June 17, 2024 • 43 mins
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What a Woman Can Do For A Successful Marriage / Relationship
Guest: Romesa Wilson
✅ Get access - our FREE resources for couples are designed to help effective communication in marriage, resolve marriage issues, & build stronger connections (articles, videos, and interactive tools) here: https://trishaandthomas.com/free-resources/
🔸Empowering Marriages and Ministering Together: A Conversation with Romisa Wilson
This script captures a heartfelt and insightful discussion between hosts Trisha and Thomas Walker and their guest Romesa Wilson, founder and minister of 'Desperately Seeking Jesus.' Romesa shares her journey of prayer and ministry, particularly how it has strengthened her marriage and family life. She recounts the evolution of her ministry, from prayer calls to organizing women's retreats and the impact of these gatherings. The discussion also covers the importance of communication, serving each other in marriage, and the power of viewing one's spouse as a gift from God. Through personal anecdotes, Romesa offers wisdom on overcoming challenges in marriage with faith, prayer, and the support of one's partner. The dialogue is a blend of personal testimony, spiritual encouragement, and practical advice for nurturing a God-centered marriage.
See more about Romesa here: https://www.instagram.com/romesawilson/?hl=en
We are Trisha and Thomas Walker, licensed ministers, relationship coaches, & prayer counselors where we teach couples how to deepen their relationship with each other and with God. This is the Seeds For Your Marriage podcast where we share biblical wisdom and practical advice on building a strong, healthy, and fulfilling marriage rooted in faith. These marriage stories are to inspire you and give you a deeper understanding of God's design for marriage and steps to having a Christ-centered and thriving family.
For more visit:
https://trishaandthomas.com/podcast/
Learn about Trisha and Thomas Walker and their ministry, LGLP Ministries, Inc, visit:
https://trishaandthomas.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:29):
So we're Triciaand Thomas Walker
This is from Romesa WilsonShe is a dear friend of mine
and she believes in ministrycalled desperately Seeking
Jesus She does prayer everand we'll all let you tell more
about what you do with thatBut essentially how
we just started doing thiswas that during COVID,
the Lord just started telling methat we needed
(00:49):
to share our testimoniesand we started doing some
things onlineAnd we are about to
be hosting a marriage retreatin the San Francisco Bay Area
in February 2023And the Lord told me,
Now it's time to startgetting others testimonies
of a married couplecouples Their testimonies,
(01:11):
And so we're praying about itI just I just really wanted to,
Romi said, share her storyand her testimony on
just her life,her marriage, her family
So we're so welcomeAnd thank you for having me here
Oh, excited to be a part ofjust excited
to be a part of it and just,you know, honest I'm thankful
(01:33):
to God that I can shareYou know, a lot of times
when you're walkingthrough a journey of marriage,
there's moments inyour marriage like
that Is there going to be atestimony out of this text?
Is there going to bea mess out of this mess?
Yeah Oh, my God Oh, LordBut I'm thankful for that
God's like, yeah,there's a message
(01:54):
that came out of that messThere's a
testimony that came outof that test And, you know,
he gets all the glory for itAll of it I won't take credit
And I know my husbandwon't take credit,
and I just wantto honor my husband right now
He's out working Thank you,Jesus, that he has employment
because we've walkedthrough unemployment
(02:15):
in our marriage But I'm thankfulAnd he's at work But we're one,
so I know whatever I share, he'sin total agreement
But I just want tohonor my husband
and thank God for himAnd honestly, you know,
everything that I do, I wouldn'thonestly be able to do
ministry and workand all the things
that I'm able to dowithout my partner in life,
(02:38):
Christian Wilson He'san incredible man,
a man of faith, and I'mjust blessed to be his wife
So thanks for having me, guysYou're welcome
So can you just tell mebriefly what you do
desperately seeking, SusanDesperately Well,
where did that come?
Well, there's a story about thatWell, you know,
(02:59):
what's so funny is,you know the Lord
So I loved that moviegrowing up in the eighties
You know, I love that movieAnd I remember
just thinking, God, what is thisthat you're cultivating
in my life?
And with prayerand just this place of going,
getting up every morningAnd honestly, it was a journey
(03:20):
It was really because ofmy marriage God had invited me
into a place of prayerand intercession for my marriage
Now, about eight years ago,he told me to get up
every morning and I didAnd I first started in prayer
just seeking the Lord And as itkept going, I'm like,
God, I'm just desperateto see change I'm desperate
(03:40):
to see somethingwithin my marriage
and within my familyThat's kind of the
birth of the ministryIt was desperately seeking
Jesus not seeing them, but JesusAnd it started there, me
crying out to the LordAnd then I had an opportunity
through a local churchto host a small group
And one of the thingsthat the pastor had
(04:02):
said was invite people into what
you're already doing Well,that's what I was doing
every day, wasgetting up every morning
and just praying and seekingthe Lord And I would worship
and I would just read the BibleAnd so and also, you know,
being someone who works commute,I was commuting at the time,
(04:22):
I really wanted to be ableto participate in a group,
but I just didn't knowhow I was going to do that
And so I knew I was supposedto invite other
people into this,what God was doing
and cultivating in meI just didn't know how
it was all going to happenAnd I remember
being away on a worktrip in a hotel room
and the Lord said,Do a conference call
(04:43):
And I'm like, okay And that'swhat I did I just looked into
how do I do a conference call?
Because at that time,Zoom wasn't like a big thing,
you know, eight years agoand you think about it
So it was like,how can I do this on the go?
Or, you know,get people from all over
just to log in?
And it was like,do a conference call
(05:04):
So that's what I didAnd we're here now, eight years
later, going after Godevery morning, Monday
through Friday, 6 am to 630,we have seen miracles,
signs, wonders on the phone lineIt literally
is one of those thingswhere women will come
from all overGod actually spoke to me
(05:24):
He said this is going to be anational ministry
And then all of a suddenthere'll be women
logging in from Georgia,Arizona, Washington, Alaska,
just you name itAnd I'm like, wow, God,
this is incredibleAnd then he began to show me
that there's there wasa need on the line for more
for usto come together and connect
(05:46):
And so that's when he startedbirthing the retreat So we would
then go every year to SouthLake Tahoe for a retreat
because we always wouldhear each other on the phone,
but we never reallysaw each other
And so here we are this weekendWe're going to our seventh year
retreat, South Lake TahoeThere's 40 women going up
(06:07):
desperately seeking JesusAnd he meets us every time
And so I'm just so thankfulfor this ministry because even
during the pandemic, I thought,okay, God,
I don't think you want meto do this anymore
I think it's overBut God said, No,
I want you to keep goingbecause it's
not your ministry, it's mineAnd there are people
who are desperate,least seeking me
and they need thisAnd what I love is that
(06:29):
I'll have people reach out to meand they'll say, You know,
I was really needinga word from the Lord,
and I just log that numberand you were on there
You were just on there like,they're surprised
you're still on thereYou haven't stopped,
you're consistentAnd I think that that's been
just the beautiful thingthat God has done,
is he just says,I want you to do this
(06:49):
This is your assignmentin your life
So so when he said, just justin listening to that,
like so good and I have somany questions already,
but I just have one follow upand it's kind of a plug,
but not really, because it doesrelate to marriages
And we're doing the retreatin February throughout 2023,
and you've done itfor seven years for women
(07:12):
Can you just talk aboutthe importance of retreats
and setting aside time?
Yeah, it's interestingbecause when I sent out
the email to the womena few days ago,
a secondary email, I said,This is not a vacation
This is not a girls getaway,this is an encounter
(07:33):
And that's the importanceof setting aside
the time Well, we're busyWe've got so many different
things Kids work bills,just you know how it is
when you're marriedIt's just like, go, go, go
And I think even just as women,but I mean, as a married
(07:55):
couple, imagine justgoing away and focusing
in on each otherand focusing on God,
What a blessing that isI just think of it
like when the Bible talksabout several times,
Jesus would go away to prayHe would have you walk on water
or he'd have miracles orjust different
(08:16):
things that happenedBut he would consist
only go away And so, yeah,and that was something
that he was showing usin those moments of
this is important,rest is important,
Sabbath is importantYou have to get away
from all the things,the responsibilities,
(08:37):
and you have to goand be with the father
And there's a blessing in thatevery time In fact,
the disciples got to seeexactly what happened
when Jesus would go away,they saw him what transfigured
they got to see him changebecause he was actually away
with the fatherThey got a glimpse
of what happens when we go awaywith the Lord
(08:58):
and spend time with themAnd we're so intentional
We're like, I just want JesusI only want you
And that's what we doWe just get there
and we just go afterJesus the entire weekend
And sometimes we forget to eat,sometimes we don't sleep,
we just go after the LordAnd it's absolutely incredible
Like when we come back,we're change We are not the same
(09:19):
So I would just sayfor your retreat,
there is a blessing,especially when you get to do it
with your spouseWhat an incredible blessing
that will be to just saywe're going away together
and this is not like a vacationWe're trying
to get away from the kidsLike, no, we're going
and we're goingafter Jesus together Right?
