May 20, 2024 • 27 mins
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Season 1 Finale - Bonus Episode
Trisha & Thomas Walker
Christ at the Center
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🔸In this conversation, Trisha and Thomas Walker discuss the importance of putting and keeping Christ at the center of relationships. They emphasize the need to align one's spirit with God's spirit and pursue a healthy soul by renewing the mind, submitting the will to God, and dealing with emotions in a healthy way. They also highlight the significance of allowing the body to be led by the spirit and taking responsibility for one's actions. The conversation explores the importance of building healthy relationships and extending grace, and concludes with the reminder that Christ at the center is essential in navigating challenging times.
We are Trisha and Thomas Walker, licensed ministers, relationship coaches, & prayer counselors where we teach couples how to deepen their relationship with each other and with God. This is the Seeds For Your Marriage podcast where we share biblical wisdom and practical advice on building a strong, healthy, and fulfilling marriage rooted in faith. These marriage stories are to inspire you and give you a deeper understanding of God's design for marriage and steps to having a Christ-centered and thriving family.
For more visit:
https://trishaandthomas.com/podcast/
Learn about Trisha and Thomas Walker and their ministry, LGLP Ministries, Inc, visit:
https://trishaandthomas.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To learn to get to the place where Christ is the
foundation, where we're aligningeverything, every part of our
being, our soul, our spirit andour body, with Holy Spirit,
where he's at the center.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Tip number one is really just committing to Christ
as our foundation.
I mean, it really starts here.
Seeds for your marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to Conversations with Trisha and
Thomas.
We are, Trisha and ThomasWalker, relationship coaches and
communication experts.
We help couples improve theircommunication, resolve conflict
and achieve God's design for anamazing marriage.
Today, we're going to betalking about what it means to
put and keep Christ at thecenter of our relationships and
(00:44):
to do it in a way where therelationships that we have in
our life are benefited.
And you know, Trish, this isnot an issue until it becomes an
issue.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, do we ever sometimes feel like we're
fighting an uphill battle indifferent areas of our life, or
that we're working againstourselves?
Do we tend to be on the fenceabout aligning our will to God's
will, or even how to do that?
Or we struggle with the abilityto trust God by giving up
control in our life and allowingourselves to be completely led
(01:17):
by the Spirit.
Or we tend to be believers ofChrist but not followers in
every area of our lives.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, you know, I'm just reminded of not just being
hearers but also being doers ofthe word and the idea that when
we put Christ at the center,yielding every realm of our life
to him it's particularlycritical when I think about
relationships so to learn to getto the place where Christ is
the foundation, where we'realigning everything, every part
(01:48):
of our being, our soul, ourspirit and our body, with Holy
Spirit, where he's at the center, everything that we do, our
thoughts, our emotions, ouractions, the decisions that we
make, are all rooted in him.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah.
So we're going to give you sometips.
We're going to talk about sometips on how to do this, and tip
number one is really justcommitting to Christ as our
foundation.
I mean, it really starts hereEnsuring we have confessed the
Lord, that he is our savior ofour life and that he died, was
buried and rose again on thethird day.
(02:24):
We acknowledge and repent ofour sins before the Lord, and we
have asked him to baptize uswith his spirit, to come into
our hearts to be our savior andto help us with learning how to
follow him.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Once we have made that commitment, the next tip
that we have, or the advice we'dgive, is aligning our spirit to
his spirit.
This comes by spending timepraising him, worshiping him,
pressing into his word,listening and reading what he
has to say, deep prayer time tomake sure that the connection
(02:58):
that we have with the Lord isgoing deeper and deeper into
intimacy on a daily basis.
By the way, there's no end tothe level of depths that we can
go into our relationship withGod.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And then when we know something is off, because of
that deep connection that wehave and the fact that our
spirits are so aligned, ifsomething's off, we'll be able
to sense it because we'll knowthe connection is a bit out of
whack.
So it's a relationship where weallow ourselves In fact, not
only allowing ourselves, we justget to be loved by God.
And it's not about working toget his approval.
(03:32):
It really is about knowing thatwe are already approved as his
children and adopted childreninto his kingdom.
I think about the fact also,trish, that we were made in the
likeness and image of him.
So really, it's about goingthrough the path of revealing
and getting to the place wherewe have that complete alignment
with the way that he has alreadydesigned us from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, this is really good.
I mean, this is reallyfoundational, right.
The rock Christ is our rock.
And then connecting with theSpirit, with the Holy Spirit,
and being led by him, allowingthe Holy Spirit to lead in every
area of our life.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, so we've established Christ as our
foundation.
We have aligned ourselves, ourspirit with his spirit.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Next, the next step is just pursuing a healthy soul
right.
Our soul is our mind, our willand our emotions.
So first we must renew our mindto God's word, renew our mind
daily to God's word.
Understanding our identity inChrist is the foundation we
build on.
If we don't get this first,it's like a relationship with
(04:40):
him is built on quicksand.
Our mind has to line up to themind of Christ.
We have to think his thoughts,know his thoughts.
The second is our will, right.
That's how we renew our souland have a healthy soul is our
will.
We have to choose.
We have to understand this dancethat we do with Father God.
(05:02):
It's submitting our will to him, just like Jesus said in the
Garden of Gethsemane beforegoing to the cross Father, let
this cup pass before me, yet notmy will, let yours be done.
He submitted his will to theFather.
Oftentimes the Father justwants to see if we're going to
(05:23):
give him first position of ourlife and allow him to lead.
And when he can trust us hewill know he will allow us to
lead in certain areas of ourlife.
God has given us free will, soit's not an obligation to serve
him, it's a privilege.
He is not going to force hiswill onto us.
