February 17, 2025 • 60 mins
Ever wondered how some people transform their lives from chaos to clarity? In this episode, we delve into the inspiring journey of Emmy award-winning host Marci Hopkins, who shares her powerful story of overcoming addiction and trauma to find clarity and fulfilment. Through candid insights and reflections, Marci reveals the transformative steps she's taken to reclaim her life and thrive. Tune in to discover how resilience, healing, and a commitment to helping others have paved her path to success. Whether you're on your own journey of self-discovery or seeking inspiration, this episode is a compelling listen.
"Addiction at the end of the day is really just masking a bigger problem." - Marci Hopkins
Access all show and episode resources HERE
About Our Guest:
Marci Hopkins is an Emmy award-winning host known for her talk show, "Wake Up with Marci," which airs on CBS and streaming platforms. With a heart for inspiring stories of transformation, Marci brings a unique perspective as a recovery expert and author of "Chaos to Clarity." Her personal journey from overcoming addiction and trauma to finding peace and purpose has empowered her to become a passionate advocate for survivors of abuse. Marci's dedication to helping others thrive through difficult times is evident in her tireless work supporting women and children in need, making her an influential leader in the realm of hope and healing.
Reasons to Listen:
- Inspiring Journey of Resilience: Listen to Marci Hopkins discuss her profound transformation from a life of chaos and addiction to clarity and peace. Her journey is a testament to the power of perseverance and self-discovery.
- Insights into Overcoming Personal Struggles: Marci shares candidly about her experiences with addiction and trauma, offering valuable insights and practical steps that anyone struggling with similar issues can relate to and learn from.
- Role of Spirituality in Recovery: Discover how a deep connection with a higher power played a crucial role in Marci's journey to sobriety, providing a unique perspective on the importance of spiritual grounding in overcoming life's challenges.
Episode Resources & Action Steps:
Resources Mentioned:
- Wake Up with Marcy – Marci Hopkins is the Emmy award-winning host of this talk show, previously available on CBS and now being relaunched as a podcast. Check out the website for more information: wakeupwithmarcy.com.
- Book: Chaos to Clarity – Written by Marci Hopkins, this book shares her journey from chaos to finding clarity through sobriety and healing. It delves into her personal experiences and insights.
Action Steps:
- Connect with Your Higher Power – Marci emphasized the importance of spirituality in her journey to recovery. Consider incorporating meditation, prayer, or other spiritual practices into your daily routine to foster a deeper connection with your higher power.
- Seek Support and Share Your Story – Marci highlighted the importance of not isolating yourself. Find support groups, whether they are local or online, where you can share your experiences and gain insights from others who have been through similar challenges.
- Change Your Environment – Begin by changing the people, places, and things that may trigger addictive behaviors. Surround yourself with a supportive community and
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I would tell my 12 year old selfthat as difficult as this is, and
(00:11):
for all the pain you're going through,that you will one day understand why.
You had to go through this andthat you will find your knight in
shining armor and you will be loved.
You will find that love in yourlife that you've always been seeking
(00:42):
Ever wondered how some peoplemanaged to overcome seemingly
insurmountable challenges andnot just survive but thrive.
Today we sit down with Marcy Hopkins,a woman whose life story is a
testament to the power of resilienceand the importance of giving back.
Marcy is the Emmy award winninghost of wake up with Marcy, a talk
show with a heart airing on CBS andstreaming platforms where she shares
(01:05):
inspiring stories of transformation.
also a recovery expert, author ofChaos to Clarity, just finished
reading that, and a passionateadvocate for survivors of abuse.
her own struggles with addiction toher tireless work supporting women
and children in need, journey isone of hope, Healing and ultimately
(01:27):
leadership before I get to Marcy.
Speaking of incredible journeys, Ijust want to remind our listeners.
We're about to embark ona milestone of our own.
This is episode as we're counting at two98 of our show, and we are gearing up
for number 300, our 300th episode andbeyond with some truly special guests.
(01:47):
Trust us.
You don't want to miss this.
You don't want to misswhat we have in store.
So make sure you're following andsubscribe wherever you listen or watch.
So you don't miss a single episode.
It's going to be really cool.
So Marcy, we're celebratingand you're getting close.
Welcome to seek, go create
That is so exciting, congratulations!
(02:09):
I'm number 298!
298. Yeah.
Have you ever been able to say that?
Woo hoo.
I'm number 298.
I have not, but I'll celebrate that today.
Good, good, good, good.
Well, let's, I think we shouldcelebrate every day and 298
is something to celebrate.
Marcy, I'm very excitedfor this conversation.
I read your book, lookedat some of your stuff.
(02:30):
It stretched me in some ways and, causedme to think about a lot of things.
And I think we're going to get into thatand have some cool, cool conversations.
Before I do that though, my first.
call it an icebreaker question,but truthfully, it's too much
for an icebreaker question.
You've got a choice.
First question.
Would you rather answer, whatdo you do or who are you?
(02:54):
Pick it and start answering.
I'm gonna say, who am I?
Because that leads to what I do.
So, who am I is Someone that hasovercome some difficulties in life.
Struggles from trauma and addiction.
(03:15):
And overcoming the painand being a victim.
And today I am a survivor anda thriver, like you've said.
And I'm almost 10 years sober, and throughthis journey, I have actually discovered
who I am, what my joys are, what mypassions are, what my purpose is, and
(03:39):
it was by these difficult times and thishuge transformational shift for me that
I was able to go within and identify whatit is that I was put on this earth to do.
And that was.
To be of service to others, to helpothers through difficult times, know
(04:02):
that they are worthy of a beautifullife, just as I have found, and
that your past does not define you.
We have multiple steps that we needto take in this life, and the first
is turning ourselves over to ourhigher power, which is what I did.
But today, because of this work, I amnow doing that, helping others to live
(04:30):
a beautiful successful life throughthe platforms that I have created.
And that is Wake Up WithMarci and my book and beyond.
Yeah, there's a word that justjumped in my head that I'm going to
kind of ask as a follow up and theword is peace Are you at peace I
(04:52):
sense that you are, but answer that.
and then if you're at peace now, canyou go back a little bit and about
when you arrived at that place?
And I know it's part of your story here.
I don't know if I do want to dive intothat, but me what it was like before then.
And then when it occurred.
(05:13):
I will tell you, I mean,I lived in utter chaos.
I mean, my book is chaos toclarity and my life was chaos.
I was raised in chaos.
I was raised in drama.
I was raised with yellingand, and, just dysfunction.
And that's all I knew.
My relationships were dysfunctional.
(05:35):
The way I managed mylife was dysfunctional.
And even though I would always saythat I wanted that to be different,
when that is all, you know, when youdo have peace in any way, your skin
almost crawls and then you create thedrama and, and the chaos for yourself.
(05:56):
It is once.
That I stopped putting when I stoppeddrinking and I put down the one
thing that I thought that was helpingme, but was actually destroying me.
I was able to start thejourney towards peace.
And as I started doing the work,meditating, My gratitude practice,
(06:22):
being very connected to God in adifferent way, I started to find peace.
I wasn't reacting to life anymore.
I became a good mother.
I was a good wife.
I am a good wife and a good mother.
I'm a good friend.
I'm a good leader and I'm all thesethings now because I did the work
(06:48):
and I have found peace within life,even during the difficult times
because I now know how to approach.
Difficult times now.
I look at them as a learning opportunity,even though they're hard to get through.
It doesn't destroy me like it used to.
(07:12):
And so to be in this place of peaceand tranquility, which I do believe
that and part of that is, Being okayto be quiet and alone, it's a beautiful
place to be, and it continues to evolveand get more and more comfortable.
I think your husband's name is Ray.
(07:33):
Is that correct?
That's correct.
I got the impression and correctme if I'm wrong on this, that Ray
grew up in a different atmosphere
Very.
did
would, I'm going to use a few wordsand then you could describe it.
Okay.
One would say it was more peaceful,maybe a bit of a father's knows best.
(07:58):
didn't sound like he came from abroken home or any, any abuse that
was obvious or anything like that andprobably quiet and things like that.
Would all that be accurate?
That would be.
my wife and I are similar,
Mm
grew up in a very challenging,chaotic would be a great word to use.
(08:22):
hmm.
And I grew up in a very, similar to Ray.
So Ray and I are alike,you and my wife are alike.
What are some things that you've learned
Mm
the contrast between those two
hmm.
the
Mm hmm.
I believe we've got two types of peoplelistening in the people that grew up in
(08:45):
like you and my wife That want to learnhow they might continue finding peace
and then the people like us that areattempting To have some compassion and
understanding And go I don't marcie.
I don't get it.
i'm trying to get it And there'sa beautiful story in the book we
might get to later about how youand Ray came to some, I think it
(09:05):
was a real peak in your story, butjust talk about the contrast that
Yeah.
seen
Yeah, it's hard.
I mean, I'll tell you the firstyears of our relationship were very,
very difficult because I reacted,I yelled, that's what I knew.
(09:26):
So if I had an emotion thatdidn't feel good, I would yell.
And for him, there wasno yelling in the house.
His parents didn't fight in front of him.
He didn't understand that.
So he would be like, we must not be goodfor each other because we're yelling.
And that's not normal.
And I'm like, that's normal.
(09:49):
You just work it out or, you know,so I will say it did cause a lot of
problems in our relationship becausewe didn't know how to converse
productively and get through situations.
You know, I used to yell at himthat You should understand, and you
(10:11):
should change for these reasons,and he would just shut down.
And, we never really learned orprogressed through our difficult times.
And what I've learned today, becausethis is what I've, I've had to learn,
and he's had to learn on his side.
(10:32):
So I have learned how to now approach, adifficult conversation in a different way.
Whereas, it's not like, you, you,you, you, it's more, I have felt this
way, or I feel this way, when youhave said this, or you've reacted
(10:52):
in this way, or you don't do this.
and so when I can start the conversationin a way that is not putting him
on the defense, then he is muchmore open to the conversation.
And he's also realized thatcommunication is so important.
(11:14):
Like if we are having a difficult time,just shutting down is not helpful either.
So we have both come together.
And learned how to bettercommunicate with one another.
As we've always heard,communication is key.