(09:40):
And I think that's awesomeYeah, that's awesome
So it's important YeahWell, I like what you said
about being intentionalbecause I think this is why
a retreat has just beenplaced on our heart
for so long Thoughthe Lord has said you're going
to be doing retreatsand we've been a part,
we've been invitedto be a part of different
(10:00):
retreats, maybe co-hostingor whatever But, you know,
he said this is going to besomething that we do because
even early in our marriage,like the first year
we were married,married, we were in, you know,
we went to a marriage retreatand I just
was just like so blown awayAnd just the things
that I was learningthat I never heard before Right
(10:22):
And because you go to church,you do different things And then
a lot of the messagesare tailored to a married couple
will be real aboutbeing in the church It's
like how many churches are realabout where you are
in your marriage?
Well, you know, so these thingsbecome really, really important
to find those safe spaceswhere you can Yes, authentic
(10:46):
and really presentAnd that's what it is,
I think aboutjust the women that come
They can be real,they can be authentic,
they can be vulnerable,and they realize, hey,
I'm not alone Right That sistersgoing through that
or that sister overcame thatAnd I can get through that, too
(11:07):
So that's where theythey're able
to have so much victoryand freedom And when the women
that I invite to come and speaklike they share their testimony
Right So they share you know,we've had
some powerful testimoniescome out of these retreats
and women hear thatand they're like, wow,
I didn't know thatlooking at hers,
(11:30):
she was going through thator she dealt with that
But I also dealt with thatSo now I can get my break
through, tooThere's power in the task
So good It's so good to knowthat you're not alone,
because that'sone of the first things we let
people know when wecoach couples is
your relationshipisn't broken It is
now You may be in a placewhere you're challenged,
(11:52):
but the responseis more important than that
and what we do with itand how we handle it
and walk through it togetherAnd so that's kind of
my next question for you,because you said something
about giving your ministryto God and God, letting you know
that your ministry is hisI'm going to venture
to move beyond my next question,which is
(12:13):
I'm sure you and Christianare saying, God,
our marriage is yoursand it's not ours
We get to collaborate on it,but it's his marriage
He put it togetherHe's going to prosper it
Yeah So can you just I kind ofwant to get to overcoming And
can you think of a timein your marriage
where it was challengingand just maybe some
(12:37):
how you walk through itto the extent you can share
what you walk through andand just some lessons learned
through thosethrough some of those seasons
Yeah, well, I totally agreeYou know,
God brought us togetherWe met actually in retail
in San Francisco at the Gapand Christian was my trainer
(12:58):
for the first day, taught mehow to fold sweaters
and 20 years later,here we are We we never knew
that to crazy kids You know,I wasn't saying
he was insane, but God justdid something radical in us
and I got saved and was on firefor the Lord In my job
He was like,What happened to you?
(13:20):
And I want to know about thatAnd in that relationship
of me witnessing to him,God birthed that relationship
So he did thatGod brought us together
and we haven't been apartsince that first moment
And I think in our marriagewe just celebrated
20 years of marriageSo thank you, Jesus
(13:40):
But we had challengesand we've had
to overcome some things I thinkthe biggest thing was, you know,
when my mom was ill,my mom was sick,
and I had a kind ofa stress relationship
with my mom over the yearsBut in that moment,
she needed meAnd it was actually
my husband who had suggested,bring your mom to the house,
(14:04):
let your mom come and let'slet's take care of your mom
And we did that,but we didn't realize
that that wouldtest our marriage
We didn't realize thatthat was going to be hard
It was a hard season becausewe had to sacrifice
She had Alzheimer's,so she needed care So my husband
had to sacrifice He had to gofrom working full time
(14:26):
to working part timeHe had to help make breakfast
and we had to get her upand get her to bed And we had to
do thingsthat he probably didn't
want to seefrom his mother in law But
we did that and our marriagehas been strong
But that was a hard seasonbecause there were moments
when he didn't feel valuedThere were moments
(14:49):
when it was hard for me,and then the Lord decided
in the midst of thatto just expand the ministry
I was just on the phonedoing the prayer line,
and then all of a suddenpeople would say, Can you come
speak at my ministry?
Can you come do this?
Then the Lord said,I want you to do a podcast
And all of a suddenall these things
started happeningand I felt like,
(15:09):
How can I do thisin this season?
But God's that I'm doing thisin this season for purpose
But it was hardbecause of course
it's like, Well,I need you here now
You can't go thereAnd it was like,
But God is asking me to do thisAnd so we were having this
just challenge in our marriageAnd I remember spending a lot
(15:29):
of time in prayerbecause I felt like this is not
something in the natural this isthis is something
that's happeningin the spirit and and we know
that we're going to goafter something The spirit
We got to fight it on our kneesWe can't we don't fight against
flesh and bloodAnd we were finding
that we were goingafter each other
on different topics,whether it be finances
(15:51):
or just whatever it wasand just time and things
that we needed in the kidsIt's like,
okay, this is this is notthis is not natural
This is a spiritual thingAnd we need to fight this
together on our knees And somy husband says, Why don't we
lead a Bible study together?
So in the midst of all of that,my mom's living in the house
(16:14):
She has Alzheimer'sShe's on medication for that
She's having episodesI mean, it was crazy
We're having to call the policebecause she'll just
get out of the houseIt was just wild
My husband says,Let's have a Bible study
in our house, like,Oh, man, here we go
And the Lord didsomething in that
because the Bible studywas called spiritual roots
(16:38):
And my husband's very passionateabout the word of God,
specifically going backinto our Hebrew roots And so,
you know,he was sharing every night
about that, and we were goingdeep in the word of the Lord
I used to tellpeople would have to put on
snorkeling gearbecause we were going real deep
into the word of the LordAnd my husband's
passionate about the addedIt was a beautiful season, but
(17:02):
God was like, in this,I want you to
continue to do thisI want you to pray I want you to
minister togetherI want you to connect
I want you to believe meand have faith
And I'm telling you,it wasn't easy It was some hard
times You know,we'd be in the middle
of the Bible studyMy mom would be calling out
for us, you know,things like that,
(17:22):
because she didn't really knowwhat was happening
But we perseveredAnd I remember one night
we were serving ourit was like a serve week,
and we decidedto serve our small group
by washing their feetAnd my husband
and I began to washthe feet of the people
(17:43):
at the small group,and the Lord just spoke to me
He said,This was why I did that,
because I wantedyou guys to come together as one
and I wanted you to understandyou serve one another
and that's what you're doingAnd in that moment,
I realized thatthat is what I'm to do
(18:04):
as his wife,We I serve my husband
and then he serves meHe was showing me
And as we beganto get this revelation,
it just seemed like thatburden got less and less
And I remember a husbandtold me one day,
he said, you know, I was prayingand the Lord told me,
your mom is a giftMom And I'm like, What?
(18:28):
What?
We didn't realize thateight months later,
the mom's healthstarted declining and she passed
And on the nightthat my mom passed,
right before that,she was in hospice
care in the houseand she was fading And I was
my husband says he looks at me,he's like,
you're going to need to goand you need to say
(18:49):
goodbye to your momAnd I was like, I can't do it
I can't do it And he said,We're going to do it together
And we went in the roomand the Lord took her
and we were togetherMy husband was standing
at the foot of the bedpraying over her,
and I was at her feet,praying for her again
(19:09):
God showed meyou're serving one another
Yeah And that's what it meansin the marriage You
serve one another And in thosemoments, that's
how you overcome Yeah,because we can be so focused
on the probleminstead of thinking
about each otherand serving, like,
What can I help you with?
(19:29):
What can I do for you?
How can I make iteasier for you?
How can I so it was likewe just started to learn that
through that seasonand support one another
My husband's beenmy biggest supporter
That's awesome I've been hisbiggest supporter Yeah,
we just learned through thatThat's beautiful, you know?
I love thatAnd I just have a question
(19:51):
that I have so many questions,but we're going
to get you out here on timelike we were committed
But Romi, So this is good Sowe might have
to do a part two Go aheadand let me
set that up right now OkaySo when we're
serving each other, let's saywe have expectations about what
we're going to get back or,or the heart
(20:15):
position when we're servingIt's a conditional serving,
right?
