April 24, 2024 • 12 mins
I was born a deaf/hard-of-hearing person. Recently, my hearing has progressed to profound deafness so I am now gearing up for a cochlear implant. Before this, I was diagnosed with multiple health conditions that can be incapacitating some days. After the initial shock of these diagnoses, I began a path of self-care that I had never undertaken before.
I started seeing a therapist and began learning about meditation, yoga, and mindfulness-based stress reduction. These practices propelled me to return to my long-neglected love of writing. I started a personal blog about my experience overcoming these health obstacles and highlighting hope as an avenue for healing. Desiring to help others with debilitating health conditions, I earned certifications in Reiki Healing and Yoga Teaching. Last year, after 10 years at home, I reentered the workforce at the local library. Along with this, I teach a class geared towards persons with mobility issues at a studio and teach meditation at the library. I would not have been able to achieve these things if it weren't for initially realizing the importance of and prioritizing good self-care habits.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And how we're going to do this by first showing you
the filtered, pretty version ofsuccess and then the real
struggles, real work and rawgrit it took to get there, how
they took care of themselves andalso achieved their goals,
while doing it Together.
We will work with you toimprove and maintain your
internal health and growth,while helping you achieve your
(00:42):
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
.
And we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Welcome to Self-Care Society'spodcast.
(01:04):
I'm Keri Shaw, and with metoday is Angela Cross.
Angela Cross was born a deafand hard-of-hearing person.
Recently, her hearing hasprogressed to profound deafness,
so she is now gearing up for acochlear implant.
Before this, she was diagnosedwith multiple health conditions
that can be incapacitating somedays.
(01:24):
Diagnosed with multiple healthconditions that can be
incapacitating some days.
After the initial shock ofthese diagnoses, she began a
path of self-care that she hadnever undertaken before.
She started seeing a therapistand began learning about
meditation, yoga andmindfulness-based stress
reduction.
These practices propelled herto return to her long-neglected
love of writing.
(01:44):
She started a personal blogabout her experience overcoming
these health obstacles andhighlighting hope as an avenue
for healing.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Desiring to help others with debilitating health
conditions.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
She earned certifications in Reiki healing
and yoga teaching.
Last year, after 10 years athome, she reentered the
workforce at the local library.
Along with this, she teaches aclass geared towards persons
with mobility issues at a studioand teaches meditation at the
library.
She could not have been able toachieve these things if it
(02:19):
weren't for initially realizingthe importance of, and
prioritizing, good self-carehabits.
Welcome to the Self-CareSociety, angela.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Thank you.
I'm honored and so happy to behere.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We're excited to have you.
So, as you know, our firstquestion is just who are you and
what would you like for us toknow about you, kind of from the
outside perspective, who's theAngela Cross?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Thank you.
From the outside perspective, Iguess some would look at me as
someone who is an overcomer ofthe obstacles that I face, just
as you've listed, and manypeople have often remarked about
how I'm able to quickly becomeresilient and figure out how to
(03:07):
find the best way to heal andthe best way forward, and I have
a positive attitude and all ofthose things are things that
people see in me when they lookfrom the outside in I can see
that Just reading your bio isreally impressive.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You've done all kinds of really interesting things,
and it seems like not lettinganything be a barrier for that
success.
So now our second question iswho's the real Angela Cross
R-E-A-L.
What don't we know about youthat you would like to share?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Thank, you, even though people see the exterior
and the results of the effortsthat I have put in for some of
the things that I'veaccomplished all of the things
I've accomplished actually,sandwiched in those are days
that are really hard, reallytough days of depression, days
(04:01):
of where I'm not able to achievethe things that I had planned
for that day, and sometimes itcan feel really overwhelming
because I feel like it's takinga really long time to achieve
the goals that I'm workingtowards.
And those are the things thatpeople don't see, and I don't
want to ever convey the ideathat, oh my gosh, you know she
(04:24):
has these issues and but yetshe's like accomplishing all
these things and it's amazing.
