June 27, 2024 • 10 mins
What if the path you've been forced to walk isn't the one that leads to your true happiness? Join us on the Self-Care Society podcast as Isabelle challenges the pressures of societal and familial expectations, urging us to carve out a life that genuinely aligns with our desires. Isabel opens up about the uncertain future of our project, sharing updates on funding and upcoming self-care groups, before diving into a heartfelt discussion about navigating imposed life paths.
Through personal anecdotes, Isabelle illustrates how early labels and perceptions can shape our identities and choices, often leading us away from our true selves. Reflect on your own aspirations as Isabelle draws parallels to common life scenarios, whether it’s the pressure to follow a traditional timeline or the push to prioritize career achievements. This episode is a call to courage, self-awareness, and the pursuit of authenticity, inviting you to break free from the predetermined paths that don't serve your true happiness.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
And how we're going to do this?
(00:22):
By first showing you thefiltered, pretty version of
success, and then the realstruggles, real work and raw
grit it took to get there, howthey took care of themselves and
also achieved their goals whiledoing it Together.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
We will work with you to improve and maintain your
internal health and growth whilehelping you achieve your
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
, and we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Hello and welcome to theself-care podcast.
(01:04):
My name is Isabel Matosian andI will be your host today.
Before we get started withtoday's podcast, I want to
explain a little bit about thecurrent trajectory of this
project.
At this moment, we do not havefunding secured for another year
.
This means that we will be ableto continue our project in a
(01:24):
limited capacity for the nextmonth, but moving forward.
We'll only have one episodeplanned after today's and then
we'll have four self-care groupsin July to help with the
transition.
So we'll have one group perweek After that.
The current expectation is thatour project will end unless or
until additional funding isobtained.
(01:46):
So I just wanted to make sure Isay that in the podcast to keep
everyone up to date as well aswe're able to.
Our online community andpodcast will remain accessible
for July.
So if you are a member of thisproject and you would like a
free self-care journal to bemailed to you at no cost to you,
of course please send me anemail and I'll ship it right to
(02:09):
your home.
All right, so that was theupdate time.
Now for the podcast time.
Today we'll talk about how wecarve out the life that we want
for ourselves.
I think sometimes in life weget pushed or pulled down
(02:30):
certain paths and we don't getas much say as we might like.
It's like the common movietrope where the son feels forced
to take over his familybusiness and then he falls in
love with a free-spirited girlfrom a small town and suddenly
realizes that he wants to be aChristmas tree farmer.
Okay so maybe it's not a commontrope, but I've certainly seen
it a lot.
And even if it isn't a familybusiness versus Christmas tree
situation, there are certainlyparallels.
(02:51):
You grow up in a family wherethey follow a very specific
timeline of college and thenengagement, then marriage, then
kids, then domestic life untilthey die.
It's not a bad life, but whatif you grow up in that family
while not having any intentionor aspirations of having a
family at a young age?
Then all of a sudden, you're ablack sheep or an outlier.
(03:16):
It could be the opposite.
Your family is career-drivenand prioritizes pursuing degree
after degree and bigtime-consuming careers, when all
you really want is to slow downand smell a rose or something.
Whatever the combination ofevents or circumstances may be,
it can be hard to break away ordo something different than the
(03:38):
people around you.
Sometimes it can seemimpossible.
How could you possibly have onelife when no one else around
you has followed that samecourse?
Let's not underestimate thepower of perception.
How are you perceived by others, or how you perceive others,
can impact every choice you make, if you let it at least.
(04:03):
I grew up an incredibly shy kid.
I couldn't even order my ownfood at a restaurant.
No kidding.
My little sister had to ordermy macaroni and chocolate milk
for me when we were little.
As a result, I was labeled theintrovert of the family and she
was an extrovert.
No wiggle room, it's just howwe were identified and we
(04:25):
accepted it, and that followedme forever.
I was shy and sweet and thatwas my identity.
There was a time that my entirefamily was driving somewhere
together all eight of us.