I'm serving youbecause I am expecting
that you are goingto do this thing for me,
but then that thingdoesn't happen
Can you just go into that onea little bit?
Yeah, That's realYeah, it's real It's so real
But you know what God told meabout that in a season
(20:38):
when I was just prayingfor my husband and, you know,
the Lord told me he said,the way
that you ministered to peoplethat you don't even know
is the way you should beministering to
your husband at home is like,think about that
Like a stranger on the streetI'm giving them food, I'm
giving them money,I'm praying over them,
(20:59):
I'm prophesying, I'mcalling out the treasure
But I'm not doing thatfor my husband, you know?
And the Lord just beganto speak to me about that's
how you serve your spouse,is that you call out
the treasure,You speak those things
as if they were You'retheir cheerleader
You're the support,and you're not expecting
anything in return You'rejust being obedient to the Lord
(21:23):
So maybe it's a textHey, I just want you to know
I love you, babeI appreciate you Thank you
Or it's a scriptureor it's a song I remember when,
after my mom passed, was goingthrough a tough time
with the family over financesMy husband sent me a song
to minister to mein that moment, and that song
(21:43):
brought me breakthroughbecause I was hurting
and in pain But he didn'twant anything in
return He was just serving meAnd then in turn, and we
just keep doing thiswith each other and we're not
expecting anythingWe're just being obedient
to the Lord And that'swhy it's important to us
as married couples that you praynot just together,
but even separatelyto hear from the Lord
(22:06):
because the Lord will beginto tell you how to minister
to your spouse and how to prayBut he he told me straight
He's like, the way you do thatto other people on the street
Your first ministry is youryour home
So you should be doing thatto your family
And so I learned thatmy family is my first ministry
Tricia knows there's timeswhen I'll be go here,
(22:26):
go there, and I'llsay, I can't go because I got to
be with my familyAnd I have learned I don't even
have to apologize about thatYeah, because that's my I'm
serving my family,especially knowing
my husband's loveLanguage is quality time
I need to be thereHe writes me there, you know,
And thank Godafter 20 years, honey,
(22:48):
he just wants me around,you know?
But your languageis bonding time You didn't know
we I thinkyou want to hang out there,
but Yeah, but that'swhat I've learned is, like,
I'm not I don't need anythingin return I just want to bless
my husband, just like I'mdoing in ministry
(23:08):
with these women on the boatGo into town
like I can bless my husbandJust to say, you know,
I'm not expectinganything from these women,
but I'm just serving RightReally, really good Well,
I like what you said You saidby serving each other
that you've overcome that Andit just made me
think of the scripturethat we overcome
by the blood of the lamband the word of our testimony
(23:30):
And it just sounds likejust from when you like, over
these last 20 yearsthat you've all been married,
you know, he didn't knowor when you first met
And, you know, there's a growthprocess, right?
There's a growth processwhen you first get saved
or you first just,you know, decide I'm
going to oh, Lord,there is a process Yeah So how
would you say thatthe obedience to the Lord
and just how is all of thatthat you're talking about helped
(23:53):
the both of you, even him,to be able to allow you all
to just overcome and toand to just
really grow together?
Yeah The mirrordid not grow apart
Yeah And I think, you know,I think here's the thing Like
there was a seasonin our marriage
where I'll be honest, like,I was on fire for the Lord and,
you know,my husband was just growing,
(24:14):
you know, he's just growingand trying to figure out
everything And, you know,I would get frustrated
sometimes because he wasn'twhere I was And I'm you know,
he was kind of like,okay, you doing too much?
And the Lord just beganto speak to us both about we're
each on a journey, right?
His journey with theLord is different
(24:35):
from my journey with the LordAlthough we're together,
we're not going to experiencethe Lord the same way
We're not going to hear himthe same way
We're both differentThat speaks to me differently
That speaks to himdifferently When I worship,
I do one thing my husband,and that's okay because we're
both on a journey with the Lord,and that's one of the things
(24:57):
God had to show meRespect the journey
that each one of you are onright?
And thenthe Lord began to say to me,
Rumi said, Beginto pray for your spouse
and ask for the Holy Spiritto do the work because you
are not the Holy Spirit Likeyou have to tell me
You need to getout of the way We live here
(25:21):
Let me do what I do bestYou just pray You just pray
And you believe thatI will do what I said I would do
Because what I promisefor Christian is the same
I promise for you,I'm no respecter
He will encounter meHe will experience me
He's on a journeyAnd I'll never forget
My husband's a mountain bikerHe loves to go
(25:41):
up in the mountainsand ride his bike
One day he came homeHe said, Babe, God spoke to me
I'm like, Oh, he did itAnd he said, Yes
And what he told me,he said that
we need to be equally yokedAnd so again, I was like,
Look at the Holy Spirit,because I was just letting God
(26:03):
do what he doesHe's on the journey
and God spoke to him and beganto give him revelation
And from that momenton, my husband
has just been so on fireHe just began to go
into his wordand just go on the journey
with the Lord It wasn't meAnd if I could even encourage
there's women that have husbandsthat they're like that
(26:25):
I wish he was like my pastor,you know,
I wish you could be a deaconListen, your husband,
God, ministersto your husband, you know,
you just let him do itIt's it's in God's timing
He's on a journeyOur responsibility as what?
Just pray and even vise versaIf husbands
(26:45):
your wife isn't there, just prayGod will meet them
Because we have thatpromise in the world when one is
saved in the householdall out of faith Right?
So they're under the coveringin the household
and you just believe Godand he will do that
So my husband,I have grown together
in the journey We've grownAnd he's just he's
(27:07):
seen my growthand I've seen his growth
and we celebrated each otherAnd one of our best things to do
is talk about the BibleWe'll be driving on a road trip
and I'll be like,What do you think about this?
And then here we goWe just go back and forth, back,
and that's somethingwe love to do
And I believe the Lord ispleased by that
because he gives this,you know, revelation on it,
(27:30):
and I'll get my revelation on itAnd we're on a journey
Each one of us, you know,we're not competing
We're not trying toit's not a sprint,
you know, it's a marathonAnd we're just walking it out
with JesusAnd at the end of the day,
what we have foundis it's really about our seat
It's about our children, Right?
What are our childrenseeing from their parents
(27:52):
as we're going on the journeyto show them what it means
to live for Christ?
Amen Soand this is what marriage
was doing So you just hitand we're getting close to
the heart tostay tuned, everyone
that's coming So I'm pleasedthat we talk about Tricia
and I have a model of frameworkthat we believe in called
(28:14):
the Seven Seasof Collaborative Marriage
And you've hit on a numberof them today, maybe knowingly
or unknowingly, that you did onthe most recent
When you talk aboutcelebrating each other over
we don't do that enoughcelebrate
And it's the small thingsthat actually can yield
(28:35):
big resultsBut there's one see that
is probably the most common Seethat is the derail of marriage
communication,healthy communication
Is that an areathat you and Christian
have had to work onas well is the way that you
how you relateand walk with each other
(28:56):
and just maybeas the last question,
just some thoughtsabout that, right?
Just how you communicateYeah, I think
we're different I mean,we communicate differently
And I thinkwhat we've learned over
the years is that that's okayBut we have
the common goal, right?
(29:18):
So we maycommunicate differently,
but we have the same goalAnd so how do we get to
that goal?
How do we bring it to the table?
And I thinkwe always just go back to the
the beginning oflike we were friends
before we were anythingAnd so we just bring it back
to that place of communicationas friends, you know,
and then husband and wifeAnd I think what I've learned
(29:41):
is to be a really good listenerAnd yeah,
because I think, you know,sometimes in communication
we always want to go Butbut I would communicate from
a place of offenseand it was bad Like my
husband couldrarely give me anything
because I'd be offendedand the Lord had to show me
(30:04):
that's a spirit of fixAnd you need to work on that
because you know anythingI mean anything he'd say,
I just would be offendedSo I had to constantly
feel like I wason a defense mode or victim
mode or, you know,And so I had to learn
I just need to listen,because what I've learned is,
as I listen to my husband,he actually wants the best
(30:27):
for me, right?
He hehis heart is good He's very
my husbandis the type of man that he's
a very protective husbandAnd he just wants good
he wants good for me, his kidsAnd so when
he's sharing his heart,I need to listen
And then then when I listen,I'm able to see his heart
(30:50):
if I'm constantly talkingand saying But, but, but,
but you don't understandI don't hear his heart
Yeah So I need to listenI need to The best advice
someone told me isyou can't listen
with your mouth right?
