April 10, 2024 • 16 mins
Picture the ever-busy professional, juggling a myriad of tasks with the grace of a seasoned juggler, all while maintaining a heart of gold. This week on the Self-Care Society podcast, Kerri Shaw had the opportunity to sit down with Izzy Hutchinson, whose dedication to community health and tackling food insecurity in Appalachia is nothing short of inspiring. She's not just tackling the challenges of her demanding role, but also providing a roadmap for those seeking to balance a high-impact career with personal well-being.
Throughout this conversation, Izzy peeled back the layers of the professional persona to reveal her true self—a data-loving, video game-playing, service-oriented individual with a deep commitment to addressing the social determinants of health. It's clear that her passion for service goes beyond just a job; it's woven into the very fabric of her being. Our dialogue traversed the complexities of her work, the strategies she employs to stay grounded, and the surprising ways in which her personal hobbies inform and enrich her professional life. Tune in for an episode that transcends the typical narrative of busyness, spotlighting the holistic approach to life that enables change-makers like Izzy to flourish in both their personal and professional worlds.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And how we're going to do this by first showing you
the filtered, pretty version ofsuccess and then the real
struggles, real work and rawgrit it took to get there, how
they took care of themselves andalso achieved their goals while
doing it.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Together, we will work with you to improve and
maintain your internal healthand growth while helping you
achieve your external goals andyour next professional
achievement in life.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we're excited to show you how to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
So let's get started.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast.
I'm Keri Shaw, the host thisweek, and with me I have Izzy
Hutchinson.
Izzy, it's a pleasure to haveyou on our podcast.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Can you share a little bitabout who you are, Izzy, Maybe a
few lines about your background?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Sure, so I am a community health worker.
I am also the health equity andoutreach coordinator for
Hocking, athens, perry,community Action and the
Southeast Ohio Food Bank.
Services to individuals who arelow-income, experiencing food
insecurity, chronic illnesses,pregnancy and other similar
(01:50):
conditions.
And it's nice to be on.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Thanks, Izzy.
Sounds like a pretty intensejob, and a very important one.
A little intense, yeah.
Well, let's start out with ourkind of common question of who
is the real Izzy HutchinsonR-E-E-L.
How do folks perceive you onthe outside?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
So the most common feedback I receive is wow, Izzy
is so busy.
I do try to make myselfaccessible to people, but they
often worry about interruptingme doing my work because I do a
lot of things.
So I think that's the firstimpression people get, and I
(02:37):
also hope that they see me asprofessional and kind and that I
care about the people I workwith.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Absolutely.
I know you not super well, butthat's definitely how I see you
as well professional and kindand super busy sometimes comes
with the territory.
What kinds of how does beingsuper busy affect your
(03:05):
relationship with your team?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well.
So what I try to do is, when Iknow I'm going to be very busy,
I notify my team.
Like most recently, for example, I've been working on a very
large grant and that takes up alot of my time.
So I just sent them a messagelike hey, I'm gonna be busy from
this day to this day.
I'm available if you need me,but if something slips my mind
(03:30):
and you need some help, just letme know.
So I do try to meet themhalfway in that respect.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That's fantastic, that's really courteous and I'm
sure they appreciate justknowing what to expect, right,
as far as when you're availableand when you're not, yeah.
So my next question is alwaysyou know who is the real Izzy,
the R-E-A-L Izzy, like I'm sureyou don't want to be defined as
(04:01):
you know?
You know?
Izzy the busy one, yeah.
So who are you?
Like?
I'm sure you don't want to bedefined as you know, you know
Izzy the busy one.
Yeah, so who are you?
Tell us about yourself?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Okay.
So prior to getting my job atHapCap, I served in AmeriCorps
and I also volunteered at OhioHealth Oblennis Hospital and I
was a food pantry steeringcommittee member for the Ohio
University Cats Cupboard FoodPantry.
So my background is veryservice oriented.
(04:34):
Like I love helping people, Ireally love addressing those
social determinants of health.
I think we really need to focuson that in Appalachia.
So the real me, beyond thebusyness, is just getting into
that area right and helpingpeople and being my
(04:55):
service-oriented self.
That's what I find mostfulfilling about this work.
And, more personally, I'mreally nerdy to be honest.
One of my favorite parts of myjob is the data Uh.
But when I'm off work I'mreading, I'm playing video games
.
You know, if you see me outjogging, I'm running from
(05:16):
something you should be runningto we're in danger.
Like I'm not that kind ofperson.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Um so, uh.