(05:45):
We have to open our will to himand give him the wheel over our
lives.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, I love that.
What you just said there aboutthe fact that it's a privilege
and the mindset of we get to dothis because of his extravagant
love toward us and that we getto rest in that and walk and
live and breathe and everythingthat we do comes out of that
(06:13):
place, that we get the privilegeto worship and align our will
and submit to his will, asopposed to this duty.
It's not a religious duty, it'snot a checklist that you do on
the to-do list of days live, ofevery day.
It's really just a posture thatwe are in and it's a position
(06:34):
that we place ourselves in tojust say I am yours and you are
mine.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Not my will, but yours.
Be done Right, absolutely.
Yeah, the third part of oursoul is our emotions.
So learning to be led not byour emotions, but allowing our
emotions to be an indicationthat there's something going on
and how to connect with God ondealing with those emotions.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But wait, we worship him in spirit and in truth, and
also when we feel good.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Not necessarily.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No, Not necessarily Okay so talk to me about
emotions as it relates to ourrelationship with the Father.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Well, for example, if we can identify that we're
feeling fearful or angry, it canbe an indication that there's
something going on right to notrespond out of that, but allow
God to work on that anger in usand teach us how to respond in a
way that gives him glory andcan turn our anger into peace
(07:36):
and joy.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But we have to learn not to be afraid of our emotions
.
Some people don't even know howto identify what they're
feeling right, and so it's abouttalking to God about them, when
we're feeling different things,if there are negative emotions
that are coming up, talking tothe Lord about that and asking
him where the root of it comesfrom, asking him to pull that
root and replace it withsomething that he wants.
(08:01):
To replace it with somethinggood.
Maybe it's peace or love or joy.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You know, you just said something.
You said pull that root.
Can you expand on that?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yeah, so when we're just praying to the Lord and
we're talking to him about maybeit's some disappointment that
we have and it's just reallyturned into just a lot of
sadness, even some depression,right, and we're just processing
with him about what we'refeeling and where it came from
and you know the situation thathappened that maybe led us down
this spiral path, he can get tothe root of it.
(08:33):
He can get to the root of thatdepression.
He can pull that depression out.
He can remove the depressionand you can ask Jesus to take
that away.
And he can replace that.
Ask him to replace it withsomething, anything that we pull
out, any sort of root, anegative root that he pulls out.
We always want to have himreplace it with something.
(08:53):
It's like a healing balm thatgoes over that area.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
That's really good, because if we think about
something as being complete,when you pull something out
there can be a void, and what wedon't want to do is allow
something else negative to enterinto that empty space.
And so in that beautifulexchange, you know, he exchanges
beauty for ashes.
Whenever it's taken out, he isalways faithful to replace it
(09:22):
with one of his truths.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Right, absolutely yeah.
So it's just pressing into whatthat truth is.
And the Lord, you know, he madeour emotions and he has
emotions as well, because wewere made in his image, right.
So we are like a reflection ofhim, in a way.
So we start asking Jesus whathis heart is right Like.
I love that.
I love asking Jesus what isyour heart for me?
(09:45):
What is your heart for thissituation that I'm in?
What is your heart for theperson that I'm in?
What is your heart for theperson that I'm having, maybe a
struggle with right now?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And you know, I want to come in on that because, as
we ask these questions, therecan be, let's just say, three
voices that can come back in anygiven situation.
One voice is it could be our ownvoice, right and we could say
we could make up something thatwe think, and then there is a
(10:17):
voice that could come from theenemy in the response as well,
and obviously there is theresponse that comes from the
father.
I want you to test this with me.
One clear indicator is if it'snegative or if it's not lined up
with the scripture nine timesout of ten, you can pretty much
guarantee it's something comingfrom the enemy and you can rule
(10:37):
it out right away.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Like, don't even let that like.
Paul talks about taking ourthoughts into captivity, any
thought that comes from theactivity, it comes from the
enemy.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
We want to capture that and give that to Jesus and
throw it as far away from us asquickly as possible, capture
that and give that to Jesus andthrow it as far away from us as
quickly as possible.
Exactly which is key to whatI'm saying about just renewing
our mind to Christ.
It's knowing the word andrenewing our mind to the word so
then we can decipher thedifference between the truth
from the father and the liesfrom the enemy.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, absolutely.
And then I also believe thatover time, as we do this, we
talked about establishing Christas the foundation, aligning our
will to his will.
There's also aligning sorry,assigning our spirit, and you
said spirit is mind, body, soul.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Our soul is our mind, body and emotions.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Emotions right, and so I guess where I'm going with
this, without me trying to goall the way back, is, over time,
our thoughts become histhoughts.
We align ourselves to a placewhere the way that we're
thinking is the way that he'sthinking.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, absolutely, and sometimes people have a hard
time deciphering between well,is this my thought, then, or is
this God's thought?
But God's thought, he's alwaysfor our good.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
His thoughts are always for us, right, and so
sometimes we can be really hardon ourselves, right.
Sometimes we can be judgmentalof ourselves, sometimes we can
have thoughts that maybe areokay, but they're not like the
goodness of God.
And so that's one way to reallytry to decipher that.
(12:11):
Is this something that I wouldsay to myself, or is this really
coming from the Father?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That's good.
Anything more you want to shareabout this topic?
Did you cover the point aroundtapping into his heart and
understanding what he wants?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah, I mean I think I did.
Yeah, just really asking theLord.
Lord, what do you have for me,what is your heart in this
situation?
What is your heart for me andwhat is your heart for even
maybe the people involved rightand starting to understand.
Have them reveal that to you inyour prayer life, in revealing
(12:48):
the word, certain things, andand he'll highlight certain
things in the word.
