Kindergarten Cop: Movie Summary Pt. 1

Joe, Aaron, & Chris head for class so they're not tardy for Arnold's 1990 comedy classic, Kindergarten Cop!

The boys kick off the movie summary by welcoming special guest Dave Callans(@sharkodile on IG), who helps them make their way through the movie while discussing being a substitute teacher, the crazy things kids say, & the Kindergarten Cop/Goonies connection!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tape Deck Media.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello, mister listeners, and welcome to another episode of See
You at the Potty Richta. I am one of your hosts,
Joseph Beck Castro, and joining me as always is Christopher Chapman, Hello, class,
and Aaron Frescus Hello. Yes, very good, very good. Today
we're gonna be covering Arnold's nineteen ninety family comedy classic

(00:39):
vehicle Kitty Garden Cop or if you're a fancy kindergarten
cop type of person that says like pajamas or whatever.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
The original Austrian.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, either way, and we're gonna be doing the summary,
you know, some trivia, all that jazz, you guys know,
the drill. But before we get into that, we have
a special guest. He is a comedian and subs to
teacher out of San Diego, Dave Kellen's.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
I hope this goes into like the bonus features for
the episode, like the outtakes.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, we'd need a whole other editor for.

Speaker 5 (01:11):
That, so yes, I don't know. For the people.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
For the mistener listeners, this is our seventeenth take of
trying to get this one right.

Speaker 5 (01:17):
Yeah, I keep forgetting record. Anyways, Thank you for joining us, Dave, thanks, Hey,
glad to be here.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I want to ask you a bunch of questions.

Speaker 5 (01:30):
I want to have them answered immediately. You have some
questions for him, right, I.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Do have some questions. Have you seen the movie Kindergarten Cop.

Speaker 5 (01:39):
Before Garden Cop? Is that? Is that a foreign movie? Yes?
It is based out you mean Kindergarten Cop. Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Yeah, yeah, okay, kiddy, Yeah, I'm used to the informal Yeah. No,
I uh, I'd seen parts of it a lot because
I worked as at a movie theater when it was released,
and so on break we'ld just go into theaters and
watch pieces of movie. So I've never seen it in
its entirety, but I've seen enough of it to understand it.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Nice. Nice.

Speaker 5 (02:05):
We should not talk about anything related to movies past
that and working.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Well, yeah, is that the chin that subject?

Speaker 5 (02:12):
We got a season to exist.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Do you have a favorite Schwarzenegger movie?

Speaker 4 (02:19):
Predators up there? It's such a good movie, Like overall,
it's just a great movie in general, So it's one
of his best for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Do you have a least favorite or one that you
kind of disliked or hated when he saw it?

Speaker 4 (02:32):
I mean, he's got a lot of stinkers.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Tell me about something that has become glaringly apparent the
longer we do this podcast.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go deep cut on this one.
It wasn't that it was a bad movie, just so underwhelming,
raw deal, because that was when he was like peak
action star and it was just such a nothing of
a movie, like who cares?

Speaker 3 (02:53):
It was just weirdly boring like this. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Now on the flip side, I think I'm one of
the few people that actually liked The End of Days.
Really liked that one, and I know that gets a
lot of flak.

Speaker 5 (03:02):
The first time I saw it was when we did
this podcast, and I was like, man, this movie is fun.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. Gabriel Byrne
is like one of the best satans in film. Yeah, yeah,
that movie is. He was so good.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
We had a guest for that one, my friend Rob,
and he really wanted to be on that episode because
he loved that movie.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
That was his favorite Arnold movie.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
Wow, would you say Predator is his best one?

Speaker 4 (03:25):
It might be like I still love Conant. I'm a
huge Conan stand that's a fan movie.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
That was that was one that we, like, none of
us had watched before this.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
These two fucking hated Cony.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah, like just it was just I mean I saw
it when I was eight years old, so it was
awesome as an eight year old.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
Now I love it ever since. But the second one sucked.
The Tona the Destroyer was terrible.

Speaker 5 (03:47):
Yeah, looking forward to that one.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Well, that leads us into our last question. Uh, I
think you just answered this, But what's your first Arnold
movie or like earliest memory of I think Conan.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
I think that was that was it is what you
was that nineteen eighty Yeah, yeah, so I'd have been
eight years old when I saw that. My dad I
went to see like Aaron, you know, I love movies. Yeah, guy,
And so sometimes friends with kids will ask me like, hey,
is this appropriate for us?

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Songs a year old?

Speaker 4 (04:14):
And I'm like, my parents took me to Alien when
I was seven, in Animal House when I was six.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
I don't know, well that, I mean that makes sense
as far as Conan, because like anything before that would
have been uh what like the Villain and uh there
was Hercules in New York, which was rat of New York,
but like uh, and then there was one more stay Hungry,
but I think that was I know, we want to
I think we want a golden globe for that. But
that's also a sway smaller film, so like that was

(04:41):
his first big one, so that makes sense, that's his breakout. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also remembered that I'm pretty sure that This Kindergarten
Cop was one of the first movies I saw in
the theater. Wow, yeah, like this or Little Mermaid, which
I think came out before, Yeah, because it was I
think that was eighty nine, eighty nine. Yeah, so I
think that was might have been the first one. But
I I swear I'd have to ask my mom, but

(05:03):
I swear I watched this in the theater, which, again,
like what Erica is always like, this is not age
appropriate for the kids, because I watched termin or two
in the theater and I was what ten, like not
even ten?

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Eight?

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, like eight or nine, depending on when you went.
You're just yeah.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
So she's like that that is not age I'm like, yeah,
we have kids, Uh it is. It's totally fine. I
gotta sneak them in there. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
I saw in the theater.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
They're resilient, yeah, and we're doing all right, yeah, yeah,
we're all adjusted.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
So that's all the questions we have. How about we
turn it over.

Speaker 5 (05:36):
To Chris good pod, see you guys. Oh there's more. Yeah, sorry,
you're for the long haul, baby. Okay, we're gonna do
like forty seven.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
We're like standing kubrick a podcast.

Speaker 5 (05:45):
Just take we all for six hours. You guys are
killing me.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
You wanted to be on.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
But Anywow, We're gonna turn it over to Chris to
go through the Submary movie and we're gonna talk about
it and try and make jokes.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yes, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
See how they land.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
Skid pitch Man. How have we not thought of that before?
That's crazy? Anyway, So this movie, we begin with the
familiar site of the Universal logo or if you like
me and you're rented it from Amazon, you saw five
versions of the universal logo, and the movie opens in
one of America's many thriving shopping malls. Arnold is seen

(06:28):
shadowing a ponytail in an ugly suit. Just My first
thought as soon as I saw Arnold in this movie was,
oh God, it's the end of Day's Arnold. Please don't
let them near the children.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
I like the little sound effect they used to like
underline all the names and the credits, like yeah, like
the chalkboards, yeah, which I never noticed that. It was
like a writing on a chalkboard noise, which is dumb
because like the underline effect, like the like the effect
font or whatever. It is definitely chalk font. So do
schools even have chalkboards anymore?

Speaker 3 (06:56):
It's all whiteboards.

Speaker 5 (06:57):
It was nineteen ninety though, you gotta think back to then. No.
I I was just curious, like I'm like, I feel
like that's yeah, no, it's all yeah, it's all white boards.
Is this LA?

Speaker 3 (07:05):
I'd never figured out where the great question the original
part was set.

Speaker 5 (07:09):
I think so, yes, Okay, it does LA.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Because Crisp Colon. Crisp is wearing like LA County jumpsuit.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh yeah, when he's oh yeah yeah, when he goes
to jail, Yeah, gotcha. I was gonna say. The only
other question I had about this scene is as Crisp
is walking through the mall and Arnold's tailing him, he's
smoking a cigarette. There's no way smoking was allowed in
the mall at this time.

Speaker 5 (07:32):
Right nineteen ninety. Absolutely, one hundred percent. Yeah, really yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
I worked after the movie theater I worked at Tji
Friday was my first restaurant job in ninety one, and
until like mid to late nineties, we still had a
smoking section in the restaurant.