I didn't listen to itThere's a reason why we go to
these corners Watch yourmouth, listen with your ears,
(31:15):
and just listen to what he saidAnd when I do, I'm like, Wow,
that's good He He has a heartMy husband's heart is for me
He just wants what's goodand then vice versa You know,
my husband has learned,you know, my personality
You know, I'm pretty muchthis is me I'm bubbly I'm on ten
(31:35):
most of the time YeahAnd he's had to learn that
and understand that Okay,How I communicate is,
you know what?
I'm a nurturer,so I'm always going
to communicatefrom that place of
I just want to make sureeveryone is taken care of And,
you know, I'm like a mama bear,you know?
(31:55):
And so I've learnedeven with our kids,
you know, our our olderson just turned 18 And so,
you know, he's been giving himsome advice in life
And then I'll be like, well,you know, take it easy on him
You know, he's, you know,because I'm Mama bear,
but I've had to learnYou know what?
It's okay He needs thatAnd then my husband is learning
(32:19):
because my husband and my sonand I have such
really good communicationHe's learning to tailor
his message Betterright to not be so, like,
you know, but like,you know what?
Maybe I also should justlisten to what my son is saying
and things like thatSo we've learned
this place of communicationand honestly,
(32:41):
we are still growing20 years eight into
I don't even knowhow people do it
You're just getting startedJust getting started Like
literally just getting startedAnd it's just it's honestly,
it's a daily journeyBut can I just say this
and I know we're wrapping upI always believe that
(33:01):
we have the power of lifeand death in our time
That's what the Biblesays, right?
Yeah So what I'm communicate tomy spouse is it bringing life?
Yeah And I'mvery conscious of that
What I'm speakingis it bringing life
So we won't let the sungo down on our anger
We not go onand on night on a bad note
(33:23):
We're going to love oneach other We're going to
get out and say, I love youYeah,
we're going to speak lightsbecause that's where the enemy
wants to come in It's the wordsHe will literally go
after the wordsthat you speak to your spouse
and he'll hang on those wordsand you'll be
thinking about, Oh,I can't believe
he said that to meAnd then you'll
just be hanging on itAnd I can't believe
she said that RightI'm telling you right
(33:44):
now, be intentional aboutspeaking life Speak life
Even if you still upset,Just say, Babe, I love you,
I love youAnd I just like because it's
it's in that you beginto cultivate an environment
where it's safe, it's loving,and then you can just work
(34:05):
through those thingsby talking it out
So we've just been big onthat We speak like to each other
that's so importantAnd it in those spaces where
trust begins to happenand more mobility
begins to happen, and you,that's where you grow closer
together in your relationshipYeah And so yeah, that,
that is so, so powerful I mean,I just remember
(34:28):
just even years and I mean,I mean,
it happened to our marriageYou're going through
a lot in thereThere are many times
where, like,I wasn't getting I needed
and there were areas thathe was doing things
that was hurting meand I was just like, Lord,
like I could tell,like you said,
I could take offenseor I could go to the Lord
(34:48):
and I can pray and ask him howhe sees my husband
and and see him in histhe fullness of who
God has called him to beAnd that's what I had to do
And I had to see him the wayGod sees him and start
buying into thatand prophesying into that
and speaking that over himand thinking that like him
(35:08):
and that, you know,things began to change So,
yeah, it's it's very powerfulWe agree, totally agree Yeah
Love it So, so for meso tell me if you could just
speak of blessing over peopleor we get off
what do you want to say?
What do you want to blesspeople with?
You know,I guess I would just say
(35:30):
what God always tells meabout my husband,
that he is a giftAnd just remember that I guess
I just want to leave you withthat is to remember that
your spouse is a giftThey're not a burden
They're not a hardshipThey're a gift
because God is giving yousomeone to do life with
for the rest of your lifetill death do you part
(35:50):
He's giving you someone to help,someone to lean
on, someone to counsel,someone to teach,
someone to laugh with, crywith Come on Right Go through
life with and I think about thatI get to go through
life with my husbandWe've seen ourselves
(36:10):
in the good, the bad, the uglyBut we're living in the overflow
in the season and it's beautifulto look and
go Remember where we started?
That's the blessing It's a giftMarriage is a gift
It's from heaven for sureGod had his intention
for marriage, and it's such abeautiful gift from the Lord
(36:33):
that He's given usAnd so how I would just
bless you is just juststep into the gift
that God has And there'sthere's definitely challenges
But it only makes you strongerIt makes your marriage
just so much strongerLike when I walk
through that with my husbandand my mom at the end of it,
(36:53):
I just looked at my husbandI was like, I am so blessed
Oh my gosh, It just made melove him more, trust him more,
respect him more, honor him moreand just fall deeper in love
And I think that's the thingwe have to remember,
even when sometimesit's messy, marriage is messy
We know that there's two peoplecoming together
(37:15):
with different personalitiestrying to work this out,
and it's messy Trust me I knowBut it's a gift
because what it doesis it teaches you about yourself
I think I've said thisand someone said this to me
and it's so trueYou really learn your self
in marriage It just do youJust because
(37:37):
there's another personlooking at you
and they know you at home,they know the real you
They know what you look atwhen you wake up
They know what you look likewhen you go to bed
They know everythingAnd that's powerful because
they literally know youThey know you and you know that
(37:58):
And you get to just walk throughthe life together
and then you see growthand you see victories
and you see testimoniesand got to see things So I just
bless all that are watchingI bless your marriage
I bless the gift of marriageI even believe that, again,
those marriagesthat that wording that
that my husband,he came into that revelation
(38:20):
not equally yokedI just feel like
the Lord is leveling that nowand he's joking you up again
What you felt likeI'm going here My husband's like
like laggingor my wife isn't there yet
I just believethe Lord in this season
He's literallybringing you into alignment
He's yoking you upand you think about the yoking
(38:43):
is so that you can dothe work together is so that
the plow, the field togetheris so that you can receive
the blessing togetherThat's why he yokes
you up togetherSo you're stronger together,
He yokes you upso you're stronger together
And that's the thingThe enemy wants people to forget
is you're actuallystronger together
(39:05):
Yeah And so I just blessyour marriage strength
in your marriagethat you would just be yoked up,
strengthened togetherand that no man
can separate it, right?
No man can separate itwith God is brought together
No man can separateHe is faithful
And I just want toleave you with this
I was thinkingabout coming on here today,
(39:26):
and the Lord reminded meon my wedding day,
our best man sang the song to usas a blessing
Great is thy faithfulnessAnd there's a line in the song
that says Morning by morningnew mercies I see a man in
I just released that toyou guys today,
(39:47):
morning by morningSo every morning you wake up
to your spouse, he'sgiving you a new mercy,
give you another chanceto bless one another,
love on each otherand just come together
and be stronger togetherMorning by morning, new mercies
You'll seegreatest thy faithfulness
So God bless you guysGod bless you With you
(40:09):
Thank you so much Yeah, Reallyso Thank you so much
Goodness graciousThanks This is powerful
You bring itYou said you're always
at a ten on your energylevel We it
But you don't just bringa bunch of puffery
like you're bringing rock,you're bringing foundation,
you're bringing graceand you're bringing years
of experience with knee scrapesYou know what I'm saying?
(40:34):
Like you've been on youryou walked through things
and I just love thatAnd if there's one last thing
I would just add onto that blessing
that you just gave is everythingyou talked about
went back to graceand everything He's
my foundation And soit's going to be really,
really hardLike marriage is hard enough,
(40:56):
but it's going tobe really hard without Christ
A man is a manSee out real quick
as we end this oneguy, Grace, the big C
Yeah, he's the big Cis the main thing You're right
Is the foundation, thenWell, we love you
(41:17):
both And love you guys, loveeverything you're doing
and just how you representthe kingdom, the realness,
the and everythingthat you just pour
into other peopleAnd I really look for it
I have not met Christian yet,so I hope that we're Oh,
yeah, sometime soonWell, he's better
looking than me,that's for sure Well,
(41:40):
bless him and thank him forjust obviously for you and
and what you are doing togetherto advance the kingdom
and to really show the worldwhat a kingdom
marriage looks like,what a kingdom family
looks like in your communityand in the world Mm hmm Yeah
Well, bless you guysAnd again, I'm
so honored that you would askme, and I'm ready for part two
that a British Christian tohave a good ring ST
(42:04):
How many ladies would say,Come on, there's 40 women
Wow Yes, there's 40That's incredible
We are just so excitedand just blast in the Lord's
just download itAnd who is gonna be good
this time?
