Last Action Hero: Production Notes - Hans & Franz, Heidi, & Promo Clips

Chris & Aaron are joined once again by Erika Shasky to FINALLY finish off the production side of Arnold Braunschweiger's 1993 action comedy, Last Action Hero!
They kick things off by discussing Arnold's unmade Hans & Franz movie, before finding out a little bit about Heidi Fleiss and then checking out some promo clips(video links below)! 

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Clips We Watched:
Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Clip #1
Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Clip #2
Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Clip #3
Hans & Franz Saturday Night Live Cold Open(1991)
John McTiernan Interview w/Bobbie Wygant(1993)
Entertainment Weekly "Christmas in Connecticut" Segment(1992)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tape deck Media see.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
The welcome to see you at the Potty Richta manon
Frescus with me as always is Chris Chapman. Oh hey,
and we're also joined once again by guest Erica Shasky.
Thanks for joining us. Hey, welcome back guys.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
By the way, Joe is currently he's not with us today.
He's near the end of his The Game style thing.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
You know, he's on his way to Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Now. I was gonna say, like, yeah, he'll be here
for the summary. See what time is it. It's nine ten? Yeah,
so like within the hour he should be waking up
in like a cemetery or somewhere in Mexico try to
find his way back. Sucker. How exciting for him. Anyway,
this week we'll finally be finishing the production for Arnold.

(01:00):
It's a nineteen ninety three action comedy Last Action Hero
and it only took about six months, which is nice.
I mean that's not bad standard.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
How long it take them to make the movie? What
like eight months?

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah, suckers, suckers, wait ten months? Oh, I know that
because of a video we're gonna watch later. But anyway,
and this episode's gonna be a little different, kind of
like a hybrid episode, part production episode, but also kind
of part bonus episode. Basically a production episode with bonus
episode vibes, although it's all Last Action Hero adjacent, so yeah, yeah,

(01:37):
it's definitely related. Yeah. Anyway, all we have left for
the production portion of the episode or some promo videos
that I have for us to watch. But first, Chris
is gonna tell us a little bit about an Arnold
movie that we never got possibly because of Last Section Hero.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
I mean, according to the people involved, it was pretty direct.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, and what do you think of that? That's my
segue into giving it.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
To Chris Sweet. So basically what we're talking about here
is all based on a podcast that came out. Because
we like to let other people do our work for us,
This podcast came out in twenty twenty three. So in
twenty twenty three, Conan O'Brien produced a four part podcast

(02:21):
mini series about the unproduced movie based on the Hans
and Franz characters from Saturday Night Live, published on the
feed for his main podcast, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
The first episode was titled The Lost Hans and Franz
Movie Episode one, and it released on May seventeenth. He
was joined by Dana Carvey and Kevin Neeland, the SNL

(02:42):
cast members who created the characters as like a parody
of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and with ro Robert Smigel, the co
writer of the movie and the person who invited Conan
to work on the script in the first place.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Who is Triumph?

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yeah? Yeah. He also worked with Conan for a long
time on a show Yeah So, Hans and Frans debut
on Saturday Night Live in nineteen eighty seven and quickly
became a pretty popular recurring sketch wherein Carvey and Nilan
would play Arnold's less impressive cousins hosting a local public
asset sorry ays hosting a local public access TV show

(03:16):
a La Wayne's World, where they mostly flex and insult
any viewer who calls in much the way we would
do if we had any chance.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Okay, So it was always focused on Arnold.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah So in the so, I'm not going to go
into everything they talk about because it's four episodes worth
of podcast, but they do talk about where the idea
came from, which is just that Nilan was watching some
like entertainment show in his hotel one night while they
were on tour, and it was just an interview with
Arnold where he was talking about like his basically his

(03:48):
like nightly routine as he goes out on the town,
and he just started doing an impression.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
Huh.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
And then he called Carvey. Yeah, and then he called
Carvey and was doing the impression and they both loved it.
And so they just sort of torch Dennis Miller for
the rest of the tour with the impression.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
What tour what do you know what tour this was?

Speaker 4 (04:05):
I don't know it was. It was in eighty seven,
so they were on tour. They were doing a stand
up okay with Dennis with Dennis Miller. Interesting, I do
like one detail there, which is that Neilan says his
his impression is all about precision and positivity. Like that's
how you do an Arnold impression. I mean, like that's
that's like the cadence of his and like.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
The I mean that's pretty spot on.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah yeah, wait with positivity, like you're being positive about
yourself because just.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
Like general positivity, just like you know, he's always enthusiastic
about stuff. They gotcha, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Also, nineteen eighty seven. That would have been Predator, right,
Predator was it?

Speaker 6 (04:39):
I think?

Speaker 7 (04:39):
So?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
I think that was Predator and was born like both.
That was sometime in between those two got it.

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Yeah, So sometime around nineteen ninety one, like after the
sketch had already gotten super popular, Smigel and Neelan began
writing a movie that would eventually come to be titled
Hans and Franz The Girly Man Dilemma. After working out
a rough draft of the script, Smigel brought O'Brien on
board to help write the movie. So Neil and Carvey
and Smigel were working on the script from an office

(05:08):
on the Sony Lot, and O'Brien would basically join them
whenever he wasn't busy with his main job writing on
The Simpsons. Okay, so this was before the Late Show, Yeah,
ninety one, so this was he had left SNL already, Yeah,
but he was working on the Simpsons and he doesn't
get his talk show until ninety three.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
So yeah, so some quick details about the film. We're
also going to go through the basic plot of it,
but I just want to do some quick details about
the film as it was written, because obviously we don't
know what would have been changed during production. This is
all just based on the screenplay. Arnold was not to
have just a cameo. He was actually like a super
significant character in the movie with a ton of screen time,

(05:47):
which they kind of they kind of marvel at in
the podcast, like why the fuck did we write it
that way? Why do we write a movie depends on
him like being in a ton of the movie. Yeah,
but it was to be a musical because, as Robert
Smigel put it, that'll kill like twenty five minutes. He said,
when Neil had first brought him the idea for the movie,
he was like, that's a terrible idea, Like, what the

(06:08):
fuck are you gonna do with these two dimensional characters?
So let's make it a musical and kill some time.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, I was. I was watching a sketch earlier, and
I was like, I don't know how I feel like
I would get annoyed with this if it was like
an hour ninety minutes long, Like, yeah, I'm sure it's
ends up being fine because you can make the characters
a little more, like like flesh out the characters more,
because like you would think the same thing about the
about about Wayne's world. Well, Wayne's world. But the one
I was thinking of was the Roxbury guys.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
Yeah that's true. Yeah, yeah, that's there's even less there
to work exactly that.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
I wouldn't call it a movie good, but I mean
it's entertaining. Yeah, it's like fine, yeaheah, I like it. Yeah,
it's entertaining.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
And then it was just like again they kind of
marvel at this because but basically they were like, hey,
if we get Arnold to do this, we can ask
anybody to be in it. And so it was like
chalk full of cameos. It was like Rob Lowe, Roger Ebert,
Bob's Saga, John Ritter, Jack Lalaine, and a bunch of
other people.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
They were just written in as Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
So he says at one point in the podcast, like,
normally in a script you would put in like a
person like this famous person, you know, this type of person.
But in this script, we just wrote all these famous
people into it because we figured, look, if we get Arnold,
we'll get anybody who saying that that was Conan mainly Okay, yeah,
so now I'm just gonna take us through the plot,

(07:28):
or at least as much of the plot as we
really get in the podcast, they don't read the entire script,
They just read through like selected scenes from basically, yeah,
essentially what they think are the probably the funniest parts.
So the movie begins with Hans and Franz losing their
TV show after making some disparaging comments about the physique

(07:48):
of doctor Martin Luther King Junior, so a strong shirt.
Not sure what to do next, the pair head to
Little Austria to live like in the Old Country, but
their grandmama suggests that they follow the example of their

(08:09):
cousin Arnold, so they set out for the three thousand
mile journey to Hollywood on a tandem bicycle.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Oh, it was Little Austria in New York.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
It was in New York. I'm actually not sure technically
where they start, but I think it's new.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
I did read that to where it was like little Austria,
but there were like hills and stuff like this or
something like I did in an article. Yeah, they didn't
say too much about it except that like, basically everyone
in Little Austria was a fucking weightlifter. Like everyone's super
jacked and huge, and everybody in like the Old Country
in Austria is super jack and huge.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
The pair montage their way across the country and eventually
make it to Los Angeles. After struggling for a bit
to find their famous cousin, they eventually tackle Arnold at
a movie premiere and he has to bail him out
of jail. As a result, he invites the pair to
stay at his mansion while they get on their feet.
All the while, we are seeing Hans and Franz's friend
from Little Austria, Rolf, who was to be played by

(08:59):
Dulph Lundgren, working with a mysterious dark figure to kidnap
the nation's quote unquote girly men.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Why exactly do they want to kidnap the girly men?