Speaker 5 (07:48):
But you could just do it in the mall too.
I was gonna say, like, killing is not like murdering
people isn't allowed in the mall either, but he like
obviously doesn't give as Colin Crisp is played by it's
Richard Tyson by the way.

Speaker 4 (07:59):
Okay, I was gonna to say that. Now as far
as the opening, it starts like really dramatic and like
those sinister music and you've got like terminator style of
shortsank that you're like they're setting you up like, and
then all of a sudden the titles come on. It's
like childish writing and color, like yeah, wait a second,
what's going on here? Like this is I don't know,
it's just a weird contrast of like we're the ultra

(08:20):
serious in action, but no, we're silly.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, it has been so long since I've seen this movie.
I completely forgot that they actually played it very like
all the crime stuff very straight at the beginning. Yeah,
I thought it was like comedy from beginning to end.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
But the bad guy. He was the bully in Three
o'clock High. Yes, if you ever saw that movie.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Yes he was, which I love that movie. It's a
great movie.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
I don't want to call him a bully though, because
like he was, uh, he was just a misunderstood like
he had his thing and people kept pushing his buttons
knock him out. Yeah, so he wasn't actually a bad
guy until I mean at the end he pull up
brass knuckles, but he didn't get use him. So like
he wasn't really a villain. But he's clearly been typecast. Yeah, Okay,
he's he's threatening, he's imposing. Let's just keep using for this.

Speaker 5 (09:01):
Didn't you like, I mean get this is all like
rumor stuff. It's talking about Three o'clock High, But did
he like beat up someone like that, like the principal
of his old school or something like that, or like
murder like anyway, Yeah, it's.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
Just well he was if you remember his his whole
thing was like he was he didn't like to be touched.
If he touched him, yeah, he just like kind of
blacked out and punched you. And so all right, boundaries,
you know, let's just establishing boundaries. We're good to go.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
There you go. He was just ahead of his time.

Speaker 5 (09:24):
It's a good high school, Yeah it is. It's a
lot of fun. Also, yeah, like Chris had that mall
is packed and Arnold ends up losing Chras. Yeah, Arnold,
he ends up losing Crisp when he's following him. And if,
like I feel like that scene happened today, it just
would have been, like Crisp Arnold, like half a dozen
teenagers who came there, still, they would miss.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
On those footsteps that going exactly.

Speaker 5 (09:45):
Just he just got hot topic open and that's pretty
much it, right, Yeah, pretty much. Also, he lost him
in a mall, but in a part that looked like
an alley inside the mall.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Mall.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, they go like in the behind the scenes section, but.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
Yeah, I mean as a teenager, I su it's not
what it looks like.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
Really, I've never been back there. Speaking of, we go
to some storage room in the mall and we meet
Danny and he's definitely not a meth head girlfriend.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
And finally Danny.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
We find out Danny has info about somebody's wife who
ran away with a kid in three million dollars, and
Danny intends to get paid for the info. We see
the Ponytail slip into the employee section of the mall,
and Arnold follows him in a few minutes later. That's
what I'm calling. Yeah, until he gets a name, that's what.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
I'm gonna call. We already gave him a name. He's
just being blatantly disrespect for him.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
But I don't like his ponytail. So Ponytail who we
find out his name? Mister Crisp meets with Danny and
demands to know where his family is. Danny, being a
shrewd negotiator, lays out his terms, a whopping seven hundred
and fifty dollars and even better, zero gunshot wound.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
Now, wait, he started a million and immediately backpeld the
seven to fifty.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Well it was a thousand, but yeah, or whatever it was.
That was his fucking girlfriend talking.

Speaker 5 (11:07):
But he started high. It's like, I'm willing to negotiate,
I'll back off.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Yeah, he immediately backs off because.

Speaker 5 (11:11):
He started seven to fifty.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
No, no, no, no, he starts at a thousand, and he's
like seven to fifty would be fine. And then eventually Crisp.

Speaker 5 (11:19):
Was just like, was it really seven or fifty dollars.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
Yeah, yeah, that's seven hundred and fifty dollars.

Speaker 5 (11:23):
I heard him say the numbers. In my head, I
was just thinking thousand. That like like fifty thousand dollars back.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Then, Yeah back then, Sure, thanks Obama.

Speaker 5 (11:33):
I also like his joke when he's talking about how
he saw penelopean Miller's character stealing, like like the stealing
his money joke, like she looked like three million dollars.
It's like, dude, are you trying to get killed? Are
you trying to get killed?

Speaker 3 (11:45):
Exactly? Though he was going to fucking laugh at that.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:48):
See, now this is when I saw it in pieces.
I remember that he was a cop undercover, but I
forget that he was I knew he was on a mission,
but I forgot that it was like a murderous drug kingpin.
Like I'd forgotten this part of it, like the serious
part of it. So it's kind of like, oh, all right.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
Is he a drug kingpin?

Speaker 3 (12:04):
He's a drug guy?

Speaker 5 (12:05):
Okay, Like oh, I mean, just make a drug.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
They specifically call it out as drug man.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
Okay, okay, cool, Like I'm not playing attention to Perry anyway.
Uh did you finish that scene? So?

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Uh well just that. Uh. He negotiates and then eventually
just tells Crisp that his family is was last seen
at Astoria Elementary in Oregon.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
And we all recognize that, right the cool ast time
of a story wheregony has happened.

Speaker 5 (12:30):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
A fucking happening place right there. Yeah, all this cool
stuff happened in Astoria.

Speaker 5 (12:36):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, there's buried treasure under their feet in this.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
Whole A lot of criminal activity up in Astoria in Oregon,
which is do you see Oregon?

Speaker 3 (12:44):
That's what he says, its.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
Organ Yeah, it's the only Oregon. When you're talking about
the video game Oregon.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Trail, it's people from the East Coast or other places,
that's say Oregon. And it's like, have you've ever seen
sense of van Anarchy? Uh, Charlie Coleham or where his
name is? Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah, he plays like the main.

Speaker 5 (13:08):
I don't know, I barely know him. He plays the.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Main guy, and he plays like such a good like
California dude. But until says Oory Gone, like dude, you're blowing.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
He just blew your coverment. That's that's not too bad
because he's he's like super British. So yeah, he's like
super British.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
He's very He give me.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
A break, he says, there's me drugs. So you know
how they're they're with they're rebooting everything from that era.
I feel like someone should do a Goony's Kindergarten top crossover.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Ye, not bad, that'd be fun, all right.

Speaker 5 (13:44):
Arnold can arrest, he can, he can fight Sloth.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Arnold just.

Speaker 5 (13:52):
Like, instead of Sloth, it's just John Kimball that they
find locked up John John. It's probably it's always Johnny.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
So so, in response, Crisp gives Danny a counteroffer of
exactly two gunshot wounds and no money, which Danny promptly accepts.
Arnold is drawn to the scene by Danny's girlfriend nagging
him to death, but Crisp has already made his escape,
so Arnold kind cuts the two love birds together and
goes looking for If it.

Speaker 5 (14:22):
Wasn't tillared towards women before, it definitely isn't. That's this
is the best I've ever heard. Yeah, is wrong? Wrong?

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Yeah? I mean, come on, that's I'm just telling you
what myself.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
I'll I'll also in this last watch, I realized Arnold
should do a lot of like the dickhead cop kind
of things, like handcuffing the girl to the body.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, oh,
this is why body Kim's are like are a thing
now like kind of stuff in this Like there's.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
So much stuff to where I'm like, dude, you cannot
do that.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah, I mean, the.

Speaker 5 (15:03):
Nineties were a good time for being a white cup.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Here we cut to the salon where Crisp sits down
to tell his mother that he's found his family, but
is rudely interrupted by Arnold arresting him, revealing himself to
be Detective John Kimball. And this is the part where
we get the famous I'm Gonna copy with you, and
we also see like the most intense small security forces.