But if we have certain memoriesthat are coming up, that are
bringing up negative emotions,we can get healing in that and
it's in those moments that hecan start to heal certain
emotions that we have and beginto develop new ways of thinking
or feeling about differentsituations in our life.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, I agree, and I was just reminded of the fact
that this point is aboutpursuing a healthy soul.
And you know, there's a verycommon saying, which is hurt
people, hurt people.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And so as we gain a healthy soul not everyone's
perfect, including self, andmistakes happen.
Misunderstandings happen,including self, and mistakes
happen.
Misunderstandings happen,missed expectations happen.
But out of a place of a healthysoul, I'd like to think that
our response, the way we respondto those situations, gets
healthier as well.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Exactly, yeah, and being able to understand that
and see that right, which isjust this whole process of going
to the Lord about his heartover the situation.
Because, if you can, about hisheart over the situation,
because if you can see his heartfor the other person, yeah,
maybe they hurt you, maybe theysaid something that was hurtful,
but if you see it from thefather's perspective, maybe
he'll show you why, like, maybethere's something that they're
(14:02):
going through, maybe, like,he'll give you a different
perspective on the situation andon the person.
That helps you to maybe getsome empathy for him right.
100%.
See things in a different way.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, see things in a different way.
And I was just reminded, trish,of the word that came to my
mind as you were just talkingabout that, like how he sees
other people when we're offendedor we're hurt by other people.
The word that came to my mindwas grace, the unlimited grace
that has been given to us,extended to us Right.
(14:34):
The more we tap in and accessthat grace, the better we become
at extending it to others.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Exactly, yeah, exactly.
And we're all talking aboutrelationships here, really right
, we're talking aboutrelationship with the Lord, but
how it impacts our relationshipswith other people and
relationships, if you can thinkof it, there's two bookends that
hold relationships together,and the bookends are love and
(15:04):
grace, and so absolutely, thelove, the grace.
I agree You're saying how hurtpeople hurt other people, but if
you think about it, if youstart becoming healthy, healthy
people can actually love in ahealthy way.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, and we can help create more healthy people,
exactly Recognizing, though,that it's not what we do.
Right, it's what he doesthrough us.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Exactly, it's starting with that foundation,
the foundation of Christ, youknow, being led by the Spirit,
allowing our soul make sure oursoul is healthy and prospering.
Yeah, Amen.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And then we move from pursuing a healthy soul to
allowing our body to be led bythe Spirit and not by our flesh.
By learning to align our spiritwith his, it begins to
influence how we lead our soul,which is our mind, will and
emotions.
Our soul will prosper, as youjust said, but this includes
time, whenever we also need tolike our body.
(16:00):
Like there is.
Our body is a temple, and justover a year and a half ago, you
know, I was not in the mosthealthiest place from a body
standpoint.
Right, my physical healthwasn't where it needed to be,
and I just heard the Lord sayingI needed to take care of myself
If I want to live a long life,and I'm like I want to increase
(16:22):
the chances that I'm going to behere as long as I can for the
assignments that he's placed forme to carry out.
And it took hearing thatinstruction but then being
obedient to the instruction andthat's where I think a lot of
people struggle is thetranslation from.
I got a word from the Lord, butit doesn't really come about
until we activate it in our life.
(16:43):
God told me to do something.
Now I got to do it.
Really key.
Now I got to do it, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Really key, really key, yeah, and even we talk
about reactions.
Right, we can operate out ofbeing led by the spirit or we
can operate out of our emotions.
The fight or flight are justimmediate actions or immediate
responses to people, to people.
But our actions in our body,like those actions that we take
(17:12):
towards other people when wemove, when we speak, when we,
you know, go about ourday-to-day life with our, even
our nonverbal communication,like all of those actions that
our body does.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It really comes from again going back to starting
with the foundations.
Yeah, again going back tostarting with the foundations If
we don't have a healthy mind,we don't have a healthy soul
like our mind, our will and ouremotions.
If those are not healthy, thenour body is not going to do
healthy actions.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, exactly, that's a really good way to bring it
home.
And when I think about thesaying I'm responsible for me
and you're responsible for you,you know we use that a lot in
our relationships and ourcommunication, and we use it
with others that we haverelationships with as well, is
the recognition that I can onlycontrol what I can control and
you are not in my control.
(18:03):
Think about this level ofobedience.
It is about me being obedientto whatever it is that I believe
God is leading me to either say, think or do, and you know, for
example, god might say you needto apologize to that person Now
(18:26):
.
You heard it from the Lord,right?
I heard it from the Lord, butthey're not looking for an
apology, right, they might noteven have been offended, but God
revealed something around,maybe a behavior or an action or
something that we said and hesaid no, you know what.
You need to go apologize forthat.
Now, either we are obedient inthat moment or we're not.
(18:48):
And that's kind of what we'retalking about is, whenever we
get instruction, obey hisinstructions.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, absolutely and obey his instructions.
Yeah, absolutely.
So the last tip that we have isjust building a healthy
relationship that flows out of ahealthy relationship with
Christ.
When we make Christ the centerof everything that we do, in
every area of our life, itbegins to shape our decisions we
make and the people we evensurround ourselves with.
You know, people are notperfect, but how we respond to
(19:18):
people and allow the love of Godto show up in that relationship
impacts the foundations ofthose relationships.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, so key and there's a lot that there's many
directions we could talk aboutthe flow of healthy
relationships.
Sometimes it's recognizing thatsome relationships aren't
healthy.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
And I think back to over the years and sometimes
I've had to say you know what Ilove you and I still wish the
best for you and I have graceover you in our relationship, in
terms of where I'm nurturingand spending my time.
I'm not feeling directed by Godto deepen that relationship.