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Like?

Speaker 3 (09:09):
For what?

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Rolf is just like there's there's like this mysterious bad
guy who's just evil. Like he's like there's a so
the the main plot is Rolf and this mysterious bad
guy want to kidnap all of the girly men, which
we don't really find out why until later. And then
there's just this little thing where the mysterious person keeps
getting Oh and make sure you hurt the environments. Like

(09:34):
he said, it's just because that seemed to always pop
up in movies. That the bad doing something bad to
the environment. So now say who that they wanted for
the Yeah? Eventually okay, uh so back with Hans Franz
and Arnold, we're given a tour of Schwarzenegger's mansion, where
every design element or decoration is an ode to physical fitness.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
I mean, like so just basically his place.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well but like way way more uh sillier, Like the
gate is a pair of flexed arms and they flex open.
The staircase is just a bunch of stairmasters all stitched together,
so exaggera yeah. Yeah. And then there's a specially funny
scene that they all love where he goes where they
basically asked Arnold where the bathroom is, and he goes,

(10:17):
You head down to the bicet, take a left at
the butt because just everything's a muscle.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
So sorry, quick question. Yeah, so the like you're this
person that you're are you not supposed to see this
main bad guy?

Speaker 4 (10:30):
No, it's yeah, he's like in the dark.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Okay, so it's like a it's a reveal at the
end of the movie, gotcha. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
So eventually Arnold leads them to a giant pair of
buttocks that separates to reveal the secret war room, where
several teams of people are doing research on the best
career moves, inventing new exercises to better target specific muscles,
and most importantly, an experimental anabolic cracker that will let
anyone become obscenely bulky without any dangerous side effects. So

(10:59):
after we see the cousins bonding with Arnold for a bit,
we cut to Beverly Hills as several famous girly men
are abducted by muscle bound goons. So that's like John
Ritter and Bob Sagett and like all those people. News
reports make a connection between the crime spree and Hans
and Franz since they so frequently use the term girly
man on their show, which was canceled right before all

(11:21):
the kidnappings started. As Arnold is trying to help his
cousins avoid jail, it's discovered that someone has stolen Arnold's
experimental crackers. Hans and Franz taken back to the screening
room where Ebert is reviewing the movie. Movie didn't they
put that in? Maybe I didn't put that in? Shit,
Sorry I missed that part. So at the beginning of

(11:41):
when they're montaging their way out to Hollywood. Yeah, they
at one point just drop in on Ebert, who was
literally in his screening room reviewing the movie as it's happening. Yeah,
and so eventually they go back there, but they find
out that Ebert has been girly napped as well. We
see Ebert is being tormented by exercise equipment as Rolf

(12:05):
in The Mysterious Bad Guy explain their plan to feed
Arnold's crackers to all the girly men and then reveal
them to the world at the Mister Little Austria Contest.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
I'm really curious, if I might look it up for
a second, if if Roger Ebert actually like, no.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
They never gave the script. Okay. They make a big
point of how, like Jesus Christ, the script is insanely
insulting to Ebert. How were we ever going to get
him to be in this movie? Because it gets really bad.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Okay. I was curious because I was like, I.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
Mean, he has a sense of humor, but yeah, but
I don't know, Like, again, they you should go listen
to the podcast because it gets really bad. Okay, let's see.
Oh yeah, so seeing all this on Ebert's screen, they're
basically watching the movie as it's happening. Arnold warrens Hans
and Franz that the crackers are still experimental and will

(12:58):
cause horrible side effect in seventy two hours, so he
gives them the antidote that comes in the form of
cheese Whiz and sends them off to Little Austria. They
arrive and attempt to infiltrate the bad guy's layer by
poisoning by posing poorly as girly men. They do get abducted,
but Ralph reveals that he immediately recognized them and hooks

(13:20):
up hooks them up to his flabbosuction machine, which will
suck the flab right out of Roger Ebert and insert
it into them Jesus. Okay, yeah, So Arnold saves them
at the last minute and they all climb into his
humvey and head to the Little Austria town square to
stop the pumped up girly men from terrorizing the town.

(13:40):
Pumped up girly men like Orville Reddenbacker and John Ritter
was Orville Reddenbacker.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Alive means commercials in there. I remember commercials from the
early nineties. Okay, I wasn't sure if they were just
gonna have somebody dress up like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
It was actually him. It's like different people dressing up
as the colonel.

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Yeah, let's see died in ninety five, Okay, so yeah,
he was still alive his final appearance. Yeah, so they
go stop all the like the rooted out girly men
from terrorizing to town. It's I thought it was funny
that they specifically never say the words steroids, even though
that's clearly like what they are. Yeah, I just thought

(14:25):
that was interesting. I assume that's so that Arnold would
like do the movie. Yeah, I don't know. Oh so,
Arnold kind of moralizes to the citizens of Little Austria,
explaining that the world needs girly man and muscle men
to live in harmony. When he is suddenly attacked by Ralph.
Ralph and Arnold trade some bad one liners before Arnold
wins pretty easily. The mysterious bad guy appears and starts

(14:48):
terrorizing the town again until there is like a Wizard
of Oz style revealed that the bad guy is famed
fitness guru Jack Lelaine Okay, who takes Grandmama hostage to
prote himself.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
His Grandmama was supposed to be played by someone.

Speaker 4 (15:02):
Grandmama puts up a fight, but he takes her down
with a quick with a kick to the groin, which
is funny because now it's a good time to reveal
that Grandmama is just Arnold in a wig. He plays
his own grandma. So they were just gonna put him
in an old lady wig and have him play his
own grandmother.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
So I thought it was going to be somebody like
what was her name, like Chloris, I thought.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
But everybody's got to be jacked, let's see. So and enraged,
Arnold shoots Lelane in the head with a shotgun, but
he's revealed to be T one thousand style liquid metal.
As his head reforms, he takes his throne actually a
stare stepper machine, and demands the crowd bow to him,
but Franz is able to turn the speed all the
way up, destroying Lelane in like a very complicated way

(15:51):
that doesn't really make any sense. The film ends with
a musical number titled Brotherhood of Man and Girly Man,
which is the only song they actually sing in the podcast. Yeah,
but yeah, that's pretty much the movie. It's a lot
funnier than it sounds. When they actually go through the script.
Some of my favorite jokes are the Roger Ebert bit

(16:14):
in the beginning I found really funny. So Hans and
Franz they're making their way across the country. They eventually
stop in and are like bugging Ebert as he's reviewing
the movie. Yeah, and they won't leave him alone, and
they're like, it's a pretty good movie. It's pretty good movie,
and eventually is like, guys, I really got to get
on with this. Can you please leave me alone? And
then after they leave, he turns direct to camera and goes,