Speaker 5 (15:27):
Oh my god. Yeah, they all had guns, big guns.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yeah. And then a fourth guy shows up from the
back door already. Yeah yeah, they all had guns. They
all had Although kudos to.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
This movie because this was still an era when you
could get cheap lass off gay jokes, so they could
have done a lot of gay jokes about him accepting
a pedicure. Yeah, and they didn't very progressive.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
That is true.

Speaker 5 (15:52):
Arnold's mom is played by or sorry, Arnold's mom, Crisp. Yeah, yeah,
Ma Collin by Carol Baker, who is also in the
game Michael Douglas's housekeeper in the movie The Game Great.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
I thought I thought you meant the video game adaptation.

Speaker 5 (16:09):
What I thought you meant the game like the thing
like you lost the game? Oh no, no, she was.
She was in the movie The Game with she was
Michael Douglas's housekeeper.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
But yeah, great movie, Yes, awesome movie. Also happened in
a story organ.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
It's weird because I live in San Francisco. Looked very
much like here, and I've been to a Storia.

Speaker 5 (16:30):
Now that little Frisco in Astoria.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
You just haven't been to the little Back at the
police station, Danny's girlfriend Cindy is interro is interrogated by
Detective Phoebe O'Hara, but refuses to cooperate, creating some tension
between Arnold and o'h.

Speaker 5 (16:52):
Arnld's partner, O'Hara's Pamela Reid played by Pamela not partner yet,
Oh sorry O'Hara's case.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Yes, Now, there's a weird moment in here. I don't
know if if Aaron, if you guys notice this, but
like there's because this is a generally a comical movie,
even for the serious crime stuff. It's firely fairly comic moan.
They don't like weird zooms and high angles and like
kind of silly stuff. There's moment the interrogation when the
girlfriend's trying to walk out and the woman's like sit
back down, and at the same time, Arnold's trying to

(17:21):
walk out because he's mad about the chick busting up
his case, and the guy's like sit back down. It's
like this parallel of like, yeah, they're both getting yelled
at and you go sit back down. And I feel
like like Ivan Wrightman just like had some shred of
filmmaker be like I'm gonna do a weird artistic scene
here where there's gonna be like this bizarre parallel.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yeah, because I didn't really understand why he did it.

Speaker 5 (17:41):
I like that joke.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, it's fine, Like I don't understand the parallel between
him and it was just weird.

Speaker 5 (17:47):
Oh yeah, gotcha, that's all I was thinking about it,
very simple. I'm like, it's funny, it's fine.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Uh. So Arnold decides he's going to force the girl
to talk so he heads downtown. After completing his legal
obligation to threaten minorities with violence, he heads up to
a party where I believe the theme is chain link. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (18:11):
The Wikipedia called it a club, and I'm like, that's.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
Yeah, abandoned.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Yeah, it looks like it looked like the back of
the mall, honestly, Yeah, after hours.

Speaker 5 (18:23):
Of the mall where you throw the trill, and it's
where the dumpsters are, Like I was, I was surprised
the guy's body wasn't still laying there. Arnold immediately assaults
to guys standing outside of the quote unquote club when
he arrives. Uh huh, Like he said, which one of
the actors I've dubbed because he's been in other movies
we've done nineteen nineties Petropiscal, which is if you you

(18:46):
recognized me, if you see him anyway.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (18:48):
Also like the hey baby, her boyfriend or whoever being like,
what do you mean baby? Hey baby?

Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:54):
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Hey baby?

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Also, this really goes back to Aaron's previous comment about
they're they're really going hard with a loose, loose, loose
cannon top angle here. Yes, He's like, I'm just gonna
flash my shotgun of these people and bust.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
My way in this club and doesn't get suspended or anything.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah. He ends the party with a few well placed
shotgun blasts and uh corners Cindy and I don't know.
I got like, I'm glad the scene ended the way
it did, because I thought it was going to go
in a more uncomfortable direction.

Speaker 5 (19:26):
Uh So, cutting away as Arnold's like planning cocaine on anybody,
that's just like.

Speaker 6 (19:33):
That cocaine.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
That's so I wouldn't. It's gotta be.

Speaker 5 (19:40):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
So uh so, he corners Cindy to let her know
that until she cooperates, he is going to be her
new best friend.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
When I started watching this earlier today, I I was like,
what is this? Rted PG thirteen Okay, PG thirteen is
allowed one F bomb. So I googled it. I found
the script. I searched for the word fuck. I had
to put subtitles on this. When he busted into the club,
uh he the door guy wouldn't let him, so he
kicks the cage open and knocks the guy out. Then
it cuts to a black dude standing there who says,
what the fuck? But you can barely hear it over

(20:09):
the music I put subtitles on. So they wasted their
fuck right there. You could have had a child, maybe
it's a fucking tumor you know, something like that.

Speaker 5 (20:21):
You could have really used that.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
Or remember, we're going to get to the twin girls
when they're saying, what do your parents do?

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (20:28):
Mom says her dad is a real She could have said,
Mom says our dad bucks. You really could have done
so much more with your one f bom rather than
bury it under some music in a throwaway scene. I
just feel like that was a wasted opportunity.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Get Ivan Raymond on the phone.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
So we cut to a police lineup as Cindy has
suddenly decided to be very cooperative. She fingers Crisp as
the guy who shut.

Speaker 5 (20:56):
Oh settled down.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, hey, movie with kids.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
In Jesus not yet.

Speaker 5 (21:04):
I absolutely just adore the wardrobe of that police lineup.
It is like so extremely like late I took a
picture of it because they kept going like I had
to take a picture of my TV like late eighties,
early nineties, like if the usual Suspects took place inside
like a Mervin's or something like that, so or a
Miller outposts. I was trying to look up old stores.

(21:24):
I was like, wait, what's an old story that doesn't
exist in Miller outposts mervins. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
No, that's that's a great note because this movie all
that was nineteen ninety. This movie is like the death
throes of the eighties, like like the eighties are refusing
to go on, like we're cramming it all in here,
We're not going away.

Speaker 5 (21:41):
This is a great like speaking of that, it's a
great transition for like his movies as far as going
from the eighties, cause I think right before this was
Total Recall. Yeah, and then the next one is Terminator
two because that is very nineties.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, nineties as fuck.

Speaker 5 (21:56):
But like this is a nice transition between the two
because in Total Talk is so aries with the breast shot,
like that's such an eightiest thing. Oh yeah, and they
like upped it by adding an extra print too, Like
in this movie, this movie is is so eighties.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
I kind of thought, like towards the end, when the
fire alarm's going off, you almost expect Pelopean Miller to
be wearing a white shirt when the sprinklers are going off.
You know, that's the kind of eighties you're expecting.

Speaker 5 (22:22):
Here. To their credit, they didn't do it, but you
know that's well they couldn't.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
They already wasted their fuck. Yeah, it was either yeah,
let's see we uh. We immediately see Crisp being taken
into custody after his arraignment, whispering to his mother to
take care of something before.

Speaker 5 (22:39):
Where did he earn your respect? Because you're calming Crisp?

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Now, well, I just I like to make up nicknames
until they get a name in the movie, and then
because the nicknames will rapidly get really really clumsy, where
I'm sticking like four nicknames in a sentence and nobody
knows who the fuck I'm talking about. Let's see. So
oh yeah, Arnold Inner accepts Crisp to perform some light

(23:02):
police brutality and then get roasted about his lack of
a personal life. Arnold attempts to avoid any possible bonding
between himself and the gluttonous O'Hara before being informed that
the two of them are being sent to Astoria to
find Crisp's missing wife and bring.

Speaker 5 (23:20):
Her a second he works alone. Also, is this just
where you can work? Is that a thing where you
can send local police to a completely different city to
work undercover. Like I hey, you can do anything in eighties. Okay,
I was gonna say, you see him flash a shotgun
of people.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah, that's true. Likes, if it's a big enough investigation,
like if a CRISP is a big enough like drug guy.