But communication is one of thehardest things to do in life.
(11:36):
We aren't really taught how toeffectively communicate with other people.
And so, thankfully now there's alot more conversation around that.
And once you get to a place where you arecomfortable approaching those difficult
conversations and know how to approachthose difficult situations, you can
(11:59):
get so much further in life and build.
Even though it's a difficult conversation,you actually grow through that.
What's fascinating.
I'm smiling and I'm not.
laughing at what you're saying,but I'm smiling about it.
And my wife and I, we, we, wasthis conversation we had, we'd
been married 36 years, I think.
(12:22):
Wow.
and I grew up in this very quietand still, and I don't want to
say unemotional environment, butmaybe that would be accurate.
yeah, I get that.
And my, and I remember like earlyin our marriage, I told my wife,
Gloria, I said, now, listen,
(12:45):
I heard a little bit of yelling, notrelative to what, what I thought.
said, I would really prefer for usto not have yelling in the house.
If we need to communicate,let's sit down and talk.
I will tell you that it didn't, itdidn't entirely work out that way.
Yeah.
anyway, there was one of the thing Iwant to, I want to mention a couple
(13:05):
of things about my wife's situationbecause I kept seeing glimpses.
Of her situation in reading throughyour story and you went through
some you detailed it greatly.
We don't have to go through all ofit But when you were six years old,
there was a situation when you were 12There was a situation and I I have I
may have mentioned this before on thepodcast But if not, we we when we went
(13:30):
we digitized all of our photos and Iwas digitizing all these photos of my
wife and I noticed I mean, we didn'tknow each other then, but as a child,
when she hit eight years old, she hada smile on her face leading up to that.
But then after eight yearsold, she was very somber.
Yeah.
a smile that I saw, almost, I mean,we've even discussed it even through
(13:51):
to, much into her adult years.
That was the year that herbrother died of leukemia, her
younger brother and her, her.
Family was already sort of fallingapart, and that was probably
something that kind of, sped it along.
In your upbringing, and I know thesituation with your mother, you detail
(14:12):
it greatly in the book, is that she wentthrough a lot of challenges and issues.
And my wife's mother was verysimilar, very unstable, and have a
lot of identity and things like that.
Were there times that if I were toscanning the pictures of your childhood,
there would be smiles and all, and thenat six or 12, all of a sudden somber,
(14:35):
or do you have any recollection of joy?
When you were growing up
So, after I was six, yes, Istill had a lot of smiles.
I was a very, very joyful child.
All I wanted to do was give love.
All I wanted to receive was love.
(14:57):
for me to smile was justreally part of my personality.
I will say after the abuse started at12 from my stepfather, My smile changed.
My smile became more not thejoyful, innocent young person.
(15:18):
It was more, maybe a little forcedand maybe a little, sometimes
like a seductive kind of thing.
Because my view of love and, Whatmen wanted and what people I felt
wanted from me was very skewed.
And so I smiled because therewas the camera, but you really,
(15:44):
do see a difference in my smile.
Absolutely.
and so, one of the things that'sinteresting are the people that
you mentioned, one of the thingsthat kind of grabbed me initially
is I think the first boyfriendthat your mother had was named Tim.
So, like in the first few paragraphsof the book, you're, you're saying,
and Tim was this and I'm going,Hmm, little, that's my name too.
(16:08):
And then.
I gotta tell you slight chuckle andI'm not making light of the situation,
but to see the name Richard Dick inwriting and to know that he was the
Dick dick.
Yeah, I
funny, but uh odd, um, one of thethings that I kind of picked up
(16:34):
on a few themes in reading throughthe book and you talk about it some
and I just want to ask about it.
That is that are situations wherepeople are victimized there's no doubt
that when an adult male does somethingsexual with a child, 12 year old that
(16:55):
there is an inappropriate situationthere, but there's also situations
where We start owning the term victimand I think you use the word victim
hood And this is a difficult questionfor someone who hasn't experienced it.
So I hope it's appropriate.
But in looking back, is thereanything that you advise?
(17:21):
Let me tell you one of thereasons for this questions too.
I've got a four year old anda two year old granddaughter.
I know they're going out in theworld and, and I guess I'm just
wondering you could have told your12 year old self or even your six
year old self something, what wouldyou have said that might have helped?
(17:41):
The situation and, and if that'slike a Tim, you don't understand type
question, you could tell me that, but
guess at that time when I was 12 yearsold and my mother married Richard, I
thought he was my knight in shining armor,that I was finally going to have a dad,
(18:01):
that I was going to have this beautifullife, right, with my mother finally.
And no matter what my mother everdid to me in my life, I loved
her with every essence of myself.
And I always wanted her to loveme and be the mom I always wanted.
And so I thought Richard wasgoing to be that answer for us.
(18:23):
So,
when that didn't happen,I continued to seek that.
So I guess that I would, I wouldtell my 12 year old self that
as difficult as this is, and
(18:47):
for all the pain you're going through,that you will one day understand why.
You had to go through this andthat you will find your knight in
shining armor and you will be loved.
You will find that love in yourlife that you've always been seeking
(19:09):
and it seems that around that time youbegan seeking it in a lot of places
that you know, they were unhealthy.
Tell us a little bit about some,cause some, I believe, and you say
this, it was, obviously attractiveand I'm guessing you were also
(19:30):
attractive then and you use that,but then also alcohol was introduced.
Talk about a little bit of bothof that and what that did when
that identity was impacted.
And then you started looking to, bringpeace in through some various avenues.
The reality is, is that you almost,you've become like a shell of yourself.
(19:53):
And like, for me, it became this ideathat, well, all I have to offer is
what I have on the outside, so I needto make that perfect all of the time.
and I need to attract men.
I need to have a man in my life forme to have some sort of validation.
(20:18):
And if I look a certain way, and aman or a teenager, whatever, shows
me attention, and then also am sexualwith them, that I will be loved.
It becomes very skewed as I said,like you want that fulfilling love,
(20:40):
but you don't really know what itlooks like, what it feels like.
You have these protectedbarriers around you.
But the interesting thing is, is thatin that time your exterior and how you
look on the outside and what you dowith your body becomes your superpower.
(21:02):
So I use that for many years asthat's my power and I will control
you by getting what I want.
Does that make sense?
and it works to a certain extent, correct?
you're empty.
And then, you know, when I wasyoung, those younger years, I would
(21:25):
drink to actually do those thingsthat were uncomfortable for me
with a boy, because it'snot like I really wanted to.
I mean, I mean, I, I lost my virginityat 15 and I remember thinking that I had
(21:48):
to do that for that boy to like me more.
And it just became so crazy.
Like, I would be with someone, that'sthe, the unhealthy relationships that
I, that I had throughout my life.
Like it became a cycle.
So I would hook you, bring youin, we would form a relationship.
(22:13):
It was very dysfunctional.
I would be, I would try to change you.
and then I would become unhappy andunfulfilled and then I would go outside of
the relationship and find somebody else.
So that you couldn't hurt me.
I was going to hurt you first and thenI would move on to another relationship.
So it was just never, itreally was never peace.
(22:36):
You know, it was like fun and drinkingand then it was volatile and fighting.
And then it was like going outsideof the relationship and finding
someone else and starting all over.
it was exhausting.
To be honest.
and the alcohol, numbed you, it,
Mm hmm.
A hundred percent.
and numbed you almost at the same time
(23:00):
A hundred percent.
my wife's story.
that she perfection was alsopart of what she was achieving.
Mm hmm.
keep her parents together.
Yeah.
love from her mother and possiblyacceptance from her father who
had abandoned or left them.
so what she did.
went a little bit different way,and she hated men, is what she said,
(23:24):
There's that, too.
which I will tell you, Marcy, made itpretty darn difficult when we bumped into
each other, and I was fairly schmitten,
Yeah.
of the first things out ofher mouth was, I hate men.
I am just so egotistical andarrogant enough to say, Oh, Well,
this could be a bit of a challenge,
(23:46):
I
but
it's always driven by a challenge.
Believe me.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mm hmm.
so what it led to was this, if Idid the math right, 20, 30 years.
Of alcohol abuse and
Yes.
and one of the things you saidI do want to kind of layer this
in I think you brought this intowards the tail end of the book.
(24:07):
You said that your view of yourselfhad been Attractive or that you had
looks But that you didn't feel asif you were intelligent or smart
Yes.
were either one of those lies,
well, what's interesting is ifyou look back at my life, and in
(24:29):
work and all, I was always single.
I was always moving and moving upand people would seek me out and
put, to put me in higher positions.
So I guess I was doing something right.
I'm a very driven person, but as you said,that alcohol would numb me and it didn't
(24:50):
allow me to work at my full capacity.
And so a lot of times when I would drink,I think more of that feeling stupid was
I couldn't think very clearly I wouldsay things that were very embarrassing.
So I was constantly in this cycleof shame about how I was feeling.
(25:13):
And so really it was.
Not trusting myself,not believing in myself.
and the only way that I felt comfortableis if I was having a glass of wine,
and so I think that I know now, Imean, I know I'm not stupid and I
(25:37):
know that I can do whatever I put mymind to, but at that time, I just was.
I was so broken inside and sothe only thing I knew how to do
was, be loving to my children.
My children were everything to me.
(25:57):
and try to keep the facade upof everything looking perfect,
but all the while feeling thatI was nothing but a failure.
What were the ages of yourchildren when, I think is, I
think it was October of 2015.
We'll talk about that in just alittle while, but what were their
(26:19):
ages when you had your moment?
Well, when I
9 and
started drinking, they were nine and 11.
those are some pretty impressionable ages.
Have you had any discussions withthem about what it was like before
(26:40):
and then what it's been like after?
And what do you think theimpact has been on that they've
kind of lived through journey?
Well, honestly, Tim, I was onthat slippery slope of drinking.
But it wasn't like, I wasn'tdrinking to a blackout every night.
(27:01):
I wasn't, you know, it was just, andthere's a lot of women out there,
a lot of men out there, I mean,you're at home and you're having
three, four drinks at a night, right?
And that, That becomes the normand I couldn't go to a restaurant
if they didn't serve alcohol.
And so in my drinking elevated,when I got in front of the camera, I
(27:25):
started using it as liquid courage.