I had my headphones in andcouldn't hear, and at one point
I looked up and realized we wereheading home.
So I asked why, and everybodywas so shocked to see that I was
(04:46):
in the car.
No one knew I was there, eventhough I was seated between two
of my siblings, who were alsonot paying attention to the
argument around us.
From that day on I was quiet,so it became my thing to be shy
and sweet and quiet.
In middle school I auditionedfor a solo in choir.
(05:06):
Standing in front of that roomI felt overwhelmed and I began
to cry, and from that point Iwas shy and sweet and quiet and
anxious.
So throughout high school Iknew who I was and didn't try to
stray too much, because whyeven bother?
But then eventually I found thethings that showed my true
(05:27):
colors, the things that revealedwho I was without the opinions
or labels from others.
I took up a sport that I wasgood at and gave me confidence,
and suddenly I had a communitywhere I was a leader and my
voice was heard and respected.
Then I discovered that I wascapable of talking in front of
groups of people, and thatdeveloped into a genuine love
(05:51):
for public speaking andpresenting.
I learned as an adult that Ilove breweries and coffee shops,
but I'm not a huge fan of barsor clubs.
So after the usual period ofbeing in college and trying it
all out, I realized that thereis a special community out there
when you pursue the things thatyou love.
(06:12):
Through coffee shops andbreweries I found more
opportunities to connect withlocal artists or musicians.
Eventually I realized that I'mnot always shy, but sometimes I
need my space.
I'm not always sweet, butsometimes I need my space.
I'm not always sweet, but I tryto be kind.
I'm not always quiet, but Ilike to listen.
(06:33):
I'm not always anxious, but Ido like to have a plan.
Our identities are complicated.
We aren't just one thing oranother.
We're a beautiful mosaic ofevery experience we've had and
every feeling we felt aboutthose experiences.
We're complicated andcompelling and need space to
(06:54):
continue growing the web of whowe are.
It's tangled and can be alittle messy, and probably no
one other than amulti-dimensional mathematician
would be able to map it out forus, than a multi-dimensional
mathematician would be able tomap it out for us.
Moving past the perceptionsthat others hold of us allows us
to be all of that and more.
(07:15):
We are everything that otherpeople think of us to some
extent, but we have to put inthe work to look within and
recognize which parts of us arethe most authentic and bring us
the most fulfillment and joy.
And then we have to put in thework to be ourselves with
confidence.
Carve out the space in your homefor your collection of weird
(07:38):
mugs if that brings you joy, ormake a corner of your home into
your painter's studio if youenjoy doing that for fun or
professionally, whatever youprefer.
Rent an apartment and never buya home if you like having
people around you in thatenvironment.
Anything that makes you who youare deserves a space in your
(08:00):
life and be unapologetic aboutit.
Don't let people judge theclutter of your weird mugs or
that you don't want to have yourown home.
Not everyone has to.
I have siblings in all walks oflife.
They're all incrediblydifferent and they all find a
(08:20):
way to be really bold in theiridentities, which I took a
little longer to get to.
Some of them enjoy attendingprotests and being very involved
politically.
Some of them love coffee shops,like me, and try to find the
best ones in any city.
They visit coffee shops, likeme, and try to find the best
(08:42):
ones in any city they visit.
My big brother started abusiness as a handyman because
he just loves talking to people.
He studied philosophy incollege and talking to him is
like talking to a book.
That just has new levels ofwisdom.
My best friend loves water,literally any kind of water, any
body of water rivers, lakes,oceans, creeks, ponds.
She surrounds herself withsymbols related to those things
(09:06):
and is pursuing a career inenvironmental science, and it
can be your entire career thatyou've carved out for yourself,
or it can be the art you keep inyour home or the music you like
to listen to.
It could be volunteer work thatyou choose to do on the side.
Who cares?
Just allow yourself to lovewhat you love, because we don't
(09:27):
have the time to waste on otherthings.
We're limited in the time thatwe have.