Speaker 5 (23:45):
Drug That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
Yeah, then they're probably allowed to do all sorts of stuff.

Speaker 5 (23:49):
I was like, at first, I was like sure of it.
I'm like, there's no way they would do that. Then
I was like, oh yeah, most of my knowledge of
like the police force comes from like Reino nine one one,
so I just got nothing. Although like it might be
off the books because they never actually I mean you
never see it the books. Yeah, yeah, are you I'm
the police guy now, because you've never seen him contacting

(24:13):
a story of police, So you know, you've just seeing
black ops pretty soon.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Another note, this is the rare time he actually says
where he's from in a movie. He says he's from Austria.
Oh yeah, he speaks German. Yeah, never does in movies,
so never does.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (24:27):
Yeah, they could have played with that to be like
I'm from Australia.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
Crikey, so Arnold wants to work. Arnold would rather work alone,
but O'Hara is necessary as somebody needs to go undercover
at the school as a kindergarten teacher to find Crisp's kid,
a job that Arnold is clearly not suited for. On
the plane, the pair go over the case as Arnold
struggles not to murder the kids sitting by.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Super relatable though that's the realest part of this movie
so far.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
I think one of my favorite things in this whole
movie is the look on his face when his seat
gets kicked, like like struggling so hard not to rip
the seat out and throw it at these children.

Speaker 5 (25:10):
Yeah, it's a method acting right there.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yeah, I feel like Evan Rightman kept him up for
two and a half days and didn't tell him to
the kids sitting behind him, just to get that more
visceral reaction.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
And then just gave the kids a bunch of sugar
and shit and told them as possible.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
So also, I love I don't know if this is
the right scene or not, but you have to imagine
that pre nine eleven, you probably could sneak a ferret
onto an airport.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
That's that's true that that was a big thought that
I have, and especially since you're not allowed to have
him in California.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah, I didn't even think about that.

Speaker 5 (25:46):
Yeah, oh yeah, he ain't gonna check that. So he's
like maybe maybe he just like flashes batch, I'm a
copy of idiot and then just like he's like, it's
a fair.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
Under the seed, like it was like in his pocket
or something. It's like just going through X ray with
a fucking ferrot in your suit.

Speaker 5 (26:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
Still Ferret's got a tumor. Now.

Speaker 5 (26:11):
He also saw Angela Bassett there as a flight attendant.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't until like that, I think.

Speaker 5 (26:18):
I think Erica looked it up and she was like,
this was like before Boys in the Hood, but after No,
after don't look at Arnold, He's not gonna help you.
I was like, I don't know, it was like right
before Boys in the Hood, but after something else you
did she did that was that was bigger anyway. Anyway.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Okay, so here O'Hara gets horribly sick on the plane
and remains so as they drive to their motel in Astoria,
allowing us to see like a softer side of Arnold
as he takes care of her and reveals that he
has an estrange son to go along with his estranged wife.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, of course it's only one son, not allowed more
than one.

Speaker 5 (26:57):
Yeah, well they's told me got have a second child
or a Right, I'm making the call.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
Right.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
All the movies we've done, there's only one where Arnold
has more than one kid, and that's because it's part
of the plot, which is Maggie. But literally, if he
has kids in any other movie, it's just one.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
So yeah, this is now, this is the essence of
the movie. Yes, she gets sick, he's got to step
up and take her place. Yeah, Which it's such a
silly premise, but it's like it's the same energy as well.
There's not a rule that says dogs can't play football,
but like, I don't know it just okay, I guess

(27:37):
they could do that. I guess they wouldn't wait a day,
they would just send him in.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yep.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
That uh, that fair doesn't have a name, right, No,
I don't think so calls it the fair. At least
I didn't catch it. Yeah, I'm gonna get to that later.
Like it's it's just a shame because all does great
and naming animals like right, I mean he just names
him after his movies. But okay, yeah, I also got
what he said in German in the or Oh yeah.

(28:02):
What he was saying in German was something like, uh,
that that's me. That's pissed me off. I'm pissed off now.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
That's pretty much. That's all. That's what he was saying
as he as he carries her into the motel. Yeah,
she's too sick.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
Nice Okay, Tangent, I'm completely unrelated. In high school. When
I went high school, you could take Spanish, German, or French.
I took Spanish like most peelics. It was easy, but
I had a couple of friends take German, and I said, listen,
I need you to teach me one phrase because I
feel it'll help me out in any situation where I
have to speak German. So I asked him to teach
me how to say I'm an asshole.

Speaker 5 (28:35):
That's all. I'm not to say German. I'm like, any
situation that'll cover me.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
You completely diffuse any situation.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
So, yeah, he's.

Speaker 5 (28:43):
Been on our schlock. There we go, There you go.
If you ever meet Arnold, say that to him. I mean,
you're insulting him, Right, you're insulting yourself telling me, yeah,
hey man, I'm an asshole, a big fan, and then
say that.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
All right. So the next day O'Hara is still too sick,
so Arnold cleans himself up to take her place as
a substitute kindergarten teacher. I thought the gun joke was
pretty funny, where she tells him to take off a
gun and then he's.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
He's like, I don't know, he said something about how
they're gonna be tough to deal with.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
Yeah, he was like, he was like, their kids, how
bad could they be? Like, on second top and second thought,
take the gun. I just thought that was a good gun.

Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah, in the light of the recent school shootings, doesn't
play as well.

Speaker 5 (29:28):
Yeah, for the time, I was good. All right.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
So as Arnold waits to see the principal of the school,
he overhears a hot teacher defending an absolute psychopath of
a child.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
Yeah, okay, right here, yes.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Okay, if you listen to the conversation, Yes, she's talking
to a little kid who punched another little girl. So
it's a little boy who punched another little girl, because
at some point in the conversation she goes, I know
she poisoned your hand, but you shouldn't punch people. And
I was like, poisoned his hamsters like plural, lady girl, yes,

(30:10):
hampster here the plural.

Speaker 5 (30:12):
It doesn't matter because that doesn't mean we have a
child sociopath here. Yes, for sure, this is an entire
other movie. Yeah, it's like the Good Sign happening like
next Uh yeah, it was like Jesus Christ Jenny, like,
holy shit, did you ever have a kid where you're like, uh, yeah,

(30:33):
this kid is.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
Yeah, this is a problem.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
Look, I know she puts her cat in the microwave
on high for two minutes, but you should not have
called her name. Okay, yeah that They just glossed over
that so quick.

Speaker 5 (30:45):
Yeah it was just wild, all right.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
So Arnold meets Mishlowski, a small but formidable woman he
doesn't like the idea of having an active investigation running
in her school, and who won't take any crap from Arnold.
It's about having teaching experience before being introduced to his
kindergarten class, including Lowell, the most morbid six year old
you've ever met.

Speaker 5 (31:08):
Lowell is my soulmate. He's my loll mate. Aid that
like this as a substitute teacher. They got kids so
fucking right, yes in this movie, Like this is exactly
how it's insane.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
How right they got these kids, Like just you have
the morbid, the one we're all gonna die.

Speaker 5 (31:30):
Okay, yeah, cool, let's move on. Like I've taught all
the grades, middle schools are fucking terrorists, but the little ones,
the kindergarten, preschoolers, they're a fucking force of nature. Oh,
they're just chaos. I was actually gonna ask you what
you prefer, like as far as the grade.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
I prefer high school because they're kind of assholes too,
but they have work to do and they know they
have to do it, so they'll leave you alone do
the work. Middle School is where they first start to
understand that they can rebel and fuck off and disobey.
So they're the absolute worst little kids. Oh, these little ones,
they're like they're okay, they're hard to manage. But I
don't do preschool anymore because every single time I do

(32:10):
a preschool I get sick.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Oh wow, is it just.

Speaker 5 (32:13):
Like every single time that just happens. What grade does
it become like not babysitting basically?

