Episode 89: Numb Little Bug

Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions, physically present but emotionally detached? We dive deep into the often misunderstood world of emotional numbness, shedding light on how this survival mechanism kicks in during trauma or prolonged stress. You'll learn to spot the signs of emotional numbness—such as flat stares, isolation, and a skewed sense of time—and discover practical strategies to reconnect with both yourself and those around you. From incorporating movement and mindfulness into your routine to reducing stressors and ensuring you get plenty of rest, we share actionable tips to guide you on your path to emotional healing. And to remind you that you're not alone, we wrap up with the resonant tune "Numb Little Bug" by Em Beihold.

Picture this: you're barely holding on, feeling disconnected and worn out by life's relentless demands. We explore this paradoxical state where survival instinct overrides emotional engagement, making you feel like you're physically present but emotionally absent. Using vivid metaphors like 'hanging by a thread' and 'sinking with water in the bones,' we unpack the reality of maintaining resilience amidst ongoing mental and emotional fatigue. With heartfelt encouragement and practical advice, we emphasize small yet impactful ways to stay motivated and carry on your journey of self-care and growth. Tune in to find solace and strategies that will help you navigate through these challenging emotions.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
And how we're going to do this?

(00:22):
By first showing you thefiltered, pretty version of
success, and then the realstruggles, real work and raw
grit it took to get there, howthey took care of themselves and
also achieved their goals whiledoing it Together.
We will work with you toimprove and maintain your
internal health and growth,while helping you achieve your

(00:42):
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And we're excited to show you how to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Hello and welcome to theself-care podcast.
My name is Isabel and I will beyour host today.
Let's talk about the feeling ofemotional numbness.

(01:12):
Emotional numbness is a form ofa mental health condition called
dissociation.
By itself, dissociation isn'tuncommon.
Do you remember the last timethat you drove to the grocery
store and couldn't remembergetting there?
That's a form of dissociation.
In fact, if you've ever zonedout, lost track of time while

(01:34):
reading a good book ordaydreamed during your afternoon
walk, you've experienced a formof dissociation Similar to when
you zone out.
Emotional numbness happensunconsciously.
It's the result of our mindsdisconnecting from our thoughts,
actions, sense of self andsensory experience of the world

(01:54):
around us.
Joe Nummers is a therapist forUnityPoint and he describes it
as a survival mechanism from oursympathetic nervous system.
And he describes it as asurvival mechanism from our
sympathetic nervous system.
He says in the face of physicalor emotional pain or a
traumatic incident, oursympathetic nervous system has
three responses Fight, flight orfreeze.

(02:16):
Emotional numbing is freezing.
Our brain shuts down as aprotective response to keep us
safe when our nervous system isoverloaded.
So initially, emotional numbingis helpful because it helps
calm our overwhelmed minds.
Over time, it can be harmfuland lead to behaviors with

(02:37):
serious consequences to ouremotional and our physical
well-being.
Basically, this is a feelingwhich might come up when you're
struggling, oftentimes withanxiety and depression or grief.
Also, medication which can belife-saving for many can also
trigger a side effect ofemotional numbness.

(02:58):
Feeling emotionally numb has afew outward signs people can
watch for, whether they'reexperiencing it themselves or
recognizing it in someone else.
For example, you might see someflat or blank stares, a
dampened sense of excitement,isolating from activities and
people and even having adistorted sense of time.

(03:18):
According to numbers, whenyou're emotionally numb, hours
can pass and you might not evennotice.
Or something exciting canhappen, like witnessing a home
run at a baseball game, and youjust don't really feel the same
rush or excitement as the crowdaround you.
But it could also just be thatall of the challenges and

(03:42):
stressors of daily life havebuilt to a point where you just
want to throw your hands in theair and walk away from them.
When things happen and happenand happen, and the hits don't
stop coming.
We all reach a point where wefeel completely out of control.
There's a song by a singer whosename is MB Hold, called Numb
Little Bug.

(04:02):
I love listening to this songwhen I'm feeling this way.
I'll play it at the end of theepisode, so don't worry.
But basically she talks aboutthe feeling of losing touch with
her friends and feeling smallin a big world.
The feeling of not being happybut not being so miserable that
you just want to die, justfeeling numb and going through
the motions, slapping a band-aidon the feeling and hoping it

(04:27):
will get better.
She calls these her quickrepairs and I feel like that's
super accurate and, honestly,sometimes that's all you can do
in the current moment.
When things get reallychallenging.
Sometimes all you can do iskeep your head down and get
through it.
You come out the other side andget that feeling of relief, but
until then you just have to gothrough the motions.

