack yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So, um, you know, that was that was.
It was the start of it all.
Man, I felt super alone.
I had my wife there and whenthings started to compound, it
was it was.
It started to set in.
I was like the community's gone.
This physical injury took mefrom the highest highs to the
lowest lows, but now all of thismental struggle is catching up
(11:37):
with me.
So I finally got a couple moresurgeries and then the Marine
Corps told me hey, you'redisqualified from special
operations.
You have an option to getseparated or retired, whichever
one you get qualified for easycoming to these decisions.
(12:05):
But I was like, hey, let's,let's just let's make our dream
come true and go out to montananow.
And so she said screw it, let'sdo it.
So we were scrolling zillow,like we scroll instagram, you
know, and it's like trying tofind a place out here, and we
ended up finding a beautifulspot, kind of pretty much sight
unseen, and we purchased theplace.
And so now it was like, okay,we've got a location, leaving
north carolina behind.
So now what do I do?
(12:26):
I'm about to go and I'mfreaking at sea level.
There's no mountains around.
Now I'm going to go to a placewhere there's mountains, rolling
hills everywhere, and I can'teven walk like I don't know what
happened.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What was the nature of the injury?
Speaker 3 (12:40):
so, um, I ended up getting shot in the the right
shin, um, and it basically wentin and severed my superficial
peroneal nerve, um, so it's oneof your main sensory nerves in
your leg and it was like onimpact.
I basically developed this raresyndrome called complex
(13:01):
regional pain syndrome.
So it it takes over the nervoussystem and it basically goes
haywire.
But it's, it's stuck in my legfrom my knee down, so my leg
would like swell, get discolored, get um, like super painful.
I couldn't even wear a boot, Icouldn't wear a sock.
It was, it was wild.
(13:22):
So when I came back and got myfirst surgery, they tried to.
So they amputated a littlesection of the nerve and then
they put in a cadaver nerve.
I had these actually twosections, so they snipped them
both and then put in cadavernerves and it was one of the
longest cadavers for nerves thatthey have tried.
(13:44):
Well, they ended up growingtogether, fusing together and
creating this huge neuroma, solike a ball of a nerve.
So then my leg swelled evenmore and this symptom got even
worse and now it's like my legwas like going to pop.
It was, it was just wild.
So now the pain's even worse.
(14:06):
Now I really can't fucking walkum.
And I start toying with otherother um interventions.
I had like a stimulator thathung out of my leg at one point
with this battery pack that kindof taped to my leg.
So it was supposed to stimulatethe sciatic nerve, the main
(14:27):
nerve in in the leg, to kind ofcalm things down that way.
But that didn't work.
So then we went in um, itactually amputated the nerve.
So cut the whole whole neuromaout, cut all of that stuff out,
and just they.
It's called a targeted musclere-innervation.
So they basically took somemuscle and my nerve gave it a
(14:50):
point to call like it's new home.
Cause if a nerve doesn't haveit's it's what they do mainly
for amputations, like full blownamputations.
So then the it.
It is supposed to help withthat ghost, the phantom limb
pain and things like that.
So we tried that for that onenerve.
But I guess I had some residualstuff going on.
(15:13):
Pain was still out of control.
So then we installed a spinalcord stimulator.
So I had this stimulator thesize of a dip can in my back,
stimulator the size of a dip canin my back, um, and then I had
eventually I had to have it, Ihad.
So the original surgery, I hadthree wire leads installed.
(15:34):
Um, they have to do a trial.
They only put in two andthey're like okay, well, when we
do the full install we'll putin three.
So we put in three wires and atthis time during my recovery
I'm very much a raging alcoholic.
I'm trying my hardest to.
I even told myself right offthe bat because I was sober
(15:56):
during deployment and I was likeI'm going to ride this out
until recovery finishes.
But when I had all thesecomplications, I remember asking
my surgeon at one point I waslike hey, I know I'm on a huge
cocktail of medicine, but can Idrink?
And he's like I'm not advisingyou to do one way or the other.
He's like but you are on a lotof medications, he's like if you
(16:19):
would like a drink, you can tryto have one.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I was like there it is, I'm gonna start, that's
always us, it's always yeah, soI can have one right one bottle
rather than that.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I'm gonna put this to the test yeah, we fall victim
to that real fast oh yeah, andthat I did, man, like, I started
to drink more and more, um, andthen it turned into just what
it used to be man.
I fucking started drinking mylife away and I couldn't do
anything else.
(16:56):
I was drinking pretty heavily,man, and I started to hide it
from my wife and, um, I wouldtry to find excuses for her to
go out of town or leave for acertain amount of hours so I
could just try to get as drunkas I could.
Well, I got super drunk onenight and I ended up falling
because I can't balance verywell, I can't walk very well,
(17:17):
and I fell and it actually mademy wires slip out of the normal
spot.
So now it's like thisstimulator is constantly going
and I, I didn't know, I I justknew that my back hurt really
bad.
So now I had to wait for theincisions to heal, for them to
go back in to adjust things,cause, like something's not
(17:39):
right, like I feel like it'sjust all fucked up and my leg is
hurting really bad.
So they took x-rays and, sureas shit, like those wires are
all like moved and tangled inthere and uh, like what happened
?
I was like I don't know, Icouldn't tell you.
Uh, and I knew exactly whathappened.