Yeah, I'm just a big oldservice nerd.
In a nutshell, I love thatservice nerd we need more
service nerds out there.
We do, so can you talk to me alittle bit about your self-care?
What does that look like?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
care.
What does that look like?
Sure, so lately my self carehas been telling people like,
hey, I do want to meet with you,but let's push this meeting a
little bit further out, let'sgive ourselves a little more
time to prepare.
And then I've also been takingmore breaks at work, getting up,
walking around.
So for me, my self-care latelyhas just been slowing down,
(06:15):
postponing things when I need to, and then, in addition to that,
I do the usual self-soothingthings, like I mentioned, I like
to read, I like to play games,um, and I find that prioritizing
those activities when I gethome helps me transition out of
(06:36):
work mode.
You know, you know what I mean?
Yeah, um, and that's reallyimportant, for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I like that.
So having a transition time isyour self-care.
Has your self-care changed overtime?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes, I would say that prior to working for HapCap, my
self-care was almost entirelyself-soothing, and self-soothing
practices certainly have a timeand place, they're very
necessary, but I think the mostcritical aspects of self-care
(07:27):
are, you know, more therapeuticones, more long term solutions,
and playing video games isn'treally a long term solution for
much of anything.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I just heard a really interesting article yesterday,
I think, on NPR about Tetris andabout there being a speed of
Tetris that helps people getinto flow.
So you can't play when it's toochallenging and difficult
because then it gets reallyfrustrating, and if you play it
(07:54):
when it's too slow it's notchallenging enough and you get
bored.
But there's a sweet spot inthere that gets folks like kind
of playing and moving and into aflow that actually reduces
anxiety and calms people down.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
So you know I'd say that aligns with my experiences
when I was younger.
I had a really severe chronicpain condition and one of the
ways I chose to cope was throughvideo games, and the type that
I played were where you'd go outon quests, you know, like there
was a goal for the quest andyou would progress towards the
(08:34):
goal and at the end it felt likeyou were rewarded.
Right and for me, completingthose quests got me into a kind
of flow state and I felt like itreally reduced my pain.
So there's maybe somethingthere.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Interesting.
You were ahead of the research.
Um, so how about, uh, self-careand being a leader?
Um, you know what's it like towork with people who have pretty
(09:09):
, I would imagine, high stressjobs and, um, you know, they
probably also need to bereminded about self-care.
What is that dynamic like?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Sure.
So I can't speak for allcommunity health workers, of
course, but the community healthworkers on my team, as I
mentioned, they assist peoplewho are very low income, hungry
people, underemployed people,and those circumstances can
certainly be very stressful forour clients.
But there's also some vicarioustrauma for our community health
(09:45):
workers and that makesself-care super necessary.
So some of the ways that I'vechosen to handle that are not
just reminding them like, hey,you need to be taking care of
yourselves, because I don'tthink that's very helpful.
As a leader Like I need to bemore involved.
So, through our Pathways Hub,we actually have a contract with
(10:09):
a social worker and our socialworker is available to meet with
our community health workers tonot only discuss tricky
situations with their clients,but also how they're feeling,
what is that trauma like forthem, how are they taking care
of themselves?
So it's been immensely helpfulto have a mental health
(10:30):
professional on our team who canassist them with those tasks,
because I can do my best, but Iam not a mental health
professional and I won't pretendto be.
And then, on my end, somethingthat I've been implementing is a
workplace stress survey.
So this is a survey that I tryto provide to my team.
(10:51):
It scores through numbers right.
So if they answered thequestions about stress and they
scored like one to 30, they'redoing pretty well, you know.
But let's say they scored a 75on the stress survey.
Well, I don't need to know thespecifics, but I want them to
(11:15):
schedule a meeting with me sothat we can work things out and
address that together.
So that's been another part ofit.
And then, additionally, we justtalk about it.
You know we have these weeklymeetings to discuss how they're
doing generally and how theirclients are doing and when
they're stressed out.
I want to know because maybethere is something I can do,
(11:39):
maybe we can have a discussiontogether about stuff they're
doing at home after work thatmight help them feel better.
You know that kind of informalback and forth.
So, in a nutshell, I just tryto be involved.
You know, because, again, it'snot helpful to say you need to
take care of yourself, no,helpful to say you need to take
care of yourself, no, I want tohelp you.
Let's work on it together.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I really like this model, Izzy.
So it sounds like they haveaccess to a professional who can
listen to them and help guidethem, and that can happen within
their workday, I'm assumingLike it's kind of baked into
into the work structure.