The worst part of that time was, youknow, making difficult, negative,
difficult, disastrous decisionsand things that I was doing.
And then also the, yelling and fightingthat my husband and I were going through.
(27:50):
That was the most impactfultraumatic thing for my son.
My daughter doesn't remember anythingreally, but my son, now that I know
my son as an adult, he's an extremelyintelligent person, so he was taking
in even more than I even understood.
(28:13):
And so, he has had to deal with that.
I thought at that time it was aboutworking on myself and working on
the relationship with my husband.
But the reality was my son wasaffected by what was going on.
And we gave them a lot of reallywonderful years, but now I'm very open
(28:37):
with my book and my public speaking.
And so my son and I havehad those conversations.
My daughter and I have had thoseconversations and what has helped
me be an even better parent.
When it comes to drinking now is thatI educate my daughter You know, she's
(28:57):
exploring the drinking at 19 years old andI'm able to share with her you know how
it affects you the decisions the negativedecisions that you can make how people
will take advantage of you and I Youknow, there's a lot of parents that out
there that just say No, you can't drinkor they kind of perpetuate that drinking
(29:22):
for them you know, they're like feedingthem the alcohol and they think it's fun
to party with their kids and you know,So it's it's just allowed me to be more
of a teacher in that area but I will sayit also gives me a lot of fear because It
is very rampant in my family addiction,so it's scary to watch that, because
(29:47):
I'm not sure what the outcome's goingto be, and I can't control that, right?
So, but I will tell you that weare working on the things that
are needed to be worked on.
For my son, he has his own,mental health struggles.
he has ADHD, he's twice exceptional,he's gone through some depression
(30:10):
and some of that is trauma based.
And so he's working on that right now.
We're working on that as a family.
I actually have come to believe,that it's very difficult for anyone
to go through life without something
Mm hmm.
to cause some issues.
our story is that we were living inresort community, golf courses, blah,
(30:34):
blah, blah, all leading up to 08.
And then five years later, andour kids were at, probably pushing
the ages that you're were yourswere when you became sober.
huh.
we went through financial collapse.
That was just like, me waking upevery morning and just saying,
okay, just keep punching me inthe gut, punch me in the gut.
(30:55):
Because my identity was sort oftied up in I'm good at business.
I'm good at making money.
I'm good at bringing things in.
we're realizing now our children arein their thirties that, you know, there
was pretty, Big impact with traumabecause they bring up trauma and you
know, sometimes people of my generationgo trauma What are you talking about?
You
I know.
(31:15):
come
It's very different.
Uh, but it what it was I mean, you knowWe were in a six thousand square foot
home and then we were my wife and Iwere in a honda van and told the kids
There's no home to come come home to so,
Wow.
a lot of that's been restored but let'stalk about Kind of the the road to
recovery because I think it's a learningand and I I want to layer this in this
(31:38):
your story is alcohol but Addictionsand I and I know there's varying
degrees of the harm that addictionscan have but we're in a society where
there's drugs My addiction more As abusiness person, there was never enough.
(32:03):
And I had a conversation onthe podcast with someone who
had served time in prison.
And I said, how at 32, were you continuingdoing the things you were doing?
As I was addicted to more, Isaid, that's my addiction too.
Yeah.
bit, it's a little bit moreacceptable in our culture and society,
because sometimes it's applauded.
Yeah.
(32:23):
talk about what you've learnedabout addiction in general.
and then we're going to talkabout some things as we wrap up
here with projects you've got inthe book and things like that.
But just what have you learnedabout addiction in general
over the last 10 years,
Well, addiction generally is It's acoping or a masking of a deeper issue.
(32:50):
Something that you are, you know,trying to fill within yourself
because something else is lacking.
The other thing about addiction,whether it's food or, you know,
Workaholic, or working out toomuch, or being on the computer, or
(33:11):
social media, or drinking, or drugs.
It literally all stems from thesame thing, and that is the dopamine
hit that we get within our brain.
And that's the feel good chemicalwithin our brains, right?
So the more we do it, we feel good thefirst time, we feel good the second
time, we feel good the thousandth time,but then it doesn't feel good anymore.
(33:34):
It becomes too much.
Our bodies, our brains, literally haveto rewire the way that we are feeling.
You know, transferring thatdopamine within our brains.
And so that really is at the core.
It makes us feel good.
And so what do we want?
(33:55):
We want to feel good.
We want to be happy.
And it's easier to be happy ifyou're doing these other things.
Because to be fulfilled is work.
It is action.
And there are multiple things thatyou need to do to rewire the way that
(34:18):
you think, rewire the way that we wereprogrammed from when we were raised,
rewire the way that we talk to ourselves,the way we think of ourselves, how we
energetically put ourselves out theretowards the universe and the world.
And there's just so manythings that we need to do and
(34:41):
this is something I've done.
So I know it works.
but addiction at the end of the day isreally just masking a bigger problem.
I've always wondered.
And I actually was thinking throughthis as I was reading through your
book because part of your recoveryprocess was going to AA I so appreciate
(35:05):
in your book, you in your words,walking through the 12 step process.
I want to tell you right up fronthow I appreciated that because
I knew of the 12 step process.
I've never had anyone walk through it kindof in, we'll call it layman's terms, you
Yeah.
big book or anything like that.
Yeah.
And it, at its foundation, it is asurrender to that higher power, which
(35:30):
I would word it as a minister and afollower of Jesus Christ as, and you've
said it similarly, letting Jesus comeinto your life and admitting that
there's something bigger than you.
How important is I mean, because Ithink what we begin doing, I would put
my business, you know, expertise airquotes for those that are not watching
(35:54):
this on the video higher than myrelationship with my heavenly father
Oh, of course.
to me like your alcohol and thingslike that you elevated it we call it
idols, I guess in church world, butAren't it doesn't it seem like most
of us are going through this lifelooking at putting many things Above
(36:15):
that relationship with, with God.
Yeah, yeah, listen, I was raised inchurch, but just life was so chaotic
that it didn't, it didn't stay with me.
I always believed in God.
I always loved God, and Jesus.
But when I got sober and there was alittle church, most AA meetings are
(36:43):
held at a church, there was a little,church, Attached to the place that we
had the meeting and I would go intothis little church, and I just started
slowly becoming more connected andgrounded and quiet, and there was a lamb,
(37:03):
a little picture of a lamb, literallylike this big, and it had a gold lamb
with a red felt back, and it was framed.
And I would just look at thislamb and I was just like,
Jesus saved me.
Jesus come into my heart.
And if you get, if I get throughthis, I will always follow you.
(37:29):
I will always, you will be my shepherd.
And it is, you know, inchurch, we're always taught.
He's just waiting for you to ask.
and when that happened, it really,there, there, and it wasn't just one
time, I mean, it was over and over.
(37:50):
And I started practicing everymorning, praying to God and
there was, a YouTube video.
I mean, we're talking almost 10years later, I still go to this
YouTube video connecting to God.
And it's not any specificreligion or anything.
It's about truly, cause I think ofGod now, like we're raised to almost
(38:12):
think of like this man with, you know,silver hair and a silver beard in the
sky and he's bigger than all of us.
Right.
But it's just this divine energy of loveand we're all connected by this love.
And that's.
So now I just feel that I envision thatI, and then I see myself in Jesus's arms.
(38:36):
And it's just my connection today isso, so very, very different and it has
saved me and I do it every day becauseit is a practice to stay connected.
So as you're saying, Right, all theseother things become more important
(38:57):
and we and and God or our divineor Universe, whatever because it's
down here, but we work every day.
We're not doing that practice everyday So that's why you have to make that
practice every day and then the work youstill can do the work But it's almost
(39:19):
more fulfilling and you're better at itWhen you have that connection and you make
God, Universe, the Divine, the priority.
Right.
that has changed, significantly for me.
And that's why today it is thenumber one practice for me.
(39:41):
Do you think you're almost 10 years sober?
Congratulations.
Do you think that there is any way youcould have had one year to 10 years
sober without that spiritual foundation?
Not at all.
you've been around anumber of people with AA.
Do you believe that thatis the common thread?
When you work the program and you dothe foundational steps, and that's
(40:06):
one of the reasons I shared, 'causemost people don't know, right?
They're outside and they don't reallyknow what it is, but those steps.
No matter who you are, willbenefit you in your life.
it helped me get sober, but whatit really helped me to do was heal.
(40:27):
I had been through therapy.
I had been through all the things, right?
But when I started doing thatwork, it was completely different.
I mean, AA is really based,it's a spiritual based program.
So, that's why I shared that.
Well, one of the things that cameto mind while I was reading through
(40:49):
your book, this, it's a little bit ofa, we just talk spiritual now on it.
I believe we are spirit, soul, and body.
That's what we're made up of.
And one of the things that Ithought of while reading through
this was, what is the physical?
Implications of someone who's drinking.
you use the term almost daily.
(41:11):
So I'm assuming you're drinkingalmost daily for that length of time.
I did the math.
I don't know if it was 30 years or 20something years or something like that.
Can you, do you noticeanything physically?
I believe that you can also be healed.
I believe that God can healthat and restore all that.
But do you notice anythingthat you tell yourself?
(41:33):
That's probably a repercussionfrom somewhat abusing myself
physically for a period of time.
Does that make sense?
For me, no.
I don't have any repercussionsat this time from that.
Right.
At the time, I was verypuffy and I couldn't sleep.
(41:55):
I was also going throughperimenopause, which is another
huge factor I've realized.
post, my addiction and that,that in my forties, how
difficult that time was for me.
I also had a lot of burning in my stomach.
I'm sure that I was eating away the, youknow, the lining of my stomach probably.
(42:16):
so there were a lot of issues there.
but I would say that I'm,I'm very healthy today.
one of the things I'm curious about is.
I know you've been through AA.
I know you've done throughall that, but are there other
that one puts up?
(42:37):
I mean, let's, let's look atmen that are addicted to porn.
One of the things that theywill do is stay offline.
and, and, and I think in your book, youmentioned one point that was, you were
alone in the house and you had a brieffleeting thought of, of having a drink.
And so I was actually curious, wasthere still alcohol in the house?