It's really really hardsometimes and I want to be real
about that and in fact, I do tryto be real about that.
When I teach you know,meditation, or when I teach yoga
, or when I'm just inconversations with people, I try
to let them know that what yousee is the end result of blood,
(04:48):
sweat and tears, and it is noteasy.
So I don't ever want anyone whois going through similar
obstacles to think that, oh gosh, you know she did it, so I can
do it too.
Everybody has their own path,and so it's really important for
people to understand that it'sgoing to take as long as it
needs to take, and you're goingto have days where it's
(05:10):
upsetting, but when you do havethose days that are really good,
you feel like you didn't let itstop you, and so it does
ultimately pay off Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I love that you say that we all have our own journey
and I wonder, from kind of aself-care perspective you know
where were you 20 years ago withself-care, or how has that part
of your journey changed?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Self-care was not in my vocabulary, not even a little
bit, and in fact, when I wouldhear people talk about well, you
need to have good self-carewithout a definition behind it,
it sounded like, okay, thatsounds great, but I don't know
what that means, and I thinkthat that's where a lot of
people are now they don't knowwhat that means.
What does self-care mean andhow do you get started on that?
(06:01):
So definitely, 20 years ago Ihad no idea what it meant to
take care of yourself.
You know, when we're growing up, we learn how to like take care
of ourselves.
You know by like taking a bath,and you know making sure that
we eat some food.
But self-care definitely goesbeyond that and I think a lot of
people don't really understandthat because they're not able to
(06:23):
articulate what that means forthem precisely.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Do you have a definition of self-care for
yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yes, as a person who is hard of hearing and deaf,
I've had to work really hard atfiguring out what does that mean
for me.
And that means a lot of timeand solitude, not to the point
of isolation and loneliness, butit's just to fill my cup back
up, because when we're gettingbombarded with messages and
(06:56):
conversations and and justgenerally communicating every
day, it becomes very taxing, andso that self-exploration of
what is taking my energy awayand then how can I resolve that
and I think that that was reallya highlight for me to consider
(07:17):
it is when I found myselffeeling depleted.
Why was that depletionoccurring and how could I
resolve it?
And oftentimes, when people askme about self-care, I ask them
that question what is depletingyou?
What do you think is depletingyou?
And then that's just having anawareness of that helps you to
begin to understand what yourbody needs and what kind of rest
(07:40):
you need.
And you know some people arevery, you know, outgoing and
they feed off of that energy andthey, you know some people are
very, you know, outgoing andthey, they feed off of that
energy and they need that.
But some people are introverts,like myself, and so I recognize
that I have to take that timeaway.
And so, just getting back tothe question what is depleting
me and how can I be able todetermine what I need to do to
(08:02):
make sure that I am fulfilledand rested between?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Replenishing.
Yes, yes, boy.
I can really relate to thatbecause I'm definitely an
introvert and sometimes I justhave to throw everyone out of my
house, so that alone time isprecious and restorative for a
lot of us.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Yes, yes, yes.
Go introverts, yes, but we'lltalk about that after we go take
a break.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Right.
I mean I'm really interested inhow your hearing loss has maybe
affected your engagement withself-care, if that makes sense,
I mean you can obviously takethat however you want, but just
curious if there's a connectionand if so, what does that look
(08:58):
like?
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yes, so I grew up in a hearing world so I wasn't
afforded the opportunity toreally engage in the deaf
community I went to.
I was mainstreamed in school.
There wasn't really when I wasgrowing up there really wasn't
any accommodations, if you will,besides my mom going up to the
(09:20):
school and saying she needs tosit at the front of the class
and you know she kind of had tobe the one to advocate for me
and my brother who was alsohearing impaired and deaf as
well.
So the engagement of self-carerequired a lot of mistakes, you
know.
It required a lot of crash andburn days.