(18:00):
So they ended up having to goback in, do the whole surgery
over, and then they added in anextra lead.
So, anyways, I had severaldifferent surgeries and then
finally I kind of got sick of it.
My pain was still really bad,and this is fast forwarding to
(18:22):
June of 2022.
My pain was still really bad, myback hurt really bad and I
called my surgeon and said, hey,I'm done with this man, I don't
want the leg anymore and Idon't want this stimulator
anymore.
If neither of them are working,then let's take them both.
(18:43):
And so he's like no, we got acouple options, let's try
something else.
And it's just like I'm justdone being a pincush, I'm done
with the experimental stuff.
We know amputation works.
He's like the only problem isthis complex regional pain
syndrome.
It can jump.
We cause more trauma.
It can travel up to your thighand where your injury is.
(19:05):
We could try to go below theknee, but we just we don't have
enough room to work with, so wemight have to do above the knee
and I'm like called the suralnerve it's another really major
nerve and then one down by myshin or my ankle.
(19:31):
And then, on the same surgery,he removed to the spinal cord
simulator and dude, I woke upand was like that's, when I
started setting those goals, Iwas like this is it for sure?
I would say that after everysurgery.
But I could feel different man.
I was like this is it for sure?
I would say that after everysurgery.
But I could feel different man.
I was like this is it for sure?
Um, I ended up throwing the,the Walker, away, like three
(19:52):
days after surgery.
And then I was, I was walking, Iwas, I was moving, this is it,
I can feel it.
So I just ditched the caneentirely too and I was like I'm,
I'm going to learn all of thisover again, like I'm, I'm ready.
And then it was like he wasthere, man just just kept
incrementally getting better andI was like no fucking way like
that, this worked and sure asshit.
(20:14):
Like I just kept on moving,setting these goals.
And I remember looking out ofmy window one day and I saw the
highest peak in the mountainrange.
I was like I'm going up thereon the one year anniversary.
And I saw the highest peak inthe mountain range.
I was like I'm going up thereon the one year anniversary, and
then I fucking did it, man, andthen I just started setting
these goals.
After that it was like it wasgreat.
So that was a very long way oftelling you what my injury was.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, that's perfect, man.
That's yeah, it's calledstorytelling.
You're doing a great job of it.
Yeah thank you.
Yeah, no it, you're doing agreat job of it.
Yeah, no, it's.
Um, it's remarkable, man.
A lot of times, you know it'swhen you can see the graphic
injury of somebody that's goneto war, it's like, oh shit, like
man dude's missing an arm, he'smissing a leg, and those are.
(20:58):
Those are powerful stories,powerful testaments.
But when you're dealing withsomething that's like, oh, you
got shot, but the, the, theinjury is complex and it
involves nerves and it's likepeople can't see what's going on
inside that your leg.
They can't see what's the fightthat you're in here.
You can't feel that pain likethat.
You can't connect with thatpart of your body and or it's
(21:19):
sending constant fires.
Like you know, suicide's a realthing.
These injuries can leadindividuals to lose hope, to
lose that ability to lookforward and say it might not be
today, it might not be tomorrow,but soon I'll figure this out.
What kept you in the fight, man?
This is not something that'seasy when they can say, when
(21:41):
there's a definitive answer oflike, hey, we're going to take
the leg, we're going to take itbelow the knee, you're done, you
can accept that, you can startmoving, you can start healing
rapidly, you can start movinginto that post.
You know post-op and startgoing into that, but when it's
like, hey, we're going to cutinto your back.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Now we're going to cut into that's.
So that's the hardest partabout it is like I was.
I was in such a good mindset atthe beginning because we've got
that warrior mindset.
I was like I know I'm going toget fixed, I know I'm going to
get back to the team.
I know I'm going to beoperational again Like we're.
We're invincible.
You know I I'm going to beoperational again.
We're invincible.
I made it through that.
(22:26):
I'm not dead.
I'm still here, I'm ready tokeep fighting.
But it was multiplecomplications and I didn't even
(22:51):
talk about all the infections.
I got that back one done.
I developed this sensitivity toadhesives and the different
glue that they used.
So every time, dude, I wouldhave these nasty infections on
anywhere that the adhesivestouched and we couldn't find
very many alternatives becausewe had to kind of seal that
stuff up.
So it was just gross man likebleeding on my couches and
(23:11):
changing my sheets all the time.
But I still kept as positive asI could.
You know I was still with thecommunity.
I was very much, you know,tried to get as involved as I
could.
I was very much trying to getas involved as I could.
Teams would invite me out to goto a range or something like
that, just to kind of build meup and show me that my buddies
(23:33):
are there for me.
And then it was.
You know, I thought moving toMontana was going to be the
cure-all.
You know, it's the magic in themountains, the healing, the
hunting, being outdoors and allof this.
(23:54):
But as soon as I got here man Iwas, I was completely removed
from everybody.
I had very little friends rightoff the bat, like I fell into a
community that it was verycaring.
They were very appreciative ofmy service, they tried to get me
in the mountains to go hunting.
And then when I tried to go outthere and the pain was so
unreal, I was like dude, Ifucking can't do this.
Like I'm, I'm, I'm fallingvictim to this, like I'm just
(24:19):
slowly slooping down into thisfucking never ending cycle of
just pain and remorse and shameand guilt and everything.
Man was just all trapped insideof my mind and I started giving
up.