So commit to being yourauthentic self and watch how you
change and grow as your lifechanges and grows around you.
I hope you all have a fantasticweek.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
(09:48):
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
© transcript Emily Beynon.
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with
your hosts Celia Williamson,ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola
and Keri Shaw, a podcast devotedto those whose job it is to
help others get or remainmentally, physically and
emotionally healthy, but whoalso need to take care of
themselves.
And how we're going to do this?
(00:22):
By first showing you thefiltered, pretty version of
success, and then the realstruggles, real work and raw
grit it took to get there, howthey took care of themselves and
also achieved their goals whiledoing it Together.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
We will work with you to improve and maintain your
internal health and growth whilehelping you achieve your
external goals and your nextprofessional achievement in life
, and we're excited to show youhow to follow your own
individual and unique path andachieve the dreams you have,
while taking good care ofyourself.
So let's get started.
Hello and welcome to theself-care podcast.
(01:04):
My name is Isabel Matosian andI will be your host today.
Before we get started withtoday's podcast, I want to
explain a little bit about thecurrent trajectory of this
project.
At this moment, we do not havefunding secured for another year
.
This means that we will be ableto continue our project in a
(01:24):
limited capacity for the nextmonth, but moving forward.
We'll only have one episodeplanned after today's and then
we'll have four self-care groupsin July to help with the
transition.
So we'll have one group perweek After that.
The current expectation is thatour project will end unless or
until additional funding isobtained.
(01:46):
So I just wanted to make sure Isay that in the podcast to keep
everyone up to date as well aswe're able to.
Our online community andpodcast will remain accessible
for July.
So if you are a member of thisproject and you would like a
free self-care journal to bemailed to you at no cost to you,
of course please send me anemail and I'll ship it right to
(02:09):
your home.
All right, so that was theupdate time.
Now for the podcast time.
Today we'll talk about how wecarve out the life that we want
for ourselves.
I think sometimes in life weget pushed or pulled down
(02:30):
certain paths and we don't getas much say as we might like.
It's like the common movietrope where the son feels forced
to take over his familybusiness and then he falls in
love with a free-spirited girlfrom a small town and suddenly
realizes that he wants to be aChristmas tree farmer.
Okay so maybe it's not a commontrope, but I've certainly seen
it a lot.
And even if it isn't a familybusiness versus Christmas tree
situation, there are certainlyparallels.
(02:51):
You grow up in a family wherethey follow a very specific
timeline of college and thenengagement, then marriage, then
kids, then domestic life untilthey die.
It's not a bad life, but whatif you grow up in that family
while not having any intentionor aspirations of having a
family at a young age?
Then all of a sudden, you're ablack sheep or an outlier.
(03:16):
It could be the opposite.
Your family is career-drivenand prioritizes pursuing degree
after degree and bigtime-consuming careers, when all
you really want is to slow downand smell a rose or something.
Whatever the combination ofevents or circumstances may be,
it can be hard to break away ordo something different than the
(03:38):
people around you.
Sometimes it can seemimpossible.
How could you possibly have onelife when no one else around
you has followed that samecourse?
Let's not underestimate thepower of perception.
How are you perceived by others, or how you perceive others,
can impact every choice you make, if you let it at least.
(04:03):
I grew up an incredibly shy kid.
I couldn't even order my ownfood at a restaurant.
No kidding.
My little sister had to ordermy macaroni and chocolate milk
for me when we were little.
As a result, I was labeled theintrovert of the family and she
was an extrovert.
No wiggle room, it's just howwe were identified and we
(04:25):
accepted it, and that followedme forever.
I was shy and sweet and thatwas my identity.
There was a time that my entirefamily was driving somewhere
together all eight of us.
I had my headphones in andcouldn't hear, and at one point
I looked up and realized we wereheading home.
So I asked why, and everybodywas so shocked to see that I was
(04:46):
in the car.
No one knew I was there, eventhough I was seated between two
of my siblings, who were alsonot paying attention to the
argument around us.