(09:42):
It required a lot of you know,some of those pendulums.
When we talk about a pendulumswinging left and right, it
required going left, you know,to the extreme of just like
staying home all day in bedbecause I'm exhausted, because I
engaged with the world, orfeeling like I'm missing out on
something, and going the otherway and trying to keep up with
everybody else who doesn't havea hearing loss.
(10:04):
And then it just took a lot ofthat major swinging on that
pendulum before I was able tokind of get to the middle and
recognize the body cues that Iwas having, maybe some racing
heart, or I would just feel likereally heavy in the shoulders,
or I would just feel reallyexhausted, like my ears would be
literally humming from beingengaged too much.
So it requires a lot ofmistakes and observations and
(10:30):
going too far one way or theother and just finally getting
to a place of acceptance andsaying you know what?
I'm not like people in thehearing world and so I have to
take that time to rest andrecover from everything that
I've engaged with.
But it was a lot of trial anderror, wow.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Thank you.
It's helpful to hear that andreally I think that helps
understand why self-care is soimportant to you now.
Yes, yes.
So as we kind of wrap up,angela, can you share maybe some
words of wisdom or kind offinal closing advice or
(11:13):
suggestions that you might havefor our listeners?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yes, I think, in order to get to a good place of
self-care, it's very importantto be gentle with yourself and
have grace.
A good place of self-care it'svery important to be gentle with
yourself and have grace,Because if you don't have grace,
you're not going to be able toextend it to yourself and then
spread that out to others.
And in the journey of self-careit is oh, you know what I
overdid it today.
(11:36):
But I'm just going to justremember that and take note of
it and keep aware of what myneeds are, so that way I can
continue to help other people.
It's going to be a lot ofmistakes, but the biggest thing
is understanding that you haveto have grace with yourself and
you have to not be so harsh onyourself and criticize yourself
(11:59):
and say, oh, you know what Ijust?
Oh, I'm such a mess up.
It is a constant journey andit's a a mess up.
It is a constant journey andit's a constant fluctuation,
it's a constant adjustment.
And also, don't be afraid toadvocate for yourself If someone
is not meeting your need.
If you have an accommodation orsomething that you need, just
be brave and vocalize what thatis, but ultimately, having
(12:21):
extreme grace for yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Thank you, Angela.
Thank you, my guest today isAngela Cross.
I'm Carrie Shaw, the host ofSelf-Care Society.
Thanks for listening and we'llsee you next time.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
And how we're going to do this by first showing you
the filtered, pretty version ofsuccess and then the real
struggles, real work and rawgrit it took to get there, how
they took care of themselves andalso achieved their goals,
while doing it Together.
We will work with you toimprove and maintain your
internal health and growth,while helping you achieve your
(00:42):
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
.
And we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Welcome to Self-Care Society'spodcast.
(01:04):
I'm Keri Shaw, and with metoday is Angela Cross.
Angela Cross was born a deafand hard-of-hearing person.
Recently, her hearing hasprogressed to profound deafness,
so she is now gearing up for acochlear implant.
Before this, she was diagnosedwith multiple health conditions
that can be incapacitating somedays.
(01:24):
Diagnosed with multiple healthconditions that can be
incapacitating some days.
After the initial shock ofthese diagnoses, she began a
path of self-care that she hadnever undertaken before.
She started seeing a therapistand began learning about
meditation, yoga andmindfulness-based stress
reduction.
These practices propelled herto return to her long-neglected
love of writing.
(01:44):
She started a personal blogabout her experience overcoming
these health obstacles andhighlighting hope as an avenue
for healing.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Desiring to help others with debilitating health
conditions.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
She earned certifications in Reiki healing
and yoga teaching.
Last year, after 10 years athome, she reentered the
workforce at the local library.
Along with this, she teaches aclass geared towards persons
with mobility issues at a studioand teaches meditation at the
library.