(20:01):
Let's just say maybe it's moreof an acquaintance, and so I
think about different circleslike concentric circles.
Right there's a bullseye and inthe bullseye might be some of
those closest relationships thatwe have Our children, that we
have Our children, our wife, ourhusband, family members,
parents, like those are the deep, deep, tight relationships and
(20:23):
then you might go one circle outand it could be your best
friend.
It could be other acquaintancesthat you really have, deep
relationships, maybe commoninterests and other things that
you do life together, members atchurch that we do relationship
with, and things like that, likesmall groups, et cetera, where
we're still deepening and we'rewalking together, but it's not
(20:44):
the same types of relationshipsof those in the inner circle,
and then you can go out, and youcan go out, you get the idea
being in touch with the HolySpirit and being able to discern
where am I supposed to beinvesting in relationships, who
are the people that God hasplaced in my life, that he wants
(21:05):
me to walk with, where I'mbuilding, edifying and
encouraging them, and they'rebuilding, edifying and
encouraging me, and we're doingthis thing called life together.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Some are for a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Others might be for a season.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Right and others might be for a moment right.
We might have just moments ofencounters with people that the
Lord put in our path for thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, exactly.
So let's come back to ascripture.
This is one of the scripturesthat we come back to a lot in
the work that we do isEcclesiastes 4.12.
Though one may be overpowered,two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is notquickly broken.
I'm going to give an example,as it relates to our marriage
and how the three strands of acord come together.
(21:55):
Three strands of a cord cometogether.
The way we like to describe itis Christ is the center cord.
I'm a cord, trish is a cord,and we have chosen to wrap or
weave ourselves with him in themiddle.
And, as it says in thisscripture, a cord of three
strands is not quickly broken.
A cord of three strands is notquickly broken.
(22:15):
So, as we place Christ at thecenter, what we've experienced
is he knits us closer to him,but also to each other.
I believe we could apply thatto other relationships, right.
Place Christ at the center ofyour relationship with Ashley,
(22:36):
our daughter, or Olivia, ourother daughter, or Johannes, our
son.
We place Christ at the centerof these relationships and we
allow him to perfect his workand we yield to his will.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Absolutely.
Yeah, love, how you're.
You're to say, yield his will.
Because I think sometimes wecan, especially our children, we
can try to say, well, I'm theparent, so I'm in charge and I'm
in control.
But we know, and yeah, whenthey're little, yeah, absolutely
.
But as they get older, I meanit's like a rope.
I mean you're slowly allowingthe rope, amen, you're letting
more and more freedom into theirlives and allowing them to be
led by the spirit and to makethe good, healthy choices.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And so.
But when they don't make thosechoices, sometimes we want to
step back in and try to be Godfor them, and we can't do that.
We can't take God's position insomeone's life, right.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, that's really good.
I think that's really good,especially from a parenting
standpoint.
You know, because it's becauseI said so I, I, I and you know,
if we do that, we can alsounintentionally, maybe not build
in the healthy habits for themto rely on Christ, because it's
(23:57):
all about what we're directingand instructing them to do and
really what we want to do.
I think the best gift, one ofthe best gifts personally, I
think it's the best is arelationship with the Father.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, where we're helping to come alongside them
and partner with them on how togo to the father themselves, how
to do this relationship withthe father, and so then, when
we're not there, they know howto do that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, yeah, and, by the way, just to this is an
aside, this is bonus material.
Now, just the idea of you know,whenever we make mistakes right
, we make a mess because it'sgoing to happen.
We, we make mistakes, we're notperfect Do we extend that grace
that you were talking about?
Like, how do we represent thefather in a parent-child
relationship?
(24:43):
Because what we don't want todo is create a situation where
they feel shame, guilt and Ican't tell my parents what
happened because of the waythey're going to react.
Right, I want to run to daddyand I want my kids to be
comfortable running to us sothat we can nurture them and
they can see that we are anatural reflection of the way
(25:05):
that our father responds inheaven.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Absolutely yeah.
I mean you're just talkingabout, like, making a mess.
Well, I mean, our daughter,actually recently she's been
getting, she just starteddriving and she's been getting
in little little fender bendersand been gotten a ticket and
just different little things.
And so we're finally likeOlivia, you need to clean up
your mess.
(25:28):
Like, how are you going toclean up this mess?
And so we came to an agreementthat she needed to actually
drive a little less.
Start paying off some of thedebts that she's been incurring
with some of.
Start paying off some of thethe debts that she's been
incurring with some of thedifferent uh, some of the
different, I guess, tickets andthings that she's incurred.
And so, yeah, it's.
It's just about allowing themto take responsibility, learning
(25:50):
to take responsibility fortheir own actions and start
brainstorming for themselvesright, starting to use their own
will to choose to do the rightthing, their own mind, to learn
how to fill their mind withChrist and how to process with
the Lord right, how to get theiremotions in check and replace
(26:11):
those unhealthy emotions withhealthy ones.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Yeah, and you know, I think, if I think about the
world around us, right, there'sso much just words of
destruction and chaos anduncertainty and fear, and I mean
these are challenging times andyou don't have to go very far
to find some negative newsreport and things that aren't
going well, and so this is why Ialso think Christ at the center
(26:38):
is so important.
Right, I think about the goodnews and I think about to deal
with the issues and challengesof life that we are going to
face.
We need him.
We need him.
It says upon this rock I willbuild my church.
It's upon that same rock thatwe built our marriage and we get
(26:59):
the opportunity, or we get theprivilege, to participate in
what he's building and what he'sestablishing.
So having him at the centerbest positions us to be able to
advance the kingdom and make animpact and have healthy
relationships in all aspects andareas of our life.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Absolutely yeah.