I never thought that I would,you know, say the words like I
(24:44):
quit and I started doing thingsthat were just like very
reckless and very dangerous.
And how much I was drinking wasjust like.
It was absolutely insane.
And all the medications I wason, I was like I'm, I feel like
I'm, you know, trying to do thiswithout you know, without
putting a gun to my head.
(25:05):
And then I had this opportunityto go to a Legion of Valor
conference.
So it was for Navy Cross andMedal of Honor recipients or any
Cross recipient, medal of Honorrecipient.
So it's actually one of theoldest veteran service
organizations around.
(25:26):
I think it was founded in 1891.
Wow, all of these valorrecipients, they get together
and now they hold conventions,they share about stories of
valor, they go to museums, theyall get together.
It's.
It was the most fascinatingthing ever because, like, there
was, there's guys from thekorean war, um cross and medal
(25:49):
of honor recipients, vietnam,and then, uh, you know, it's
starting to grow a little bitinto our era, but there was only
a couple from oif, oef, andthen I was the only one from OIR
that has joined that so far,and so, anyways, I went there
with this one goal in mind.
I had my own agenda and I waslike how are you guys still
(26:12):
alive?
How are you here?
Because I have these horriblethoughts in my mind and I just
want to fucking quit.
I didn't say any of that outloud until this one dude started
sharing his story and he waslike 15 years after the fact I
attempted suicide because of howheavy this, the weight of this
award and the mission, was on meand I just started breaking
(26:36):
down and my wife like was likewhat's wrong with this fucking
guy and um, and so then thatnight I told her, I told her
everything, and I was like look,um, and my wife was five months
pregnant at the time with mydaughter.
I said, um, it was.
(26:56):
You know.
A couple nights after you toldme that you were pregnant, after
Christmas that I went into thegarage and I said I quit, and I
put a gun to my head and Ipulled the trigger and I had a
fucking light strike in my Glockand I had never shared that
(27:18):
with anybody, with her, with theworld, nothing.
I fucking didn't tell anybodybecause I wasn't ashamed, but I
was fucking scared, not of whatpeople are going to say or judge
me.
I know people talk aboutsuicide as being a selfish act
and at the time it was the mostselfless thing that I could do
(27:39):
because I was fucking strugglingso bad.
I felt like such a burden thatI was like I'm, I'm done doing
this to people, like I'm justtearing my wife apart.
If my daughter sees who I am,like I'm, I'm, I'm going to ruin
her life.
And it just fucking tore me up.
(27:59):
Man, I was like dude, I've shottens of thousands of rounds
through these glocks and I've Imean, you've had light strikes,
but because of a dirty gun.
This is a house gun, thisdoesn't fucking happen.
And so, just like it putsomething into perspective for
me.
And when I finally told her, Ihad this weight lifted off of my
chest and I was like I got tofucking do something like and at
(28:20):
this I was running thefoundation at this time I was
still currently like trying totell people hey, this is how you
get better.
And here I am at the, at mylowest of lows, just wanting to
quit.
And so, um, right after that, Iwas like I have to come up with
a plan.
So I called my friends, Icalled everybody closest to me,
(28:42):
and I was like I have to tellyou something.
And I told them the whole storyand I was like I need a plan, I
need to know that you're therefor me when things get bad.
And they're like I've alwaysbeen here for you, like I've got
your back.
And so I was like, well, fuck,like I thought I was alone this
whole time, but all everybody'shere to help me.
I just needed to ask.
And so then I just startedgetting off my ass and it was
(29:05):
right.
After, that is when I called mysurgeon for the surgeries and a
sequence of events happened.
I lost one of my best friendson July 10th of 2022 to an
alcohol-related incident.
He's only 30 years old.
(29:26):
He was at home, he was drinkinga bunch and then had a
pancreatic attack.
Well, went into the hospitaland while he was in the hospital
, they gave him a 50-50 chanceto survive this pancreatic
attack, and then they said hestarted to go through
withdrawals and immediately whenhe went through those alcohol
(29:46):
withdrawals, it fucking killedhim because of how hard his body
was fighting.
Both of those things Um, thatwas July 10th of 2022.
So I'm in the airport cause I?
My surgery was July 12th.
I'm in the airport because mysurgery was July 12th of 22.
(30:07):
Well, as I'm there, I wascelebrating for the boys the
five-year anniversary.
So July 10th of 2017, there wasthe C-130 crash that killed 15
Marines and one Navy corpsman.
Seven of those guys were fromHotel Company 2nd Raider
Battalion and one of them wasTalon Leach.
(30:30):
So Talon was one of my bestfriends growing up in Marsauk
and I lived with him and hiswife and they called me that
night and they're like hey,talon just died in this plane
crash.
You need to go notify his wife.
He put you down on his paper.
I was like motherfucker, thatdoesn't happen.
Why me?
Why now, All of these questions?
(30:52):
So, anyways, I'm at the airport,I'm drinking for those guys and
I get that phone call.
They tell me about the alcoholstuff and I knew I just had this
flash of the last five years.
I was like I know what happenshere, like I'm going to spiral
down and this alcoholism isgoing to get worse or I can make
a choice right now.
And I fucking took anotherdrink of this beer and I set it
(31:15):
to the side.
I was like I'm done, like thisis it.
This is where things changeright now.
So I go get that surgery.