She could not have been able toachieve these things if it
(02:19):
weren't for initially realizingthe importance of, and
prioritizing, good self-carehabits.
Welcome to the Self-CareSociety, angela.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Thank you.
I'm honored and so happy to behere.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We're excited to have you.
So, as you know, our firstquestion is just who are you and
what would you like for us toknow about you, kind of from the
outside perspective, who's theAngela Cross?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Thank you.
From the outside perspective, Iguess some would look at me as
someone who is an overcomer ofthe obstacles that I face, just
as you've listed, and manypeople have often remarked about
how I'm able to quickly becomeresilient and figure out how to
(03:07):
find the best way to heal andthe best way forward, and I have
a positive attitude and all ofthose things are things that
people see in me when they lookfrom the outside in I can see
that Just reading your bio isreally impressive.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You've done all kinds of really interesting things,
and it seems like not lettinganything be a barrier for that
success.
So now our second question iswho's the real Angela Cross
R-E-A-L.
What don't we know about youthat you would like to share?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Thank, you, even though people see the exterior
and the results of the effortsthat I have put in for some of
the things that I'veaccomplished all of the things
I've accomplished actually,sandwiched in those are days
that are really hard, reallytough days of depression, days
(04:01):
of where I'm not able to achievethe things that I had planned
for that day, and sometimes itcan feel really overwhelming
because I feel like it's takinga really long time to achieve
the goals that I'm workingtowards.
And those are the things thatpeople don't see, and I don't
want to ever convey the ideathat, oh my gosh, you know she
(04:24):
has these issues and but yetshe's like accomplishing all
these things and it's amazing.
It's really really hardsometimes and I want to be real
about that and in fact, I do tryto be real about that.
When I teach you know,meditation, or when I teach yoga
, or when I'm just inconversations with people, I try
to let them know that what yousee is the end result of blood,
(04:48):
sweat and tears, and it is noteasy.
So I don't ever want anyone whois going through similar
obstacles to think that, oh gosh, you know she did it, so I can
do it too.
Everybody has their own path,and so it's really important for
people to understand that it'sgoing to take as long as it
needs to take, and you're goingto have days where it's
(05:10):
upsetting, but when you do havethose days that are really good,
you feel like you didn't let itstop you, and so it does
ultimately pay off Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I love that you say that we all have our own journey
and I wonder, from kind of aself-care perspective you know
where were you 20 years ago withself-care, or how has that part
of your journey changed?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Self-care was not in my vocabulary, not even a little
bit, and in fact, when I wouldhear people talk about well, you
need to have good self-carewithout a definition behind it,
it sounded like, okay, thatsounds great, but I don't know
what that means, and I thinkthat that's where a lot of
people are now they don't knowwhat that means.
What does self-care mean andhow do you get started on that?
(06:01):
So definitely, 20 years ago Ihad no idea what it meant to
take care of yourself.
You know, when we're growing up, we learn how to like take care
of ourselves.
You know by like taking a bath,and you know making sure that
we eat some food.
But self-care definitely goesbeyond that and I think a lot of
people don't really understandthat because they're not able to
(06:23):
articulate what that means forthem precisely.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Do you have a definition of self-care for
yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yes, as a person who is hard of hearing and deaf,
I've had to work really hard atfiguring out what does that mean
for me.
And that means a lot of timeand solitude, not to the point
of isolation and loneliness, butit's just to fill my cup back
up, because when we're gettingbombarded with messages and
(06:56):
conversations and and justgenerally communicating every
day, it becomes very taxing, andso that self-exploration of
what is taking my energy awayand then how can I resolve that
and I think that that was reallya highlight for me to consider
(07:17):
it is when I found myselffeeling depleted.
Why was that depletionoccurring and how could I
resolve it?
And oftentimes, when people askme about self-care, I ask them
that question what is depletingyou?
What do you think is depletingyou?
And then that's just having anawareness of that helps you to
begin to understand what yourbody needs and what kind of rest
(07:40):
you need.