Yeah, well, plus,you will have a
wonderful time Yeah Yeah So,you know, like the
(42:25):
Holy Spirit party Yeah, totallyWell, we're going to go ahead
and pray, Christian,so that when you get back
Yeah That he recognizesit's breakfast in bed, you know
Yeah We anything that's neededHe's just like I got to,
you know, so well vice versaI will be blessing him
(42:48):
because he'sholding down the house
No boys and a dogSo I'll be blessing him
when I come backbecause he's sacrificing so time
while I go off with the womenSo usually he comes,
but this year he's not ButI'll be blessing him
and thanking him for this,allowing me to go
and just experience this, thatAnd that's that's really good
(43:09):
Really good All right,all right, all right
So easy way to say goodbyeI guess we're just going to
have to do it YeahThen I bless you
So we're Triciaand Thomas Walker
This is from Romesa WilsonShe is a dear friend of mine
and she believes in ministrycalled desperately Seeking
Jesus She does prayer everand we'll all let you tell more
about what you do with thatBut essentially how
we just started doing thiswas that during COVID,
the Lord just started telling methat we needed
(00:49):
to share our testimoniesand we started doing some
things onlineAnd we are about to
be hosting a marriage retreatin the San Francisco Bay Area
in February 2023And the Lord told me,
Now it's time to startgetting others testimonies
of a married couplecouples Their testimonies,
(01:11):
And so we're praying about itI just I just really wanted to,
Romi said, share her storyand her testimony on
just her life,her marriage, her family
So we're so welcomeAnd thank you for having me here
Oh, excited to be a part ofjust excited
to be a part of it and just,you know, honest I'm thankful
(01:33):
to God that I can shareYou know, a lot of times
when you're walkingthrough a journey of marriage,
there's moments inyour marriage like
that Is there going to be atestimony out of this text?
Is there going to bea mess out of this mess?
Yeah Oh, my God Oh, LordBut I'm thankful for that
God's like, yeah,there's a message
(01:54):
that came out of that messThere's a
testimony that came outof that test And, you know,
he gets all the glory for itAll of it I won't take credit
And I know my husbandwon't take credit,
and I just wantto honor my husband right now
He's out working Thank you,Jesus, that he has employment
because we've walkedthrough unemployment
(02:15):
in our marriage But I'm thankfulAnd he's at work But we're one,
so I know whatever I share, he'sin total agreement
But I just want tohonor my husband
and thank God for himAnd honestly, you know,
everything that I do, I wouldn'thonestly be able to do
ministry and workand all the things
that I'm able to dowithout my partner in life,
(02:38):
Christian Wilson He'san incredible man,
a man of faith, and I'mjust blessed to be his wife
So thanks for having me, guysYou're welcome
So can you just tell mebriefly what you do
desperately seeking, SusanDesperately Well,
where did that come?
Well, there's a story about thatWell, you know,
(02:59):
what's so funny is,you know the Lord
So I loved that moviegrowing up in the eighties
You know, I love that movieAnd I remember
just thinking, God, what is thisthat you're cultivating
in my life?
And with prayerand just this place of going,
getting up every morningAnd honestly, it was a journey
(03:20):
It was really because ofmy marriage God had invited me
into a place of prayerand intercession for my marriage
Now, about eight years ago,he told me to get up
every morning and I didAnd I first started in prayer
just seeking the Lord And as itkept going, I'm like,
God, I'm just desperateto see change I'm desperate
(03:40):
to see somethingwithin my marriage
and within my familyThat's kind of the
birth of the ministryIt was desperately seeking
Jesus not seeing them, but JesusAnd it started there, me
crying out to the LordAnd then I had an opportunity
through a local churchto host a small group
And one of the thingsthat the pastor had
(04:02):
said was invite people into what
you're already doing Well,that's what I was doing
every day, wasgetting up every morning
and just praying and seekingthe Lord And I would worship
and I would just read the BibleAnd so and also, you know,
being someone who works commute,I was commuting at the time,
(04:22):
I really wanted to be ableto participate in a group,
but I just didn't knowhow I was going to do that
And so I knew I was supposedto invite other
people into this,what God was doing
and cultivating in meI just didn't know how
it was all going to happenAnd I remember
being away on a worktrip in a hotel room
and the Lord said,Do a conference call
(04:43):
And I'm like, okay And that'swhat I did I just looked into
how do I do a conference call?
Because at that time,Zoom wasn't like a big thing,
you know, eight years agoand you think about it
So it was like,how can I do this on the go?
Or, you know,get people from all over
just to log in?
And it was like,do a conference call
(05:04):
So that's what I didAnd we're here now, eight years
later, going after Godevery morning, Monday
through Friday, 6 am to 630,we have seen miracles,
signs, wonders on the phone lineIt literally
is one of those thingswhere women will come
from all overGod actually spoke to me
(05:24):
He said this is going to be anational ministry
And then all of a suddenthere'll be women
logging in from Georgia,Arizona, Washington, Alaska,
just you name itAnd I'm like, wow, God,
this is incredibleAnd then he began to show me
that there's there wasa need on the line for more
for usto come together and connect
(05:46):
And so that's when he startedbirthing the retreat So we would
then go every year to SouthLake Tahoe for a retreat
because we always wouldhear each other on the phone,
but we never reallysaw each other
And so here we are this weekendWe're going to our seventh year
retreat, South Lake TahoeThere's 40 women going up
(06:07):
desperately seeking JesusAnd he meets us every time
And so I'm just so thankfulfor this ministry because even
during the pandemic, I thought,okay, God,
I don't think you want meto do this anymore
I think it's overBut God said, No,
I want you to keep goingbecause it's
not your ministry, it's mineAnd there are people
who are desperate,least seeking me
and they need thisAnd what I love is that
(06:29):
I'll have people reach out to meand they'll say, You know,
I was really needinga word from the Lord,
and I just log that numberand you were on there
You were just on there like,they're surprised
you're still on thereYou haven't stopped,
you're consistentAnd I think that that's been
just the beautiful thingthat God has done,
is he just says,I want you to do this
(06:49):
This is your assignmentin your life
So so when he said, just justin listening to that,
like so good and I have somany questions already,
but I just have one follow upand it's kind of a plug,
but not really, because it doesrelate to marriages
And we're doing the retreatin February throughout 2023,
and you've done itfor seven years for women
(07:12):
Can you just talk aboutthe importance of retreats
and setting aside time?
Yeah, it's interestingbecause when I sent out
the email to the womena few days ago,
a secondary email, I said,This is not a vacation
This is not a girls getaway,this is an encounter
(07:33):
And that's the importanceof setting aside
the time Well, we're busyWe've got so many different
things Kids work bills,just you know how it is
when you're marriedIt's just like, go, go, go
And I think even just as women,but I mean, as a married
(07:55):
couple, imagine justgoing away and focusing
in on each otherand focusing on God,
What a blessing that isI just think of it
like when the Bible talksabout several times,
Jesus would go away to prayHe would have you walk on water
or he'd have miracles orjust different
(08:16):
things that happenedBut he would consist
only go away And so, yeah,and that was something
that he was showing usin those moments of
this is important,rest is important,
Sabbath is importantYou have to get away
from all the things,the responsibilities,
(08:37):
and you have to goand be with the father
And there's a blessing in thatevery time In fact,
the disciples got to seeexactly what happened
when Jesus would go away,they saw him what transfigured
they got to see him changebecause he was actually away
with the fatherThey got a glimpse
of what happens when we go awaywith the Lord
(08:58):
and spend time with themAnd we're so intentional
We're like, I just want JesusI only want you
And that's what we doWe just get there
and we just go afterJesus the entire weekend
And sometimes we forget to eat,sometimes we don't sleep,
we just go after the LordAnd it's absolutely incredible
Like when we come back,we're change We are not the same
(09:19):
So I would just sayfor your retreat,
there is a blessing,especially when you get to do it
with your spouseWhat an incredible blessing
that will be to just saywe're going away together
and this is not like a vacationWe're trying
to get away from the kidsLike, no, we're going
and we're goingafter Jesus together Right?