(42:58):
what do you do when you go out withother people that may be drinking?
We actually, we have a, wherewe're at here in this resort,
we're having a happy hour tonight.
It's not totally dedicated to drinking,but there'll be probably a little
bit of wine and something like that.
Do you, you go to those things?
What, what would thatlook like for you now?
(43:19):
Well, today, sometimes I feel like I'ma bit of an anomaly because I don't
go to the 12 step program anymore.
And I have no problem withhaving alcohol around me at all.
There's alcohol in the house.
I go to functions all the time.
It does not bother me at all.
(43:40):
I would never, never, I mean,you can't say I won't ever,
but can't predict the future.
But what I have, I would never everwant to give up for any amount of
alcohol, but in the beginning whenyou're starting, just like anything,
when you're changing a bad habit oran addiction to something, there are
(44:02):
multiple things that you have to change.
There's many things that you learnwithin the meetings, that help you.
The first thing is, and this iswith anything, you need to change
the people, places, and things, thethings that trigger you to drink.
and yes, you need to takeit all out of your house.
and you can't go to the same restaurants.
(44:24):
You can't necessarily hang around thesame people because if you're drinking,
you're probably hanging around peoplethat are drinking like you or more.
Or, you know, so you don'tfeel bad about yourself.
you do have to change.
and for instance, that,incident that you're talking
about that I shared in my book.
my husband traveled a lot and if you'realone, you can do anything, but who
(44:47):
knows, you're full of guilt over that.
And I didn't want tolive with that anymore.
And so one of the thingsthat I had learned was move
a muscle, change a thought.
You can only think aboutone thing at one time.
So I was laying on the couch,I was watching a movie.
And, I thought about, oh, if I hadsome wine right now, no one would know.
(45:08):
But I got up and I actually went andgot the big book and I did something
else, you know, so, and that's withanything, you know, so if you're at
a party, make sure you drive your owncar so you can leave, make yourself
useful, always make yourself useful.
That's a big thing.
Don't put yourself in a situation ifyou think that you're going to fail.
(45:31):
make sure you've eaten, makesure you drink, enough water.
So there's just all these things.
I mean, I could go down a million lists.
I've got a whole toolboxI've actually put together.
I have so many freebies that I have,but you know, that's a big one for me.
And, but there's many, many toolsthat you must implement in your
life to help you to be successful.
(45:54):
I, my favorite, let me just goahead and say this were naps.
you promoted naps and you know,people that are achievement
oriented, we think naps are forlosers or sissies or whatever word.
you know what?
I actually believe we'rea fatigued society.
(46:15):
And when we're fatigued,we make poor choices.
I think being restedis very important now.
Now I'm in my sixties, so I'vegot different mindset about that.
Yeah.
used to think that way.
I used to be hustle, hustle, hustle.
And it sounds like you were inindustries that were similar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, so one of the things that we hearin our, in our current culture is the
(46:40):
need to be authentic and vulnerableand share and all of these things.
I don't think you're of my generation.
You're a generation behind me,but, it's one thing to go through
what you went through, Marcy.
another thing to all of a sudden say,I'm going to share it with the world.
(47:00):
Yeah.
What, what's up with that?
I mean, I mean, here I am, I'm ona podcast and I've shared my story.
I actually have in some of my quiet timeswith the Lord, I'll say, Lord, is this
something I just need to keep to myself ordo I need to talk about it with Marcy so
that the world can hear it on YouTube andtell me a little bit about the process of
(47:22):
going from deal with it on my own, keepit quiet within the family, et cetera.
Or wake up with Marcy, writea book, talk about that.
Well, first of all, I'll say, if youstay isolated, quiet, and keep it in
your family, you're going to stay sick.
(47:43):
sharing your story is so, soimportant for your healing.
Doesn't need to be with the world, butit is so important to talk about things,
get perspectives from other people.
They allow you to, get advice andpeople out there that can help you
and you don't feel alone and you don'tfeel stuck and you don't feel like
(48:05):
you're the only one going through it.
so I think that that'sreally, really important.
It wasn't like I initially juststarted sharing with everyone.
I started healing and there were somethings that I was going through and my
book has to clarity seeing the signs.
Seeing the signs and breaking the cycle.
(48:26):
So seeing the signs, I startedseeing signs from the other side.
I started being guided.
As to what it is that I was meant to do.
And so sharing my story, writinga book, starting a TV show.
I mean, I can't even fathom thatI've done all of these things,
(48:50):
but I was so guided to do them.
And when I listened and startedpursuing those things, there were people
that were brought into my life that.
It helped me to moveforward to make it possible.
And I just listened to my inner intuition.
(49:12):
We must listen to our intuition.
And I just knew that it was theright thing to do to help other
people, to not feel by themselves.
not feel alone.
And, and it was hard in the beginning.
Listen, I used to feel like,God, I'm going to be so judged
in my community, you know?
(49:33):
but I, I just, I've always asked God whenI started this to that I'm your conduit.
But just please speak through me,and to help me make a difference.
I think there's so much power in that.
My story is similar.
(49:54):
When we went through all that we wentthrough in my identity wrapped up
in, I'm a successful business person.
And then I started feeling this nudgeto do a podcast wanted to interview
all these people and stuff like that.
the Lord.
Literally told me no You have to tellyour story first and the first episode
is titled homeless and bankrupt ournumber one episode So we're close
(50:17):
to 300 now and I have a pretty aboutconfidence and stuff like that But
you could hear my voice quivering
hmm,
to that where i'm like goingI don't want to share this.
I don't and then so many people rightaway said Thank you for sharing that
because we went through similar things.
We did this and all of that.
(50:37):
How do you put part of what we'vedone here, Marcy, with this podcast
is we've tried to kind of bust up,paradigms about what success is.
hmm.
How were you defining successsay pre 2015 and how are you
defining success right now?
(50:58):
Well, success was
by
getting validation fromother people all the time.
I was a victim of wanting more also.
It was just no matter whatI did, it never was enough.
(51:19):
And so I was always striving for more.
And I always needed someone to tellme how good I was doing, right?
Today, listen, I still can be alittle insecure at times, right?
(51:40):
We're all human.
but what really defines success forme today is, If it is at the core,
if I am happy, if it feels good,
and it benefits me and my family, likeif it's right, if it's right, if it
(52:05):
is at the expense of my family, myhappiness, then it is not success.
Uh huh.
Uh
of goes back to, that childlike joy thatwe talked about earlier that I saw in
my wife and you said that you had it,it's like, it's hard to know it, but you
(52:26):
know, it, you know, it, and, and, youknow, we've used the word peace also,
there's just this peace that happens.
And, I can.
Kind of tell, like I said, I had to do alittle bit of research on you here over
the last few days, and I'm like going,this doesn't seem like someone spent 30
years, drinking almost every day thatdid all that you talked about doing That
(52:51):
was one of the fascinating things aboutthe book to me how quickly it read.
And you were, it wasn't like you werematter of factly going through those
things, but you sort of were, you werejust sort of like just putting it out
there and it just read very quickly.
And I actually believe it's, foranyone who's probably going through
(53:13):
some type of struggle, I thinkit would be a blessing to them.
Marcy, for people that want more ofyou, tell us now where they could find.
I've got, it's on my Kindle here.
huh.
but tell us where they can find you.
You've got a show.
(53:33):
I think that's out there I foundit on youtube this morning.
I'm pointing to my tvfor people wondering.
TV here in the rv us where peoplecan find you We'll put it down in the
notes and then I got one more questionI want to ask you before we wrap up
Well, everything is on wakeupwithmarci.
com and I will tell you mynew guided mission in life.
(53:56):
I have retired the talk show.
I haven't retired from doing a talk show,but I have retired the show on WLNY TV.
I shot my last episode last week.
And I moved to Florida, tobe a snowbird until May.
And, I'm extremely happy.
(54:18):
And what I'm doing now isI am launching my show.
I'm continuing with the name WakeUp With Marci because I've had
the branding for seven years.
I'm just changing look and it'sgoing to be more geared as a podcast
because you can reach people globally.
You can deep dive into conversationswhere you can't do that on a TV show.
(54:40):
You've got like seven, eightminutes or four minutes.
It's just very, very tight.
And so my dream has to always been toreally fully connect with somebody.
And share their stories to createchange and you can't do that when
you have a TV show necessarily.
(55:02):
So, I've launched, launching mypodcast, March 1st, Wake Up With
Marci, A Deep Dive Into Self Discovery.
And, and I'm partnering with USA Today,the, the media, um, conglom, conglomerate.
Did I say the word right?
the big company the media big company.
(55:23):
We'll call it
Company, we'll keep it small.
but there, I've had thisopportunity to partner with them.
So I'm going to have also, some ofmy show that will be on USA Today.
So I'm just very excited about that.
And so hopefully Your listeners,will maybe find some joy and
(55:47):
peace and change within that.
So,
That's exciting.
Boy, this would have been a greatconversation too, is you have probably
seen such a change in the world of media
Oh,
television and things like that.
love pivot or the adjustment that you'remaking, because when I even saw it, that
you had like a local type show that waspicked up and broadcast different places.
(56:12):
I was thinking in my mind,I said, you know what?
I haven't seen that in a while.
yeah.
the podcast world, so, you know, peopleare doing this and they've got YouTube.
And I believe that that is going togo extremely, extremely well for you.
And we'll look forward to seeing andhearing some more information from that.
And, if we can help you with anypart of it, just let me know.
(56:34):
Marcy, I had a final question.
I'm going to call an audible.
I'm going to ask you to do something,I believe that there are people out
there that might be going throughsome type of an addiction and this
conversation may have helped them realizeit and, you know, it could be alcohol,
(56:55):
drug, could be any number of things.
going to ask you to, I hate to limit 30seconds or something, just look in the
camera speaking in the microphone and.
Encourage them, tell them something.
I don't know what it would be.
We'll kind of let the Lord maybe guideyou here, if someone is struggling
with things like maybe you were 2015,would you want to tell that person?
(57:24):
I've been there.
I've been where you are right now.
And it is a very scary time.
You feel very alone.
You feel that there's no answer.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel.
But I will tell you that you're not alone.