So those who are planted in thehouse of the Lord shall
flourish.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
The one thing that is certainly a guarantee is God's
word does not return void.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
God bless you everyone.
Thank you for listening toSeeds for your Marriage with
hosts Trisha and Thomas Walker.
We pray this episode has givenyou tips and tools on how to
thrive in your marriage.
Be sure to subscribe to thispodcast and follow us on
Facebook and Instagram at Trishaand Thomas.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
We wanna hear from you.
Be sure to leave a review andlet us know how we're doing.
It's our desire that thispodcast completely benefits you,
so also, let us know futuremarriage topics that you would
like to hear about.
To learn to get to the place where Christ is the
foundation, where we're aligningeverything, every part of our
being, our soul, our spirit andour body, with Holy Spirit,
where he's at the center.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Tip number one is really just committing to Christ
as our foundation.
I mean, it really starts here.
Seeds for your marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to Conversations with Trisha and
Thomas.
We are, Trisha and ThomasWalker, relationship coaches and
communication experts.
We help couples improve theircommunication, resolve conflict
and achieve God's design for anamazing marriage.
Today, we're going to betalking about what it means to
put and keep Christ at thecenter of our relationships and
(00:44):
to do it in a way where therelationships that we have in
our life are benefited.
And you know, Trish, this isnot an issue until it becomes an
issue.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, do we ever sometimes feel like we're
fighting an uphill battle indifferent areas of our life, or
that we're working againstourselves?
Do we tend to be on the fenceabout aligning our will to God's
will, or even how to do that?
Or we struggle with the abilityto trust God by giving up
control in our life and allowingourselves to be completely led
(01:17):
by the Spirit.
Or we tend to be believers ofChrist but not followers in
every area of our lives.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, you know, I'm just reminded of not just being
hearers but also being doers ofthe word and the idea that when
we put Christ at the center,yielding every realm of our life
to him it's particularlycritical when I think about
relationships so to learn to getto the place where Christ is
the foundation, where we'realigning everything, every part
(01:48):
of our being, our soul, ourspirit and our body, with Holy
Spirit, where he's at the center, everything that we do, our
thoughts, our emotions, ouractions, the decisions that we
make, are all rooted in him.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah.
So we're going to give you sometips.
We're going to talk about sometips on how to do this, and tip
number one is really justcommitting to Christ as our
foundation.
I mean, it really starts hereEnsuring we have confessed the
Lord, that he is our savior ofour life and that he died, was
buried and rose again on thethird day.
(02:24):
We acknowledge and repent ofour sins before the Lord, and we
have asked him to baptize uswith his spirit, to come into
our hearts to be our savior andto help us with learning how to
follow him.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Once we have made that commitment, the next tip
that we have, or the advice we'dgive, is aligning our spirit to
his spirit.
This comes by spending timepraising him, worshiping him,
pressing into his word,listening and reading what he
has to say, deep prayer time tomake sure that the connection
(02:58):
that we have with the Lord isgoing deeper and deeper into
intimacy on a daily basis.
By the way, there's no end tothe level of depths that we can
go into our relationship withGod.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And then when we know something is off, because of
that deep connection that wehave and the fact that our
spirits are so aligned, ifsomething's off, we'll be able
to sense it because we'll knowthe connection is a bit out of
whack.
So it's a relationship where weallow ourselves In fact, not
only allowing ourselves, we justget to be loved by God.
And it's not about working toget his approval.
(03:32):
It really is about knowing thatwe are already approved as his
children and adopted childreninto his kingdom.
I think about the fact also,trish, that we were made in the
likeness and image of him.
So really, it's about goingthrough the path of revealing
and getting to the place wherewe have that complete alignment
with the way that he has alreadydesigned us from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, this is really good.
I mean, this is reallyfoundational, right.
The rock Christ is our rock.
And then connecting with theSpirit, with the Holy Spirit,
and being led by him, allowingthe Holy Spirit to lead in every
area of our life.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, so we've established Christ as our
foundation.
We have aligned ourselves, ourspirit with his spirit.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Next, the next step is just pursuing a healthy soul
right.
Our soul is our mind, our willand our emotions.
So first we must renew our mindto God's word, renew our mind
daily to God's word.
Understanding our identity inChrist is the foundation we
build on.
If we don't get this first,it's like a relationship with
(04:40):
him is built on quicksand.
Our mind has to line up to themind of Christ.
We have to think his thoughts,know his thoughts.
The second is our will, right.
That's how we renew our souland have a healthy soul is our
will.
We have to choose.
We have to understand this dancethat we do with Father God.
(05:02):
It's submitting our will to him, just like Jesus said in the
Garden of Gethsemane beforegoing to the cross Father, let
this cup pass before me, yet notmy will, let yours be done.
He submitted his will to theFather.
Oftentimes the Father justwants to see if we're going to
(05:23):
give him first position of ourlife and allow him to lead.
And when he can trust us hewill know he will allow us to
lead in certain areas of ourlife.
God has given us free will, soit's not an obligation to serve
him, it's a privilege.
He is not going to force hiswill onto us.
(05:45):
We have to open our will to himand give him the wheel over our
lives.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, I love that.
What you just said there aboutthe fact that it's a privilege
and the mindset of we get to dothis because of his extravagant
love toward us and that we getto rest in that and walk and
live and breathe and everythingthat we do comes out of that
(06:13):
place, that we get the privilegeto worship and align our will
and submit to his will, asopposed to this duty.
It's not a religious duty, it'snot a checklist that you do on
the to-do list of days live, ofevery day.
It's really just a posture thatwe are in and it's a position
(06:34):
that we place ourselves in tojust say I am yours and you are
mine.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Not my will, but yours.