(09:40):
And I think that's awesomeYeah, that's awesome
So it's important YeahWell, I like what you said
about being intentionalbecause I think this is why
a retreat has just beenplaced on our heart
for so long Thoughthe Lord has said you're going
to be doing retreatsand we've been a part,
we've been invitedto be a part of different
(10:00):
retreats, maybe co-hostingor whatever But, you know,
he said this is going to besomething that we do because
even early in our marriage,like the first year
we were married,married, we were in, you know,
we went to a marriage retreatand I just
was just like so blown awayAnd just the things
that I was learningthat I never heard before Right
(10:22):
And because you go to church,you do different things And then
a lot of the messagesare tailored to a married couple
will be real aboutbeing in the church It's
like how many churches are realabout where you are
in your marriage?
Well, you know, so these thingsbecome really, really important
to find those safe spaceswhere you can Yes, authentic
(10:46):
and really presentAnd that's what it is,
I think aboutjust the women that come
They can be real,they can be authentic,
they can be vulnerable,and they realize, hey,
I'm not alone Right That sistersgoing through that
or that sister overcame thatAnd I can get through that, too
(11:07):
So that's where theythey're able
to have so much victoryand freedom And when the women
that I invite to come and speaklike they share their testimony
Right So they share you know,we've had
some powerful testimoniescome out of these retreats
and women hear thatand they're like, wow,
I didn't know thatlooking at hers,
(11:30):
she was going through thator she dealt with that
But I also dealt with thatSo now I can get my break
through, tooThere's power in the task
So good It's so good to knowthat you're not alone,
because that'sone of the first things we let
people know when wecoach couples is
your relationshipisn't broken It is
now You may be in a placewhere you're challenged,
(11:52):
but the responseis more important than that
and what we do with itand how we handle it
and walk through it togetherAnd so that's kind of
my next question for you,because you said something
about giving your ministryto God and God, letting you know
that your ministry is hisI'm going to venture
to move beyond my next question,which is
(12:13):
I'm sure you and Christianare saying, God,
our marriage is yoursand it's not ours
We get to collaborate on it,but it's his marriage
He put it togetherHe's going to prosper it
Yeah So can you just I kind ofwant to get to overcoming And
can you think of a timein your marriage
where it was challengingand just maybe some
(12:37):
how you walk through itto the extent you can share
what you walk through andand just some lessons learned
through thosethrough some of those seasons
Yeah, well, I totally agreeYou know,
God brought us togetherWe met actually in retail
in San Francisco at the Gapand Christian was my trainer
(12:58):
for the first day, taught mehow to fold sweaters
and 20 years later,here we are We we never knew
that to crazy kids You know,I wasn't saying
he was insane, but God justdid something radical in us
and I got saved and was on firefor the Lord In my job
He was like,What happened to you?
(13:20):
And I want to know about thatAnd in that relationship
of me witnessing to him,God birthed that relationship
So he did thatGod brought us together
and we haven't been apartsince that first moment
And I think in our marriagewe just celebrated
20 years of marriageSo thank you, Jesus
(13:40):
But we had challengesand we've had
to overcome some things I thinkthe biggest thing was, you know,
when my mom was ill,my mom was sick,
and I had a kind ofa stress relationship
with my mom over the yearsBut in that moment,
she needed meAnd it was actually
my husband who had suggested,bring your mom to the house,
(14:04):
let your mom come and let'slet's take care of your mom
And we did that,but we didn't realize
that that wouldtest our marriage
We didn't realize thatthat was going to be hard
It was a hard season becausewe had to sacrifice
She had Alzheimer's,so she needed care So my husband
had to sacrifice He had to gofrom working full time
(14:26):
to working part timeHe had to help make breakfast
and we had to get her upand get her to bed And we had to
do thingsthat he probably didn't
want to seefrom his mother in law But
we did that and our marriagehas been strong
But that was a hard seasonbecause there were moments
when he didn't feel valuedThere were moments
(14:49):
when it was hard for me,and then the Lord decided
in the midst of thatto just expand the ministry
I was just on the phonedoing the prayer line,
and then all of a suddenpeople would say, Can you come
speak at my ministry?
Can you come do this?
Then the Lord said,I want you to do a podcast
And all of a suddenall these things
started happeningand I felt like,
(15:09):
How can I do thisin this season?
But God's that I'm doing thisin this season for purpose
But it was hardbecause of course
it's like, Well,I need you here now
You can't go thereAnd it was like,
But God is asking me to do thisAnd so we were having this
just challenge in our marriageAnd I remember spending a lot
(15:29):
of time in prayerbecause I felt like this is not
something in the natural this isthis is something
that's happeningin the spirit and and we know
that we're going to goafter something The spirit
We got to fight it on our kneesWe can't we don't fight against
flesh and bloodAnd we were finding
that we were goingafter each other
on different topics,whether it be finances
(15:51):
or just whatever it wasand just time and things
that we needed in the kidsIt's like,
okay, this is this is notthis is not natural
This is a spiritual thingAnd we need to fight this
together on our knees And somy husband says, Why don't we
lead a Bible study together?
So in the midst of all of that,my mom's living in the house
(16:14):
She has Alzheimer'sShe's on medication for that
She's having episodesI mean, it was crazy
We're having to call the policebecause she'll just
get out of the houseIt was just wild
My husband says,Let's have a Bible study
in our house, like,Oh, man, here we go
And the Lord didsomething in that
because the Bible studywas called spiritual roots
(16:38):
And my husband's very passionateabout the word of God,
specifically going backinto our Hebrew roots And so,
you know,he was sharing every night
about that, and we were goingdeep in the word of the Lord
I used to tellpeople would have to put on
snorkeling gearbecause we were going real deep
into the word of the LordAnd my husband's
passionate about the addedIt was a beautiful season, but
(17:02):
God was like, in this,I want you to
continue to do thisI want you to pray I want you to
minister togetherI want you to connect
I want you to believe meand have faith
And I'm telling you,it wasn't easy It was some hard
times You know,we'd be in the middle
of the Bible studyMy mom would be calling out
for us, you know,things like that,
(17:22):
because she didn't really knowwhat was happening
But we perseveredAnd I remember one night
we were serving ourit was like a serve week,
and we decidedto serve our small group
by washing their feetAnd my husband
and I began to washthe feet of the people
(17:43):
at the small group,and the Lord just spoke to me
He said,This was why I did that,
because I wantedyou guys to come together as one
and I wanted you to understandyou serve one another
and that's what you're doingAnd in that moment,
I realized thatthat is what I'm to do
(18:04):
as his wife,We I serve my husband
and then he serves meHe was showing me
And as we beganto get this revelation,
it just seemed like thatburden got less and less
And I remember a husbandtold me one day,
he said, you know, I was prayingand the Lord told me,
your mom is a giftMom And I'm like, What?
(18:28):
What?
We didn't realize thateight months later,
the mom's healthstarted declining and she passed
And on the nightthat my mom passed,
right before that,she was in hospice
care in the houseand she was fading And I was
my husband says he looks at me,he's like,
you're going to need to goand you need to say
(18:49):
goodbye to your momAnd I was like, I can't do it
I can't do it And he said,We're going to do it together
And we went in the roomand the Lord took her
and we were togetherMy husband was standing
at the foot of the bedpraying over her,
and I was at her feet,praying for her again
(19:09):
God showed meyou're serving one another
Yeah And that's what it meansin the marriage You
serve one another And in thosemoments, that's
how you overcome Yeah,because we can be so focused
on the probleminstead of thinking
about each otherand serving, like,
What can I help you with?
(19:29):
What can I do for you?
How can I make iteasier for you?
How can I so it was likewe just started to learn that
through that seasonand support one another
My husband's beenmy biggest supporter
That's awesome I've been hisbiggest supporter Yeah,
we just learned through thatThat's beautiful, you know?
I love thatAnd I just have a question
(19:51):
that I have so many questions,but we're going
to get you out here on timelike we were committed
But Romi, So this is good Sowe might have
to do a part two Go aheadand let me
set that up right now OkaySo when we're
serving each other, let's saywe have expectations about what
we're going to get back or,or the heart
(20:15):
position when we're servingIt's a conditional serving,
right?
I'm serving youbecause I am expecting
that you are goingto do this thing for me,
but then that thingdoesn't happen
Can you just go into that onea little bit?
Yeah, That's realYeah, it's real It's so real
But you know what God told meabout that in a season
(20:38):
when I was just prayingfor my husband and, you know,
the Lord told me he said,the way
that you ministered to peoplethat you don't even know
is the way you should beministering to
your husband at home is like,think about that
Like a stranger on the streetI'm giving them food, I'm
giving them money,I'm praying over them,
(20:59):
I'm prophesying, I'mcalling out the treasure
But I'm not doing thatfor my husband, you know?