And you know some people arevery, you know, outgoing and
they feed off of that energy andthey, you know some people are
very, you know, outgoing andthey, they feed off of that
energy and they need that.
But some people are introverts,like myself, and so I recognize
that I have to take that timeaway.
And so, just getting back tothe question what is depleting
me and how can I be able todetermine what I need to do to
(08:02):
make sure that I am fulfilledand rested between?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Replenishing.
Yes, yes, boy.
I can really relate to thatbecause I'm definitely an
introvert and sometimes I justhave to throw everyone out of my
house, so that alone time isprecious and restorative for a
lot of us.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Yes, yes, yes.
Go introverts, yes, but we'lltalk about that after we go take
a break.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Right.
I mean I'm really interested inhow your hearing loss has maybe
affected your engagement withself-care, if that makes sense,
I mean you can obviously takethat however you want, but just
curious if there's a connectionand if so, what does that look
(08:58):
like?
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yes, so I grew up in a hearing world so I wasn't
afforded the opportunity toreally engage in the deaf
community I went to.
I was mainstreamed in school.
There wasn't really when I wasgrowing up there really wasn't
any accommodations, if you will,besides my mom going up to the
(09:20):
school and saying she needs tosit at the front of the class
and you know she kind of had tobe the one to advocate for me
and my brother who was alsohearing impaired and deaf as
well.
So the engagement of self-carerequired a lot of mistakes, you
know.
It required a lot of crash andburn days.
(09:42):
It required a lot of you know,some of those pendulums.
When we talk about a pendulumswinging left and right, it
required going left, you know,to the extreme of just like
staying home all day in bedbecause I'm exhausted, because I
engaged with the world, orfeeling like I'm missing out on
something, and going the otherway and trying to keep up with
everybody else who doesn't havea hearing loss.
(10:04):
And then it just took a lot ofthat major swinging on that
pendulum before I was able tokind of get to the middle and
recognize the body cues that Iwas having, maybe some racing
heart, or I would just feel likereally heavy in the shoulders,
or I would just feel reallyexhausted, like my ears would be
literally humming from beingengaged too much.
So it requires a lot ofmistakes and observations and
(10:30):
going too far one way or theother and just finally getting
to a place of acceptance andsaying you know what?
I'm not like people in thehearing world and so I have to
take that time to rest andrecover from everything that
I've engaged with.
But it was a lot of trial anderror, wow.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Thank you.
It's helpful to hear that andreally I think that helps
understand why self-care is soimportant to you now.
Yes, yes.
So as we kind of wrap up,angela, can you share maybe some
words of wisdom or kind offinal closing advice or
(11:13):
suggestions that you might havefor our listeners?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yes, I think, in order to get to a good place of
self-care, it's very importantto be gentle with yourself and
have grace.
A good place of self-care it'svery important to be gentle with
yourself and have grace,Because if you don't have grace,
you're not going to be able toextend it to yourself and then
spread that out to others.
And in the journey of self-careit is oh, you know what I
overdid it today.
(11:36):
But I'm just going to justremember that and take note of
it and keep aware of what myneeds are, so that way I can
continue to help other people.
It's going to be a lot ofmistakes, but the biggest thing
is understanding that you haveto have grace with yourself and
you have to not be so harsh onyourself and criticize yourself
(11:59):
and say, oh, you know what Ijust?
Oh, I'm such a mess up.
It is a constant journey andit's a a mess up.
It is a constant journey andit's a constant fluctuation,
it's a constant adjustment.
And also, don't be afraid toadvocate for yourself If someone
is not meeting your need.
If you have an accommodation orsomething that you need, just
be brave and vocalize what thatis, but ultimately, having
(12:21):
extreme grace for yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Thank you, Angela.
Thank you, my guest today isAngela Cross.
I'm Carrie Shaw, the host ofSelf-Care Society.
Thanks for listening and we'llsee you next time.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
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