Speaker 4 (32:19):
Oh god, probably so you get up till like fifth
or six. Oh really yeah yeah. Preschool kindergarten is like ulterate.
There's like multiple teachers for all the kids, and it's
still tough.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
So I remember you, uh you kept posting when about
them making fun like different different grades too. I think
it was a different schools, was it. They were making
fun of you about a lorex thing. Okay, do you
have yellow hair? Yeah? Yeah, I get.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I get all the comments, Like Pikachu was the one
I got the most. They call me Pikachua school.

Speaker 5 (32:52):
It's just all all of them. Pikachu is elementary school. Okay,
a lot of elementary school Pikachu.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
And then when I did like a ten grade class,
they were all like doing worksheets and stuff. But like
this kid raised his hand. I'm like, hey, what's up.
He's like you ever see the movie Happy Feet? An
he kind of glass and I'm like, nah, what is that?
Because I couldn't think of it. Oh, it's about these penguins.
I was like, oh, the penguin the yellow hair, and
he starts. I'm like, yeah, I get that, I understand. Yeah,

(33:17):
cool refence, Like I give them credit that come with
a good reference. I haven't heard, but the Mara's one
was the best because I was walking between classes and
these two sixth grade girls they ran up to be giggling,
and they stopped and they said, do.

Speaker 5 (33:31):
You speak for the trees?

Speaker 4 (33:32):
And then they laughed around a lot, and I was like, Okay,
that's really good because didn't even say the name. You
just gave me the reference for it. That's that's kiss
right confusion. Yeah, but I got super saying I get
anything yellow kids will say.

Speaker 5 (33:46):
That to me, just like it was just funny how
often you had posted to her. It was like, man,
these kids are like, I mean, it's the same joke
over neighbor, Like was that that wasn't at the same school,
was it? So it was just like different all different schools. Okay,
so it's just like different kids having the same thought
to where it was like this is yeah nice. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
So Arnold tries to interrogate the kids, but quickly realizes
that they're morons. Then he panicks when confronted with children's overalls.
He goes and recruits hot teacher to help with the
overall situation, and then finds that in the two minutes.

Speaker 5 (34:18):
He was which by the way, that was a choice.
He passes a couple of doors. He stopped the her doors.
That's the one of us.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Yeah, he found that in the two minutes he was gone,
his class had gone full Lord of the flies.

Speaker 5 (34:31):
That happens that absolutely Yeah, if you turn your back
for a second.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Okay, so she's right, you can't, you can't.

Speaker 5 (34:37):
Oh my god, does it matter what grade? Yeah, second
and third they start to babe a little bit more.
But preschool, in kindergarten, even if you're watching them, it'll happen.
Like you gotta be on them all the time. That's
why there's like there's four or five adults with a
group that size for him to take these kids by himself. Jesus. Yeah,

(34:59):
wait has that always been? I'm trying to like, I
just remember one teacher Okay, so yeah, man, that sucks
for the like back like eighty nine. Holy shit. I
wonder if it was just the teachers being like, I
can't just basically I can't fucking do this anymore, Like
I need help with this.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
Depends on the fortitude of the teacher.

Speaker 5 (35:20):
And once this movie came up, they just like, see
see what happens. We need help. I also like, I
just wearing wearing overalls as a kid was the worst,
like just because oh yeah, because like I'm like too
dumb to unhook the buttons, so it would turn into uh,

(35:40):
pretty much an emergency every time I had to go
to the bathroom, like just like me trying to like
squeeze my wiener shut like like just yeah, like freaking out,
like just thinking, yeah, thankfully I don't do that.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
They never put me in overalls.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
I don't think it happened more than like once or twice,
because like just.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Took one soiled pair of pants and then so uh
so his class is going crazy. So after some scream
therapy and light child abandonment, he returns to the class
with his pet ferret.

Speaker 4 (36:15):
Wait real, before that though, when he did the when
they're all I forget what happened we perceived, but like
haa quiet.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Oh that was when he first came in and he
accidentally sits on the piano and everybody.

Speaker 5 (36:28):
Just goes, yeah, again, that's so real, dude, if we
make a mistake, they will let.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
You know, like you will get a nickname from them
so fast for doing something dumb. Like it's just yeah,
So that that felt really real to me. As a
subsiduent teacher.

Speaker 5 (36:42):
I realized this I was watching this that I side
with the kids a lot on the stuff that they
laugh at. I'm like, yeah, he sat on the piano.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
Totally, let's see. Okay. So he brings in the fair.

Speaker 5 (36:54):
So was this that the fair was? After he yelled
him and they started crying right yeah? Oh yeah? When
they yes, yeah, so they we're all going crazy and
he just yells screams at them.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
They all start to yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Again, to cry again, so real, like you can if
you are too much for them and they start crying,
that's what you're done, I forget it.

Speaker 5 (37:13):
And I love his his like when he's yelling shut up.
First his first one is like just shut up, and
then after that it's just desperate to where it's like
shut up, shut up, shut up. Yes, you can't think
of anything else to say except for shut up, just
like shut up.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
And then he brings in the ferret, which they all
kind of like. It pacifies the kids and they all
want to pet them. And I really love the horrified,
desperate look on his face as he goes good, now
we're having fun.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
As far as the kid's not paying attention, when he's
like pet them one at a time and within two
seconds there's like five hands up there. So yeah, okay,
I have very little control.

Speaker 5 (37:50):
The little kids line up, what happened to your dog?
That's a good one, and then like one of the
masks if it's gonna bite Arnold's or no, what wool?
He's like, uh, if he bites you, you'll get rabies
and die twitch. Arnold's responses, that's not true. He never bites,
which I'm like, come on, I neglect, like like addressed

(38:12):
as soon as as soon as they said it never bites.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
He's like pet it one at a time, and it
made him like why because it'll get free done bite somebody.

Speaker 5 (38:20):
He just never addresses a rabies thing.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Sure you know, I mean we learned later that he
does bite, so was wrong?

Speaker 5 (38:27):
True? Wow spoiler.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
So uh after class, Arnold gets roasted by one of
his kids, whose is okay make sure at the school.

Speaker 5 (38:39):
Yeah, that kid was great because that like I love that.
I've talked about this before, Aaron if I never seen
on me post about this. But like as far as
like I said, seventh grade is the worst as far
as they're just terrible people. But they are. They're horrible
that John Mulaney joke to where is he talks about

(39:01):
being afraid of thirteen year old Like he'll cross the
street from thirty because he's afraid of Like you're bring
thirteen year olds. But this age is the meanest because
they have no filter. They're so honest, this kid telling
him everyone's better than him.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
I have yeah. Yeah, Like I was.

Speaker 4 (39:16):
Teaching some second graders one time. I was helping this
kid of his math, which, by the way, it's so
hard for me to like dumb myself down to the
level down. I'm like this kid, I'm like, if.

Speaker 5 (39:26):
You can't do twelve divide too, I don't know how
to help you, Like, I don't know whatever it is,
what it is. But I go to stand up on
my knees cracked because I'm an adult. And this kid
he looks at me, He's like, why does your body
make noise when you move? It's just oh, just kill
me now, Like their honesty is just so unflinching.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
That's great, let's see. Oh yeah. So now, so he
gets roasted by the kid. Then he goes back to
the motel and just collapses.

Speaker 5 (39:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
The next day, Arnold is ogled by some of the
moms right, and then meets Sylvester's mom, who was an
interesting character. She would rather her son be a sex
past than play.

Speaker 5 (40:09):
With dolls yeah the eighties, which she like tries to
explain because her husband like, uh, left for another guy
and she's like a man. Yeah, and she's like afraid
that her son's going to be gay too, I think,
which I'm like, I'm not making an excuse for it.
I'm just saying, like she tries to explain it, like
my note was like, uh, like I taught him that, Yeah,

(40:32):
keep going. It was just like, wait, does Kathy Moriarty
word that her son is gay like his dad like,
which it seems like it or she just wants that's
that's She's like, Oh, I'm gonna be able to talk
to this uh, this hot new teacher.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
It kind of did seem like she was trying to just.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
Get in with a little bit also, so I feel
like lotwise it served as a little bit of a
red herring.