And the Lord just beganto speak to me about that's
how you serve your spouse,is that you call out
the treasure,You speak those things
as if they were You'retheir cheerleader
You're the support,and you're not expecting
anything in return You'rejust being obedient to the Lord
(21:23):
So maybe it's a textHey, I just want you to know
I love you, babeI appreciate you Thank you
Or it's a scriptureor it's a song I remember when,
after my mom passed, was goingthrough a tough time
with the family over financesMy husband sent me a song
to minister to mein that moment, and that song
(21:43):
brought me breakthroughbecause I was hurting
and in pain But he didn'twant anything in
return He was just serving meAnd then in turn, and we
just keep doing thiswith each other and we're not
expecting anythingWe're just being obedient
to the Lord And that'swhy it's important to us
as married couples that you praynot just together,
but even separatelyto hear from the Lord
(22:06):
because the Lord will beginto tell you how to minister
to your spouse and how to prayBut he he told me straight
He's like, the way you do thatto other people on the street
Your first ministry is youryour home
So you should be doing thatto your family
And so I learned thatmy family is my first ministry
Tricia knows there's timeswhen I'll be go here,
(22:26):
go there, and I'llsay, I can't go because I got to
be with my familyAnd I have learned I don't even
have to apologize about thatYeah, because that's my I'm
serving my family,especially knowing
my husband's loveLanguage is quality time
I need to be thereHe writes me there, you know,
And thank Godafter 20 years, honey,
(22:48):
he just wants me around,you know?
But your languageis bonding time You didn't know
we I thinkyou want to hang out there,
but Yeah, but that'swhat I've learned is, like,
I'm not I don't need anythingin return I just want to bless
my husband, just like I'mdoing in ministry
(23:08):
with these women on the boatGo into town
like I can bless my husbandJust to say, you know,
I'm not expectinganything from these women,
but I'm just serving RightReally, really good Well,
I like what you said You saidby serving each other
that you've overcome that Andit just made me
think of the scripturethat we overcome
by the blood of the lamband the word of our testimony
(23:30):
And it just sounds likejust from when you like, over
these last 20 yearsthat you've all been married,
you know, he didn't knowor when you first met
And, you know, there's a growthprocess, right?
There's a growth processwhen you first get saved
or you first just,you know, decide I'm
going to oh, Lord,there is a process Yeah So how
would you say thatthe obedience to the Lord
and just how is all of thatthat you're talking about helped
(23:53):
the both of you, even him,to be able to allow you all
to just overcome and toand to just
really grow together?
Yeah The mirrordid not grow apart
Yeah And I think, you know,I think here's the thing Like
there was a seasonin our marriage
where I'll be honest, like,I was on fire for the Lord and,
you know,my husband was just growing,
(24:14):
you know, he's just growingand trying to figure out
everything And, you know,I would get frustrated
sometimes because he wasn'twhere I was And I'm you know,
he was kind of like,okay, you doing too much?
And the Lord just beganto speak to us both about we're
each on a journey, right?
His journey with theLord is different
(24:35):
from my journey with the LordAlthough we're together,
we're not going to experiencethe Lord the same way
We're not going to hear himthe same way
We're both differentThat speaks to me differently
That speaks to himdifferently When I worship,
I do one thing my husband,and that's okay because we're
both on a journey with the Lord,and that's one of the things
(24:57):
God had to show meRespect the journey
that each one of you are onright?
And thenthe Lord began to say to me,
Rumi said, Beginto pray for your spouse
and ask for the Holy Spiritto do the work because you
are not the Holy Spirit Likeyou have to tell me
You need to getout of the way We live here
(25:21):
Let me do what I do bestYou just pray You just pray
And you believe thatI will do what I said I would do
Because what I promisefor Christian is the same
I promise for you,I'm no respecter
He will encounter meHe will experience me
He's on a journeyAnd I'll never forget
My husband's a mountain bikerHe loves to go
(25:41):
up in the mountainsand ride his bike
One day he came homeHe said, Babe, God spoke to me
I'm like, Oh, he did itAnd he said, Yes
And what he told me,he said that
we need to be equally yokedAnd so again, I was like,
Look at the Holy Spirit,because I was just letting God
(26:03):
do what he doesHe's on the journey
and God spoke to him and beganto give him revelation
And from that momenton, my husband
has just been so on fireHe just began to go
into his wordand just go on the journey
with the Lord It wasn't meAnd if I could even encourage
there's women that have husbandsthat they're like that
(26:25):
I wish he was like my pastor,you know,
I wish you could be a deaconListen, your husband,
God, ministersto your husband, you know,
you just let him do itIt's it's in God's timing
He's on a journeyOur responsibility as what?
Just pray and even vise versaIf husbands
(26:45):
your wife isn't there, just prayGod will meet them
Because we have thatpromise in the world when one is
saved in the householdall out of faith Right?
So they're under the coveringin the household
and you just believe Godand he will do that
So my husband,I have grown together
in the journey We've grownAnd he's just he's
(27:07):
seen my growthand I've seen his growth
and we celebrated each otherAnd one of our best things to do
is talk about the BibleWe'll be driving on a road trip
and I'll be like,What do you think about this?
And then here we goWe just go back and forth, back,
and that's somethingwe love to do
And I believe the Lord ispleased by that
because he gives this,you know, revelation on it,
(27:30):
and I'll get my revelation on itAnd we're on a journey
Each one of us, you know,we're not competing
We're not trying toit's not a sprint,
you know, it's a marathonAnd we're just walking it out
with JesusAnd at the end of the day,
what we have foundis it's really about our seat
It's about our children, Right?
What are our childrenseeing from their parents
(27:52):
as we're going on the journeyto show them what it means
to live for Christ?
Amen Soand this is what marriage
was doing So you just hitand we're getting close to
the heart tostay tuned, everyone
that's coming So I'm pleasedthat we talk about Tricia
and I have a model of frameworkthat we believe in called
(28:14):
the Seven Seasof Collaborative Marriage
And you've hit on a numberof them today, maybe knowingly
or unknowingly, that you did onthe most recent
When you talk aboutcelebrating each other over
we don't do that enoughcelebrate
And it's the small thingsthat actually can yield
(28:35):
big resultsBut there's one see that
is probably the most common Seethat is the derail of marriage
communication,healthy communication
Is that an areathat you and Christian
have had to work onas well is the way that you
how you relateand walk with each other
(28:56):
and just maybeas the last question,
just some thoughtsabout that, right?
Just how you communicateYeah, I think
we're different I mean,we communicate differently
And I thinkwhat we've learned over
the years is that that's okayBut we have
the common goal, right?
(29:18):
So we maycommunicate differently,
but we have the same goalAnd so how do we get to
that goal?
How do we bring it to the table?
And I thinkwe always just go back to the
the beginning oflike we were friends
before we were anythingAnd so we just bring it back
to that place of communicationas friends, you know,
and then husband and wifeAnd I think what I've learned
(29:41):
is to be a really good listenerAnd yeah,
because I think, you know,sometimes in communication
we always want to go Butbut I would communicate from
a place of offenseand it was bad Like my
husband couldrarely give me anything
because I'd be offendedand the Lord had to show me
(30:04):
that's a spirit of fixAnd you need to work on that
because you know anythingI mean anything he'd say,
I just would be offendedSo I had to constantly
feel like I wason a defense mode or victim
mode or, you know,And so I had to learn
I just need to listen,because what I've learned is,
as I listen to my husband,he actually wants the best
(30:27):
for me, right?
He hehis heart is good He's very
my husbandis the type of man that he's
a very protective husbandAnd he just wants good
he wants good for me, his kidsAnd so when
he's sharing his heart,I need to listen
And then then when I listen,I'm able to see his heart
(30:50):
if I'm constantly talkingand saying But, but, but,
but you don't understandI don't hear his heart
Yeah So I need to listenI need to The best advice
someone told me isyou can't listen
with your mouth right?
I didn't listen to itThere's a reason why we go to
these corners Watch yourmouth, listen with your ears,
(31:15):
and just listen to what he saidAnd when I do, I'm like, Wow,
that's good He He has a heartMy husband's heart is for me
He just wants what's goodand then vice versa You know,
my husband has learned,you know, my personality
You know, I'm pretty muchthis is me I'm bubbly I'm on ten
(31:35):
most of the time YeahAnd he's had to learn that
and understand that Okay,How I communicate is,
you know what?
I'm a nurturer,so I'm always going
to communicatefrom that place of
I just want to make sureeveryone is taken care of And,
you know, I'm like a mama bear,you know?