From that day on I was quiet,so it became my thing to be shy
and sweet and quiet.
In middle school I auditionedfor a solo in choir.
(05:06):
Standing in front of that roomI felt overwhelmed and I began
to cry, and from that point Iwas shy and sweet and quiet and
anxious.
So throughout high school Iknew who I was and didn't try to
stray too much, because whyeven bother?
But then eventually I found thethings that showed my true
(05:27):
colors, the things that revealedwho I was without the opinions
or labels from others.
I took up a sport that I wasgood at and gave me confidence,
and suddenly I had a communitywhere I was a leader and my
voice was heard and respected.
Then I discovered that I wascapable of talking in front of
groups of people, and thatdeveloped into a genuine love
(05:51):
for public speaking andpresenting.
I learned as an adult that Ilove breweries and coffee shops,
but I'm not a huge fan of barsor clubs.
So after the usual period ofbeing in college and trying it
all out, I realized that thereis a special community out there
when you pursue the things thatyou love.
(06:12):
Through coffee shops andbreweries I found more
opportunities to connect withlocal artists or musicians.
Eventually I realized that I'mnot always shy, but sometimes I
need my space.
I'm not always sweet, butsometimes I need my space.
I'm not always sweet, but I tryto be kind.
I'm not always quiet, but Ilike to listen.
(06:33):
I'm not always anxious, but Ido like to have a plan.
Our identities are complicated.
We aren't just one thing oranother.
We're a beautiful mosaic ofevery experience we've had and
every feeling we felt aboutthose experiences.
We're complicated andcompelling and need space to
(06:54):
continue growing the web of whowe are.
It's tangled and can be alittle messy, and probably no
one other than amulti-dimensional mathematician
would be able to map it out forus, than a multi-dimensional
mathematician would be able tomap it out for us.
Moving past the perceptionsthat others hold of us allows us
to be all of that and more.
(07:15):
We are everything that otherpeople think of us to some
extent, but we have to put inthe work to look within and
recognize which parts of us arethe most authentic and bring us
the most fulfillment and joy.
And then we have to put in thework to be ourselves with
confidence.
Carve out the space in your homefor your collection of weird
(07:38):
mugs if that brings you joy, ormake a corner of your home into
your painter's studio if youenjoy doing that for fun or
professionally, whatever youprefer.
Rent an apartment and never buya home if you like having
people around you in thatenvironment.
Anything that makes you who youare deserves a space in your
(08:00):
life and be unapologetic aboutit.
Don't let people judge theclutter of your weird mugs or
that you don't want to have yourown home.
Not everyone has to.
I have siblings in all walks oflife.
They're all incrediblydifferent and they all find a
(08:20):
way to be really bold in theiridentities, which I took a
little longer to get to.
Some of them enjoy attendingprotests and being very involved
politically.
Some of them love coffee shops,like me, and try to find the
best ones in any city.
They visit coffee shops, likeme, and try to find the best
(08:42):
ones in any city they visit.
My big brother started abusiness as a handyman because
he just loves talking to people.
He studied philosophy incollege and talking to him is
like talking to a book.
That just has new levels ofwisdom.
My best friend loves water,literally any kind of water, any
body of water rivers, lakes,oceans, creeks, ponds.
She surrounds herself withsymbols related to those things
(09:06):
and is pursuing a career inenvironmental science, and it
can be your entire career thatyou've carved out for yourself,
or it can be the art you keep inyour home or the music you like
to listen to.
It could be volunteer work thatyou choose to do on the side.
Who cares?
Just allow yourself to lovewhat you love, because we don't
(09:27):
have the time to waste on otherthings.
We're limited in the time thatwe have.
So commit to being yourauthentic self and watch how you
change and grow as your lifechanges and grows around you.
I hope you all have a fantasticweek.
That concludes this week'sepisode.
(09:48):
And remember, it's not selfish,it's self-care.
© transcript Emily Beynon.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.