And this is where the mindsetstarted to change, because I get
the surgery and like I'm goingthrough my own withdrawals of
alcohol, I'm also going throughall the pains and the struggles
of the surgery.
(31:35):
But then I'm, you know, I, I setthese goals, man, and I was
like I am fucking fighting, I'ma fighter, I'm, I'm doing this
shit like this, it's my time.
So, um, I just, I just keptpushing, man, I kept setting
those goals.
Um, I hit milestones, certainmilestones throughout the year
(31:59):
and when, like you know, thesobriety was was one of those
things that I was chasing.
But I wasn't putting an enddate on it because I'm like I
don't want to make it just tothe end of recovery.
I don't want to make it to thisone, because that's going to
put pressure on me.
I'm just going to take it dayby day.
And that was the same withrecovery mentally and physically
.
Let's take it day by day, let'swork on today.
(32:22):
If something comes up, I'mgoing to deal with it as it
comes, because all of thesethings created new issues.
I would get one milestone aheadwith my injury and then
something else would hurt,because I add in this or I start
lifting, and now my back hurtsbecause of whatever it is.
So it was just trying to to beadaptable, like, like we do best
(32:45):
.
You know, it's like if aproblem arises, I'm going to
figure out how to attack thatnew problem, and so I just
started to readapt that specialoperator mindset.
It's like I I know I can dothis.
I need the tools and theresources.
I've got the the community.
I found that out right awaywhen I, when I called for help,
I put that red star cluster upand everyone was like I'm
(33:08):
fucking here, dude, you givethat support call and and
they're there, they'll come.
I just got the goosebumpsthinking about it, because it's
like it's real and we've.
Every time we're we're in thatslump, we think that it's all on
us and it's like we're herewaiting, we're there on standby.
Qrf is a real thing, man.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, it's.
One of the most painful thingsto witness is when you lose a
friend and when everybody showsup for them and those memorials
if only they would have reachedout.
You always ask yourself if onlythey reached out.
How many times do we have tohave these discussions to know
(33:53):
you're never truly alone, eventhe worst of us, the guys that
just have burned every bridgebecause of drugs, because of
alcohol, and you've turned yourback and you've hurt people?
Yes, even you.
You have people that love youand care about you, and all you
have to do is fucking pick upthe phone.
You're not alone.
Let people know what you'regoing through, and that's the
(34:13):
hardest thing.
We all struggle through it.
And it doesn't have to be justwhen you're dealing with suicide
.
If you're dealing with problemsat home, if work is getting to
you, if you're in a situationwhere, like fuck man, you just
need a friend, pick up yourphone and call the same dudes
that you were in a platoon within the 82nd and 75th Ranger
Regiment, freaking.
Wherever you served, theyremember you, even if you
(34:36):
haven't talked to them in years.
Pick up the phone, reach out,man.
That's truly something that weneed to advocate more of.
We all need to understand thathealing and modalities are
amazing and what worked for mecan work for you.
Maybe some of them, maybe notall of them, but some of the
things that have helped me canhelp you.
(34:57):
But I know for a fact the onething that you can always rely
on is that buddy, that textthread, elgops, little Groups of
Paratroopers the three peopleyou always talk to the most, the
people that have always beenthere for you Reach out, text
them.
It might be uncomfortable foryou for a little bit to say, hey
, I'm struggling.
Use some dark humor.
It's gotten you through theworst.
(35:18):
Man, we always rely on humor.
Send that meme.
Check in on your friends.
Rely on humor.
Send that meme.
Check in on your friends.
When you look back and reflecton this journey, it is such a
powerful thing to hear youdescribe that moment of going
all the way through it,squeezing the trigger and having
(35:41):
a light strike.
That is not something that Imean.
It gave me goosebumps justhearing it now and you're not
the only person these stories ofgoing all the way through it
and then something intervened.
Did you find yourself morewilling to investigate that
third domain?
(36:01):
That spirit?
Your mind is not there.
Your body's not there, yourspirit's gone.
But in that moment, any of us,even if you're a devout atheist,
you have to see the divineintervention in that.
Did you find yourself in thatmoment?
Speaker 3 (36:34):
being willing to say like holy shit, I hear you, he
would just be running aroundchasing his ball and stuff.
But that night he I left thedoor a little bit cracked just
in case he, he wanted to come in, and uh, and he could hear that
something was off.
And when I when I, you knowpulled the trigger and just
(36:58):
started bawling my eyes outbecause I was fully expecting
something, and you know when youhave started bawling my eyes
out because I was fullyexpecting something, and you
know, when you have, when you'reon the range, whether you're
about to do a sniper engagementor even just you know CQB, and
you have that, that light strike, or that, that failure to fire,
there's that kind of flinch insome way, shape or form, and
(37:22):
they we always say it's theloudest sound in a gunfight when
your gun goes dry.
It was literally the loudestthing I've ever heard, because
my ears started ringing and then, all of a sudden, this pain,
this sorrow, this scream cameout of my fucking face and I
just started bawling my eyes out.
I can literally see it stilllike burned, and I couldn't see
(37:47):
my face, but it was like I waslooking at me.
And then he comes in and juststarts fucking, like attacking
me, licking me, and was like,dude, you're okay, like come
back.
And then it just like I set thegun down and was like what the
fuck am I doing?
Like, why am I trying to quit?
(38:07):
And I was like there's, there'sdefinitely something bigger and
I don't know what that is.