Speaker 5 (40:52):
Yeah for sure, that's like, Yeah, the mom, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
Yeah, that's the next part, because he tries to suss
out if she might be the former missus Crisp sense
she is without a husband and from outside Astoria.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
Also one of those thirsty moms was Susan from Seinfeld,
which Erica pointed out and are I didn't know that.
That's great Armeil kindergarten teachers uncommon, like like back then,
I think they were. Okay, is it not anymore? No, Okay,
that's yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
I think it's like back then, it's like a male nurse.
What It's just it was the eighties, you know, like, yeah,
there's jobs the girl Joe.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
Yeah, they say, is he must yeah, he must be good.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
Yeah, they literally said that that.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah. So during class, Arnold plays the classic game of
who is your daddy? And what does he do? To
try and find Chris Junior, but just gets a lot
of kids say the darndest things bs from the children.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
I feel like that's what that was is they just
had the kids say whatever and just feel it.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
It was like, we'll give half the kids joke.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
We'll give the writers the day off. Just have him
say something will be funnier than what we can't do.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Exactly.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
Yeah, I again, I it was sorry. I don't want
to like go into the thing, but uh, but some
of those are like kind of sad. Oh one got dark.
When the kid goes, he says, my dad doesn't do
anything since the crash. Yes, that's what I really God,
whoa anymore? It's dark like he doesn't there's no smiles,

(42:24):
like it's not like it was not played for last year.
I was just like, holy ship.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Like I was.

Speaker 5 (42:30):
Was he in a car crash? It was he's super
old and he was in like twenty nine like the
crashoys in the Hamsters cut his brakes.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
Exactly like a vegetables.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
There's some other Dirk in there for tell. Yeah, so yeah,
it was that one stood out for sure.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
This is where Arnold mentions he has a headache, and
we get the class we Lowell says it might be
a tumor, and we get the classic it's not a tumor.

Speaker 5 (43:00):
Okay, not just the best line of the movie, one
of the best lines of the nineties. Oh yeah, that's
just yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
So it's unbelievably classic.

Speaker 5 (43:08):
But I I've is not ada.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
I have seen it so often just as that clip
that I completely forgot the context and I fucking never changed. Lowell,
You're the perfect kid, Like that's so great. I have
a headache and immediately he's like, oh, it might be
a tumor.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
But another thing, just like a stupid old note like
everyone knows the line it's not a tumor, but.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Like yeah, he says.

Speaker 5 (43:33):
He's like, it's not a duma. It's not at all.

Speaker 4 (43:35):
Like he just like is logically defended, but like people
just remember the line. Yeah, Like he's trying to logically like, no,
this is something else, like know what I.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
Yeah, I don't have a tumor. Uh. So, Arnold notes
any kid whose dad is not in the picture, and
kind of narrows it down to three likely suspects, including Zach,
who is like a quiet and emotionally distant kid, and Dominic,
who is the roastmaster and son of a teacher.

Speaker 4 (44:02):
You know, if not for the presence of countless children,
this movie would be rife for porn parody.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
Just like milk. He's just like, let be fine. All
the single moms in this town.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yeah, this could be a completely different movie.

Speaker 5 (44:22):
No, no, you can't put those two.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
Don't do it.

Speaker 5 (44:25):
You just ended up on a watch list right now.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
I just want to point out some of the like
the the little girl who just completely rambles about her
dad and how much hair he has might be my
favorite kid in the whole movie. Like she just the
fucking she just ends the whole thing by being like
his head is so big he can't wear any he's
got a big head.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
I mean, but this is the scene too where I
was saying, like the two twins, they could have been
like yes, my mom says our dad, and that would
have got such a good life.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Okay, And then I had just one question, does anybody
know what the girl says in Spanish? I think I
caught most of it. I think it's my dad works
in the house and plays with me a lot.

Speaker 5 (45:13):
I missed that part. My Spanish is not very good.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
It's it's the house. Yeah, my dad works in the house.
Something contigo me. Sure, yeah, God, I just couldn't figure
it out. But yeah, uh so I just had And
the subtitles just said speaks in Spanish, so fuck you,
like you wouldn't get it. As Arnold tries to connect

(45:38):
a little with Zach, who fucking the entire class bullies,
a fire drill goes off and Arnold's class is the
last one out, earning him a special call out from
the principal.

Speaker 5 (45:49):
She's really on a shit list man. She doesn't take
any guff seriously.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
As the day ends, Arnold tries to talk to Zac's
mom as she picks him up, but she speeds off
and ignores his call. Arnold and the now recovered O'Hara
go downtown for some dinner, where they run into hot
teacher and her son Dominic. Yeah, we find out that
hot teacher's name is Joyce pal Merrick.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Now real quick, though partner played the fucking ace move
of not being the wife being the sister, she just
went right into wingman mode.

Speaker 5 (46:20):
Yeah, wingman right away.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
She knows she's We talk a lot on this podcast
about how, like Arnold brushes up on his improv skills,
this lady is improv.

Speaker 5 (46:30):
Oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
Didn't anybody else think it's weird that she was going
to be taking your son to such a fancy restaurant?

Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, a little bit, like, I don't know, maybe there's
not that many places to go in a story, like.

Speaker 5 (46:39):
A glass of sharden and some crayons. She should have
taken them with that restaurant from the Gooni's maybe that
is the restaurant from the Guineyes, they got their shit
together that it's called, just called for Telly's.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
So they all have dinner together, with O'Hara pretending to
be Arnold's sister like like Dave said, uh visiting from Austria.
Arnold asks for advice on connecting with the parents of
his class over dinner, while O'Hara wingman's the shit out
of him to help him with his obvious crush a
plus for her. After dinner, Arnold confides in O'Hara that

(47:15):
he is having some trouble handling with kids, so she
tells him that he needs to handle it like a police.

Speaker 5 (47:20):
Situation, so he shoots them all. So this whole scene,
the Boatox scene and the restaurant scene with how Kimball
and his partner, basically how Arnold and Pimmela Reid react
like interactions are the dynamic that you need if Arnold
is going to play a straight man.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 5 (47:41):
And I mentioned that because David, have you seen Red Heat?
Jimply Okay, yeah, that was. I think that was Arnold's
first dabble into comedy. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was.
I mean sorry, I'm only saying yeah because if you
call that a comedy, but technically it was no like

(48:04):
it's technically like it wasn't very good.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
It really went under the radar too. It didn't really
hit very well. But because it I think that was
his first taste.

Speaker 5 (48:10):
Of it, I was just it was just disappointing because
I was looking, actually looking forward to watching that, and
then we watched it and I was like, ugh, like
I don't know, it was just like this is this
basically is what Red Heat was missing, which is like
probably just like a screenwriter that understands how to write
comedy well.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Also, I think also a director who wanted to make
a comedy as opposed to fucking Walter Hill.

Speaker 5 (48:33):
Yeah, Walter Hill, who said that he doesn't make a
like he's never made a comedy. It's just like action
movies that happened to have some comedy in him exactly.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
He specifically said he didn't want it to be a
buddy comedy.

Speaker 5 (48:45):
Yeah, because like, no disrespect to Walter Hill, but the
guy probably puts on like uncut gems like falling down
when he wanted wants to watch a comedy. He's like,
oh fuck, yeah. Michael Doug was like trying to take
care of people. But like Pamela Reid's character is actually
also likable, whereas Jim Belushi was playing like a ship
bag cop who's like just loved it, like a harassing
women in pent and racist jokes appearing so a cop, Yeah, yeah, exactly.

(49:09):
I think that came out. I think that came out
around the same time as Dead Heat as well, which
was that did came out. I almost almost started fucking
with you guys because I, uh, that started popping up
a lot commercials for that. I'm like, what the fuck
is this? And I was like Williams, and I'm like,
I should have started showing them trailers for dead Yes

(49:29):
it was.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
But I left it.