There's so much help and there's so muchbeauty through recovery and you are meant
(57:49):
to live an incredibly beautiful lifeand that your past does not define you.
And you are worthy.
You are worthy of happiness and thataddiction does not have to keep you stuck.
It is possible to move forward.
(58:11):
I promise you that.
Thank you for that, Marcy.
I'm glad I did something different there.
What an incredible conversationwith Marcy Hopkins.
Make sure you get a copy ofgoing to try to hold it up here.
Chaos to clarity is on my Kindle.
So it probably doesn't lookas good as the actual cover.
and I want to remind people, checkeverything out down in the links below.
(58:33):
Get ready, because like we mentionedearlier, our next few episodes are
going to be epic celebrating 300super big and all we've got two of our
most popular guests from five yearsago when we got started coming back.
Silicon Valley veteran and originalNetflix startup six member Jim cook
and businesses mission evangelist Mikebear They're gonna be our guest and
(58:55):
there'll be one more guest that I willtell you It's probably the biggest
guest we've ever had on the show.
I'm not gonna tell you just yet,but They'll be sharing insights
on the past five years and alsopredictions for the next five.
So make sure you subscribe.
Don't miss these anniversary episodes.
Go check out everythingMarcy talked about.
Look for her new podcast, wakeup with Marcy that's coming out.
(59:18):
She said March 1st, depending onwhen you're listening to this.
Until next time, continue beingall that you were created to be.
I would tell my 12 year old selfthat as difficult as this is, and
(00:11):
for all the pain you're going through,that you will one day understand why.
You had to go through this andthat you will find your knight in
shining armor and you will be loved.
You will find that love in yourlife that you've always been seeking
(00:42):
Ever wondered how some peoplemanaged to overcome seemingly
insurmountable challenges andnot just survive but thrive.
Today we sit down with Marcy Hopkins,a woman whose life story is a
testament to the power of resilienceand the importance of giving back.
Marcy is the Emmy award winninghost of wake up with Marcy, a talk
show with a heart airing on CBS andstreaming platforms where she shares
(01:05):
inspiring stories of transformation.
also a recovery expert, author ofChaos to Clarity, just finished
reading that, and a passionateadvocate for survivors of abuse.
her own struggles with addiction toher tireless work supporting women
and children in need, journey isone of hope, Healing and ultimately
(01:27):
leadership before I get to Marcy.
Speaking of incredible journeys, Ijust want to remind our listeners.
We're about to embark ona milestone of our own.
This is episode as we're counting at two98 of our show, and we are gearing up
for number 300, our 300th episode andbeyond with some truly special guests.
(01:47):
Trust us.
You don't want to miss this.
You don't want to misswhat we have in store.
So make sure you're following andsubscribe wherever you listen or watch.
So you don't miss a single episode.
It's going to be really cool.
So Marcy, we're celebratingand you're getting close.
Welcome to seek, go create
That is so exciting, congratulations!
(02:09):
I'm number 298!
298. Yeah.
Have you ever been able to say that?
Woo hoo.
I'm number 298.
I have not, but I'll celebrate that today.
Good, good, good, good.
Well, let's, I think we shouldcelebrate every day and 298
is something to celebrate.
Marcy, I'm very excitedfor this conversation.
I read your book, lookedat some of your stuff.
(02:30):
It stretched me in some ways and, causedme to think about a lot of things.
And I think we're going to get into thatand have some cool, cool conversations.
Before I do that though, my first.
call it an icebreaker question,but truthfully, it's too much
for an icebreaker question.
You've got a choice.
First question.
Would you rather answer, whatdo you do or who are you?
(02:54):
Pick it and start answering.
I'm gonna say, who am I?
Because that leads to what I do.
So, who am I is Someone that hasovercome some difficulties in life.
Struggles from trauma and addiction.
(03:15):
And overcoming the painand being a victim.
And today I am a survivor anda thriver, like you've said.
And I'm almost 10 years sober, and throughthis journey, I have actually discovered
who I am, what my joys are, what mypassions are, what my purpose is, and
(03:39):
it was by these difficult times and thishuge transformational shift for me that
I was able to go within and identify whatit is that I was put on this earth to do.
And that was.
To be of service to others, to helpothers through difficult times, know
(04:02):
that they are worthy of a beautifullife, just as I have found, and
that your past does not define you.
We have multiple steps that we needto take in this life, and the first
is turning ourselves over to ourhigher power, which is what I did.
But today, because of this work, I amnow doing that, helping others to live
(04:30):
a beautiful successful life throughthe platforms that I have created.
And that is Wake Up WithMarci and my book and beyond.
Yeah, there's a word that justjumped in my head that I'm going to
kind of ask as a follow up and theword is peace Are you at peace I
(04:52):
sense that you are, but answer that.
and then if you're at peace now, canyou go back a little bit and about
when you arrived at that place?
And I know it's part of your story here.
I don't know if I do want to dive intothat, but me what it was like before then.
And then when it occurred.
(05:13):
I will tell you, I mean,I lived in utter chaos.
I mean, my book is chaos toclarity and my life was chaos.
I was raised in chaos.
I was raised in drama.
I was raised with yellingand, and, just dysfunction.
And that's all I knew.
My relationships were dysfunctional.
(05:35):
The way I managed mylife was dysfunctional.
And even though I would always saythat I wanted that to be different,
when that is all, you know, when youdo have peace in any way, your skin
almost crawls and then you create thedrama and, and the chaos for yourself.
(05:56):
It is once.
That I stopped putting when I stoppeddrinking and I put down the one
thing that I thought that was helpingme, but was actually destroying me.
I was able to start thejourney towards peace.
And as I started doing the work,meditating, My gratitude practice,
(06:22):
being very connected to God in adifferent way, I started to find peace.
I wasn't reacting to life anymore.
I became a good mother.
I was a good wife.
I am a good wife and a good mother.
I'm a good friend.
I'm a good leader and I'm all thesethings now because I did the work
(06:48):
and I have found peace within life,even during the difficult times
because I now know how to approach.
Difficult times now.
I look at them as a learning opportunity,even though they're hard to get through.
It doesn't destroy me like it used to.
(07:12):
And so to be in this place of peaceand tranquility, which I do believe
that and part of that is, Being okayto be quiet and alone, it's a beautiful
place to be, and it continues to evolveand get more and more comfortable.
I think your husband's name is Ray.
(07:33):
Is that correct?
That's correct.
I got the impression and correctme if I'm wrong on this, that Ray
grew up in a different atmosphere
Very.
did
would, I'm going to use a few wordsand then you could describe it.
Okay.
One would say it was more peaceful,maybe a bit of a father's knows best.
(07:58):
didn't sound like he came from abroken home or any, any abuse that
was obvious or anything like that andprobably quiet and things like that.
Would all that be accurate?
That would be.
my wife and I are similar,
Mm
grew up in a very challenging,chaotic would be a great word to use.
(08:22):
hmm.
And I grew up in a very, similar to Ray.
So Ray and I are alike,you and my wife are alike.
What are some things that you've learned
Mm
the contrast between those two
hmm.
the
Mm hmm.
I believe we've got two types of peoplelistening in the people that grew up in
(08:45):
like you and my wife That want to learnhow they might continue finding peace
and then the people like us that areattempting To have some compassion and
understanding And go I don't marcie.
I don't get it.
i'm trying to get it And there'sa beautiful story in the book we
might get to later about how youand Ray came to some, I think it
(09:05):
was a real peak in your story, butjust talk about the contrast that
Yeah.
seen
Yeah, it's hard.
I mean, I'll tell you the firstyears of our relationship were very,
very difficult because I reacted,I yelled, that's what I knew.
(09:26):
So if I had an emotion thatdidn't feel good, I would yell.
And for him, there wasno yelling in the house.
His parents didn't fight in front of him.
He didn't understand that.
So he would be like, we must not be goodfor each other because we're yelling.
And that's not normal.
And I'm like, that's normal.
(09:49):
You just work it out or, you know,so I will say it did cause a lot of
problems in our relationship becausewe didn't know how to converse
productively and get through situations.
You know, I used to yell at himthat You should understand, and you
(10:11):
should change for these reasons,and he would just shut down.
And, we never really learned orprogressed through our difficult times.
And what I've learned today, becausethis is what I've, I've had to learn,
and he's had to learn on his side.
(10:32):
So I have learned how to now approach, adifficult conversation in a different way.
Whereas, it's not like, you, you,you, you, it's more, I have felt this
way, or I feel this way, when youhave said this, or you've reacted
(10:52):
in this way, or you don't do this.
and so when I can start the conversationin a way that is not putting him
on the defense, then he is muchmore open to the conversation.
And he's also realized thatcommunication is so important.
(11:14):
Like if we are having a difficult time,just shutting down is not helpful either.
So we have both come together.
And learned how to bettercommunicate with one another.
As we've always heard,communication is key.
But communication is one of thehardest things to do in life.
(11:36):
We aren't really taught how toeffectively communicate with other people.
And so, thankfully now there's alot more conversation around that.
And once you get to a place where you arecomfortable approaching those difficult
conversations and know how to approachthose difficult situations, you can
(11:59):
get so much further in life and build.
Even though it's a difficult conversation,you actually grow through that.
What's fascinating.
I'm smiling and I'm not.
laughing at what you're saying,but I'm smiling about it.
And my wife and I, we, we, wasthis conversation we had, we'd
been married 36 years, I think.
(12:22):
Wow.
and I grew up in this very quietand still, and I don't want to
say unemotional environment, butmaybe that would be accurate.
yeah, I get that.
And my, and I remember like earlyin our marriage, I told my wife,
Gloria, I said, now, listen,
(12:45):
I heard a little bit of yelling, notrelative to what, what I thought.
said, I would really prefer for usto not have yelling in the house.
If we need to communicate,let's sit down and talk.
I will tell you that it didn't, itdidn't entirely work out that way.
Yeah.
anyway, there was one of the thing Iwant to, I want to mention a couple
(13:05):
of things about my wife's situationbecause I kept seeing glimpses.
Of her situation in reading throughyour story and you went through
some you detailed it greatly.