It took me a while to, I guess,talk about it to realize it
because, like, I mean, it wasvery much something saying like
you're not done, you're, you'rehere to stay, like you're,
(38:28):
you're here for a bigger purpose.
And you know I've not right offthe bat, but, uh, you know I've
started to get more spiritualand really look into into that
side a little bit more and asklike, why, why'd you save me?
Why, who saved me?
Into that side a little bitmore and ask like why, why'd you
save me?
Why, who saved me?
(38:48):
Um, and it doesn't matter whoor why or what, it was it.
You know, something higherpower gave me another chance.
Um, I wasn't, I wasn't ready tobe called home yet.
So, um, you know I to be calledhome yet.
(39:09):
So, um, you know I, I've morerecently gone.
Um, it was several months afterthat I went and did um some
other plant medicine, journeys,um and feel, feel like I've
really, you know, been connectedtowards a real higher power and
, um, my, my, my body, spirit,soul, everything is, is very
connected in line now and, youknow, I feel so grateful to have
(39:33):
experienced something like that, as fucking crazy as it sounds,
but, um, you know it's, I don'tknow, it's a journey it's an
absolute journey.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
That's one of the things I always tell people
explore every avenue.
You don't go to war with oneweapon system.
It's just absolutely asinine.
You take every weapon, everyadvantage you can take, and we
have to have the same approachwhen it comes to our mental
health, our well-being, and thiseven if you never got injured
(40:14):
in combat, even if you only ifyou're the guy or gal out there
thinking that, well, I made itthrough my entire service, I
didn't have any issues.
You can have injuries, you canhave moral injury, you can have
all sorts of things you'redealing with outside of the
military.
If you need assistance, bewilling to explore every
modality, and one of the bestones out there is plant medicine
.
There are so many ways to gettreatment in that realm and man,
(40:40):
I've seen it in my own life.
My experience with 5-Meal DMTlike I thought I was well, I'm
doing pretty darn well.
I thought I was the gem and Iwalked in with the intention of
having addressing one issue.
And I go through thatexperience and realize, oh shit,
showed me a whole bunch ofdifferent shit.
It showed me what I really needto focus on and that's how that
(41:02):
, that medicine and so powerfulyou'll come out of it
Understanding so much aboutyourself and what you set your
intention for.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Did you do um you go down to one of the retreats in
Mexico or yeah, so I did, uh, Iutilized vets, um nice, and they
they sent me to, uh, adifferent place to do iboga.
So I know the majority go toTijuana and do the Ibogaine and
DMT combo.
(41:31):
And I got a little advice froma buddy and he said you need the
real deal, you need to go dosomething heavy.
You got a lot to offload and Iwas like all right man, I'll
trust you.
So I went and I did Iboga.
It was in Cancun.
All right man, I'll I'll trustyou.
So I went and I did Iboga.
Um, it was still.
It was in Cancun, um, but itwas.
(41:54):
It was amazing.
It was an amazing like umintroduction to what I really
needed to work on.
It gave me a lot of insights, alot of things to kind of focus
on.
But what it?
What it did was open up a wholedifferent, like you were saying
, a whole different realm ofwhat I actually needed to work
on and what I had no idea I waseven struggling with, which was
(42:17):
my childhood.
Like Iboga is.
I'm not going to go into allthe whatever the science and
history behind it, but it's anancient African root and they
say, like the theory is is, ittakes you back to the root of
your problems.
So, like I didn't see anythingfrom combat, I didn't see
(42:45):
anything from the military, itwas all pre-military and it was
freaking wild.
So it was like, okay, like Ineed to focus on this for a
while.
But then I had this, like youknow, ache inside of me.
Still, it's like, well, how doI offload all of this shit?
So, um, I waited like severalmonths.
Um, I did uh, it's funny, I dida boxing match in between that
(43:07):
time.
Um, cause I wanted to you.
So I wanted to prove myselfagain.
I had all this built up energyand I could finally move again.
So I was like, let's see if Ican.
So I did a charity boxing match.
I ended up winning, which wassuper fun and a cool experience.
But then I started getting theseangry.
All of these other high driveviolence starts coming out again
(43:34):
.
So I'm like sizing up randomdudes while I'm walking around
with my wife and daughter.
I'm like, dude, what am I doing?
Like I just I just got all thisbeautiful insight saying work
on your childhood.
Well, all of that was comingout again.
I'm like I'm not a fuckingscrapper anymore.
I'm not high school.
I can't just go fight randompeople, stop.
(43:55):
So.
So then, uh, I like I kepthearing about ayahuasca and I
was like, okay, I'm, I'm goingto apply for this one and go do
that.
So I went back down to mexico,down towards mexico city, um,
and I utilized hero cardsproject this time, um, head down
(44:15):
there and had the most profoundhealing, loving, opening, just
amazing experience.
Um, I mean, it was, it was hardas shit.
Like that medicine is, is notgentle, um, and very much like
(44:36):
5meo, like it gives you what youneed when you need it.
Um, and it was.
It was the most eye-opening butbeautiful, connecting medicine
that I've done.
I had some very profound combatdeath situations, but also this
(44:57):
beautiful, all-encompassinglife and love shell-cracking.
Without going into all thedetails, it was very healing, it
was very enlightening.
I remember at one point likefeeling this, like bolt of
energy run through me and I likewanted to get up, be like guys.