(16:35):
it is good. They ride a tanda bike all the
way to La, but they keep picking people up, so
every time they pick somebody up that goes with them
to La, the tanda bike grows an extra seat and
an extra wheel until they have ten people on it.
And then when they get to La, he like pulls
a pin out and all the people on the back
turn into unicycles and just go off go writing off.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Fun it's very weird.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's super yeah, absurd and surreal.
And then just like Orvile, Reddenbacher as a super jack
like monster man I thought was really funny. And then
and then part of the part of the resolution at
the end is Arnold flexing his peck so fast that
he starts flying like a helicopter. Yeah, but yeah, I

(17:23):
also brought a few videos that relate directly to Last
Action Hero because Smichel claims that there was some initial
interest from Arnold that sparked the idea, as he had
come on SNL for the Hansen fraud sketch at least once.
I think Carvey says it might have been twice, but.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
It was twice.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
It was twice.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was once when de Vito was host and there
was one of the I know it was twice because
I've watched two of them. I can't remember what the
other one. The other one was a cold open got it, so.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Carvey remembers him being really delighted by it and super
into it. But neither Dana Carvey nor Kevin Neelan say
outright that Schwarzenegger like directly asked for the movie or anything.

Speaker 7 (18:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Again, Smichael says that he heard from somebody that Arnold
had actual direct interest in this movie, but by the
time the script got to anybody official, Arnold had basically
already decided to pass due to Last Action Hero's reception, gotcha.
So yeah. I mean they wrote it in ninety one,
and he had both Junior and Last Action Hero in development.

(18:31):
Oh he are so okay, So they were both in development,
but by the time they were like done with the
script and like ready to give it to somebody, Last
Action Hero had already come out and kind of.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
So it would have had well, I mean those movies
came out in the same year, which reason uned out.
I don't think he did anything for ninety five. Yeah,
but I mean I guess he would have been making.
He was I'm sure he was making because he came
out with two The ninety six was a Racer and
Robin No Jingo all the way right right, and then

(19:03):
Batman Forever or Batman Robin I think was ninety seven. Yeah,
so yeah, I'm curious which one he wouldn't have Uh
if a Last Section Hero would have done, well, I'm
curious which one of those he would pushed he would
have yeah, or like just wouldn't have accepted Yeah, because
didn't we say something like oh that was something with

(19:24):
the Rock too, Like if he did the Rock then
he went an eraser then yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Yeah, yeah, all right, So I have a few short
videos here. One of them is just funny, I like,
I like what, and the other two are directly related
to Last Action Hero. So this first one is just
when Arnold surprises the whole cast and comes in to
read his own part.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Interesting.

Speaker 8 (19:47):
Of course, Hans and Franz will be played by of
course appropriately rons by Hans and Franz, Dana and Kevin
and Robert you will be playing the part of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Speaker 9 (19:57):
Again, Arnold did Arnold's here?

Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah? We could like to meet Arnold.

Speaker 9 (20:03):
We couldn't.

Speaker 4 (20:04):
He's a pleasure.

Speaker 9 (20:06):
Wow, Arnold just walked in. This is incredible. Finally, friend Arnold.

Speaker 8 (20:18):
Amazing that you would just wander in without even being amazing.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
I just really liked that part because I really like
the clutch cargo.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, it's actually thought I was going to be Arnold
Arnold coming in, but uh oh, by the way, that
wasn't Arnald Schwartzenario. That was Robert Smigel doing.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
I think they could tell sure.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
You know, the whole time I was watching it, I
was like, oh, when does he come in and surprise him?

Speaker 4 (20:46):
Okay? And then these next two are actually directly related
to last section. Hero Cool. First one is a recollection
of the pitch meeting with Arnold that took place at
his restaurant, Shatzi's in the early nineties, because.

Speaker 9 (21:01):
We did have a meeting with Schwarzenegger.

Speaker 8 (21:03):
We all went and I remember there was some other
people there too, obviously, some agents, and.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Normally you have Australia friends around, like big guys.

Speaker 10 (21:13):
In this case, it was just agents and thinks.

Speaker 9 (21:15):
Yeah, and I don't remember having any interaction with them
other than I fell. I mean, I think he talked
to a table, sat at a table, But I'm saying,
do you.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
Remember I remember him talking about the first.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Thing he said.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
First thing he said, you.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Guys have gone crazy with the parts buddings, opening and clothing.

Speaker 9 (21:31):
I remember he went to or at least enough of it,
but he mentioned that.

Speaker 10 (21:36):
He was excited at that point. And then he was
just telling us about his other projects and yeah, I'm
going to be a play a pregnant guy.

Speaker 11 (21:44):
And it's really touching and am because I go through
and I understand what women go through and the comedies
because the man, you know, traditionally he doesn't count.

Speaker 9 (21:58):
That he gets into it because of you know the thing. Yeah, right,
out of diagram.

Speaker 10 (22:14):
That was weird telling something I'm the only man who's
pregnant that it has the six pack over the belly
of the little child.

Speaker 11 (22:22):
Even the child has six bags insidety, it's six who
crushed the.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Child a chance Arnold, Like, I mean he does do that.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
But yeah, so they're basically what they're talking about there
is they had a meeting with him at Shatzis.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
Yeah. I think they mentioned this in uh the episode
that they end up talking the first time they mentioned it.
I don't remember who was the guests. It might have
been Dina Carvey, that Carvey.

Speaker 4 (22:50):
Because Kevin Neilon never talks about anything, but I.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Think it was when Dana Carvey they talk about. I
think Laura Michaels was there too. Maybe I can't remember
the Conan podcast that that was definitely the Coney no no, no, no,
sorry he was at the meeting maybe, like oh yeah,
I can't remember, like it was a few years ago
when I listened to it, but I'm pretty sure that
they talked about like when they're meeting with them, but
they didn't go into.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
As much detail. Yeh, gotcha.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Oh yeah, I I was gonna what I was gonna
say is as far as like him explaining stuff like that,
because he does that all the time.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
Yeah, and I think that's kind of what Neilan's talking
about when he says precision. He said the the precision,
Like he explains everything too much and like oh yeah, yeah,
like overly detailed about yeah thing.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Well he does do that, but like he does have
does movies, and I always have to stop myself from like, Okay,
well this is great, Like this is a great clip
because like all he's doing is describing the movie. But
he's like exactly, but then like he does a lot
of spoilers, like.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
Yeah, yeah, he does. He just he just says he
I think he basically just says how they pitched him
the movie, you know what I mean. Just he just
gives the pitch back to you when you ask him
about any movie.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, like he does what what uh what my grandpa
does when uh when I ask him how the movie was,
Like I think it was the town that Ben Affleck movie,
which I'm sure I mentioned this too before. I know
I mentioned Erica because I was like, uh, he mentioned
that he went and watched the movie yeah, and uh,
I was like, oh, yeah, you watched the Town. He's
how was it? He's like, well, they end up I

(24:24):
can't remember it, like they end up doing like there's
a robbery and then at the end like I don't
want to ruin.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
It for if you haven't seen it doesn't matter. Okay,
I haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
If you haven't seen it by now, yeah exactly, he
ends up, uh betraying. I can't remember how it ends,
but he ends up with trying someone and they get away. Yeah, okay,
well I know how the Town ends.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Now, like straight up told you, like with no regard
for I.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Was, I mean, on purpose.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
It was just like, yeah, that's just that's the movie.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
I was like, all right, uh well, I.

Speaker 4 (24:55):
Just understand how I feel about the movie. You have
to know what happens.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, but yeah, the same way. And I've seen the
way Arnold Schwartzener explains movies like he I watched a
few interviews for Sabotage when I was trying to find
stuff now, like and I remember watching it before and
I was like, you just ruined tho Old like part
of the movie, like one of the twists I can't
remember what, just completely give it away.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
That was. That was the same with Terminator three when
you were watching like he he was doing the commentary
and he's just explaining what the scene is.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, yeah, he has that a lot on the any
any sort of comment like director's commentary and this is
the scene where I do this, and I'm doing this.