We don't have to go through all ofit But when you were six years old,
there was a situation when you were 12There was a situation and I I have I
may have mentioned this before on thepodcast But if not, we we when we went
(13:30):
we digitized all of our photos and Iwas digitizing all these photos of my
wife and I noticed I mean, we didn'tknow each other then, but as a child,
when she hit eight years old, she hada smile on her face leading up to that.
But then after eight yearsold, she was very somber.
Yeah.
a smile that I saw, almost, I mean,we've even discussed it even through
(13:51):
to, much into her adult years.
That was the year that herbrother died of leukemia, her
younger brother and her, her.
Family was already sort of fallingapart, and that was probably
something that kind of, sped it along.
In your upbringing, and I know thesituation with your mother, you detail
(14:12):
it greatly in the book, is that she wentthrough a lot of challenges and issues.
And my wife's mother was verysimilar, very unstable, and have a
lot of identity and things like that.
Were there times that if I were toscanning the pictures of your childhood,
there would be smiles and all, and thenat six or 12, all of a sudden somber,
(14:35):
or do you have any recollection of joy?
When you were growing up
So, after I was six, yes, Istill had a lot of smiles.
I was a very, very joyful child.
All I wanted to do was give love.
All I wanted to receive was love.
(14:57):
for me to smile was justreally part of my personality.
I will say after the abuse started at12 from my stepfather, My smile changed.
My smile became more not thejoyful, innocent young person.
(15:18):
It was more, maybe a little forcedand maybe a little, sometimes
like a seductive kind of thing.
Because my view of love and, Whatmen wanted and what people I felt
wanted from me was very skewed.
And so I smiled because therewas the camera, but you really,
(15:44):
do see a difference in my smile.
Absolutely.
and so, one of the things that'sinteresting are the people that
you mentioned, one of the thingsthat kind of grabbed me initially
is I think the first boyfriendthat your mother had was named Tim.
So, like in the first few paragraphsof the book, you're, you're saying,
and Tim was this and I'm going,Hmm, little, that's my name too.
(16:08):
And then.
I gotta tell you slight chuckle andI'm not making light of the situation,
but to see the name Richard Dick inwriting and to know that he was the
Dick dick.
Yeah, I
funny, but uh odd, um, one of thethings that I kind of picked up
(16:34):
on a few themes in reading throughthe book and you talk about it some
and I just want to ask about it.
That is that are situations wherepeople are victimized there's no doubt
that when an adult male does somethingsexual with a child, 12 year old that
(16:55):
there is an inappropriate situationthere, but there's also situations
where We start owning the term victimand I think you use the word victim
hood And this is a difficult questionfor someone who hasn't experienced it.
So I hope it's appropriate.
But in looking back, is thereanything that you advise?
(17:21):
Let me tell you one of thereasons for this questions too.
I've got a four year old anda two year old granddaughter.
I know they're going out in theworld and, and I guess I'm just
wondering you could have told your12 year old self or even your six
year old self something, what wouldyou have said that might have helped?
(17:41):
The situation and, and if that'slike a Tim, you don't understand type
question, you could tell me that, but
guess at that time when I was 12 yearsold and my mother married Richard, I
thought he was my knight in shining armor,that I was finally going to have a dad,
(18:01):
that I was going to have this beautifullife, right, with my mother finally.
And no matter what my mother everdid to me in my life, I loved
her with every essence of myself.
And I always wanted her to loveme and be the mom I always wanted.
And so I thought Richard wasgoing to be that answer for us.
(18:23):
So,
when that didn't happen,I continued to seek that.
So I guess that I would, I wouldtell my 12 year old self that
as difficult as this is, and
(18:47):
for all the pain you're going through,that you will one day understand why.
You had to go through this andthat you will find your knight in
shining armor and you will be loved.
You will find that love in yourlife that you've always been seeking
(19:09):
and it seems that around that time youbegan seeking it in a lot of places
that you know, they were unhealthy.
Tell us a little bit about some,cause some, I believe, and you say
this, it was, obviously attractiveand I'm guessing you were also
(19:30):
attractive then and you use that,but then also alcohol was introduced.
Talk about a little bit of bothof that and what that did when
that identity was impacted.
And then you started looking to, bringpeace in through some various avenues.
The reality is, is that you almost,you've become like a shell of yourself.
(19:53):
And like, for me, it became this ideathat, well, all I have to offer is
what I have on the outside, so I needto make that perfect all of the time.
and I need to attract men.
I need to have a man in my life forme to have some sort of validation.
(20:18):
And if I look a certain way, and aman or a teenager, whatever, shows
me attention, and then also am sexualwith them, that I will be loved.
It becomes very skewed as I said,like you want that fulfilling love,
(20:40):
but you don't really know what itlooks like, what it feels like.
You have these protectedbarriers around you.
But the interesting thing is, is thatin that time your exterior and how you
look on the outside and what you dowith your body becomes your superpower.
(21:02):
So I use that for many years asthat's my power and I will control
you by getting what I want.
Does that make sense?
and it works to a certain extent, correct?
you're empty.
And then, you know, when I wasyoung, those younger years, I would
(21:25):
drink to actually do those thingsthat were uncomfortable for me
with a boy, because it'snot like I really wanted to.
I mean, I mean, I, I lost my virginityat 15 and I remember thinking that I had
(21:48):
to do that for that boy to like me more.
And it just became so crazy.
Like, I would be with someone, that'sthe, the unhealthy relationships that
I, that I had throughout my life.
Like it became a cycle.
So I would hook you, bring youin, we would form a relationship.
(22:13):
It was very dysfunctional.
I would be, I would try to change you.
and then I would become unhappy andunfulfilled and then I would go outside of
the relationship and find somebody else.
So that you couldn't hurt me.
I was going to hurt you first and thenI would move on to another relationship.
So it was just never, itreally was never peace.
(22:36):
You know, it was like fun and drinkingand then it was volatile and fighting.
And then it was like going outsideof the relationship and finding
someone else and starting all over.
it was exhausting.
To be honest.
and the alcohol, numbed you, it,
Mm hmm.
A hundred percent.
and numbed you almost at the same time
(23:00):
A hundred percent.
my wife's story.
that she perfection was alsopart of what she was achieving.
Mm hmm.
keep her parents together.
Yeah.
love from her mother and possiblyacceptance from her father who
had abandoned or left them.
so what she did.
went a little bit different way,and she hated men, is what she said,
(23:24):
There's that, too.
which I will tell you, Marcy, made itpretty darn difficult when we bumped into
each other, and I was fairly schmitten,
Yeah.
of the first things out ofher mouth was, I hate men.
I am just so egotistical andarrogant enough to say, Oh, Well,
this could be a bit of a challenge,
(23:46):
I
but
it's always driven by a challenge.
Believe me.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mm hmm.
so what it led to was this, if Idid the math right, 20, 30 years.
Of alcohol abuse and
Yes.
and one of the things you saidI do want to kind of layer this
in I think you brought this intowards the tail end of the book.
(24:07):
You said that your view of yourselfhad been Attractive or that you had
looks But that you didn't feel asif you were intelligent or smart
Yes.
were either one of those lies,
well, what's interesting is ifyou look back at my life, and in
(24:29):
work and all, I was always single.
I was always moving and moving upand people would seek me out and
put, to put me in higher positions.
So I guess I was doing something right.
I'm a very driven person, but as you said,that alcohol would numb me and it didn't
(24:50):
allow me to work at my full capacity.
And so a lot of times when I would drink,I think more of that feeling stupid was
I couldn't think very clearly I wouldsay things that were very embarrassing.
So I was constantly in this cycleof shame about how I was feeling.
(25:13):
And so really it was.
Not trusting myself,not believing in myself.
and the only way that I felt comfortableis if I was having a glass of wine,
and so I think that I know now, Imean, I know I'm not stupid and I
(25:37):
know that I can do whatever I put mymind to, but at that time, I just was.
I was so broken inside and sothe only thing I knew how to do
was, be loving to my children.
My children were everything to me.
(25:57):
and try to keep the facade upof everything looking perfect,
but all the while feeling thatI was nothing but a failure.
What were the ages of yourchildren when, I think is, I
think it was October of 2015.
We'll talk about that in just alittle while, but what were their
(26:19):
ages when you had your moment?
Well, when I
9 and
started drinking, they were nine and 11.
those are some pretty impressionable ages.
Have you had any discussions withthem about what it was like before
(26:40):
and then what it's been like after?
And what do you think theimpact has been on that they've
kind of lived through journey?
Well, honestly, Tim, I was onthat slippery slope of drinking.
But it wasn't like, I wasn'tdrinking to a blackout every night.
(27:01):
I wasn't, you know, it was just, andthere's a lot of women out there,
a lot of men out there, I mean,you're at home and you're having
three, four drinks at a night, right?
And that, That becomes the normand I couldn't go to a restaurant
if they didn't serve alcohol.
And so in my drinking elevated,when I got in front of the camera, I
(27:25):
started using it as liquid courage.
The worst part of that time was, youknow, making difficult, negative,
difficult, disastrous decisionsand things that I was doing.
And then also the, yelling and fightingthat my husband and I were going through.
(27:50):
That was the most impactfultraumatic thing for my son.
My daughter doesn't remember anythingreally, but my son, now that I know
my son as an adult, he's an extremelyintelligent person, so he was taking
in even more than I even understood.
(28:13):
And so, he has had to deal with that.
I thought at that time it was aboutworking on myself and working on
the relationship with my husband.
But the reality was my son wasaffected by what was going on.
And we gave them a lot of reallywonderful years, but now I'm very open
(28:37):
with my book and my public speaking.
And so my son and I havehad those conversations.
My daughter and I have had thoseconversations and what has helped
me be an even better parent.
When it comes to drinking now is thatI educate my daughter You know, she's
(28:57):
exploring the drinking at 19 years old andI'm able to share with her you know how
it affects you the decisions the negativedecisions that you can make how people
will take advantage of you and I Youknow, there's a lot of parents that out
there that just say No, you can't drinkor they kind of perpetuate that drinking
(29:22):
for them you know, they're like feedingthem the alcohol and they think it's fun
to party with their kids and you know,So it's it's just allowed me to be more
of a teacher in that area but I will sayit also gives me a lot of fear because It
is very rampant in my family addiction,so it's scary to watch that, because
(29:47):
I'm not sure what the outcome's goingto be, and I can't control that, right?