I'm healed, like I can feel it,I feel so good.
(45:20):
I was saying all this in myhead and when I, like, I tried
to move and I was like I'mthere's, I'm not getting up,
getting up, um, feeling it whenI can't do it, yeah, and it was.
It was amazing, man.
I came home and, um, you know,my wife saw the, the jurassic
change, and she was like, youknow, you're sitting over here
(45:42):
like the, the buddha master, andI'm, I'm over here feeling like
the crazy one at times now,like it was just, it was wild,
like how much of a you know ashift it gave me.
But like I tell people all thetime, and it's not the, it's not
the cure, all it's not, it'snot going to be, the medicine
itself is not the actual fix,it's, it gives you that time and
(46:04):
the space to be able to work onthose things that you need to
work on, cause, like you weresaying, there's a plethora of
tools and resources out therethat you still have to apply
yourself.
You set those intentions, youdo the ceremony, but then doing
the homework is the mostimportant part.
(46:28):
So I'm sure a lot of people haveheard this metaphor of the
snowfall.
So like, if you can imagine themountainside you're on a ski
slope and you've burned theseseveral trails down this
mountain.
So now you've got all of theseruts in there and then you go
and you do plant medicine, youdo psychedelics, and now it's a
(46:51):
fresh snowfall.
It covers up all of those rutsand now you're standing at the
top of the mountain with thisvery fresh blanket of snow.
There's no ruts, there's notrails.
You now get the option to pickyour trail.
You get to go and burn a newtrail, find a new path towards
where you want to go.
And when I heard that, I waslike wow, that's very much what
(47:17):
it did, because I was fallinginto these certain habits and
this different lifestyle, and Iwas like now I'm reset.
I got a nice reset.
Now I get to choose all ofthese, these methods and
modalities and things that Iwant to actually do.
I don't need all the noise andum, the chatter that I've I've
carried around so long.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
So yeah, yeah, that's the noise that we uh, we all
have to let go of and did it.
It's you can't do it withoutplant medicine.
Not saying that you need plantmedicine to do it, but it takes
active work, you have to bedisciplined about it and you
have to face it each and everyday.
So know that it's possible todo it without plant medicine,
(48:01):
but it's also out there to helpyou.
And here's the fun fact Afteryou have this great, amazing
experience, you still have to dothe work.
Otherwise it's just to get likea little bit of time feeling all
this great, wonderful, like newenergy, of new you, and then it
just goes off by the waysidebecause you're not actively
working towards maintaining thatright headspace and being that
(48:23):
best version of yourself.
So if you go do this and have ajourney with it, understand you
gotta got to do work, you gotto be committed to that new
version of you.
Like anything else in life, man, it takes work.
It's not a magic wand, feelsgreat, it's an experience that
will stay with you.
But, like anything else, if youcome back and you go back to
being a piece of shit, you'regoing to be a piece of shit.
You have a great story.
(48:44):
You got to go back and be apiece of shit, Dude so what's
life like now?
what are you doing and how?
How are you continuing themission with talent's reach?
Speaker 3 (48:56):
yeah, man.
So life is good, um stillliving in montana lucky yeah,
it's, it's beautiful here.
Man, spring is is in full uh,full swing.
Green grass, leaves are, leavesare coming back, like it.
It's cool and this is like oneof the most beautiful times
because there's still snow capon the mountains, it's warm down
(49:18):
here and it's just it'sabsolutely beautiful because
there's so many wildflowers.
Like it's funny because theseare things that, like I never
would have paid attention to inthe past, like sure I would have
came attention to in the past,like sure I would have came here
and been like, wow, this issuper beautiful.
But like the little, likeintricate details of nature and
the beauty of life is is one ofthose things that I really
(49:40):
appreciate now.
That being said, so, yeah,living out here, I've got a you
know, a beautiful family.
My wife is absolutely amazing,takes great care of me.
The other day was the militaryspouse appreciation day.
I'm not much of a poster, but Ishared something.
It sucks that there's only oneday to appreciate the military
(50:05):
spouse, because every single daythey carry all of this burden
for us.
Military spouse, because everysingle day they carry all of
this burden for us and theydon't get much like recognition
for it.
And you know, it's like if itwasn't for her, I would not be
here, like I would have fallen along time ago.
Um, but she saw something in me.
Bless her heart for stayingaround.
(50:28):
And you know, now we've got abeautiful two and a half year
old daughter.
That is just an absolute savageand it keeps you on my toes for
sure.
So with the foundation, we'reabout four years old now and
it's great man.
We have a home now.
(50:48):
We've got an office with anattached storage.
It's like one of those littlethings, but it feels so great
Like we're making it happenBecause, like you said, you saw
that post of like years ago.
It started on a freaking napkinand a piece of paper in my
living room while I'm bleedingon my couch with one of my
(51:10):
teammates Like dude.
I think this is going to work.
This is what we should do, andnow it's been so amazing to see
the progress.
We started one program for theyear in a fundraiser and it's
like we had no idea how to raisemoney and I was like I don't
have any experience.
I have no business background.
I have no business doing thisstuff.
(51:31):
I don't know what I'm doing.
Join the club bro.
Yeah.
So it was like a full-blownOGIT, like on the drop training
let's figure it the fuck out.