Speaker 4 (25:36):
But it's like these to be fair, if you're just
sitting there having to do a commentary track, especially by yourself, Yeah,
you just got to fill two hours.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah, especially by yourself. Like that's awkward by yourself, really awkward.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, but you could be like, oh, I remember like
this or that, or I remember it was really cold
this night, or or you know, like something I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
The weirdest part of that is that that commentary track
was filled with all the actors and I think the
director too, but all the actors. So they could have
not included that because it's it's all the actors doing
it separately. So like they could have just not included
the part where arms Schwartzeaker just just describes the scene.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
That's going on.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
But maybe like like if I guess if it's his
scene and no one else is in the scene and
they're like, I don't know, this is Yeah, it just
put it. This is just put in yeah describing the scene.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
I guess, yeah, okay, And then the next clip, the
last clip is actually where they talk about hearing that
Arnold would not be moving forward with the project and
the reasons that they were given as to why he
had made the decision.

Speaker 10 (26:40):
Gotcha, At what point do you want to talk about
why the movie didn't get made?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Well, one thing I'll start the conversation with this is
that I was naive personally and found out later maybe
from the late great Brad Gray, He's got like ten
things at all times.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
He has multiple moultiple projects.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
But I was I didn't really realize how, you know,
we were not necessarily on the top of the list,
but we might have got made. But I was probably
thinking more like maybe had two projects or three.

Speaker 9 (27:10):
What I like to do?

Speaker 12 (27:11):
I have like five projects lined up for myself and
I want to do.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
It depends on you know what I'm looking for.

Speaker 9 (27:16):
We're not talking about yard work?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Is this one of your projects right now?

Speaker 4 (27:23):
This doesn't count the project.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
I'm screwed, but in retrospect, isn't it? I Mean there
are other reasons too, but he always movie stars, huge
movie stars like the Rock doesn't have like just two
two things.

Speaker 10 (27:34):
But I remember a specific phone call that, like I
got to talk to his was there a guy named Lou,
do you guys anybody? And the guy tells me that
because so while we were waiting, Last Action Hero came
out and kind of bombed, and Last Action Hero he

(27:55):
didn't play himself, but he played it was a tongue
in cheek as an action hero, as an action hero,
and Lou basically said that Arnold. It was almost like,
you know, disproves the law.

Speaker 9 (28:08):
You can't do yourself I'll never do myself in the
movie again, right right.

Speaker 8 (28:12):
That was no last action that he took from that
at the time we heard that because Last Action Hero
came out.

Speaker 9 (28:18):
I don't know if it came out while we were
writing it. I think he was developing that then while
he was talking to us about this script. Yes, he was.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
It's a and or if we got into it first,
maybe would have got made. Then we would have been you.

Speaker 10 (28:31):
Never did make fun of yourself been a hit.

Speaker 4 (28:36):
Then he would have just always made.

Speaker 9 (28:42):
There must be Buddock stores in every movie.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
I mean, he really was.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
He was the biggest.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
That's pretty much as far as that goes. But that's
that seems to be, at least from their recollection. The
main thing that happened is they wrote the movie. They
were kind of trying to get everything ready for it,
and then last sec Shinneiro came out and he was
basically like, all right, no more like parodies, no more
like comedies. Yeah, no more being meta or anything like that.
That sucks.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, So who wero oute the majority of that script?
You know, is it Robert Spigel or was it.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
So the way they said it happened is that Smigel
and Neelan did like the first draft. Okay, at some
point Smigel says, hey, we should bring Conan in on this,
so they call him. He says, yeah, I'll do it.
They're all technically writing. They do talk about at one
point like they had that they had a hotel room

(29:34):
they were working out of and they were working on
the Sony lot where they would all show up like
on certain days and just sit there and try and
hash out the script. But also Smigel at the beginning
of the podcast really says like we had a version
of it, and then Conan came in and really worked
on the second half. Like the second half was a
lot of Conan jokes, a lot of Conan's ideas interesting. Yeah,

(29:56):
so so I mean I don't know, I don't you know,
I don't know how much that's true or how or
Smigel's just being nice or what. But yeah, that seems
to be the majority of how it went. Okay, Yeah,
that's pretty much the podcast. You should definitely go listen
to it. It's it's very funny. The plot and like
the script stuff that they read is way funnier than
it was in my description. But yeah, it sounds funny,

(30:18):
especially like it's it's super absurd, and that's what I
really like about it. It's like so it's like it's
like Wayne's World, but eat like way more surreal.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, which which makes sense because like between Conan and Smigel, like.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Yeah, I mean that's yeah, that's how they write.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Now I'm curious to see this is how I get
stuck in like rabbit hole stuff because he's now like
like there's no way that Conan wouldn't have taken late Night.
It just would have stopped working on the movie. But like, yeah,
as far as the other like mostly Robert Smigel, but
like I don't know when Danna Carvey left SNL. I

(30:53):
don't know when Kevin Neil. I think Kevin Nillan was
still on this Saturday.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Ninety three, I think, yeah, he was still on, but
it was Dana Carvey's I think Carvey left in ninety one.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Okay, I did some research.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
I think I did some research into it, and I
can't fully remember, but I think he left in ninety one. Damn. Yeah,
that's way earlier than I thought. I think it was
ninety one or ninety two, and I think Melan was
there until like ninety four.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
See, this is like again, this is how I get
stuck doing like stuff that I'm like, you spent way
too much time on this, but I can. But now
I can tell you exactly what they were doing at
the time.

Speaker 4 (31:26):
You know what, Now I think I'm totally wrong. I
think I remember reading in Carve's Wikipedia that he was
he took off in ninety four and then came back
fall of ninety four to host. Okay, yeah, so I
think I'm wrong about that.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
It was so after both Wayne's World.

Speaker 4 (31:44):
Yeah, but what are you wondering, like if.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
He's no, like just what they were doing at the time,
Like they were doing at the time when the movie
would have getting like like.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Going or whatever going, which I mean he was he
was what like about to shoot Wayne's World. Wayne's World
was ninety two.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Ninety two, and I'm assuming ninety three and ninety four.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
I don't think it was ninety four.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
But on top of that, who even knows if they
would have like when it would have got gotten made
because yeah, again, because he was so because Schwarzenegger was
so busy.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
Yeah, I feel like that wouldn't have gotten made till
like ninety five, because in ninety three he still had
not like fully signed up for it. They were obviously
still trying to like get him on board.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Then yeah, yeah, I maybe it would have been something
like the Thing instead of oh Man, instead of Jing
all the way they'd have had to recast or Redenbacker.

Speaker 4 (32:34):
He would have died right before they made the movie.
They do talk about it. Again, I shouldn't read the podcast,
but they do spend a significant amount of time talking
about how basically every cameo in the podcast on the
movie is dead John Ritter, Roger Ebert, Jacqueline Yeah, Orval Redenlrocker,

(32:57):
like just everybody. Sonny Bono was in it.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Their script killed everybody. Yep, Okay, before we check out
the promo videos. There was one thing that I left
out of the post production stuff that I was going
to include when we did the summary, But it's going
to take like at least a few minutes, and I
didn't want to completely derail the summary because we already
do that enough as it is.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
Got it.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
But yeah, so I guess a couple months after last
Section Hero was released, there was like this big holly
blue around Hollywood about Heidie Flies. Oh okay, you remember
who that is? Correct?