So, but I will tell you that weare working on the things that
are needed to be worked on.
For my son, he has his own,mental health struggles.
he has ADHD, he's twice exceptional,he's gone through some depression
(30:10):
and some of that is trauma based.
And so he's working on that right now.
We're working on that as a family.
I actually have come to believe,that it's very difficult for anyone
to go through life without something
Mm hmm.
to cause some issues.
our story is that we were living inresort community, golf courses, blah,
(30:34):
blah, blah, all leading up to 08.
And then five years later, andour kids were at, probably pushing
the ages that you're were yourswere when you became sober.
huh.
we went through financial collapse.
That was just like, me waking upevery morning and just saying,
okay, just keep punching me inthe gut, punch me in the gut.
(30:55):
Because my identity was sort oftied up in I'm good at business.
I'm good at making money.
I'm good at bringing things in.
we're realizing now our children arein their thirties that, you know, there
was pretty, Big impact with traumabecause they bring up trauma and you
know, sometimes people of my generationgo trauma What are you talking about?
You
I know.
(31:15):
come
It's very different.
Uh, but it what it was I mean, you knowWe were in a six thousand square foot
home and then we were my wife and Iwere in a honda van and told the kids
There's no home to come come home to so,
Wow.
a lot of that's been restored but let'stalk about Kind of the the road to
recovery because I think it's a learningand and I I want to layer this in this
(31:38):
your story is alcohol but Addictionsand I and I know there's varying
degrees of the harm that addictionscan have but we're in a society where
there's drugs My addiction more As abusiness person, there was never enough.
(32:03):
And I had a conversation onthe podcast with someone who
had served time in prison.
And I said, how at 32, were you continuingdoing the things you were doing?
As I was addicted to more, Isaid, that's my addiction too.
Yeah.
bit, it's a little bit moreacceptable in our culture and society,
because sometimes it's applauded.
Yeah.
(32:23):
talk about what you've learnedabout addiction in general.
and then we're going to talkabout some things as we wrap up
here with projects you've got inthe book and things like that.
But just what have you learnedabout addiction in general
over the last 10 years,
Well, addiction generally is It's acoping or a masking of a deeper issue.
(32:50):
Something that you are, you know,trying to fill within yourself
because something else is lacking.
The other thing about addiction,whether it's food or, you know,
Workaholic, or working out toomuch, or being on the computer, or
(33:11):
social media, or drinking, or drugs.
It literally all stems from thesame thing, and that is the dopamine
hit that we get within our brain.
And that's the feel good chemicalwithin our brains, right?
So the more we do it, we feel good thefirst time, we feel good the second
time, we feel good the thousandth time,but then it doesn't feel good anymore.
(33:34):
It becomes too much.
Our bodies, our brains, literally haveto rewire the way that we are feeling.
You know, transferring thatdopamine within our brains.
And so that really is at the core.
It makes us feel good.
And so what do we want?
(33:55):
We want to feel good.
We want to be happy.
And it's easier to be happy ifyou're doing these other things.
Because to be fulfilled is work.
It is action.
And there are multiple things thatyou need to do to rewire the way that
(34:18):
you think, rewire the way that we wereprogrammed from when we were raised,
rewire the way that we talk to ourselves,the way we think of ourselves, how we
energetically put ourselves out theretowards the universe and the world.
And there's just so manythings that we need to do and
(34:41):
this is something I've done.
So I know it works.
but addiction at the end of the day isreally just masking a bigger problem.
I've always wondered.
And I actually was thinking throughthis as I was reading through your
book because part of your recoveryprocess was going to AA I so appreciate
(35:05):
in your book, you in your words,walking through the 12 step process.
I want to tell you right up fronthow I appreciated that because
I knew of the 12 step process.
I've never had anyone walk through it kindof in, we'll call it layman's terms, you
Yeah.
big book or anything like that.
Yeah.
And it, at its foundation, it is asurrender to that higher power, which
(35:30):
I would word it as a minister and afollower of Jesus Christ as, and you've
said it similarly, letting Jesus comeinto your life and admitting that
there's something bigger than you.
How important is I mean, because Ithink what we begin doing, I would put
my business, you know, expertise airquotes for those that are not watching
(35:54):
this on the video higher than myrelationship with my heavenly father
Oh, of course.
to me like your alcohol and thingslike that you elevated it we call it
idols, I guess in church world, butAren't it doesn't it seem like most
of us are going through this lifelooking at putting many things Above
(36:15):
that relationship with, with God.
Yeah, yeah, listen, I was raised inchurch, but just life was so chaotic
that it didn't, it didn't stay with me.
I always believed in God.
I always loved God, and Jesus.
But when I got sober and there was alittle church, most AA meetings are
(36:43):
held at a church, there was a little,church, Attached to the place that we
had the meeting and I would go intothis little church, and I just started
slowly becoming more connected andgrounded and quiet, and there was a lamb,
(37:03):
a little picture of a lamb, literallylike this big, and it had a gold lamb
with a red felt back, and it was framed.
And I would just look at thislamb and I was just like,
Jesus saved me.
Jesus come into my heart.
And if you get, if I get throughthis, I will always follow you.
(37:29):
I will always, you will be my shepherd.
And it is, you know, inchurch, we're always taught.
He's just waiting for you to ask.
and when that happened, it really,there, there, and it wasn't just one
time, I mean, it was over and over.
(37:50):
And I started practicing everymorning, praying to God and
there was, a YouTube video.
I mean, we're talking almost 10years later, I still go to this
YouTube video connecting to God.
And it's not any specificreligion or anything.
It's about truly, cause I think ofGod now, like we're raised to almost
(38:12):
think of like this man with, you know,silver hair and a silver beard in the
sky and he's bigger than all of us.
Right.
But it's just this divine energy of loveand we're all connected by this love.
And that's.
So now I just feel that I envision thatI, and then I see myself in Jesus's arms.
(38:36):
And it's just my connection today isso, so very, very different and it has
saved me and I do it every day becauseit is a practice to stay connected.
So as you're saying, Right, all theseother things become more important
(38:57):
and we and and God or our divineor Universe, whatever because it's
down here, but we work every day.
We're not doing that practice everyday So that's why you have to make that
practice every day and then the work youstill can do the work But it's almost
(39:19):
more fulfilling and you're better at itWhen you have that connection and you make
God, Universe, the Divine, the priority.
Right.
that has changed, significantly for me.
And that's why today it is thenumber one practice for me.
(39:41):
Do you think you're almost 10 years sober?
Congratulations.
Do you think that there is any way youcould have had one year to 10 years
sober without that spiritual foundation?
Not at all.
you've been around anumber of people with AA.
Do you believe that thatis the common thread?
When you work the program and you dothe foundational steps, and that's
(40:06):
one of the reasons I shared, 'causemost people don't know, right?
They're outside and they don't reallyknow what it is, but those steps.
No matter who you are, willbenefit you in your life.
it helped me get sober, but whatit really helped me to do was heal.
(40:27):
I had been through therapy.
I had been through all the things, right?
But when I started doing thatwork, it was completely different.
I mean, AA is really based,it's a spiritual based program.
So, that's why I shared that.
Well, one of the things that cameto mind while I was reading through
(40:49):
your book, this, it's a little bit ofa, we just talk spiritual now on it.
I believe we are spirit, soul, and body.
That's what we're made up of.
And one of the things that Ithought of while reading through
this was, what is the physical?
Implications of someone who's drinking.
you use the term almost daily.
(41:11):
So I'm assuming you're drinkingalmost daily for that length of time.
I did the math.
I don't know if it was 30 years or 20something years or something like that.
Can you, do you noticeanything physically?
I believe that you can also be healed.
I believe that God can healthat and restore all that.
But do you notice anythingthat you tell yourself?
(41:33):
That's probably a repercussionfrom somewhat abusing myself
physically for a period of time.
Does that make sense?
For me, no.
I don't have any repercussionsat this time from that.
Right.
At the time, I was verypuffy and I couldn't sleep.
(41:55):
I was also going throughperimenopause, which is another
huge factor I've realized.
post, my addiction and that,that in my forties, how
difficult that time was for me.
I also had a lot of burning in my stomach.
I'm sure that I was eating away the, youknow, the lining of my stomach probably.
(42:16):
so there were a lot of issues there.
but I would say that I'm,I'm very healthy today.
one of the things I'm curious about is.
I know you've been through AA.
I know you've done throughall that, but are there other
that one puts up?
(42:37):
I mean, let's, let's look atmen that are addicted to porn.
One of the things that theywill do is stay offline.
and, and, and I think in your book, youmentioned one point that was, you were
alone in the house and you had a brieffleeting thought of, of having a drink.
And so I was actually curious, wasthere still alcohol in the house?
(42:58):
what do you do when you go out withother people that may be drinking?
We actually, we have a, wherewe're at here in this resort,
we're having a happy hour tonight.
It's not totally dedicated to drinking,but there'll be probably a little
bit of wine and something like that.
Do you, you go to those things?
What, what would thatlook like for you now?
(43:19):
Well, today, sometimes I feel like I'ma bit of an anomaly because I don't
go to the 12 step program anymore.
And I have no problem withhaving alcohol around me at all.
There's alcohol in the house.
I go to functions all the time.
It does not bother me at all.
(43:40):
I would never, never, I mean,you can't say I won't ever,
but can't predict the future.
But what I have, I would never everwant to give up for any amount of
alcohol, but in the beginning whenyou're starting, just like anything,
when you're changing a bad habit oran addiction to something, there are
(44:02):
multiple things that you have to change.
There's many things that you learnwithin the meetings, that help you.
The first thing is, and this iswith anything, you need to change
the people, places, and things, thethings that trigger you to drink.
and yes, you need to takeit all out of your house.
and you can't go to the same restaurants.
(44:24):
You can't necessarily hang around thesame people because if you're drinking,
you're probably hanging around peoplethat are drinking like you or more.
Or, you know, so you don'tfeel bad about yourself.
you do have to change.
and for instance, that,incident that you're talking
about that I shared in my book.
my husband traveled a lot and if you'realone, you can do anything, but who
(44:47):
knows, you're full of guilt over that.