Speaker 5 (49:32):
Oh did you? And then like his uh her sorry
her line, if you were any stiffer, we could take
your surfing. Yeah, that.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
Different contexts today. What she meant it has.

Speaker 5 (49:50):
And so he uh she uh meant or he mentions
the kids pushing around, but uh have you ever had
that like dangerous mind stuff, take a standard of liver
approach and stuff.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Not yet knock on wood. I was gonna say, some
bridge when we get there.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Chair in ready, ready unloaded.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
I did have I carry a POCKETKNP. I just always
have for fucking decades. And at one of these schools.
I was there for like a five day gig, like assisting.
I wasn't even teaching. I was like backup teacher in
the room. And one morning, like my third morning, and
I'm checking in the PRINCI was like, hey, h one
of the kids told us, you have a pocket knife?
Would you mind leaving that in the car? And I

(50:31):
wear like untucked butting up shirts, so my first thought
was like, how the fuck did they see it? And
then second, who's the snitch?

Speaker 5 (50:40):
Because I'm gonna think, get out with the knife? What
are you doing?

Speaker 3 (50:44):
Do you know how dangerous it is to snitch on
somebody who has the knife?

Speaker 5 (50:48):
Exactly? That's dangerous? Minds less than number one? Okay, sorry,
that's all.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
So uh, Arnold decides to take it another way, choosing
to turn his class into a boot camp, spending the
next couple of days whipping his kids into shape and
managing to have a bit of fun as well.

Speaker 4 (51:08):
Yeah, that was a two day montage, which is really
quick to whip some kids into shit like that.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
So we montage our way through running in exemplary fire
drill and building a bit of confidence for Zach before
sitting down for storytime.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
Yeah, but I was paying attention to the outfits. He
was wearing their two outfits, and I was like, okay,
this is two days.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Yeah, and then we finally get a third outfit when
it's storytime. Yes, So they sit down for storytime. Arnold
grabs a book and then fails to explain the finer
points of divorce to some really jaded children. Yeah, I
got sad, not just for like obviously it was supposed
to be sad for Arnold because he's thinking about his
failed marriage and stuff.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Right, he's about a son against second time. He's talking
about I got a son out there somewhere in the world.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
But these kids are like so jaded. They're like, yeah,
the way Dominic asked him, like why don't you see
your son anymore? Was he bad? And I was like, holy.

Speaker 5 (52:00):
Ship, yeah, wait, is that not a thing.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
For you? It was okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 5 (52:08):
He was like, wait, that's that's why my dad listened
around because I was bad. It wasn't his fault. We
heard discussed this. He wanted to be there. Why don't
he love me?

Speaker 3 (52:16):
Man?

Speaker 5 (52:17):
As you're also, uh, he pretty much almost unloads his
issues on those kids. I was like, come on, come on.
So I feel like that's very it could be very
easy to do. So they start asking questions where you're like, oh, okay,
I'm like, well, gotta no, Nope, they're gonna.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
So while the kids sleep after story time.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Oh man, if I could get a room full of
kids to sleep that fast, lord, that would be amazing.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
That So loading them up with dairy products doesn't work.

Speaker 5 (52:48):
Well, you gotta know, you gotta like do what he
was doing boot camp. They're just fucking tired. Yeah, to
try that next time.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Uh So, while the kids sleep, Arnold has a dream
about Crisp showing up, and just as he's about to
get shot, he wakes up in a fright. Joyce is
there to ask him on a date at her house.
The following night, back at the motel, Arnold fines a
strange car and cautiously enters the room, where he scares
the boner right out of and he busts in with.

Speaker 4 (53:19):
A gun and his defining characteristic as he's clumsy. Yes,
knocking shit over.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
Yeah, that's his whole deal.

Speaker 5 (53:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
The next day at school, Arnold finally catches up with
Zach's mom, but discovers that rather than being Crisp's kid,
he's actually a victim of domestic abuse at the hands
of his father. Arnold warns missus Sullivan that if it
happens again, he'll press charges.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
Yeah again getting a little heavy in a comedy here, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Yeah, but I yeah, this through line works for me
as like softening Arnold.

Speaker 5 (53:50):
Well, this was the one time during the entire movie
that he decided to show some restraint, which was I
don't think we're there yet, No, no, no, he does,
because like just like just like not doan you think
like you're a cop. Do you think you do something.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
Besides pressing charge exactly, like give.

Speaker 5 (54:04):
Her warning, like something besides giving her a warning, which
you know she's not going to relate to her husband,
so of course not so yeah, like you should. I
don't know, like La Arnold would have followed them and
then beat the fuck out of.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
La r Yeah, that guy would have a shotgun, would.

Speaker 5 (54:20):
Have handed her use this.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
Yeah. So back in La Cindy buys some drugs off
a dealer in the street, and it's revealed that Crisp's
mother paid off the dealer to give Cindy what is
presumably like a bad batch.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
Okay, the connections this woman has because she's presented as
like high profile, high societal classy, but she's also friends
with street level drug dealers.

Speaker 5 (54:44):
Like, hey, hey, he'ses garbage to her.

Speaker 3 (54:47):
She's just Mama Fratelli with a better wardrobe.

Speaker 5 (54:49):
Exactly. Well, he's connected, man, she knows everybody.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
I would assume that would be one of Crisp's drug dealers,
you know. I mean the guy doesn't know who she
is because probably yeah.

Speaker 5 (55:01):
I don't know, but that's like Marlon Brando was talking
to a foot soldier on the God. Probably he's not
going to do that. I mean, she she's got to
know who she is because like she's the one that
gave him, Like what is he just gonna need? He
is like she's like, here's fifty dollars. Do you have
this girl that's coming in these drugs? Okay? I mean
I guess that. I mean, what does I guess after
saying I was like okay, maybe, well no.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Because then you're losing a customer, you know, you want
him to come back.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Probably loses a.

Speaker 5 (55:27):
Lot of Yeah, that's a numbers game here, you're not
really tanking on. Maybe she like didn't undercover Boston and
now she just wants to like be more more involved
in stuff. Like she's like like she wasn't she din't
used to be like this, but now she you know,
Plus chrisp is in jail, so she's got to do
this ship because he's not like, right, he's still in jail.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Yes, he's definitely still Actually, have.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
We considered that she didn't know the drugs are gonna
kill her? She's maybe just trying out a new product. Okay,
let's try this. See what happened?

Speaker 5 (55:57):
She died? Shit? Okay, well, I'm not gonna put that
on them.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
He's actually trying to pay off Cindy.

Speaker 5 (56:05):
She's an entrepreneur. Okay, we try to cut it with Ajax.
Lesson learned it doesn't work.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
It does not clean your inside all right. Uh. So,
Arnold gets ready for his date and O'Hara provides some
wine and flowers for him to take At Joyce and
Dominic's place. Joyce prepares dinner while Dominic shows Arnold his
secret hiding place.

Speaker 5 (56:27):
Oh sorry, real quick with for them getting ready for
the date. He mentions the quickest way to slip up
during undercover work is doing things you normally wouldn't do.
Which isn't that like just kind of undercover work, Like, dude, Like,
it just makes me curious if there's like a deleted
scene where he we find out that Kimball's only previous
undercover experience with him infiltrating like a bodybuilding competition for
steroid use. It's like, he's like, you're not supposed to

(56:50):
do stuff that you don't know. I don't know. It's
just I was like, okay, now that he's just in so.

Speaker 4 (56:55):
Deep, he's forgetting what's real. She's taking Wait a second,
am I a teacher?

Speaker 5 (56:59):
What's going on? The steroids affecting my brain? Continue?

Speaker 3 (57:04):
We see Dominic's secret hiding place and he kind of
hints that he and his mother are on the run
from some bad people and reveals his plan to put
a quote unquote laser on a communications tower.