Speaker 4 (33:29):
Yeah, I mean I'm vaguely aware of who she is.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
So she was a Hollywood madam, like one of the
top ones and all of Hollywood. Bit was basically worried
because she had a list. She had a list, so.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
They were playing it's like an Epstein situation where she
had dirt and everything.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yes, so she had like an address book or whatever,
like like a list of her clients. Okay, okay, yeah,
a black book if you will, Yeah, exactly. So the
reason I was going to wait till the summary to
go over all this like Heidi Fly stuff is because
there's it sort of has a connection to the movie,
kind of merely because apparently there were unsubstantiated rumors at

(34:08):
the time that were being tossed around by some members
of the media that a couple of scenes in last
section Hero actually included call girls that were hired from
Flice What. Yeah, And I think one of those scenes
mentioned was the Blockbuster video scene. And then I think
the other possible scene took place at the end of
that car chase shootout sequence that's happening when Danny first

(34:32):
gets like pulled into the movie. And you know how
like at the end of that sequence, the bad guys
their car crashes through a building and all those like
half naked girls are in there.

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Oh yeah, yeah, gotcha. Yeah, So it's that part right
after they played Chicken in the.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Alley, Yes, exactly right after that. Supposedly it's like some
of the girls were in that scene.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Oh right, they played the models. Supposedly, gotcha.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Although, like I said, those rumors were never confirmed or
proven or anything. They're just completely like the media was
just making guesses. I think, Oh, Okay, it became like
this big thing because like so basically she got arrested
in June of ninety three, like June ninth, nineteen ninety
three on three fell charges, which were fellingy, pimping, pandering,
and possession of cocaine for sale. Got it, But I

(35:14):
guess her arrest didn't really become a big news story
until like two months later, when a couple of things happened,
which the first one was an LA Times article published
on August first, nineteen ninety three that was basically a
profile of her and how she became like one of
the top madams for the Hollywood, like Hollywood elite, and
then like super rich businessmen as well. Yeah, so just
like a high profile madam. I guess, I don't know,

(35:36):
but the article doesn't really name names except for ones
that had already been leaked, like producer Robert Evans, you
know that.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
Is Yeah, yeah, he was involved in the Godfather and
stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah, yeah, who said he hadn't spoken to her for
a while. And then Billy Idol, who said he'd met
her before but he didn't really know.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
Her very well.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Plus like Billy Idol doesn't Basically their statement was Billy
Idol doesn't.

Speaker 4 (35:56):
Pay for sex. They got him there.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
There's actually a good quote from one of the guys
The La Times reached out to and his name's Bob Crow,
who was an heir to a real estate empire, who
told them, quote, we knew each other pretty well. Frankly,
I had a little romantic interest in Hattie at one time,
but she is sort of a businesswoman, and then added
I haven't seen her in months. I got a scadaddle now,
and that's in there. I got a scadadle now, yep,

(36:24):
and that this made me left that they included that
I got a scadaddle now as part of the quote.
But maybe just because he it was like trying to
show that he's like wants to not talk to them.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Yeah, I don't know anyway.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
But yeah, So besides those few people, the article just
mentions that Flye's clients included studio executives that had paid
her with movie development funds hm hm and a big
name producer whose thing was shitting on women Jesus Christ.
And there's a couple more but those. Yeah, But since
the La Times had no concrete evidence that these were

(36:58):
actual clients, no name were given in the article, although
he did have a Heardie Flyes was threatening to release
names from her like black book is what she called it. Yeah,
and I guess after she was arrested. She even told
Variety that she would spill the beans to any publisher
that made her that like, met her one million dollar
price tag. But still at this point, no names besides

(37:20):
the ones that were already leaked had been mentioned.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
So, two days later, on August third, Columbia's president of
Worldwide Production, Michael Nathanson released a statement through his lawyer
denying rumors that he'd used development money to pay for
call girls, you know, in order to get ahead of that,
you know, possible bad news that might be coming.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (37:39):
So he basically said I did not have relations with
that woman, yeah, before anybody said he even had.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
Yeah. Yeah. My favorite part of the statement was when
he says, quote, it's time he confronted the rumors, put
them to bed, and get on with his life. I mean,
come on, he's married, now, why would you need to
pay for hookers? That The last part was made up
by me, But the rest of it, Yes, he wants
to move on with his life.

Speaker 6 (38:02):
Not the only thing you got to put to bed.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
His children.

Speaker 6 (38:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
But yeah, So, for some reason, this didn't just kind
of just feel the rumors that he was one of
Flice's clients, Like, I don't know why, Yeah, like, especially
because the stupidest part is this jackass did this and
he wasn't on anyone's radar as far as being connected
to her.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Yeah, nobody knew your name exactly.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Like a book that I read, the Hit and Run
book by Nancy Griffin. He wasn't a name, and like
you know, executives, they don't know their fucking names. Yeah,
of course until he did this, and then not to.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
Mention, not to mention, there's got to be other names
on that list who would far out shadow or outshine well,
just like nobody's going to be paying attention to his
name if they released the list.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Yeah, exactly, especially when he got a producer that like
shitting on women. So what's his name again, Michael Nathanson?

Speaker 3 (38:57):
Why I had already forgotten it exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
It was just weird because it was like, you didn't
need to do that. But I, like, I guess I
get why he did it. But by the way, he
did all this without telling anyone at Columbia about it,
and they were understandably pissed, which is why they ended
up conducting an internal investigation, which is what I think
they leaked it to the press that they were conducting
an internal investigation to find out if any funds were

(39:23):
used for like pretty much what they were being he
was being accused of.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
Yeah, yeah, gotcha, or what he said he was about
to be accused of, Yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
By the way, Howdie Flys denied rumors that he did
he was even a client, Like she said that in
a couple different in that same article like the day
after he announced it, because like the La Times article
that everyone was the day after. But it didn't help
that Nathan sid had been friends with Flye's former boyfriend,
whose name is Ivan Naggy for like ten years. Like Flyson,
Naggi even attended a party that Nathan said was throwing

(39:55):
or something like that where they were like obviously out
of place because it was a bunch of like execut
have Hollywood types.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (40:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
It also didn't help that he had kind of sort
of inadvertently hired Naggy as a producer for Columbia. I
guess he made a deal with a Nathanson made a
deal with the dude named Brad Wyman to produce movies
for Columbia, and Wyman's partner just happened to be Ivan Naggy.
Apparently there was a rumor, sorry, apparently the rumor was

(40:22):
was that Nathansen had allegedly compensated Naggie with the production
deal in exchange for Naggie providing Columbia with call.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
Girls and drugs. Jesus, So that's what he was.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
Trying to get ahead of. So there was one more.
There was Barry Josephson, who was I think the only
one that was single. So you know, I guess, I
mean that's a that's better. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
So there was a photo that was released by I
guess Naggi released a or leaked a photo to I
think the New York Post, But it was of Heidi
Fly's like book, and it had Barry Josephson's name and
number are in there, and then it also had written
misspelled up top. It was I think it was C

(41:05):
A N T I N can't oh what the question mark?

Speaker 4 (41:09):
Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
And this doesn't mean that the other Columbia executives weren't
aware what was going on, because, according to the Nancy
Griffin book, although they were not actually clients of Flies,
it seems like pretty much most of the Columbia's top
executives were at very at least partaking in the festivities
with these ladies of the night, Yeah, including Mark Kin
and John Peters, who were both married. And John Peters
apparently was like a huge which I know we haven't

(41:36):
mentioned before, but like, yeah, he worked. He he wasn't
working there at the time, but I know he was working.
He was like an executive at Columbia. Okay, John Peters
is the guy that what Batman and uh yeah, just
a guy that loves wants just really wants a spider
in something.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah, exactly that Kevin Smith tells that story about, yeah
that he just has to have a robot spider in
exactly and stuff.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
So yeah, Nathanson was replaced as president of production about
a week later by Jim Henson's daughter, which I just
found to be interesting. Your name is Lisa Henson and
was given another executive position at the studio.