Be done Right, absolutely.
Yeah, the third part of oursoul is our emotions.
So learning to be led not byour emotions, but allowing our
emotions to be an indicationthat there's something going on
and how to connect with God ondealing with those emotions.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But wait, we worship him in spirit and in truth, and
also when we feel good.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Not necessarily.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No, Not necessarily Okay so talk to me about
emotions as it relates to ourrelationship with the Father.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Well, for example, if we can identify that we're
feeling fearful or angry, it canbe an indication that there's
something going on right to notrespond out of that, but allow
God to work on that anger in usand teach us how to respond in a
way that gives him glory andcan turn our anger into peace
(07:36):
and joy.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But we have to learn not to be afraid of our emotions
.
Some people don't even know howto identify what they're
feeling right, and so it's abouttalking to God about them, when
we're feeling different things,if there are negative emotions
that are coming up, talking tothe Lord about that and asking
him where the root of it comesfrom, asking him to pull that
root and replace it withsomething that he wants.
(08:01):
To replace it with somethinggood.
Maybe it's peace or love or joy.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You know, you just said something.
You said pull that root.
Can you expand on that?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yeah, so when we're just praying to the Lord and
we're talking to him about maybeit's some disappointment that
we have and it's just reallyturned into just a lot of
sadness, even some depression,right, and we're just processing
with him about what we'refeeling and where it came from
and you know the situation thathappened that maybe led us down
this spiral path, he can get tothe root of it.
(08:33):
He can get to the root of thatdepression.
He can pull that depression out.
He can remove the depressionand you can ask Jesus to take
that away.
And he can replace that.
Ask him to replace it withsomething, anything that we pull
out, any sort of root, anegative root that he pulls out.
We always want to have himreplace it with something.
(08:53):
It's like a healing balm thatgoes over that area.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
That's really good, because if we think about
something as being complete,when you pull something out
there can be a void, and what wedon't want to do is allow
something else negative to enterinto that empty space.
And so in that beautifulexchange, you know, he exchanges
beauty for ashes.
Whenever it's taken out, he isalways faithful to replace it
(09:22):
with one of his truths.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Right, absolutely yeah.
So it's just pressing into whatthat truth is.
And the Lord, you know, he madeour emotions and he has
emotions as well, because wewere made in his image, right.
So we are like a reflection ofhim, in a way.
So we start asking Jesus whathis heart is right Like.
I love that.
I love asking Jesus what isyour heart for me?
(09:45):
What is your heart for thissituation that I'm in?
What is your heart for theperson that I'm in?
What is your heart for theperson that I'm having, maybe a
struggle with right now?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And you know, I want to come in on that because, as
we ask these questions, therecan be, let's just say, three
voices that can come back in anygiven situation.
One voice is it could be our ownvoice, right and we could say
we could make up something thatwe think, and then there is a
(10:17):
voice that could come from theenemy in the response as well,
and obviously there is theresponse that comes from the
father.
I want you to test this with me.
One clear indicator is if it'snegative or if it's not lined up
with the scripture nine timesout of ten, you can pretty much
guarantee it's something comingfrom the enemy and you can rule
(10:37):
it out right away.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Like, don't even let that like.
Paul talks about taking ourthoughts into captivity, any
thought that comes from theactivity, it comes from the
enemy.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
We want to capture that and give that to Jesus and
throw it as far away from us asquickly as possible, capture
that and give that to Jesus andthrow it as far away from us as
quickly as possible.
Exactly which is key to whatI'm saying about just renewing
our mind to Christ.
It's knowing the word andrenewing our mind to the word so
then we can decipher thedifference between the truth
from the father and the liesfrom the enemy.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, absolutely.
And then I also believe thatover time, as we do this, we
talked about establishing Christas the foundation, aligning our
will to his will.
There's also aligning sorry,assigning our spirit, and you
said spirit is mind, body, soul.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Our soul is our mind, body and emotions.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Emotions right, and so I guess where I'm going with
this, without me trying to goall the way back, is, over time,
our thoughts become histhoughts.
We align ourselves to a placewhere the way that we're
thinking is the way that he'sthinking.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, absolutely, and sometimes people have a hard
time deciphering between well,is this my thought, then, or is
this God's thought?
But God's thought, he's alwaysfor our good.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
His thoughts are always for us, right, and so
sometimes we can be really hardon ourselves, right.
Sometimes we can be judgmentalof ourselves, sometimes we can
have thoughts that maybe areokay, but they're not like the
goodness of God.
And so that's one way to reallytry to decipher that.
(12:11):
Is this something that I wouldsay to myself, or is this really
coming from the Father?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That's good.
Anything more you want to shareabout this topic?
Did you cover the point aroundtapping into his heart and
understanding what he wants?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah, I mean I think I did.
Yeah, just really asking theLord.
Lord, what do you have for me,what is your heart in this
situation?
What is your heart for me andwhat is your heart for even
maybe the people involved rightand starting to understand.
Have them reveal that to you inyour prayer life, in revealing
(12:48):
the word, certain things, andand he'll highlight certain
things in the word.
But if we have certain memoriesthat are coming up, that are
bringing up negative emotions,we can get healing in that and
it's in those moments that hecan start to heal certain
emotions that we have and beginto develop new ways of thinking
or feeling about differentsituations in our life.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, I agree, and I was just reminded of the fact
that this point is aboutpursuing a healthy soul.
And you know, there's a verycommon saying, which is hurt
people, hurt people.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And so as we gain a healthy soul not everyone's
perfect, including self, andmistakes happen.
Misunderstandings happen,including self, and mistakes
happen.
Misunderstandings happen,missed expectations happen.