So we now have a full-timeemployee, we've got the shop,
(51:53):
we're running multiple programsa year, we're doing multiple
fundraisers a year and we'remaking real community impact
because we're staying engaged,we're staying true to ourselves
and true to our nature of whatwe're doing.
Our nature of what we're doing.
So you know, the whole missionbehind this is is we want to be
(52:14):
able to help under operatorsunderstand that they're not
alone.
So we help special operationsforces, members, um, active or
retired, can be direct support.
So we still we help likeenablers and things like that.
So we bring them out here forfive days, we run them through a
program revolved aroundeducation, around signs and
symptoms that can arisethroughout the career, and then
(52:36):
we guide and teach othermodalities to help combat those
through holistic practices, solike yoga, meditation,
mindfulness, breath work, art,music, different things that are
outside of the wheelbox oftraditional medicine, if you
will.
So we want these guys to reallyget in touch with who they are
(53:00):
and what they're truly capableof, because we run a completely
dry program so they don't havethe liquid courage to dig deep.
It's like I want you to feelyour true potential.
You come out here and you sharewhat's really on your mind.
By being you and by seeing that, you understand like, yeah,
(53:21):
fireside chats were great, allof this stuff, but what that
turns into is war story sharing.
You get deep, then you get dark.
Then all of a sudden, all ofthese demons come out and, like
you know that only speeds thosethings up to then clash one day
Like, let's, let's drop thatshit, let's, let's end this.
You know the, the stigma behindmental health and the, the fear
(53:44):
of, like, getting vulnerablewithout the use of of substances
.
It's like let's learn to dothis on your on your own.
You know it's super powerful.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Dude, it's the most aggravating thing to see guys
only tap into their emotionafter they drank their hearts
out.
And then they all get togetherand they're in their dress,
blues after a ceremony, after aball, and then they're.
Then they get vulnerable abouttheir losses, the failures.
You don't have to get drunk toshow emotion amongst your
friends and to help them, helpyou.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
You can do it sober For sure, yeah, it's a very
powerful, very powerful thing,because I've had to bury a
couple friends since becomingsober, had to bury a couple of
friends since becoming sober,and you know, being able to
truly feel everything is is avery powerful experience.
(54:35):
And then being able to share myemotions with people right then
on the spot, because, like Ijust remember, you know, it was
like at funerals back in the day.
It was like I was either drunk,like hungover and probably
still drunk from the nightbefore, waiting to go get drunk
so that I could share morestories, or I, yeah, had bottles
(54:59):
in my socks going intoArlington.
I did not know the first coupleof times that you can't
actually take booze in there.
I'm like I've seen booze allover the place in here.
How can I take this in here?
They're like, no, you can't dothat.
So I was like, okay, I'll gothrow it away and I just put it
in my socks and came right backin.
(55:21):
I was like I'm an alcoholic toa T and so it was like it was
just ridiculous.
But so, yeah, anyways, and thenthe culmination of the programs
out here is we get dudesoutdoors.
We then couple the educationwith the modalities and the
(55:45):
outdoors and it really tieseverything together.
You get back in touch withnature, back in touch with
yourself.
You're learning to share yourstory and get vulnerable without
the use of all that stuff.
So it's been super impactful.
Man, we've we've ran um eightprograms Now.
We've had 44 operators comethrough and, uh, we've got two
(56:07):
more scheduled for this year andthen hopefully next year we'll
be able to run four and thenjust continue to keep growing.
The capacity is growing, theteam is growing and I think it's
really starting to get outthere, man, the word of mouth is
really spreading and we've madeimpacts outside of the programs
as well.
It's not just that, becauseit's like what we're talking
about here.
You know we've made impactsoutside of the programs as well.
(56:28):
It's not just that, becauseit's like what we're talking
about here.
It's like the collectivehealing happens even outside of
of these programs.
You know, people are sharingwhat's working for them and and
it's starting to cause a chainreaction which is absolutely
amazing.
And I know that there's so manyother nonprofits out there
doing amazing work and we'reactually partnering with a few,
(56:52):
which one?
Um, you know, at soft week wereally solidified a partnership
with the special forcesfoundation.
So they're going to help bringout.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
I was just about to plug them in.
Speaker 3 (57:01):
Yeah, it's super cool because, um, like they're going
to help and bring out um, greenberets to each each program, is
green berets to each eachprogram.
I was like green berets andRangers have been our, our
biggest clients so far, which isa.
You know, it's a.
It's a good thing and in a, I'mnot going to say a bad thing,
(57:21):
but I've only had three Raiderscome through.
And I was bummed about itbecause I'm like, dude, our
Marines still this stubborn.
How do we break that?
How do we get through to thoseguys?
And we've had a number of otherguys, NSW guys, AFSOC.
So we are working together toto help, because not one can do
(57:44):
it all.
And if one tries to say thatthey can and they're doing it
themselves, like that, that'sgreat If you've got the capacity
to help, but I know for a damnfact there's wait lists
everywhere.
Yes, and if we can all worktogether and be like, hey, I'm
(58:05):
full, Can you go here?
Like, or if they've got, youknow, the capacity to send a
referral here, then it's justawesome.
It's just like in the militaryman, when we were like, uh,
Marsoc unit out out in Jordan,we had a green beret team come
in like hey, we don't knowanything about VBSS, Can you
teach us?
Let's partner together andlet's learn how to do this Like
(58:26):
yes, let's fucking do that,Because that's how, that's how
this shit happens is.