(31:55):
And so I've learnedeven with our kids,
you know, our our olderson just turned 18 And so,
you know, he's been giving himsome advice in life
And then I'll be like, well,you know, take it easy on him
You know, he's, you know,because I'm Mama bear,
but I've had to learnYou know what?
It's okay He needs thatAnd then my husband is learning
(32:19):
because my husband and my sonand I have such
really good communicationHe's learning to tailor
his message Betterright to not be so, like,
you know, but like,you know what?
Maybe I also should justlisten to what my son is saying
and things like thatSo we've learned
this place of communicationand honestly,
(32:41):
we are still growing20 years eight into
I don't even knowhow people do it
You're just getting startedJust getting started Like
literally just getting startedAnd it's just it's honestly,
it's a daily journeyBut can I just say this
and I know we're wrapping upI always believe that
(33:01):
we have the power of lifeand death in our time
That's what the Biblesays, right?
Yeah So what I'm communicate tomy spouse is it bringing life?
Yeah And I'mvery conscious of that
What I'm speakingis it bringing life
So we won't let the sungo down on our anger
We not go onand on night on a bad note
(33:23):
We're going to love oneach other We're going to
get out and say, I love youYeah,
we're going to speak lightsbecause that's where the enemy
wants to come in It's the wordsHe will literally go
after the wordsthat you speak to your spouse
and he'll hang on those wordsand you'll be
thinking about, Oh,I can't believe
he said that to meAnd then you'll
just be hanging on itAnd I can't believe
she said that RightI'm telling you right
(33:44):
now, be intentional aboutspeaking life Speak life
Even if you still upset,Just say, Babe, I love you,
I love youAnd I just like because it's
it's in that you beginto cultivate an environment
where it's safe, it's loving,and then you can just work
(34:05):
through those thingsby talking it out
So we've just been big onthat We speak like to each other
that's so importantAnd it in those spaces where
trust begins to happenand more mobility
begins to happen, and you,that's where you grow closer
together in your relationshipYeah And so yeah, that,
that is so, so powerful I mean,I just remember
(34:28):
just even years and I mean,I mean,
it happened to our marriageYou're going through
a lot in thereThere are many times
where, like,I wasn't getting I needed
and there were areas thathe was doing things
that was hurting meand I was just like, Lord,
like I could tell,like you said,
I could take offenseor I could go to the Lord
(34:48):
and I can pray and ask him howhe sees my husband
and and see him in histhe fullness of who
God has called him to beAnd that's what I had to do
And I had to see him the wayGod sees him and start
buying into thatand prophesying into that
and speaking that over himand thinking that like him
(35:08):
and that, you know,things began to change So,
yeah, it's it's very powerfulWe agree, totally agree Yeah
Love it So, so for meso tell me if you could just
speak of blessing over peopleor we get off
what do you want to say?
What do you want to blesspeople with?
You know,I guess I would just say
(35:30):
what God always tells meabout my husband,
that he is a giftAnd just remember that I guess
I just want to leave you withthat is to remember that
your spouse is a giftThey're not a burden
They're not a hardshipThey're a gift
because God is giving yousomeone to do life with
for the rest of your lifetill death do you part
(35:50):
He's giving you someone to help,someone to lean
on, someone to counsel,someone to teach,
someone to laugh with, crywith Come on Right Go through
life with and I think about thatI get to go through
life with my husbandWe've seen ourselves
(36:10):
in the good, the bad, the uglyBut we're living in the overflow
in the season and it's beautifulto look and
go Remember where we started?
That's the blessing It's a giftMarriage is a gift
It's from heaven for sureGod had his intention
for marriage, and it's such abeautiful gift from the Lord
(36:33):
that He's given usAnd so how I would just
bless you is just juststep into the gift
that God has And there'sthere's definitely challenges
But it only makes you strongerIt makes your marriage
just so much strongerLike when I walk
through that with my husbandand my mom at the end of it,
(36:53):
I just looked at my husbandI was like, I am so blessed
Oh my gosh, It just made melove him more, trust him more,
respect him more, honor him moreand just fall deeper in love
And I think that's the thingwe have to remember,
even when sometimesit's messy, marriage is messy
We know that there's two peoplecoming together
(37:15):
with different personalitiestrying to work this out,
and it's messy Trust me I knowBut it's a gift
because what it doesis it teaches you about yourself
I think I've said thisand someone said this to me
and it's so trueYou really learn your self
in marriage It just do youJust because
(37:37):
there's another personlooking at you
and they know you at home,they know the real you
They know what you look atwhen you wake up
They know what you look likewhen you go to bed
They know everythingAnd that's powerful because
they literally know youThey know you and you know that
(37:58):
And you get to just walk throughthe life together
and then you see growthand you see victories
and you see testimoniesand got to see things So I just
bless all that are watchingI bless your marriage
I bless the gift of marriageI even believe that, again,
those marriagesthat that wording that
that my husband,he came into that revelation
(38:20):
not equally yokedI just feel like
the Lord is leveling that nowand he's joking you up again
What you felt likeI'm going here My husband's like
like laggingor my wife isn't there yet
I just believethe Lord in this season
He's literallybringing you into alignment
He's yoking you upand you think about the yoking
(38:43):
is so that you can dothe work together is so that
the plow, the field togetheris so that you can receive
the blessing togetherThat's why he yokes
you up togetherSo you're stronger together,
He yokes you upso you're stronger together
And that's the thingThe enemy wants people to forget
is you're actuallystronger together
(39:05):
Yeah And so I just blessyour marriage strength
in your marriagethat you would just be yoked up,
strengthened togetherand that no man
can separate it, right?
No man can separate itwith God is brought together
No man can separateHe is faithful
And I just want toleave you with this
I was thinkingabout coming on here today,
(39:26):
and the Lord reminded meon my wedding day,
our best man sang the song to usas a blessing
Great is thy faithfulnessAnd there's a line in the song
that says Morning by morningnew mercies I see a man in
I just released that toyou guys today,
(39:47):
morning by morningSo every morning you wake up
to your spouse, he'sgiving you a new mercy,
give you another chanceto bless one another,
love on each otherand just come together
and be stronger togetherMorning by morning, new mercies
You'll seegreatest thy faithfulness
So God bless you guysGod bless you With you
(40:09):
Thank you so much Yeah, Reallyso Thank you so much
Goodness graciousThanks This is powerful
You bring itYou said you're always
at a ten on your energylevel We it
But you don't just bringa bunch of puffery
like you're bringing rock,you're bringing foundation,
you're bringing graceand you're bringing years
of experience with knee scrapesYou know what I'm saying?
(40:34):
Like you've been on youryou walked through things
and I just love thatAnd if there's one last thing
I would just add onto that blessing
that you just gave is everythingyou talked about
went back to graceand everything He's
my foundation And soit's going to be really,
really hardLike marriage is hard enough,
(40:56):
but it's going tobe really hard without Christ
A man is a manSee out real quick
as we end this oneguy, Grace, the big C
Yeah, he's the big Cis the main thing You're right
Is the foundation, thenWell, we love you
(41:17):
both And love you guys, loveeverything you're doing
and just how you representthe kingdom, the realness,
the and everythingthat you just pour
into other peopleAnd I really look for it
I have not met Christian yet,so I hope that we're Oh,
yeah, sometime soonWell, he's better
looking than me,that's for sure Well,
(41:40):
bless him and thank him forjust obviously for you and
and what you are doing togetherto advance the kingdom
and to really show the worldwhat a kingdom
marriage looks like,what a kingdom family
looks like in your communityand in the world Mm hmm Yeah
Well, bless you guysAnd again, I'm
so honored that you would askme, and I'm ready for part two
that a British Christian tohave a good ring ST
(42:04):
How many ladies would say,Come on, there's 40 women
Wow Yes, there's 40That's incredible
We are just so excitedand just blast in the Lord's
just download itAnd who is gonna be good
this time?
Yeah, well, plus,you will have a
wonderful time Yeah Yeah So,you know, like the
(42:25):
Holy Spirit party Yeah, totallyWell, we're going to go ahead
and pray, Christian,so that when you get back
Yeah That he recognizesit's breakfast in bed, you know
Yeah We anything that's neededHe's just like I got to,
you know, so well vice versaI will be blessing him
(42:48):
because he'sholding down the house
No boys and a dogSo I'll be blessing him
when I come backbecause he's sacrificing so time
while I go off with the womenSo usually he comes,
but this year he's not ButI'll be blessing him
and thanking him for this,allowing me to go
and just experience this, thatAnd that's that's really good
(43:09):
Really good All right,all right, all right
So easy way to say goodbyeI guess we're just going to
have to do it YeahThen I bless you
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