Speaker 5 (57:16):
That laser's house. Yeah he's got more than one, buddy,
So yeah, this kid is smart enough to consider planting
his lasers on the antenna, but dumb enough to think
that rolled up pieces of aluminum foil or a laser
Come on, Oh yeah I noted that later. Yeah, also
this shit, actually this kid should be off Arnold's radar.
Bad people. Okay, it's not just this one guy after him. Yeah,

(57:36):
this is not my target.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
So Arnold's suspicions now aroused, he goes to do some
snoop all. He does some snoopid, but is caught by Dominic.
There's a little easter egg here where the Dominic has
Ghostbusters sheet. After putting Dominic to bed, Arnold does some
light interrogating of Joyce and kind of gets her to

(58:01):
admit that they're hiding from her ex.

Speaker 5 (58:03):
Oh backup just a little bit. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (58:05):
When he was rifling through her drawers just like some stuff.
See this was the cusp of the eighties at nineties. Now,
if this was peak eighties, wh would found some sex
choice that would have been played for a laugh?

Speaker 3 (58:17):
And yeah that would have I thought you were going
to say he would have spent a little longer in
her underwear drawer.

Speaker 5 (58:23):
Yeah too, Yeah, that was one of those two things. Yeah,
because he did puble a pair out and hold him up?

Speaker 3 (58:28):
He did, he didn't, Yeah, he wasn't too quick with it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
Also, so I never noticed that peneloty and miller Head
has like this badasscar in her face before, which he
does because when we're watching like it's a downer right cheek,
I believe, but it's down one of her cheek. I'm
pretty sure it's a right cheek. It's like looks like
like a biker scar, but I don't think I know.
Erica looked it up and apparently she was in an
accident back when she was a teenager. But I was like,

(58:52):
holy shit, is she supposed to have that scar? Like,
was that like a like a wedding president from Chris
out of her backstory?

Speaker 3 (58:58):
Damn?

Speaker 5 (58:59):
But then like, you know, it's not that dark. It
is that it's actually anyway.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
So the following day at school, Arnold's class is rehearsing
the Gettysburg Address for a school presentation, which seems like
very heady material for kindergartener's but I don't know.

Speaker 5 (59:17):
It's Oregon, man. It progressed.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
When O'Hara shows up having done a deep dive into
Joyce's life in Astoria. Based on what she found, O'Hara
is pretty sure that Joyce is not who they're after,
because there's no indication that she has the three million
dollars that Crisp's wife supposedly stole.

Speaker 4 (59:36):
Right well, which you think she did because the house
was so nice. Yeah, and her story is like, oh,
it's a friend's house and like, I don't know about
your story.

Speaker 3 (59:43):
But then it does check out. So this leaves Sylvester's
mom as the most obvious suspect, especially when she walks
in at that exact moment with a pony and a
new bike for the school. Raffle.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
Yeah, like fucking pony, Like are you giving them a
gift or a fucking burden right there?

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Ship?

Speaker 5 (01:00:03):
Like who's gonna win that? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
No for real, that's a yeah. That's like she hates
the other parents.

Speaker 5 (01:00:09):
She's like screaming guys like our dog Wally was a
gift for like a sorry, not to us, because that
would be like what a burden? No, no, no, no,
we got him. We got him from the from the pound.
But he like originally I guess he was someone gave
it to a it. Someone gave him to a retiring

(01:00:31):
uh yeah, someone game that gave that due to someone
that like an employee that sorry, a coworker that was
retiring as a retirement gift, and they immediately gave him
to the pound apparently, so yeah, which sucks. I'm like, man,
that's that's called regifting.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Because that is a horrible Sorry, he's he's that's such
a bad idea. Yeah he's got he's he's cool, but like,
that's a horrible gift.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
Was No, in real life, if you have any friends
that have a small child age four or five, get
that child the drum set. You could not screw the
parents over any more than that.

Speaker 5 (01:01:11):
I have a drum set, but they wouldn't let me
get one until I was eighteen. Yeah, you were like, yeah,
I would not buy anyone, And I get it now
because I'm like, come on, like for like years. Anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
So, Arnold and Joyce have a moment in the hallway,
and as he marches his kids back to class, Zach
and his mother show up late. Arnold finds more bruises
on Zach and pursues missus Sullivan.

Speaker 5 (01:01:37):
Zach a little overboard on the acting here, I fell
also bruises on Zach sounds like a cool band name.
It doesn't.

Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
And then when he goes outside he finds.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Sorry, it sounds like a like a collective soul type
nineties by Joe or something like bruises on Zach, I
as you're all music?

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
Oh god? So when he goes outside, he finds mister
Sullivan waiting by the car, all.

Speaker 5 (01:02:15):
Happy and like hey, and I said exactly jovial, not
able to read Arnold's buddy, all hey man, what's going
on is he's like aggressively at the very least he
should be like, oh, I recognize this, I know what
this energy is. This is how it feels.

Speaker 6 (01:02:36):
But if I have been doing this one time.

Speaker 5 (01:02:39):
But this is where also Arnold is getting his l
A tough guy. He couldn't knocked the dude out. Saw
the kids watching him. He's like, nope, not gonna be
la John Kimball.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
Yeah, I'm gonna be nice, buttoned up a story of John.

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
Kim kinder gentler John Kimball, which is just not beating
the ship out of this dude. I don't know if
that's happened yet in nineteen ninety.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
But so he pins him against the car, Sullivan takes
a swing and then Arnold hits him right in the
fucking gut. So he realizes everyone's watching and then tells
Sullivan that he's pressing charges just before Miss Schlowski arrives out.

Speaker 4 (01:03:13):
It's just a shame that this happened. Maybe a decade
before someone would have yelled the world star.

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
Back in the principal's office, Arnold apologizes and Shlowski confronts
him about the fact that he lied about his teaching
experience before complimenting his teaching skills and really reveling in
his like vigilantism.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
Yeah, he has earned her respect. You you punch your parents.

Speaker 5 (01:03:40):
I love you. Yeah, I love her a little like
boxing thing at the at the end of the scene.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Shah exactly when he leaves, and she's like, yeah, yeah,
like you really like her. After that, we cut back
to a dead Cindy as the police captain gives orders
that Arnold and O'Hara are too head back and they
can only bring in Crisp's wife for protection if she'll
give up the money without a witness. Crisp gets out

(01:04:05):
of jail and immediately meets up with his mother.

Speaker 5 (01:04:07):
And they really go hard on the creepy mother sonbody.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Yeah, definitely. We get a little more of it later.

Speaker 5 (01:04:12):
They've been building tours and it's getting it's getting more.

Speaker 4 (01:04:15):
Like like they yeah, no, no, they make love, don't
be dirty.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
Yes. Back in Astoria, the school fair is in full
swing at what is presumably the wealthiest public elementary in
the country. Like they've got a bounce house, a merry
go round, carnival rides, carnival games, a petting zoo, a
fucking live band.

Speaker 5 (01:04:43):
You think those kids got to keep the goony gold
that went to the city, bro, that's public funding.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Also, there's one shot of just a clown sitting down
that is so great, like very funny.

Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
It was the one kid's dad who doesn't do much
after the accident.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
It was a horrible clowning accident. He sees the mad
clown that fell down on.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Stilts got to a crash in the clown car.

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
Arnold's class absolutely kills the with the performance of the
Gettysburg address.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
Wait, Lincoln's dead.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
I'm sorry I had to find out this way, and
I have some bad news about your favorite actor. So
Shlawski tries to guilt trip Arnold into becoming a teacher
full time, and it seems like deep down he might
be considering it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:54):
Well, that's the bell that's going to do it for class.
But please don't skip tomorrow, as we're going to be
finishing off the summary for kindergarten coup. Just remember, as
John Keating once said, there's a time for daring, and
there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands
what she's called for. Carpe DM see.

Speaker 3 (01:06:13):
The If you enjoy our show, please consider giving us
a positive review on Apple Podcasts or your podcast app
of choice. You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram
at the Potty Richter to make sure you never miss
an episode. See You with the Potty Richter is a
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(01:06:36):
Facebook for more hilarious podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
This has been a tape Deck Media production. Thank you
for listening.