It's causes that chain reaction.
We work together, we grow as acommunity and that collective
healing is going to fucking endthe stigma to where.
You know, mental health is nota bad thing.
It's not going to make you lessof a warrior.
It's not going to make you lessof a fighter, Like I've been in
(58:47):
a testament to that, Like I cango meditate, I can, you know,
take care of myself.
Do all this breath work, comehome, be a loving husband and a
loving father, and then I canget in, step into a ring and I
can beat somebody up.
Speaker 2 (59:02):
Truth is in the pudding.
Speaker 3 (59:04):
Yeah, and then, like what I've told, like our active
duty guys that come through islike if you can learn how to, if
you can learn these superpowersnow and learn how to kind of
control your emotions and takecare of yourself, like you're
going to be that much more clearand level headed on the
battlefield.
You take that time that youneed to come back, rest and
reset.
Like we understand that there'sgoing to be times when we kind
(59:28):
of have ebbs and flows.
It's normal human emotions.
Like you look at the St, weunderstand that there's going to
be times when we have ebbs andflows.
It's normal human emotions.
You look at the Stoics and theytalk about that stuff.
They've literally taken thetime to write things down and to
meditate on this shit.
They're like, dude, I need asecond.
I have to shake this trauma offof the fucking battle and then
I'm going to be right back in.
You don't need to bench me, youdon't need to remove me from a
(59:49):
team.
Give me a couple days and I'llfucking be back and I'll be
ready to whip it on.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Absolutely, man.
That's the whole thing to teachguys.
It's like you can take a knee,process something, move forward
and get back in the fight.
It doesn't have to end yourcareer, it doesn't have to end
your service.
You do have to address it, likeat one point or another it's
going to rear its ugly head.
You can either face it andfight it head on right now or
(01:00:15):
take the path that many of ushave gone through and deal with
it when we absolutely destroyand wreck our lives.
Don't recommend it.
Zero out of five stars.
Please take care of yourselvesnow, nick.
I can't thank you enough, man,once again, if people want to be
able to take advantage of yourprograms, how can we get ahold
of you?
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Yeah, so best way to do that is go to our website,
wwwtalensreachfoundationorg.
You can click up thereApplications whatever the tab is
, find the application section.
There's one to volunteer andthen there's one for um, the
Eagle applications, so all ofthe participants.
(01:00:55):
We call them Eagles, um, as perthe special operations.
So, um, yeah, you can go there.
You can learn more on thewebsite.
You can also follow us onInstagram, facebook, linkedin,
um site.
You can also follow us onInstagram, facebook, linkedin.
We've got amazing social mediacontent and stuff that gets
pushed out on a weekly basis.
(01:01:16):
So if you want to learn moreabout just education around all
of these different stuff or getplugged in that way, you can
always message us there.
You can email me directly.
It's just nick attalonsreachfoundationorg.
You can email me directly.
It's just nick attalentsreachfoundationorg.
You can email our info,whatever it is.
Please don't be afraid to reachout.
I'm there, our team is there.
(01:01:39):
So you know we're ready,willing and able to help out and
hopefully we'll have some moreguys come out.
Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Heck, yeah, you heard right there.
Folks, do me a favor, go aheadand pause this episode.
Head on over to the episodedescription, whether on YouTube
or Spotify, and click on thoselinks and get connected with
Nick and his team at TalentStreet Foundation today.
And one more thing I want youto understand and take this away
from today's conversation, ifnothing else that you can dream
of doing big things that impactyour community, our veteran
(01:02:08):
community.
You can put it out on paper,you can look at it and, even if
it seems impossible, you can dothis.
All it takes is a little bit ofdedication, some courage and
being willing to go back intothe unknown.
I'm telling you, it's not goingto be easy and even as Nick
talked about it, he didn't havea way forward.
He didn't know intimately howto do it.
He just knew that he was goingto actually go out there and do
(01:02:29):
it.
And oftentimes that's all youneed.
Just need to be stubborn andyou need to be able to visualize
just one step forward, not two,not three.
Just one Form the LLC.
Go, take that class on how tostart a business.
Do whatever you need to tostart moving forward in your
dream.
You don't have to figure outthe whole thing.
Hell, I'm not figuring out thewhole thing and I've just
launched another podcast.
That's right.
Here's a shameless plug for theasset mindset brought to you by
(01:02:52):
and wait for it, media guy willput it in there Security halt
media.
I don't know what the fuck I'mdoing and I'm still doing it,
folks.
Thank you for tuning in.
It's been a pleasure, nick.
I cannot wait to have you backon to share more about your
awesome foundation.
And again, if you're a softservice member or enabler and
you need help, reach out toTalentsReach today.
I'm Danny Caballero.
(01:03:13):
It's been a pleasure having youtoday and we'll see you all
next time.
Until then, take care.
Thanks for tuning in and don'tforget to like, follow, share,
subscribe and review us on yourfavorite podcast platform.
If you want to support us, headon over to buymeacoffeecom
forward slash SecHawk podcastand buy us a coffee.
Connect with us on Instagram Xor TikTok and share your
(01:03:36):
thoughts or questions abouttoday's episode.
You can also visitsecurityhawkcom for exclusive
content, resources and updates.
And remember we get throughthis together.
If you're still listening, theepisode's over.
Yeah, there's no more Tune intomorrow or next week.
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