But out of a place of a healthysoul, I'd like to think that
our response, the way we respondto those situations, gets
healthier as well.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Exactly, yeah, and being able to understand that
and see that right, which isjust this whole process of going
to the Lord about his heartover the situation.
Because, if you can, about hisheart over the situation,
because if you can see his heartfor the other person, yeah,
maybe they hurt you, maybe theysaid something that was hurtful,
but if you see it from thefather's perspective, maybe
he'll show you why, like, maybethere's something that they're
(14:02):
going through, maybe, like,he'll give you a different
perspective on the situation andon the person.
That helps you to maybe getsome empathy for him right.
100%.
See things in a different way.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, see things in a different way.
And I was just reminded, trish,of the word that came to my
mind as you were just talkingabout that, like how he sees
other people when we're offendedor we're hurt by other people.
The word that came to my mindwas grace, the unlimited grace
that has been given to us,extended to us Right.
(14:34):
The more we tap in and accessthat grace, the better we become
at extending it to others.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Exactly, yeah, exactly.
And we're all talking aboutrelationships here, really right
, we're talking aboutrelationship with the Lord, but
how it impacts our relationshipswith other people and
relationships, if you can thinkof it, there's two bookends that
hold relationships together,and the bookends are love and
(15:04):
grace, and so absolutely, thelove, the grace.
I agree You're saying how hurtpeople hurt other people, but if
you think about it, if youstart becoming healthy, healthy
people can actually love in ahealthy way.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah, and we can help create more healthy people,
exactly Recognizing, though,that it's not what we do.
Right, it's what he doesthrough us.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Exactly, it's starting with that foundation,
the foundation of Christ, youknow, being led by the Spirit,
allowing our soul make sure oursoul is healthy and prospering.
Yeah, Amen.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And then we move from pursuing a healthy soul to
allowing our body to be led bythe Spirit and not by our flesh.
By learning to align our spiritwith his, it begins to
influence how we lead our soul,which is our mind, will and
emotions.
Our soul will prosper, as youjust said, but this includes
time, whenever we also need tolike our body.
(16:00):
Like there is.
Our body is a temple, and justover a year and a half ago, you
know, I was not in the mosthealthiest place from a body
standpoint.
Right, my physical healthwasn't where it needed to be,
and I just heard the Lord sayingI needed to take care of myself
If I want to live a long life,and I'm like I want to increase
(16:22):
the chances that I'm going to behere as long as I can for the
assignments that he's placed forme to carry out.
And it took hearing thatinstruction but then being
obedient to the instruction andthat's where I think a lot of
people struggle is thetranslation from.
I got a word from the Lord, butit doesn't really come about
until we activate it in our life.
(16:43):
God told me to do something.
Now I got to do it.
Really key.
Now I got to do it, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Really key, really key, yeah, and even we talk
about reactions.
Right, we can operate out ofbeing led by the spirit or we
can operate out of our emotions.
The fight or flight are justimmediate actions or immediate
responses to people, to people.
But our actions in our body,like those actions that we take
(17:12):
towards other people when wemove, when we speak, when we,
you know, go about ourday-to-day life with our, even
our nonverbal communication,like all of those actions that
our body does.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It really comes from again going back to starting
with the foundations.
Yeah, again going back tostarting with the foundations If
we don't have a healthy mind,we don't have a healthy soul
like our mind, our will and ouremotions.
If those are not healthy, thenour body is not going to do
healthy actions.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, exactly, that's a really good way to bring it
home.
And when I think about thesaying I'm responsible for me
and you're responsible for you,you know we use that a lot in
our relationships and ourcommunication, and we use it
with others that we haverelationships with as well, is
the recognition that I can onlycontrol what I can control and
you are not in my control.
(18:03):
Think about this level ofobedience.
It is about me being obedientto whatever it is that I believe
God is leading me to either say, think or do, and you know, for
example, god might say you needto apologize to that person Now
(18:26):
.
You heard it from the Lord,right?
I heard it from the Lord, butthey're not looking for an
apology, right, they might noteven have been offended, but God
revealed something around,maybe a behavior or an action or
something that we said and hesaid no, you know what.
You need to go apologize forthat.
Now, either we are obedient inthat moment or we're not.
(18:48):
And that's kind of what we'retalking about is, whenever we
get instruction, obey hisinstructions.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, absolutely and obey his instructions.
Yeah, absolutely.
So the last tip that we have isjust building a healthy
relationship that flows out of ahealthy relationship with
Christ.
When we make Christ the centerof everything that we do, in
every area of our life, itbegins to shape our decisions we
make and the people we evensurround ourselves with.
You know, people are notperfect, but how we respond to
(19:18):
people and allow the love of Godto show up in that relationship
impacts the foundations ofthose relationships.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, so key and there's a lot that there's many
directions we could talk aboutthe flow of healthy
relationships.
Sometimes it's recognizing thatsome relationships aren't
healthy.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
And I think back to over the years and sometimes
I've had to say you know what Ilove you and I still wish the
best for you and I have graceover you in our relationship, in
terms of where I'm nurturingand spending my time.
I'm not feeling directed by Godto deepen that relationship.
(20:01):
Let's just say maybe it's moreof an acquaintance, and so I
think about different circleslike concentric circles.
Right there's a bullseye and inthe bullseye might be some of
those closest relationships thatwe have Our children, that we
have Our children, our wife, ourhusband, family members,
parents, like those are the deep, deep, tight relationships and
(20:23):
then you might go one circle outand it could be your best
friend.
