Seeing Other People

We're both sick, we slept until noon, and we have a mystery anniversary trip in two days — Jake planned the whole thing and Ilana has no idea where they're going. We talk froyo orders (gummy bears are a crime), the great do-guys-actually-give-each-other-style-feedback debate, and tease next week's recording from wherever they end up. Two listener questions this week: one from someone whose relationship has been conflict-fr...

For so much of my life, I thought certain milestones would fundamentally change me. The relationship, the career growth, the apartment, the race finish line, the goals I spent years chasing. I thought I’d feel more confident, more secure, more fulfilled once I finally got there. But lately, I’ve been realizing how no achievement permanently changes your internal world the way we expect it to. In this solo episode, I’m talk...

Chloe Hechter joins the podcast for a conversation about everything your twenties are actually filled with: changing career paths, feeling behind, navigating dating in New York City, and learning how to stop centering relationships as the main goal. From growing up as a New York theater kid to switching majors in college, going viral online, and finding confidence after years of feeling “too much,” Chloe opens up about rei...

Ilana's recording this one from her deathbed after missing the Brooklyn Half and sleeping the weekend away while Jake walked 25,000 steps to get a burger. Two listener questions this week: a woman who met a guy in Ireland, and booked another trip at his request, and he canceled two weeks out saying he doesn't want long distance — and a woman who got ghosted before a second date, redownloaded the app, and somehow has a new...

Meg Reynolds is back and we get real about what your twenties actually feel like—uncertain, uncomfortable, and constantly shifting. From turning 27 and questioning everything to navigating dating, friendships, and career paths that don’t look how you expected, this is a conversation about letting go of timelines and figuring it out as you go.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

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This week, I’m joined by content creator Annie Jorgensen to talk about what really shifts when you turn 30 and stop looking for someone to complete you. From a major heartbreak (with a cheating ex who had already bought a ring) while all her friends were getting engaged, to rebuilding her confidence and completely changing how she dates, Annie shares how she went from dating for validation to actually asking, “do I even li...

Jake's back from Florida with a roulette win and some bachelor party receipts. Ilana has a major life announcement that's been months (or years) in the making.. Two listener questions: does astrology actually matter in dating, and how do you stop waiting for the other shoe to drop when something finally feels really good?

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

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In this episode, we sit down with Kerry Russo, the creator behind UES Things, to talk about what it actually means to put yourself out there — and why staying in your comfort zone might be the biggest thing holding you back in dating and life. From meeting people in real life to going to events alone, starting conversations, and doing things that feel uncomfortable at first, this conversation is all about taking action ins...

Trevor Hanson is back for part two, and this episode goes even deeper into people pleasing, anxious attachment, and what it really means to feel secure in yourself. We talk about why even secure people can feel anxious in certain relationships, how to stop abandoning yourself to keep others happy, setting boundaries without guilt, and how identifying your values can completely change the way you date and heal.

ALL links her...

Jake's heading to Fort Lauderdale for a bachelor party with zero itinerary and a plan that's basically "watch the Knicks, find a Chili's." We kick things off comparing how differently men and women plan these trips, and it's not even close. We tackle a listener question about bachelorette party costs spiraling out of control and how to set a boundary without being labeled unsupportive. Then, A listener wrote back about l...

Juliette Haas is about to leave a life that works — great friends, a solid routine, and NYC exactly as she always imagined it — to move to London anyway. In this episode, we get into what it really means to choose discomfort on purpose, from solo traveling for the first time to realizing she didn’t want to be the person who only talks about doing things. We talk about growing up online, unlearning toxic wellness habits, na...

Amy Chan returns to Seeing Other People five years after her first appearance to talk about her new book UNSINGLE and what it actually takes to create a healthy, lasting relationship. We talk about why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns, how we're often optimizing for the wrong things, and why chemistry alone isn't enough to build something long-term. Amy shares her “dating funnel” framework to help iden...

We're back with Ilana's LA trip recap, a lot to be grateful for, and two listener questions that made us cry. Ilana returns with two unhinged stories — a barista who said something unhinged to every customer and a saleswoman who congratulated someone on a pregnancy that was very much not happening. We answer a question from a 28-year-old in NYC who's trying not to be bitter about being single, and one that wrecked us both ...

Ryan is a 43-year-old single dad living in a small coastal town in Mississippi, navigating dating with a uniquely small dating pool — and a clear idea of what he wants. After two divorces, gaining full custody of his kids, and years focused on raising them, he’s now approaching life as an empty nester and ready to find a partner.

In this Unfiltered episode, Ryan shares what it’s like dating long-distance, hiring a matchmake...

After going on 150 dates with 60+ people in 10 months, Talia Koren didn’t expect to meet her husband when she did, especially because he wasn’t her type, didn’t give instant sparks, and entered her life while she was still dating other people.

In this episode, Talia shares how dating intentionally and treating dating like a research experiment helped her move on from a six-year relationship, stop chasing chemistry, and reco...

Jake and I catch up on the abandoned 20-week challenge, our first jobs out of college, and a post-wedding brunch we hosted that actually came together really well. Then we tackle a listener question from someone who accidentally went on a Hinge date with her casual boyfriend's friend's roommate (New York City is a very small village), and help her figure out how to have the exclusivity conversation. We wrap with a round of...

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions of emotional abuse, control, isolation, and trauma. In this Unfiltered episode, an anonymous guest shares her experience entering her first relationship at 15 — and how what started as support during a vulnerable time slowly turned into control and isolation. She opens up about the red flags that appeared over time, losing contact with friends and family, feeling trapped, ...

Ali from Finding Mr. Height is back, and this time she’s sharing the story of how she finally met her boyfriend. After years of dating app burnout and multiple first dates every week, she decided to try something different, showing up to real-life events with zero expectations, and one night she almost skipped ended up changing everything. In this episode, we talk about how she met her boyfriend unexpectedly, navigating ea...

This week’s Cohosts for Life, we’re diving into some of your best (and most layered) listener questions yet. From navigating dating while dealing with a potential job loss, to figuring out what to do when a close friend slowly fades out of your life, we’re giving our honest, unfiltered advice. We also talk about family dynamics, what to do when your partner isn’t putting effort into relationships that matter to you, and an...