Speaker 6 (42:13):
So he got replaced by that position, but was still
given a position like he wasn't kicking what are.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
You talking about. He's a white guy of course.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Exactly. By the way, Charlie Sheen was one of our
well known clients. Who else was on it? There was Oh, oh,
so Don Simpson, We ever heard that name?

Speaker 4 (42:32):
Yeah, it's Simpson and Bruckheimer exactly.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
So okay, so he used to He ended up dying
in like ninety seven. I think I looked it up
today and from like a cocaine over like a massive
heart attack from a cocaine overdose. Jesus, I read like
a profile and like some article and the guy fucking
just went hard partied.

Speaker 5 (42:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:50):
Yeah, he was mostly cocaine, but like by the end
of his career made out of cocaine. Yeah, but yeah,
so he uh was his partner at one time? It
was it is it just called Jerry Bruckheimer, like his
production studio. Oh yeah, I think it's just Bruckheimer now.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Okay, but yeah, so he produced a bunch of bigger movies,
including Top GM on, Beverly Hills, Cop, Bad Boys, and
The Rock. Anyway, but apparently he helped her pay for
her legal bills, so he's definitely definitely a client. And
then so what happened was there was another Columbia producer
named Steve Roth. He was hired by Columbia and he

(43:30):
had a deal with him. Yeah, but they didn't want
to renew his contract. Or whatever when it because it
was coming up. And apparently I think he said he
was a client or he used her services, which means
is a client, because he ends up admitting it. And
I think the book I read in a couple like
an article or whatever, he basically says, yes, I was
a client, but I did not use company money for that.

(43:53):
So he was a producer on last section Hero and
he's actually the one that found the movie and brought
it to CO.

Speaker 7 (44:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Oh, but they pretty much pushed him out right away
because Mark Canton wanted all the glory for himself or whatever,
so he pretty much got pushed out. It was like
a name only thing. He was like barely ever on
set or anything like that.

Speaker 4 (44:11):
Oh okay, got it.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
But they threw him into the bus, which just fucking
sucks for career wise. But yeah, so yeah, anyway, like
I said, nothing came of this internal investigation, like they
never reported what they found, especially because the buzz died
down right around the time, like a new story popped
up when people figured out that Michael Jackson really really
really likes kids allegedly allegedly really really likes kids. Sorry anyway,

(44:37):
so I want to move on check out some promo videos,
eh eh eh, Okay, so I couldn't really find many
good ones from last section Heroes released, so a few
of these are from random years, but they mostly take
place in the nineties.

Speaker 4 (44:51):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
And also I have so many videos that I've almost
kind of given up on doing deep searches on for
new ones because I have over one hundred videos in
just my YouTube watched last but we only have like
eight movies left. There are probably gonna be a lot
of random ones just throwing in there, because I'm fucking like,
this is my least favorite part of the of the
whole thing, because I have to sit there and watch
videos and it's always the same thing over and over

(45:14):
again when I'm watching videos for the movie, because they're
just repeating the same answers over and over again. Yeah, yeah,
because it's just a bunch of press junking videos, especially
the newer, like you get, the more you find it
the same thing. Yeah, And so I'm just like, I know,
they're just sitting there waiting for like some sort of gem.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
Out of like we're like something spontaneous exactly.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
But otherwise it's just I just I don't know, Anyway,
most of these are from the early onties. The first
one we're gonna start with is from April nineteen ninety one,
and it's actually related to what we were just talking about.
So it's a Haunts and fra on sketch, hands and frands,
whatever you want to say, from season sixteen of Saturday
Night Live, specifically episode eighteen, which aired April twentieth, nineteen
ninety one, and was hosted by a well known funny man,

(45:56):
Steven Seagal. Yes, and there's an Arnold related story about
this particular sketch, but let's check it out first.

Speaker 4 (46:04):
Okay, cool?

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Oh, now I kind of want to watch his monologue.
He's got a guitar.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
I don't think I've ever seen it, but I've only
ever heard like it's.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Yeah, this is like one of the worst episodes ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
because he's a he's a huge d bag and.

Speaker 4 (46:23):
A huge prick and like can't make fun of.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Himself exactly, which, well, there's no way that's not going
to come into play. But man, I found this and
it's like all the episodes.

Speaker 4 (46:33):
Was that the famous Tornado O'Connor one?

Speaker 2 (46:36):
I think there's only one of those, so probably. Yeah,
maybe maybe there's another one.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
Oh, you know what, I'm not even I'm not even
thinking of the famous one. I'm thinking of one that
aired after that where they made fun of her for it.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Oh No, the famous one was where she Yeah, she
ripped out the picture of the Pope, but they did.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
I don't know if it was that same season or
some later season, but they like they they parodied her.
They put her like they.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Like Joe Peshi or something like that.

Speaker 4 (47:01):
Yeah, it was Joe Pesci pet right, He's like, I
don't believe in the pope.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
You can do whatever he wants. See, that's how Petty talks, right, Definitely,
because I think she was going against abuse in the church.
That was a reason behind it.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
Yeah, it was something like that, and uh, pull.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
Out a picture of pope and I can't I can't
remember what happened anyway, she.

Speaker 4 (47:22):
Just tore it and people were It's so funny what
people used to be scandalized by.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
Yeah, definitely didn't think. God, that doesn't happen anymore.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Oh, and by the way, what we're gonna watch is
actually a shortened version of the sketch because it was
like the original sketch is almost five minutes long, and
I am not going to put you guys through that,
but yeah, a couple of minutes we're gonna watch is
enough to get you know, like the basic gist of it,
and also, uh so that the related story I have
for afterwards actually makes sense. Okay, cool, But if anybody
actually wants to watch the entire sketch, we can post

(47:55):
the link in the episode description, so just find it there. Yep. Anyway, Okay,
so uh here's this Yeah, that's that's my intro. Right there,
let's check it out.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
All right, welcome went back once again.

Speaker 9 (48:10):
I'm on and I'm France and we.

Speaker 11 (48:12):
Just want to bom yoh.

Speaker 9 (48:15):
All right, all right.

Speaker 11 (48:17):
The big news this summer is our cousin Arnold is
coming out with a new blockbuster action movie Surprises.

Speaker 9 (48:23):
Yeah you know that's like, you.

Speaker 13 (48:25):
Know, Arnold sure to beat out all the competition from
these other second rate action movie stars.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
All right.

Speaker 9 (48:31):
I did actually laughed to even compare them to Honor.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Look at me front, I'm laughing.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Yeah, yeah, we're laughing.

Speaker 11 (48:40):
What about this guy, Stephen sig You know, now we
believe me leter.

Speaker 9 (48:44):
I don't greatly rip Stephens, go skinning.

Speaker 8 (48:48):
You can use a gun, Flaws, that's right on waxm like,
oh god, I didn't see you.

Speaker 13 (48:58):
I got help over hearing you guys were saying.

Speaker 4 (49:01):
You know, oh you were so quiet.

Speaker 9 (49:02):
You know how long were your back? Then we were
just talking, you know.

Speaker 13 (49:06):
You know, look, fellas, let's not confuse the issue here.
I don't want to compare myself to these other stars.
They're great and everything like that, but what I do
is unique.

Speaker 5 (49:15):
Let's go.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
Yeah, yeah, I got a point. Yeah see I follow Zen.

Speaker 9 (49:23):
Oh yeah, yeah, sure, we know Zen.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
Yeah yeah. That's why first we lift the bar bells,
then we lift or not.

Speaker 9 (49:31):
No, no, and we are dumb. That's I don't think.

Speaker 13 (49:35):
You guys understand what I'm talking about. Maybe I could demonstrate.
I like to pull my little finger out and let
you guys push on it.

Speaker 10 (49:42):
Okay, well all right, okay, go all I push from
I'm pushing hugs.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
But Steven's baby for you guys.

Speaker 9 (49:51):
Too strong, it's super babything.