It could be other acquaintancesthat you really have, deep
relationships, maybe commoninterests and other things that
you do life together, members atchurch that we do relationship
with, and things like that, likesmall groups, et cetera, where
we're still deepening and we'rewalking together, but it's not
(20:44):
the same types of relationshipsof those in the inner circle,
and then you can go out, and youcan go out, you get the idea
being in touch with the HolySpirit and being able to discern
where am I supposed to beinvesting in relationships, who
are the people that God hasplaced in my life, that he wants
(21:05):
me to walk with, where I'mbuilding, edifying and
encouraging them, and they'rebuilding, edifying and
encouraging me, and we're doingthis thing called life together.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Some are for a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Others might be for a season.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Right and others might be for a moment right.
We might have just moments ofencounters with people that the
Lord put in our path for thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, exactly.
So let's come back to ascripture.
This is one of the scripturesthat we come back to a lot in
the work that we do isEcclesiastes 4.12.
Though one may be overpowered,two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is notquickly broken.
I'm going to give an example,as it relates to our marriage
and how the three strands of acord come together.
(21:55):
Three strands of a cord cometogether.
The way we like to describe itis Christ is the center cord.
I'm a cord, trish is a cord,and we have chosen to wrap or
weave ourselves with him in themiddle.
And, as it says in thisscripture, a cord of three
strands is not quickly broken.
A cord of three strands is notquickly broken.
(22:15):
So, as we place Christ at thecenter, what we've experienced
is he knits us closer to him,but also to each other.
I believe we could apply thatto other relationships, right.
Place Christ at the center ofyour relationship with Ashley,
(22:36):
our daughter, or Olivia, ourother daughter, or Johannes, our
son.
We place Christ at the centerof these relationships and we
allow him to perfect his workand we yield to his will.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Absolutely.
Yeah, love, how you're.
You're to say, yield his will.
Because I think sometimes wecan, especially our children, we
can try to say, well, I'm theparent, so I'm in charge and I'm
in control.
But we know, and yeah, whenthey're little, yeah, absolutely
.
But as they get older, I meanit's like a rope.
I mean you're slowly allowingthe rope, amen, you're letting
more and more freedom into theirlives and allowing them to be
led by the spirit and to makethe good, healthy choices.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And so.
But when they don't make thosechoices, sometimes we want to
step back in and try to be Godfor them, and we can't do that.
We can't take God's position insomeone's life, right.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, that's really good.
I think that's really good,especially from a parenting
standpoint.
You know, because it's becauseI said so I, I, I and you know,
if we do that, we can alsounintentionally, maybe not build
in the healthy habits for themto rely on Christ, because it's
(23:57):
all about what we're directingand instructing them to do and
really what we want to do.
I think the best gift, one ofthe best gifts personally, I
think it's the best is arelationship with the Father.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, where we're helping to come alongside them
and partner with them on how togo to the father themselves, how
to do this relationship withthe father, and so then, when
we're not there, they know howto do that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, yeah, and, by the way, just to this is an
aside, this is bonus material.
Now, just the idea of you know,whenever we make mistakes right
, we make a mess because it'sgoing to happen.
We, we make mistakes, we're notperfect Do we extend that grace
that you were talking about?
Like, how do we represent thefather in a parent-child
relationship?
(24:43):
Because what we don't want todo is create a situation where
they feel shame, guilt and Ican't tell my parents what
happened because of the waythey're going to react.
Right, I want to run to daddyand I want my kids to be
comfortable running to us sothat we can nurture them and
they can see that we are anatural reflection of the way
(25:05):
that our father responds inheaven.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Absolutely yeah.
I mean you're just talkingabout, like, making a mess.
Well, I mean, our daughter,actually recently she's been
getting, she just starteddriving and she's been getting
in little little fender bendersand been gotten a ticket and
just different little things.
And so we're finally likeOlivia, you need to clean up
your mess.
(25:28):
Like, how are you going toclean up this mess?
And so we came to an agreementthat she needed to actually
drive a little less.
Start paying off some of thedebts that she's been incurring
with some of.
Start paying off some of thethe debts that she's been
incurring with some of thedifferent uh, some of the
different, I guess, tickets andthings that she's incurred.
And so, yeah, it's.
It's just about allowing themto take responsibility, learning
(25:50):
to take responsibility fortheir own actions and start
brainstorming for themselvesright, starting to use their own
will to choose to do the rightthing, their own mind, to learn
how to fill their mind withChrist and how to process with
the Lord right, how to get theiremotions in check and replace
(26:11):
those unhealthy emotions withhealthy ones.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Yeah, and you know, I think, if I think about the
world around us, right, there'sso much just words of
destruction and chaos anduncertainty and fear, and I mean
these are challenging times andyou don't have to go very far
to find some negative newsreport and things that aren't
going well, and so this is why Ialso think Christ at the center
(26:38):
is so important.
Right, I think about the goodnews and I think about to deal
with the issues and challengesof life that we are going to
face.
We need him.
We need him.
It says upon this rock I willbuild my church.
It's upon that same rock thatwe built our marriage and we get
(26:59):
the opportunity, or we get theprivilege, to participate in
what he's building and what he'sestablishing.
So having him at the centerbest positions us to be able to
advance the kingdom and make animpact and have healthy
relationships in all aspects andareas of our life.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Absolutely yeah.
So those who are planted in thehouse of the Lord shall
flourish.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
The one thing that is certainly a guarantee is God's
word does not return void.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
God bless you everyone.
Thank you for listening toSeeds for your Marriage with
hosts Trisha and Thomas Walker.
We pray this episode has givenyou tips and tools on how to
thrive in your marriage.
Be sure to subscribe to thispodcast and follow us on
Facebook and Instagram at Trishaand Thomas.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
We wanna hear from you.
Be sure to leave a review andlet us know how we're doing.
It's our desire that thispodcast completely benefits you,
so also, let us know futuremarriage topics that you would
like to hear about.
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