(04:49):
Remember to return to thebasics Eat food.
It doesn't matter if you cookit or what it is, just eat food.
It's great if it's healthy, buteat food, drink water as much
as you can and try to see thesun at least once a day.

(05:09):
Seriously, bare minimumsurvival mode.
Give yourself grace and don'tfall into despair.
Just because you aren't feelingall the feelings you're normally
feeling, you probably aren'teven feeling the stress that's
kind of buried deep down underthe skin, because feeling
emotionally numb equates withfeeling disconnected.

(05:31):
The best thing you can do tostop feelings of dissociation is
to connect with people.
Other coping mechanisms toreconnect yourself to others
might include moving your body,getting some exercise,
practicing mindfulness,minimizing any of the stressors
around you.
So take a look at your scheduleand see.

(05:53):
You know how you can movethings around to give yourself
some grace and get plenty ofrest.
Sometimes you just need to getthrough the numb days.
Other times you need someoneelse to help you feel connected
again.
Be patient with yourself,follow your routines and find
small ways to reconnect withoutexpecting everything to jump

(06:16):
back to normal right away.
I know today was a super shortepisode.
Unfortunately I am under theweather so it's difficult to
speak for too long.
But I am going to play NumbLittle Bug for you guys.
Hopefully you connect with thesong the same way that I did.

(06:36):
I think the most importanttakeaway from the numb little
bug song, which I'm going toplay for you guys in a second is
just that you're not alone inthe way that you're feeling.
When you feel emotionally numb,it sucks, it's not a fun feeling
, but there are other people whoare also feeling the same way.

(07:00):
It's not.
You know that there's somethinginherently broken around you.
It's a response that your bodyis taking to protect you.
So, you know, let your mindprotect you from the pain or the
trauma or the grief or whateveryou're going through.
And you know, let your mindprotect you from the pain or the
trauma or the grief or whateveryou're going through.
And you know, take the stepsthat you need to take to

(07:22):
reconnect with not only thethings that you enjoy, but the
people that you care about andthe things that make you feel
full in life and satisfied andfull.
Anyway, I hope you all have afantastic day.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
I don't feel a single thing.
Have the pills done too much?
I've been caught up with myfriends in weeks and now we're
out of touch.
I've been driving in LA and theworld it feels too big, like a
floating ball that's bound tobreak Stop my psyche like a twig

(08:17):
, and I just wanna see If youfeel the same as me.
Do you ever get a little bittired of life?
Like you're not really happybut you're gonna die?
Like you're hanging by a threadbut you gotta survive, cause
you gotta survive?
Like your body's in the roombut you're not really there.
Like you have empathy insidebut you don't really care.

(08:39):
Like you're fresh out of love,but it's been a year.
I'm a faster pair, a little bittired of trying to care and I
don't.
A little bit tired of trying toget my phone.
A little bit tired of quickpapers to call.
A little bit tired of sinkingthis water in my boat.

(08:59):
I'm barely breathing, trying tostay up, though.
So I got these papers to call.
Guess, I'm just broken andblack, the prescription's on its
way With a name I can'tpronounce, and the dose I gotta
take.
Boy, I wish that I could count,cause I just wanna see If this

(09:26):
could make me happy.
Do you ever get a little bittired of life?
Like you're not really happybut you don't wanna die.
Like you're hanging by a threadbut you gotta survive, cause
you gotta survive.
Like your body's in the roombut you're not really there.
Like you have empathy insidebut you don't really care.
Like you've got a shot of lovebut it's getting the air and my

(09:48):
plans turn pale but you don'treally care.
Like you fresh out of love butit's getting me out of my
pressure pen.
A little bit tired of trying tokill my bones.
A little bit tired of quickReapers too cold.
A little bit tired of sinkingwhen there's water in my bones.
I'm feeling pretty cold.
I'm trying to stay up though,so I got these great, great

(10:10):
shoes.
Do you ever get a little bittired of life?
Like you know, really happy butjust don't want to die, like a
numb little bug that's got tosurvive.
That's got to survive.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
That concludes this week's episode.
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.