Speaker 4 (49:53):
Go fuck ah, that's very good. I'm value impressed, mister sake.

Speaker 9 (50:00):
Maybe we misjudge you.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Maybe I'm not a girl.

Speaker 6 (50:04):
Yeah, thanks, thank you, guys.

Speaker 13 (50:07):
Around just kind of remember the zen of things.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
All right, thank you. You know that's good.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
You know, Steven's pinky has taught us the great last
prom Okay. So it ends up with uh, Steven sacall
comes in, he gives them ship it. It ends up
with them daydreaming that little like daydreaming noise with our music.
Was them daydreaming about.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Like maybe they changed the show and imitates the call
instead of imitating.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Yeah, that's why they were talking like like.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
This like bad actors.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah yeah, and uh, them all dressed up like they
basically look like Schwarzenegger and Trimminder.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
Two but with ponytails.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Yeah, with black hair and ponytails.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
God, they are trying so hard to like make that
funny and insert jokes. And it's so clear that he
was just like, I don't know it. It just feels
so clear that he came in and he was like
like a again, wouldn't wouldn't let them make fun of him?

Speaker 8 (51:01):
Really?

Speaker 4 (51:02):
Yeah, and that'd be like he inserted the Zen bullshit exactly.
He just wants to talk about what he wants to
talk about.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Someone that follows in, he sure seems like kind of
a sour puss. But yeah, so Dana Carvey actually spoke
about this when he was on The Howard Stern Show
in twenty nineteen, specifically about dealing with Steven Sagall and
his problems with the sketch. Oh, so, he told Howard
Stern that the sketch originally made fun of Sagal a
lot more than what they then what we just saw.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
That would make sense. Then it would be funny like in.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
A way, like basically in the same way that they
do when they play those characters like how he is
his arms are so small and there's boothocks is not
fum like stuff like that. So anyway, So, Dana Carvey
says that they did the sketch at read through, which
I can't remember exactly, but I think happens on like
Tuesday or Wednesday something like that. I'm pretty sure it's Tuesday,
but I'm not one hundred percent on that. But do

(51:54):
you do you guys know what read through is?

Speaker 4 (51:56):
Correct?

Speaker 11 (51:57):
Erica?

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Yes, yes, okay, so sorry? Is this the table read?

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Yes?

Speaker 12 (52:03):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (52:03):
Table?

Speaker 2 (52:04):
So anyway, free If you don't know, the week leading
up to the live taping on Saturday is like non
stop working for the SNL. Basically everyone there. Yeah, exactly,
it's like pitching ideas as the host writing sketches, doing
the table read the read through. I'm pretty sure it's Tuesday,
but it might be Wednesday.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Yeah, mostly pretty early, because it's like the first time
the host is introduced to most of these sketches exactly.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Well, see again, I've read the book too, and I
think they go and they pitch the sketches and they
make sure that the sketches okay with the host, and
then they go and write them after that. But I'm
not positive on that either anyway, like rehearsals, dress rehearsal,
and a bunch of other stuff that I'm sure, like
I know it that I'm leaving out. So the table

(52:50):
read the read through is basically just the cast members
and the host sitting around a table and reading the
pitch sketches to see how they play yeah correct, yep,
and then from there they pick which ketches actually end
up making it on the live show. Well on the
the at least make it dress dress rehearsal, which is
the show before the live show, because they do two
in a row. Yeah, exactly, and I think they cut

(53:13):
some from there for sure.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
The dress rehearsal is always longer, and they always decide
where to cut sketches or if they need to move
sketches around or whatever. Basically because I think, especially in
dress rehearsal, you need to figure out like when does
all the set tear down and like the new sketch
setup happen all gotcha? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (53:31):
So yeah, anyway, Dana Carvey says that they did the
table read with Steven Sagall the way it was originally written,
because the host is at the table read with them
making fun of him a whole lot more, and Segal
just doesn't really react to it, like he reads it,
but it's just like, you know, yeah, but yeah, So
the sketch ends up getting picked up to be on
the show, and he says that they're rehearsing it on Thursday.

(53:54):
So that's why I was like, it's got to be
It's gotta be Tuesday, Yeah for sure. But anyway, so,
uh so, yeah, it gets picked and they're rehearsing it
on Thursday before the show and Sigall just like walks
off in the middle of the rehearsal.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
Oh Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
So Dana Carvey says that he goes over to check
on on Steven Sagall and asks if he's okay, and
Sigall's response was, I just wish Arnold was here so
I could kick his fucking ass.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
Okay, Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
He says that he does this while he's like so basically,
Dana Carvey says that he walks up to him and
he's like, Steven Scall doesn't even look at me. He
just he's looking straight ahead, and he says, he says
it so he was just like looking off and pondering,
like I just wish he was like looking down, like
I just wish he was here so I could just
kick his fucking ass. It's just like fantasizing like a
nine year old boy, exactly, God, exactly, which is what

(54:43):
they bring up on Edwards. So Dana Carvey says that
he tries to explain to him that they weren't actually
making fun of him, that the whole gag is that
the two characters are just a couple of fucking idiots
and that they worship Arnold, right, But Howard turns like
he doesn't get it. He didn't get it. He just
we had to rerete the sketch. Yeah, So he wasn't

(55:04):
happy about it. So they ended up rewriting the sketch
so that basically it basically comes off as like the
only person stronger than Arnold is Steven Sagall.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Yeah, holy shit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Carvey then says that six months later he ran into
Arnold at a restaurant in Los Angeles and told he
tells him what happens, and that, uh, Stevens. He's like,
Steven Scott wants to kick your ass. He was like
talking about kicking your Yeah. Well, He's just like, I
don't know, He's like Steven Sagatt was talking about kicking
your ass. Apparently Arnold just kind of like lean back.

(55:35):
He had an entourage. He was like sitting in a
booth or something like that. He leaned back. He is
took in his hand.

Speaker 4 (55:39):
He's like, is that a fact?

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Like brushing it off basically of course, exactly like you
just like blew it up.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
I just like how Arnold didn't even get like baited
into it. He's like, no, no, okay, whatever, dude, Like.

Speaker 4 (55:55):
Yeah, the dude's like eighty Hollywood levels beneath it, Like,
dudely can't get within five hundred yards of him, right,
Like are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Anyway? Okay, moving on, And I'm not sure if I'm
gonna actually include this one, but it's interesting and it's
actually for the movie. It's a nineteen ninety three interview
that John mciernan did with their good friend Bobby Wygant,
who just always seems like such a sweetheart during aeronviews,
Like she always just seems like, this is such a
nice lady, which is definitely not gonna come into play
for this interview anyway. We're gonna watch her reaction because

(56:27):
the good thing about the Bobby Wygant interviews is that,
I mean, the way the interviews are shot that you
have a camera on the person they're interviewing, and they
have the camera on the interviewer. So the good thing
about him is they play the first one, which is
the one from the person being interviewed, and then afterwards
it's all her, like the shots of like her whatever. Anyway,

(56:48):
So she's interviewing him, and I'm assuming during their press
junket that they're doing for the movie. Yeah, and she
continues to like express her amazement at just how short
the whole production process was, like from start to finish.
Oh God, she doesn't want it once and I think
we're going to catch like the last one, and his
reaction kind of gives you a it's like a irritation,
but it's like a hint of just like a broken man.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Yeah, that sounds sad.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
I mean you would think so, but then we'll see.

Speaker 5 (57:18):
So you had nine months then for pre production, for shooting,
and for post production. But even so a film in two.

Speaker 7 (57:25):
Weeks, so that is to make prints I actually had.

Speaker 5 (57:29):
Yeah, it's just amazing to me that a film of
this scope could be done in that time. Did you
feel tremendous pressure thinking I can't do it in this
length of time or how did you react?

Speaker 1 (57:43):
No?