Absolutely, those are paidhours Fantastic.
And then doing an assessment sothat not only helps you with
information but also probablyhelps them do some
(12:29):
self-reflection of exactly wheream I and what might I need.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, and my hope is as well that it helps them feel
heard.
I definitely want my team tounderstand that I care about
them not as employees, but justas people, and I want them to
feel like they have a voice withus about community health work
(13:00):
and just the general tenets ofcommunity health work.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I mean, that's what we, we want for the people that
we work with as well.
Right, Like that they feelheard and that they feel seen as
humans, not just as a client ora case, but really so it's,
it's parallel processes, right,Right, and then and so then the
final component is you beingavailable yourself and being
(13:22):
approachable and just makingsure that they understand that
you're, you're there for themand in their corner.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, I certainly try to be.
I know I said that I'm busy,but I hope my team recognizes
that anytime they need me, Iwill make the time.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's fantastic.
I really like that as astructure.
Thank you for sharing.
Is there anything that wehaven't talked about that you
would like to mention, or do youhave any words of wisdom when
it comes to self-care in yourown journey?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think something I've learned recently and it
took me like sobbing about it, Igot to a critical point of
stress.
Something I've learned recentlyis that when I need help, I
should just ask for it.
I know that seems so simple,but I think we forget.
(14:19):
We just assume we're going tobe burdensome to the people we
work with or the people who careabout us.
But I think it's satisfying forpeople to help us out, like I
know for me personally when I'massisting someone on my team and
they're having a hard time, itdoesn't feel burdensome, it
feels like I'm doing a goodthing.
So I try to internalize thatand recognize that someone
(14:44):
helping me may also feel thatway.
So I don't hesitate anymore.
I don't let it get to the pointwhere I'm crying at my desk.
I reach out.
So that would be my advice, youknow, just for anyone who's
worried about how they're goingto be seen, how someone might
(15:04):
feel about it if they ask forhelp Don't Just do it.
Don't let it get to thatcritical point Start before.
Just do it, don't let it get tothat critical point Start
before.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Those are really wise words, susie, thank you.
Sometimes, as helpers, it'shard for us to see ourselves as
the recipients, but we all haveto wear both of those hats at
some point and at many points ofour lives.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yes, over and over.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Over and over.
Susie.
This has been fantastic.
I really appreciate your timeand your wisdom and I wish you
all the best in this work.
It sounds like you are awonderful leader for your team.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that andI've loved being on the podcast.
Appreciate that and I've lovedbeing on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Thanks for joining us and once again, this is Izzy
Hutchinson and I'm Keri Shawwith the Self-Care Society
podcast.
And just remember, it'sself-care, not selfishness.
So take care and have a greatday.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
(16:12):
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And how we're going to do this by first showing you
the filtered, pretty version ofsuccess and then the real
struggles, real work and rawgrit it took to get there, how
they took care of themselves andalso achieved their goals while
doing it.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Together, we will work with you to improve and
maintain your internal healthand growth while helping you
achieve your external goals andyour next professional
achievement in life.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we're excited to show you how to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
So let's get started.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast.
I'm Keri Shaw, the host thisweek, and with me I have Izzy
Hutchinson.
Izzy, it's a pleasure to haveyou on our podcast.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Can you share a little bitabout who you are, Izzy, Maybe a
few lines about your background?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Sure, so I am a community health worker.
I am also the health equity andoutreach coordinator for
Hocking, athens, perry,community Action and the
Southeast Ohio Food Bank.
Services to individuals who arelow-income, experiencing food
insecurity, chronic illnesses,pregnancy and other similar
(01:50):
conditions.
And it's nice to be on.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Thanks, Izzy.
Sounds like a pretty intensejob, and a very important one.
A little intense, yeah.
Well, let's start out with ourkind of common question of who
is the real Izzy HutchinsonR-E-E-L.
How do folks perceive you onthe outside?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
So the most common feedback I receive is wow, Izzy
is so busy.
I do try to make myselfaccessible to people, but they
often worry about interruptingme doing my work because I do a
lot of things.
So I think that's the firstimpression people get, and I
(02:37):
also hope that they see me asprofessional and kind and that I
care about the people I workwith.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Absolutely.
I know you not super well, butthat's definitely how I see you
as well professional and kindand super busy sometimes comes
with the territory.
What kinds of how does beingsuper busy affect your
(03:05):
relationship with your team?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well.