And I didn't want tolive with that anymore.
And so one of the thingsthat I had learned was move
a muscle, change a thought.
You can only think aboutone thing at one time.
So I was laying on the couch,I was watching a movie.
And, I thought about, oh, if I hadsome wine right now, no one would know.
(45:08):
But I got up and I actually went andgot the big book and I did something
else, you know, so, and that's withanything, you know, so if you're at
a party, make sure you drive your owncar so you can leave, make yourself
useful, always make yourself useful.
That's a big thing.
Don't put yourself in a situation ifyou think that you're going to fail.
(45:31):
make sure you've eaten, makesure you drink, enough water.
So there's just all these things.
I mean, I could go down a million lists.
I've got a whole toolboxI've actually put together.
I have so many freebies that I have,but you know, that's a big one for me.
And, but there's many, many toolsthat you must implement in your
life to help you to be successful.
(45:54):
I, my favorite, let me just goahead and say this were naps.
you promoted naps and you know,people that are achievement
oriented, we think naps are forlosers or sissies or whatever word.
you know what?
I actually believe we'rea fatigued society.
(46:15):
And when we're fatigued,we make poor choices.
I think being restedis very important now.
Now I'm in my sixties, so I'vegot different mindset about that.
Yeah.
used to think that way.
I used to be hustle, hustle, hustle.
And it sounds like you were inindustries that were similar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, so one of the things that we hearin our, in our current culture is the
(46:40):
need to be authentic and vulnerableand share and all of these things.
I don't think you're of my generation.
You're a generation behind me,but, it's one thing to go through
what you went through, Marcy.
another thing to all of a sudden say,I'm going to share it with the world.
(47:00):
Yeah.
What, what's up with that?
I mean, I mean, here I am, I'm ona podcast and I've shared my story.
I actually have in some of my quiet timeswith the Lord, I'll say, Lord, is this
something I just need to keep to myself ordo I need to talk about it with Marcy so
that the world can hear it on YouTube andtell me a little bit about the process of
(47:22):
going from deal with it on my own, keepit quiet within the family, et cetera.
Or wake up with Marcy, writea book, talk about that.
Well, first of all, I'll say, if youstay isolated, quiet, and keep it in
your family, you're going to stay sick.
(47:43):
sharing your story is so, soimportant for your healing.
Doesn't need to be with the world, butit is so important to talk about things,
get perspectives from other people.
They allow you to, get advice andpeople out there that can help you
and you don't feel alone and you don'tfeel stuck and you don't feel like
(48:05):
you're the only one going through it.
so I think that that'sreally, really important.
It wasn't like I initially juststarted sharing with everyone.
I started healing and there were somethings that I was going through and my
book has to clarity seeing the signs.
Seeing the signs and breaking the cycle.
(48:26):
So seeing the signs, I startedseeing signs from the other side.
I started being guided.
As to what it is that I was meant to do.
And so sharing my story, writinga book, starting a TV show.
I mean, I can't even fathom thatI've done all of these things,
(48:50):
but I was so guided to do them.
And when I listened and startedpursuing those things, there were people
that were brought into my life that.
It helped me to moveforward to make it possible.
And I just listened to my inner intuition.
(49:12):
We must listen to our intuition.
And I just knew that it was theright thing to do to help other
people, to not feel by themselves.
not feel alone.
And, and it was hard in the beginning.
Listen, I used to feel like,God, I'm going to be so judged
in my community, you know?
(49:33):
but I, I just, I've always asked God whenI started this to that I'm your conduit.
But just please speak through me,and to help me make a difference.
I think there's so much power in that.
My story is similar.
(49:54):
When we went through all that we wentthrough in my identity wrapped up
in, I'm a successful business person.
And then I started feeling this nudgeto do a podcast wanted to interview
all these people and stuff like that.
the Lord.
Literally told me no You have to tellyour story first and the first episode
is titled homeless and bankrupt ournumber one episode So we're close
(50:17):
to 300 now and I have a pretty aboutconfidence and stuff like that But
you could hear my voice quivering
hmm,
to that where i'm like goingI don't want to share this.
I don't and then so many people rightaway said Thank you for sharing that
because we went through similar things.
We did this and all of that.
(50:37):
How do you put part of what we'vedone here, Marcy, with this podcast
is we've tried to kind of bust up,paradigms about what success is.
hmm.
How were you defining successsay pre 2015 and how are you
defining success right now?
(50:58):
Well, success was
by
getting validation fromother people all the time.
I was a victim of wanting more also.
It was just no matter whatI did, it never was enough.
(51:19):
And so I was always striving for more.
And I always needed someone to tellme how good I was doing, right?
Today, listen, I still can be alittle insecure at times, right?
(51:40):
We're all human.
but what really defines success forme today is, If it is at the core,
if I am happy, if it feels good,
and it benefits me and my family, likeif it's right, if it's right, if it
(52:05):
is at the expense of my family, myhappiness, then it is not success.
Uh huh.
Uh
of goes back to, that childlike joy thatwe talked about earlier that I saw in
my wife and you said that you had it,it's like, it's hard to know it, but you
(52:26):
know, it, you know, it, and, and, youknow, we've used the word peace also,
there's just this peace that happens.
And, I can.
Kind of tell, like I said, I had to do alittle bit of research on you here over
the last few days, and I'm like going,this doesn't seem like someone spent 30
years, drinking almost every day thatdid all that you talked about doing That
(52:51):
was one of the fascinating things aboutthe book to me how quickly it read.
And you were, it wasn't like you werematter of factly going through those
things, but you sort of were, you werejust sort of like just putting it out
there and it just read very quickly.
And I actually believe it's, foranyone who's probably going through
(53:13):
some type of struggle, I thinkit would be a blessing to them.
Marcy, for people that want more ofyou, tell us now where they could find.
I've got, it's on my Kindle here.
huh.
but tell us where they can find you.
You've got a show.
(53:33):
I think that's out there I foundit on youtube this morning.
I'm pointing to my tvfor people wondering.
TV here in the rv us where peoplecan find you We'll put it down in the
notes and then I got one more questionI want to ask you before we wrap up
Well, everything is on wakeupwithmarci.
com and I will tell you mynew guided mission in life.
(53:56):
I have retired the talk show.
I haven't retired from doing a talk show,but I have retired the show on WLNY TV.
I shot my last episode last week.
And I moved to Florida, tobe a snowbird until May.
And, I'm extremely happy.
(54:18):
And what I'm doing now isI am launching my show.
I'm continuing with the name WakeUp With Marci because I've had
the branding for seven years.
I'm just changing look and it'sgoing to be more geared as a podcast
because you can reach people globally.
You can deep dive into conversationswhere you can't do that on a TV show.
(54:40):
You've got like seven, eightminutes or four minutes.
It's just very, very tight.
And so my dream has to always been toreally fully connect with somebody.
And share their stories to createchange and you can't do that when
you have a TV show necessarily.
(55:02):
So, I've launched, launching mypodcast, March 1st, Wake Up With
Marci, A Deep Dive Into Self Discovery.
And, and I'm partnering with USA Today,the, the media, um, conglom, conglomerate.
Did I say the word right?
the big company the media big company.
(55:23):
We'll call it
Company, we'll keep it small.
but there, I've had thisopportunity to partner with them.
So I'm going to have also, some ofmy show that will be on USA Today.
So I'm just very excited about that.
And so hopefully Your listeners,will maybe find some joy and
(55:47):
peace and change within that.
So,
That's exciting.
Boy, this would have been a greatconversation too, is you have probably
seen such a change in the world of media
Oh,
television and things like that.
love pivot or the adjustment that you'remaking, because when I even saw it, that
you had like a local type show that waspicked up and broadcast different places.
(56:12):
I was thinking in my mind,I said, you know what?
I haven't seen that in a while.
yeah.
the podcast world, so, you know, peopleare doing this and they've got YouTube.
And I believe that that is going togo extremely, extremely well for you.
And we'll look forward to seeing andhearing some more information from that.
And, if we can help you with anypart of it, just let me know.
(56:34):
Marcy, I had a final question.
I'm going to call an audible.
I'm going to ask you to do something,I believe that there are people out
there that might be going throughsome type of an addiction and this
conversation may have helped them realizeit and, you know, it could be alcohol,
(56:55):
drug, could be any number of things.
going to ask you to, I hate to limit 30seconds or something, just look in the
camera speaking in the microphone and.
Encourage them, tell them something.
I don't know what it would be.
We'll kind of let the Lord maybe guideyou here, if someone is struggling
with things like maybe you were 2015,would you want to tell that person?
(57:24):
I've been there.
I've been where you are right now.
And it is a very scary time.
You feel very alone.
You feel that there's no answer.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel.
But I will tell you that you're not alone.
There's so much help and there's so muchbeauty through recovery and you are meant
(57:49):
to live an incredibly beautiful lifeand that your past does not define you.
And you are worthy.
You are worthy of happiness and thataddiction does not have to keep you stuck.
It is possible to move forward.
(58:11):
I promise you that.
Thank you for that, Marcy.
I'm glad I did something different there.
What an incredible conversationwith Marcy Hopkins.
Make sure you get a copy ofgoing to try to hold it up here.
Chaos to clarity is on my Kindle.
So it probably doesn't lookas good as the actual cover.
and I want to remind people, checkeverything out down in the links below.
(58:33):
Get ready, because like we mentionedearlier, our next few episodes are
going to be epic celebrating 300super big and all we've got two of our
most popular guests from five yearsago when we got started coming back.
Silicon Valley veteran and originalNetflix startup six member Jim cook
and businesses mission evangelist Mikebear They're gonna be our guest and
(58:55):
there'll be one more guest that I willtell you It's probably the biggest
guest we've ever had on the show.
I'm not gonna tell you just yet,but They'll be sharing insights
on the past five years and alsopredictions for the next five.
So make sure you subscribe.
Don't miss these anniversary episodes.
Go check out everythingMarcy talked about.
Look for her new podcast, wakeup with Marcy that's coming out.
(59:18):
She said March 1st, depending onwhen you're listening to this.
Until next time, continue beingall that you were created to be.
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