Speaker 7 (57:43):
I felt that I wouldn't have taken it on. It's
a making movies is a nearly antique production process. I mean,
the last time anybody analyzed the damn thing that work,
there was a hole in the front of an automobile
to stick the cranking.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Sorry. Remember, positive has just to look in her face
the whole time, is like okay, and so I can
definitely get because he gives her a look like are
you gonna say anything?

Speaker 12 (58:10):
Like what was it?

Speaker 5 (58:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (58:11):
Yeah, but so here's the thing. I think she's trying
to be sympathetic yes, And I think what she really
wants is for him to talk shit about the studio. Yes,
And he's not gonna do that because he's fucking on
a press tour for his movie that is being released
by the studio and he'd like to work again. But
she really I think what she's trying to do is

(58:32):
like give him an out, yes, so he can't.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Take well because at this point, like she's nice enough
not to mention that the movie's been shipped on already
bunch by the press, because almost every interview I can't
remember she does it, but almost every single interview with
Arnold about this movie mentions that, yeah, like you guys
have been getting a beating. Yeah exactly, because like he
was on the Today there's a Today Show interview which

(58:57):
the first thing off the top is Brian Gummy mentioning like,
you guys have really been like and he just kind
of brushes it off.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
Yeah, but yeah, so.

Speaker 7 (59:05):
That's not hyperbole. I mean the process was really fixed
in the nineteen forties and no one has really changed
it or even analyzed it much since. So what we
did was really the same sort of thing that you
know is Japanese justin time production and inventory control and
that sort of stuff. We went through and we analyzed
the process work backwards from Okay, it's supposed to be

(59:29):
in the theaters on such and such a day, it
takes so many days to produce the prints. It'll take
so many days to do this. We worked a schedule
backwards which told us how many days what day we
had to start shooting the movie. And that sounds cold
and calculated.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
It also sounds like he's kind of sorry posit again.
It also sounds like he's kind of waiting for her
to like ask another question. Yeah, he desperately wants her
to be long, like, but you just let him talk. Yeah,
But like he's clearly like again, pres chunkins are fucking exhausting. Yeah,
I mean, you have to do the same interview over
and over again. You have to give different like, you
have to try and give unique answers, but you just

(01:00:09):
can't because everybody's asking the same questions. But also we've
talked about throughout this entire production process how he had
a bad time.

Speaker 7 (01:00:18):
In this movie.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
He had a really bad time, and she's sitting here
confronting him about how terrible his time was on this movie.
I mean he clearly no, I don't mean confronting him
in a mean way, but she's bringing it up, yeah yeah,
making him focus on it, and he clearly is like,
I don't want to talk about this. I hated this.
Let's talk about something else. Can you ask me how

(01:00:42):
nice Austin O'Brien is or some shit. Please, for the
love of God, can you ask me how fun it
is to see things explode? Because christ I never want
to think about this movie again.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Yeah, pretty much?

Speaker 7 (01:00:56):
Okay, uh, cold and calculating, except this is an economic activity.
It's it's a lot better to organize than it is
to just sort of go in and scratch your head
and say, well, we'll try to work real fast and hurry.

(01:01:17):
What we did is we collapse the the normal post
production time, which is normally six months or twenty six weeks,
and we reduced it to ten weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Wait all right, yes, yep, that little that little head
flick is really funny. Just from the other side.

Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah, it's when he was like, okay, like it's more
of like a are you gonna say something?

Speaker 6 (01:01:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Yeah, it's like like you just exactly. It just seems
irritated and like she just said there kind of she
said there kind of listening, but she looks like she's
analyzing them too, like yeah, she's kind of like got
to look like, uh, are you okay? Like because like
that's I just feel like.

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
She's like, are you going to say anything meaningful about
what you're talking about? Or are you just going to
give me the driest description of how movies are made?

Speaker 12 (01:02:11):
Right now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Okay, it's just you know, it's.

Speaker 5 (01:02:16):
Just inconceivable to me that all of this was done
in that span of time. Anyway, let's move on.

Speaker 7 (01:02:22):
I can show you all of it. I mean, we
had days worth of meetings and flow charts and industrial
management consultants.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
And Okay, he got his out, but o't he didn't
go back into it. So that was kind of his
fault because then she's like, all right, he want to
do which is great because he probably does want to
bitch about it.

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
That's what I'm saying, though. I think she just his way.
I think she's waiting for him to say anything of substance,
and he's like, you don't understand if I let out
anything of substance, I will murder everyone in this room.
You don't understand, I'm going to blow up my entire
career if you actually make me say things that I believe.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
He's kind of being a dick about it, like kind
but like you can tell, he's like just fucking over it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
Nothing he said was really funny. I laughed a lot
during that, but that's because it's awkward. No, it's because
he's describing an entirely joyless process, Like the way he
describes the movie. Like he even says it sounds cold.
But it doesn't just sound cold. It sounds like this
movie drained his soul. It sounds like he doesn't want

(01:03:32):
to make movies anymore. He's just like, well, I guess
this is what I do now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
It sounds like a guy that needs to take a
year off to do the hay basically, yeah, exactly. All right, Well,
that's a John mctiernan's interview with Bobby Wygant.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
That's John mcteernan's therapy session.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
With Okay, So anyway, the next video is actually sort
of a callback to our prewatch episode, and it's a
nineteen ninety two Inner Tonight's segment covering Arnold's directorial debut
film Christmas in Connecticut, which was a TV movie which
I think we mentioned before, starring Diane Cannon and Chris
Christofferson that will aired on TNT. And the segment's only

(01:04:13):
like two minutes long because it's Entertainment Tonight, but it's
long enough to give you a sense of Arnold's directing technique.
For instance, there's a quick shot of Arnold in action
looking through the lens the camera lens while saying.

Speaker 14 (01:04:25):
Okay, now kiss he.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
I'm like, that's directing right there. Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
So anyway, the specific part I want to show you
guys takes place about a minute in and it's when
Diane Cannon and Chris Christofferson are talking about how it
was working with Arnold the director.

Speaker 9 (01:04:42):
Both Cannon and Christofferson have nothing but kudos for their director.

Speaker 7 (01:04:47):
His instincts are really good.

Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
And when I disagree with him, I tell him, or
if I have another idea, I put it out there,
and more than not, he'll say, let's go for it.

Speaker 9 (01:04:57):
To get a sense of int ofacy is going to
be a real challenge.

Speaker 12 (01:05:00):
Yeah, you'll come up and tell me directly what I'm
doing wrong, you know, And a lot of people are
afraid to do that. But he'll just come home and say,
you're looking at Diane as if you want to take
her in the woods and kill her.

Speaker 9 (01:05:16):
Okay, that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
And you know that really happened because the way Christostopson
laughs afterwards.

Speaker 4 (01:05:24):
Because it's like, that's the funniest note I've ever gotten, looking.

Speaker 14 (01:05:28):
At Dan Kennon, like you want to take her on
the woods in quila. You need to look good, look
you love her. He's cracking up afterwards. He really said
he said that, He really said that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
Sorry, Okay, Uh, that's uh that that's the last one
I got right there. So uh, that's it for the
clips and production stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:05:59):
All right. Well, since that wraps up all the production
and promotion and everything else, I think we'll be back
next episode and starting the summary so you can join
us next time. Thanks again, Erica for joining us. Thanks guys,
and yeah, and I guess there's really just one thing
left to say, which is Joe, we miss you and

(01:06:20):
we hope you finish the game very soon.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
As he false to the roof for now, Yes, shit,
I forgot.

Speaker 4 (01:06:28):
The giant airbag. If you enjoy our show, please consider
giving us a positive review on Apple Podcasts or your
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and Instagram at the Potty Richter to make sure you
never miss an episode. See You with the Potty Richter

(01:06:48):
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Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
This has been a tape Deck Media production.

Speaker 9 (01:07:01):
Thank you for listening.