So what I try to do is, when Iknow I'm going to be very busy,
I notify my team.
Like most recently, for example, I've been working on a very
large grant and that takes up alot of my time.
So I just sent them a messagelike hey, I'm gonna be busy from
this day to this day.
I'm available if you need me,but if something slips my mind
(03:30):
and you need some help, just letme know.
So I do try to meet themhalfway in that respect.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
That's fantastic, that's really courteous and I'm
sure they appreciate justknowing what to expect, right,
as far as when you're availableand when you're not, yeah.
So my next question is alwaysyou know who is the real Izzy,
the R-E-A-L Izzy, like I'm sureyou don't want to be defined as
(04:01):
you know?
You know?
Izzy the busy one, yeah.
So who are you?
Like?
I'm sure you don't want to bedefined as you know, you know
Izzy the busy one.
Yeah, so who are you?
Tell us about yourself?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Okay.
So prior to getting my job atHapCap, I served in AmeriCorps
and I also volunteered at OhioHealth Oblennis Hospital and I
was a food pantry steeringcommittee member for the Ohio
University Cats Cupboard FoodPantry.
So my background is veryservice oriented.
(04:34):
Like I love helping people, Ireally love addressing those
social determinants of health.
I think we really need to focuson that in Appalachia.
So the real me, beyond thebusyness, is just getting into
that area right and helpingpeople and being my
(04:55):
service-oriented self.
That's what I find mostfulfilling about this work.
And, more personally, I'mreally nerdy to be honest.
One of my favorite parts of myjob is the data Uh.
But when I'm off work I'mreading, I'm playing video games
.
You know, if you see me outjogging, I'm running from
(05:16):
something you should be runningto we're in danger.
Like I'm not that kind ofperson.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Um so, uh.
Yeah, I'm just a big oldservice nerd.
In a nutshell, I love thatservice nerd we need more
service nerds out there.
We do, so can you talk to me alittle bit about your self-care?
What does that look like?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
care.
What does that look like?
Sure, so lately my self carehas been telling people like,
hey, I do want to meet with you,but let's push this meeting a
little bit further out, let'sgive ourselves a little more
time to prepare.
And then I've also been takingmore breaks at work, getting up,
walking around.
So for me, my self-care latelyhas just been slowing down,
(06:15):
postponing things when I need to, and then, in addition to that,
I do the usual self-soothingthings, like I mentioned, I like
to read, I like to play games,um, and I find that prioritizing
those activities when I gethome helps me transition out of
(06:36):
work mode.
You know, you know what I mean?
Yeah, um, and that's reallyimportant, for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I like that.
So having a transition time isyour self-care.
Has your self-care changed overtime?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes, I would say that prior to working for HapCap, my
self-care was almost entirelyself-soothing, and self-soothing
practices certainly have a timeand place, they're very
necessary, but I think the mostcritical aspects of self-care
(07:27):
are, you know, more therapeuticones, more long term solutions,
and playing video games isn'treally a long term solution for
much of anything.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I just heard a really interesting article yesterday,
I think, on NPR about Tetris andabout there being a speed of
Tetris that helps people getinto flow.
So you can't play when it's toochallenging and difficult
because then it gets reallyfrustrating, and if you play it
(07:54):
when it's too slow it's notchallenging enough and you get
bored.
But there's a sweet spot inthere that gets folks like kind
of playing and moving and into aflow that actually reduces
anxiety and calms people down.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
So you know I'd say that aligns with my experiences
when I was younger.
I had a really severe chronicpain condition and one of the
ways I chose to cope was throughvideo games, and the type that
I played were where you'd go outon quests, you know, like there
was a goal for the quest andyou would progress towards the
(08:34):
goal and at the end it felt likeyou were rewarded.
Right and for me, completingthose quests got me into a kind
of flow state and I felt like itreally reduced my pain.
So there's maybe somethingthere.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Interesting.
You were ahead of the research.
Um, so how about, uh, self-careand being a leader?
Um, you know what's it like towork with people who have pretty
(09:09):
, I would imagine, high stressjobs and, um, you know, they
probably also need to bereminded about self-care.
What is that dynamic like?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Sure.
So I can't speak for allcommunity health workers, of
course, but the community healthworkers on my team, as I
mentioned, they assist peoplewho are very low income, hungry
people, underemployed people,and those circumstances can
certainly be very stressful forour clients.
But there's also some vicarioustrauma for our community health
(09:45):
workers and that makesself-care super necessary.
So some of the ways that I'vechosen to handle that are not
just reminding them like, hey,you need to be taking care of
yourselves, because I don'tthink that's very helpful.
As a leader Like I need to bemore involved.
So, through our Pathways Hub,we actually have a contract with
(10:09):
a social worker and our socialworker is available to meet with
our community health workers tonot only discuss tricky
situations with their clients,but also how they're feeling,
what is that trauma like forthem, how are they taking care
of themselves?
So it's been immensely helpfulto have a mental health
(10:30):
professional on our team who canassist them with those tasks,
because I can do my best, but Iam not a mental health
professional and I won't pretendto be.
And then, on my end, somethingthat I've been implementing is a
workplace stress survey.
So this is a survey that I tryto provide to my team.
(10:51):
It scores through numbers right.
So if they answered thequestions about stress and they
scored like one to 30, they'redoing pretty well, you know.
But let's say they scored a 75on the stress survey.
Well, I don't need to know thespecifics, but I want them to
(11:15):
schedule a meeting with me sothat we can work things out and
address that together.
So that's been another part ofit.
And then, additionally, we justtalk about it.
You know we have these weeklymeetings to discuss how they're
doing generally and how theirclients are doing and when
they're stressed out.
I want to know because maybethere is something I can do,
(11:39):
maybe we can have a discussiontogether about stuff they're
doing at home after work thatmight help them feel better.
You know that kind of informalback and forth.
So, in a nutshell, I just tryto be involved.
You know, because, again, it'snot helpful to say you need to
take care of yourself, no,helpful to say you need to take
care of yourself, no, I want tohelp you.
Let's work on it together.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I really like this model, Izzy.
So it sounds like they haveaccess to a professional who can
listen to them and help guidethem, and that can happen within
their workday, I'm assumingLike it's kind of baked into
into the work structure.
Absolutely, those are paidhours Fantastic.
And then doing an assessment sothat not only helps you with
information but also probablyhelps them do some
(12:29):
self-reflection of exactly wheream I and what might I need.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, and my hope is as well that it helps them feel
heard.
I definitely want my team tounderstand that I care about
them not as employees, but justas people, and I want them to
feel like they have a voice withus about community health work
(13:00):
and just the general tenets ofcommunity health work.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I mean, that's what we, we want for the people that
we work with as well.
Right, Like that they feelheard and that they feel seen as
humans, not just as a client ora case, but really so it's,
it's parallel processes, right,Right, and then and so then the
final component is you beingavailable yourself and being
(13:22):
approachable and just makingsure that they understand that
you're, you're there for themand in their corner.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, I certainly try to be.
I know I said that I'm busy,but I hope my team recognizes
that anytime they need me, Iwill make the time.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's fantastic.
I really like that as astructure.
Thank you for sharing.
Is there anything that wehaven't talked about that you
would like to mention, or do youhave any words of wisdom when
it comes to self-care in yourown journey?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think something I've learned recently and it
took me like sobbing about it, Igot to a critical point of
stress.
Something I've learned recentlyis that when I need help, I
should just ask for it.
I know that seems so simple,but I think we forget.
(14:19):
We just assume we're going tobe burdensome to the people we
work with or the people who careabout us.
But I think it's satisfying forpeople to help us out, like I
know for me personally when I'massisting someone on my team and
they're having a hard time, itdoesn't feel burdensome, it
feels like I'm doing a goodthing.
So I try to internalize thatand recognize that someone
(14:44):
helping me may also feel thatway.
So I don't hesitate anymore.
I don't let it get to the pointwhere I'm crying at my desk.
I reach out.
So that would be my advice, youknow, just for anyone who's
worried about how they're goingto be seen, how someone might
(15:04):
feel about it if they ask forhelp Don't Just do it.
Don't let it get to thatcritical point Start before.
Just do it, don't let it get tothat critical point Start
before.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Those are really wise words, susie, thank you.
Sometimes, as helpers, it'shard for us to see ourselves as
the recipients, but we all haveto wear both of those hats at
some point and at many points ofour lives.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yes, over and over.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Over and over.
Susie.
This has been fantastic.
I really appreciate your timeand your wisdom and I wish you
all the best in this work.
It sounds like you are awonderful leader for your team.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that andI've loved being on the podcast.
Appreciate that and I've lovedbeing on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Thanks for joining us and once again, this is Izzy
Hutchinson and I'm Keri Shawwith the Self-Care Society
podcast.
And just remember, it'sself-care, not selfishness.
So take care and have a greatday.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
(16:12):
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
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